Friday, 7 January 2011

Nice Little Urners!

There’s the chill evening pint on a warm summer’s day.

There’s the soft kiss of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey after the ten minutes’ thawing time is up.

There’s the hard smack of a green chilli crunched off the top of a true jalfrezi.

And then there’s the taste of victory. Sweet, full-bodied, crisp and consummate Victory. I say Victory. I mean, Utter Annihilation. England were more dominant than a fat lass at a finger buffet.

Apparently this is the worst Australia team ever. Really? Good. Once they’ve unpeeled themselves from the chunky soles of Team England’s DMs they can go away and deal with that. Of the blokes currently wearing the baggy green only three of them could reckon on deserving another go. Hussey, Haddin and – if only for a bit of gumption, Siddle. Let’s hope the baggies are recyclable.

'Look at us, Punter, they've done us up like skippers!'

Lord knows we’ve had some cack-handed selectors in the not-too-recent past. This lot of Australian pickers must select using the blindfold and the drawing pin.

Not since Marilyn Monroe stood on that grille have I seen owt quite so wafty as Phil Hughes. Shane Watson would be great if he didn’t get halfway up, look down, and come over all dizzy. Ponting has been honest about his form and has taken out his frustration on officials rather than the turgid lame-brains all around him. Michael Clarke has all the confidence of a baby turtle trotting through a seagull colony.

The bowlers have been average to poor, bluntly spearheaded by Mouthy Mitchell who has talked a lot but Perth aside, delivered little. Leave the sledging to the snow, Mitch, mate. Hilfenhaus must be Old German for Trundle.

You could see how desperate the selectors were getting cos of their Freudian slip of a selection policy. First, Bollinger. Then Beer. I half-expected to see a bowling attack of Neil Harvey Wallbanger, Glennlivet McGrath and Keith Miller Lite.

Nah, they weren’t up to much – and for once, England got ‘em by the throat in Tests 4and 5 and didn’t let go.

The Barmy Army were in their pomp – like the footy fans of one of them Championship sides that still somehow stagger to the FA Cup Final, there was no pricking the joy. (Just watch us cheering when Mowbray leads our boys out in May!) Obviously there wasn’t a bloke amongst them who earned under forty grand a year, but what the hell? It’s good to see the old-fashioned values of beer, sunburn and stupidity all condensed into one jolly mass of Englishness.

As for the heroic Englishmen well... it’s a wonderful achievement. It really is. And a lot of the credit goes to Flower and Strauss. We can just about expunge the memory of the 5-0 drubbing last time around. Just about.



Cook was the revelation of course. His namesake discovered Australia but even had that Cook imbibed a dozen senna pods he could not have got more runs. As it was he was closely followed by a dose of the Trott. I’m not sure I could watch Jonathan for too many days in the future. He can make Chris Tavare look a bit carefree. But he’s been like cement for the team.

Pietersen, well... he’s been Pietersen. His claim that England wouldn’t be where they are today were it not for his sacrificing himself to get rid of Peter Moores is very Marc Almond (takes a lot of swallowing). But they’ve managed to cage his ego and got him back somewhere near his best.

Ian Bell – perhaps the least engaging post-match interviewee since Alan Shearer – showed bags of style on the park (if you ignore his twatty sunglasses) and Prior flayed them like a master butcher on Day Four.

England weren’t afraid to ditch the slightly struggling stork that is Finn for the hulking menace that is Tremlett. Tremlett was the rediscovery of the tour. He must be hugely intimidating to face, like being charged at by a runaway tennis umpire’s chair.

Bristling Bresnan took up the mantle of honest Yorkie with great verve. Swanny didn’t tear them apart but didn’t half shut ‘em up. And in Jimmy Anderson England have a rival to Dale Steyn as Shit-Hot Bowler in the World.

And just to prove that the team is a team, Collingwood leads them out this morning/last night, even though by his standards he’s been pretty shite. I mean in this series he averages less than Ponting!

It’s great to see the Durham lad bow out now, mind. He’s been damned with fiant praise over the past couple of days cos he’s ‘made the most of his limited ability’. To my mind that’s the highest praise you can give.

Obviously we’d all like to be Kevin Pietersen and be able to reverse sweep a six in a blindfold, but Colly’s done more than just grind out inningses and he’s been a top one-day player, a more than useful dobbler of a bowler and the finest English fieldsman since the scurrying twitchfest that was Derek Randall.

Apart from the Western Australian aberration, where Mitchell Johnson’s arm was clearly being remotely controlled by Denis Lillee with a handheld monitor, it was a series of complete bliss.

Count 'em. An innings and 71. An innings and 157. An innings and 83. Hmmmmmmmm!

The Aussie failure is being matched in the Premier League too. Chelsea, the Abramovincibles, the Blue Meanies – a team that oozed through and over the opposition like so much West London lava – have well and truly cooled off.
Soon Ancelotti’s eyebrow will take off out of there and the rest of him will surely follow.

Meanwhile in Ipswich the prawn sandwich salesmen have come out of hiding. And back in Cheshire a pair of Irishman’s hounds are cowering in their kennels and begging not to go our for walkies.

Now can one of youse lead me back into football management?

If we needed verification, we have it. Keano is a cack manager.

Ipswich could do worse than bring in Andy Flower.

944 comments:

  1. third - which is probably higher than Chelsea will finish

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  2. Not that I'm disillusioned (oh yes I am, oh no I'm not) by Chelsea at the moment but I was on their website the other day and one of the columnists had a competition for suggestions on buys in the January window - I suggested Tottenham. (Don't suppose I'll be winning this weeks prize)

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  3. And the faux pas of it all was England captain who lost 5-0 was there to present the 'urn' to Strauss. The end of Australian dominance began long back when India beat them couple of years ago in Australia and today England performed the last rites.

    Robbo, brilliant blog as ever!

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  4. BHB Could have been worse you could have suggested Michael Ballack, Joe Cole or Ricardo Carvalho

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  5. From the previous blog.
    'Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp hopes to sign David Beckham on two-month loan by Sunday'


    *sigh* ...
    ---------------
    Star, I hope the deal happens. Plus Ronaldinho to Rovers too. It will be a good advert for PL.

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  6. BHB, Makelele and Desailly would be good signings too :P

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  7. I actually rate(d) Carvalho, Ballack I was very pleased to see the back of, Joe Cole was sorry to see him go but not so much now the way he's been playing (would fit right back in with us then!)

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  8. You could always sign David Beckham then you wouldn't have to pine for Mourinho

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  9. From the previous blog.
    SS - yep India are the prize scalp and tendulkar's the greatest so it will be a real test, we'll need pieterson on form. i think we can do it, though..
    -----------
    Blog, The series will be played after IPL 4 season and this year there are 2 more teams added which means more games for the players. England will be the favorites.

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  10. a dose of the Trott

    ------

    aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhh a Trottileaks pandemic

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  11. Chris Tavare a spitfire pilot crossed with a slug - 35 runs in six and a half hours at Madras in 1982

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  12. cherry garcia prince of ice creams for me

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  13. SS - nah India are favourites. I see Oz are down to 5th now, below Sri Lanka

    the talented pakistanis have cheated their way down to 6th but come top even above the Ozzies in the Stupidity Championship

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  14. oh no there isn't, Blog!

    Good stuff Robbo, I can tell you're happy so enjoy the glorious glow of victory, milk it son.

    Do those South African lads still play for England?

    BHB, you should be proud of yourself, coming on here and showing support for your team as they go through this difficult patch, chest thrust forward in a grand display of allegiance, you're a fine example to us all.

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  15. Good stuff as usual Robbo. SS11, Vaughan was injured for the 2006/7 tour, so Freddie was captain. This might have been one of the reasons we lost 5-0. Another was that we were too up our own arses on that tour.

    On a football note, as a Spurs fan, i really hope Beckahm does not come to WHL. Nothing to offer Spurs. Sadly, it looks like it'll happen. Unlike Blackburn's ridiculous pursuit of Ronaldinho.

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  16. o yes there is, trottski!

    ah just like the old days

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  17. I think Becks should be in LA doing pre-season - Galaxy should have put their foot down given that they pay his wages but I guess they'll look at the economics of someone else paying him for a few weeks but he is missing vital bonding time with his team-mates

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  18. on a different subject, have you seen that little fat mad crook Septic Splatter has decided that, since he owns football, that the English Prem, Serie A, Bundesliga etc will close for 2 months December/Jan 2022 while his pet WONGA project $$$$$$$$ goes CASH!!!ahead?

    and that half the games wont be in qatar after all but in some other desert nearby. at night.

    and none of this was mentioned during the bidding process because???????

    time we left FIFA to its own mad corrupt devices

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  19. Surely the big four European leagues, England, Spain, Italy and Germany have the the clout to stand up to FIFA. Threaten to boycott the WC and hold their own sub tournament?

    first bit of good news I have heard for a while

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/jan/07/david-chaytor-jailed-mps-expenses

    just 600...ish more to get through then. Got to respect his gumption though, he lied all the way to the end

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  20. Trotts, I am thrusting my chest out as we speak but not sure how it'll help ... no I may not be overly proud of the way we are playing, tho I am sure we can beat Ipswich on Sunday, but there's no point in pretending all is well when it most definitely isn't (I am not a MAn Poo fan after all)

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  21. Oh yes it isn't!?!!!???

    Sorry, I get confused.

    I'm sure this was a great blog, but I'm afraid I don't speak cricket. (my lose)

    Not that it would matter living over here. In Holland the ashes are what you throw away at the end of the night when you empty your ashtrays, not something worth bragging about.

    But to those of you to whom it means something, congratulations.

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  22. Y'know what? I'm all for rescheduling the 2022 WC ...




























    ............... To a country that can host it in the summer, like ever other host has fucking well done so over the years.

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  23. http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/davidbond/2011/01/blatter_expects_winter_world_c.html

    The word 'corruption' is going to have a picture of Blatter's face next to it when they next update the O.E.D.

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  24. Bloody hell.

    Fifa and Septic really are fucking up footy with their totaliterian behaviour, maybe I bettter check out this cricket thingy.

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  25. BLUEHELLSBELLS said...
    Trotts, I am thrusting my chest out as we speak but not sure how it'll help
    -----------

    it won't but it will likely cheer up any chaps in teh immediate vicinity

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  26. adampsb said...
    BLUEHELLSBELLS said...
    Trotts, I am thrusting my chest out as we speak but not sure how it'll help
    -----------

    it won't but it will likely cheer up any chaps in teh immediate vicinity

    --------------------------------------

    Not so sure about that, more of a sunken chest than a treasure chest - ooh aah me hearties and other pirate type speak

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  27. Good blog Robbo.

    think Keane will do a good job at Boro?

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  28. Bolton manager Owen Coyle has emerged as a surprise contender for the Liverpool job.
    Full story: Daily Express
    -----
    Why would he want to make a step down?

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  29. Spit, how's about Keane for L'pooh.

    That would put the cat amongst the pidgoens.

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  30. thats a great idea H.

    Keane for L'pool with soon to be retiring G. nevile as assistant.

    Cant imagine anything going wrong.

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  31. Dalgleish to take over from Fergie, with Stevie G as his assitant.

    Sorted.

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  32. with Kevin Keegan as talent scout?

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  33. Dr Kervochian as fitness coach.

    Bye bye Owens

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  34. Be the best Liverpool management team ever (from United's point of view) - secreta gents take you to League 2

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  35. Am off now - more wine to drink. (H2 your theory must be right I drunk a reasonable amount over Xmas and was not even troubled by a sniffle, let alone the killer flu Bloggy was suffering from, so keep on with the beer).

    Have great weekend everyone and good luck to your teams (except for you Jacks if you are lurking)

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  36. Cheers 'Bells.

    I now feel a bit like Mel Gibson, not the real life drunk driving anti semetic one, but the one in the film about the guy who spoated all those conspiricy theory nonsense, but actually had one right.

    Hooray for me!!!

    I think I might start a new website or publish a magazine; "Binge drinking to stay healthy" a radical new lifestyle choice.

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  37. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/b/birmingham_city/9349874.stm

    That's one DB out, will you get the older, shinier version in now?

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  38. blimey, aftr 6 hours driving in th snow for a 45 minute meting, there's nowt bttr than coming back hr for a good chuckle, I still hav an intrmittent 'e' issue then!

    I'm with you on th cricket H. I was house cricket captain at school and enjoyed playing it but that's where it ended. I once carried me bat mind. We left the pub one sunday lunch time and I'd had too much beer to run around in the field so I volunteered to be keeper and as pads were in short supply I kept them on and opened the batting. We won easily and I was undefeated having sobered up slightly during their batting. That was my last time at the crease.

    Getting sun stroke and alcohol poisoning at Old Trafford circa '83 was my highlight as a specky. There seems to be a theme to my cricketing experience, wait, H, maybe cricket's alright after all, beer and sun?

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  39. cricket and beer together have a quality of perfection I'm sure its why the cherubim and seraphim sing with eternal ecstatic delight - they're playing cricket up there and the bars open

    I've always played when I can which is twice a year now. my boys came along to watch the last game. I took two wicket with consecutive balls. I'm on a hat trick. Please remember at this point that I've spent most of the last decade watching these three wee fuckers playing football and this is the FIRST time theyve seen me play any game any sport..... I look to the boundary. About to bowl a hat trick ball. Guess what. THEY'RE PLAYING FOOTBALL.

    so I stopped the cricket, marched over to the boundary reminded them of their responsibilities. bowed the next ball and........

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  40. nice story blog, you'll be reminding them of that one until you breathe your last.

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  41. 'ello 'ello 'ello!!!

    A good new year to all! Especially those at Old Trafford. No not Liverpool on Sunday!!

    Shame Keane has gone as it was great seeing Jacks react soooo badly to those 5 letters!!

    Avram, well he has about a week left.

    Old Woy, disappointingly will lose his Job on Sunday evening.

    My visits wil be far less frequent on here (Brilliant news I hear you say) due to work commitments.

    Well done to England in Oz. Fuck Yeah!!!!

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  42. eh, that reminds me, spaking of Ipswich, Paul Mariner was on our tele last night, gather he's taken a coaching job in the USofA.

    Don't ngo ngog!

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  43. Hey Trotts mate.

    You slightly worried Owen Coyle might do an Owen Coyle and go to Liverpool?

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  44. judas bastard, nah, I'm not worried at all. I hear Kenny Dalglish speaks 7 languages and Owen only 6 so he'll nevr get the job. Besids that, Big Sam's available!

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  45. and, what's more, as there's 2 'e's in his name, I'd be happir with a managr that is 'e' less anyway.

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  46. Are those 7 languages:
    English
    Jock
    Scouse
    Foreign
    Bullshit
    Makaton (calm down calm down)
    Mumbling

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  47. Ello Trotts, happy new year ngog

    Paul mariner ..wasn't that him doing backstroke in Jaws?

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  48. just when you thought it was safe to pass water

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  49. he wears specs now so his nose looks smaller.

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  50. Great blog to start the new year with Robbo. I reckon Shane Watson comes out of this series with a bit of credit. Yeah, he was involved in 3 run outs, but he was a pretty much guarrantted 50 runs, and was the only top order batsman to offer any kind of resistance. Got some important wickets too. Be interesting to watch the 20/20 games - the likes of Warner, White, Voges to come into the team and a lot of the deadwood of Clarke, Ponting, Hilfenhaus to get out of it. Should be a little more of a contest anyhow.

    My memories of playing cricket aren't as good as yours blogs - I just remember that getting hit by the ball bloody hurt. Having said that, I once top scored for my school with a score of 3. We were bowled out for 10, and I got 3 of them. The opposition took less than an over to beat our score.

    I'm not sure what to think about the Becks loan. I think he may offer the lads something in training and maybe give a rest to others (Bale, Modric, Lennon and VDV can't go on all season), but I also worry that he'll be a huge distraction and unsettle the team. Looks like he's coming anyhow, so we'll just have to wait and see. It's not like 'Arry has given us reason to doubt him since he's been at WHL so I'll just have to trust that he knows what he's doing.

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  51. And more to the point - what number is he going to wear if he does come? His beloved 23 is Cudicini's, his old number 7 is Lennon's, and his reverse 23 that he wore at AC, 32, is Assou-Ekoto's.

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  52. Yeeesssssssss, stick it up your arse Australia, we thrashed the pants off yuh, excellent.

    Can't believe Woy and Avi are still in employment - Scousers, what about Stevie G as player-manager with Dalglish as the director of being Scottish?

    Carra could complete the new version of the famous Anfield bootroom, works for me

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  53. A cracking IPL auction underway. Unforunately Mumbai Indians seem to have run out of cash to buy marquee players. Hope the buys made so far Symonds and Rohit Sjarma prove to be good.

    Morning all.

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  54. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-12141153

    lol what a twat.

    Morning all :)

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  55. Woy Ahoy.

    Manager Roy Hodgson has left Liverpool with mutual consent. Dalglish to the rescue...

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/l/liverpool/9350630.stm

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  56. So it Leeds up against the Gunners...

    Lets stuff em.

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  57. I like Liverpool But! They blamed the owners and got rid of them, then blame the manager and got rid and now brought back a playing legend as the Messiah. Newcastle/Delusion anyone?

    Blackpool to stuff them!!!!!!!!

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  58. There's a touch of Steven Ireland about that one Star. Except he might do some time though.

    Looks like Bex might be on the way to WHL. I reckon it might just be to promote the brand? What do ya think?

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  59. Bendtner on the wing, not working very well to be honest.

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  60. Losing at home to Leeds. This shit got serious.

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  61. So Hodgeson's gone then .... so what's going to happen when the team continues to play shit under their equivalent of God then?

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  62. Arshavin has had an absolute stinker of a game.

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  63. My sister's going nuts on FB swearing about Arsenal losing ... thing is her other half is a Leeds fan so I expect he's sitting in a chair smirking as he drinks a beer.

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  64. Conclusions from this game: Denilson, Arshavin are not good enough and not interested enough to be anyway near the team.

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  65. Here's a question: What has Sorensen done to end up playing second fiddle at Stoke? I was under the impression that he was a seriously good GK.

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  66. Bendtner .... what a useless prick.

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  67. Saved from disgraceful exit.Denilson, Arshavin and Bendtner had a fuckall game.

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  68. 1:1 and thank fuck for that.

    Seriously though, Schmeichel is fine keeper. He's got that rare calmness about him.

    Why didnt we sign him when we had the chance, only fuck knows?

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  69. Obviously, any day you dont lose to Leeds and Milwall get beaten at home is good day.

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  70. G'day all

    OK, we were sloppy, over confident and at times arrogant. Whenever a gunner found himself in the Leeds half he tried out a party trick and generally failed miserably. the only starter that came out of that game with any sort of credibility was Djourou... the rest we should look to sell off in the January transfer window or at best banish to the reserves until next season starts.

    The great dane is as useless as tits on a nun... Asharvin is in such poor form he is beginning to resemble the great dane mentioned earlier. Rosicky, well he is Rosicky say no more. The others don't even rate a mention.

    Other than that it was an interesting game.

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  71. .... and we deserved to lose the bloody game, we were shite.

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  72. Spitfire said...

    1:1 and thank fuck for that.

    Seriously though, Schmeichel is fine keeper. He's got that rare calmness about him.

    Why didnt we sign him when we had the chance, only fuck knows?
    -------------------------------------

    Hate to brag but I did suggest him a while back. He was what £1.5 million or thereabouts so it wasn't like Arsene had to break the bank for him.

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  73. I can remember my first game of cricket for the school team... never got top bowl but when it was my turn to bat, I faced up to a spinner, went down the wicket to try to get it on the full, missed the fucking ball altogether and was unceremoniously bowled... it was another half dozen games before I was selected again.

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  74. Nah he went and squandered god knows on Squillaci and Koscielny instead, Star.

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  75. So much for a Kentish Cupset. Dover are 2 down already :(

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  76. You tried woy...full credit for that..but about fucking time you left...hope you do well wherever you go.

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  77. It seems we will be playing 2 games per week now if we manage to continue our good run in FA CUP and win our next against Ipswich.

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  78. I can already hear Arsene moaning about a fixture pileup SS11

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  79. Looks like Hughes has got Fulham running and scoring goals now. Thank frak he waited till after they came to WHL lol.

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  80. Another proud day to be a Smoggie I see ...

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  81. hard luck York, you could have been in the final this year if you'd just avoided Bolton in the draw. The white rose county will now be represented by Leeds!

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  82. Kin ell it's a shite day for Teeside ... Middlesbrough and Sunderland are out and Newcastle are 2 down against Stevenage.

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  83. And Tiote's got his marching orders ... game set and match Stevenage methinks.

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  84. 2 goals and a man down.

    I take it Newcastle wont be doing the famous comeback they did at WHL when 3:0 down, they won 3:4.

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  85. When they were at 2:1 maybe, but 5 seconds later and now 3:1 down, nope.

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  86. 3:1 ft .... whoops.


    Pardew out?

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  87. and if Mancs win, will Dalglish get the boot?

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  88. I suppose Dalglish has the luxury of being able to turn round and say he's only performing a caretaker role if things continue to go tits up at Liverpool Trotts.

    As Shearer proved at Newcastle even God can fail if he's got shit to work with. Mind Pool do at least seem to have an owner who hasn't been taken by the breeze of insanity any more.

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  89. of course you're right Star, KD will probably assemble a new 'boot room' which would be a good thing for Liverpool and make succession planning easy (unless he goes back to the chicken shack).

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  90. Some wise words from Mark Lawro Lawrenson:

    "The thing for Kenny will be to try and win as many games as possible between now and the end of the season."

    My God, he's good ain't he?

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  91. After 19 years at the top, Manchester United's Gary Neville has revealed that he will retire at the end of the season.
    ====================================================

    That's a bit of bad news for non-Un**ed supporters.

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  92. Avram Grant has told West Ham's owners he needs more transfer cash to pull the club out of relegation danger.
    ==================================================

    Maybe the West Ham owners should tell Grant they need a manager that can pull the club out of relegation danger.

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  93. The O's have booked a place in round 4 of the FA cup with a fortunate 1-0 win against Norwich at Carrow Road.

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  94. Given how many prem teams are out of the FA cup and even Arsenal squeaking a replay I am starting to brick it in the hours before out match with Charlton.

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  95. Hodgson will be handed a £7.5m pay-off from Liverpool despite only spending six months in the job.

    --------------------------------

    Jesus Christ that's a lot of money for six months' work. Add that to the who knows how many millions they paid to sack Benitez.

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  96. Re Woys departure

    Am I right in thinking that at the time LFC, the Fans and the Media were are clamouring for him being the right person to take over. That soon changed esp the fans, and the king with a knife in his hand

    Bad signings and average squad players (most of which were RAFAs signings) together with Woys not understanding the Pool psyche, only 3 top players( 2 of which are half fit), bad subbing etc, It was inevitable

    Yes the crowds will flock back for King Kenny, maybe play well for a couple of games, but mediocrity will set in again, with the liklihood that the top3 will want to depart in the summer for fresh challenges

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  97. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_prem/9331809.stm
    -----------------------------------

    I think things might actually work out better this way. He gets to stretch his legs and keep sharp for the MLS season but he doesn't mess up what I think is a fantastic midfield.

    He'll also be around to impart a bit of advice here and there for the team that might make a difference.

    As for the insurance issue, I'm assuming that's because of the fact he went out on loan last year and busted his Achilles.

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  98. Tottenham: Cudicini, Corluka, Bassong, Dawson, Assou-Ekotto, Kranjcar, Palacios, Sandro, Townsend, Pavlyuchenko, Defoe.
    Subs: Pletikosa, Hutton, Lennon, Jenas, Van der Vaart, Modric.

    -----------------------------------

    Not a bad compromise. Cudicini's a dependable goalie, we've got a good back 4 and Defoe gets some match practice after his ban.

    Good thing is we've got some firepower on the bench if things go awry even with the fact Bale's got the day off.

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  99. Penalty and goal to United already.

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  100. Noel said...
    Some wise words from Mark Lawro Lawrenson:

    "The thing for Kenny will be to try and win as many games as possible between now and the end of the season."

    My God, he's good ain't he?

    ---------------------------------
    Mornin' Lads

    I'm going to have to start paying more attention to Lawro, he's a fuckin' genius and thanks Noel for pointing this out.

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  101. Stevie G sent off. Its all very easy for Man U now. King Kenny not winning on his return.

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  102. Gerrard ... what a clown. You can't do those sort of tackles any more.

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  103. Also what kind of ref is Webb. He didnt give red to a Kung Fu kick in WC Final. Yet produces a red in derby between ManU and Liverpool in FA Cup 3rd round.

    Not sure who's the bigger clown amongst Gerrard and Webb!?!?

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  104. Did the Refs association advise club managers that if a players lunges into a tackle with feet off the ground, then youre gonna get sent off.

    And did managers coach their players not to do it

    there were 1 or 2 similar yesterday

    Those are the rules

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  105. SS11
    the more you watch it, the more it was red

    and yes I agree about the WCF, but most definitely SG is the clown

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  106. Absolutely tone, no debates on that. St.Gerrard deserved the red card.

    But no fun to watch the match anymore now. Liverpool have just bared their butt and asking Un**ed to kick them as hard as they can.

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  107. Wasnt a great first half anyway

    I can only see IOU going on to win 3-0

    Wonder if SG was still in the dressing room when Kenny walked in

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  108. Fine way to play your debut game Townsend. 1-0 up now :)

    Someone remind me where the fuck we got him from ...

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  109. Kin ell we've found out shooting boots now. just made it 3-0. No surprise we're scoring as Modric took to the pitch for the start of the second half.

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  110. 3 Goals in 10 minutes and then back to cruising it seems for Spurs. Oh well, whatever wins the match.

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  111. Job done. Lovely. Now to sit on the live text until they make the draw for the 4th round in a few minutes.

    Watch us get drawn against United.

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  112. Draw's up.

    Spurs away to Fulham, Arsenal/Leeds v Huddersfield

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  113. Wow Hart is in fact human. He made a mistake for that second goal of Leicester's.

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  114. The Football Association has opened an investigation after Liverpool winger Ryan Babel posted a digitally altered picture on Twitter of referee Howard Webb wearing a Manchester United shirt.

    ----------------------------------

    I can understand him and others being pissed off with Webb but doing that is asking for trouble. What a moron.

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  115. Winger Theo Walcott has admitted diving in an attempt to rescue Arsenal from an FA Cup defeat against Leeds United.

    ========================================================

    Not much of an admission when even blind Freddy saw it. Mind you that was for the first one... the penalty that was given was a genuine penalty.

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  116. its a bit of a trend star - what did you think of glen Johnson laying into Paul merson on Twitter?

    He took down the comments..ie merson can't judge me he was average, a drug abuser and a drunk.

    thought it was fair comment personally. trouble is he represents a club who want to project a professional image which ain't easy with a playing staff of bored half wits loitering on smart phones

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  117. "But anything can happen at 1-0. The FA Cup is riddled with it."
    ====================================================

    It is well that we humans are able to add meaning to what we read, otherwise how the fuck would we ever be able to understand Fergie.

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  118. You'd have thought by now sports personalities and Twitter seldom mix. I mean how many times have we seen footballers, cricketers and the like mouth off only to get themselves in trouble on it?

    As for Glen Johnson ... well Merson had a point, his game is complete shite. Oh well these overpaid berks have to entertain us somehow given many fail to do so on the pitch ...

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  119. So another poor performance by a Ref ruins what could have been a decent game of football.

    Not helped by the petulant and senseless display by the England captain.

    ReplyDelete
  120. And on Johnson and Merson:

    As mentioned earlier on this blog, Johnson has the potential to be a decent right winger but as he is playing as a right back (technicall ya defender lest you forget) his game really is Shite.

    There might have been a couple of exceptions to prove the rule.

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  121. Newcastle manager Sol Campbell could be in line for a remarkable third spell with Arsenal as he is unhappy at a lack of first-team action with the Magpies.

    -------------------------------

    lol @ the BBC ... so that's why he's not been playing this season ...

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  122. A Few points re the game -

    Gerrards tackle was a reckjess lunge and could have resulted in a serious injury so he deserved to be sent off.

    Penalty was soft but as a United fan I'm not complaining

    I thought second half teh gamne balanced quite well in terms of possession although United had the better chances.

    Kelly is a far better right back than Glenn Johnson and should keep his place in team as should Agger.

    Very good cup-tie with a great result.

    As for Hodgson's sacking his main problem seems to be one of outward charisma in that he doesn't display any outwardly and he doesn't do teh quiet thing as well as Wenger does.

    He ssemed to look tired and depressed for the last few matches and it is probably to the benefit of teh long term health of both parties that he goes.

    Kenny is a good manager but I think eventually the stress will get to him the way it did at Liverpool and Blackburn before (a 4-4 draw next week should do the trick) but short-term he is a godo option especially as he will know which academy players to bring through and how quickly

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  123. agree Adam, hodgson projects all the vitality and enthusiasm of a lollipop lady

    he'd have us believe he's a baby seal clubbed on the ice by foreign owners but really he's a wasp who drowned in the jam

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  124. Hilfenhaus is German for Helphouse! Good knows they need it!

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  125. Anyone know what Brick Shithouse translates to in German? Because that's what the Aussies really need in their side right now.

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  126. I don't know where you go to get your analogies blog, but they're always first class!

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  127. thanx Noel, I get them by the dozen from Analogies R Us

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  128. I suppose "help house" would be where the Aussies need to go.

    On the German note, Schweinsteiger translates as "pig climber". Or, if you prefer:

    "Ah Herr Pigshagger! Good to see you".

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  129. mornin' Lads,

    Blog, is that an on-line store or a retail outlet? Noel's right, some of yours are priceless.

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  130. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/a/aldershot/9354514.stm
    -------------
    Wonder how RBA is reacting!

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  131. India lost 4-0 to Australia in Asia Cup. 2 goals scored by Tim Cahill, 1 by Harry Kewell, 1 by Brett Holman.

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  132. Harry Kewell's still playing? I'm surprised Woy didnt sign him last summer.
    --------------------------------
    tone1947 said...
    Re Woys departure

    Yes the crowds will flock back for King Kenny, maybe play well for a couple of games, but mediocrity will set in again, with the liklihood that the top3 will want to depart in the summer for fresh challenges
    ---------------------------------------------

    Reina and Nando will go for sure..they have too much quality to miss out on CL action 2 years in a row..there's still a 50-50 chance that st stevie will stay as age is catching up with him and he may choose to end his career continuing to be big fish in small pond.
    I think the crowds will come in even if these 3 leave as long as we buy the right players and show the attitude on the pitch which indicates we are in the process of rebuilding and will be challenging for honours in the next 3-4 years. That's where Woy failed.

    ReplyDelete
  133. I guess RBA must be disappointed that their top striker has been put up for sale and the manager has left.

    Not the news you wan to hear while expecting a promotion campaign

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  134. So beckham is at WHL for trainig, now look who is coming to town, a cheating frenchman

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/a/arsenal/9354370.stm

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  135. Howdy Doody.

    I thought the IOU v Pooh game was horrible, after the penalty and sending off it was over as a contest, Pooh were plucky and did well to keep the score at 1-0, but I don't think Manure really tried, it was like all their players (except Giggs) had been injected with a dose of Berbatov.

    I did however enjoy the Leicester v Citeh game, much more of a real honest to goodness cup tie. I did have to laugh when at 2-2 Mancini's Italianness got the better of him and he took off a striker (well, eh, Jo, striker/complete waste of space) and replaced him with a defender. Could that coach be more negative? A good result for old Sven, expect his name to be linked with many PL jobs in the close future.

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  136. As for Woy, well he's been a dead man walking for ages, to be honest the poor guy never really stood a chance. The fans didn't really want him and once the club changed hands he was always going to be seen as the previous' regimes guy.

    Now the fans have got their way, the nasty old Gillet and Hicks have been outed and King Ken has returned to his throne and all shall be right in Scallyville........

    Or will it???

    I'm not so sure. The players look tired and even worse, some look totally disinterested and the rest just aren't good enough. Over the last few years they have been classed by many as a two man team, now they're not even that. Stevie's getting on a bit and I think a vampire has biten Torres and stole his soul, he looks completly lifeless and is not even a glimmer of a shadow of the player he was. In fact, ever since his hair turned dark, so has his game.

    My advice to Kenny would be to pop down to the local Chemist and get some peroxide to sort out Nando's barnet. Unfortunatly I can't think of a cure for Johnson, but I would srart by taking away his phone, he really has put the twit back into Twitter, the twat.

    It's gonna be a hard road ahead for L'pool, but let's spare a thought for their fans. Everything they've wanted over the last year has come to pass, the Yanks are out replaced by better, new improved Yanks and ol' Woy has got the chop and the Messiah haseth returned............

    Who the hell are they gonna blame from now on?

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  137. Think Johnson thought Twitter is the body part between the Twat and the Shitter.

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  138. If that's true Spit, then why hasn't he pulled his finger out?

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  139. Ah but not to be out done on the Twatter front we have the business of Ngog forwarding that pic of Webb photomanip'd into a united shirt.

    Not one of his cleverer ideas that.

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  140. I see King Henry (the irish have been twice tormented by an Henry with french roots, when will they ever learn) is back at Arsenal.

    Can he please teach the current lot of useless strikers how to shoot.

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  141. I have actually rethunk my opinion of hte penalty.

    It was Berbatov who cheated Webb into making a wrong decision. And its FIFA whose fault it is that Webb isnt allowed to consult video evidence.



    Incidently, anyone else notice Dalglish checking out a replay during the game? Has anyone ever seen a tv in the dugout ever before?????

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  142. spits the last time I mistook someone's perineum for a social network site I was arrested

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  143. I saw that Spit, and I've seen it before, quite often actually. The 4th offical has one too, making the decision that video technology may not be used even more ridiculous.

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  144. so here's the pic Babel posted on twitter

    http://www.offthepost.info/wp-content/uploads/x2_41b7a07.jpg

    what i want to ask is, why isnt anyone berating Webb for doing the Hitler salute?

    The git.

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  145. and I dont get the whole excuse that its not possible to have video technology at all levels ofthe game.

    well, then dont.

    Coz we aint looking at replays of a sunday league clash and swearing at the ref coz he missed a fucking hand ball.

    for the matches where th ecamers are following each and every dick on field and each and every tit in the stands, DO USE IT.

    takes a second empowers the Refs into making brave calls.


    anyone see the way Aleem Dar (the only pakistani with some dignity in cricket it would seem) conduct himself in face of all the abuse from punter?

    ReplyDelete
  146. H2H quality post mate
    Who will they blame? lpool fans have a Sarah Palin style website with crosshairs across the faces of potential scapegoats all the way down to #347 - ball boy

    ReplyDelete
  147. he was watching the simpsons in the dug out

    oh no thats me I'm watching the simpsons

    he was surfing Wikipedia for "team tactics in soccer when losing and out of your depth as a manager"

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  148. Yes. Even I noticed the TV set in dugout. Is it allowed for managers to have such facilities?

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  149. anyone else notice Jenny using the bidet in the corner of the dugout?

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  150. Cheers Bloggy, high praise indeed.

    Arsenal have the Goonersaurus, Tottenham have a cock (tee hee) England have the 3 lions, L'pool need to have a scapegoat as their mascot.

    They can dress him in a L'pooh shirt with an Uncle Sam style top hat and the crowd can hurl abuse at it before the games and during the half time breaks.

    You'll never moan alone!!

    Re tv screen in dug out. It was Sunday, maybe he was watching the Eastenders omnibus.

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  151. vale have a piece of rope to hang yourself with

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  152. I hope Kenny does well. I hope he resurrects Liverpool into a forc to be reckoned with using good old fashioned common sense and the very simple "pass, move and support your fuckin' team mates you stupid twat" philosophy that has been proven successful for decades. He was one of the best players I ever watched with regularity and has one of the best CV's in the game as a player and manager. And Tommy Onion, if you're still reading Robbo, I told ya... and Rafa's contract still has three years to run!

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  153. I couldn't agree more H2, Hodgson never really had a chance at Liverpool. He inherited a dispirited team made up mostly of Rafa's mistakes. The fans were never going to accept him with King Kenny hovering in the background like Brutus' best friend. I guess he should not have accepted the job in the first place but there would be very few managers that would turn down the opportunity of managing Liverpool.

    I also would like to see Liverpool rise again but I wont complain too much if it takes another 5-10 years.

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  154. Anyone remember the time when Liverpool won EVERYTHING. Like fucking EVERYTHING?


    Like Bo said. Would hate to see a club go bust but there are a lot of fans out there who believe their club DESERVES to win anything and everything every year.

    dont mind them tasting dirt for a while to get them to their senses.

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  155. And the bastards were are responsible for getting england kicked out of european competitions because of the vitriol they had in some segments of their fans.

    havent forgiven that either.

    ReplyDelete
  156. 'ello all.

    So will Ipswich get another spanking or is Paul their Jewel in the crown?

    Its shit when I can't check the blog out at work anymore, but that's life.

    ReplyDelete
  157. Anyway lads, keep the comments flowing, speak soon.

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  158. 'ello Ngog.

    Here it is H... http://clothdollsupply.com/prim/MPP47.jpg

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  159. Guten tag.

    Re: the TV's in the dugouts, I beleive that some grounds have them and others don't. I guess it depends on where the TV cameras are set up. Steve Bruce often looks at one at Sunderland, and I think I often saw José looking at one at the Bridge. I may be talking shite mind.

    I think a problem that Liverpool will have is that IF their 3 stars want to leave, then I can't see them getting much money for them. Reina is class, but goalkeepers rarely go for more than 15m, unless an Italian team is buying. Nando looks fucked and has done for 18 months. His body is knackered, although H2H's hair theory may be correct as it correlates nicely with my Rafa's tache theory. And Stevie G is 30, with his best seasons behind him. I think they may get 50m for the three of them, and that will only buy one or two top players. I think that will lead to them buying more mediocre players and struggling further. Having said that, Commolli unearthed some gems at Spurs, but it took them 3 or 4 seasons to develop their potential. All-in-all, I see Liverpool struggling for 5 years or more IF their best players leave.

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  160. I bear lpool no ill will no nor good will neither but I note the absence of debate about Jim gannons prospects, prem narcissists

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  161. hey, I was thinking about Gammon the other day, I just had a yearning for a nice thick slab with a pineapple slice on top.

    An analogy app, what's that then? Can you give me an analogy?

    FBH, where are ya? What's this centre back like that we might be getting from Boro? Probably signals the departure of Cahill but another 11 points and we'll be safe so we can struggle through.

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  162. David Wheater was close to the England squad at one point I think Trotts. He's your typical big, no frills centre back - a bit like Dawson or Huth I guess. Nowt special, but dependable type.

    Blog, I'm afraid that I am a Prem narcassist. I did use to keep an eye on Wolves as my second team, but then they went and got promoted. Next season, I'll probably have to keep an eye on the Championship too.

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  163. Just on the BBC site Robbo, and they may be regretting letting you go. There's a blog on there titled 'Robson ready to shine in 2011'. Apparently you're 'a British star who is set for a big year under your new coach'. She must be hot if you're going to spend all year under her.

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  164. Blogs, I believe that Jim Gannon is happy with Vale prospects. If he's happy then so am I.

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  165. Bo, I hear that some berk has been playing with matches over in Perth. Hope you're safe away from the fires. What the hell is happening over here???! Fires near Perth, severe storms in Melbourne (although every time I've been to Melbourne, the weather has been shite), inland tsunamis in Queensland. I'm blowing up my armbands just in case.

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  166. Liverpool will be fine you lot of doomsayers..:)..we may not win much in the next 2-3 years, but we havent won much in the past 20 either, so we should be good. Atleast we're debt free and with some money to buy promising young players. Hope runs eternal.

    Speaking of which, what happens to Stevie now that he has a red card in the FA cup and pool are out of the cup? does that apply to the league then and rule him out of contention for the blackpool game on weds? Just when i thought my 17 pt lead over Spits would see me through, I might lose my captain..aaarghhhhhhh.

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  167. Noel said...
    David Wheater was close to the England squad at one point I think Trotts.
    -----------------------------
    Is he a pimp?

    ReplyDelete
  168. Noel, every year we get these pricks that go out and light fires, every year the pollies raise the penalties for lighting them and every year the judges fail to hit these aresholes with the full force of the law when they are caught. Go figure.

    ReplyDelete
  169. TrotterUSA said...
    Noel said...
    David Wheater was close to the England squad at one point I think Trotts.
    -----------------------------
    Is he a pimp?
    -----------------------------
    Alledgedly.

    The Aussies are wheeling out the big guns for the one dayers I see. Shaun Tait, Brett Lee, Nathan Hauritz finally gets a game, Dougie Bollinger.

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  170. Noel said...

    Just on the BBC site Robbo, and they may be regretting letting you go. There's a blog on there titled 'Robson ready to shine in 2011'. Apparently you're 'a British star who is set for a big year under your new coach'.
    -----------------------------------------------

    Boy, the beeb let go of real quality there...

    http://yourdailytipsandtrickswiki.blogspot.com

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  171. there's a weekly bring back Robbo campaign on special1tv

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  172. Trotts you're a loose gannon on here you are mate

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  173. great win for creepy last night v Derby how can you lose with a strike force of Torres and Tubbs?

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  174. blummin eck robbos off to china, to meet the other international sport blogging jet setters at their annual chinese takeaway (?)

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  175. if like me you are stuck at werk somewhere in deepest dampest greyest obscurest england thinking, why arent i an international jet setting blogger, spare a thought for Bo and Noel who have floods on one side and fire on the other - gods just punishment of lonely outback sheep farmers

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  176. Tubbs for England!

    lets protest against the next two world cups by selecting teams of comedy-named non-performers (i know, how would you know the difference) who perform like eddie the eagle, with stuart hall commentating :

    "ha ha ha Tubbs has fallen over and now he cant get up hahahaahahaha....oh now Numpty and Twerp have bumped into each other and its 15-0 to the Faroe Islands hahahahaaha"

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  177. I appreciate your kind and in no way sarcastic thoughts blogs.

    No smoke without fire: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/9355306.stm

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  178. noel - sarcastique, moi?

    interesting article, that, there was a link on there to this one which suggests legal and political opposition is growing to these crooks.
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/9300904.stm

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  179. im pleased the Home Internationals are back on.

    but england can only lose, really, cant they?

    ReplyDelete
  180. is messi a beatles fan or does his mum still cut his hair with a pudding basin?

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  181. The last 10 finals have produced perhaps one decent game, and the last 15 just one winner from outside the traditional ‘Big Four’, although whether Liverpool can still claim membership of that group despite being the footballing equivalent of the bathtub rolling down the hill in Last of the Summer Wine is a point of some debate.

    -heehee Jon Lieuw on the FA cup

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  182. he must have that analogies app

    ReplyDelete
  183. blogdignag said...

    interesting article, that, there was a link on there to this one which suggests legal and political opposition is growing to these crooks.
    ------------------------------------------------
    I'm all for any opposition to Garth Crooks. He's a right twat.

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  184. mornin' Lads,

    This long sighted, hard of hearing, analogy app is working great but who the heck is Lou Scannon?

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  185. Lou! everyone knows Lou, trott. His son was in a band called Muzz Loaded and he married one of the Bofors girls. you know, Lou, trott, he's the old bloke with an ear trumpet and explosive temper who walks around bolton in a daze picking fights with strangers. he's got a dog on a piece of string called Bombshell who looks like mutley. Lou - invented tippex but lost his money on a greyhound. Lou!

    ReplyDelete