Thursday, 4 November 2010

A Brighter Shade of Bale

Look, you know what, I’d love to write about anything else but frankly the week has been all about one man. So where does Barack Obama go from here? Well, he could do worse than set his Sky Plus for Spurs’ next match so he can watch the Welsh wizard Gareth Bale in action.

'Oh shit, I only went and missed my mouth, look you.'

Oh yes we all love Gareth Bale. Can’t get enough of him. Onan himself couldn’t have covered more inches than the footy press in the last couple of days.

Clearly he’s earned some short-term adulation. And given a bit of credit back to the BT publicists who were luring us into their football coverage pre-season with posters featuring Wes Brown (reserve), Michael Owen (crocked), Shay Given (who’s having a number two of a season) and well the boy wonder himself.

He’s the best thing to come out of Wales since Gareth Thomas erm... came out. Well since Giggs anyway. And it’s a good story cos let’s face it he was a bloody jinx 20 months ago. The Spurs motto was summat like Play Bale Must Fail.

At that time he was an attacking left-back with all the positional sense of paper aeroplane. In other words he was the mirror image of Glen Johnson. He was on the cusp of a loan move to Nottingham Forest – or, as we used to call it before they beat us 1-0 – Obscurity.

Now he’s this big striding, hip-swinging utter roaster of full-backs. It was awesome stuff even though you did have to wonder why Maicon wasn't given more cover by the right side of midfield after Bale's San Siro hat-trick. Why ever that was, you can guarantee it wasn’t Rafa’s fault.

Maicon is of course, the world’s best right-back (although against Gareth Bale, Phil Neville is the world’s best right-back – which Tony Thompson tells us is a paradox, although I know for a fact that that’s another word for aspirin).

Part of Maicon’s awesome reputation was built, I reckon, on his name. He sounds like he’s the sort of prosthetically-enhanced galactic toe-rag that might be about to take the Starship Enterprise apart. And yet Bale treated him like he was a tiny wafty little bug that needed to be dismissed – Micron, possibly.

If I was Alan Hansen, I’d be doing some of his pretend perfect prose now. Bale has got Pace, Power, Penetration, Purpose... ermm... pizzazz, piccalilli, pyjamas, etc, etc.

But pace he does have, by God.

As Tony Cascarino put it in his tremendous* analysis in The Times: ‘He’s quicker over 40 yards than he is over ten.’ Well that blew my fucking mind. Say Gareth can run ten yards in say 1.5 seconds... according to big Tony he can run forty yards in less than that. It’s possible that if Bale runs far enough he could actually get back to where he started before he set off.

But yes, he’s fast. I keep wondering how fast he could be if he really pinned his ears back. Literally pinned them back. Cos them lugs have got to be causing more wind resistance than them parachutes that shot out of the back of the Space Shuttle.

Of course part of the lad’s charm is that he’s no oil painting – well unless it’s an oil painting that might have been done by Dian Fossey. They say humans share 98% of the same DNA as chimpanzees and when I look at young GB I think ‘Really? That little?’ Mind he’s also got six GCSEs, bless him from A to C grade. (Although I reckon one of Ms. Fossey’s gorilla companions could muster an E these days, couldn’t they?)

Best of all we’re told he’s very down-to-earth. And not like Wayne and Coleen are down-to-earth cos they used an NHS hozzy. (In the light of recent events I reckon Wazza might’ve done that just cos he’s tight. Do we really need millionaires blocking beds in our overstretched public health system?)

'And honest to God, Coleen, I'll lift up da Joools Rimmittt Trophy like dis and den dey'll ALL love us again, just like you do.'

But young Gareth was offered a week off by Redknapp and he went home to be with Mam And Dad. Ahhh. And his mates. Yay for Baley. His mam says ‘”When he comes home, he is treated like a normal boy... Whatever we are having for dinner, he has for dinner.”’

Well that’s big of him. To be honest Mrs B I didn’t reckon he’d be spitting out his plonk and raging ‘Call this fuckin’ wine, Ma? Thank Christ I bought me own Chateau Neuf de Pape you fuckin’ philistines.’

But he’s a good lad Gareth and a very talented one n all. Not that Spurs owed everything to him. It was a fantastic night for the WHL faithful. And, given the way Harry has them approach the game, a success I thoroughly approve of. Inter were way off the pace. And there’s not a team who’ll enjoy meeting them in the latter stages if as seems likely, they qualify.

Meanwhile Man City went down to the team from Poland’s fifth largest city. Mancini’s right hacked off with these reports of bust-ups and divisions within the camp. I know, Roberto. That chat between Vincent Kompany and the Madebayor, that was just the sort of playful banter that proves how well-bonded the team is.

You can point at it all you like Adey, son, we still don't believe you

And Yaya Toure (not his real name, he just knows a lot of Sloanes) and James Milner are on great personal terms (over £200m grand a week in Toure’s case).

The thing is you just want it to be true. Cos when there’s so many of ‘em waist-deep in wonga you almost will them to cling on to each other and pull themselves under. At the very least there seems to be a hell of a lot of rutting stags butting antlers at Eastlands at the mo and whether the tough but doe-eyed Mancini can sort them all out is anyone’s guess.

And any road, Chelsea will win the coveted double this year. Chumps League and Premier League. At a dawdle.

*Sarcasm alert

253 comments:

  1. Where was Bale in the first half of the away tie in Milan? He's played three great halves in the CL and now he's the new messiah! He had a purple patch at the end of last season but if he can now do it week in week out then all the big teams will come knocking at Arry's door.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I bet the Southampton money men are looking on and rubbing their hands. After being in administration not that long ago they could be looking at a £10 million windfall if they have got a 25% sell on fee for Bale.

    Lucky old Liverpoo tonight. Gerrard coming on and papering over cracks bigger than my ex wife's arse. And Mancini's "trajectory of results" not heading in the right direction.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Colch,

    Bale will go in the summer. You ex-wife must have a huge arse although I'm sure that there are plenty of the current liverpool team that would be better filling that than a red shirt

    ReplyDelete
  4. A bit of a contrast here to all those money grabbing footballers out there.....

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-11699678

    Makes you realise that not everyone on the planet is like a FIFA world cup committee member.

    ReplyDelete
  5. He's said he wants to stay and see out his contract which runs until 2014 (I think) but unless he signs an extension I can see Spurs selling him as they won't want him to get into the last year of his contract and have his value reduced. That is of course if he keeps producing the performances to justify a big transfer fee. This cold easily be another case of the media building him up only to knock him down when he has a few bad games.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not sure why they gave their money to cemeteries but fair play. If I was close to death then I expect I would give money away like them but if I win the rollover on Sat it'll be fast cars, fast women, and lot of debauchery.......you only live once

    ReplyDelete
  7. All well and good Col... but why did they buy a lottery ticket in the first place.

    ReplyDelete
  8. So it wouldn't change your life Grit.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Colch,

    It makes sense to sell him while he's hot property but that depends on the board. They could get another couple of youngsters in but I think it will depend on whether they qualify for CL this season

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bo'

    It's only the fast crs I'm missing at the moment

    ReplyDelete
  11. I doubt I could afford the price, come the big lottery win I'll be knocking on Mr Aston Martin's door

    ReplyDelete
  12. BojanglesOfOz said...
    All well and good Col... but why did they buy a lottery ticket in the first place.
    -----------------------------------------

    Maybe for the same reason that Liverpool managers keep picking Ngog. They're hoping one day it'll pay off. But you probably have more chance of winning the lottery than of Ngog becoming a decent goal scorer.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Grit said...
    Not sure why they gave their money to cemeteries but fair play. If I was close to death then I expect I would give money away like them but if I win the rollover on Sat it'll be fast cars, fast women, and lot of debauchery.......you only live once

    -----------------------------------------
    True, Grit. (teehee)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Tee Hee was one of the villains from Live and let die...is there something you're not telling us?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Great stuff Boyo.

    Aye, sarcasm alert indeed. He's that fast that Gretar Steinson will have to run up his own arsehole before he puts his boots on.

    For 'rutting stags' I'm reading stuttering rags.

    The coveted double? Is that the twins from Yarm?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Welsh twat has only just come down from the trees. Superstar my arse.

    ReplyDelete
  17. First we had quality tits then two milk bottles now in the spirit of austerity we get coleenn in a bikini what next robbo a fat slapper from.Yarm eating a bag of.chips?
    Sent from my arse

    ReplyDelete
  18. Grit he's not the messiah he's a very ugly boy

    ReplyDelete
  19. Whatever happens don't let Bale go to Man U ... they'll ruin him like the others they've had off of us ... mind can they afford 50 mill right now?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Morning all. Man U are going to give you Carrick and Berbatov back in exchange Star. £30 million for Berbatov and £20 million for Carrick and let's call it even.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Liverpool manager Roy Hodgson is considering a January move for Tottenham's out-of-favour winger David Bentley.
    ------------------------------------

    Good to see that having new owners hasn't changed Woy. Still shopping in the bargain bin I see.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Bollocks says I Colch. They wrecked them they keep them.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I wouldn't be surprised if you end up getting Carrick back and Park as well. Fergie seems to view Spurs as a feeder club and wants to take Modric, Huddlestone and Bale.

    ReplyDelete
  24. PREDICTIONS

    Bolton v Tottenham 1-2
    Birmingham v West Ham 1-1
    Blackburn v Wigan 3-1
    Blackpool v Everton 0-2
    Fulham v Aston Villa 1-1
    Man Utd v Wolves 1-0
    Sunderland v Stoke 2-1
    Arsenal v Newcastle 4-2
    West Brom v Man City 1-2

    GOSSIP

    Real Madrid will offer the planet Mars in exchange for Gareth Bale.
    Liverpool v Chelsea 1-2

    ReplyDelete
  25. Mars eh Robbo .... hmm ... tempting.

    ReplyDelete
  26. ColchesterFC said...
    I bet the Southampton money men are looking on and rubbing their hands. After being in administration not that long ago they could be looking at a £10 million windfall if they have got a 25% sell on fee for Bale.

    Lucky old Liverpoo tonight. Gerrard coming on and papering over cracks bigger than my ex wife's arse. And Mancini's "trajectory of results" not heading in the right direction.
    -----------------------

    No they won't because as they did with Walcott they waived that clause with Spurs so they could get their money quicker when they were trying to avoid administration so Daniel Levy will be troiusering all £35M of Malcolm Glazers money in July.

    United will win the Quadruple with young Hernandez scoring loads of goals and Rooney getting some splinters the way Chicharito and Berbatov are playing well together

    ReplyDelete
  27. ColchesterFC said...
    A bit of a contrast here to all those money grabbing footballers out there.....

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-11699678

    Makes you realise that not everyone on the planet is like a FIFA world cup committee member.

    ==============

    That really is a nice story. Not often you read things like that.

    Oh and morning all.

    ReplyDelete
  28. 35 mill? Yeah that'll happen the day PSB are universally accepted as the greatest musical talent ever to grace the world Adam.

    Mind if that were to happen I'll stick burning cue tips into my ears to save every hearing about it.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Starfire said...
    35 mill? Yeah that'll happen the day PSB are universally accepted as the greatest musical talent ever to grace the world Adam.

    Mind if that were to happen I'll stick burning cue tips into my ears to save every hearing about it.
    ---------------------

    Better get those burning cue tips in then

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/oct/27/pet-shop-boys-silver-anniversary

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/reviews/zrd3

    ReplyDelete
  30. .................................Jacks.....Ngog
    Bolton v Tottenham.........1-1......1-2
    Birmingham v West Ham....1-0......2-0
    Blackburn v Wigan...........1-0......1-0
    Blackpool v Everton.........0-2......1-2
    Fulham v Aston Villa........1-0......1-1
    Man Utd v Wolves...........2-0......3-1
    Sunderland v Stoke.........0-0......2-1
    Arsenal v Newcastle........2-0......3-0
    West Brom v Man City.....1-1......1-1
    Liverpool v Chelsea.........0-1......1-1

    ReplyDelete
  31. .................................Jacks.....Ngog....Mike
    Bolton v Tottenham.........1-1......1-2.....0-2
    Birmingham v West Ham....1-0......2-0.....2-0
    Blackburn v Wigan...........1-0......1-0.....1-1
    Blackpool v Everton.........0-2......1-2.....1-1
    Fulham v Aston Villa........1-0......1-1.....1-2
    Man Utd v Wolves...........2-0......3-1.....2-1
    Sunderland v Stoke.........0-0......2-1.....1-1
    Arsenal v Newcastle........2-0......3-0.....3-1
    West Brom v Man City.....1-1......1-1.....2-1
    Liverpool v Chelsea.........0-1......1-1.....0-2

    ReplyDelete
  32. Pah ... silver anniversary ... 'kin kids compared to Iron Maiden, now 35 under Steve Harris's watchful eye and spine rattling bass.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Bolton v Tottenham.........1-1
    Birmingham v West Ham......1-0
    Blackburn v Wigan..........1-0
    Blackpool v Everton........1-1
    Fulham v Aston Villa.......1-2
    Man Utd v Wolves...........4-0
    Sunderland v Stoke.........1-1
    Arsenal v Newcastle........3-0
    West Brom v Man City.......1-1
    Liverpool v Chelsea........2-1

    Good run of results that would be

    ReplyDelete
  34. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  35. ................................Jacks.....Ngog....Mike.... Starfire
    Bolton v Tottenham.........1-1......1-2.....0-2 ...1-2
    Birmingham v West Ham....1-0......2-0.....2-0 ... 2-2
    Blackburn v Wigan...........1-0......1-0.....1-1 .... 2-1
    Blackpool v Everton.........0-2......1-2.....1-1 .... 3-2
    Fulham v Aston Villa........1-0......1-1.....1-2 .... 2-2
    Man Utd v Wolves...........2-0......3-1.....2-1 ... 1-1
    Sunderland v Stoke.........0-0......2-1.....1-1 ... 0-0
    Arsenal v Newcastle........2-0......3-0.....3-1 ... 4-2
    West Brom v Man City.....1-1......1-1.....2-1 .... 2-2
    Liverpool v Chelsea.........0-1......1-1.....0-2 ... 1-3

    ReplyDelete
  36. There we go ... that's my kiss of death upon most of those games. :P

    ReplyDelete
  37. PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!



    What are your views on Gnev,

    ReplyDelete
  38. the above is courtesy of our resident sommelier,and we all heartily agree with her.

    ReplyDelete
  39. .................................Jacks.....Ngog....Mike....Bo
    Bolton v Tottenham.........1-1......1-2.....0-2.....2-2
    Birmingham v West Ham....1-0......2-0.....2-0.....2-2
    Blackburn v Wigan...........1-0......1-0.....1-1.....3-2
    Blackpool v Everton.........0-2......1-2.....1-1.....2-1
    Fulham v Aston Villa........1-0......1-1.....1-2.....3-1
    Man Utd v Wolves...........2-0......3-1.....2-1.....2-1
    Sunderland v Stoke.........0-0......2-1.....1-1.....1-0
    Arsenal v Newcastle........2-0......3-0.....3-1.....3-1
    West Brom v Man City.....1-1......1-1.....2-1.....2-2
    Liverpool v Chelsea.........0-1......1-1.....0-2.....1-2

    ReplyDelete
  40. Sorry jacks, I missed that, what did you say? You need to say it a bit louder mate.

    ReplyDelete
  41. http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11667_6487780,00.html

    Not sure what to make of all this?

    ReplyDelete
  42. PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    PSB ARE 80'S SYNTH TAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE LISTENED TO BY ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11667_6487780,00.html

    Not sure what to make of all this?
    _________________________________

    I don't think you've missed him too much thus far Ngogo,so I wouldn't worry.

    ReplyDelete
  44. G'day Bo.

    plenty of poms in Perth at the moment?

    ReplyDelete
  45. They are all down in Rockingham mate... are you guys receiving news clips about Aussies protesting against boat people?

    ReplyDelete
  46. Morning all
    It would have been evening all, but due to very strong winds didnt get past Schipol on the way home, ah well pleasant night in a Marriot Courtyard


    H2H

    How much is a taxi to your place from the airport, name and post code please, now the bad weather has started to kick in, itll porobably happen again



    Talking of taxis

    Taxi for Mr Mancini

    ReplyDelete
  47. nothing on the BBC website Bo,where's best to look,The Age?

    ReplyDelete
  48. Why does this man need to go to Oregon

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_utd/9162480.stm

    He can work hard here, to get back into shape

    ReplyDelete
  49. 5926. At 10:55am on 05 Nov 2010, jacksofbuxton wrote:
    no Bo,it's water off a duck's back.He'll stop soon enough.

    Once teacher catches him.
    ===========================

    Speaking of which........

    My English teacher told me my grammar is shit.
    I said "Well, your grandad's a cunt!"

    ReplyDelete
  50. Good Afternoon! This is where you'll have been hiding then.

    Firstly, I dont rate Maicon. Secondly, Acc. to me this was routine Spurs win at home against a Rafa managed side. Thirdly, I'll appreciate it when due, so if Bale repeats his solo performances against say (Real or Barca) then we'll talk about it again.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Bolton v Tottenham.........1-1
    Birmingham v West Ham......2-0
    Blackburn v Wigan..........1-0
    Blackpool v Everton........1-1
    Fulham v Aston Villa.......1-2
    Man Utd v Wolves...........3-0
    Sunderland v Stoke.........2-1
    Arsenal v Newcastle........3-0
    West Brom v Man City.......1-1
    Liverpool v Chelsea........1-2

    ReplyDelete
  52. Yes Jacks, been a good festive day today. Woke up early mornin 5:30, offered prayers, lit some fire crackers. Met friends and relatives and ate lots of sweets.

    Heading to vacation to this beautiful place, about 10 hours drive from my place.
    http://www.ganpatipule.net/

    ReplyDelete
  53. one of my wife's students has given us a candle to light this evening SS11.

    Beautiful piece of work I must admit.

    I think Sehwag got his calendar dates wrong and set off his fireworks a day early.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Ohh thats cool. Then I too wish you a Happy Diwali.

    No fireworks from Sehwag, he just made it look so easy. 173 in no time... and got out as if he was bored.

    ReplyDelete
  55. GOSSIP

    Real Madrid will offer the planet Mars in exchange for Gareth Bale.


    -------------

    Planet Mars for Bale and a fun size mars bar for crouch (take him back to the catacombs, igor)

    ReplyDelete
  56. GOSSIP

    Real Madrid will offer the planet Mars in exchange for Gareth Bale.

    ===============

    If I was Spurs I would want at least Benzema and Saturn!

    ReplyDelete
  57. I'm off to my vacation and see you back on Monday. Till then good luck to all your FFL teams (except 'mostly redundant')


    Good luck to Arsenal too, although I'll miss them watching this weekend...

    ReplyDelete
  58. ................................Jacks.....Ngog....Mike.... Starfire.....Me
    Bolton v Tottenham.........1-1......1-2.....0-2 ...1-2.....3-3
    Birmingham v West Ham....1-0......2-0.....2-0 ... 2-2.....who cares?
    Blackburn v Wigan...........1-0......1-0.....1-1 .... 2-1......snore
    Blackpool v Everton.........0-2......1-2.....1-1 .... 3-2.....????
    Fulham v Aston Villa........1-0......1-1.....1-2 .... 2-2.....burp
    Man Utd v Wolves...........2-0......3-1.....2-1 ... 1-1......1-0
    Sunderland v Stoke.........0-0......2-1.....1-1 ... 0-0........15-0 come on you jordies!
    Arsenal v Newcastle........2-0......3-0.....3-1 ... 4-2.....2-1 this should be a good novelty match giants vs midgets
    West Brom v Man City.....1-1......1-1.....2-1 .... 2-2.......3-1 and bye bye mancini
    Liverpool v Chelsea.........0-1......1-1.....0-2 ... 1-3.....0-1

    ReplyDelete
  59. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...
    GOSSIP

    Real Madrid will offer the planet Mars in exchange for Gareth Bale.

    ===============

    If I was Spurs I would want at least Benzema and Saturn!

    --------

    the asteroid belt wowuld be a useful player in midfield, ngog

    ReplyDelete
  60. mornin Lads, bet your anus that Bolton won't be getting Bale. Although Ivan the terrible just did.

    ReplyDelete
  61. I prefer the jollity of Jupiter,a very cheerful piece.

    ReplyDelete
  62. he was a rubbish player, ivan the terrible nearly as bad as ivan the crap

    ReplyDelete
  63. yeah, another flash in the motel

    ReplyDelete
  64. is anyone still about or have you all been abducted by aliens from another planet

    Jacks, am not sure that I like the decription 'resident sommelier' I know I support Chelsea but why I should smell worse than anyone else on here (especially Colchs pants) I really don't know.

    ReplyDelete
  65. BHB,

    Apparently men with huge penis' are being kidnapped by female aliens. Most of the lads on here are fine, but fucking hell, this spaceship is really cool!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    BHB,

    Apparently men that are huge penis' are being kidnapped by female aliens. Most of the lads on here are fine, but fucking hell, this spaceship is really cool!

    ReplyDelete
  67. JOKE OF THE YEAR:

    Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Well I'm pleased you're having fun up there Ngog

    Could you beam up Rooney while you are at it, I do not know how well endowed he is but he certainly is one ginat prick

    ReplyDelete
  69. 2nd in JOKE OF THE YEAR CONTEST:

    Jackov.

    ReplyDelete
  70. My dyslexic mate smeared his dick with boot polish at 2am last Sunday morning. He thought he had to turn his cock black!

    ReplyDelete
  71. No, not Jack (sorry Jack) was trying to correct my typo

    ReplyDelete
  72. Tut ... I go away for three hours and Mancini didn't get the sack ...

    ReplyDelete
  73. Man Citeh have been away for 3 games Star and Mancini still hasn't got the sack, so I don't think 3 hours will make a difference.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Sunderland manager Steve Bruce has accused Newcastle of a lack of "etiquette" after the Monkees hit Daydream Believer was played over the stadium tannoy at the end of the Magpies 5-1 victory over the Black Cats on Sunday. Newcastle fans had been taunting Bruce with an X-rated version of the song throughout the match.
    Full story: Daily Mirror

    ====================

    Maybe Bruce didn't realise, but the song was a small tribute to Gareth Bale.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Just checked Lawro's predictions. Damn it Man Utd and Arsenal are fucked this week. Thanks Lawro!

    ReplyDelete
  76. Ngogo,this

    ....JOKE OF THE YEAR...

    is that the 365 days version?

    or you?

    ReplyDelete
  77. You're a extra Year. Also known as a Leap.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Birmingham have barred former owner David Gold from the directors' box and boardroom at St Andrew's for Saturday's game at home to his new club West Ham.
    ============

    Hahahaha!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  79. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    You're a extra Year.
    ________________________________

    Ngogo's English teacher told him his grammar is shit.
    He said "Well, your grandad's a Un**ed fan!"

    ReplyDelete
  80. Actually my grandad was a Sunderland fan.

    But you sir are a cunt......or year.......whichever you prefer!

    Poetry in motion.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Jackov, check the "A Scary Nut", not the team either.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    Actually my grandad was a Sunderland fan.
    ____________________________________

    good for him.

    Too many people born and bred in the North East become real trophy hunting whores.Good to see a Durham lad follow his team with pride.

    ReplyDelete
  83. I'm going with blogs 15-0 for Sunderland
    so I've made Bent captain

    ReplyDelete
  84. Although it was 1978 so it's not like we were any good at the time

    ReplyDelete
  85. Good stuff Robbo.

    Even I had to admit that Galen Bale had a more then decent showing against Inter, but what a surprise that the meedja are creaming all over him, I mean, they don't usually go overboard after one or two good showings from a previously unsung hero.

    Can anyone please tell me when Real Madrid obtained Mars?

    ReplyDelete
  86. H2,they were after Cadbury initially,but got outbid by Kraft.

    ReplyDelete
  87. adampsb said...

    Although it was 1978 so it's not like we were any good at the time
    _______________________________________

    1978 was a great year.

    ReplyDelete
  88. jacksofbuxton said...
    adampsb said...

    Although it was 1978 so it's not like we were any good at the time
    _______________________________________

    1978 was a great year.

    ============

    Was it your 50th?

    ReplyDelete
  89. Tone.

    It's approx 70km away from Schipol, so a taxi would be a bit on the pricey side.

    I'll put the address up if your still here and I'll delete it when you got it.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    jacksofbuxton said...
    adampsb said...

    Although it was 1978 so it's not like we were any good at the time
    _______________________________________

    1978 was a great year.

    ============

    Was it your 50th?
    __________________________________

    Don't be stupid.That would make me 82.


    I'm 84 you know.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Bolton v Tottenham.........1-1
    Birmingham v West Ham......1-0
    Blackburn v Wigan..........2-1
    Blackpool v Everton........1-2
    Fulham v Aston Villa.......2-1
    Man Utd v Wolves...........3-0
    Sunderland v Stoke.........1-1
    Arsenal v Newcastle........4-1
    West Brom v Man City.......2-2
    Liverpool v Chelsea........1-3

    ReplyDelete
  92. I'm surprised you can remember that far back....

    ReplyDelete
  93. Hey Robbo.

    In that photo of Adebuymore, isn't he just pointing to where he usually keeps his wallet?

    ReplyDelete
  94. FOOTBALL:Liverpool co-owner Tom Werner raises prospect of a Premier League '39th game' played abroad

    =================

    FUCK OFF!!!

    ReplyDelete
  95. I remember '78, my first trip to Wembley and almost crying all the way home.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Roger Osborne scored then got subbed a minute later.

    ReplyDelete
  97. There's no way I'm clicking on that link.

    ReplyDelete
  98. He was exhausted,bless him.

    Oh the golden days.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Golden days indeed. Three years in a row to Wembley for the FA cup, only managing to win it once, but as that was against Utd it kinda softens the blow. (not really though)

    ReplyDelete
  100. Judge who unmasked John Terry says another Premier League star has no right to anonymity


    Well there's another footballer who'll be having a sleepless night (but probably not a divorce)

    ReplyDelete
  101. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  102. 'Bells.

    I bet there are a hell of a lot of them sweating as we speak.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Is everyone still around.

    Its like someone got the band back together!

    ReplyDelete
  104. You've made a bit of an error there BHB.You are assuming that a premier league footballer has a conscience.

    ReplyDelete
  105. ok, all off to Holland, Torres Street here we come. Is it twinned with Toxteth H?

    ReplyDelete
  106. Scholesy, have you got a new pencil case and lunch box ready for Monday?

    ReplyDelete
  107. Robbo Said:

    Well that’s big of him. To be honest Mrs B I didn’t reckon he’d be spitting out his plonk and raging ‘Call this fuckin’ wine, Ma? Thank Christ I bought me own Chateau Neuf de Pape you fuckin’ philistines.’
    _______________________________________________

    This made me chuckle for two reasons.

    1) It was a funny image created by robbo
    2) It confirmed Robbo as being middle class

    I swear he drives a BMW X5 or summat.

    ReplyDelete
  108. ha ha trott, yes mate. Bit nervous...dont know anybody. Who will i play with at lunchtime?

    ReplyDelete
  109. STGP

    btw, belated congrats on back to being a grafter

    ReplyDelete
  110. Fortunatly not Trotts, Chernobyl has that dubious honour.

    ReplyDelete
  111. I swear he drives a BMW X5 or summat.

    =================

    Citroen Saxo with a stupidly massive exhaust.

    ReplyDelete
  112. ScholesTheGingerPrince said...
    ha ha trott, yes mate. Bit nervous...dont know anybody. Who will i play with at lunchtime?
    ----
    Yourself!! ;p

    ReplyDelete
  113. Another funny blog robbo.

    The bit about the BT ads reminded me of Talksport commentating on the world cup a few years back whilst watching it on telly cause they didnt have the broadcasting rights.

    ReplyDelete
  114. You're right Jacks - stupid of me to think that any of them may have a conscience.

    So H2H - the first round is on you then is we all pile over to see you with Tone.
    Trotts - are you sure that it was Torres St, I thought it had been substituted due ongoing work needed to be carried out?

    Good luck Monday STGP - but not tomorrow


    GO WOLVES

    ReplyDelete
  115. Heh heh heh thanks BHB...i will really miss.....my kidney & spleen.

    Anyone running a sweepstake on when i will get fired?

    Im guessing at 3 weeks.

    ReplyDelete
  116. cheers tone.....gotta get the train at 6.24am. BHB, is injecting coffee, legal?

    ReplyDelete
  117. Ofcourse the first ones on me Bells.

    ----

    Bet you last longer then this guy Scholsey;

    Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini insists he will not quit despite the club slumping to a third defeat in a row against Polish side Lech Poznan in the Europa League: "I will stay at City until they fire me," he vowed.
    Full story: The Sun

    He'll be home Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Injecting coffee is perfectly legal STGP - tho I, personally, would snort it.


    Little tip - try snorting it in granule form, not when mixed with boiling water

    ReplyDelete
  119. BHB...how did you know about my little tip? Has my missus been on here again?

    ReplyDelete
  120. Alternatively, the powdered form is easier on the nose but the 'rocks' from granules can also be smoked

    ReplyDelete
  121. ScholesTheGingerPrince said...
    BHB...how did you know about my little tip?

    Ngog told me that was why you weren't on his spaceship

    ReplyDelete
  122. you would think so H, but mancini must have some hold over garry cook....either that or garry cook is incompetent?

    ReplyDelete
  123. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...
    FOOTBALL:Liverpool co-owner Tom Werner raises prospect of a Premier League '39th game' played abroad

    ----------

    No surprise there but even with an extra game they still won't win the title.

    Doesn't Tom Werner understand why we have friendlies and tours

    ReplyDelete
  124. ha ha, will try that first day. Hi STGP (almost gave away my name then, sorry folks STGP is just my stage name)...yeah hi stgp, coffee? er, yeah can i smoke it here? or do i have to go outside?

    ReplyDelete
  125. Do you think he will last that long Xmas?

    ReplyDelete
  126. ScholesTheGingerPrince said...
    Heh heh heh thanks BHB...i will really miss.....my kidney & spleen.

    Anyone running a sweepstake on when i will get fired?

    Im guessing at 3 weeks.
    --------------------

    Probably by 10am if your boss is a City fan and reads the guff you post on here (or if he is mates with Lewis Wilshere)

    ReplyDelete
  127. adampsb said...
    Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...
    FOOTBALL:Liverpool co-owner Tom Werner raises prospect of a Premier League '39th game' played abroad

    ----------

    No surprise there but even with an extra game they still won't win the title.

    ============

    Pretty funny adam.

    ReplyDelete
  128. no adam, he's not a city fan. He looks and sounds dead normal.

    ReplyDelete
  129. talking of city, i keep hearing how they are denying the problems they have in their dressing room and how they are united.
    ___________________________________________

    just shows the big inferiority complex they have....but i can understand why they would want to be us. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  130. well everyone seems to have buggered off so I'm too.

    Have a good weekend

    ReplyDelete
  131. Right, speak later chaps & chappets.

    Enjoy your weekend.

    Unless your a Chelski fan, sorry BHB, but we need Chelski to lose.

    ReplyDelete
  132. Never knew FC United had a Neville in their team ...

    ReplyDelete
  133. G'day all

    Perth Glory have a Neville in the squad too Star... about as good as the prick that plays for the unmentionables.

    ReplyDelete
  134. No VDV in the fantasy footie this week, but after playing my wildcard last week I now have some decent subs to step up and fill the void. Maybe you should try using your wildcard Bo.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Ipswich manager Roy Keane insists he knows nothing about any plans to extend his contract at Portman Road after Town's chief executive Simon Clegg told a supporters' club meeting on Thursday that a decision on Keane's tenure could be made soon.

    -------------------------------------------------

    Jacks, I heard that he's going to be offered a lifetime contract, Freedom of the Town of Ipswich, and his choice of all the first-born male labradors born within the town's boundaries. Your thoughts?

    ReplyDelete
  136. The dogs would be ok Noel,K**ne is well known as a walker.

    ReplyDelete
  137. The Fucking Bottlers entertain Dover today in the FA cup. Gona be a fine grudge match given they chored two of Dover's managers earlier this year. Just as well I'm outta town for the weekend lol.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Somerset ladies' team Keynsham Town Reserves have scored 84 goals in five games so far this season without conceding any, after their 4-10 win over local rivals Somerton and Langport.

    ---------------------------------------------

    And people say Chelsea got off to a flyer this year ....

    ReplyDelete
  139. Good win for united last night.........ahem

    ReplyDelete
  140. Somerset ladies' team Keynsham Town Reserves have scored 84 goals in five games so far this season without conceding any, after their 4-10 win over local rivals Somerton and Langport.

    ------------------------------------------------
    How do they win a game 10-4 if they haven't conceded any goals?

    ReplyDelete
  141. Well, I won't be about to holler and hurl abuse at my FFL team when they play so Bo might be in with a chance of beating me lol

    ReplyDelete
  142. mornin Lads, Noel, it was a typo, correct score was 41-0. Some very sloppy defending resulted in 2 own goals, 39-0 would have been a fairer result.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Scholesy..you shouldnt worry about giving out your first name here..H2 posted his home address here to a bunch of yahoos like us, so i wouldnt worry about a name.

    re:little tip..if thats what the missus calls you maybe you should translate that to mexican and put it on your shirt for the first day at work..a la your new hero.

    Ngog..you do realize that by hoping for a chelski loss, you are hoping that liverpool win. Never thought I'd hear that from a FC United (oops sorry ManU) supporter, no matter what.

    ReplyDelete
  144. trott - you are having a laugh. The 36th goal was a joke. The keeper thought it was a free kick so threw the ball down (about 10 yards in front of where it should have been) but in fact the ref played the advantage (sensible like) and the lass tapped it in to the net. Outrageous! Mind you Somerton and Langport always get all the decisions.

    ReplyDelete
  145. AH, what if my first name was Gary and the surname Nev......nope i cant even write it.

    Do you mean go for the court jester type position within the office. The one everyone laughs at rather than with. Sorry mate, thats why i left the old company.....sob

    Unfortunately needs must, so a liverpool win would be most helpful.

    ReplyDelete
  146. http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/11/06/arsene-wenger-accused-of-having-secret-affair-with-french-rapper-115875-22696435/
    _________________________________________________

    chuckle

    ReplyDelete
  147. was zere a blonde rapper in my bed? if zere was i did not see it

    ReplyDelete
  148. well done Trotters, if Matty Taylor had a right foot it could have been 37-2. Grettar Steinson, the new best right back in the world!

    ReplyDelete
  149. where's Tone? Is he asleep on the floor at the Dungheap?

    ReplyDelete
  150. He's not here Trott.

    Well done to your brave lads, a good win.

    Not so easy juggling the PL and the CL, is it spuds?

    ReplyDelete
  151. 1506: Owen Hargreaves IS coming off. His comeback lasts less than six minutes - I don't think it's his knee, just a pulled muscle, but it means his afternoon is over already. Absolutely shocking luck for him.

    1505: Bad news from Old Trafford. Owen Hargreaves is limping, and it looks like he is coming off.
    _________________________________________

    Was he King Herod in a previous life?The bloke just has no luck.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Update:

    Owen Hargreaves has gone on the rampage through manchester killing all firstborn sons

    ReplyDelete
  153. New Update:

    Owen Hargreaves has been replaced after 6 minutes by Gary Neville in killing all first born sons.Hargreaves has come down with Lassi Fever.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Mihael Owen Hargreaves unlucky? How do you work that out?

    The guy earns millions, he's worked for 6 minutes this season and since he's sigmed for IOU I can hardly remember him being on the field.

    I'd say the guys who have to pay him are the unlucky ones.

    ReplyDelete
  155. The point I was making is that after spending so long out through injury,Hargreaves pulls a muscle 6 minutes into the game.

    ReplyDelete
  156. If he was in any other line of work his contract would of been canceled, if he was a horse he would of been shot. If he'd played for a different team I might of cared. ;}

    ReplyDelete
  157. They sure did, needed an own goal tho

    ReplyDelete
  158. By pure coincidence, I'm playing the same person in both Robbo and Jacks league, looking good, made Bent capt, didnt turn up, pedersen on the bench to come in

    ReplyDelete
  159. Trotts
    Still alive and relative sober, was just passing thru AMS on Thurs, and due to very strong winds had to stay at a Marriot,. I was just considering that next time delayed, might pay a visit to the Dungheap

    ReplyDelete
  160. what the devil is wrong with berbatov? wasnt even on the subs bench, but the FFL website has him fit as a fiddle. No VDV either this week. Thank god for my cheapest buys - coleman and albrighton coming good with a goal each.

    cant wait for tomorrow's clash wiht chelski..cant wait for it to be over that is.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Tone, what did the other guests at the Marriot have to say about your very strong wind?

    ReplyDelete
  162. Trotts

    I would have to admit that most guests were complaining about the wind, but as I said,
    there is nothing I could do about it

    ReplyDelete
  163. G'day all

    Lucky Un**ed do it again.... Hammers threw away 2 points... trotts lot played well and deserved the three points... Jack's team had a good away win and the mighty O's held dagenham and redbridge to a well earned draw.... could have been a better saturday but wasn't too bad.

    ReplyDelete
  164. tis tabloid tittletattle about arsenes "girlfriend" is blatant lies, if you look at the photos its quite clearly theo walcott in drag

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1327196/Arsene-Wenger-accused-having-affair-French-rapper-Donya.html

    ReplyDelete
  165. Jacks,
    what a score so far in FFL and still 3 to playand Town/K**ne win
    Enjoy the weekend

    ReplyDelete
  166. flappyhandski's purple patch is over then.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Bloody hell that was painful to watch, but well done to the Toon who made us look like a Mickey Mouse outfit.

    ReplyDelete
  168. woohoo H2...what joy to watch this performance after all the pain of this season..its still only halftime i know, but the agony that this season has been, the first 45 mins at anfield today has been cathartic.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Good for you AH mate.

    The Arsenal result pretty much ruined my weekend, but luckily I'm a pretty shallow guy, so a few beers and a possible defeat for Chelsea and I may feel a little better.

    ReplyDelete
  170. the first time i ever have arsenal players in my FFL team (sagna and walcott) and they lose to newcastle.

    ReplyDelete
  171. losing the FFL by 3 points never felt this good. i thought i had it in the bag with coleman and albrighton scoring and drogba,malouda and cashley to come, but we played well enough to restrict the 3 of them to a combined total of 5 points.

    ReplyDelete
  172. hm...i see the toon won today..
    beat Arsenal 1-0 apparently...
    well well....

    who'da thought it...

    lovely...

    ReplyDelete
  173. It's not a rapper, the accent fucked it up, it's a slapper.

    ReplyDelete