Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Give That Man a Sainthood!

I think it’s official. Kenny Dalglish is the purest manifestation of the Divine. Soon Scousers will be flocking to the unveiling of a plaque in Dalmarnock reading ‘Kenneth Mathieson Dalglish, footballer, manager, seraph, was born here.’ Certainly, there’s not a bloke from the red half of Mersey side who wouldn’t happily allow King Kenny to larrup them with a carpet beater after Sunday’s 3-1 win.

Get thee behind me Satan

I can’t say I wasn’t jumping off me seat with every tiddly toe-poke from Kuyt as well. The boyish Dutchman has endeared himself to Koppites with a work-rate that makes your average anthill look like a Top Gear Mexican. There’s always the impression that all that energy doesn’t get converted into owt but to be fair the lad’s been slung out on the right for a couple of seasons doing the Benitez graveyard shift.

Turned out he was an annoying little goal-hanger all along. Heh-heh. ‘Course he wasn’t the star of the show, mind. We’ll give that to the very impressive Luis Suarez. His teeth are in good company: Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, and now this lad with the horse-choppers.

But great footballers aren’t built on their looks – unless you’re my missus, who seems to think David Bentley’s got a lot going for him. This Uruguayan is as slippery as the notoriously difficult to catch Soap Eel. And with Andy Carroll lumbering on to the pitch like summat out of Lord of the Rings things are definitely on the up for Liverpool.

Dalglish compounded that feeling by betraying hardly and signs of euphoria during his post-match interview. If you look hard enough you can see a smirk, but downplaying such a victory is a masterstroke. Or maybe it’s just a tad honest.

Man U were crap. Three defeats in five and you can’t say it hasn’t been coming. If you take player of the season thus far, Nemanja Vidic, out of the defence there’s not a lot there. A nasty little nerk in front of the back four might’ve helped. It reminded you of why Nicky Butt got his fair share of games for United, and Fletcher must’ve been gnawing his arm off on the bench just waiting to get into the likes of Suarez and Meireles.

Not that there wasn’t even malice out on display. Jamie Carragher’s challenge on Nani was plain evil. Even so, Nani didn’t make things better for himself by recovering enough to sprint after the ref before tumbling to the floor again as the second wave of agony kicked in. Is this what passes as acting in Lisbon? I bet the Portuguese version of Casualty is a veritable orgy of howls and writhes and heads in hands.

Look it's Portugal's top drama queen taking a break from diving practice

To be fair Nani is out for three games now, Carra’s karate kick was as bad as it looked. It’s that when Nani goes down he usually gets the Drogba treatment – someone scuttles on with a magic sponge, the poor victim hobbles to the touchline in a parody of a victim of trench warfare and five minutes later the bleeder’s tormenting the back four as if Jesus Christ himself was the club physio.

Fabael or Rafio or whatever that pre-school doppelganger’s name is had a flying hack at Skrtel n all and my favourite bit of the match followed as the two teams clustered together in a post-closing time pub car-park melee while Dowd stood there with his arms folded like a quietly exasperated father of twenty-two. At least Phil was even-handed in his generosity.

Dowd wasn’t the only ref to get it in the neck this weekend. We had the usual gleeful brains trust review of decisions by Clattenburg, Halsey and the officials at the Emirates. As usual we get the pundits and the managers hollering for ‘consistency’.

Be nice if the managers heeded their own advice. Arshavin’s disallowed effort at Arsenal was mentioned to Steve Bruce who more or less said it was brilliant that the bloke had got it wrong. When the boot’s on the other foot Bruce always does that double-speak tosh of saying ‘I hate criticising officials but...’

Meanwhile Holloway and McCarthy showed a deeper understanding of the travails of the ref – Big Mick admitting that he might just’ve felt less charitable if Halsey’s decision to deny Stearman a very legitimate goal had proved terminal.

But the thing is, as some wiseacre put it on the 5Live phone-in, you look at the Footy Rulebook and it says ad nauseam ‘in the referee’s opinion’. That’s how decisions are made. And too many times the frigging imbeciles of post-match analysis forget that a ref – and as far as I can tell they seem like a decent bunch of blokes apart from that lass who knows the offside law better than Captain Caveman and Andy Gray – has only one view of the incident.

If you listen to a lot of them you’d believe that a ref was capable of the sort of visual pyrotechnics you get in Inception. (I watched that last weekend. It’s bleeding potty isn’t it? Like In the Night Garden for grown-ups. Although there are several regular boozers in the Blue Bell who believe In The Night Garden is for grown-ups.)

Here's David Cameron looky-likey Iggle Piggle wondering how it is Mark Clattenburg can live with himself

Ferguson’s post-match comments after the Anfield debacle were among his most lucid of the past three or four weeks. In fact it’s a policy he should stick to. Martin Atkinson might agree. The notion that Atkinson is neither strong nor fair is tantamount to slander. The FA should haul Ferguson over the coals. Otherwise we’ll have Rafa Bloody Benitez shuffling into view with his latest dossier and rather than dismiss him as football’s David Icke we’ll have to start paying attention to the beardy conspiracy theorist.

Oh and by the by, I tipped Chelsea for the title in August and I may well be proved right. (And if that doesn’t finish ‘em off nowt will).

438 comments:

  1. Zen and the martians8 March 2011 at 11:06

    First!!!! ever........

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  2. Zen and the martians8 March 2011 at 11:08

    Second!!!! wooohoooo......

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  3. Zen and the martians8 March 2011 at 11:10

    Third!!!! hattrick completed :)

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  4. Fourth (at time of writing) which is where Man Utd are going to end the season!

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  5. BBC: Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola praises Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere but says there are a number of players "like him" in Barcelona's second team.
    ...But not in the first team, how strange to keep your best players in the reserves.
    C'mon Arsenal, let's do this!

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  6. Massive game, it was on the day of the Lord.

    Midway through the second half a Man utd team with Giggs, Scholes, Rooney, Evra et all. looked well beat.

    I havnt witnessed anything like it in years, and by jingo, its a great feeling.

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  7. We had this 2 years ago ...united being destroyed by Liverpool and look how that season turned out.

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  8. Morning all. I must take issue with a couple of things Robbo. First of all you give BHB a pic of a semi-naked Ronaldo to keep her happy but nothing for the boys. And secondly, don't diss In the Night Garden. It's far better than the Teletubbies or bloody strawberry shortcake.

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  9. Time to put the money on Utd for the title now I feel. Nothing will fire them up like a humiliation at the hands of Liverpool.

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  10. Colch - I am sorry but you are obviously not aware of my feelings towards Ronaldo. I do not universally like all things Portuguese, (just Special Ones). Ronaldo I would like to punch within an inch of his life.

    (Robbo, please remove picture immediately otherwise I will be charged with damaging police property)

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  11. Cheers Spits..i kept waking up a seriously pissed off neighbour asking where the party was, till i saw your explanation.

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  12. In the Night Garden is no match for Waybuloo.

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  13. talking of tits, ever wondered how "Boob" is the perfect word. The B looks like an aerial view of them, the 2 o's look like a front view, and the b looks like the side view?

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  14. Pancake day? Load of old crepe if you ask me!

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  15. As long as Chelsea play Torres I can't see a ten man team winning the league!

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  16. I think RBA will agree when I say we should have a national day to commemorate the Pie.

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  17. Ferguson’s post-match comments after the Anfield debacle were among his most lucid of the past three or four weeks.
    ----------
    Hahaha. LoL, Well said Robbo.

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  18. You'd be surprised how popular steak and kidney pancakes are...

    Everydays pie day anyway... it is in our house...

    You all good though star???

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  19. Good stuff Robbo, your prediction for Bolton to finish in the top half is a lot more likely than Chelsea winning it, who'd a thunk it eh.

    Pancakes on a tuesday? never heard of owt so daft.

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  20. Yeah, nowt much changed here RBA. Steadily losing my hair tearing it out each time Spurs finds a way to not try and keep up with the new Big Four and win the league.

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  21. What the hell is a shrove anyway???


    footballs cr@p this year... i'm writing it off now.

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  22. trott,

    nowt wrong with pancakes on a tuesday.

    crepe (banana+nutella+almonds) with weissbier for brekky

    steak+mashed potatoes for lunch

    chicken tikka masala pie for dinner.

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  23. followed by post match vomitting and 40 days and nights of grieving?

    I think having RBA back is more important than having RVP back.

    A shrove is a small onion.

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  24. So if a Shrove's an onion, where the fuck did pancakes come into it?

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  25. shrove: (plural of shrov): according to the urban-dictionary shrov is 'an embarrassingly tiny penis'

    there is obviously no reason whatsoever to be shouting on about such a (tiny) thing, now is it?

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  26. great blog Robbo
    nani drops down faster than a tarts draws
    seems to be genetically deformed wherever he his touched its his head that hurts.
    maybe belongs in a specimen bottle

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  27. Star, when I said a shrove is a small onion, it was just a guess really, I don't have a clue what a shrove is but this might help....

    Shrove Tuesday
    The day before the beginning of Lent is known as Shrove Tuesday. To shrive someone, in old-fashioned English (he shrives, he shrove, he has shriven or he shrives, he shrived, he has shrived), is to hear his acknowledgement of his sins, to assure him of God's forgiveness, and to give him appropriate spiritual advice. The term survives today in ordinary usage in the expression "short shrift". To give someone short shrift is to pay very little attention to his excuses or problems. The longer expression is, "to give him short shrift and a long rope," which formerly meant to hang a criminal with a minimum of delay.

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  28. On Shrove Tuesday, many Christians make a special point of self-examination, of considering what wrongs they need to repent, and what amendments of life or areas of spiritual growth they especially need to ask God's help in dealing with. Often they consult on these matters with a spiritual counselor, or receive shrift.

    Shrove Tuesday is also called Fat Tuesday (in French, Mardi=Tuesday; gras=fat, as in "pate de foie gras", which is liver paste and very fatty), because on that day a thrifty housewife uses up the fats that she has kept around (the can of bacon drippings, or whatever) for cooking, but that she will not be using during Lent. Since pancakes are a standard way of using up fat, the day is also called Pancake Tuesday. In England, and perhaps elsewhere, the day is celebrated with pancake races. The contestants run a course while holding a griddle and flipping a pancake. Points are awarded for time, for number and height of flips, and number of times the pancake turns over. There are of course penalties for dropping the pancake.

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  29. nice going Prof. Trotsky,

    If only you could explain it in a bit detail...

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  30. you'd best hope that Wenger doesn't give 'em all Foie Gras as a pre game meal!

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  31. though some grass may not be such a bad idea to calm any nerves.

    Not Gunther Grass though, he's a bit of a Nazi.

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  32. Trotts - thank you for the low down on Obese Tuesday. I have - not surpprisingly - been repenting all day (I think it was the onion in my sandwich).

    However, I wish to take issue with the line

    'There are of course penalties for dropping the pancake.'

    Is this why us Chavs were awarded one last night, did Evatt actually drop a pancake and not trip Kalou? And what happens during the rest of the year when pancakes are so prevalent on menus?

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  33. Heeeeeeeyyyyy!!! R to da B to da A, wassup broseph!?

    A welcome back SNH5....

    And a jolly good afternoon to all.

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  34. A sp(l)iffingly good afternoon to you H2

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  35. High Bells. Short Shroves. Whats with all the height analogies ?

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  36. wow..the kiwis got a 120 runs in the last 5 overs against Pakistan? Thats unbelievable.

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  37. is a pancake a cake or a biscuit? or is it a kind of useless but edible pan?

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  38. Good stuff Robbo.

    The standard of officiating has spiraled downwards over the last few seasons, yet not all the blame can be laid at the doorstep of the ref's. Once again it's those bastards at FIFA and the non footballing elitists at the FA who should take the majority of the blame.

    It's easy to sit at home or on the pundits couch and review an incident from a thousand diferent angles in full HD, but the ref only has a split second to make a game changing decision. An offside that was or wasn't, the ball over the line, a terrible foul or a piece of Tom Daly artistry, these decisions can not only change the face of a single game, but the entire shape of a season. This weekend alone decisions were made that cost Arsenal and Wolves two points each, for those clubs this could be the difference between winning the title and survival/relegation respectively.

    Football is rapidly becoming a laughing stock in world sports, while other bonds have moved on and embraced new technology for the good of their respective sports the FIFA is stuck in medievel times to the detriment of the game. Even bad decisions televised to a worldwide audience from thier jewel in their crown tournament (World Cup) was not enough to wake them up to the idea that it is time to bring the game into the 21st Century and use the technology that is already available at most grounds. But let's not be too hard on them they did do everything in their power to ban the snood's that were ruining football. (top of the agenda in their last meeting)

    As for the FA, well they're a useless bunch of toss buckets too. The "you can't give retrospective punishment if the ref bla ala bla rule" is a load of crap and is obviously flawed. Carraghers tackle on Nani was disgusting and could of taken his leg off, Nani misses three games, Carragher gets a yellow, where's the justice in that?

    FICK FUFA and the sweet FA aint worth shit.

    Rant over.

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  39. Holloway2Holland said...
    Carraghers tackle on Nani was disgusting and could of taken his leg off, Nani misses three games, Carragher gets a yellow, where's the justice in that?

    -----------------------------------------
    Completely agree. Spl since Nani was teh captain of my FFL and looks like i'll be losing this week by a few points that his staying on for 90 pts would have got me.

    Seriously, though, where is the sense in the "ref saw it from 100 yards away while being blocked by 3 players and gave a stern warning, so we cant do anything against the player that shot his opponent with a Glock .45".

    And now someone (most likely star) is going to tell me there is no such thing as a Glock 45.

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  40. Holloway2Holland said...
    Carraghers tackle on Nani was disgusting and could of taken his leg off, Nani misses three games, Carragher gets a yellow, where's the justice in that?



    Nani's a ManU player?

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  41. Exactly what I'm saying AH. Retrospective punishment has to be brought into effect. We always hear refs are only human and they're bound to make mistakes etc, etc. Well if this is so clearly the case why can't these mistakes be corrected? It would not undermine the ref to dish out punishment later it would just underline the law and maybe cut out some of the cheating if players knew it would be harder to get away with it.

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  42. So what was wrong again, with my suggestion of giving the 4th official a TV and the right to over-rule the on-field refs, if he deems appropriate?

    and it gets around the fifa insistence on a solution that is implementable accross all levels too, no tv-coverage = no-tv.

    then it wont be a controversy either.

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  43. p.s. AH:

    there is a hand-gun called Glock .45 and its a good one too.

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  44. True 'Bells, still even that is not enough to persuade me to change my opinion on horror tackles.

    On the same subject;

    Manchester United winger Nani is unhappy that the club refused to complain publicly about Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher's tackle in Sunday's match that left the Portuguese player with a badly gashed shin. Neither Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson nor any of his players spoke to the media in the wake of the 3-1 defeat.
    Full story: the Guardian

    I think he has a right to be pissed off. Man U have dropped the ball on this. That tackle needed to be condemed, instead all the media are jumping on the fact that Nani was crying instead of the fact that he nearly lost a leg. Sad.

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  45. I am all for retrospective punishment too.

    ban a player for 3 games for diving and make it 6 if it leads to a goal (e.g. free-kick/ penalty)

    same goes for a foul missed or not appropriately punished by the on-field ref.

    repeat offenders get 6 games ban and someone caught 3 times gets to have an extended holiday from the game.

    or summat to that effect.

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  46. H2H,

    Nani could have broken his leg but his case wasnt helped by him getting up, running full speed to the ref, shoving him, and then dropping back to floor like a little girl crying while the elder brother beheaded her barbie doll.

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  47. Biggest match of the season tonight boys: -

    Southend United vs Gillingham.. can't wait as a win will get us back towarsd the play-offs

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  48. I like your retro plan Spit and I agree that Nani being a ninny didn't really help his case. Maybe it was just a kind of headless chicken reaction though, he was obviously hurt and has a gash in his shin to prove it.

    That's enough about that though, I'm starting to feel dirty about supporting IOU players.

    Rafael should of got a red card too and Hutton should not of only been issued a yellow in the Wolves game.

    Ahhhhhhh, that's better.

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  49. After watching as many games this weekend as FSC and ESPN allowed, I started to think about officiating -- and lo and behold, here's a discussion about it. The sport I love most seems to have the most problem with its officiating -- and it's probably not just technology, as in video replays or goal line sensors, but the fact that one guy on the pitch is trying to watch every damn thing that happens -- and the guys on the sidelines are primarily looking for specifics like offsides and out of play balls.

    Sure, American football has more rules and penalties to watch for, but, perhaps because of the number of refs on the field, the calls are usually correct. (Instant replay has brought the most iffy calls into more scrutiny, but even then the ref's call is usually upheld.) Baseball has an ump's judgement call for balls and strikes, but slo-mo video shows the plate umps are very consistent with their calls, and even then can look to a bas ump for clarification. I guess what I'm musing about is wouldn't the possibility of game- and season-changing incorrect calls be lessened if there were more than one official on the pitch? Has it ever been tried? FIFA won't address anything more controversial than snoods, but surely this must have been tried some place, some time.

    Oh, and I thought short shrift was what hrookers wore on the street.

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  50. lfhs,

    the eufa's daft attempt at placing a couple more guys behind the goal isnt really a success is it?

    in my opinion, its just adding to the bottleneck that is human factor in decision making.

    the ref is just one man, arguably less of an athlete than the 22 running circles around him who has to, not only move about the filed in search of the best view of the ball and what happens to it, also has to rule the happenings off of it.

    there is already technology available. there are summat in region of 40 cameras at most top games AND an official present at the field that's just doing nowt much at all.

    i reckon, they deserve the same if not a bit better view of the game than me. (someone with a dodgy link of a HD broadcast of the said game)

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  51. ok, looks like we've just had the weekly hour of people making sense, I blame you for starting it H.

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  52. if it makes sense to you, you are as insane as each one of us.

    welcome to the club.

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  53. ok trott, maybe, but this whole fixate the ref thing misses the point - is a pancake a cake or is it a fuckin biscuit?

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  54. its a cake when it's made but morphs into a biscuit of left to its own over a period of time.

    but why the would you leave it for that long?

    so, I guess we can conclude this one that a pancake is a cake.

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  55. Sorry Trott. It doesn't happen often, maybe because it's pancake day.

    Is there such a thing as a Jaffa Pancake Bloggs? That would really take the biscuit.

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  56. I think it depends if it grows on a tree or a bush.

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  57. you're half right spit, it is a cake - an oatcake re-engineered for southern pooftas

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  58. well of course I am half right, blog, the other half's left.

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  59. al right, I say we celebrate it as 'the international fat women's pancake repenting day' and call it a night.

    who's with me?

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  60. best get it sorted out soon so we can move on to our annual Ash Wednesday discussion.

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  61. Ashtray Wednesday.

    National smoke a lot day.

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  62. Ash Cole Wednesday.

    Bring a gun to work day.

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  63. 'ashcake* Wednesday.

    Special offer in Amsterdam.



    *eat it and you won't give a toss if it's a cake or a buscuit.

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  64. I reckon it's a national piss up day in either Oz or England depending on who won the ashes

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  65. ....and then, when the bride asks what you're doing coming in at 3am with a cricket stump hangin' from yer zipper, you can tell her "it's ashes Wednesday love".

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  66. Subject: Technology.

    After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Australian
    scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and
    came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone
    network more than 150 years ago.

    Not to be outdone by the Aussies, in the weeks that followed, an
    American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet and, shortly after,
    a story was published in the New York Times: "American
    archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have
    concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech
    communications network 50 years earlier than the Australians".

    One week later, the Council in Essex , reported the following:
    "After digging as deep as 30 feet in Colchester, Jack Lucknow, a
    self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely f ***
    all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had
    already gone wireless."
    Just makes you bloody proud to be British.

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  67. I just heard on 5 live that RVP might be starting for Arsenal tonight.

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  68. AnfieldHopeful said...
    wow..the kiwis got a 120 runs in the last 5 overs against Pakistan? Thats unbelievable.

    -------------------------------
    I don't believe that.

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  69. I don't believe you don't believe that Trotts

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  70. unfuckinbelievable you are MR

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  71. off we go, good luck Gooners.

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  72. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/europe/9418672.stm

    ----------------------

    What a fucking wanker. I hope Palacios boots him in the head when we're 3-0 up with a minute to go.

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  73. RvP starts for the Gunners. Looks like you'll have near enough a full strength team now.

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  74. AnfieldHopeful said...
    In the Night Garden is no match for Waybuloo.
    --------------------------------------

    Quite right AH but neither can hold a candle to Fireman Sam. And he probably wouldn't approve of the fire risk if they tried.

    So anyway, who are we supporting in the Champions League tonight then?

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  75. Holloway2Holland said...
    *eat it and you won't give a toss if it's a cake or a buscuit.
    -------------------------------------

    Isn't buscuit the Barcelona centre back H2?

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  76. A lot of the streaming sights for the Arsenal v barca game seem to be closed down. Anyone know one that's up?

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  77. http://www.myp2p.eu/broadcast.php?matchid=107416&part=sports

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  78. It's 18-1 for a 0-0 draw tonight. That's got to worth a couple of quid surely.

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  79. Oh shit .... Chesney's off injured.

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  80. No problem Star. Almunia will have a blinder to silence all his critics. Either that or he'll let a soft shot bobble through his hands in the 90th minute to cost Arsenal the game.

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  81. Almunia's only let in 9 goals in two games at this ground. No pressure then.

    I see barca have the ugly mask on. Dani Alves the shitter in chief

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  82. They may play some great football but they are niggly little twats when it's not going their way. Having said that, Van Persie's challenge on Messi was a little bit naughty.

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  83. What's the difference between Wilshere's challenge and the one by Alves? Both won the ball first and then took the man but Wilshere gets booked and Alves doesn't even give away a free kick.

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  84. This referee is a fucking joke. He can't stop the game coz the guys got a sore leg. Barcelona had the chance to kick the ball out and didn't so why stop the game. Prat.

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  85. ouch..Cesc my good man..what were you thinking..now get on with it and get a hat-trick (or just get through this game without an injury and focus on the PL)

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  86. ColchesterFC said...
    AnfieldHopeful said...
    In the Night Garden is no match for Waybuloo.
    --------------------------------------

    Quite right AH but neither can hold a candle to Fireman Sam. And he probably wouldn't approve of the fire risk if they tried.

    -----------------------------------------------

    I always thought Sam's lady assistant (Nikki?) was kinda cute.

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  87. It's Penny AH. I always assume that Sam and Elvis are spit roasting her at the top of that rescue tower at the fire station when there aren't any emergencies.

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  88. how's that 0-0 bet going colch?

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  89. Lionel Messi. Good footballer. But what a cunt.

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  90. Xavi. Get a proper name. What a cunt.

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  91. First up the ref. All I'll say is it's like playing Un**ed at OT.

    Personally I hope the score stays as is. We do not have a strong enough squad to play in and win three comps... concentrate on the PL and let the others go

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  92. Iniesta. Yep. You're a cunt as well.

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  93. blogdignag said...
    how's that 0-0 bet going colch?
    --------------------------------

    Looking good so far Blog. Think i might win that one.

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  94. Bells..I hope you arent reading this page..and apologies for use of such language on what is after all , pancake day.

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  95. Colch,

    well, it IS the worl women's day, innit?

    why bother?

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  96. Could be worse for the Arsenal fans. They could support Roma. This is from BBC sport live text.......

    "When it rains it pours. Roma looked good for the 15 minutes then they conceded a fluked goal, missed a penalty and had a man sent off."

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  97. xavi sounds like a little 2door ladies runabout the fiat xavi

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  98. Colch, what's the odds on 3 - 1 for the gooners? I just lost the kids life savings on your 0-0 tip so I'll put mine on to get it back.

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  99. is fabregas already getting paid by Barca?

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  100. I must clarify that I dont believe all women are cunts. Infact there hardly ever are. sluts, bitches, whores some of them but not many cunts.

    Most cunts are not much of men either.

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  101. TrotterUSA said...
    Colch, what's the odds on 3 - 1 for the gooners? I just lost the kids life savings on your 0-0 tip so I'll put mine on to get it back.
    ---------------------------------------

    33-1 for 2-1 arsenal. 125-1 for 3-1.

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  102. When world cunts day Spit? It must be on either Ashley Cole or John Terry's birthday.

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  103. lovely, thanks Colch, I'm gunna be rich!

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  104. I think the score will be 125-1 with messiah scoring the first dodecahatrick

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  105. It's only 4-1 for Barca to win 3-0, and they've got 10-1 for both a 4-0 barca win and a 1-1 draw.

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  106. GET IN THERE. FUCK YOU ALL YOU CATALAN CUNTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  107. Biscuits scores. Wrong end though you cunt.

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  108. Blog, it's only 3 to 1 for 125-1, it's not a good value bet.

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  109. they're a stepford footballer wives of a football team agent they.

    robots. find the off switch.

    the only chance for arsenal now is shaggy scooby and the gang unmask the owner gladioli as a bitter and twisted robot genius brought up on pancakes and all along he HATED PANCAKES and now the world must pay the price

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  110. What can you say... one of the worat decisions I have ever seen... but the ref has to give an advantage doesn't he.

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  111. chucklechucklechuckle

    H, Spit, Bo.... stop biting yer fingernails!

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  112. Biscuit returns the favour and RvP decides to make it interesting by getting red carded. You couldnt make this stuff (actually, you quite easily could, dunno why they say that so often in America).

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  113. Just seen the replay..that was no red card....good lord man..if that was a red c ard, the rooneys and carra's of the world need to be excuted at dawn.

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  114. persie off I'm just reading the text and its exciting come on gunners dig in...

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  115. ah,

    no red card, but can we please execute carra and rooney anyway?

    trott,

    fingernails? what nails? what fingers?

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  116. Is it possible that FIFA and UEFA have given the ref orders to make sure Barca go through? Biscuits buggered up the plan by scoring an own goal so the ref is trying something else.

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  117. the glory of beating barca with 10men tho ....

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  118. the gooners defence is making this alot harder than it needs to be with all this dicking around. I can't bear the thought of seeing Jack in tears again, I'm taking the dog out if they're losing after 92 minutes.

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  119. time to bring arshavin on for rosicky who's been absolutely himself (pants)

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  120. I remember earlier in the year that Scotland got slaughtered for playing with noone (not plymouth) up front. I expect similar outrage at Arsenal employing the same tactics.

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  121. nooo, save Arshavin for the weekend, he's on my ffsl team!

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  122. take wilshere off he's got to get up early for his paper round

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  123. go to sleep? not yet!

    not yet!

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  124. Surely if that's a penalty (and it was) Koscielny had to be given a second booking. This ref is awful.

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  125. Trot.. I'm saving my fingernails for the PL... not worried about this micky mouse competition.

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  126. not going to sleep, just yet.

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  127. Good attitude Bo. It's also what we say about everything that we have no chance of winning.

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  128. I'd love to see Arsenal just start kicking Barca off the pitch now. They're fucked anyway so they may as well take a few Barca players down with them.

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  129. David Villa, I know it's world womens day but stop rolling around like a school girl. Get up you cunt.

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  130. I didn't think we had a chance of winning before we went to the nou camp.. I am not surprised not disappointed with the result... my only complaint is the standard of the officials.

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  131. perhaps the only time in history when Bendtner replacing fabregas will be counted as an improvement

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  132. Spit, there is no dimension in which Bendtner replacing Fabregas could be seen as an improvement.

    Blog, I am honestly quite happy for the result to stay as it is... I don't want the distraction of the CL to interfere with the PL... if we were had no hope in the PL it would be a different thing.

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  133. How on earth has Maschereno found a place in this team... he was shit at West Ham and pretty ordinary at Liverpool. Not sure what Barca need him for.

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  134. Well done to the referee for spoiling what was looking like being a brilliant second half.

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  135. Maxwells in da House in the nou Camp coffee cup, kenco other way still

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  136. The best team on the night won but they did have 12 players on the field.

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  137. why are thy playing the soviet national anthem ? thought they were spanish or summat?

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  138. mascherano is an eccentric billionaire Bo, he'll be in outer space next week and then he'll come last in the Dubai grand prix before being shit in the mixed doubles at Wimbledon

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  139. Spit Russia won Spain in a raffle when their banks crashed

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  140. to be fair, Barcelona: 10 shots on target / 21 attempts . Arsenal: Zero shots on target. Out of zero.

    Arsenal didn't get a single shot in.

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  141. Football isn't aboput being fair blog, it's about supporting your team.

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  142. I've just read the blog and have to agree with Robbo... the majority of ref's are fair minded folk (no way am I going to agree that Clattenfuck is fair). It's the managers and fans that need to open both eyes when watching a game of football.

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  143. Jesus, I don't know if I just read the comments page on Robbo's blog, or Ben Kingsley's script from Sexy Beast. Good effort Colch!

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  144. Apologies for my bad language earlier. I got a little upset with how the game was going. I have now washed my mouth out with soap and water.

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  145. Colch - I thought it was informative, insightful, colourful, based on facts, possibly even slightly controvesial and thought provoking.

    I can cross you off my 'Are you Phil McNulty?' list.

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  146. We were slaughter, beaten and totally screwed by the better team.....

    But what the fuck was the ref doing???????????

    I had a bear, a witch , two fireman, a hobbit, Nelson Mandela, Gadaffi and various super heroes and cartoon charachters all watching the game in the dungheap (it's carnival time) and they all agreed that the ref was a totalcunt bucket.

    How ironic that a Swiss could be so not neutral.

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  147. well, he did give the gooners a corner that should never have been one, does that help a bit H?

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  148. Thanx Trott.

    I feel much better now.

    Fancy a pancake?

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  149. too funny, I do fancy a pancake, do you have a recipe?

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  150. One Rooney Elbow
    A stud from Carragher
    Two Nani Tears
    And the sweat of a bastard referee from Switzerland.

    It might not taste too good, but it's a recipe from FIFA.

    Those cunts take the biscuit. (O No you didnt!!!)

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  151. I wouldn't want to toss that fuckin pancake. Maybe drown it in lemon juice!

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  152. Or sour grape juice.

    I've got plenty of that. ;p

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  153. Ah well.

    Sour grape juice has now been utilised, pan-cake/biscuit day is at an end.

    Ash Wednesday here we come.

    Got a light!??

    Booooiiiinnnnngg.

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  154. H, shake it off, you have a big game this weekend in the ffsl!!

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  155. The mighty O's had another win last night to take them up to 7th spot, 8 points behind 6th but with 4 games in hand. Tehoue (who?) came on in the 50th minute and scored the goal that put the game out of Walsall's reach.

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  156. And so the second sign of United winning the league comes to pass.

    First sign was being destroyed by their hated rivals from Merseyside.

    The second, of course is the way a London club was grievously cheated out of a place in the Champions league by a bent ref against Barcelona.

    Now I know I switched off a half time but I knew Arsenal wouldn't finish with 11 on the pitch.

    Mind my money was on Wilshere being targeted one time too many and him doing something rash while already booked.

    Of all the stupid bollocks to be sent off for, but for taking a shot at goal a second after the whistle went for offside?

    Utter bullshit. I hope us or the Chavs get drawn to play them if we both get through our games.

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  157. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUtiCXQNJks

    Mind the Havant and Waterlooville player/manager found a sillier way to get sent off. He manhandled a streaker to the ground after he eluded the stewards only to get sent off for violent conduct.

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  158. blogdignag said...

    Spit Russia won Spain in a raffle when their banks crashed

    --------------------------------

    Wouldn't be the first time that happened. The Spanish Royalists basically handed over the gold the country had gained from their Conquistador days to the Russians in return for aid and supplies to fight against the republicans in their Civil War of the 1930's.

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  159. Bo said
    I've just read the blog and have to agree with Robbo... the majority of ref's are fair minded folk (no way am I going to agree that Clattenfuck is fair). It's the managers and fans that need to open both eyes when watching a game of football.
    -----------------
    I'm completely with Robbo on this re Eng refs, anyone here ever done officiating? only one view, almost instant decision required, congrats Dowd standing back thinking time etc.

    Having said that, had rvp previously been warned after his first yellow?........but the look on rvp face knew it was stupid, before he started on he couldnt hear.

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  160. the incompetence of FIFA is killing football

    all anyone seems to talk about these days is the ref but I don't blame the refs myself

    its the absurdity that we can see, instantly, from 5 angles, in slo-mo what the ref missed

    its FIFA which prevents the officials from accessing the same, cheaply and instantly available tv pictures so game after game is ruined by bad decisions.

    even the winner loses, because Arsene can now validly claim "burt we wurd av win eet"

    refs need to grow a set of balls though and start their own compaign because they're wrongly getting the blame. The review system in cricket works a treat.

    This is only an issue when the tv cameras are present. At lower levels, bad decisions will continue but are unproveable after the event, so live with it

    Blatter.....words fail me. Is it senility?

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  161. Blog

    fair comment

    time to go

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  162. Arsenal were well and truly beaten last night, so let's not blame ref too much, but Spanish teams do well when Busacca is in charge: P30 W23 D7 L0.

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  163. G'day al.

    Yes, RvP’s red card was harsh. But his first yellow was silly. That’s what I mean when I say how much more unlucky we can get this season. Overall our performance was not good.
    When I saw Rosicky's name on the team sheet I said he's going to cost us the match – he was useless in the whole match. If there are 2 players in this Arsenal team you can look upto for giving performances it is Cesc and RvP … and they were the two who let us down last night. I think our defence was confused side – Clichy, Sagna they wanted to go forward and attack but were restrained and sat back defending deep. At times when they should have cleared the ball by hoofing it up in the air they tried to dribble past the defender and when they had possession and should been going past their defenders they gave it away easily. Here perhaps, Wenger is at fault. Either the tactics not communicated clearly or something else. Nasri and Wilshere played their hearts out and they could do only that much, they didn’t get enough support from others.

    Again as I said, at the time when draw was made I did not expect us to go through this tie as winners over 2 legs. But just the manner in which it unfolded, we had a chance and we blew it.

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  164. The leg injury Manchester United's Nani sustained in a tackle by Liverpool's Jamie Carragher on Sunday could end the Portuguese winger's season because of the risk of infection.

    -----

    did Carra also bite the sorry bugger?

    As far as I could tell, no bodily fluids were exchange during that tackle.

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  165. Noel said...
    Colch - I thought it was informative, insightful, colourful, based on facts, possibly even slightly controvesial and thought provoking.

    I can cross you off my 'Are you Phil McNulty?' list.
    ------------------------------------

    Phil McNulty. What a........
    (as I have promised to clean up my language please refer to last night's outbursts for the end of the above sentence)

    Oh and morning all

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  166. Spitfire said...
    The leg injury Manchester United's Nani sustained in a tackle by Liverpool's Jamie Carragher on Sunday could end the Portuguese winger's season because of the risk of infection.

    -----

    did Carra also bite the sorry bugger?

    As far as I could tell, no bodily fluids were exchange during that tackle.
    ---------------------------------------------

    Well apparently, carra went to the Utd dressing room post-match to speak to Nani. You never know what might have transpired there.

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  167. You ever seen the film Crash AH? (not the good one that won the Oscar a few years back, the shit James Spader/Rosanna Arquette one). Shagging a leg wound in the back seat of the car. Romantic.

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  168. Anyone read that Tim Franks blog on BBC about Fergie's silent treatment? Worth a read just for the biased comments.

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  169. Hey Colch .... just reading back through your comments .... it's like I'm looking into a mirror lol.

    Well Carro is a scouser ... they carry all sorts of diseases, some that even the best of scientists have yet to discover/cure.

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  170. I read the blog, Noel. Its a n amusing little read.

    Fergie may be the greatest football manager to have ever managed but he is a twat al right.

    He berated the conduct of agents on every given opportunity yet because the BBC mentioned his son in one of their programs over agents he hasnt talked to them ever since.

    Will be great once he leaves the and with that, renders the bunch of stooges (your Bog Sam, McGliesh, Pubis, Bruche, the Fergie Jr and a bunch of others) who are ever willing to play dirty for the greater good of the godfather.

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  171. the reason the scousers carry so many diseases on them is coz they also nick the lot off of other unsuspecting poor sods. Its not all their own, yer know.

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  172. I think RVP had to go, the ref had no other choice, if he weren't a cheat it wouldn't be an issue... well would it? NO it wouldn't. What you need to understand is that a referee can shape the universe, if he says it is so it is so... like god, but with a whistle and underlying issues of Inadequacy...

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  173. So it was the Shrov (extremely tiny penis) Day after all, that what you saying RBA?

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  174. More on the ref Busacca, he was suspended for a few games a couple of years ago for giving the crowd the finger.

    What a lovely chap, as G. Neville would say.

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  175. well, at least he didnt give AW the finger post-match.

    Should be an entertaining game at WHL today.

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  176. Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger and winger Samir Nasri have been charged by Uefa over comments to the referee after the defeat by Barcelona on Tuesday
    ------------------------------------------------

    Fitting response by UEFA to address the refereeing issues that the game raised. idiots. Doing nothing compounded by doing something stupid.

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  177. AH,
    Here we go again! It is Barcelona v/s “PL team” = “Controversy + Cheating”

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  178. SS..whats happening with India mate..they seem to have the "england syndrome"..the ability to automatically raise or lower the standard of play to match the opposition. 100-4 against netherlands, chasing 190? why does sehwag always get out just when i turn on the TV? Ah, its me then.

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  179. India - Over confidence!

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  180. I don't feel right. Something really strange happened last night......I felt sorry for Arsenal and actually wanted Bendtner to score in the last few minutes.

    Unfortunately its not the refs fault, its the laws of the game that are at fault. I remember Carrick getting sent off last season away in Europe for passing the ball a second after the whistle blew.

    I know most people are saying the ref should use common sense and let it slide because its only a second after he blew (I know I was for a couple of hours last year) but theres a guy in the stands rating the ref on how he follows the rules. So the ref has a choice, he can follow the letter of the law and get a good rating or he could let it slide, tell the player off and get a low score meaning he doesn't get future games.

    I think Van Persie heard the whistle anyway cuz he would never hit a shot first time with his weaker foot when he had that much space.

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  181. Rod, The issue that I have with RvP is the first yellow card itself. There was no need for him to take down Alves. If he would have just kept his calm he could have avoided a booking as well as the red.

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  182. However, I am all in favour of dragging Dani Alves behind a high speed train before slicing his body parts to make dog food.

    was just daft thing to do by RvP.

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  183. I'd agree with you there, it was a needless yellow. The kind of player Alves is as well, if you're gonna get a yellow card you may as well hurt him in the process.

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  184. I think we all agree that the correct way for RvP to get red-carded was to have gashed Alves' foot and put him out for 3 games (or more if infected). Oh hang on, that's just a yellow card offense.

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  185. Or jump clean off the ground and go in with both feet 3 feet off the ground and get nowhere near the ball like that cunt Flamini.

    Oh wait, that doesn't get you sent off either.

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  186. Or elbowed him in the face?

    No, you're right that just wouldn't have been noticed by the ref

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  187. So first an Everton fan has season ticket removed for calling a French player French.
    Now Wenger and Nasri (both French BTW) get charged by UEFA for calling a totally useless wankpot dreg licker a totally useless wankpot dreg licker.
    Madness I tell ya!
    (but please dont accuse me of thinking Arsenal deserved to go through after last nights display)

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