Monday, 8 November 2010

Torres de Force

How was it Abba put it?

"Can you do the sums Fernando?
We were shit and we were tired and we knew not where to go
We were so afraid Fernando
Every time you did a sprint it seemed your hamstring was too tight
And the form that you were in seemed to suggest the future wasn’t bright

"But there was something in the air last night, you weren’t so shite, Fernando
You were playing with such liberty, ‘gainst John Terry, Fernando,
Though we always thought that we could lose, we just hung on.
Do you think you’ll do the same again, or go lame again, Fernando?"

Mind them hamstrings, son!

Ahhh. He’s back. Little Nando. Just when you thought it was safe to write him off. Two elegant goals from the main man finished off a pretty feeble Chelsea and you can feel the quiet ooze of belief on the Anfield terraces.

Mr. Henry’s playing the long game, muttering about big signings and slow rebuilding. Woy’s got three wins on the spin. And they’ve Daniel Comolli to find them top talent all over Europe so that the revolution can be complete by 2012.

My first reaction to that was ‘bye bye, Woy’ but then I thought to myself ‘well, that’s just malicious, what would Woy say? I mean just cos Martin Jol was undermined by Comolli at Spurs and Dennis Wise took the guff out of KK’s sails at Newcastle doesn’t mean it’s going to happen at Anfield. It just looks like it will.

Meanwhile, Liverpool continue to be buoyed by the same old toothsome twosome that they’ve relied on for three years. Torres on Sunday, Gerrard on Thursday. Even Rafa managed to keep a team going on the strength of them two. You still feel the revival is hanging by the tender thread of a Nando ligament or a Stevie tendon.

And such is the Premier League this year that there seems every chance that six sides might yet be involved. Might I direct you to the final sentences of my last blog: ‘Chelsea will win the coveted double this year. Chumps League and Premier League. At a dawdle.’ If anything can guarantee a close race then it’s a statement like that from me.

And while the Blues lose, United snooze and it’s still bad news. Park Ji-Sung, sporting a plum rinse barnet that wouldn’t have looked out of place on the bonce of Joan Collins in Dynasty, snaffled a late winner against Wolves.

Park Ji-Sung's stylist

This led to another of this season’s perennial themes of– Mick McCarthy’s bass bleat. How Yorkshire is Mick? Talk about bluff. He couldn’t be more Yorkshire if he were a flat-capped whippet in Geoff Boycott’s teapot. It’s time we set his perpetual lament – ‘We played well, we got nowt, that’s footy’ - to the Hovis theme.

If there is owt else noteworthy about last weekend – apart from Mogga’s Middlesbrough actually winning a game – it was the never-ending rise of Newcastle. And the fact that Toonites are still not getting ahead of themselves.

There was a time when such a run of results – walloping Sunderland and winning at Arsenal – would have led to the sort of fantasies that even Terry Pratchett might have found a bit far-fetched.

But not with little Chris Hughton in charge. I’m guessing the only reason he hasn’t got a contract to sign is that he’s not fitting the bill at the mo. You, the Newcastle United manager, son? Where’s the farce? Where’s the training-ground bust-ups? What the hell is Joey Barton doing behaving like a reasonable young man?

Of course, Hughton does have Andy Carroll. I like Carroll. He’s the sort of lad you came up against in school matches and thought ‘oh fuck’ before he’d even kicked a ball. He’s been compared to Big Duncan Ferguson, but Andy can run and so far he’s only used his nut on the ball not the opponent.

And I can’t imagine Ferguson going to live with the club captain after a spot of domestic bother. There’s still a bit of me finds a big lunk of a Geordie having a put-me-up at the Nolans intriguing. There’s Bernadette tucking him in. Coleen giving him his cocoa. And Linda asking him if he’s in the mood.... Sigh... There was a time...

Lining up for Andy's bedtime story

Alan Hansen reckons Carroll might be able to take up the Shearer mantle. Well, that’s pretty onerous stuff. Shearer’s the best No.9 this country’s produced in my lifetime and I don’t think Carroll’s all that. But like my preferred choice of lass, he’s more than a handful. He’s also got a good left foot and too much hair. Mark Hateley, in other words. (But with time to be much better).

Capello would like him in the squad, I hear, and hellfire if Kevin Davies is in there then Carroll’s got to be next in very short queue.

This week we have the latest square-off between the Big Mouth and Noisy Neighbour in Manchester on Wednesday, complete with a two-mile alcohol exclusion zone around Eastlands. (Wouldn’t have been possible when Big Ron was manager.)

Of course there’ll be no Rooney but there’ll be plenty of other greedy little gets plying their trade. Although Balotelli won’t. Citeh are appealing but frankly the bloke deserves a red card every now and then just cos he’s so irritating.

I reckon Fergie’ll play it tight, Mancini will do the same (he never does owt else) and a 0-0 won’t bother either of ‘em. Having said that, Citeh will nick it, despite themselves.

And Stoke will win at home to Birmingham too. Well they would do, but a goalbound header by Kenwynne Jones will be cleared off the line by the ref’s toupee. And they will concede a goal in the last minute when a penalty is awarded against Asmir Begovic for handball. Poor old Pulis. His luck’ll change.

394 comments:

  1. Robbo,

    you'll be delighted to know that the FC Naylor book arrived in the post today,and I quote....


    "The author would like to acknowledge the contribution of his friend and colleague,Niall Ashdown,without whom this book could not have been written."

    I do hope Tony Thompson didn't bore FC too much in The Blue Bell.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pi jacks how did you get that book as the only other poster on fc's blog I also want a copy he's a funny guy

    Robbo Mick's not Yorkshire he's Irish beggorrah

    ReplyDelete
  3. blogidy,

    send a cheque for £10 made payable to Luke Sorba.

    26 Dulwich Village,
    London.
    SE21 7AL

    for a signed copy.

    To Jack,a barber not a trimmer.

    Still,at least I know my guacamole from my mushy peas.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Long may Stoke's bad luck continue I piss myself laughing everytime it happens and just lately that's made me a very happy man

    ReplyDelete
  5. maybe the tenner had better be a tena then blogidy.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ahhhh the Nolan sisters, forerunners of the Spice Girls, or maybe the Pet Shop Boys, not quite sure on that.

    Good stuff Robbo, yes Caroll for England but only after KD has led us to World Cup glory in 2014 and the repeat in 2018 eh.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Gaga that's a good joke, jacks but I had to Google it, I'll leave it to your arch nemesis ngog to explain how you know about incontinence pants

    ReplyDelete
  8. am not


    (this is a lesson in how women will not admit to being not right)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm 84 you know blogidy.I have to wear trousers with elasticated bottoms to stop it flowing out.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Gaga? Haha that onomatapoeia shed of bun elephant quo mastered the predictive test on this fun yet

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your claiming now that your knob hangs out the bottom of your trousers legs?

    ReplyDelete
  12. blogdignag said...
    Your claiming now that your knob hangs out the bottom of your trousers legs?

    ===================

    The trousers only just go past Jacks waist line Bloggy, as they start around his neck. You know how it is with old men pulling their trousers up higher than Simon Cowell.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Women eh? BHB can't live with em. Can't live with em.

    ReplyDelete
  14. no blogidy,just a malfunctioning prostate.

    That's why I've started wearing yellow shoes,doesn't show up the stains.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDhETFcgWTE

    ReplyDelete
  15. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    BHB, what are you not right about?
    _________________________

    That you're a nice bloke Ngogo.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Trotters the nolan sisters were actually the forerunners of bewitched who had ants not shit in their elasticated denim pants

    ReplyDelete
  17. There's a nice incontinence theme developing don't want lurkers accusing us of incoherence do we

    ReplyDelete
  18. Nice one Robbo. I think there might be 8 teams fighting for Top 4 places in PL.

    Torres indeed surprised me with 2 goles. Carroll should be Arsenal's #9 from January 2011.

    ReplyDelete
  19. blogdignag said...

    There's a nice incontinence theme developing don't want lurkers accusing us of incoherence do we
    _______________________________

    Stop taking the piss blogidy

    ReplyDelete
  20. Well in the absence of RBA someone has to say it: The EPL will be won by no-one.

    ReplyDelete
  21. http://www.football-league.co.uk/page/ChrisCharlesBlog/0,,10794~2203665,00.html

    ReplyDelete
  22. I am not not right about anything, Ngog, here's an example

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1327668/Policewoman-disciplined-calling-girl-killed-patrol-car-scumbag.html

    ReplyDelete
  23. actually that last post (not the trumpet type) was in very poor taste in hindsight

    ReplyDelete
  24. The Pakistan w/keeper Haider has gone missing?

    Well of course he has and only one man can find him - Sikha

    ReplyDelete
  25. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11709871

    In a statement, Ronaldo said he was "delighted" with the outcome.

    "I take enormous pride in my professionalism. I treat my training and recovery from injury very seriously and would never have drunk and danced in a nightclub without my crutches," he said.

    _______________________________________

    So is he saying that clubbing the night away with his crutches is ok?

    ReplyDelete
  26. You're right Robbo. We are a 2 man team still, no doubt about that. But as 2-men armies go, we are definitely the best, and probably good enough to stay in the youre-hopeless league till the rebuilding is done and we become a 4 or man team. It's time for us to keep a low profile and not talk too much about Top 4 or title challenges etc.. Right now, we're doing good being debt-free and trying to acquire promising youngsters. If only Woy would be a little more attacking and focus a tad more on younger talent (in the stead of the Konchesky's and Poulsens of the world) he might yet keep his job.

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnfieldHopeful said...

    You're right Robbo. We are a 2 man team still, no doubt about that.
    ----------------
    And from Simon_Price01 on Twiter, one of the better comebacks

    "If Liverpool didn't have Gerrard and Torres, they'd be rubbish." Yeah, and if my uncle had tits, he'd be my auntie.

    ReplyDelete
  28. HAHA Anon...couldn't have put it better myself.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Yeah, and if my uncle had tits, he'd be my auntie.

    ===================

    Wouldn't that just make your auntie a lesbian?

    ReplyDelete
  30. If she's from that part of Greece Ngogo,then yes.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I mention the word "Lesbian" and in comes the 84 year old.

    Dirty Old Get!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Didnt I read that Lucas and Kuyt had a hand in controlling the game as well

    ReplyDelete
  33. BTW Robbo
    great stuff, esp the Nolan/Carrol reference

    ReplyDelete
  34. Smells a bit fishy in here........

    Cod it be the Carp that people write?

    ReplyDelete
  35. http://www.asylum.co.uk/2010/11/08/jockeys-brawl-after-race-promptly-get-fined/

    ===============

    Haha!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Is Bents Hamstring worse than vdV
    who do I kick out
    who do I buy in

    ReplyDelete
  37. ooh..I'm up against the big scoring cheadle tractor boys this week..dammit VdV, get your hamstrings back in order and get on the pitch man.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Just seen the FAC2 draw, I know we didnt beat York first time round(in fact the Millers are winless in 4),could be at Darlo next time I'm home

    ReplyDelete
  39. Waxing lyrical, Robbo! That ABBA song re-write is brilliant, but I can't get the tune out of my head now.

    Oh, and hopefully, the Noisy Neighbours are going to get their gobs shut for once, Hernandez to score the winner in the 99th minute (and that's from a ManU fan...).

    The Anonymous one who hasn't bothered to set up a profile

    ReplyDelete
  40. Don't want to be picky Robbo, but it's Damien Commoli, not Daniel. I think he did a good job at Spurs personally. I'm not so sure that he had much to do with Jol's demise, but was certainly blamed for it. He scouted a lot of quality players though, who the chairman then went and bought. Whether or not the manager had enough input into the player signings may have been the cause of some problems. I think he'll do a good job for Liverpool, and at least Woy has someone who he can blame next time they're in the relegation places.

    ReplyDelete
  41. blogdignag said...
    There's a nice incontinence theme developing don't want lurkers accusing us of incoherence do we

    -------------------
    I nearly shit my pants when I read this.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I did - got to go now.

    ReplyDelete
  43. The gene pools getting a bit shallow guys I'll be posting inanities into silence soon but that won't stop me

    ReplyDelete
  44. waiting for the gospel according to st. James part 4... or was it part 5?

    ReplyDelete
  45. Morninig alll. My predikshuns for midweek games.

    Fixtures.......................SS11
    Stoke v Birmingham.............1-1
    Tottenham v Sunderland.........2-1
    Aston Villa v Blackpool........2-0
    Chelsea v Fulham...............3-0
    Newcastle v Blackburn..........1-0
    West Ham v West Brom...........1-1
    Wigan v Liverpool..............1-2
    Wolverhampton v Arsenal........1-2
    Everton v Bolton...............2-1
    Man City v Man Utd.............1-0

    ReplyDelete
  46. I don't know if this will make the cut,but I've tried to get this on McNulty.....

    ____________________________________________
    170. At 6:01pm on 08 Nov 2010, Chelsea_SUFC wrote:

    Chelsea hadn't been at their best probably since the end of September before this game. We've been really missing Lampard and even more so Essien against Liverpool, and Drogba seems to have Cancer.
    _________________________________________


    Derek & Clive -
    "Cancer"

    [ from the album "(Live)" (1976) ]

    CLIVE:
    I heard that, er, George Stit had, er, moved away from, er, the, er, the Willesden area and, er, gone up, er, round Chadwell Heath.
    DEREK:
    Cancer?
    CLIVE:
    Yeah.
    DEREK:
    Tch. ..... Oh my ..... Er, it's funny you should say that 'cause you remember Enid? Who used to, erm, live across the road at number 104?
    CLIVE:
    Yeah, just next to 105.
    DEREK:
    Right.
    CLIVE:
    Mmm.
    DEREK:
    Er, she's now working at the United Dairies down Green Lane.
    CLIVE:
    What, cancer?
    DEREK:
    Yeah.
    CLIVE:
    Tch, Christ. You remember the Nolan twins?
    DEREK:
    Ohhh, yeah, .....
    CLIVE:
    Fifi? F-Fifi Nolan, .....
    DEREK:
    Right.
    CLIVE:
    ..... and .....
    DEREK:
    And-, and Ronnie.
    CLIVE:
    And Ronnie Nolan, mmm.
    DEREK:
    Yeah.
    CLIVE:
    They've taken up darts.
    DEREK:
    Cancer?
    CLIVE:
    Yep.
    DEREK:
    Tch.

    ReplyDelete
  47. This comment has been referred for further consideration. Explain

    _________________________________

    Oh well

    ReplyDelete
  48. Boring bastards aren't they Jack. Saw Words of Wummery over there ... to say I was tempted to get an account just to irk him would be an understatement lol.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Star,there's a bloke called Mr Chelsea that makes me laugh.Has a go at every one and everything.But if you dare suggest a Chelsea player isn't the greatest the world has ever seen....

    ReplyDelete
  50. jacksofbuxton said...
    Star,there's a bloke called Mr Chelsea that makes me laugh.Has a go at every one and everything.But if you dare suggest a Chelsea player isn't the greatest the world has ever seen....

    Jacks - I do hope that you are not even trying to imply that ANY Chelsea player is not the worlds greatest player (possibly of all time) in their current position?


    Mrs Chelsea



    Did you know that Tesco has Sancerre on offer for half price, don't drink it myself but do remember you/Mrs Jacks saying you enjoyed it?

    ReplyDelete
  51. thanks for that BHB.We're currently taking advantage of Asda flogging 3 for £10 on Pinot Grigio,when it's normally £7 a bottle.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Although I might pop up to Tesco to get a few bottles for Chrimbo.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Cheap bubbly and cheap car insurance ... is there anything Tesco can't do?

    ReplyDelete
  54. They can't save woys bacon star although they could carve him up and sell him as cheap streaky

    ReplyDelete
  55. They can't - well don't - display random pictures of Jose Mourinho in store

    ReplyDelete
  56. stweaky bacon?

    so tell me,is it twue what they say,that you guys are ........gifted?

    (zzzzzzzzzip)

    oh,it's twue.It's twue

    ReplyDelete
  57. Oh well, I'm 200 quid to the good thanks to them even if they do have an anti-Mourinho policy.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Just make sure you don't run over any Mourinhos then Star.

    It'll make the policy invalid.

    ReplyDelete
  59. If that happens I'd better hope Tesco have started selling get out of jail free cards by then.

    ReplyDelete
  60. You'd be ok Star.The CEO of Tesco is a scouser.He'll ask St Gurnard for advice on avoiding jail.

    ReplyDelete
  61. I read Ngog ... Ancelotti reckons he's fine now. Debating weather to keep him in the team or not, though given the drubbing at Anfield he'll want everyone fired up and getting the title charge back on course.

    ReplyDelete
  62. I've kept him in the team. I reckon he may get a hat trick.

    You heard it here first.

    ReplyDelete
  63. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket/other_international/pakistan/9170707.stm
    ----------------
    A revolutionary in Pakistan Cricket team. But why are they such easy picks?

    ReplyDelete
  64. Hargreaves faces five weeks out after going off after 10 minutes in the 2-1 win over Wolves last Saturday as he made his long awaited comeback.
    --------------
    Hahahahahha. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  65. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY BBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Jackov, what happened to your beard?

    http://www.davestravelcorner.com/journals/publish/article_126.shtml

    ReplyDelete
  67. I'm up against Tribal Monk (wherever he is) in the FFL tonight .. ought to be interesting given we've largely the same attack and defenders.

    Hope my midfield are up to it though I won't know till tomorrow as I've only got Ridgewell playing tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Just checked, I have adampsb in the FFL Robbo H2H.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Alright guys, I am leaving for the day. I have'nt done any changes to my FFL team, so I am ready for yet another beating.

    Have a good one for the rest of the day.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Right, that's me done for the day.

    See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

    ReplyDelete
  71. Great ABBA re-write Robbo.

    As for Andy Carrol, he could of been a Nolan Sister, they've all probably got the same hair stylist.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Why Did You Ngog Rafa said...

    Jackov, what happened to your beard?

    http://www.davestravelcorner.com/journals/publish/article_126.shtml
    ______________________________________
    You what?
    Of all the things to put up.
    Usual tasteless tat from you too.

    Can't you put something relevant up?
    Useless nonsense like that blocks up the blog.
    Ngogo being childish as usual.
    Time to reflect on your posts.

    Far be it from me to suggest your poor taste.
    As it's only something you can deal with.
    Calm it down on here Ngogo.
    Everyone will be happy then.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Well, I'm up against the newly employed Scholsey in the FFL tonight. I don't think he'll have time to change his team and as I'm been called down to DA Dungheap neither do I.

    Good luck mate and let us know how the first days went.

    ReplyDelete
  74. heres hoping a 92nd minute penalty decision goes against stoke. the inside of pulis' brain is like an overheated large hadron collider just now and when his persection complex smashes into his sense of injustice it will create a blackhole into which the britannia stadium will disappear for everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    could happen.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Maybe Pulis, SAF and big Sam et al , should pull on the refs shirt and do a lower league game(with all TV cameras blazing), lets see if they get everything right

    ReplyDelete
  76. the conventional wisdom amongst prem managers seems to be that SAF has succesfully used his ref bashing pronouncements to gain autonomic control of refs whistle-blowing reflexes. so theyre all at it now.

    ReplyDelete
  77. jacksofbuxton said...
    Robbo,

    you'll be delighted to know that the FC Naylor book arrived in the post today,and I quote....


    "The author would like to acknowledge the contribution of his friend and colleague,Niall Ashdown,without whom this book could not have been written."

    ---------------

    is it any good, jack? let me know before i shell out.

    fc naylor and robbo robson should team up. niall and luke are an under-appreciated writing team who i guess just need the right format or idea to become as well-known as they deserve to be

    esp. considering some of the untalented unfunny wankers thrust blinking and clueless into the public consciousness

    ReplyDelete
  78. SAF has power over not only refs whistles but also mozzies. in 2006, SAF said he hoped there would be an outbreak of malaria in the Chelsea squad. and now, there is.....

    ReplyDelete
  79. evening trott. bolton could go 5th tomorrow

    weirdly, if bolton and newcastle lose, and liverpool win, the scousers will go 5th and we'l all be wondering what the fuss has been about

    ReplyDelete
  80. What fuss? has there been a fuss about something? heehee. maybe I should've waited till tomorrows game against wigan before typing that.

    ReplyDelete
  81. (SAF) "questioned whether some of the club's supporters were "embarrassed" by the way those in charge at Eastlands had conducted themselves."
    ----------
    he's lost it. this is the club run by the genetically degenerate Glazers and a billion dollars in debt

    ReplyDelete
  82. He can say that blogs, cos if it was the other way around and he had 10 trillion pounds to spend, he'd only get Michael Owen on a free transfer and that would be it.

    He's a fucking prick. Any excuse to try and take the spotlight off the fact that his squad is pretty piss poor, and that City are probably going to win.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Well Ridgewell backfired on me last night (can't believe he's brum's highest scorer) .. oh well, least I didn't play Elmohamady hehe.

    One down, ten to play.

    ReplyDelete
  84. blogdignag said...

    jacksofbuxton said...
    Robbo,

    you'll be delighted to know that the FC Naylor book arrived in the post today,and I quote....


    "The author would like to acknowledge the contribution of his friend and colleague,Niall Ashdown,without whom this book could not have been written."

    ---------------

    is it any good, jack? let me know before i shell out.

    fc naylor and robbo robson should team up. niall and luke are an under-appreciated writing team who i guess just need the right format or idea to become as well-known as they deserve to be

    esp. considering some of the untalented unfunny wankers thrust blinking and clueless into the public consciousness
    _____________________________________________

    It's very funny Blogidy.It takes the form of a weekly column in a paper owned by his ex wife.

    Oddly enough FC Naylor and Derek "Robbo" Robson in their alter egos have worked together an awful lot.

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1413567/bio

    http://www.radiolistings.co.uk/programmes/losers__the.html

    ReplyDelete
  85. Morning all.
    Is Gareth Bale only a Champions League specialist? 2 goals and 1 assist in 10 games @ an average of 4pts per gameweek in FFL.

    Does'nt help the manager?

    ReplyDelete
  86. Ajax's Uruguayan striker Luiz Suarez has told club officials he is interested in a move to Tottenham. (0930 GMT)
    -----------------------------------------------
    Yes please.

    ReplyDelete
  87. "Mancini has lavished £140m on his squad in 11 months, but is no better off in terms of points-per-games than Mark Hughes's side at this stage last season and rumours of disharmony between players and coach refuse to go away."

    ==================

    It shows how much the board really wanted Hughes in charge if they keep Mancini.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Definitely Noel ... what's the point of having a midfield of our calibre when the strikers are duds?

    ReplyDelete
  89. Duds for the Spuds? (As an Arsenal fan might say)

    ReplyDelete
  90. http://www.asylum.co.uk/2010/10/28/video-did-a-mobile-phone-appear-in-a-1928-charlie-chaplin-film/

    ReplyDelete
  91. Yes, if need arises he can act as goal keeper as well. Like say in the dying moments of FA Cup Final between Arsenal and Spurs, a superb save with hands by Suarez, and RvP scoring the penalty. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  92. blogdignag said...
    evening trott. bolton could go 5th tomorrow

    weirdly, if bolton and newcastle lose, and liverpool win, the scousers will go 5th and we'l all be wondering what the fuss has been about

    -----------------
    Mornin Lads, Blog we wuz 5th already on Saturday night, premature ascendulation. The Spurs-Sunderland result was a fix so they could both go above us. Conspiracies abound. The Pool have done well to zoom up the league but they're over due a groin or hammy tweak from one of their superstars, it'll end in tears.

    ReplyDelete
  93. I'M IN THE LIBRARY _ really - Yarm Library Yarm High St Teesside - the land of the double winning team - I assume winning the double means winning two in a row (or consecutively - wudna want me grammar to be not right like)????

    Now then :)

    ReplyDelete
  94. Bet for tonight Celtic, Gooners, Happy Hammers and Citeh to win - ohhhhh body fooorrrmmmm ad lib to fade

    ReplyDelete
  95. Which Superstars Trotts?

    I know Liverpool have a hammy waiting to happen and a thug. Who else do you speak of?

    ReplyDelete
  96. How's the Library? Is it as quiet as in here?

    ReplyDelete
  97. Oh look, I've put my photo back in place!

    ReplyDelete
  98. Hey Ngogo -= Ive gone for Citeh agaisnt yr lot tonight pal - hey did ya see the thing about cantona other night = medjia trying to trun the derby into a world event :)

    ReplyDelete
  99. Apart from old woman talking about menopause and the smell of stale piss - its groovy mate - groovy - my laptop is fucked DELL U R A DISGRA£E OF A MANUFACTURER!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  100. Still an ugly twat Ngog - you cant change that easy mate

    ReplyDelete
  101. Hey mate - walked past the bookies the other day - and who or whom should be outside - Fat Tracy - (all - think of one of the fat slags in VIZ - then double their fatness and slagness) - she was stood outside the bookies smoiking a fag - class never fades!!!! :)

    What have I missed?????

    ReplyDelete
  102. Hey up lad!

    No I missed the Cantona programme. Shame.

    HP or ACER is the way forward in laptops matey.

    Yep I haven't changed a bit in the last 5 years. Cheeky get!

    ReplyDelete
  103. Fat Tracy? Adam will be pleased she is doing well for herself!

    ReplyDelete
  104. Nowt wrong with a bit of binge posting.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Well as long as it's not with Fat Tracy and the likes........

    ReplyDelete
  106. Anyway - off to a meeting Ngog - am in the process of setting up a Community Interest Company installing Solar Panels and being a self employed consulant - beats working full time mate !!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  107. Solar Panels eh? I'm getting a couple of them on my house in February 2011.

    Enjoy mate.

    ReplyDelete
  108. http://www.walletpop.co.uk/2010/11/10/are-you-in-the-dumbest-town-in-the-uk/

    Anyone live in Swindon?

    ReplyDelete
  109. Well, that was a mini flutter of messages right there.

    Surely there is some lurkers about.......BHB? SS11? Star? Trotts? Bloggy?

    No? Fair do's....

    ReplyDelete
  110. Noel said...
    Ajax's Uruguayan striker Luiz Suarez has told club officials he is interested in a move to Tottenham. (0930 GMT)
    -----------------------------------------------
    Yes please.
    ______

    Starfire said...
    Definitely Noel ... what's the point of having a midfield of our calibre when the strikers are duds?

    ------
    You guys obviously don't get to see the Ere divisie much, Suarez is a complete twat........... on second thoughts, I hope he goes to Spurs too, he can be your Alves.

    Oh yeah, afternoon peeps.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Yes Ngog, lurking around and wrapping up for the day.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Narf London derby in US of A
    ------------
    http://www.arsenal.com/usa/news/news-archive/mls-playoffs-feature-a-north-london-derby-

    ReplyDelete
  113. G'day H2H!
    Check out JET's drag-back-cut-in-left-foot trick shot.
    ----------------
    http://www.arsenal.com/usa/sh/news/news-archive/jet-brill-goal-for-reserves-

    ReplyDelete
  114. Morning gents and BHB..should be a very interesting day's play..several spots up for grabs all over the table. I dont think i have seen this close a league season ever.

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  115. Good stuff, SS11, I was pretty surprised that JET didn't get a longer run out against Shahkter last week and with Bendy and RiP coming back we may not see him for a while yet.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Ngog.

    That's some conspiricy theory in that video you posted.

    If it really is a time traveller, then it's a fuckin ugly one, pretty stupid too. Surely there wouldn't of been any satelites/cell sites in the '20's, therefore a mobile phone would have been useless anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Ngog, when I used the term "superstars" it was meant, er, loosely.

    Tracy sounds like a cracker, who's got the pictures?

    ReplyDelete
  118. H, right now I couldn't care if he is the Cunt Incarnate, we're crying out for a striker who'll actually score goals regularly for us, if he can do that for us, so be it.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Star, he cannot be the cunt incarnate. Obviously, there can only be one and it's SWP .

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  120. Star, I can't see him cutting it in the PL, but as I said, you're welcome to him. When's Defoe due back?

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  121. Nice opening goal from the torres/gerrard duo..i know i know..2 man team blah blah...and the arsenal guy in my FFL actually scores..nice opening 10 mins.

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  122. oh my dear lord Woy..1-1 against Wigan with a chance to move into 5th and Kuyt replaced by Poulsen???!!!! show some ambition man..its wigan for christs sake.

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  123. I only managed to see the last 30 minutes of the Arsenal game and by the end of it (until Chamakh scored) I was wondering if the Arsenal game was an own goal... didn't see a lot of enterprise there... seemed like we were just making sure we held onto the win rather than look for another goal.

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  124. Should have been ... Arsenal goal was an own goal.

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  125. ahhhh Bollocks, I think letting ten man Everton score in the 94th tells me it's time to give up on catching Chelsea...........NURSE......

    ReplyDelete
  126. So FBH,

    Can you do me a good deal in E'Cliffe?

    ReplyDelete
  127. Shite ... got beaten by Monk by a point ... fuck you Cole and Nolan for getting yellow carded.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Morning fellas.
    -------------
    Easy Bo. It was more important to keep nerves and win the game. And we just did that. Flappyhanski made some good saves and Arshavin made some good runs on the flank. Apart from that the game was played on first gear.

    ReplyDelete
  129. My team is fucking shite. I lost again by a handsome marging of 18 points.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Adam Johnson is better off at Boro. Whats the use of playing for Manciteh if not given a chance to play against likes of Chelsea/Arsenal and Un**ed.

    ReplyDelete
  131. My team play like Spurs (amazing one game, shite the next) while taking the Arsenal approach to the league table (staying near the top and in touch with the leaders without seriously troubling them)

    ReplyDelete
  132. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/b/blackpool/9178229.stm

    ---------------------------------

    He he ... I hope Blackpool stay up just so we hear more of Holloway.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Here's a good game,courtesy of Baggie Mike.

    http://www.sporcle.com/games/peanut4/atoz_prem_goals

    Name the top scorer in the prem for each letter.Answers only get revealed if you choose to at the end of the 7 minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  134. BHB prediction Actual result

    Aston Villa 3-2 Blackpool | Aston Villa 3-2 Blackpool
    Chelsea 1-0 Fulham | Chelsea 1-0 Fulham
    Everton 1-1 Bolton | Everton 1-1 Bolton
    Man City 0-0 Man Poo | Man City 0-0 Man Utd
    Newcastle 1-2 Blackburn | Newcastle 1-2 Blackburn
    West Ham 2-2 West Brom | West Ham 2-2 West Brom
    Wigan 1-1 Liverpool | Wigan 1-1 Liverpool (tee hee after Sunday, I'm not bitter)
    Wolves 0-2 Arsenal Wolverhampton 0-2 Arsenal

    Well all I can say is I should have been an octopus.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Do you have tentacles BHB?

    And notice what I said, it wasn't testicles.......

    ReplyDelete
  136. I am very pleased to say, Ngog, that I have neither

    Essien however was sent off last night for a nasty tackle but don't think it was a tentacle

    ReplyDelete
  137. I'm sure Essien has a nasty tackle most days......

    ReplyDelete
  138. that's not the dressing room rumours I've heard

    ReplyDelete
  139. Well I can't comment any further on the Chelski dressing room BHB.

    ReplyDelete
  140. You'll need your best Scottish accent for the punch line. Enjoy.

    How to get to Heaven from Scotland ....

    I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday School class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven..

    I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"

    "NO!" the children answered.

    "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"

    Again, the answer was 'No!'

    By now I was starting to smile.

    "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"

    Again, they all answered 'No!'

    I was just bursting with pride for them.
    I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"

    A six year old boy shouted,

    "Yuv goat tae be fukin' deid"
    Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir e'e...

    ReplyDelete
  141. SS11 said...
    My team is fucking shite. I lost again by a handsome marging of 18 points


    I think I can safely say my team is shiter than yours SS. Actually started off pretty well at beginning of season and am now plummeting down both leagues at an alarming rate.

    Bo - up against you next in league. I always swore to basically leave my team alone throughout the season but am now tempted to use my wildcard. What's your view on that and have you used yours yet?

    Anyone else here at the moment?

    ReplyDelete
  142. Hey BHB..I'm here, still basking in the glory of hammering wigan 9-0 yesterday and rising up to 5th place.

    Got over my hammering by Helsinki last week by managing a decent enough victory over jacks (would've been close had arsene chosen to play walcott for even a min, as chamakh wouldnt have come off the bench). If it makes any difference, i played my wildcard in the sencond week of the season, after week 1 showed me what an idiot manager i would've made. have been doing pretty well ever since. you're also going to get another wildcard in jan, so might as well use this one.
    Dont know why Bo won't use his though.

    ReplyDelete
  143. This may be a controversial opinion but I do feel that as big as an annoying C**t as G.Neville is, he is just an 'Annoying' one. Barton on the other hand symbolises the immutable c**ntish of a right C**T.

    ReplyDelete
  144. My apologies AH I must have mis-predicted last nights result between Wigan and you. Hearty congrats on an unbelievable win!

    Thanks for advice on using wildcard (Bo - are you listening) I'll have a go and have a bit of a change around - and then watch all my 'new' players get injured or something

    ReplyDelete
  145. Can't stand the little (cover your ears) *+*?*** *** *%** BHB.

    I have a prediction that Holloway (as much as I love him for what he' doing at our club) may not last the season. I can see a Keeganesque rant coming on soon 'I'd luv, luv it'. Followed by a nervous breakdown.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Howdy pardners.

    I agree MR, Dolly Barton is indeed a massive gapping twat, but he pales in comparision when compared to the the uber minges that edit and present MOTD.

    Hanson comments that Essien's out of control two footed stamp, wasn't that bad but Fabregas' tackle (which I admit was a bad one) was utterly disgraceful, yet somehow an absolute horror tackle by Henry on Arshavin didn't get shown or mentioned. If you wanna talk about c-units, then these guys are the biggest to walk the earth since the vaginasaurus-rex

    ReplyDelete
  147. Hello H2

    Just seen this on BBC website

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/chelsea/9181246.stm

    Ray Wilkins has just left Chelsea with immediate effect. Bit sudden to say the least

    ReplyDelete
  148. Bo's used his wildcard, and beat me quite handily with it the other week peeps.

    ReplyDelete
  149. A bit strange that one 'Bells, he has been a good servant to the club.

    ReplyDelete
  150. H2

    I don't think - now that Robbo and CC have left - that the BBC actually employ anyone who isn't a self-absorbed smug YEAR with a vastly overinflated ego.

    ReplyDelete
  151. True Bells, true.

    Anyways, as for the ffl, I haven't used my wildcard nor have I changed my team for a few weeks. I took a gamble this week by leaving in Fanny Fart and Essien, but that paid off, with both scoring. I got the highest score in the H2H game this week and jumped into the top 10.......... It's all downhill from now.

    ReplyDelete
  152. I have to admit H2H I didn't eally understand where Hanson was coming from on MOTD last night. It was an obvious stright Red, he could hav snapped his leg easily.

    They really need to get some new people on there. None of them do any research (maybe Dixon), but the rest just shrug their shoulders and look at eachother when they don't know about a player or about a club. F*ck me thats their job
    and its all licence payers money, and who ever once told Mark 'thatched cottage head' Lawrenson that he is funny needs shooting.

    Christ I'm in a bad mood today.......and my ff team doing crap

    ReplyDelete
  153. H2, you might want to replace VdV for starters. I have just made him captain (replacing drogba) so he is probably going to get in 2 own goals and a red card this weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Maybe they could be renamed Pundicks, as you rigtly say MR, Mark Lawrenson is particularly irritating with his 'witty' comments. Gary Lineker just makes you want to punch the smugness out of him.

    Maybe there's something in air today cos I am in a real grotty mood too and its nothing to do with FFL as if it were I'd have been in a sh*t mood for weeks

    ReplyDelete
  155. AH.

    I put him in the team with the whole curse thing in mind. If I take him out he'll probably score a hatrick. I removed all L'pool players a few weeks ago and look how well they're doing now.

    ReplyDelete
  156. If you wanna good tip on what to do in the ffl team, yhen check out RBA's team. (A'shot Scumbags) He hasn't touced it since September yet he is doing really well in all the leagues he is in, including topping Jacks league.

    ReplyDelete
  157. check out RBA's team. (A'shot Scumbags) He hasn't touced it since September yet he is doing really well in all the leagues he is in, including topping Jacks league.


    I spotted that earlier today actually - maybe its all in the pies

    Right I'm off to be grumpy to poor old Mr BHB - have a good evening everyone and STGP if you are lurking how's the job going?

    ReplyDelete
  158. H2H
    Thanks for that cofidence booster, I play him this w/e

    and Jacks in the other HtoH

    ReplyDelete
  159. Well it's easy then Tone, you definetly know who you're up against, so you can change your team accordingly..........

    Or don't!!!????!!!

    ReplyDelete
  160. went 4-4-2 last night dropping Chamakh, thinking RVP would play

    good decision, me

    but have crept up to 4th in Jacks HtoH

    ReplyDelete
  161. I'm not starting rumours or anything...just musing. Why on earth is Ray Wilkins leaving Chelsea "with immediate effect"? I mean someone like him who can speak Italian and act as liaison between the manager and the players... where else would he get a job like that?? Oh wait....

    (Archie MacE....)

    ReplyDelete
  162. Maybe Wilkins was only leading them sideways and not forward, just like his passing in former days

    ReplyDelete
  163. G'day all

    BlueH, I used one of my wild cards last week (in case you didn't know) and have to say it was worth doing... gave me a victory over Star and Ngog... the latter being a Un**ed man made the win sooooo much better.

    Tone, I dropped Chamakh from my squad last week (when I used my wild card), he'll probably go on to be the leagues top scorer now.

    ReplyDelete
  164. mornin' Lads and Ms. BHB.

    BHB, all this talk of fantasy had me have a close look at things and there we are together, middle of the table, me on top....fantasy indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Evening all.

    Well done to H for thrashing me in the FFL. I am the avram grant of the FFL. Only when i got caught after attending a massage (ray) parlour (shudder...that made me think of the ray parlour/charlie dimmock likeness)....where was i...yes i was ruining a gag.........ahem

    Only when i got caught after attending the massage parlour, my missus cut off one of my gonads........BHB has the other, along with several other items.

    Job Update....Job Update....Job Update

    Job is going well now i have got my head round the commuting. Paying a whole bunch of money to be either squashed like sardines on each and every train or just have them cancelled and then try to find an alternative way home that doesnt call at every fucking station. I did get called a gentleman on the tube the other day as i let a lady get off the train ahead of me. She was stunned that someone did that for her. How we chuckled as i elbowed back past her on the platform so i could gain back the initiative. She laughed and laughed as she lay there getting smaller and smaller as i disappeared in to the distance.

    The actual job is good as well. Nice people, good at their jobs.......just wondering why they employed me? Some sort of community equality policy i guess.

    They have a rather strict email and internet policy so at the moment i darent even venture off the mainstream path...especially not to look at "www.WPC-body-part-snatchers.com"......its where i met BHB for the first time....sniff..

    ReplyDelete
  166. maybe they did take you to be the court jester after all scholesy..:)

    good to hear the jobs going well.good stuff and heres hoping RBA gets one too and gets back online.dont get me started about the commuting mate..once had to walk from London Bridge to Canary Wharf along the train tracks as the jubilee line trains refused to go further and the buses were on strike.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Is it me, or is Joey Barton's new haircut very 'Adolf'? What with the moustache at the start of the season, I'd be surprised if he didn't get driven round in the back of a large Mercedes convertible and holidays in the Bavarian Alps.

    ReplyDelete
  168. Fuck me this blog's on the slide. Fewer and fewer comments, by the blog. More and more losers losing their cushy numbers so they can no longer make the inane comments they once used to. Further and further down the Blogtopsites rankings (not that that says much - they're all loser websites).
    One day you will all figure out you've been wasting your lives away and may, just may, if you have one ounce of intelligence left in those wasted bodies, figure out a better way to spend your dull, mediocre lives.

    ReplyDelete
  169. I'm not a bar code or a Barton fan, but look at their position in the league, partly due to the way he has been playing alongside Nolan( who, drat I dropped a few weeks ago from my FFL).

    His behaviour has got better, momentary lapse, freely pleaded guilty, no contest, banned for 3 games, but then as with most similar players they are marked men, who opponents will try to wind up.

    Wake me up, I'm almost agreeing with McCarthys comments

    BTW Bring it on tomorrow Jacks(and RBA, whereever you are)

    ReplyDelete
  170. Anonymous said...

    Fuck me this blog's on the slide.... etc yawn

    ***************

    nothing more dull and mediocre than this kind of troll. what a dickless piece of shit you are. fuck off.

    ReplyDelete
  171. i see harrison has posted a video from his training camp wielding an axe and threatening to "chop" Haye up but not with the titchy axe hes got in the sun he wont. cant see anything but a haye victory

    ReplyDelete
  172. Nah, you can go fuck yourself without help from us lot Anon.

    Ok, that was mean of me, I'll help you along there. *Passes Anon a Courgette*

    There you go, fuck yourself to your heart's content and then kindly fuck off mate.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Anonymous.......Not got the balls to show yourself.

    So, we are wasting our lives on here, in your opinion, why the fuck are you doing the same.......IDIOT!!

    ReplyDelete
  174. Robbo - I have a dull and mediocre life which I would like to waste, when is the next blog due please?

    ReplyDelete