Monday, 16 May 2011

Taken for Grant-ed

Hello! Or as we Poles say 'Halo'.

Phew! What a week! And that's just this blog. Last Thursday, some bloke called Polish Dad appeared to have hijacked this site - but insisted he'd saved it from a worse fate than that. (Looking at Kusczak’s performance at Blackburn I wouldn’t want a Pole saving anything for me!)

Not realising that I am technologically-challenged he tried to explain himself: 'Blah-bli-blah-DOMAIN, blah-bli-blah OPEN' he wrote - or summat like that. Any road it appears he did save the day, so a big Polish thumbs up to the lad. And even if he didn't, thanks, son, for giving an ageing Teessider heart failure.


Poland is of course famous for many things including this - its reasonably good volleyball team

In this area of high beer and cholesterol consumption, heart failure is nowt new. However in that London, I'm imagining Irons fans are busy blowing themselves into bubbles and fading and dying as we speak.

Those of us with a cruel streak (and here I talk of every football fan I know) will not shed a tear for that weird triumvirate of Sullivan, Gold and Brady.

It strikes me that not one of 'em knows owt about football. It could be that porn magnate Sullivan ordered the back four to stay wide open to allow as much penetration as possible. Sullivan was keen for Avram to play someone in the hole who could push up behind the front two.

The selection of Grant, and his non-sacking in January, have been tell-tale indicators of a club that - ironically in Sullivan's case, doesn't know its arse from its elbow.

At least Hammers fans will be able to watch their team play in the Olympic Stadium soon - the main benefit of that being that they'll be so far away from the pitch that the pain will take longer to reach you.

When push comes to shove at the lower end of the league you need a gaffer who can stir the emotions. While Blackpool have got Tigger, West Ham have had to make do with Eeyore. While Wigan have Mr. Motivator, West Ham have Droopy.

Here's Avram wondering why he bought Robbie Keane

Grant seems a nice enough bloke but Gawd knows why he was hired. This will be the season West Ham fans remember as The Year of Scott Parker. (Or Scotty if you want him to sound like a really annoying pooch). He's been the footballing equivalent of Atlas. No wonder his Achilles twanged after carrying so many passengers.

He'll be off to somewhere wealthy in the summer - cluttering up Man City's midfield mantelpiece no doubt. Can't say I was too chuffed about the Cup Final result although Citeh were hugely superior to Stoke.

(Oh and by the way if the FA ever allow Premier League matches to be played on Cup Final day I will personally go round there and squeeze their gluttonous heads into a miniature replica of the Cup itself. Shocking decision!)

Mancini's side may have been a bit flaky at times this season but one thing you can't do is strongarm them out of it. At one point Tyldesley suggested that Stoke's aerial firepower was to be feared. Except even Huth looked like a border collie amongst the wolfhounds of Toure, Richards, Kompany and co.

They keep telling me the sky blue's the limit now. That the first trophy is the hardest to win. I'd love to disagree. But if Mancini can fork out a flaming fortune just to have a minder for Balotelli (Vieira) then the rest of us are pissing in the wind.

It's Chelsea Mark II. Abramovich never bothered about buying a dud. Kezman, that cokehead Romanian fella, the expensive scatter cushion that was Winston Bogarde. Doesn't matter that they stank. Same with Citeh now. Dzeko turns out to be Bosnian for 'cack'. No bother. We'll lay a trail of cash to the door of Karim Benzema or some such.

It's not a happy prospect unless you've been spitting out the dirt from Man U's wheelspins for three decades.

And them people - the fans - are the ones who have earned the right to crow.

United are of course Premier League Champions. Which really means that City are celebrating sloppy seconds for now.

As I've said before, it really doesn't matter what you think of Ferguson, fact is he's won the League with a great deal of averageness at his disposal. Which makes him, in this day and age, close to a genius. And, by the way, no one likes a genius.

If you look at the celebratory pogo-ers at Ewood Park on Saturday there's only Vidic and van der Saar who you can truly say have been exceptional all season. Rooney's blown hot and cold. (And if there's a football fan in the country who hasn't at least indirectly been told to fuck off by Wazza this season then he wasn't on the pitch when you watched Man U.)

"It's all very well but what am I gonnae dae now ITV are getting rid of Taggart?"

Somehow Old Purple Chops has managed to patch together a winning side out of crocks and journeymen. And there's never been a string of games when they've all been playing shite at the same time - unlike Chelsea and Arsenal.

Rooney and Berbatov have alternated purple patches. Nani's dip in form has been easily covered by Valencia's return and the work-rate of Park. The foetal Brazilain twins have covered manfully for absentees at full-back; similarly, Rio's creaking back hasn't caused too much disruption. Carrick has been very good in the run-in. And Gawd knows what he's on but Giggsy continues his campaign to become the Peter Pan of the PFA. (According to Twitter rumours he's been using a super-injection for years).

I'm hoping that Cardiff can muster a way to the Premier League after a series of rhythm method seasons. (They look like they're in but withdraw at the last second). Be nice if Dave Jones could get that particular monkey off his back - then again Craig Bellamy could make all the difference.

Who they might replaced is well anybody's guess. Me? I hope it's not Blackpool n Wolves to sink, as we'd lose two of the best post-match interviewees in the game.
Bit I reckon the Tangerines will go, joined by the Tired Toilers at Brum. Suffice to say bums will never have been squeakier.

Rest assured Boro fans will empathise with the lot of yer.

563 comments:

  1. First. Two in a row. Get in.

    ReplyDelete
  2. First. Good post Robbo. Grant must go down as the worst manager in recent memory.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Can I have that No.14 "Liktoras", her name is enough, never mind the picture...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Best part of the blog was the pic polish volleyball team. The rest wasn't too bad, though.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Blackpool and Blackburn to go down.

    I'd like it to be Wigan and Blackburn,but hey ho.

    Luke Cloherty said...

    First. Good post Robbo. Grant must go down as the worst manager in recent memory.
    ______________________________________________

    All I can say to that is Roy Keane.

    ------------------------------------------------

    ReplyDelete
  6. Avram Grant should be okay for work.

    They're bound to make a bio pic of Ingmar Bergman's life.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey everyone!

    Glad Robbo has his blog back!

    Yes I am the Polish dad.
    I'm a nice person though:)
    so will start blogging as well
    ThePolishdad

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good Blog as usual Robbo, just one thing though...

    "Oh and by the way if the FA ever allow Premier League matches to be played on Cup Final day I will personally go round there and squeeze their gluttonous heads into a miniature replica of the Cup itself. Shocking decision!"
    ------------------
    Well seeing as Flappio Crapello wants a 2 week break for the players before the 2012 Euros, they're actually planning to do the same again, so please film and post online the stuffing of FAt heads into Cup! It'll make a great blog!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh and given the nature of Gold and Sullivan's Business interests, you'd think they would have had a quick fix for their Droopy dilemma

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sacked West Ham manager Avram Grant was persuaded to travel back to London from Wigan with the players after he suggested he would go home on his own by car.
    ---

    which goes to show, Grant may well be a not so good manager but the muppets incharge of WetSpam are the cunts of all cunts.

    Whats the hurry? were you paying him by the hour? Why could they not wait till they go tto london? what the fuck way is it to treat an employee, a club manager no less?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Luke Cloherty said...

    First. Good post Robbo. Grant must go down as the worst manager in recent memory.
    ______________________________________________

    All I can say to that is Roy Keane.

    All I can say to that is... good point. He had one successful campaign though. Grant is the nearly man of everything he does, he's like a human version of Arsenal. Nearly Champs League/Prem with Chelsea. Nearly FA Cup with Pomopey, but just relegation, nearly won yesterday and stayed up for a touch longer, but didn't.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey there Plish dad,

    welcome to the blog. Be nice mate and do EVER do it again. I ask nicely of course, but I do live in Germany so the next time you mess this godforsaken hideout in the darkness of internet, for a bunch of bored out office workers and some expat footy fans, I'd take it upon me to drive over to you and clasp out this blog out of your hands and you know German navigation systems know poland all too well.

    You dont know how irritating it was for us (all 3 of us).


    Cheers,

    Spits.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Avram Grant is almost the father of his kids. Almost.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Once, when Avram was little, he almost managed to finish his greens.

    Almost.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I almost get that joke, spit.

    ReplyDelete
  16. My first post ! How exciting. And just to be pedantic as well.

    Winston Bogarde was bought before Abramovich - I think he was the reason Vialli left....of course at my age, most things beyond 20 minutes ago are a blur, so this is what I think happened...

    Ken Bates: We've bought you a central defender !

    Luca Vialli: You did what, you *$"@&* *!@*!. He's **!!@*!$@ !

    Ken Bates: I wonder if that nice Claudio Ranieri is available ?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I always thought Winston Bogarde's career went down the drain after Doctor in the House.

    ReplyDelete
  18. mornin' Lads, great stuff Robbo, Polish Dad should be rewarded with a senior position at the IMF.

    ReplyDelete
  19. IMF? the way he took the blog (NOT the blogger so named) hostage he could fill the senior position open at Al qaeda.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous said...

    Good Blog as usual Robbo, just one thing though...

    "Oh and by the way if the FA ever allow Premier League matches to be played on Cup Final day I will personally go round there and squeeze their gluttonous heads into a miniature replica of the Cup itself. Shocking decision!"
    ------------------
    Well seeing as Flappio Crapello wants a 2 week break for the players before the 2012 Euros, they're actually planning to do the same again, so please film and post online the stuffing of FAt heads into Cup! It'll make a great blog!

    -------------------------

    Seconded.

    I might put a cheeky bet on Blackpool staying up. Fergie will piss their rivals off by playing the 3rd XI with his trip to Wembley in mind and Holloway will get his lads fired up for the occasion.

    Brum have had it. Spurs want that place in Europe and the players will want to end the season a home on a good note for the fans.

    ReplyDelete
  21. As far as crap managers go, surely no-one out-craps Bryan Robson, as our esteemed leader should know!

    ReplyDelete
  22. its a wonder in itself how far some crap managers go

    ReplyDelete
  23. Think there's some other contenders Roger.

    Jack would point to Keane, I'll point to Ramos and Gross. Robbo can pick between Southgate and Strachen.

    hmm ... who else now ... ?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Jim Gannon. He is to dead-cert promotion hopes what attilla the hun was to roman housewives

    ReplyDelete
  25. giggsy still has a spring in his step i cant imogen what he gets up off the pitch

    sorry, *gets up to

    ReplyDelete
  26. from previous blog (whatever happened ot the New Blog Up comment?) -

    AnfieldHopeful said...
    Horrible performance by Liverpool yday, and a pretty decent performance for Spurs. It seems like end of season syndrome hit us as well. If I didnt know better, I'd say Kenny put out his best team so he couldnt be accused of trying to lose to avoid the Europa crap, but tried his best to avoid winning. That being said, if I had to pick a game to lose, it would be this one. penalty for a semi-foul outside the box didnt help either I guess.

    Sandro turning out to be an exceedingly competent holding midfielder. He put in a few outstanding tackles to prevent us doing anything on the counter attack.

    ReplyDelete
  27. them polish birds if you look carefully there labias are showing

    sorry, *labels

    ReplyDelete
  28. To be fair to Droopy (difficult), he's been undermined by the 3 Stooges (Gold, Sullivan and Brady) since he was appointed. Anyone remember the Martin O'Neill fiasco in January? I also gather Upson has deliberately run down his contract to get a move to somewhere better suited to his talents (non league?), and he's the club captain! Green is the English Gomes, and Carlton Cole is the (unimproved) new Heskey.

    These guys are on the same sort of wages as the likes of Modric at Spurs, with far less to show for it. The West Ham wage bill is 91% of turnover ffs. And they have burdened themselves with MORE debt to convert the Olympic Stadium. A 60,000 seater stadium is no use to a Division 1 club.

    So how did a team with so many England internationals get relegated? Just shows either they weren't interested, or there is no depth of English talent in the Premier league (or, most likely, both). Good luck with that one Fabio.

    A sad story of greed and incompetence (or Leeds United revisited, as it's otherwise known).

    ReplyDelete
  29. is that a cake or an elaborate Cambodian pie on their national flag?

    ReplyDelete
  30. AH, your team was playing for KD's new 3 year contract until last Thursday, now that he's signed up they can go back to playing like Rafa's team!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Crap managers of recent vintage. Despite the success North of the border Strachan, Souness, and every manager Southampton had until recently.

    ReplyDelete
  32. the bigger question is: why does Liktoras have two fingers taped up on her right hand?

    ReplyDelete
  33. She burnt them making an elaborate Cambodian flag/pie.

    Forgot her oven glove.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Re: Anonymous (the one three or four up from here) - just about spot on, sunshine. Upson's behaviour has been execrable (don't think it was a coincidence he was on the bench yesterday). Carlton Cole is Heskey revisited - he's got all the traits you need to be a top front man apart from a first touch and an eye for goal. And Rob Green? Gomes is v similar great shot-stopper until the shot that beats him makes him look like a trout flip-flopping ona riverbank. Tsk.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Scots managers are eunuchs running brothels

    ReplyDelete
  36. Cunnilingus is like life...one slip of the tongue and youre in the polish volleyball team

    ReplyDelete
  37. Thanks for the comments on my earlier post Robbo. To sum up, looks like Grant has been shafted by the players and the management. Given the financial doo doo West Ham are in (£80m in debt, and wages 91% of Premier League turnover), they'll need a masssssive (sorry: Rafa hijacked my comment) clear out.

    And they want to borrow another £40m plus to spend on the Olympic stadium?!? What use is that if they're in Div 1?

    Upson is a disgrace, but that won't stop someone signing him for too much money. "He's an England international."

    Yeah, but a f**king useless one, with no loyalty.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Something about Polish chicks: they age damn quickly and develop cellulite fairly early on. Google “polish volleyball team” and you’ll find loads of images…

    (I'm not anonymous, can't be arsed to set up a "profile")

    ReplyDelete
  39. AH
    I agree
    was writing to myself until I realised everybodys fucked off

    ReplyDelete
  40. hi all

    H, I know your shifts are long and often, but I eventually got back to my apt 5pm yesterday, just in time to watch pool v Spurs and promptly fell asleep.

    ReplyDelete
  41. as for FFL 45 with Yaya and Jones to play and 1 pt off the bench, enough to keep in front of Spit in Robbo HtoH.
    Baggie should win Jacks HtoH, with me and Galacticos playing each other for runners up spot.


    just thought I'd catch up

    ReplyDelete
  42. Just checked LIKTORAS in Polish dictionary,

    comes up with cunnilanus

    ReplyDelete
  43. Ah, here we are then, I was hanging around on the old one, my bad.

    Good stuff Robbo, glad your back.

    Well done Polish Dad and welcome to the blog, just to be sure that's not; you're welcome to the blog, but it's nice that you chose to join us.

    Anonymous.

    Come on mate make a profile, there are a lot of anon bung holes on here and you wouldn't want us to mistake you for them.

    Tone, I almost nodded off behind the bar too, it was only the excess of beer and punters throing peanuts at me that kept me awake.

    Liktotas sounds like an abrieviated name for a lesbo (Likclitoras)

    ReplyDelete
  44. tone1947 said...
    Just checked LIKTORAS in Polish dictionary,

    comes up with cunnilanus

    That's very good: liktoras = "lick't ur arse", only problem is:

    Maria Liktoras (born February 20, 1975 in Mineralnye Vody, Russian SFSR...
    ---------
    Holloway2Holland said...

    Anonymous.

    Come on mate make a profile, there are a lot of anon bung holes on here and you wouldn't want us to mistake you for them

    I'm trying to set up one called "Profile"...

    (I'm not anonymous, I am Profile, just can't be arsed to set up one)

    Profile

    ReplyDelete
  45. AH - saw the game on the weekend and I thought you were unfortunate to come up against the decent Spurs team, as opposed to the one with Gomes in it. Having said that, it was never a penalty. That young lad of yours was very unlucky there. Modric was absolute class - a gem unearthed a few years back by your new man Commoli. Great to see Ledley back - steady as a steady rock, on a steady foundation of steady rock, that's no where near any seismic fault lines. But Pienaar - what is the point in him? I don't want to see him anywhere near my team, and I have no idea what 'Arry sees in him.

    Oh, and a great blog Robbo. Grant has been piss poor as a manager, but no one deserves to be treated as he was. Although if the Glazers did it to Fergie then I wouldn't mind.

    ReplyDelete
  46. G'day all.

    I agree with you Robbo (for a change)... I don't give two shits for the West Ham management but I have always admired the way the team plays.. for me the PL will be the poorer for them going down.

    H2... sorry to drag this one from the last blog but I just needed some clarification "14 games with 3 wins, 5 draws and 5 losses"... what happened to the other game?... just trying to think if we had one abandoned or sumfink.

    ReplyDelete
  47. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  48. West Ham captain Scott Parker is expected to lead the exodus from the relegated club with Tottenham set to compete against Manchester City and Arsenal to land the 30-year-old.
    =========================================================

    Parker and Wilshire... the rash tackle twins.

    ReplyDelete
  49. So how did a team with so many England internationals get relegated?

    ===========================================================

    Anon, I get the feeling that the answer is in the question.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Perth Glory are to entertain Celtic on 9th July in a pre season friendly... hasn't changed, every year we get poor quality opposition in pre season.

    ReplyDelete
  51. What's all this planking malarky. Some tosser in Sydney decided it'd be good fun to do a bit of it on the top balcolny of a seven storey building, until he fell... he won't do that again, the plank.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Fort those of you not up with planking (like me) you can learn all about it here

    I think it's just another word to describe fucking idiots.

    ReplyDelete
  53. A fine entry into the annals of the Darwin Awards Bo. As I said on FB yesterday, Planking is for Planks.

    ReplyDelete
  54. child abuse, clearly?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-13417930

    ReplyDelete
  55. Manchester United fans pulled a daring stunt, complete with getaway cars, unfurling a banner celebrating their 19th league title at Anfield ahead of Liverpool's game against Tottenham on Sunday.

    -----------------------

    Seems to have been a good weekend for daring Wummery between this lot and the clown who flew that plane over the DW stadium with the banner 'Avram Grant: Millwall Legend' fluttering behind it.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Seems another version of planking to me Spit

    ReplyDelete
  57. West Ham captain Scott Parker is expected to lead the exodus from the relegated club, with Tottenham set to compete against Manchester City and Arsenal to land the 30-year-old.
    ---

    unlike Bo, I'd welcome Parker in Arsenal team. He is exactly the type of player we need. experienced. defensive mid able to break up play AND he has a shot at goal once in a while.

    He'd be perfect foil for Wilshire and Ramsey.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I have nothing against Parker Spit, I would be happy with him at Arsenal, he would give the midfield a bit of steel, which we need... just saying that he tends to be a bit gung ho at times.

    ReplyDelete
  59. The plank who fell off his 7th storey balcony was in Brisbane Bo. Don't want us NSW people tarnished with that brush!! Although, a Manly NRL player (don't know his real name - he goes by the nickname 'The Wolfman') has been encouraging it through the medium of total planks, aka twitter.

    I can't wait for this FFL season to be over. And to think that I was top of the pile for a few weeks back in September. The turning point in my season was when I played my wildcard. I suggest that you don't use yours Bo. I replaced my team of average players with good players, and slid right down the table. Should have learnt a lesson from Fergie and stuck with the shite players.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Nice to see mt FFL form has carried over to my NRL fantasy team though - 4 weeks in a row I've picked players who have then suffered season-ending injuries the very next game.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Noel, I haven't even changed my team for the past couple of months let alone used a wildcard.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Just read what you said about the planker Noel... Brisbane, Sydney... it's the East mate, it's all the same.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Morning all.

    Good blog Robbo. Situation at West Ham looks similar to Newcastle when they got relegated. A team rich in footballing tradition but deservedly going down this season!

    And my thumbs up for Scott Parker as well. Only worry is he will have to start taking de-ageing pills in summer so that he is 13 again so that he fits in Wenger's transfer plans.

    ReplyDelete
  64. One for H2 here.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13418295.stm

    ReplyDelete
  65. What is it with team dropping trophies off of buses this year? One of Real's, (or was it Barca's) players dropped the Copa del Rey earlier this season and the damn bus ran over it.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Ah, found it. Real's Sergio Ramos's less than finest hour

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13155619.stm

    ReplyDelete
  67. Wonder what the odds are of Balotelli doing the same with the FA Cup next week.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Serious complaint, Robbo. Grant looks nothing like Droopy. Baron Greenback (from Danger Mouse) is the frog. Here's proof.

    http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.allgoonerdup.com/images/Frontpage/Special/BaronVonAvram.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.allgoonerdup.com/Archives/2007_08/Dec/13Dec.html&h=253&w=475&sz=121&tbnid=jJMpCfB7A79XXM:&tbnh=69&tbnw=129&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dbaron%2Bgreenback%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=baron+greenback&usg=__iDTuJ1cBAUg22mJ7DMeGRptAVGU=&sa=X&ei=41zSTY6mPJOp8APlp-jnCg&ved=0CCYQ9QEwBA

    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  69. http://www.historicalkits.co.uk/Articles/Room_101.htm

    Now then

    ReplyDelete
  70. I once went to Poland - Jerk Off - or Crack Off - or sumat

    ReplyDelete
  71. http://www.historicalkits.co.uk/Ipswich_Town/Ipswich_Town.htm

    We haven't changed too much over the years FBH.

    Now then....

    ReplyDelete
  72. Whereas Port Vale chopped and changed a bit.

    http://www.historicalkits.co.uk/Port_Vale/Port_Vale.htm

    ReplyDelete
  73. Arsenal 91 and Brum 92 - arrrrgggghhhh

    ReplyDelete
  74. http://www.historicalkits.co.uk/Middlesbrough_Ironopolis/Middlesbrough_Ironopolis.htm

    Middlesbrough Ironopolis - no wonder they got wound up???

    ReplyDelete
  75. How ya doing Big Jacks - looking forward to Al T later in year!!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  76. I'd start doing some serious saving then FBH.

    I've had a word with The Major,you won't need a visa.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Middlesbrough Ironopolis ?

    Is that the budget version for Superman?

    Nowthenman.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Afternoon all

    welcome back Jacks - and hello FBH



    RYANAIR HAVE CHARGED JENNIFER MILLS-WESTLEYS FAMILY £65 IN EXCESS BAGGAGE FEES TO BRING HER REMAINS BACK TO THE U.K. I SUPPOSE THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT BOOKING A HEAD..

    ReplyDelete
  79. Right - laters chaps - just q quickie :)

    ReplyDelete
  80. Hi Jacks - I'm all the better for having you back especially after those two postings, mmm yummy.

    Is Elizabeth (if I remember rightly) still gutted after Stoke losing on Saturday?

    ReplyDelete
  81. jacksofbuxton said...
    Blackpool and Blackburn to go down.

    I'd like it to be Wigan and Blackburn,but hey ho.

    Luke Cloherty said...

    First. Good post Robbo. Grant must go down as the worst manager in recent memory.
    ______________________________________________

    All I can say to that is Roy Keane.

    ---------------------------

    I knew you'd spell Keane in full some day...

    Now you just need to write United

    ReplyDelete
  82. jacksofbuxton said...
    Whereas Port Vale chopped and changed a bit.

    http://www.historicalkits.co.uk/Port_Vale/Port_Vale.htm

    ---------------
    1898-1902 (stokey lookylikey kit) and 1983 (sponsored by PMT) were low points jacks

    ReplyDelete
  83. i see fergusberry isnt talking to the FA now. his wife hasn't spoken to him since the washing up dispute of 1983

    ReplyDelete
  84. Bo, it was 14 games, and the one I missed was a loss (mental blockout, I suppose) 3W 5D 6L.

    --
    Jacks, nice link, I wanted to put that one up yesterday but I was called away and didn't manage to come back. Ironically one of the most wanted/highly rated keepers in the game dropped the sheild...... Auditioning for Arsenal maybe?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  85. On the subject of dodgy kits, here's Arsenals new away shirt;

    http://www.epltalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/arsenal-away-shirt-2011-2012.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  86. Depends Adam.

    Let's give it a go.

    West Ham United

    Southend United

    Newcastle United

    Oxford United

    Carlisle United

    Manchester Un**ed.

    Nope,no dice Adam.

    BHB,

    Kathryn and Elizabeth were both fairly sanguine after the final.

    ReplyDelete
  87. What's all this Parker to Arsenal nonsense?

    How's Miss Penelope gonna get around without him?

    ReplyDelete
  88. Holloway2Holland said...

    What's all this Parker to Arsenal nonsense?

    How's Miss Penelope gonna get around without him?


    ____________________________________

    I thought you meant this Parker H2.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Good find H, though Arsenal could use someone or something with some presence in the team, I'm not sure the FA are going to allow Arsene to bend the rules enough to accommodate a bight pink Rolls Royce with hidden machine guns taking to the field at half time when the team's 0-2 down.

    ReplyDelete
  90. I don't remember seeing any machine guns on Top of the Pops when she sang "At the Car wash" Star.

    ReplyDelete
  91. A bit of a st-inky one that Jacks. ;)
    ---
    That's a shame Star, because a machine gun would be the perfect solution to break through stuborn defences when the tippy tappy approach fails.
    ----

    Back to Parker though, Scott that is.

    Really!? You guys think that's who we need?
    An injury prone 30 year old journey man with one half decent season under his belt which coupled with his inherent "Englishness" is bound to inflate his price to beyond ridiculous?

    All I see is another Joe Cole like disaster waiting to happen.

    I say let Citeh have him.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Liverpool and Everton have been warned by West Brom boss Roy Hodgson that he will fight to hold on to star midfielder Chris Brunt, 26, if they make an approach.
    Full story: Metro
    ----
    FIGHT!!!

    I can see Woy taking down Kenny with a crushing bear hug, but Moyes would kick his arse.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Nah, why would Moyes need to kick arse when he could unleash a Glasgow kiss or two?

    ReplyDelete
  94. I get where your coming from Star, but Glasgow kiss his arse just doesn't sound right.

    ReplyDelete
  95. With that nose of his, Moyes is more likely to puncture the object of his affection than deliver a kiss or similar sensation

    ReplyDelete
  96. and as predicted, the arsenal season gets even worse and they end up 4th.

    Champions League, your are having a stutter

    ReplyDelete
  97. Spit, considering the squad we have I think fourth is quite credible... I think most of the year we have been punching above our weight. I talk about the weakness of Un**ed's squad but when you analyse our team we don't have much really. A good striker (when he is fit), a couple of good midfielders (that have been in out out of both form and fitness), a couple of young bloods and a right back that has been fairly consistant all season... that's not a lot to mount a serious challenge for the FA cup, let alone the PL and CL.

    ReplyDelete
  98. I suppose if west ham get really skint their louche owners could make a porn film featuring Karen Brady a tea lady and herbie the hammer

    ReplyDelete
  99. or remake porn of the dead with chuckles grant

    ReplyDelete
  100. or a live action Porn the sheep starring Baa

    ReplyDelete
  101. where's me wellies?

    Well done H2H, an epic one point victory to set up a final clash with Ngog. Well done both of you. At least the FFSL championship goes to the final day!

    ReplyDelete
  102. You know that bloke - likes cleaning windows - is he still cleaning windows?

    ReplyDelete
  103. Oi Trott - this is my time - quiet - init :)

    ReplyDelete
  104. p.s. Trott - how am I doing in "da league" :)

    ReplyDelete
  105. oops, sorry FBH, missed ya there. Last time I checked you were on the verge of qualification for a Europa league spot!

    ReplyDelete
  106. Cheers Trott.

    A jammy one point victory has kept me in touch and it will be a winner takes all game this weekend.
    Mixed feelings during last nights Manc v Stoke match. First I was pissed that Pubis left out Huth but that turned out to be a blessing in disguise, second I really didn't want Citeh to win and push Arsenal down to 4th, but then I thought fuck it, I've got two Citeh players and I actually have a chance of my last game of the season meaning something, the clean sheet meant an extra 5pts and with Foley coming off the bench to repace Huth/Luiz a 58-57 win was in the bag.

    FBH, you beat second placed FUBAR, and WC Geordie, who was in 3rd, also lost meaning that only Ngog or I can win it, Star can steal second if(when) I lose the finale.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Oh yeah, before I forget, for this weekend....

    GO TROTTERS!!

    ReplyDelete
  108. Blackburn manager Steve Kean has been summoned away from his training ground preparations to India for his monthly meeting with the club's owners despite Rovers facing a vital final-day clash with Wolves.
    Full story: Daily Mail

    ----
    Could turn out to be a very expensive Indian Take Away..

    ReplyDelete
  109. Seems that the Carling Cup final was not only bad for Arsenal. I just did a bit of checking (I really should go to bed) and noticed that B'ham have only won twice in their eleven games after that match.

    The CC is cursed I tells ya.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Fucking brilliant. I spent the last 4 days cursing the fact I left Hangeland on the bench and having Carrol in front of him. Huth didn't play last night and because I MUST have 3 defenders on the pitch the game skipped Carrol and put Hangeland in.

    I'm 3rd in the H2H now. I was 18th nine weeks ago.

    Speaking of H2H, H you'd better win your last game because I might sneak into second. I can't do anything about Ngog though.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Wow!! Thats brillaint finish to the FFSL. Winner takes it all between Ngog and H2H.

    Go H2H!!!

    ReplyDelete
  112. In the main league, Jack has all but sealed the crown. Congrats Jack!!

    ReplyDelete
  113. It's not over just yet SS11.

    Last game of the season,you never know who the managers will play.

    The FFL league I have in the shop sees me going into the final game with a 3 point lead over one of my customers (Hello Matt,just in case you're reading this).Now that's squeeky bum time.

    Star,I noticed you'd weighed in with a decent score and saw Hangelaand come in for you,as he did for me.(Thanks to Ancelloti for not playing Luiz.)

    Splendid.

    ReplyDelete
  114. G'day all

    All I know is I finished mid table in the H2H... that's about right too... as mediocre as all fuck.

    ReplyDelete
  115. G'day Bo.

    I miss out on Europe in the H2H league.However these minor cup baubles can be a distraction from the league......

    ReplyDelete
  116. H2H in the Grande Robbo H2H Finale.

    C'mon the Dutch bar owning lucky SOB.

    What's with all the intrigue? Blog gets hi-jacked, Polish Intelligence involved, Robbo still with the Philip Marlowe pic. Robbo are you trying to get your name on the next James Patterson piece of cack?

    FBH, got a job yet?

    Where's Ngog(nna)finish 2nd? He still around?

    ReplyDelete
  117. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-13430187

    I know it's very easy to knock the bloke,and I know he's earned an excessive amount of cash through his career,but you can't fault him for this.

    ReplyDelete
  118. jacksofbuxton said...
    However these minor cup baubles can be a distraction from the league......
    -----------------------------
    Totally agree!!

    ReplyDelete
  119. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13424873.stm

    ReplyDelete
  120. I did enough in H2H league to avoid relegation. The Board has promised not to sack me and avail me of cash to buy players for next season. QPR's Adel Taarabt and Swansea's Darren Pratley are top of the buy list ;)

    ReplyDelete
  121. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Garry neville.

    yep, he's a twat but in the 90's, he was one hell of a right back. since then he has shared the twat mantel with cole who was one hell of a left back in the 00's

    ReplyDelete
  123. That came out of the blue Spit... what made you think of Neville?

    ReplyDelete
  124. Manchester City are planning an audacious attempt to bring Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo back to the Premier League. The Portuguese winger would replace another Manchester United old boy, Carlos Tevez, at Eastlands.
    ==========================================================

    For fucks sake, when is the oil running out in the middle east. Will we have to put up with that ponce in the PL again.

    ReplyDelete
  125. nevilles organising a testimonial and dedicating the proceeds to a man utd fan club/pub near the ground, bo, either that or spit is a big gary neville fan and thinks about him every 90 seconds, on average

    ReplyDelete
  126. Arsenal may listen to offers for midfielder Andrey Arshavin to help generate funds for manager Arsene Wenger to rebuild the team.
    =======================================================

    Rebuild the team, what the fuck has he been doing this past 6 years?

    ReplyDelete
  127. I saw that blog. As Jack said, he maybe an arsehole but that is a fine gesture.

    ReplyDelete
  128. id have ronaldo in my team ahead of messi bo. the way man city are going theyll have both of them in a couple of years time.

    ReplyDelete
  129. I prefer Messi myself... he doesn't throw himself on the ground as much as Ronaldo, or throw tantrums, or use as much hair gel, or... well you get the picture.

    ReplyDelete
  130. theyre not going to be able to rebuild much with what they get for arshavin bo. maybe the chicken shed in wengers allotment needs rebuilding. should cover that, at best

    ReplyDelete
  131. agreed bo. id have him shaved, dipped in an industrial-strength de-greasing agent, id steal his girlfriend and THEN id have him in my team ahead of messi

    ReplyDelete
  132. I agree... maybe 6-7 million... but when you add what they'll get for Fabregas and Nasri, they might be able to afford a decent English CB.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Haha... yep that would help... but i'd still take messi.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Reckon the Vale could buy a decent team with the proceeds of Arshavin though Blog.

    ReplyDelete
  135. I'd have Connor Wickham ahead of any of them.

    Don't have to pay him much as he supplements his wages with his paper round money.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Not entirely sure what the Chairman's plans are at the Pie Keys. My initial brief was to get this rather unfashionable lot into the top 5 in both leagues, but after a decent start he decided he wanted silverware.

    Unfortunately, my Chelaea like mid season slump did too much damage in both leagues for the team to catch up in time and it also got us knocked out of the Fantasy Cup fairly early on.

    Ah well, we'll see during the close season.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Is he going in the summer Jack?

    ReplyDelete
  138. I achieved my goal Star, kept em out of the relegation zone.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Not heard anything yet Bo.

    Wait until the premier league finishes I suppose,then wave him off with best wishes to warm someone's bench.

    ReplyDelete
  140. It's tough when you are one of the lower clubs, all your best youngsters are always poached.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Goeden Morgen.

    Well, well, the FFL has reached fever pitch, thanks for all the posts of encouragement, I'm trying not to let the pressure get to me but I'm already nervous and I'm finding it hard to sleep, eat or drink....... Errr..... Well..... We all know that that's a total lie of course 'cos I drink like a fish... Which I've always found to be a bit of a wierd saying, because in all my years in working in bars, clubs etc I've never seen any kind of fish ordering an alcoholic beverage at the bar, although I have seen prawns getting drowned in whisky sauce.... I digress.... Footys good innit?

    ReplyDelete
  142. Another plank ends up hurt.

    http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8250875/man-in-coma-after-car-planking-stunt-fails

    ReplyDelete
  143. Just make sure the cameras are running when you drop the trophy H2.

    The presentations are to take place at "Ramsay's Bar" Buxton.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Noel

    Was that the Aussie equivalent of red neck trailer trash?
    That police spokesman looked like he'd just woken up from the 70's.

    Before Bo's video I'd never heard of planking, is it just an Oz thing or is it worldwide?

    Luckily here in Holland we have legalised cannabis which stops the kids from doing anything stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Jacks.

    Fill the cup with beer and there's no way I'm dropping it.

    ReplyDelete
  146. H, I thougt it was an Aussie thing, but facebook seems to be full of it too, so I guess it's gone global. He's in the local hospital so it can't have been too far away from where I live. So red neck trailer trash is probably a fair assessment, judging be some of the numpties that get around.

    ReplyDelete
  147. H2

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planking_%28fad%29

    ReplyDelete
  148. Holloway2Holland said...

    Luckily here in Holland we have legalised cannabis which stops the kids from doing anything stupid.

    -----------

    or anything at all in fact

    ReplyDelete
  149. The new Green-Socialist goverment of the German state of Baden-W├╝rtemberg have instructed the police NOT to go after cannabis users or those caught with small amounts.

    Happy days.

    The law prohibiting cannabis use is federal but the german constitution allows each state to interpret the laws and devise how they are enforced, hence the freeing up of police resources to do rather more important things like solving actual crime. (not that they have much to do here anyway)

    ReplyDelete
  150. ve hef vays ov meking you toke

    ReplyDelete
  151. good news for arsenal FC

    I think its best for the club if no one person owned it. That way, they couldnt laden it with personal debt.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/13433348.stm

    ReplyDelete
  152. FFL turned out to be a damp squib for me. After briefly flirting with the Top 5 in both leagues in December, for reasons that the chairman is considering replacing me with Grant, I used my Jan wildcard and made about 10 changes. That worked out quite well, what with me going to end up in about the 15-20th place the leagues. It's H2s do nothing strategy for me next season then.

    Well atleast a nice friendly (with benefits?) game against Bells to look forward to now to end the season.

    ReplyDelete
  153. If Citeh do end up on 3rd, I fully expect another 100 million offer for Kaka or Messi (or both).
    That being said, FA cup and 3rd place fully justifies whatever money was spent I think. If they manage to rid themselves of the Barrys and Milners of the world next season, unfortunately they will become more of a threat to the title.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Thanks for the link Jack, so, it's not a new phenomenen, but it looks like a pretty new wiki page.
    Spit, ze German dibbles are relaxing the weed laws to combat planking and as Blog so rightly pointed out, any other crime that requires any sort of effort.

    ReplyDelete
  155. AnfieldHopeful said...


    It's H2s do nothing strategy for me next season then.
    --
    Don't forget the drinking to excess and forgetting to change the team part, it's a major factor in the H2 method, the do nothing strategy was FBH's gameplan, a quick look at the table will show you how well that panned out.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Wherever has Tommy B gotten to? Sad to see the early league leader languishing right at the bottom of the table.

    Jay seems to have disappeared as well. Whats with these disappearing scousers.

    ReplyDelete
  157. The number 19 may have something to with it. Apparently it is lucky for 69 year olds from Govan

    ReplyDelete
  158. Not so sure about Jay, but Tommy used to be gone from the previous Robbo blog (on the beeb) for long periods of time too. He's a globe trotter is our Tommy.
    --
    Maybe Adam's right and the thought of No19 was just too much for the average Mickey to contomplate and they all went the way of the lemming. Let's hope not though.
    ----
    In other news;

    The Metropoliten police are studying video evidence of Arsenal's game against Aston Villa from last weekend and are considering bringing up charges on a few members of the home team's defence for planking in public.

    ReplyDelete
  159. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/13436995.stm
    ------------------
    Mr. Wenger, here is one striker we can sign from our rivals.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Come on mate.

    Surely we need better then a guy who can't even get a game ahead of Crouch or Pavylechenko?

    ReplyDelete
  161. mornin' Lads and Lass, H2 and Ngog are shortlisted for the West Ham job, 4 million quid bonus for getting back up and free Olympic brew at the new stadium, quite an offer!

    ReplyDelete
  162. H2H, but he is a striker who can shoot from distance and catch opposition goal keeper off guard. Also if he does that regularly in training it will also increase alertness and skill level of our goal keepers and they can be ready for match situation.

    The problem I see is he bieng English he will be damn costly.

    ReplyDelete
  163. WHy is defoe like like the eponymous hero of hid namesake s Niver Robinson crusoe

    All his work is done by Friday

    ReplyDelete
  164. Niver .... novel

    fooling predictive toxt

    ReplyDelete
  165. forking preoperative taxidermist?

    ReplyDelete
  166. Now then - good luck to H and Ngog - may the best man (and gooner not IOU fan) win - only joking Lady Ngog
    Arab - I am doing all sorts - own company ( www.ncpower.co.uk ) , working with a mate on developing his comapny - bit of advice to another comapny and doing the odd driving job for me mate - trouble is the money is shite :)

    ReplyDelete
  167. Anyonewatching the Yoofa Cup Final thingy - pretty dull so far

    ReplyDelete
  168. G'day all

    SS, how could you suggest such a transfer... gooners have been shot for less.

    FBH, how's the non-smoking going mate?

    ReplyDelete
  169. Just reminiscing about bygone days when Spit, H2 and Red Preacherman (where has he gone?) was here at this time of the morning/night... cant say I miss Spit's jibes at my age though... he seems to have grown out of that nowadays.

    ReplyDelete
  170. After reading up on predictive text, I have come to the conclusion that your phone uses a dictionary-less disambiguation system Blog.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Hi Bo
    Going well mate - I only smoke other peoples now - so is that classed as quit?

    ReplyDelete
  172. It has improved the state of your wealth, if not your health at least FBH... I quit again, this morning actually.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Following up on the predictive text reading, I was foolish enough to click on one of wiki's hyperlinks (not recommended if seeking clarification as to its meaning) and ended up here..... I bet you wish you hadn't clicked my link. If one of the brighter commenters would post the English translation I would be much obliged.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Bo its got a dictionary, trouble is I always press the wring thing when I misspell words - which obviously with me is with extreme frequency - and enter the spelling into the dictionary of this amazing little gadget I'm typing in now. So next time the prediction comes up as a misdpellubg which I don't notice it more often I Di notice but don't care as I know 5 people max read this guff and you're all total strangers ....

    ReplyDelete
  175. Preach was a top bloke. He had a few physical and psychological issues and I remember him saying once that we were part of hid cure . I prefer to think that his issues were successfully resolved and he didn't feel the need to come here any mire .

    ReplyDelete
  176. Zoots and gazutd are the guys I miss. I know gaz pissed some of you off but he was funny and I've hit a few Irish friends who go out of their way to ne offensive ... its just the way the Irish are ... fucking annoying. but they mean no harm

    except for the terrorists of course

    ReplyDelete
  177. *got a few Irish friends, not hit

    ReplyDelete
  178. Interesting times in the home of brums Colin Doyle......


    The involvement of Doyle and Foster was revealed when Doyle’s wife Becky went
    public on Twitter, saying her husband’s behaviour had shown a lack of
    “respect” to the club. She said: “------- off with my husband getting in at
    4am with Fossy [Foster] and waking me up. Celebrate next week when you are
    safe. Have some respect.”


    Although she was persuaded to delete her original comment, she later wrote:
    “So angry, what’s the point of Twitter if your not allowed to write what you
    want on it” and added: “Golf bag and clubs still for sale. comes with one
    hungover husband.” Her Twitter account had been removed on Wednesday.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Twitter wot a blessing for shamelessly self promoting celebs and lazy journos

    ReplyDelete
  180. Bo,

    them were the days.

    zoot, gaz, H2H (pre pub), fbh, preach, tommy, trott.... all seemed to have more time and more to talk to in the later hours.

    and it was funny.

    ReplyDelete
  181. Re Preach,

    cant think his mood would have improved much when for the second time in 2 seasons, his team started the season well only to implode towards the end and go out in the play offs.

    the painful life of a footy fan.

    I've always have had an affinity with Forest, maybe next year?

    ReplyDelete
  182. and of course, not to forget the occasional wum who'd appear to rile a bunch of us up and get the thread going...

    taking a moment

    ReplyDelete
  183. on a more serious note, Lizzy's visit to ROI shows exactly why she's a much better option to have as head of state than a potential president Camoron.

    dignified and hopefully will lead to better relations in future based on equality and partnership than on hatred.

    but most ordinary people on each side of the sea dont even have a problem with the other to begin with.

    ReplyDelete
  184. Arsenal will seek to reinforce the centre of their defence with the £12m signing of Blackburn's Christopher Samba.
    ---

    should have done it back in january already when he was stalling on a new contract

    ReplyDelete
  185. West Ham do not have a manager but the club are interested in signing free agent Cardiff striker Jay Bothroyd.
    ---

    more 2nd rate footballers? just because he's english, I see.

    ReplyDelete
  186. The Premier League's 20 clubs made losses of nearly £500bn in 2009/2010, while an average of 68% was spent on wages.
    Full story: Guardian
    ---

    blimey, I know they didnt make much profit but a loss of £500bn does sound a bit excessive.

    ReplyDelete
  187. Arsenal striker Robin van Persie says the club's staff used the tracking systems players wear to monitor their performance to check on a computer whether a team-mate was telling the truth when he said he had to go home to pick up something. Van Persie added: "They could actually see he really did go home and came straight back, so he wasn't lying. And now we don't have a private life!"
    ---

    waste of time, obviously.

    could have retrieved the same info from their twitter updates, iPhones, iPads or other sanitary paraphernalia the modern footballers use.

    ReplyDelete
  188. ive "known" a few really top irish women, spit heheheh but seriously i love the irish thyre much more fun than the welsh who i find hostile and incomprehensible. i was accosted by the welsh mafia once. they made me an offer i couldnt understand

    but i agree royals are fine as long as we keep them as regal pets it deflates some of the hubris of political figures who become presidents like that little twerp sarkozy. who'd want a president cameron, he'd be off the richter scale for overpriviliged smugness.

    but : too many benefit-scrounging minor royals benefiting from our weird system of communism for the rich (massive state hand outs for royals, bankers, farmers etc) so lets have a turkey shoot or make them play Total Wipeout with only the winner getting onto the civil list

    ReplyDelete
  189. its good to know though that if a player has to go home to collect their air rifle theyre not slipping off to meet a prozzy, spit. isnt technology wonderful?

    a mate of mine has a friend in germany - allegedly - who was caught on a gatzo camera, but was so sure that he wasnt speeding that he went round again to be sure - he was caught again. THIS time he went round at 20 mph, sure by now it was a defective camera

    a week later he got three fines supported by three photos of him not wearing his seat belt

    ReplyDelete