Monday, 4 April 2011

Wayne Looney


I’ve not much cause to go see young lads play footy but me nephew was playing for his local Saturday morning team last weekend so I thought I’d pop along.

First of all the playing surface was slightly less suitable than the Somme. It had more bobbles than your grandma’s cardy. Secondly there was a little knot of parents on either side of the pitch rooting for their little ones and as ever, there was a bloke who was really letting himself down.

He looked like a scalped hog, this bloke, and his gob flapped for 30 minutes like a bedsheet in the breeze. His kid, a half-decent player with boots the colour of kryptonite and hair so heftily gelled he could barely lift his chin to the horizontal, was called – get this – Anton. That’s right, he’d named him after the crap Ferdinand.

And this father bollocked his son’s every pass and tackle until young Anton tumbled like some jessie out of the Royal Ballet School over a non-existent limb and the fresh-face ref waved play on. Anton’s Dad went Fergie-coloured and blurted out a sentence of such invective I dare not repeat it on these pages. Suffice to say it was a fucking disgrace.

Of course, this was nowt compared to the effort put forth from the mouth of England’s finest current footballer. Wayne Rooney. I think, finally, we’ve had enough of him. Haven’t we?

If he’s not elbowing some unprotected opponent in the face, he’s telling brassic England fans to dtop booing him and his mates after they’ve turned out a performance that couldn’t have been lamer had they all stayed in bed for 90 minutes.he’s bawling down the lens of a camera like he’s in the middle of a bleeding war-zone and he’s just taken out the people who killed his family. And we’ve seen enough news on the telly recently to know what that looks like.

All this self-serving tosh about Wayne being a passionate footballer... unlike, say, that Ryan Giggs who clearly doesn’t give a toss about the game. And remember that Bobby Moore? Very few yellow cards... no f-words... He just couldn’t be bothered, could he? I’ve seen more passion in a haddock.

My mate points out that footballers are confusing passion with out and out fury. (And that doesn’t bode well for their missuses, does it. ‘I BOUGHT YOU SOME FUCKIN ROSES, RIGHT! COS I FUCKIN LOVE YOU, YOU BASTARD SLAG! HAPPY VALEN-FUCKING-TINE’S DAY!’ ’)

The mate in question is an Arsenal fan which brings into question his understanding of rage in a football context. I think he believes throwing a plastic cup on the ground is tantamount to Dr David Banner going green.

But I take his point. Cos who exactly is wild Wayne wailing at when he looks down a camera lens? And why would anyone condone such unhinged mania?

Note Carrick's expression - every bit of him's yelling 'aw don't do that you twat!'

And all this of course on the back of Richard Scudamore insisting that clubs, managers and players need to take more action to sustain the laughable Respect campaign. At the mo, refs are getting no protection from abuse whatsoever, least of all from the lumbering neurotics who select the teams or the Neanderthals who play it.

You might say Fergie got a touchline ban for calling Martin Atkinson’s impartiality into question. Except somehow the Govan Beetroot is able to talk to the bench on an absurd white phone and still give half-time team talks to spur his players on to, albeit very impressively, turn around a 2-0 deficit. How exactly then has his Puceness been punished?

Referees need to be supported very directly by the FA. When Clattenburg didn’t quite see the Rooney elbow v Wigan but gave a free-kick anyway, he should have been permitted a second look after the game. And then the Scouse Mouth would and should have got a three-match ban minimum.

But the FA say it was dealt with at the time. Well no it wasn’t. If new evidence comes up in an old court case you don’t say ‘well, yes, I know we got the wrong man but I think you’ll find the judge dealt with it at the time.’ It’s preposterous.

So if Scudamore’s serious about trying to repair the tarnished image of English football then I suggest he and his cohorts start today. Ban the toilet-tongued lout and tell him to learn how to talk to people.

And back refs when they dismiss players after they get called a cunt. Back them, back them, back them.

Refs can be helped by the FA allowing video evidence to be used to up or downgrade cautions and dismissals (including hopeless tumbles like Jagielka’s woeful plummet on Saturday). They should use goal-line technology immediately. All communication between players and officials should be directed through the captain.

And to be fair, they should give managers a bit of breathing space before they come off the park and talk hokum to some mike-carrying no-mark in the tunnel.

Me, I’d like to see Rooney off the England team-sheet n all. The Ghana friendly the other night suggests that he’s not as pivotal as he’d like to think in the national set-up and during the World Cup he couldn’t have hit an aircraft hangar with a carpet-beater.

It’s clear Wazza is a talented player. He’s one of the reasons people have been misguidedly optimistic about England’s chances in big tournaments. But until he can let his feet do the talking I don’t want to see his badly-shave bollock-headed Phil Mitchell-looky-likey face on the box again for a bit.

He’s an embarrassment waiting to happen. Even when he plays well he spoils it by being little short of a Friday night oik after his first ever half a lager.

'Fuckin' Ave 'Im Kai!'

And I’ve got a horrible feeling that when Kai’s playing his first competitive seven-a-side – probably on an immaculate green lawn amongst the dignitaries of downtown Didsbury la-di-dah – some generous volunteer official will have his ears bawled out by the fat slaphead Dad on the touchline who no one’s talking to.

470 comments:

  1. First,

    and I totally agree that the captain should be only one allowed to approach the ref and if he isn't card him for failing to control his team mates. They'll soon learn.

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  2. Massive rant about a footballer saying fuck, are you fucking serious Robbo? Your articles used to be funny, now they are just as bad as Ollie Holt.

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  3. You're absolutely spot on Robbo. But the FA is too weak. Rooney will probably get a 20k fine for swearing down the camera. What's that, a mornings wages? Absolutely pointless. Everything that you mentioned needs to happen - only the captains can talk to refs, video evidence can be used retrospectively (if they won't allow it during the game), and proper punishments need to be handed out - fines don't work with multi millionaires, and touchline bans are pointless if they can still communicate with the players.

    And from the previous blog, Rod, you're so wrong. So wrong that it's funny.

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  4. Rooney is now a complete joke Robbo. Ever since the world cup all we've heard is this and that about him, none of it positive. Whether he's shagging hookers behind the wife's back or having a go at inanimate objects like a camera, he's just tarnishing his personal record.

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  5. I'm not a cricket fan whatsoever but i'm suprised you haven't mentioned it even in the slightest. Bizarre.

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  6. I agree with Robinson, I don't want this sort of profanity intruding on my family viewing I don't want my kids fucking swearing all the fucking time like that cunt rooney

    fortunately I'm not well off enough to afford live swearing so I have to get outraged at one remove ie the tantalizingly embryonic forming aspirated labiodental formative shown by those censorious wankers on MotD

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  7. The Tees Mouth said...
    Refs can be helped by the FA allowing video evidence to be used to up or downgrade cautions and dismissals (including hopeless tumbles like Jagielka’s woeful plummet on Saturday). They should use goal-line technology immediately. All communication between players and officials should be directed through the captain.

    ------------------------------------------------

    Diving and simulation is impossible to get rid of unless you allow more physical contact. Nowadays if you're anywhere near the opponents box you fall over if you feel a touch and every manager now preaches that. Defenders are even starting to do it around their penalty box. United's game away to Marseilles was unbelievably frustrating for a united fan because all the Marseilles players fell over when a player went near them.

    A way to combat this is to say give referees more power and let them use their common-sense to interpret every situation, like in rugby. But then you would need to teach them a universal common-sense ideal because as we know everywhere outside England accepts diving as part of the game and appreciate it to be a desirable skill in some cases so some refs would share this opinion I'm sure.

    Goal-line technology is a no-brainer to me. It will happen but we'll probably have to wait until Blatter is gone.

    On the issue with refs only talking to captains. This cannot and will not happen simply because it will slow the game down. If the captains a defender or a keeper and an offence happens at the other end of the pitch, he has to run all the way up the pitch and then run all the way back again. Captains will end up just being midfielders and softly spoken ones at that.

    Personally I hope Rooney retires from International football, it would probably do him some good to step out of the limelight a bit. I think Rooney's biggest crime is not being able to handle the hate and shite thrown his way every day. Yes he earns a ridiculous amount of money and is a bit of a thug but the media are constantly licking their lips desperately jumping on anything to kill him safe in the knowledge that Rooney has a fuse shorter than Jamie Lee Curtis' cock.

    If only Rooney would have played for Ireland instead. We would have shown him a bit more courtesy when things weren't going well for him.

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  8. And no Noel, I'm right. So right its scary.

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  9. Jesus Rooney should be jailed for this!!!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y35ZUDcieds&feature=related

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  10. I am biased admittedly, but whoever the ref was who gave Everton a pen after Jag's wee tumble was simply making up for Beckford's completely legit "goal" being ruled out, so justice was done.
    As for Wazza - he hit his peak with that goal against Arsenal in 2005 before we sold him. Overrated gobshite IMO..

    "aspirated labiodental fricative" - wasn't that a song by The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band?

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  11. Jamal. Agreed it is bizarre that no mention of cricket was made. Enjoyed the final. Best team won and Dhoni's winning six was sporting majesty. A stroke not one of England's players could have played.

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  12. wat da fuck is wrong wif wat rooney said robbo?
    dis stupid business of all brits behaving lik jesus has got to stop!!!!for crissakes...how many tyms does robbo use fuck in his narrative??//oh wait...children dont read da site do they??/

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  13. And Anonymous. It's not that Rooney said Fuck it's that the bumptious pillock can add that to loads of other misdemeanours up to the point that I'd rather not listen or watch the twonk again. And I certainly think if the FA are to be taken seriously they have to censure him today good n proper.

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  14. Give the refs a bar of pink carbolic. If we swore when playing football, we got our mouths washed out with the stuff.

    Given that it was from the communal bath and had lathered a few hundred adolsescent ringpieces, it was not an offence you cared to commit twice.

    Make for top viewing on MotD mind.

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  15. Big fan of Robbo. But this has got to be up there with one of your worst articles. 'Its like people are calling for The Boy to be electrocuted or something..'

    Anywho, he is a footballer not your local fockin priest

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  16. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xY_AGlAqcm0&playnext=1&list=PL305B614B5C2A13E6

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axISAvjgX9I

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWny0v0Qu-c

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMsH_SkQimA

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM3wSTZi2qk

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohNN-B3V5x0

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoIAm0XSo3M

    Ban the lot of them. They said a bad word, sometimes more than once!!!! Especially that 'arry character. He should be fucking locked up and lobotomised for his behaviour. Hes taken the chizzle out of my dizzle. Fucking bastard.

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  17. bit of truth in that, rod, fat_lampard ..thing is the old thing he was built up too much and then he failed to be the new messi-ah - and this is how the media are getting their money back cos footie costs them a bomb

    and the middle classes who have decidd football is their game but not for their little Gideon are goignt o be twenty times more judgmental - he swears, betrays his wife, smokes (never saw him so happy as when he was pissing up that alley against a wheelie bin with a fag in his gob) ... so what, him and a million other people

    he's an exceptional player but as a person he's just a dim unexceptional lad

    the gap between what he is and what people want him to be is tragic for wayne - it looks like its ruining his life - but he's rich and spoiled so i dont care - i think its funny

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  18. 1530 BST: Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas has escaped unhurt after being involved in a minor car accident. The Metropolitan Police say two cars collided on Monday morning on the A41 in north London, close to Arsenal's training ground. Police say no one involved in the accident required hospital treatment and that it was "just a prang." (Associated Press)
    ----------

    Apparently, arsenal players are not getting injured enough on field that they have taken to trying to get fucked up on the roads too

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  19. how long will the car be out for, spit?

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  20. 100% in agreement with your views both about Shrek and Referees

    Similar to Shreks outburst is this from Ballack a couple of weeks ago

    http://vodpod.com/watch/5809104-michael-ballack-scheiss-fc-kln

    Got fined 8000euros by the DFB, shrek should be punished more, it is not the first time

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  21. The thing is I couldn't work out who Rooney was swearing at. Shame as it was a bit senseless and overshadows acomeback second only to Newcastle's against Arsenal this season.

    Great game, great result, silly outburst.

    I would agree however thatfootballers should be better behaved on and off the pitch but the irony is a lot of the people criticising him and wanting him banned are the very parents swearing at their kids matches the next day.

    Also if you ever do see that team again you might remind that guy that having a go at his kid isn't going to help him play better. Much the reverse in fact.

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  22. Anyways please read, comment and vote for the PFA Player of the year (as they will psychically affect the result) at

    http://adampsb.blogspot.com/2011/04/something-special.html

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  23. So there it is, he will be charged

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/12950670.stm

    I think it is the nature and context of the outburst that is bad, yes, we all swear, players swear at each other, at refs, maybe taken in the right spirit the refs swear back, so be it

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  24. So Adam, do you think he should be punished as an IOU fan?

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  25. He's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy........and a cunt

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  26. Well, loathe though I am to saying anything that seems to be in support of IOU players, I think this level of criticism is uncalled for. These are football players, and if your kids hold them up to be role models, then its the parents fault. These are highly paid, adequately educated (at best) individuals and this combination makes them highly susceptible to this sort of behaviour. It is to be expected and parents should mentor their kids accordingly. If you let your kids talk like wazza (unless they can play like him as well), its just poor parenting. So a sports star is a shocking role model. What else did you expect? Not everyone is a tendulkar, nor is everyone a wazza. Teach your kids to learn to tell right from wrong.

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  27. I actually think the 2 match ban for swearing after he had just scored a fuckin hattrick is harsh.

    He (and anyone else for the matter) should get banned for swearing at the Refs as he so often does.

    I too dont hold the opinion that sportspeople have the responsibilty to be the role models to our kids. It's Parents' fault if the kids turn out to be shoplifting, brawliing, whoring gits ala Rooney, Gerrard etc OR absolute gentlemen ala Giggs, Tendulker...

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  28. I see Rooney got a two match ban. What a load of shite this country complains about eh? Oh wait a minute, Sky didn't receive that many complaints did they? I've seen much much worse get no punishment. I really hope Rooney retires from international football now, how can he love a country that seems hell-bent on breaking him?

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  29. It's not about the swearing per se, it's his complete lack of respect to everyone else.

    Yes people swear at football matches but he gets 200 grand a week so is fair game for criticism, it's not hard is it? I might swear to my mates but I don't tell my gran to stuff her f*cking over boiled veg up her arse when I go see her.

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  30. Nice one Robbo.

    Although I agree with your assesment ofmany of the other fopars he has made, I couldn't really give a toss that Rooney swore at the camera, what surprises me though is that other people are surprised/shocked that he did it. He's proven over the years that he's a bit of a toerag and he f's and blinds at anyone who gets in his way, I mean, he's not exactly known as the defender of good etiquite, is he?

    I see now that the FA are going to charge him and give him a two match ban, well, to me that's just ridiculous and even worse it will make Rod seem right in his point that IOU players get made examples of. ;p.

    But seriously, how the fuck are they going to justify the punishment? Is he just being punished because he has a potty mouth? Will he be sent to bed early and will he still be allowed to play outside or does he have to stay in his room with no TV?

    More importantly, does this now mean that everytime a player uses profanity they'll get banned? Good luck with that FA. Show me a player that doesn't use the word "fuck", and I'll show you a player that doesn't speak any English and has been living on Mars for most of his life. What about the forigners? It's just as easy to notice when the Spanish players use the word "puta" which means hoar but is basically the same as fuck. Will they get banned too? If not, isn't that a bit racist?

    Are we gonna need an extra linesman or a filth official to keep an eye on all the players lips and there ears to the ground (so to speak). If so I'd suggest using women, mums have notorously good hearing when it comes to picking up swear words.

    If the FA really do plan to clean up the game then I'm all for it, but personally I can't see it happening and if they get this wrong it will just give more power to the Utd fans who belive there is an ABU culture within the organisation.
    A bird's gonna fly, a fish's gonna swim and overrated, overpayed primadonnas are gonna act like cunts, it's just the way it is.

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  31. I don't go with the 'it's just the way it is' line of argument. Otherwise lets allow the Nazi's to commit genocide ....and we can all throw banana's at black players.

    It's about time someone drew a line in the sand. I don't remember Bobby Moore or Charlton screaming obscenities (mind you I wasn't born).

    I think I read once that if an argument descends into using the word Nazi in it, then it can't be won or lost. So leave it, I'm right and lets just all agree with me. Okay?

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  32. And congratulations on the "not" addition to your monniker.

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  33. I think I read once that if an argument descends into using the word Nazi in it, then it can't be won or lost. So leave it, I'm right and lets just all agree with me. Okay?
    -------

    I am sure there is a hypothesis that on internet, any and every argument will eventually descend into one side referring the other as Nazi.

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  34. MNR...good show on getting th job mate. Now you can be online posting just like the rest of us.

    I dont think swearing at the camera is comparable to genocide, but that may just be me.

    Even if it is, why the distinction between rooney and every single player at the cricket world cup who mouthed the f word at the first opportunity. Admittedly, Rooney is the scum of the earth, but does that make it okay for Giggs to have it done then? This one is worse because a toerag is the (repeat)offender? And if this is the law of the game how is going to be implemented for all 22 players on the field for every single game? Or is it okay to be a foul mouthed git, just as long as the camera doesnt catch you?

    Hypocrisy if you ask me. And abdication of responsibility by the "you are ruining our kids" parents brigade.

    That said, if this argument cant be won or lost (was there ever on that was)I agree with you completely MNR.

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  35. Every other sport, their players on the whole behave themselves, comport themselves in a decent manner on the field of play and off of it, while their governing bodies take steps to punish the odd incident of controversy.

    Cricket for instance, they don't take any crap. Anyone seen being disrespectful to other players, umpires or not behaving themselves get swiftly fined their match fees.

    Football, once again lives in a parallel universe, where thuggery is seemingly not just tolerated but glamorised. Fining the likes of Rooney or Balotelli a week's wages on what they earn is like trying to put out a raging forest fire by pissing on it.

    How many times do we hear of players acting like yobs on or off the pitch? How many times do they get let off with thrupenny fines for incidents that the average Joe would get slammed for?

    If I'd shot someone with an air rifle, or threw darts at them, or screamed obscenities in someone's face in the high street I'd get locked up for fuck's sake. These tossers, it's fining them some loose change and all but turn a blind eye to incidents.

    I'm fucking sick and tired to the back teeth of these arrogant little tossers and it's way past high time the FA got off their fat corrupt arses and actually did something meaningful to pull the game out of the toilet.

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  36. The guy behind the camera Wazza cursed at got off easy.

    This could of happened;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UBDjon_GHM&NR=1

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  37. Rooney is in Garth Crook(ed)s' team of the week.

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  38. Starfire said...

    I'm fucking sick and tired to the back teeth of these arrogant little tossers and it's way past high time the FA got off their fat corrupt arses and actually did something meaningful to pull the game out of the toilet.

    ------------------------------------------------

    I still don't really know what Rooney did wrong here. If someone starts shouting crap at the ref then fair enough but shouting at a cameraman that has run on to the pitch? You know the way people were going on about it yesterday made it sound like it was the biggest offence of all time. I'm sorry but no, this isn't the FA showing any meaningful form of action. Its a bunch of clueless twats(on a huge wage also no doubt) bowing to the papers. Simples.

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  39. 1025 BST: AC Milan owner Silvio Berlusconi believes Mario Balotelli's off-the-field "behaviour" will prevent him from putting on the Rossoneri shirt in the future. "There is a Milan style of behaviour that I don't think is very close to that of Balotelli. Every now and then, he has a bit of a distraction," said Berlusconi of the Manchester City striker, who is an AC Milan fan. (Press Association)
    -----
    Ha Ha, this from the guy who's been accused of tax fraud, abuse of office and paying for sex with an underage prostitute, and that's just over the last few months.

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  40. Rod, I'm not intentionally singling Rooney out with my rant there. I'm just sick of all the yobbos in the game who seemingly stroll around, berating anything and anyone and acting in a manner not generally acceptable in civilised society, thinking that because they're on a six figure sum each week they're somehow exempt from the rules that the rest of us generally try/have to abide by.

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  41. Cheers H2H and spits.

    To be fair Rod, I don't think it was just the swearing, he's had it coming for a while, it's the straw that broke the camels back. At least the rest of the yobs who pull on the England shirt share out the twatish behaviour out between them.

    Nice useage of the word 'Comport' Star, I'm not sure I have ever seen it written down before?

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  42. Star, you're forgeting that people with loads of money are exempt from the rules because they are better then the rest of us.

    It's just the way it is. (Sorry MNR)

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  43. Cheers MNR (Congrats on the job by the way). I figured it was high time to lace one of my brimstone rages with a thread of intelligence.

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  44. On a different subject, how crappy looking is that statue of MJ at Craven Cottage? It's so bad it almost makes the real MJ look like a person.

    I'd be pissed off if I was a Fulham fan.*


    *Goes without saying I suppose.

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  45. I suppose Al Fayed basically telling the team's fanbase to go to hell wasn't really up there in the PR stakes.

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  46. Cheers Star

    Ye it's a bit odd that statue, it looks like a star wars figurine really. Probably appropriate, it looks a bit plastic.

    I give it a week before it's vandalised though, and I suspect a rather obscene vandalism too.

    Its BAD!

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  47. Ok since were all in RANT mode heres mine


    I agree with star and MNR...I think... the "oh well they're thick footballers whadyouexpekt" or "you can take the boy out of the shit, you cant take the shit out of the boy" type arguments just aren't good enough

    I've got three young sons and fuck knows getting them to behave like decent respectful human brings with me as their dad is hard enough but I'm doing my best I really am

    I love swearing but never in front of my kids its one of the lines people draw to teach them there is a difference between right and wrong

    so when someone like rooney does swear I say to them keep away from chav scum like that...its a useful parenting tool really but why do you think so many people won't take their kids to a football match?

    football should be family entertainment and if you want to swear great do it in the stands or in the pub but not in the family enclosure and not on prime time tv ....that's why its taboo slang.... because lots of people don't like it its about respect... we all know too many people who respect no one and nothing, well enough is enough

    the reason rooney's being made an example of is he's a high profile England player, the F A talked about kicking on next season with their More Respect campaign and ONE DAY later he does this down the nearest camera like maradonna at his drug crazed worst .

    man utd and fergie - still banned himself - seem to think they can do and say what the fuck they like, its the fundamental lack of respect that makes them do widely loathed and the FA is right for once they need teaching a fucking lesson

    (if you're under 18 why are you reading this blog, and isn't it past your bedtime? )

    PS Robbo, more tits please next time

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  48. vale are planning a Robbie Williams statue outside vale park entitled "fat dancer"

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  49. Lets not forget respect is a two way street, you can get away with singing "who's the wanker in the black" and such from the terraces, so why would we expect anything different from those on the pitch?

    Over here in the Ere Divisie games can be stopped by the ref due to "spreekkoren" which basically means foul or abusive language or songs comming from the supporters, it happens quite often that games are stopped.
    Usually what happens is the ref will stop the game and then a spokesman (a player, manager, chairman) will come out and try to get the crowd to calm down, if it works the match resumes, if not it will be cancelled and sanctions are handed out to the team whose supporters are to blame.

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  50. I'm back after a year's hiatus.
    My view on this whole Rooney issue is as follows:
    1) He should not have sworn into the camera;
    2) He should not be banned 2 games.
    I'm not sure what the correct punishment would be, but one has to make a distinction between going out of one's way to swear into a camera, and swearing in general.
    As a professor, I remember I once lost my temper in a class and swore quite vehemently. It was a rant that I immediately regretted. The department chair asked me kindly to apologise. Now, I swear quite often, but I know that there are regulations in my career and I follow them the best that I can.
    Rooney should know that the rules do allow the FA to punish him for his actions, so that pretty much sums it up.

    H2H, and others, I agree that this is a bit hypocritical insofar as swearing throughout a football match, be it from players, fans, managers, etc., is rampant, but one has to make the distinction that Rooney swore into the camera: the intent is fundamentally different.

    In short, for some reason Rooney apparently thought it was a good idea to say "fuck" repeatedly into a camera, despite his team mates attempting to restrain him from so doing (I should think, as they are trying to walk him away from the camera). So it's not simply a situation of "oh, we all swear, so why can't Rooney?" This would be like me being on the radio, or giving a public lecture, and going out of my way to swear. I can't say, "Hey, my colleagues all swear! So do my students!" No. I'd be reprimanded for going out of my way to swear, and rightly so. Again, I'm not sure whether I agree with the 2 match ban: I'll have to think that over: but some form of punishment or at least restraint is needed.

    And the "everyone in society swears" argument is a bit of a category error: Have you ever seen someone in a sport other than football go out of one's way to swear into a camera and get away with it?

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  51. Sounds good H2H. If there was a zero tolerance attitude then it wouldn't take long to sort out, and I don't mean the odd bit of swearing here and there just targeted abuse.

    I suspect someone is going to start with the thought police argument, but that is bollox

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  52. PS: I ended by saying
    "And the "everyone in society swears" argument is a bit of a category error: Have you ever seen someone in a sport other than football go out of one's way to swear into a camera and get away with it?"
    That's a genuine agnoetic question, not a rhetorical one. I'd be curious to know if swearing into a camera is something someone has seen in, say, American sports or any other sports. I follow cricket, football, and tennis, in descending order, and only in football do I see a preponderance of bad behaviour. Remember when Joey Barton got ordered to live with Kevin Nolan? And then, what, a few months later Nolan gets a ticket going 90 in a 45 zone or some such? My argument is not that this is a bad example for children: my argument is that these overpaid folk can afford to get away with behaviour that any other member of society would either (1) not be punished for or (2) could not afford to be punished for or (3) could not even afford to defend. How many PR folks at Chelsea, how many lawyers, how many executives, did it take to ensure that Ashley Cole did not get punished for shooting someone with an air rifle? I like cricket's propensity to take your match wages. And by analogy, Flintoff often behaved quite embarrassingly off the pitch, but he was class on the pitch. Why can't Rooney do the same? I remember the other week when Arsenal finally levelled (though we should never have put ourselves in that position), and the pub seemed to let out a collective "Fuck yeah!" But we didn't then go out of our way to broadcast the word "fuck fuck fuck" into a camera or a microphone.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I don't know why Fulham are complaining about their new statue, it's better value than the 50 million Chelsea paid for theirs. (heard on 5 live)

    ReplyDelete
  54. Correction: My argument is not that this is a bad example for children: my argument is that these overpaid folk can afford to get away with behaviour that any other member of society would either (1) BE punished for or (2) could not afford to be punished for or (3) could not even afford to defend oneself against. Sorry for the obtrusive "not". Now I'm going to go yell "FUCK" multiple times at anyone who is awake to listen.

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  55. Funny that Hull had a debate over whether to put up a statue of Dean Windass, and Fulham puts one up of Michael Jackson without much conversation at all. Did anyone oppose it? I guess if it's at the grounds one can't, but still. I think it was Clint Dempsey's idea.

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  56. el fayed wanted it and its his club end of, twd - welcome back

    if berlusconi wanted a
    200 foot high mural of a bunga bunga party painted on the roof of the san siro then whose to stop him (inter Milan I guess is the answer)

    Right now I'm working on a 40 foot state of marc Richards constructed from empty beer cans in my front garden ... might even enter it for the Turner prize

    ReplyDelete
  57. Konnolsky
    Volga News. Scandal as life-size statue of Bobby Zamora unveiled outside Neverland

    .....:.
    heh heh

    ReplyDelete
  58. This blog pose as with the FA is completely ridiculous, Mr Robson at numerous occasions has used expletives in his posts and has given no warning with respect to children, by Mr. Robson's standards he should be possibly jailed for life. You cannot take away the right to free speech because the man earns a million quid a month, fundamental rights apply to everyone including spoilt footballers and they have no obligation to be your role model, go ahead drop him from the english team, lol then try and get out of the group stage of any tournament.
    I would just like to say this,
    King George VI: Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck! Fuck, fuck and bugger! Bugger, bugger, buggerty buggerty buggerty, fuck, fuck, arse!
    Lionel Logue: Yes...
    King George VI: Balls, balls...
    Lionel Logue: ...you see, not a hesitation!
    King George VI: ...fuckity, shit, shit, fuck and willy. Willy, shit and fuck and... tits.
    After All, it is the King's speech!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Oh and insulting people in a public forum, 'crap ferdinand, wayne looney is all good,' but venting off steam into a camera that is thrust into your face is so horrible. Who the bloody hell are you to judge anyone mate, Gandhi??

    ReplyDelete
  60. That Was Deliberate got it spot on - the difference with Wazza is that he repeatedly swore down the camera. Most players swear during the game, but it's never audible. Similarly, managers who swear in interviews after the game will no doubt be aware that it'll be edited before broadcast. This match was broadcast around the world and most people understand the word fuck. As a result, he's embarrassed the Premier League, and the English FA. A prescedent would be Drogba swearing down the camera during the Champions League a year or so ago. This brought UEFA into disrepute, so he was banned for three matches.

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  61. Again, I cannot look beyond the hypocrisy here. and since i am feeling quite dirty having supported rooney twice already on this blog, this will be my last.

    This blog is open to the internet with no adult disclaimer, and yet features semi nude images and vulgar language all the time, but no one has any complaints.

    bowlers mouther the word fuck every single time they had a chance knowing fully well the camera was on them, yet we keep saying football is the only place profanity is tolerated.

    well known thug says fuck into the camera and suddenly we're all offended.

    are kids watching the cricket too stupid to lip read? are we making an example of rooney simply because he is a hateable bastard, while brushing everythign else under the carpet? Was the india-paki match fixed ?

    ReplyDelete
  62. Avram Grant gets a 2 game ban for criticising the ref. Looks like the FA is starting to act tougher. It'll take time, but if they stick to their guns then it should bring about change.

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  63. Just imagine that you're a player in the EPL, sitting at the top of the table and drawing/losing away games, and you're 2-0 down at half-time.

    Second half: you score two goals to bring the game level, then you step up to take a penalty in the intense atmosphere of a football stadium where the home supporters are singing a song (go fuck a grandma - or words to that effect) - you're concentrating, guts wrenching, adrenaline pumping and you score a third goal!

    WTF would you do if you got a camera shoved in your face? Exactly!

    ReplyDelete
  64. Ay up Robbo. Been following your blog a long time and feel that you've just climbed on to a frisky high horse here.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Whatever your opinion, it's certainly sparked debate. McNulty would be proud.

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  66. Noel,
    Thanks for seeing my point. I'm married and have no children (we've only been married 7 months) so I know not how I'd feel were I in Robbo's position or the position of any other person who has children.

    But for me the issue, as I stated, has nothing to do with children.

    Rooney
    (1) Went out of his way (excessive celebration? maybe a yellow card would have been more fair than a 2 match ban? I don't know) to shout in a camera expletives, repeatedly, knowing full well what he was doing. What, did Wazza think that that was a friend's camcorder? An errant iPhone?
    (2) Has done this before.
    (3) Is an England striker: Robbo is not: the standards are different. My teaching assistant can fuck up grading an exam, but if I as a professor fuck up grading an exam, I am held to a higher degree of accountability. Note that I used the collocation 'fuck up'. The more visibility you have, the more responsible you must be: that is not a moral claim; it is written in just about any job contract you sign, including, at the highest levels, those like Rooney.
    (4) Is a player who is egregious in his misconduct. Does Cesc repeat "Puta" to the camera when he scores (rarely)? Have you seen Arteta yelling "Puta" into a camera? Zamora had a great weekend out: did he say, "Fuck you cunts who wrote me off as an injury-prone striker"? No. So, Rooney is in a class of his own, yes? That perspective is the opposite of hypocrisy. Pure solipsism.
    (5) Is embarrassing. Fuck you media, I scored a hat trick...you media who say I'm shite. Well Berbatov has 21 goals, and whilst I don't know the Bulgarian word for "fuck", Berbatov has taken heat and hasn't said "fuck" repeatedly into the camera when he's bagged a hat trick.

    And for those comparing Robbo's use of "fuck" to Rooney's, think on this:
    You can set your internet settings so as to eliminate or curb expletives if you so wish. You cannot stop Rooney from acting like a fucking idiot. There's the difference. Again, nothing to do with kids, which again I do not have. It's about the position Rooney is in and the fuck-all he seems to think about any social responsibility that comes with his position.
    This is not a societal issue. It is an issue about Rooney being tonto, and the sooner someone (Sir Alex???) brings him down to the planet that we inhabit the better.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Robbo:
    What cigs do you smoke? Looks like a Dunhill red.

    ReplyDelete
  68. It is so pathetic that people consider themselves so morally pure that they can rip into Rooney for one use of the word FUCK..just because someone is paid tons of money does not make them immune to pressure or take away their right to be act like a human..Wayne Rooney in the last year admittedly largely by his own foolishness has taken tremendous heat and he deserves some slack..he is an exceptional football player and his nature is what it is. Roy keane never apologized for what he did and neither does cantona..the media wants to romanticise them and create sympathy for Gascione but burn Wayne how is that fair..
    Further it is ridiculous to give referees a carte Blanche power to do what they want without criticism..every person in a position of authority is criticised it is amazing why referees are so privileged given that they get stuff wrong on a lot of occasions.

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  69. wat da fuck r u talkin abt robbo?role model??its not like rooney fucked all da women in britain and made dem pregnant to giv birth to all da kids in england did he??ur child only watches rooney 90mins in 7days and dats da person shaping ur childs views?????scudamore shd have his testicles taken off!!!!!fuckin unbelievable!!!!!!!da english fa(fuckin assholes)!!!

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  70. Rooney always swears, that was nothing new. I dont see point in giving him suspension.

    As for Arsenal, same old problems. Need for change, Wenger should be moved up the chain or to Arsenal Academy to coach youngsters. Bring a new manager, add some personnel in goalkeeping, defence and midfield. Change the playing system. Enough of passing football inside the opposition box. It just takes a second to look up and shoot from distance which we dont practice enough. Unbelievable. Title race over. Man U to win with ease now, probably with 3 games in hand or so.

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  71. you see things differently when you know how easily influenced young kids are by their heroes

    is rooney a hero or not?

    if not then why would he be paid so much?

    he needs to be brought into line, it obviously doesnt do his game any good - this myth that the raging bull anger he has being beneficial just makes him seem demented without adding anything, witness the last year or so

    punishment has to be in the form of a ban, money means nothing, 2 games seems about right to me

    then maybe he'll start acting like a grown-up - fergie has taken the dysfunctional father role as far as it will go now - he'll be a better player for it. and when little kai comes out of eton he wont be quite so embarrassed about his dad

    OR send in the psychotherapists, probably wont help ..

    tony soprano : Althis fuckin' self knowledge. Where the fuck has it gotten me ?


    he also says this :...........


    Bobby Baccalieri: "To the victor belongs the spoils."
    Tony Soprano: "Why don't you get the fuck out of here before I shove your quotation book up your fat fucking ass."

    ReplyDelete
  72. Anonymous said...
    wat da fuck r u talkin abt robbo?role model??its not like rooney fucked all da women in britain and made dem pregnant to giv birth to all da kids in england did he??ur child only watches rooney 90mins in 7days and dats da person shaping ur childs views?????scudamore shd have his testicles taken off!!!!!fuckin unbelievable!!!!!!!da english fa(fuckin assholes)!!!
    -------------------------------------------------

    Calm down Wayne, it was 3 days ago mate.

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  73. Ermm there seem to be several numpties who seem to think Rooney F-wording down a camera lens is just like normal. Well it's on me telly. It's half-one in the afternoon. I don't need it. And even if it's not high treason the fact is this bloke has been getting away with disrespecting refs, hacking opponents and pulling his employer's chain and yet we still give him loads of rope. It's like when Terry lost the England captaincy. It wasn't so much his alleged schtupping of Bridge's ex (frankly Wayne should've taken the pain) but the fact that this was on top of a lot of other crap that JT had been up to. Same goes for Rooney. AND only a complete twerp could've yelled profanities down a camera lens two days after Scudamore said he was cracking down on abusive language. Sums Wazza up.

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  74. Actually for a really much more betterly phrased representation of my standing viewpoint see ThatWasDeliberate five or six comments up. Like.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Anonymous said...
    wat da fuck r u talkin abt robbo?role model??its not like rooney fucked all da women in britain and made dem pregnant to giv birth to all da kids in england did he??ur child only watches rooney 90mins in 7days and dats da person shaping ur childs views?????scudamore shd have his testicles taken off!!!!!fuckin unbelievable!!!!!!!da english fa(fuckin assholes)!!!
    ---------------------------------------------

    English GCSE must be harder than it used to be.

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  76. Who exactly was he abusing. Surely for it to be abusive and insulting it has to be deliberately targeted at a person.

    It was silly but a ban is disproportionate and sour grapes by Trevor Brooking cos his team lost. Should have been a fine but the FA don't want United winning the treble so they are trying to help their mate Arsene catch up.

    Although Berbatov and Owen will start on Saturday and beat Fulham anyway

    ReplyDelete
  77. http://adampsb.blogspot.com/2011/04/something-special.html

    need your comments so I can be search optimised

    ReplyDelete
  78. adampsb said...
    they are trying to help their mate Arsene catch up.
    ____________________________

    Dont worry Adam. Arsenal players are ensuring that Un**ed win the title. Not treble though coz Chelsea will win the CL tie and Man C**ty will win their FA cup tie.

    ReplyDelete
  79. This from Germany: the freeto view Public broadcaster ZDF has secured the rights to show Champions League.

    Cant see that happening in Engerland, can ya?

    ReplyDelete
  80. Noel said...
    A prescedent would be Drogba swearing down the camera during the Champions League a year or so ago. This brought UEFA into disrepute, so he was banned for three matches.

    --------------------------------------------------

    Drogba was trying to confront the referee, scaring the fuck out of him. Also by what he said questioned the integrity of the referee.

    --------------------------------------------------

    The Tees Mouth said...
    Ermm there seem to be several numpties who seem to think Rooney F-wording down a camera lens is just like normal. Well it's on me telly. It's half-one in the afternoon. I don't need it. And even if it's not high treason the fact is this bloke has been getting away with disrespecting refs, hacking opponents and pulling his employer's chain and yet we still give him loads of rope.

    --------------------------------------------------

    Absolute twaddle Robbo. Rooney does anything and its all over the papers the next day. I think the true ABUs are showing their heads over this. I'm not saying swearing is normal in every day life but in football its bog standard yes.

    --------------------------------------------------

    AND only a complete twerp could've yelled profanities down a camera lens two days after Scudamore said he was cracking down on abusive language. Sums Wazza up.

    --------------------------------------------------

    Geh? The Respect campaign you mean? Thought that was more centred around referees to be fair Robbo.

    I understand people saying he had this coming and it was the straw that broke the camel's back but as the FA said the incident in the Bolton game was closed (he didn't elbow either, he raised his forearm to barge a guy who was trying to block his run - shouldve been sent of but it was hardly a Fashanu special) and shouldnt be considered, otherwise something dodgy is going on. But in saying that is no one else a bit suspicious of the two match ban including the FA cup semi final? I bet if the Citeh game was 3 games away he would have got a 3 match ban.

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  81. Spitfire said...
    This from Germany: the freeto view Public broadcaster ZDF has secured the rights to show Champions League.

    I don't suppose they'll be streaming that over netTV so I can watch it on my iDevice?

    ReplyDelete
  82. Noel said...

    Anonymous said...
    wat da fuck r u talkin abt robbo?role model??its not like rooney fucked all da women in britain and made dem pregnant to giv birth to all da kids in england did he??ur child only watches rooney 90mins in 7days and dats da person shaping ur childs views?????scudamore shd have his testicles taken off!!!!!fuckin unbelievable!!!!!!!da english fa(fuckin assholes)!!!
    ---------------------------------------------

    English GCSE must be harder than it used to be.
    ----------------------------------------------
    oh professor noel...where i come from we learn the English language in school.and for ur info i passed gcse.. and read english at the univ... and da fact dat u understand me is all i want...get a life ..dis is not an exam room..poor role model for ur kids..if u hav any ohh shit..forgot six yr olds cant get women pregnant

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  83. The most important fact (of life) here is that kids learn the word "fuck" before they're six years old, and they either learn the word in their own home or from other kids in the school or playground. Some of them might even see their parents engaging in the act of fucking.

    All this about footballers being role-models is bullshit, otherwise we would have millions of 6-year old David Beckhams walking around -- now there's a scary thought, more so if each mini-Beckham ended up with a mini-Posh Spice!

    ReplyDelete
  84. Anonymous said...

    All this about footballers being role-models is bullshit, otherwise we would have millions of 6-year old David Beckhams walking around -- now there's a scary thought, more so if each mini-Beckham ended up with a mini-Posh Spice!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    You say that but wasn't Beckham caught on camera calling a player a puta or whatever a few years back at Madrid? Seeing how short and selective some peoples memories are on this blog this may be difficult to believe but he was..........and he didn't get a ban.

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  85. Whoops actually I think I got that wrong....... he called the referee a puta and got sent off....and got banned for the red card.

    ReplyDelete
  86. mornin' all,

    Great stuff Robbo. Cut their fuckin' tongues out for the first offence. Pitch side, on camera, with an old half starved dog there to eat the bits, that'll put an end to it. Sometimes a return to middle-ages values is the only solution!

    Trotters for the cup!

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  87. All of them, H, or at least a spell on the sidelines

    ReplyDelete
  88. "I respect him (Rooney) as a player but he is a silly boy for what he did and he shouldn't have done it."

    aRRY fOR eNGLAND

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  89. Professor Noel?? Dammit Anon, lets have a mature argument without descending into name calling shall we. Surely, whatever Noel said wasnt bad enough to compare him with Arsene.

    Blogs..you happy now? Lots of the name-calling and WUMmery is back :).

    Woohoo Trotts..Baseball season is on!

    SS - too soon for you to be back blogging on Arsenal mate, you should still be enjoying the world cup win.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Back to the blog matter. This is obviously a topic that clearly divides opinion. I understand both sides of the arguement but I'm surprised that there's such a hoopla ovet the use of the work fuck.

    There's no denying that Wazza needs to be pegged back a bit, but lets not get carried away. If we listen to the PC Brigades bleating and they get their way and start censoring everything then where will it all end? Before we know it we'll be on 15 second delays just in case Justin Timberlake decides to run onto the field and pop one of Wazza's tits out revailing his nipple rings and an "I luv Grannyz" tattoo. Now you wouldn't want to miss that now, would ya?

    We've already got tossers telling us where we can/can't smoke and other shit like that, are we really yearning for a Big Brother society?

    Be careful what you wish for.

    ReplyDelete
  91. TWD, welcome back.

    You asked for examples of profanity in other sports. You mentioned you follow tennis, "you can not be serious?", surely you must remember the legendary John McEnroe.

    He openly swore at the cameras and abussed the officiales.

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  92. H2 mate..spot on as always. all that binge drinking obviously provides clarity of thought.

    Apart from the fact that it provides entertainment value through the comments section, a blog on Wazza being himself is definitely blowing things out of proportion (Robbo - specially since the blogs are now spaced about 3 weeks apart). I would've thought Roys Revenge or the gunners giving up the title were more worthy contenders (and the cricket world cup as already pointed out).

    ReplyDelete
  93. Spit.

    The CL games are also broadcasted on free to air tv (NOS) here in the NL.

    ReplyDelete
  94. that wasnt such a nonsequitur originally noel, pressed wrong button

    free shoes!

    yes im happy, mate but then i was before ive looked nietzsches demon in the eye nd we've got a little arrangement wich gives me time off from the eternal recurrence every other wednesday

    ReplyDelete
  95. Holloway2Holland said...
    The CL games are also broadcasted on free to air tv (NOS) here in the NL.
    ---------------------------------------------
    Are they only for games that are fast and furious then?

    ReplyDelete
  96. I have my moments AH, few and far between as they are. That's why I'm glad there's this blog here so I can recall the good ones.
    I just skip over the rest of my dribble.

    Woy's Wevenge would have been a great blog, (according to Adam the FA's friend) Arsene's (per-lease) been done lately and cricket, well, that's not my cup of tea.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Actually I think there should be MORE swearing. When someone (like dear little Wazza) behaves like a cunt, they should be made to wear a shirt for two games that says "I am a cunt" in big letters.

    Haven't worked out how to explain it to the kiddies yet, but I sure it's not insyrmountable.

    ReplyDelete
  98. i think he should be made to drive around in a rover with "ginger cunt" written along the side in excrement

    ReplyDelete
  99. ok not a rover, thats going too far, lets say a hyundai (load of) pony

    ReplyDelete
  100. A definite improvement on the plan

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  101. Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson will fight the Football Association over Wayne Rooney's two-game ban for a foul-mouthed rant to a TV camera. Rooney was banned by English football's governing body on Monday for swearing at a camera after completing his hat-trick in Saturday's 4-2 win at West Ham.
    Full story: the Sun
    -------------
    Let the games begin.

    ReplyDelete
  102. G'day AH.

    2 days were more than enough to celebrate the win. Even players have returned back to their homes and enjoying their week off.

    Starting Friday is lottery cricket, T20, Indian Premier League.

    ReplyDelete
  103. I'd pay to see SAF v the FA in a no holds barred "fight" (to the death of course)

    The winner gets to either let Wazza swear at every camera from all concievable angles or gag him by propping a dead donkey in his gob.
    The loser gets a state funeral on national tv.
    Everyones a winner. (except the donkey)

    ReplyDelete
  104. Holloway2Holland said...

    TWD, welcome back.

    You asked for examples of profanity in other sports. You mentioned you follow tennis, "you can not be serious?", surely you must remember the legendary John McEnroe.

    He openly swore at the cameras and abussed the officiales.

    ------------------------------

    Ronnie O'Sullivan (I think) gave a recalcitrant ball that refused to pot the finger at a match that was on TV a couple of years ago. A swift fine, bollocking and public apology ensued.

    ReplyDelete
  105. In the name of all things holy, is the IPL here already ? One week after the world cup? and football players talk of fixture congestion.

    That being said, is anyone running a FCL for the IPL? there has got to be some fantasy league where I can finish in the top 5. Hopefully, not more than 4 will be interested in the IPL.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Good one Star.

    In boxing Tyson bit a piece of Holyfield's ear off.....

    but at least he didn't say the f word.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Rooney to SAF: Fuck off Fergie, you a'int good enoough. I am leaving the club.

    SAF to Rooney: Fuck off Rooney, what do you think of yourself?

    Rooney to SAF: Fuck off old man! Noisy neighbors are ready to pay me more money.

    SAF to Rooney: You want fucking more money. Sign this fucking 5 year contract and take your fucking money.

    Rooney to SAF: I have got my money, but why the fuck you still play fucking lazy Berba and that Little fuckin Pea.

    SAF to Rooney: I got your point Sir Rooney. That fucking Berbatov will not play any more. He will be on the bench and migrated to the D-Land in summer.

    Rooney to camera: I scored a hat-trick. I am fucking best striker in England. Fucking best player in the world. Fuck off!

    FA to Rooney: Fuck off Ronnie boy, you are suspended for 2 games.

    Rooney to Fergie: Fuck off SAF, go and fight FA for me now.

    Fergie to FA: Fuck All. That is what FA is!

    ReplyDelete
  108. AH, I checked the FCL version for IPL on cricinfo site. The UI is not so good. And I'm bored of losing. SO not interested this time. Too many teams to manage. Sorry.

    However you can still check - http://t20fantasy.espncricinfo.com/

    ReplyDelete
  109. H2H,

    Yes, I do remember the legendary John McEnroe. He's a bit of an oddity though. And he did get punished, quite often, for his tirades.

    Robbo,

    As you point out by referencing my comment I suppose we see eye-to-eye on this.

    I'm just sick of Rooney. Even if you like Rooney, or support (as I do) England, then surely this is actually a good thing for him? I remember that big smile on his face when he scored his first goal after quite a drought this current season. The invective and the churlishness of his rant are I think what has people (esp. the FA but fans too) so irritated.

    I can't think of a current player who seems to go so far out of his way to do the stupidest things and get away with it. At some point someone must have pulled Drogba aside and said "stop falling over like you've been shot" and he seems, for the most part, to have rid his game of that awful habit. Why doesn't Sir Alex do something along similar lines with Rooney, instead of defending him and pandering to him (and his fans)?

    Again, Rooney has no obligation to be a role model, no obligation to my hypothetical children; but he does have an obligation to follow the rules, and he repeatedly does not do. It's not his yelling down the fucking throat of a camera that this boils down to; it is repeatedly stupid behaviour, and stupid behaviour that seems to coincide when things are going the way he wants them to go. He's petulant and fucking overrated. He should go form his own club with Adebayor and Robinho.

    Speaking of players who do not seem capable of outgrowing their mental disorders, read this for a laugh:

    http://asia.eurosport.com/football/bundesliga/2010-2011/lehmann's-muppet-case_sto2736647/story.shtml

    ReplyDelete
  110. H2H,

    If I came into your pub, lost ten matches of 501, then won one match of 301, ran over to the other corner of the pub and screamed "Fuck you!" repeatedly, to anyone watching, went out the back, pissed in the alley...would you let me back into your pub?

    ReplyDelete
  111. If you were playing me for a tenner a game, then yes I would.

    ReplyDelete
  112. H2H,

    What if I did the above but you were paying me? And then the police came and arrested me for 2 days. Would you appeal the sentence for me?

    ReplyDelete
  113. H2H,

    What if I came with Jens Lehmann and a statue of Michael Jackson? Would you let me stay and tell Lehmann to fuck off?

    ReplyDelete
  114. ah Lehman, so mental you cant fucking not love him be there in your team.

    ReplyDelete
  115. TWD.

    Why would I pay you to play darts? And I can swear at people and piss in the alley on my own, I wouldn't need to hire you, especially if you brought Mad Jens with you, he's famous for whipping it out and having a lash.
    As for the MJ statue, well now were just being silly. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  116. Any predictions for Real v Spurs? 3-0, I say.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Not sure, but I've got a feeling that Spurs may get something out of this game, I saw Real's game last weekend and they weren't exactly great and are missing a few key players.

    ReplyDelete
  118. H - you're getting a statue of jens Lehman outside your pub?

    Fantastic!

    ReplyDelete
  119. the way I look at the rooney dilemma is like this

    ReplyDelete
  120. you couldn't see me holding my head sideways and going cross eyed could you?

    ReplyDelete
  121. I ordered one Blogs, but they sent me one of Kermit instead.

    ReplyDelete
  122. I wrote a letter of complaint stating I wanted a kraut not a frog.

    ReplyDelete
  123. look if everybody behaved like rooney it would be unbearable id be going around with an AK47 massaging all the rooney-likeys and if everybody went around massacring all the rooney-likeys that would also not be good and also there'd be none of them left do he should quit while hes ahead

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  124. As you some of you on here know, I work in Hamburg and was watching the game on Sky.de, at the time I still had the German commentary on.

    When Rooney had singlehandedly turned defeat into victory after his 3rd goal( I did add on this blog“respect to IOU” for doing it), the commentator said, as Rooney was running towards the goalline/touchline where the camera was(not on the pitch!!!), what a brilliant hattrick in 15 minutes, only to be shocked by his outburst. The camera was there initially to glow/share in Rooneys triumph(and yes the media et al can be there for other reasons). The guy is crazy from the neck upwards.

    We all swear, footballers swear, I’m sure refs swear, my wife swears sometimes, we can lipread, we’re not thick. IMO swearing during the game is part of the passion, they’re are swearing at each other, at opponents, at the ref(sometimes a bit too much), BUT to vent your spleen directly into a camera(with millions, yes millions, worldwide watching), note the camera wasn’t thrust into his face, he thrust his face into the camera.

    Excellent player tho he is most of the time, he(and IOU) deserve the punishment he gets.

    I for one, would not be expecting anyone to be so punished for swearing during the normal course of a game, unless it is OTT and receives a coloured card depending on the severity of the abuse.

    And as for those people on here and elsewhere who suggest the ref should have booked him, WHAT? Is the ref supposed to race after a player and try to get to the camera before the player gets there, don’t talk bollocks

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  125. old technology, H , the world just not ready for virtuale real ale-ity

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  126. Blimey can't remember when I did do much reading and it all makes sense n'all

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  127. H2H,
    Yeah, Real looked rubbish; but how did Spurs look on Saturday? Somewhat like us, I suppose.
    So what do you think, will Lehmann win his lawsuit?
    And for other Gunners here: WHY the FUCK don't we SHOOT! Fuck!

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  128. Blogidy, you been reading other blogs then?

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  129. TWD.

    Spurs weren't much good Saturday either, was not a good game to watch. But they're such underdogs for tonight even though I think there's not such a huge gulf between the two teams. 'Arry will have then beliving that they've got nothing to lose and should go out and have fun.

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  130. Theresa only one explanation for rooney behaviour

    He doesn't know its a camera

    Rooney thinks its one if the manu flunkies holding up a little piece of mirror so that he can commune narcissistically with his own reflection

    Hes talking to HIMSELF when he says "can you believe it, your own fans boo you" you only need to add, "wayne" to the end of that to see what's going on

    "you fucking beauty" well who else can he mean ....."you fucking beauty Wayne you won the match that will show them"

    this started as a monkey-with-a-piece-of-mirror type joke but I thinking could be onto something here

    The other possibility is he knows its a camera, but even MORE narcissistically he's sending himself a.message for when he plays back the recording

    since the prozzies his missus won't talk to him, his team mates don't like him, its a lonely life being a pariah, you got to have someone to talk to don't i?

    Yes.

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  131. BBC's Bond's blog has gone tonto with responses. The funniest ones are from IOU supporters saying that this is one more example of the FA picking on IOU and using IOU players to set an example for others. What tripe.

    I love it when Bond says, "A source close to _____ tells me that..." when what Bond is relaying is complete fucking common sense. "A source close to me says that Wayne Rooney is under pressure". A source close to my left testicle could have told me that.

    H2H,
    I don't think Spurs will get anything out of this.

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  132. Briliant theory blogs, if I were you I'd give him a call and offer your services as his lawyer and fight the ban.

    If the "talking to himself" defence doesn't work you can always advise him to tell the panel to go fuck themselves. Make sure there's a camera in the room and you can use the "talking to himself" defence again. You'll have a guarenteed job for years.

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  133. He can claim he has Tourette syndrome. That would work. Come to think of it I think he might have it...

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  134. Anyone remember the TV documentary featuring none other than the then-England Manager Graham "Fuck, Fucking" Taylor?

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  135. hoe far do you think I could push this new boundary of jurisprudence, H

    The famous Joe Barton Defence est. as legal precedent in all case of gbh "mlud I wasn't punching him I was punching me"

    or in the case of s certain cocked scouser...."i wasnt punching no dj like I wez punchin Steve me ay ay ay"

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  136. tourettes sufferers - what makes them tic?

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  137. Anon that doc ended his career I've never seen it but I've seen the Ricky tomlinson spoof

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  138. blogs let's not make fun of Tourettes sufferers. Tim Howard is one. Never seen him go tonto in a camera.

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  139. Blogs, we'd make a great para-legal team.
    Well you can do the para-legals, I'll be the paralytic, burp.

    Using this defence we could change public opinion of Thierry Henry claiming that he didn't handle the ball, he handled his.........

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  140. TWD - You should get that source checked out. Having anything next to your testicles than can talk cannot be good.

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  141. TWD.

    I had a quick look at the comments section of the Bond piece. United fans claiming injustice, rugby fans posting how great their game is, footy fans telling the toffs to f off and Jacks and Adam discussing PSB.

    It's deja vu all over again.

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  142. H2H

    And 6 bloody pages of it!

    Anfield:

    I did have it checked out and it's no more benign than Bobd's source.

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  143. Evening all. I think the solution is to treat them like school boys. Put them in detention and give them lines. Get Rooney to write "I must not swear at the television cameras" 1000 times and he's not allowed to play again until he's finished. He'd probably end up missing the rest of the season just trying to remember where he left his crayons.

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  144. I once had chocolate sauce near my testicles but I don't think that's what TWD was referring to and it certainly never talked.

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  145. Colch,

    Read Bond's 'blog' and have a quick sample of the 7 pages of nonsense that follows. What is the average age of people on the BBC blogs? The average IQ?

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  146. Had a look TWD but got bored very quickly. Wasn't a great deal of thought going into the arguments. I think the average age and average IQ are pretty similar and both are probably in single figures.

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  147. Adebuywhore goal. That was always on the cards.

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  148. Oh dear Peter Crouch. Not very intelligent.

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  149. What a pillock. Well we seem to play at our very best when we're down to 10, we've got no choice but to do so now.

    Fuck it I'm off to bed. Got a 5am start anyway. I'll sift through the wreckage tomorrow.

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  150. AnfieldHopeful said...
    TWD - You should get that source checked out. Having anything next to your testicles than can talk cannot be good.
    ------------------------------------------
    Unless it's a lady friend.

    Peter fucking Crouch. What were you thinking? I thought we had a chance of keping it close until he decided to go all Paul Scholes on us. Hopefully we can restore some respectability back at the Lane, but I think the Champions League adventure has come to an end. Still, always the Europa League next year!

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  151. Kinda feel OK being an Arsenal fan tonight.

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  152. I was also following the Inter game and would like to mention something that I thought was match turning, match winning.

    Right at the start of the 2nd half, Manuel Neuer made a blinder of a save to deny Inter taking lead with 3:2 and after weathering the storm, Schalke reverted to score themselves.

    My fucking point being, HE the Keeper made sure the defending champions are most definitely out of the CL.

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  153. Rooney... Shoot the little fucker and let God sort him out.... problem solved.

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  154. Spurs werwe worse than Arsenal tonight. Even allowing for Crouch's dismissal (which I missed) they were bloody terrible... they need a miracle in the second leg but I don't see them getting one.

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  155. Yeah I think it's game over Bo. Losing your outlet early on to stupid tackles kind of fucks up the whole game plan that they would have had. And then it's just a case of getting tired chasing the ball around. What is it with England strikers acting like hot-headed twats at the mo? Hopefully we can put a little push in and come 4th, but I think the sides ahead won't drop too many points now, so the Europa League will have to do next year and see which players stay and who we can attract. It's certainly been a great adventure!

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  156. Well that's us screwed then. Dunno what the fuck Crouch was on, he's not normally one to act like a dick head like that.

    Can't really argue with what 'Arry said. We had a fight on our hands when it was 11 vs 11, playing with 10 for eighty minutes we had no fucking chance.

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  157. twd you're right tourettrs is a depressing and debilitating condition and definitely not to be laughed at, out of sympathy for the sufferers. Actually mate of mine had a mild version but when he went to a tourettrs clinic for treatment they told him to fuck off

    I didn't know Tim Howard has it, almost certainly Gazza as well but I know Samuel Johnson was a sufferer. Early editions of hisidictionary had entries like this....


    lexicographer: a writer of fucking dictionaries; a harmless cunt twat

    and, famously...

    oats: A   grain, which in England is WANKER generally given to horses, but in BOLLOCKS Scotland supports the ARSE people.

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  158. Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger will sign Charlton's young left-back Carl Jenkinson. Arsenal will pay a fee that will rise to over £1m for the teenager, who has played a handful of first team games for the Addicks but is out of contract at the end of the season.
    ===============================================================

    Well done Gunners, exactly what we need, another bloody teenager to help us win fuck all in the future.

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  159. Holloway2Holland said...
    TWD.

    I had a quick look at the comments section of the Bond piece. United fans claiming injustice, rugby fans posting how great their game is, footy fans telling the toffs to f off and Jacks and Adam discussing PSB.

    It's deja vu all over again.

    --------------------------------------

    The comments on there racked up faster than X-Factor sob stories

    It was just like being on a BBC Robbo blog. - No JDR though which is a big miss as I'd love him to start criticising Bond, Magowan and McNulty's blogs as their reaction would be comedy

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  160. I think signing Jenkinson is an indication that Clichy is off at the end of the season - Gibbs first choice and this lad the reserve

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  161. Rooney was wrong, should be ounsihed but a ban is excessive. a fine of 2 weeks wages and a warning on future conduct would be sufficient.

    More worrying I think is the fact that Balotelli and Cashley have escaped FA and Police action but mainly the West Ham fans that racially abused the families of their own players.

    Trevor Brooking should be more concerned with that not the potty mouth of Rooney.

    Also can anyone confirm the truth of the rumour that the Daily Sport has gone out of business?

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  162. tone1947 said...

    BUT to vent your spleen directly into a camera(with millions, yes millions, worldwide watching), note the camera wasn’t thrust into his face, he thrust his face into the camera.

    --------------------------------------------------

    Have to disagree Tone, he ran over to the fans and stayed where he was because if he runs too close to the fans he gets booked. The camera man obviously ran onto the pitch, hes basically on the goal line taking the footage.

    --------------------------------------------------

    adampsb said...

    More worrying I think is the fact that Balotelli and Cashley have escaped FA and Police action but mainly the West Ham fans that racially abused the families of their own players.

    --------------------------------------------------

    Wouldn't surprise me Adam if the FA are making a mountain out of a molehill here to deflect attention away from the topic of racism. They do brag quite a lot that they've more or less eradicated racism from the English game where countries like Spain, Italy and Russia are miles behind.

    On the topic of United's defence of Rooney, its not gonna work in my opinion. They should say they don't agree with it but accept it because hes only gonna get the ban extended. The cameraman was basically on the pitch though which I can't really remember seeing anywhere else. So I think Sky should get penalised as well.

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  163. Noel said...
    AnfieldHopeful said...
    TWD - You should get that source checked out. Having anything next to your testicles than can talk cannot be good.
    ------------------------------------------
    Unless it's a lady friend.
    ----------------------------------------

    surely you dont want a lady friend in that prime position wasting her time talking.

    ReplyDelete
  164. West Ham are lining up a surprise £1.5m bid for Chelsea midfielder Jack COCK, who is currently on loan at Burnley.

    NEVA HEARD OF HIM B4

    ReplyDelete
  165. AnfieldHopeful said...
    Noel said...
    AnfieldHopeful said...
    TWD - You should get that source checked out. Having anything next to your testicles than can talk cannot be good.
    ------------------------------------------
    Unless it's a lady friend.
    ----------------------------------------

    surely you dont want a lady friend in that prime position wasting her time talking.
    ----------------------------------------------
    You just said something that could talk, no mention of it talking whilst down there. Maybe she could be talking about what she's cooking for tea. Nice use of the word 'whilst' there, seeing as I'm an English professor.

    ReplyDelete
  166. Morning all. And mourning Star and Noel. Big game in the FFL H2H this weekend with my customary gifting of 3 points going to Trott.
    I see that both Man Utd and Man City want to buy Juan Mata from some spainsh club. I can almost hear the Sun headline writers rubbing their hands in glee at the prospect of "What's the Mata", "Mata of fact" and "It doesn't Mata"

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  167. Thanks for your condolences Colch. I've been wearing black all day. Looked like Johnny Cash except, er, alive, and stuff.

    I tried to think of some more Mata puns, but I'm shit at them so didn't manage any. No doubt blogs will come on later and reel off about 20.

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  168. Jesus I'm bored. Could someone please start a fight with someone? We haven't had a "your mas your das ma" argument in AGES!

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  169. Rod,

    your mas your das ma whos a Nazi!

    there.

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  170. I'd just like to wish Chelsea good luck for the game tonight.

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  171. I've got a big problem with tonight's game. It's a question of who do I hate less. On one side there's Drogba, Terry and Cole who by any standards are a trio of w**kers. And on the other side you have Rooney and SAF who are undoubtably a pair of c**ts. Going by poker rules three of a kind beats a pair but when the pair are those two I'm not so sure. Maybe i'll just hope it descends into a massive fight and both teams get banned with UEFA promoting Colchester and Port Vale to take their places.

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  172. Noel I'm now straining my grey mata for puns

    rod your Matas your data

    Jesus Christ the state of some of these women

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  173. This is fucking brilliant

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymXnDoYx0GE&feature=related

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  174. Afternoon all.

    Well, once again I was wrong, I really thought Spurs would give it a go last night, but they melted like snow in the hot sun. Special thanks will go out to Timmy Crouch but Fanny Fart also deserves a mention for getting a silly booking which I believe lead to Arry swapping him for the totally inefective Defoe at HT.
    It was always going to be hard, but trying to overturn a four goal deficit at Shyte Fart Lane is almost verging on the supernatural and if they do manage it there will probably be calls from Uefa to have them all burned at the stake for witchcraft.
    Ah well, never mind, there's always next year.....
    Or maybe not.

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  175. colch,

    allow me to make it easier for you.

    G. Nev, though retired, is still available for selection in ManU team till end of the season.

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  176. If he's not very good he'll be dubbed a Mata-bore.

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  177. Proof that crime in this country is out of control courtesy of the EDP........

    http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/donkeys_in_norwich_have_their_space_hoppers_stolen_1_855902

    I can almost picture the sad little faces on the donkeys now they have nothing to bounce around their field on.

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  178. mornin' all, a miracle to report, the local supermarket has started selling pies, mushroom and onion to start with but there'll be a campaign to add some meat starting very soon, oh, and spurs got spanked, hard luck Star, there's always next year.

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  179. Those pies need beefing up Trott.

    But any kind of pie is better then no pie I suppose.

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  180. exackerly H, i have one warming in the oven for breakfast, look out for the new book "The Pie Diet"

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  181. Colch, I've got the same problem with tonights game, Chavs or IOU? It's like having to chose between a poo sandwich or a warm glass of piss. To choose either will leave you with a dirty taste in your mouth.

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  182. trott if you buy one of them fisherman pies you can put your own meat and gravy into it

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  183. Spitfire said...
    colch,

    allow me to make it easier for you.

    G. Nev, though retired, is still available for selection in ManU team till end of the season.

    ---
    While on the subject of the living dead, did you see that Jeremie Aliadiere turned out for the Arsenal reserves last night?

    What's that scrapping sound I hear?

    Oi Arsene, put that barrel down.

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  184. "fishermans friend" pies

    don't you hate it when you fuck up a punch line like that.

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  185. Blog, don't FUCK worry CUNT about TWAT it!

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  186. H sounds like the drink and cuisine in your establishment leaves something to be desired

    Do you also sell vomit flavour crisps?

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  187. I'm sure there is a joke about ARSEnal available somewhere about dirty tastes in the mouth but by lexicon of jokes about gay A2M is non-existent so please draw your own conclusion about any Gunners as a result (present company excluded of course)

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  188. Torres Syndrome is the worse condition an indiscernable micro tic just before shooting on goal

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