Sunday, 29 May 2011

The Beatification of Barca

There are times in domestic English football matches when a team that is comfortably ahead makes a great play of just keeping the ball - and their astonished fans, unused to such serenity, holler ‘Ole!’ with every pass.

It strikes me that Barcelona start a football match in that mode. If they were an English club, the supporters would have suffered a collective bout of laryngitis after twenty minutes.

What my Mrs will be wearing this year

If a football were a drug, and my lass would contend that it is, the chances of most English clubs being done for possession would be virtually nil. Certainly, there’d be very little chance of proving that the ball was not going to be given away cheaply.

To extend this analogy too far, Barca can rightly claim that despite being found with the ball about their person almost all the time, its possession was only ever for personal use.

Only Arsenal can even suggest that they have got anywhere near the style of the Barca pass master class. Unfortunately, the Gooners seem unable to grasp the concept that doing f-all with three-quarters of possession is worse than having no possession at all. It’s a poor imitation. Arsenal are Leona Lewis to Barca’s Beyonce.

Nevertheless, I’ve grown tired of the Catalan love-in recently. The prevailing opinion seemed to be that Lionel Messi was a dinky little Angel of God and Xavi, Iniesta and Villa his blue and red striped cherubim. In short, here was the divine in football form. Football folk everywhere tottered down the aisles and knelt in their pundit’s pews catatonically muttering the same prayer as every other member of the congregation:

‘Our Barca,
Who Art in Heaven,
Lionel be thy name.
Thy kings shall come,
Thy Wembley won,
On turf by the best eleven.
Give us this day our Abidal,
And forgive us our Messi-passes,
as we forgive those that Iniesta against us,
Lead us not into Tottenham, but deliver us from Arsenal,
For thine is the Pique, the Puyol and the Pedro,
for Alves and Valdes, Amen.’


But there were those of us who, having watched the festival of diva-dives and devilry at the Bernabeu, wondered whether they fully deserved their status as Soccer deities.

Well, after Saturday night, we’ll just have to concur with the best manager the game has seen – this is the best club side we’ve ever seen.

It’d be easy to put that down to the magic of Messi. Much was made of how to stop him but frankly he’s as hard to pin down as a Nick Clegg policy statement. He’s more elusive than Sepp Blatter (and Jeez is that greased pig gonna slip through the hands of justice again? I wouldn’t be surprised.)

"Big bag of cash? No! Where could I be hiding a big bag of cash?"

What I like most about Messi is the fact that most of the time he just shifts the ball on. Until he finds a bit of space for himself he’s just another pint-sized protector of the ball. Not Cristiano Ronaldo, in other words. When he does get space to run with it – well, he twists and turns unstoppably like a fast-flowing stream in evening sunshine.

Clearly he was the headline act, but there’s still something about Caspar the Friendly Ghosting Midfielder Andres Iniesta that makes me go a bit wooey. I’ve never seen weight of pass like it. Xavi too. Yes they’re just tapping it this way and that but there’s barely a moment when a player has to check his stride or work hard to recover.

Contrast it with United, who knocked it about as best they could but always resembled a snooker player gradually getting more and more out of position until eventually all the bloke could do was whack it and hope for the best.

Not since me and a few mates joined in a kickabout on Acklam Park with a bunch of casual keepy-upping 14-year-olds has there been such patent one-sidedness in a match. Like our keeper on that day, you half-expected a very wooden Van de Sar to start trying to edge the goalposts together while the ball was up the other end. Trouble was it wasn’t up there long enough.

And here’s where Barca outdo every other team. It’s not the keeping the ball so much as the getting it back. When not throwing themselves like presidential bodyguards in front of the latest Barca onslaught, Rio and Vidic were hurriedly tapping it sideways to each other or as more tiny Catalans swarmed about their knees. It reminded me of this bit in Barbarella. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m__CJdolrhY (Rio Ferdinand is played by Jane Fonda.)

Having said that, I thought that Rooney pecked around tirelessly for opportunity like an anxious free-range chicken and made the most of what came his way and the United goal was a beaut.

Too many players were off the game, not least Park who couldn’t have found a bargain in a pound-shop, and Valencia who couldn’t have found the pound-shop in the first place.

Carrick was part of the bodies-on-the-line brigade. And Giggs was so dizzied by the Barca boys around him that he was ready to call for a stupor-injunction.

Fergie had the good grace to more or less shrug at the defeat. Cos to be honest what can you do? No other team in Europe would’ve fared any better. You almost sympathise with Mourinho’s tactics:

‘You won’t have much of the ball and yet you’ll still have the desire to kick something. In the absence of any alternatives, kick them.’

So yes, there’s no doubt the Pope’ll be beatifying Barca’s behemoths soon. It’s partly club ethos – Abidal lifting the trophy demonstrated that perfectly – and it’s partly happy accident that Xavi, Iniesta, Messi et al have arrived at this same moment in time.

All I know is that to begrudge this team anything is about as mean-spirited a sentiment as you can imagine. I suggest you join me, Barca fans, and millions of Scousers everywhere in hailing a brilliant performance by a wonderful side.

331 comments:

  1. Congratiolations to barca, but i was sick of the dominance so much so that i started to subconciously support man utd. The same happened to my friend who chose not to continue eatching the game on "religious" grounds (supporting manure is afterall a sin) and turned of the tv set and went to bed. I chose to sin.

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  2. Agreed, it was good to see how the game can be played by a team of superstars, with not one diva amongst them.

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  3. Good stuff Robbo, I loved the video link and the prayer was top notch.


    I thought Utd did well.......

    For about 10-12 minutes, after that it was just embarrasing. That gobshite Evra loves to talk about "Men against Boys", well if his team were the "Men", then they were a trans-gender, cross dressing, up the jaxxy taking version of "Men".

    To be honest I thought the game was done and dusted when Barca scored their first, fair play to Utd for clawing one back, but in the second half it was all way one way traffic. The United defence was a shambles and they seemed to panic every time they managed to get a sniff of the ball, it was like a childrens pass the parcel game, they couldn't wait to give it away.

    In the end the best team didn't only win, but they won easily, I thought Utd would of put up more of a fight, but it wasn't to be. Congrats to Barca and their dignified manager.

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  4. Just how poor is the Prem!?!?!?

    Great fun seeing the spanking - nice to share the love - or at least the feeling of defeat.

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  5. fbh, I don't think last night's match reflects badly on the PL, lets not forget that all 4 Premiership teams made it to the knock-out stages. Arsenal beat Barca at the Emirates and were drawing 1-1 at Camp Nou before RvP was sent off.
    Barca are a phenomenen and would of beaten any team last night if they had played like that.

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  6. The Men of United of Manchester came across the X-Men.

    The Shape-shifters.

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  7. Seriously though, Arsenal may well be barca-lite, but when it comes to closing barca down, they did manage to do it with a little more credit than United.

    I believe fergie saw it and he will remedy it.

    Schweinsteiger? Nasri? Schjneider?

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  8. barcas orgasmotron was on a limp pre ejaculate setting for me cos I Think they're a bit boring . sorry

    Man utd would have needed a positronic ray to stop messi.

    Arsene wenger reminds me of Professor Ping (played by Marcel Marceau), who tells his team (Pygar the flightless angel) it is capable of flight, but merely lacks the will. He's wrong tho.

    Fifa would be the mathmos.

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  9. G'day all.

    Barca outplayed Man U and deserved 3-1 win.

    @H2H - I think FBH is right. Last night match shows the difference between the champions of respective leagues.

    This PL season was not the best season. It was way below the standards..# of goals scored by Top 3 teams and the points eventually earned to win championship was far too less than what we have seen previously.

    Barca > (Top 3 of all leagues)

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  10. Fair play to Barcelona but I didn't really enjoy the match, where were the incidents? excitement? grit? etc. Barca the new Federer?

    This is Mostly not redundant, what's with this profile thing?

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  11. Of all the match summaries I have read, the unerringly accurate tippy tappy v snooker player analogy is the most appropriate yet.

    But we all wanted the likes of White/Trump/Higgins (whirlwind variety) to win didn't we, not the robotic potting machines of Davis/Hendry/Higgins (ladbrokes variety).

    Thats what I don't like about Barcelona, they are un-exitingly perfect. Like a beat-machine to Def Leopard's one handed drummer.

    I would rather watch Blackpool every day.

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  12. Barcelona are brilliant, But i mean if their leauge had the likes of BPL teams like Bolton, Blackburn, Chelsea all the tough tackling teams would these barca players be fit ? or do they get the same treatment in spain ?

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  13. Barca are by far the best team in the World. Lineker was right, they turned up and won!

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  14. Just read an interview with Giggs - he says that although he likes Manchester he does miss wales from time to time

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  15. Yes Barca are really goozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz_zzzzzzzzz_zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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  16. Evening all. Shock news just in. That slippery, corrupt bastard has got away with it again..........

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13590264.stm

    It's almost as if he's in charge of the organisation that set up it's own ethics committee to investigate him. I mean that's ridiculous isn't it. Oh hang on...

    Colch

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  17. And a real shock that the only candidate to oppose Spetic Blatter has been suspended.

    Colch

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  18. Obviously that should've been Septic.

    Ducking productive ticks

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  19. G'day all

    I already stated my views about Barca in the previous blog. No need to add any more. Good blog Robbo.

    Jack, a perfect Sunday wasn't to be (sportswise.) Ma***es 19.9 105 - Eagles 7.11 53. Totally outplayed. I dislike those fuckers more than Un**ed.

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  20. I HATE BARCELONA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    There I've said it. And I'll say it again....

    I HATE BARCELONA!!!!!!!!!!!

    I don't like them as people and I think that at least 8 of the team would give Thierry Henry a run for his money to be named cheating weasel of the year. I think someone needs to give Sergio Biscuits a proper kicking so he knows what proper pain is. Lionel Messi is lucky and Dani Alves is a twat.

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  21. Nice little blog Robbo, and good to see pics of scantily clad ladies appearing again.

    I enjoyed the match the other day - I wasn't too fussed about who won. I probably leaned more towards Barca cos the only thing worse than a Utd fan is a smug Utd fan, but the match was a good one to watch, and I think the 3-1 scoreline flattered Utd. 5-0 would have been justified. Valencia was terrible, Park was ineffective, Carrick was outnumbered, and Giggs and then Scholes looked like 36/37 year olds. Berbatov's alledged hissy fit was the icing on the cake for me.

    Blatter is a cunt. And so is Lewis Hamilton. I was wondering how long it would be before the 'Is it cos I is black' excuse came out. He ran two blokes off the road and didn't see anything wrong with it. I wish he'd fuck off and take his missus and his dad with him.

    Noel

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  22. OK Barca were really so much better than Manu.

    Too many players didnt turn up and for me Giggs was the main absentee,Park did his damndest in the first 10 mins, but after that only one team in it.

    I renember seeing a stat after about 15 mins 100 - 35ish? pass completion I thought so what (Arsenal tippy tappy like) but then 1-0 Barca, Rooneys goal from start to finish top moment

    Fairplay to SAF, he knew he was well beaten

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  23. Tottenham are set to announce the signing of Aston Villa goalkeeper Brad Friedel on a two-year deal to replace the error-prone Heurelho Gomes as the club's number one for next season.

    ---------------------------

    Safe pair of hands but a year or so down the line we're going to be after a new keeper.

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  24. Atletico Madrid goalkeper David de Gea is expected to arrive at Manchester United by the end of the week in a £17m deal, with midfielders Ashley Young of Aston Villa and Jack Rodwell of Everton next on Ferguson's shopping list.
    ------------------------------------

    Morning all. Not sure that Young and Rodwell are really the calibre of players that Man U need if they want to compete with Barcelona next season.

    Colch

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  25. Friedel is just ok. And at 40, I am not sure he is less error prone than Gomes.

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  26. I have heard that Nasri is heading up to OT.

    Sad news really.

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  27. Spit, you cant blame him, he wants to win something.

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  28. Oh, I dont blame him Bo. I blame the powers that be at Arsenal that have let it come to the point where he's only 6 months away from negotiating a deal for himself and walk out for nada at end of next season.

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  29. Wenger has Fabregas bluffed but he obviously can't fool Nasri.... Nasri wants more than promises.

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  30. Same thing happened with Flamini. They allowed his contract to run down and in the end neither had a holding midfielder nor got any cash for him to fill the hole.

    That one person leaving alone set the kids a couple years back.

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  31. wouldn't it be hilarious if SAF loses the plot and becomes Wengers mark 2..... buying in a team of tipsy tsppy lightweights - gibbs, modric, young, sneijder, nasri - all excellent happy crappy tippy tappy players of course but no match for barca

    It would only work if he ALSO gets he Ronaldo back as a spearheaded impact player. And tests not going to happen.

    Messis the man.

    Without messi I can't see barca winning owt either. Without a cutting edge I wonder how effective the endless -yawn- passing game would be. I suspect if you stuck messi into the stoke team people would be saying "4-4-2" with big lads is the future of football

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  32. I'm a bit late I know, but Barca for me are a bit like a box of cream cakes - great for the first one or two, but quickly become a bit sickly.

    Oh, and this is well funny:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13592684.stm

    Finally It's Falling Apart!!!

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  33. this of course is why the prem clubs are plotting to reconfigure the youth academies , so they can attract englands best talent. Barca has the whole.of Spain as catchment area, man u has one hours drive around OT ...

    The flaw in thud plan is that there are 5 clubs who have realistic chance of winning the league ( therefore can attract the best youth players)

    the oil billionaires st Man city and chelsea have no interest in nurturing young English players - takes too long - but a) they now have to, with the new rules and b) they have to make it more difficult for the competition

    So I can't ever see the concentration of hone grown talent thrive got at barca ever happening here. Mores the pity for the England squad

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  34. Suspended Fifa vice-president Jack Warner has made public an e-mail that claims Mohamed Bin Hammam "bought" the 2022 World Cup finals for Qatar.
    ......
    This is the tsunami he promised, roger. Blatters position anywhere except in fifas alternative universe would be untenable

    The UK government has , subtly, weighed in to exact revenge on these fucks

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  35. The e-mail, seemingly from Fifa general secretary Jerome Valcke, also questions why Asian confederation chief Bin Hammam was running for Fifa president.
    Valcke wrote: "[Hammam] thought you can buy Fifa as they bought the World Cup".
    :.........

    er.....what's the diff?

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  36. England headed FIFA.alt World Football Tourney 2018?

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  37. Warner has also accused Blatter of making a gift of computers and an unauthorised $1m (£607,000) to Concacaf officials.

    and Oz want their money back

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  38. Oh good, the House of Shit is finally falling down into the toilet it quite rightly belongs in.

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  39. German cucumber sandwiches for the fifa meeting, please, chef

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  40. most of the victims of these deadly infections, transmitted by cucumbers, seem to be women. Now you may be wondering why is it so that women are coming to a much closer contact with cucumbers than men?

    I have a hypothesis, its because women use cucumbers for ...

















    face masks.

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  41. Fatal Internal Fucking About means Fairplay Is Far Away, or Fellatio Injures Fireman Alan

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  42. Does anyone else think that this whole mess won't make one bit of difference to the FIFA elections this week. The only change will be Blatter getting re-elected unopposed.
    Think it's time for the sweet FA to withdraw from FIFA unless there are sweeping changes to the organisation. I'm sure that if one association pull out then others will follow.

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  43. The cucumber thing puts me in mind of that Ian Dury line "You should never 'old a candle if yer don't know where it's bin"

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  44. Re FIFA, Clive has a good idea

    http://sportdiscuss.wordpress.com/2011/05/30/finally-its-falling-apart/

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  45. Shock horror - EUFA's favourite team, sponsored by FIFA's candidate beat a team of old men.

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  46. would be nice if Barca (guardiola in particular) could win a CL that did not have blood on it, as Morinho said.

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  47. Bit harsh of Cardiff to sack Dave Jones.

    Friedel is not the player I was hoping for - he's 40, hasn't had the best season and is certainly no improvement on Cudicini. Hope it's just gossip.

    Profile is fucked again.

    Noel

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  48. 2-0 to the sheep botherers.

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  49. 30 May 2011 13:43
    Anonymous said... “Profile is fucked again.”

    No I’m not!

    I watched the first 15 minutes of the game and then went and had a nap — predicted 3-1 Barca victory, even though I support Man Utd!

    SAF should have left Giggs (overwhelmed by the timing of the MPs pronouncement), Park (had done his running around), Chicharito (too soon for such a big occasion) and Valencia on the bench — Scholes, Nani, Berbatov (not even in the squad!) and Fletcher should have started.

    Que sera sera and all that...

    I am not Anonymous, I am Profile)

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  50. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  51. Blimey - that Championship playoff is a veritable Roylacoaster!

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  52. 'One-way traffic barely does this justice right now. Reading have set up camp in the Swansea half, complete with plumbing and working kitchen appliances. What a game.'

    Rofl.

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  53. Even the cricket's livening up!

    This author was removed by a post.

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  54. Swansea promoted. Congrats to them.

    Congrats to Reading for really making a match of things in the second half.

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  55. hope they enjoy their one and only year in the prem , star

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  56. Oh well - Reading isnt as far as Swansea - whihc is very far from Smoggyville

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  57. Q: How much will Swans fans enjoy driving past Cardiff en route to EPL away matches? A: A LOT.

    Cruel, but hilarious.

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  58. Brilliant football and cricket this afternoon. Congrats to Swansalona on making the Premier League and well done to Tremlett and Swann for overcoming Strauss's negative captaincy to win the match for England. I really think Strauss has to be dropped as captain if we want to be the No.1 team in the world. Even in Australia last winter he was defensive when we had them 7 or 8 down. We need a ruthless captain who will put his foot on the oppositions throats when they're down not ease off.

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  59. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13596308.stm

    Sepp utilises the ostrich approach and buries his head in the sand. I'm sure he sits in meetings with his fingers in his ears saying "La la la I'm not listening". Cheating, corrupt wanker that he is.

    Oi Blatter you;re a cunt!

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  60. A direct quote from Septic Blatter.........

    "When I entered Fifa 36 years ago, we had no problems. We had no problems until 1998"

    Coincidentally 1998 was the year that Blatter was elected as president.

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  61. I just looked up "delusion" in the dictionary and themes a little picture of Blatter there

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  62. Every time we shot our muck we have enough to populate UK France Germany and Spain.
    Can you tell Im watching telly?

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  63. great stuff Robbo.

    Fergie'll build his own team of world beaters by the time he's 80, you just watch! Man Utd will win the 2022 World Cup which will be relocated to Salford from Qatar with group games in Horwich and St. helens.

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  64. Announcements today from adidas and Coca-Cola claiming that current events at FIFA are damaging the game.

    Damaging the game or damaging their brands?

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  65. Scholes has done the right thing in retiring.

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  66. one of THE finest midfileders ever to grace an England and possibly a Manchester United shirt.

    Well Played Paul Scholes.

    Never well tackled, Paul Scholes.

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  67. Sevilla are set to offer Arsenal £8m for unsettled Brazilian midfielder Denilson.
    ---

    and sold.

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  68. While Manchester United fans lined up in the drizzle for their bus parade, Barcelona centre-half Gerard Pique - fresh from snipping off the Wembley nets for his collection - took dancing lessons from girlfriend and pop-star Shakira on stage at the club's Champions League victory celebrations back in Spain.
    ---
    This git has won the world cup, the euros, 4 league titles, 3 CLs AND he's banging the hips that dont lie?

    I say we do him in for stealing the net from wembley Goal.

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  69. he must be gutted he left old trafford

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  70. Meanwhile, pictures have surfaced on Twitter of Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard celebrating United's defeat by the Spanish giants.

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    And that's news/surprising why?

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  71. Spitfire said...
    While Manchester United fans lined up in the drizzle for their bus parade, Barcelona centre-half Gerard Pique - fresh from snipping off the Wembley nets for his collection - took dancing lessons from girlfriend and pop-star Shakira on stage at the club's Champions League victory celebrations back in Spain.
    ------------
    Talk about moving to BIGGER better things... eat your shorts Ronaldo

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  72. HA HA
    Man Useless got dumped on. Brilliant. Theres a surprising lack of red shirted buffoons coming on here defending them. Men v boys was about right. But It was possibly the most boring match ive ever seen. I prefer 2 teams to have a right good go at each other, i ended looking at Sheds on the laptop during the final. I thought Potatohead did well not to loose it and get a red card. I liked his telling off from Taggart telling him who the boss is.

    I just hope this tippy-tappy birds footy rubbish dont come to these shores

    Korgull The Exterminator

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  73. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/13599008.stm
    ------------
    I support FA's stand. Voting should not take place when there is no transparency in the FIFA systems.

    Also, I think election should happen only if there are more than one person applying for the post. In this case it has been Septic Bladder alone going ahead and wooing African and American chiefs to help him for another term at office. He is 75 and I think time is right to give his bladders some rest.

    Go FA!!!

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  74. Just back from a weekend camping trip from shenandoah river/blue ridge mountains. What did I miss ? ooh..did ManU win the CL as yet ?

    WTF - Pique is banging shakira ? is there anything the catalans cant do ?

    I do hope liverpool dont buy ashley young ... need someone quicker and not tainted by by being called an english star. I'd much rather have albrighton than young.

    Korgull - can I take it you're not a Man u supporter? Your comments weren't really clear one way or the other. I think giving us your frank views on Man U would provide good fodder for a mature debate.

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  75. Ok AH, ive been sussed. Im not A Man U fan.
    Would a mature debate include this?....Clearly the best team in this years EPL couldnt get close.
    So how do you think an overtly physical, aggressive team of no-nonsense chaps such as the legendary Don Revie's Leeds team of late 60s/early 70s playing on a terrible mud bath pitch have coped against this lot?
    Clearly comparison is difficult, and I realise most of that Leeds team would be sent off in this era, but would they have done a better job than Mourinho tried with Real? Is this just sour grapes and envy? Am i mad?

    Korgull

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  76. Spit, when you were speaking of Game of Thrones the other day it piqued my interest so I downloaded it....I agree with you, it's a great show.

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  77. Glad you like it Bo.


    I also like 'the big bang theory' if geeky puns float your boat.

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  78. Is the "Big Bang theory" anything to do with Pique and Shakira?

    Jedi

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  79. Afternoon Chaps.

    Spit, The Big Bang Theory is the best sit-com in years. I've got the first 3 seasons on DVD and have seen all the aired episodes of season 4.
    I gotta great site, which alows you to watch a shit load of series a few hours after their first tv airing, check it out if you're interested;

    http://tv.blinkx.com/

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  80. Murray won. Manunited beating barca?? I was laughing even before the kick off.

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  81. SS11 said...
    G'day all.

    Barca outplayed Man U and deserved 3-1 win.

    @H2H - I think FBH is right. Last night match shows the difference between the champions of respective leagues.

    This PL season was not the best season. It was way below the standards..# of goals scored by Top 3 teams and the points eventually earned to win championship was far too less than what we have seen previously.
    ----
    I agree that Barca are far superior to Man U, however I don't think that reflects badly on the PL as a whole. La Liga is a two horse race with all the predictability and "excitement" of the SPL, by Christmas it was already clear who the top 2 would be.

    Just because the top teams in the PL scored less goals or amassed less points, it doesn't neccasarily mean they got worse, by the same reasoning you could argue that the other teams are getting better.

    I personaly greatly enjoyed this season. Every team was capable of beating every team. The relagation battle went to the wire and only 8 points seperated 10th place from the drop zone.

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  82. http://theballisround.co.uk/2011/05/31/how-was-it-for-you-part-9-fancy-dan-and-the-drumming-gorilla/

    Rather enjoyed this article.

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  83. Swansea's players will celebrate promotion to the Premier League by joining Rod Stewart on stage at the Liberty Stadium during his concert there on Wednesday night.
    Full story: Daily Star
    ----
    That makes sense, a Welsh team celebrating their promotion to the top English league with a London born Scot.

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  84. We're all Europeans together H2.

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  85. Europeans are froggies and spics and krauts and bubbles, we're Brits mate. :)

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  86. The Daily Fail enhances it's reputation;

    http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/The-Daily-Mail-plagiarizes-Dirty-Tackle?urn=sow-wp2101

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  87. Jacks..I know we are not above name calling on this blog mate, but to call me a European is a bit low. Murray to beat the european Nadal anyone ?
    ---------------------------------
    Anonymous said...
    Is this just sour grapes and envy? Am i mad?

    Korgull
    ---------------------------------
    Yes it is, just like it for the rest of us (except Trotts).
    Yes you are. It is a pre-requisite for posting on this blog.
    ---------------------------------

    SS11..I sense a lot of anguish and anger stemming from the gooners performance this year mate. Please do not do a raoul moat on us...you will be missed. God knows the number of posters on here is constantly dwindling (except on this latest blog for some reason).

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  88. If Messi was in another team, any other team, whould he be THAT good at it?

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  89. He'd still be good, but not as good or effective as he is there, proof of point, Argentina.

    Messi has an almost telepatic understanding with, Xabi, Iniesta and other players from Barca, that has been nurtured over the years.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Would barca be as good as they are with another player, any other player, instead of messi?

    ReplyDelete
  91. Fabregas's mum once said,

    "when they came home they won by six, seven, eight, or nine because always they had in the same team, [Gerard] Pique, [Lionel] Messi, [Cesc] Fabregas. You are not surprised."
    -------------
    So I believe Messi would have been good and effective at Arsenal. Or may be for next season Barca will be even more stronger and beat Fake Madrid 9-0 with Cesc setting up 3 or 4 for Messi.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Again I think answer has to be Yes. A lot of credit for what Barcelona is today has to be given to "La Masia" - the youth setup. They have been coached to play in one style since last 2 decades...they have done catch up with Real Madrid for most part of it and only now they have been able to stamp some sort of dominance over their rivals.

    ReplyDelete
  93. AH,

    I have overcome my disappointment of the past season knowing the fact that we were the only team that beat Barcelona, Man U and Chelsea this season. :)

    ReplyDelete
  94. Paul Scholes retirement reminds me of our very own Man United fan - Scholes The Ginger Price!!!

    Not sure if I'll miss Scholes in coming seasons.. but STGP presence is definetely being missed on this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  95. SS11 said...
    AH,

    I have overcome my disappointment of the past season knowing the fact that we were the only team that beat Barcelona, Man U and Chelsea this season. :)
    -----------------------------------------
    Yet..you were unable to beat the team of the season , Liverpool :). Cracking finishes to both games though. A 90th minute Chamakh equaliser from a Reino fumble at Anfield, and a 102nd minute Kuyt equaliser from an Eboue madness at the Emirates.

    ReplyDelete
  96. That should obviously be Reina. We have a couple dinosaurs at Anfield, but no Rhino.

    ReplyDelete
  97. I wouldn't mind if we had a rhino. Preferbly as a centre forward with instructions to ram Evra and then stamp on his stupid head.

    ReplyDelete
  98. that birds black pants are so tight I can read her lips

    ReplyDelete
  99. AH they're saying "is the breeze blowing from billingsgate?"

    ReplyDelete
  100. and... "is that a mirror or a yawning donkey?" they're self aware, enquiring , philosophical lips

    ReplyDelete
  101. and is that a shit covered anus or the columbian fifa official who had obviously consumed too much of the national marching powder when he asked for a knighthood and the fa cup to be named after him. A vengeful dies irae is seriously overdue for Blatter and his fellow cockroaches. not going to happen tho is it...

    ReplyDelete
  102. anti-fifa global outrage has spread to labia

    ReplyDelete
  103. blogdignag said...
    AH they're saying "is the breeze blowing from billingsgate?"
    ---------------------------------------
    Classic.
    ----------------------------------------

    Noel (of the anonymous type) - on reading your hamilton is a cunt comments, I have to say that while he is undoubtedly a cunt, he is also one of the few keeping interest in the sport alive. F1 has become an almost robotic sport where the driver isnt half as relevant as the machine. Hamilton at least provides a bit of entertainment and shows something different in his driving style. Not that that un-cuntifies him in the least.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Holloway2Holland said...
    Swansea's players will celebrate promotion to the Premier League by joining Rod Stewart on stage at the Liberty Stadium during his concert there on Wednesday night.
    Full story: Daily Star
    ----
    That makes sense, a Welsh team celebrating their promotion to the top English league with a London born Scot.

    -----------------------
    That's the difference. Barcelona and Pique celebrate on stage with Shakira and he takes her home and bangs her. Swansea get Rod fuckin Stewart? Says it all really.

    When Bolton won the cup in '58 they went for a game of Bingo with Violet Carson.

    ReplyDelete
  105. when vale won the div 2 (north) in 1923 they built a pyre and barbecued one of the apprentices before doing the hokey cokey with ethel merman the "undisputed First Lady of the musical comedy stage"

    ReplyDelete
  106. did anyone else think that there was more than a hint of the Wicker Man about the barca celebrstions, particularly the witchy dance hand in hand with that ginger witch lady widdershins around the centre circle before ensaring one of the policemen in the net and burning him alive in the dressing room?

    It certainly explains Messis otherworldly powers

    ReplyDelete
  107. them Vale lads always did know how to throw a party!

    ReplyDelete
  108. G'day all

    He'd still be good, but not as good or effective as he is there
    ========================================================================

    H2, I'd like to test that out at Arsenal. Maybe we can do a deal with Barca... we'll take Messi and give them Fabregas.

    Spit I don't like the big bang theory... one of my daughters and her kids love it though.

    ReplyDelete
  109. I've given up drinking. Not really out of choice I must say. But at least now I can remember what I ve been up to over the weekend....




    Nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Feel sad - seen picture of ex sunbathing on Redcar Beach - looked a bit like a 44ft whale.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Getting fed up with this posting lark. If I want to post then I have to set up a new account. Then the next time I post, I have to set up another account, and so on. Poland has a lot to answer for. Maybe Hitler knew more than he let on.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Might as well make the most of this account while I'm here - Utd can fuck off from Modric. He's got 5 years left on his contract, and since Fabregas has let his mind wander elsewhere, he has become the best midfielder in the Premiership. If Milner is sold for 24m, Utd will have to stump up at least 50m for him. Or 49.5m plus Berbatov.

    ReplyDelete
  113. AH - nice to see you fella. I agree with your Hamilton comments, but I'm just not a fan of his. People were very quick to get on Schumacher's back whenever he ran people off the road or whatever, but Lewis is doing just the same. He's petulant and obnoxious and thinks he can do whatever he likes because he's F1's poster boy. He's fast and he's aggressive, but he's not a better driver than Button or Alonso, so makes up for it by blaming everyone else for his mistakes. Kobyashi is the most exciting driver to watch I think, and he doesn't run people off the road. Well, not anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  114. And I'll wade in to the SS/H2H discussion too while I'm here - I agree with H. Just because Barca beat Utd, that doesn't say anything about the quality of the Premiership. Most teams in the Premiership could beat all the teams in Spain, from 3rd place in La Liga downwards. The fact that their top 2 teams are so good doesn't say anything about the quality of their league. I'd say the Bundesliga is far better than La Liga and Serie A, and certainly a lot better run then the Premiership.

    ReplyDelete
  115. And one more before I go, as who knows when I'll be able to get on here again - Blatter is a cunt.

    ReplyDelete
  116. FBH

    Go collect some winter fuel, should be plenty enough for Teesside

    ReplyDelete
  117. Mancienneis first Eng Player(yes I know seychelles born) to sign for HSV since KK
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/13606787.stm

    and if Bendy is wanted by Bayern, is that an out for Klose?

    ReplyDelete
  118. Noel said...

    Might as well make the most of this account while I'm here - Utd can fuck off from Modric. He's got 5 years left on his contract, and since Fabregas has let his mind wander elsewhere, he has become the best midfielder in the Premiership. If Milner is sold for 24m, Utd will have to stump up at least 50m for him. Or 49.5m plus Berbatov.

    -----------------------------

    50 mill, plus some extra cash to take Berba off of their hands. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  119. Blackburn's penalty spot - from which Wayne Rooney scored the goal that confirmed Manchester United as Premier League champions for the 19th time - has gone on sale on eBay.

    -------------------------------------

    Well worth carving a hole in my lawn and spray painting a white circle on it .... gonna make me a fortune that wheeze. :P

    ReplyDelete
  120. Apparently the bloke reading the news is "partial to a bit of a cruise"

    Star - I keep selling bits of the crucifixion cross to american tourists - I knew it would be a good idea not to paint my garden fence.

    http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/2011/05/31/whale-dies-on-redcar-beach-84229-28793153/

    ReplyDelete
  121. WTF is Prince William commenting on footy for - he may be making a correct point - but I will defend his right not to make it.

    ReplyDelete
  122. He's the President of the FA FBH.

    Chuck Blazer,whistle blower de nos jour,has been given the Spanish Archer by CONACAF as well.

    Nothing is going to come of this at all.FIFA will circle its waggons and nothing will change.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Yeah - but the Queen is sort of the Queen - but she never says owt - and who elected him to pintificate mate

    Vive Law Republique or sumat

    ReplyDelete
  124. Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson is readying a bid for Blackpool playmaker Charlie Adam. Ferguson is looking to replace Paul Scholes, who announced his retirement from the game on Tuesday.
    ---

    a decent replacement for Scholes I'd say.

    The Scholes of late, anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Brenda is constitutionally prevented from having a public point of view,whereas the rest of the hangers on can make the odd public point.In fairness to Bill,he is President of the FA (I know it's only a vanity title,but hey ho) so he should be making some sort of public utterance about this imbroglio.

    ReplyDelete
  126. fbh,

    I believe its the same as the queen in comparison to PM.

    there's a chairman and board that run the FA, or do FA in (Fuck All)

    and then there's the president, who we send out to meet and greet people who'd then want to see him bang the future QILF in exchange for a vote on where the WC takes place.

    sort of.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Arsenal may be forced to sell midfielder Samir Nasri if they fail to agree a new deal with the France international.
    ---

    Oi Wenger, dont be a dick, give him what he wants and make him sign a 6 year deal or summat.

    dont forget, its not your money...

    ReplyDelete
  128. Chelsea could be on the verge of clinching a deal for Santos forward Neymar after sources claimed his agent had flown to London to hold transfer talks.
    ---

    read a blog by Vickery over at the beeb that though this boy has tremendous talent, he also dives and whines a lot, A LOT.

    perfect fit for Chelsea then.

    ReplyDelete
  129. I say good luck to Mancienne. Could have stayed at Wolves or Chelsea on decent wages but has taken the opportunity to play abroad. He'll be better for it, and England probably will get the benefit in a few years once Rio and Terry have fucked off and started up their new drug-taking, other-people's-girlfriend-fucking joint venture.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Jack, Blazer has now been un-sacked

    You wouldn't put them in change of a chip shop would you

    ReplyDelete
  131. turns out Isle Austin was a bit premature in sacking whistleblower Blazer, which makes.me wonder how much he got from the Qatar Ass and the (Money) Pit

    ReplyDelete
  132. Is this the kebab shop in Leytonstone Blogidy?

    The one that Elvis runs?

    ReplyDelete
  133. It may provide some outstanding moments of WTF at the moment,but nothing will change.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Austin was not authorised to say that Blazer was not authorised .


    BREAKING NEWS In a further twist it seems the executive committee was not authorised to say that Austin was not authorised to say that Blazer was sacked so just to be sure Blatter has sacked everyone who didnt give him a fucking massive wad of cash.

    Fortunately for the smooth running of Condomclaf it turns out that thats nobody.

    ReplyDelete
  135. I tell you what jack I'd like to see Blatter roasted on one of those kebab shop spit roasts (insert double entendre here)

    I'd personally carve him up and give the rancid fatty inedible meat to dogs and drunks

    ReplyDelete
  136. and you're right jack nothing will change.... unless adidas McDonald's, Coca-Cola etc take their overpriced child labour trainers and inedible comestibles elsewhere

    ReplyDelete
  137. Is this is a new,era for tragi-comic absurdity...

    1. Rooney will "never recover' from being banned for swearing like a cunt. He finds it hard to concentrate on his flower arranging and sobs constantly into his hookers' biceps
    2. Sarah Austin and Donald trump might fin together for president HaHaHaHaHAhAhAhaHaHa...
    3. The opinion at Man u seems to be that barca won because they're tiny delicate things who fall over when tackled, according to bobby Charlton in this characteristically culturally snobbish article by the trump-esque Boris johnson (in the game I saw man u didn't get close enough to foul them)
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/borisjohnson/8545406/Champions-League-final-The-beautiful-game-is-not-for-us-after-all-anyone-for-rugby.html

    ReplyDelete
  138. "it was like an unequal contest from the pages of Tolkien or Norse mythology – the elves against the trolls"

    ReplyDelete
  139. 4 more years of Cunticus Corruptus .... great.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Boris argues that if we can only bring rugby to the kids in sink estates gang violence will be less of a problem. I thought he was joking but, no.....I think this is a great idea Boris and should be extended....

    Polo for rapists?

    Cricket for crack addicts?

    ReplyDelete
  141. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13583587.stm

    ----------------------

    Gate, horse and bolted come to mind with this.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Blog, I started reading the BJ article but the second line was

    "We had all – 87,950 of us – seen a superb exhibition of football, played with high sportsmanship and energy by two of the world's greatest sides. "

    so I let it at that.

    Only one great team turned up at Wembley on Saturday, therefore BJ must have been talking about some other match that I am even less interested in.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Tourists might think we have Blow Job in charge of our capital.

    ReplyDelete
  144. blogdignag said...

    I tell you what jack I'd like to see Blatter roasted on one of those kebab shop spit roasts (insert double entendre here)
    ________________________________________

    If you like Blogidy,I'll happily give you one.

    ReplyDelete
  145. now I am going to read it again.

    I like to read me some fiction.

    ReplyDelete
  146. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13548222
    -------------
    shocking, wonder what happens to the CQC blokes, will they be stringed up like the social workers in the Joseph Fritzl case...nah this is UK, great use of the taxpayers money, twats!

    Wonder if Panorama was operating in Pakistan/China how many of them would have gone 'missing'

    ReplyDelete
  147. That BJ article/blog is utter piece of shite.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Big Sam is now manager at wet spam.

    not Real Fucking Madrid, is it ?

    ReplyDelete
  149. After a battering up the but from barca, SAF has decided he needs to build a challenging team for the future and has extended contract of Michael Owen.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Who needs Nasri when Owen is there....?








    .....so Nasri stays with Arsenal ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  151. Just been reading the Daily Star online (I'm cultured) and it seems that 'love rat' Ryan Giggs has turned Imogen Thomas into a lesbian.

    ReplyDelete
  152. And What A Fuck Of A Person Blatter is...

    How can a person stand for an election without having an opponent to fight against?

    Which democratic organization allows such a thing to happen?

    Sepp Blatter - worst thing to have happened to world after Osama bin Laden.

    ReplyDelete
  153. After being sacked by chicken owners, its time for some "Ham" for Sam Allardyce.

    ReplyDelete
  154. mornin' lads, congratulations to Big Sam and West Ham fans, we can look forward to a return to the cultured and intricate passing game of years past. It'll be like Bobby Moore and Trevor Brooking never left. Ron Greenwood would be proud! I wish him well (as always).

    ReplyDelete
  155. Spitfire said...
    Tourists might think we have Blow Job in charge of our capital.
    ---
    You do.

    What an elitest piece of shit article.

    ReplyDelete
  156. SS11 said...
    And What A Fuck Of A Person Blatter is...

    How can a person stand for an election without having an opponent to fight against?

    Which democratic organization allows such a thing to happen?
    -----
    Once they change his title from Herr President to Herr Fuhrer all will make sense.

    ReplyDelete
  157. Do you know the cheever story The Swimmer (also burt Lancaster film)? Blatters like Ned Merrill, he imagines himself a hero but he's humiliated and ridiculed behind his back because he can't face the fact of his own downfall and particularly the fact that he's entirely responsible for it...

    "Was his memory failing or had he so disciplined it in the repression of unpleasant facts that he had damaged his sense of the truth?"

    ReplyDelete
  158. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-12934880
    ------------
    wouldn't mind taking her for a 'ride'

    ReplyDelete
  159. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  160. I have been looking for a gorgeous woman who is willing to take high risk ...

    ReplyDelete
  161. but you can't beat those east German lady weightlifters with their 300kilo snatch and jerk

    ReplyDelete
  162. well fifa have stolen our game and now it will be voted in by all these titchy non footballing countries we will never stage the WC again. Pity I would have liked to have watched it.

    Perhaps we can concentrate now on just winning the bloody thing

    The argentinian who called FA liars today has been quoted as saying he voted against the English bid because of the falkland island issue.

    Let's face it if it hinges on past offences against foreign countries we're fucked

    ReplyDelete
  163. Well I say fuck 'em Blogs ... fuck Fifa. There's still the Euro competitions and failing that we can go roger the home nations in the Nations Cup.

    Houllier's just stood down as Villa boss. Go enjoy your retirement mate.

    ReplyDelete
  164. G'day all

    You guys seem starved for a bit of camel toe... so here is something just for you.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Let's face it if it hinges on past offences against foreign countries we're fucked
    ========================================================================

    I think were still good with the Faroe Isles Blog.

    ReplyDelete
  166. I agree Star... lets drop out of fifa, nobody lets us win fuck all there anyway, the bloody upstarts. Drop out of eufa too, we get no joy there either... until the scots, welsh and irish improve we can be the football masters of great britain where the game originated... or was it in china... the land of the chins.

    ReplyDelete
  167. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  168. I think Twiggy will be good for west ham. If they had hired him last January, I think they would still be a PL side

    ReplyDelete
  169. Bo Star - I agree. After all its only a game.

    I wish I really thought that.

    ReplyDelete
  170. blogdignag said...

    The argentinian who called FA liars today has been quoted as saying he voted against the English bid because of the falkland island issue.
    -------------------------------------------

    Unfortunately the last two Argentine presidents (who were husband and wife) have made 'retaking' the Falklands their main policy, and so take every opportunity to lay a claim to it, or to push their claim in any international forum. The fact that the Falklands was British before Argentina even existed as a country doesn't seem to matter to them.

    ReplyDelete
  171. A handy guide to the differences between rugby league, and aussie rules footie. Jacks and Bo, your team gets a mention.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQFTORvXEcA

    ReplyDelete
  172. G'day all

    Noel the filmclip only confirms what everyone outside of NSW thinks.. the biggest wankers in Oz come from Sydney :p ... a good laugh though.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Manuel Neuer joins Bayern Munich --- one quality GK gone. Good for them though!

    ReplyDelete
  174. to counter the problems his Sri lanka scale munchkins have at set pieces Wenger has signed broad tremlett and Finn

    ReplyDelete
  175. What's the use? He will buy tall players and then play them on the wing.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Noel said...
    blogdignag said...

    The argentinian who called FA liars today has been quoted as saying he voted against the English bid because of the falkland island issue.
    -------------------------------------------

    Unfortunately the last two Argentine presidents (who were husband and wife) have made 'retaking' the Falklands their main policy, and so take every opportunity to lay a claim to it, or to push their claim in any international forum. The fact that the Falklands was British before Argentina even existed as a country doesn't seem to matter to them.
    -------------------------

    why not just invade Argentina then at least we'll get cheaper corned beef and Messi could be forced to play for England

    ReplyDelete
  177. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13625200.stm

    ---------------------

    Yeah, whatever you corrupt homophobic little cunt. We've taken the ball and gone home already.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Real Madrid keeper Iker Casillas says his club would also have beaten Manchester United in the Champions League final had they not been knocked out by eventual winners Barcelona in the semi-finals.
    -----------------------------------------------
    err...yeah sure. In other news, Port Vale claim they would have beaten Man U to the PL title, had they not been playing in the League Two.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Not with Jim Gannon in charge AH.

    ReplyDelete
  180. Nicklas Bendtner has underlined his determination to leave the Gunners.

    “I have decided 100% that I must leave Arsenal,” he told sporten.dk. “I’ve considered this for a long time and was quite clear when I arrived at my decision. It doesn’t feel particularly strange to not know what my future holds - I’m quite calm and confident that I’ll be fine at a new club.

    “I’m fully focused on Saturday’s game for now, because it is incredibly important, but after the international is over I may focus more directly on my future [but] I am sure I could easily go on holiday without having to panic about it. I’m looking to relax, mentally, after a season that was not what I hoped for or expected.”
    --------------------------
    Good bye and All the best Bendy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  181. Starfire said...
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13625200.stm

    ---------------------

    Yeah, whatever you corrupt homophobic little cunt. We've taken the ball and gone home already.
    ---------------------------

    Vietnam, lost in translation or scared shitless of Septic! poor little footy associations, what a quandary this puts them in! expect a lot of this now that everyone gets to vote for WC,

    ReplyDelete
  182. my last word on fifa ...can you believe its a registered charity?

    Also registered for tax here charity status in Zurich are al Quaeda, Al Shaeera, El Shakira, and Fred Goodwins "Selfish Bastard" charity and er Somali Retired Pirates Welfare Charity, which provides hooks and eye patches to retired buccaneers at cheap rates as well as replacing ears lost in fights at a dollar a time (buck an ear)

    ReplyDelete
  183. THIS is my last word on fifa....



    CUNTS!

    ReplyDelete
  184. mornin' Lads, eh up, Sparky's resigned already, never would have happened if they'd put a statue of Shirley Bassey up at Craven Cottage.

    CUNTS

    ReplyDelete
  185. blogdignag said...
    my last word on fifa ...can you believe its a registered charity?
    ----
    I couldn't Adam and Eve it when I read about that not so long ago. Did you also know that they also demand diplomatic immunity from World Cup host nations? Basically meaning FIFA delegates cannot be prosecuted within the borders of the host country. Fucking unbelivable. Does this mean Sepp Bladder and his cronies can go walkabouts in Rio de Janeiaro shooting people for a larf if they want and get away with it?
    Someone needs to get in there and sort it out, burn it to the ground or least make them re-write their rules. The big question is who?

    ReplyDelete
  186. Spitfire said... “and then there's the president, who we send out to meet and greet people who'd then want to see him bang the future QILF in exchange for a vote on where the WC takes place.”

    Maybe the QILF is happening in the WC?
    ----------------------
    Noel said… “Just been reading the Daily Star online (I'm cultured) and it seems that ‘love rat’ Ryan Giggs has turned Imogen Thomas into a lesbian.”

    Wonder whether it was the dicking or the licking that was lacking?
    ----------------------
    Anonymous said... “http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-12934880 -- wouldn't mind taking her for a 'ride'

    female motorbike stunt riders, Chesca Miles has got some big balls

    (I am not Anonymous, I am Profile)

    ReplyDelete
  187. Barcelona's Argentine superstar Lionel Messi was unharmed when a youngster wearing a hooded top threw a punch at him as he was leaving a restaurant in his home city of Rosario on Thursday.
    --------------------------------------------

    Jeez - that gang of Utd hoodies who go round threatening Wayne Rooney or 'protecting' Ryan Giggs have gone international.

    Noel

    ReplyDelete
  188. a youngster in a hoodie? Was it the Ronaldo puppet of Special1TV fame?

    ReplyDelete