Tuesday, 21 June 2011

The Fun of the FIFA Fiefdom

Now I don’t want to get all heavy this week but might I begin by quoting the FIFA statement on Honest Jack Warner: “As a consequence of Mr Warner's resignation, all ethics committee procedures against him have been closed and the presumption of innocence is maintained".

Well there you go - in FIFA land it appears that you can be as dodgy as a Peter Beardsley haircut for years and years but as long as you resign before they finish their investigation you are presumed innocent. Dunno about you but there’s something in that very statement that suggests Warner is guiltier than a shepherd caught with a ewe’s hind-legs in his welly-boots.

Vice President, Mr Warner, does not mean President of Vice.


Look out sepp n Jack. Check your watches are still on your wrists!


It strikes me that when the police come round my house looking for stolen goods I can just tell ‘em that I don’t live there and re-direct them to my blameless criminal record.

If I get caught speeding on a motorway I’m sure the Old Bill will be more than satisfied when I remind them that I gave up my driving licence a couple of days ago so the fines no longer apply.

Fact is, Blatter’s FIFA have such contempt for the traditions of law and ethics that they wriggle off the hook like greased Berlusconis at every turn.

Warner’s insistence that he’s done nowt wrong is accompanied by a curious mention of the FIFA tradition of offering ‘gifts’. I mean what the fuck does that mean, Jack? If you go for a meeting with Mr. Warner what can you expect? A paperweight? A signed photograph of Dwight Yorke? A contract for the building rights to a new football stadium/education facility?

I think, though, that it’s the blatancy that feels so insulting. Like Assad’s ridiculous speech blaming a little bunch of ‘saboteurs’ for a wholesale nationwide protest in Syria. Or the fact that the senior executives responsible for the Potters Bar crash all worked for Railtrack – which no longer exists – so they cannot be hauled in front of the beak.

I mean are we really supposed to be that thick?

Blatter’s been greasing so many palms nowadays that it’s impossible to shake anyone in FIFA by the hand without sliding off and hitting your chin on the million-dollar shagpile. The man who put the Swizz into Swizzerland is proving pretty well non-stick too. But anyone who believes the ethics committee operates independently of the Sepp-tic head must be lost in a cloud of hippy happiness somewhere in a field in Somerset.

And FIFA, remember, is an organisation that is intent on laying down codes of conduct to the game’s officials, its players, its managers. From what you can glean from this latest hollow joke of a ruling, that means keep diving, feigning, tugging and whingeing. Get away with as much as you can. It’s what football people do, isn’t it?

Meanwhile one of sport’s most fastitdious gentlemanly pursuits has got itself a new hero. Rory McIlroy, a leggy pixie of a man, tonked the field to all parts at Congressional last week.

Here's Rory modelling the new McIlroy Ear-Muffs

I’m not a golf nut. In fact I only have to see a Pringle sweater and I want to firebomb the nearest Edinburgh Woollen Mill. For me, the question ‘What’s your handicap?’ is right up there in the list of crap conversational ice-breakers with ‘What are you driving these days?’ and ‘You look a bit like that Gary Sinise fella out of CSI.’

(By the way my golf handicap is that I’m shit at it.)

Nevertheless you can’t help warming to the Tigger-toed lad from Holywood. Anyone who can smile while they’re earning vast sums of money has got to be welcomed. If only Andy Murray could summon up more than the odd rictus grimace, eh?

Plus McIlroy possesses that easiness of style which suggests that the golf fairies were at one end of his Moses basket when he was a gurgling babe, magicking touch into his fingertips. (I’m not sure what the golf fairies look like, mind, although I bet Ian Poulter has got the outfit somewhere.)

And of course, young Rory has turned around two terrible experiences – the last at Augusta was as bad it gets, and got stronger from it. When a lad like him plays in a way that a pitch n putt plonker like me can entirely empathise with, then you know the lad’s having the worst round since the Blue Bell ran out of beer on draught.

Even the American galleries were right behind him, although there wasn’t any home-grown talent to root for, was there?

How delightful it is to live in times where American sporting dominance seems to be on the wane! Wimbledon starts this week and the men’s champion has as much chance of being American as it has of being a pony.

All right the women’s champ will probably be a Williams – which most people have told me will be boring. Well you know what if it’s not a Williams it’ll probably be some six-foot-one inch blonde Eastern European with all the personality of a flagpole. So you takes your pick.

I mean who wants to spend two weeks looking at this?

If I had to choose a winner this fortnight, I’d go for the weather, narrowly followed by Nadal. I reckon Venus’ll win the lasses (they tend to share it out between them Williamses). There’ll be one British woman in the second round draw (Keothavong’s playing some other English lass who’s 2,376 in the world).

And Murray’ll make the semis. Sigh.

Meanwhile Villa-Boas has resigned as Porto coach and appears to be on his way to Stamford Bridge. He’s like Mourinho’s Mini-me. You wouldn’t be surprised if Jose’s funding a Mourinho-cloning laboratory would you? Be interesting to see how many of the old guard allow themselves to be lectured by a lad who’s barely out of his managerial short trousers.

Fact is, Chelski could do with an offload of the Drog, Lamps, Essien et al. Maybe the New Boy’ll make it happen. Interesting times.

244 comments:

  1. rain rain go away
    rafael nadal all the way

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  2. Golf - A criminal waste og good countryside played by satorially unimaginitive fascists. And that's just the women.

    Tennis - A waste of a good multi-storey car park played by testosterone fuelled grunting fitness freaks. And that's just the women.

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  3. ..."of"... not "og"...sartorially not satorially. I really must slow down...

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  4. in image of Jose Morinho, the special one, AVB calls himself the 'shitty one.'

    Welcome to England.

    A 33 year old would be competing against the old guard... interesting times.

    Over in Ingerland, they dont like it when you rub em the wrong way. Specially by someone far younger. Even more so if he never played the game professionally himself.

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. NIce one Mr Robson.

    Couldn't agree more with the comments on FIFA, that Jack is just gonna walk away scott free is feckin ludicrous. The game is now tainted and the stink of corruption that is eminating from the halls of its leaders will sufficate, choke and kill us all.










    OK, maybe a tad mellow dramatic, but everything seems worse when you're nursing a hangover. ;)

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  7. Spitfire said...
    Over in Ingerland, they dont like it when you rub em the wrong way. Specially by someone far younger. Even more so if he never played the game professionally himself
    ---
    Funny that, because they do like to be rubbed by pros', who are much younger then them, in other ways.

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  8. Porto manager Andre Villas-Boas is unsure about whether he is ready to take on the role of Chelsea boss and wants assurances from Blues owner Roman Abramovich that he is not a short-term fix.
    Full story: Daily Star

    The only assuarance he will get is that he will recieve the Spanish Archer once Roman is bored with him.

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  9. Great stuff Robbo, mornin' lads, hahaha, the ewe's legs were in his wellies, Villa-Boas might as well be a ewe, challenged with winning the champs league! Baaaaaaa.

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  10. I mean are we really supposed to be that thick?

    ----

    TAKE 2

    yes.

    the swiss wont challenge them. stacks of nazi gold. summary of lost post. cant be bothered.

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  11. i thought the Villa-Boss was mcleish?

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  12. the dour scots tennis player, Andy McDour or whatever his name is, those motivational tweets embroidered by his mum on his tennis bag...wtf?

    if you ever wanted a reason to discourage your boy from high sporting achievement surely Andy McDour is the living exemplification? boring. grouchy. joyless. sulkily charmless like a teenager glued to his x-box, on court and off-court. this we knew, but the tweets were a new insight into the true depths of his shallowness. no trophy girlfriend nor billion in the bank can compensate.

    yes they can. ignore the above.

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  13. blogdignag said...
    i thought the Villa-Boss was mcleish?
    ---
    Nice one.

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  14. he likes his young mediteranean types doesnt he, old roman of the golden wellyboots

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  15. I, For one totally agree that the Warner situ at FIFA is dodiger than a chinese from one of the locals down in Folkestone; I mean, even to save their own two faced hides they should do the investigation still or as you say he's got away with murder by saying he was the guy next door. The FA are probably to scared to be seen Sepp bashing after the rollicking they got during the nonsense of Fatter's re-crowning as lord of the turdmine that they won't say boo to a goose now, but someone should say to FIFA 'hang on, summat is awfully fishy 'ere.'

    Time to pull out of FIFA's world of crap.

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  16. Freddie - dont worry Henry kissinger and placido domingo will knock some heads together at fifa

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  17. Domingo will be so inefective that he'll have to change his name to Placebo.

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  18. trott hows the back? its a world of pain on here at the moment, your hangover is blurring the internet, H. or is that my hangover?

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  19. I've just consumed large amounts of bacon, Bloggs, so my hangover is fading, normal internet service should resume shortly.

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  20. bacon works for me mate, one rasher over each eye, crack an egg into each ear, cherry tomato in each nostril, whole onion in gob, then fry head. never fail cure for hangover

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  21. Following the news that Jack Warner is presumed innocent because the investigation into him was never finished, I think it's time to reassess the careers of Adolf Hitler (never tried), Osama Bin Laden (shot, not tried) and Josef Stalin. Presiding judge Septic Bladder said "all innocent. Now can i have my money please"

    Jedi

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  22. Thanks for asking Blog, it's slightly less fucked up than it was yesterday. I can lie down or stand up, transitioning between the two positions is an issue and taking a dump is a frightening proposition. The lap top is on a shoe box on the kitchen counter. The doc gave me a selection of pain killers, anti-inflamatories and muscle relaxers which work well. The vodka reccommended by the chiropractor might not be such a good idea!

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  23. trott, just mix and match 'em all.

    Thats my advice any way.

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  24. Dr. Spit, I'll report back with a full report (if I live).

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  25. There is a sure cure for a hangover but I suspect drinking moderately wouldn't catch on

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  26. Apparently bin Hammam is worth a fortune and has enough dosh to buy half-a-dozen Blatters and tuck them into his back-pocket, so Blatter's only tactic is to smear the guy. So, it's a stitch-up, Blatter is going after bin Hammam for having the balls to challenge his oh-so-cushy presidency.

    The giving and taking of bribes is now the norm in every corner of the world -- you can't take a crap in the woods without paying the bear his due. Most of our politicians who get paid to sit on company boards of directors are just taking legal backhanders. It's all part of the new world order -- how else could you explain the appointment of probably the most obnoxious, most hated human being who has lived in my lifetime sit in judgement on an ethics committee? Stand up Heinz Alfred Kissinger OBE, best mate of Augusto Pinochet. Like Obama, Kissinger also won a Nobl Peace Prize then went on to dictate US policy which caused untold havoc and misery to many millions, especially in South America.

    On September 16, 1973, five days after Pinochet had assumed power, the following exchange about the coup took place between Kissinger and President Nixon:
    Nixon: Nothing new of any importance or is there?
    Kissinger: Nothing of very great consequence. The Chilean thing is getting consolidated and of course the newspapers are bleeding because a pro-Communist government has been overthrown.
    Nixon: Isn't that something. Isn't that something.
    Kissinger: I mean instead of celebrating – in the Eisenhower period we would be heroes.
    Nixon: Well we didn't – as you know – our hand doesn't show on this one though.
    Kissinger: We didn't do it. I mean we helped them. [garbled] created the conditions as great as possible.
    Nixon: That is right. And that is the way it is going to be played.

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  27. I'm on a brandy only diet. I've lost three days already.

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  28. A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's
    old age.'  The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK you're ugly as well.'

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  29. Britain united for 2012 football

    Footballers from Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and England will be available for selection for Team GB at the 2012 Olympics.

    There has been opposition to all-British teams competing in London from every home nation apart from England.

    But the British Olympic Association said an "historic agreement" has now been reached.

    "It has been a long, six-year journey to get to this point," said BOA chief executive Andy Hunt.

    The last time Britain competed in an Olympic football event was in 1960, when the men's side failed to win a medal in Rome after beating Taiwan 3-2, drawing 1-1 with Italy and losing 4-3 to Brazil.

    ----

    lest get humiliated together.

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  30. @TrotterUSA: "I can lie down or stand up, transitioning between the two positions is an issue and taking a dump is a frightening proposition."

    Sorry to hear about your back -- I spent nearly a whole year trying to get mine sorted, eventually had to have surgery to remove large chunks of two discs. Didn't walk for nearly four months, left leg was dead and was on morphine for two weeks. The morphine turned the contents of my intestines rock hard, and I used to scream in pain every time I went for a dump. Scared the living daylights out of the kids, and one of them started getting grey hairs at the age of 12!

    The frigging doctors only decided I had to have an MRI scan ten months after the initial injury -- if the MRI was the first thing they'd done, they'd have saved me a lot of pain and misery. In ten months I read every text book ever written about back injuries and could have opened my own bloody consultancy but for the lack of a piece of paper certifying me as an expert!
    ____________________________________
    I am not Anonymous -- I am Profile.

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  31. That's not a cure Adam, it's a precaution..... and a damn silly one.
    ====
    Get well soon Trott.

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  32. Profile, I'll be having an MRI end of this week if it doesn't show signs of improvement. I've scheduled a follow up with the doc for Friday and a blow job tonight. I can load the washing machine with a sand wedge but as yet I haven't found a way to pick up the dog shit, this is why I have kids!

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  33. Hellfire those American doctors give good cure.

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  34. Have you tried acupuncture, Trotts, doesn't always work I know - I tried it once for pins and needles

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  35. I tried that too, felt a bit of a prick though.

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  36. and I found yoga useful for toothache , enabling me to transcend dental medication

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  37. It's a good day here in the Lowlands, I've just discovered that a Supermarket chain are selling Tyrrells Crisps, got me a few bags of the Salt and Vineger varieties. It might not sound like much to you residents of Blighty, but for an ex-pat, this is as close to briliant as it gets.

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  38. Bad show Trotts. Noo Joisey never did anyone any good. Hopefully it isnt as bad as Profile's case and you get back to wasting your time on the golf courses of NJ.

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  39. or cakes even. Though cokes might be easier to find in holland.

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  40. Its the little things, h your miss the cricket York de nut n'all I bet

    I won a 5 a side tourney last week , we were crap but used aggression and anti-football to steam roller the opposition. In the semi I kicked their star player up in the air within 15 sec. Semi final and final both 0-0 and won on penalties. I've been grinning ever since at the thought of their man thundering the ball over the bar.

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  41. Haha cricket York de nut or in other mangled worms... crocket uit de mur.... trickling prescriptive ticks

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  42. Don't you ever criticise Stoke City again then Blogidy.....

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  43. Someone get me some of them jaffa cokes, ill take 10 dozen

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  44. It wasn't pretty to watch, jacks, so everyone kept telling us. But we won. *rsen*l fans take note.

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  45. 50 comments before they got mentioned.

    I think that's a record for this year,although the all time record belongs to the blog entitled "Trophy winners over the last 6 years".

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  46. haha..whats with the sudden surge of anti-arsene/arsenal sentiments jacks ?

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  47. I tried acupuncture Blog when I wanted to quit smoking, it took 28 years but it eventually worked.

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  48. We gotta version of Jaffa Cakes over here, AH and as far as I know the coke is seedless too.

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  49. I've got nothing against Arsenal AH,just fancied a change from the annual will he/won't he go to Barca/Sign a 20 goal a season striker/new none dodgy keeper etc etc etc.

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  50. We went to see Lee Evans a few years back Trotter,he recommended using patches.

    Put one over each eye and you can't find your fags.

    Although admittedly that didn't work for Adam,he just turned the volume on the stereo up.

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  51. I's tedious for us too Jacks, Arsene keeps the purse strings tighter then a ducks bottom and his plans close to his chest. Due to a lack of information comming from the club the meeja go into fantasy mode and we're linked with players like Dafoe and Barton just to fill column inches. The Cesc affair is just to boring to waste time on, Barca wage a PR war via La Marca, yet fail to make a decent bid, indeed tedious.


    OK, that's enough of that, we're all in this together, forgive and forget etc, etc.....
    I think I mentioned Arsenal once, but I think I got away with it (Fawlty Towers Style ;) )

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  52. In fairness H,

    you hadent mantioned Arsenal untill you, erm, mentioned Arsenal to appologise for it.

    Now dont do it again. (Centurian from the life of Brian style)

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  53. Scotland and Wales have reacted angrily to claims that their players could take part in a united Great Britain football team at the 2012 Olympics.

    The British Olympic Association said an "historic agreement" has been reached with the English Football Association.

    But Welsh FA president Phil Pritchard said: "We're not part of any agreement. The FA have no authority to speak on our behalf, they do not represent us."

    Scottish football officials were equally indignant about the BOA claim.

    Scottish Football Association chief executive Stewart Regan has made it clear that there is "absolutely no appetite" for his players to take part.

    ---

    I see a Great Britain-scale fuck up on the horizon...

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  54. I wonder if there is any sporting authority in this country (England, not Great Britain) that does not go out of its way to look stupid.

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  55. is it too late to move the 2012 Olympics to Qatar?

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  56. I say they can have the winter olympics if they want.

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  57. I'd like to see the IOC trying to justify that Spit.

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  58. That McIlroy lad looks a bit like Danny Noonan from the 1980 film "Caddyshack".

    You be the judge
    http://caddyshackthemovie.warnerbros.com/cmp/meet.htm

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  59. Rodney Dangerfield is god.

    Interesting article I was just reading on the bbc ... why are "we" (even if you dont count mcillroy as British which he doesn't seem to think himself) brilliant at golf - more UK played on the top ten than US players now, and so utterly shit at tennis

    Both middle class sports. Golf a bit more egalitarian in image at least tho, less plagued by high profile dickheads like henman or Murray (who'd want their kids to turn out like THAT?) . It's not for want of investment but tennis blew 40 million on a national centre which no one uses

    Image? Work ethic? Dedication? Rorys dad is working class. There's a sense of the cliff edge with poorer kids - this sport or nothing?

    I dunno why are we good at some sports and not others?

    And why are we do bloody average at the one we really want to be world breaters in?

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  60. @TrotterUSA said... "Profile, I'll be having an MRI end of this week if it doesn't show signs of improvement. I've scheduled a follow up with the doc for Friday and a blow job tonight."

    Private Health Insurance/Medicare pays for BJs?

    I'd better ask my GP if I can get one on the NHS, because after my op I got left with residual nerve damage and permanent sciatica.

    And don't do the acupuncture unless you want to become a human sprinkler (I'm told pee is good for weeding the garden).
    ____________________________________
    I am not Anonymous -- I am Profile.

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  61. Noooooo all my treatment is privately arranged. Obamacare doesn't offer blow jobs although I hear they were included in the original Clinton proposal.

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  62. Heheh.

    I'm off to default on my debts.

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  63. @TrotterUSA "... included in the original Clinton proposal".

    The original proposal was handled by Hilary when she was First Lady.

    Now, I was reading about Huma Abedin who is aide to Hilary. Huma, wife of Anthony Weiner, stood by her man cause she is supposedly sharing Hilary's bed and Bill Clinton is quoted as saying that Hilary has "probably eaten more pussy than I have" (http://conservativetimes.org/?p=1292).

    So couldn't have been BJs they were talking about, unless Monica was doing both Clintons (nearly said clit-ons then) and must have pleased Hilary no end for BJs to be included in what was her idea originally.

    (Disclaimer: information in this post is re-quoted from other websites and in no way originates with the poster known as "I am Profile".)
    ____________________________________
    I am not Anonymous -- I am Profile.

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  64. I just bought a packet of smokess. On the front it has a table listing the causes of death in Australia which reads... Tobacco 19019.. Alcohol 2831.. Motor vehicle accidents 1731.. Illegal drugs 863 and murders 203. Now if a guy is high on alcohol and drugs, just been shot, has a packet of cigs in his pocket and is killed in a motor accident... they would list him under tobacco related deaths.

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  65. Meanwhile, Chelsea's England Under-21 international Daniel Sturridge could be set for a season-long loan to Newcastle, who are short of firepower following the sales of Andy Carroll and Kevin Nolan.
    ---

    Sturridge has shown that he is willing to put his head down and work on his game rather than seek a big contract straight away and warm some bench.

    Good for the lad. Hopefully, good for England.

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  66. Bo,

    I thought you quit smoking?

    I am down to a couple over the weekend but dont smoke during the week.

    Although the coming 4 days may be a bit different owing to the fact that I am in france.

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  67. Mainly use the smoke to mask the smell of cheese and garlic.

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  68. Spit, I give up smoking once a week... getting pretty good at quitting now.

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  69. Is all this travelling due to your job or have you won lotto?

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  70. Sadly no Lotto win Bo.

    I have travelled much of Europe during my student years and later for work but my wife hasnt so every time we find a couple of days on our hands, we fill the car up and hit the road.

    our good luck that we are based smack in the middle of a lot of places worth seeing and a lot of roads worth driving on.

    Just making hay while the sun shines.

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  71. The sun shines most of the time here mate... maybe I need to learn to make hay.

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  72. I am more a member of the Top Gear school of thought.

    If a journey is worth taking, its well worth taking in a car. If I can drive somewhere in a day, I'd rather not fly there.

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  73. If I could drive to Europe from here I would... I don't like flying at all.

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  74. Bo,

    I take it you wont have much time on your euro-trip this summer but if you could spare a day or two, just hire yourself a car and explore the countryside.

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  75. I used to love flying. Had a contract job in Bremen where I used to fly from stuttgart to Bremen and back the same day for 2 to 3 times a week.


    But since the whole terrorism malarkey, the pleasure's been sapped out of air travel.

    There's only so many times you can take off your shoes and belt and cuff-links and watch...

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  76. the things I've seen, Jacks, I wish I could tell you but then I'd have to ...

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  77. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13873800.stm

    And so it starts.

    We've bought a couple of strikers in to presumably replace Connor.

    £8m is a bit low though.

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  78. I think it's just futher proof that the transfer market's gone mad Jacks, when people are saying that a just turned 18 year old with a season in the Championship is a bargain at 8mill.

    vd Vaart cost around the same and he had CL experience and has played in a WC final.

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  79. An 18-yr old, who didnt even get to play in the U-21s. Liverpool will probably pay 20 mil for him then.

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  80. ******* bought Walcott for 15 mil and he had only one season in the championship... he hasn't proved to be worth the money... Connor may be a bargain at 8 mil.

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  81. Spit, I am hiring a car in Bordeaux and England, so I shall be seeing the countryside at my own pace... pretty quick pace I may add.

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  82. Indeed he may, Bo, but with the same reasoning he may be a stinking pile of pooh.


    Just to clarify, I have nothing against young Wickham and I hope that Ipswich get a butt load of cash for him, if he chooses to go.

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  83. Bo,

    where do you plan to go from Bordeaux?

    my suggestion, dont take the Autoroute for the first 50 or so km. The B roads and the little towns and villages are beautiful.

    Have a baguette and an espresso. light up a cigarette or two.

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  84. Spitfire said...
    Bo,

    where do you plan to go from Bordeaux?
    --------
    That sounds like it could of been the title of a song from Vera Lynn.

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  85. speaking of songs, I was introduced to music by Cora Emarald.

    The dutch had been keeping her voice well hidden...

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  86. thats Caro Emerald.

    Not Cora.

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  87. She's popular over here Spit, her album was at number one for ages (beating the record of MJ's Thriller)

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  88. Andre Villas-Boas confirmed as Chelsea manager
    ----
    I wonder if he'll last past Christmas?

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  89. Past Christmas, he'll start to take stock
    And the very next day, he'll dispense with Andre,
    This year, to save him from tears
    he should look back to someone Special, Special.

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  90. Apologies to all..what with all the talk of songs and H2 reference to last christmases, it just kinda rolled off.

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  91. We'll let that slide AH.............

    Once!! ;)

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  92. Common sense being not that common and all that?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-13873091

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  93. We need more of this all over the world.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13870953

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  94. My recommendations for fifas Wise Men panel, right balance of populism and tyranny I think....

    Yehoudi menuen
    Dave lee Travis the hairy cornflake
    Kim jong-il &
    Dana International

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  95. Ipswich Ipswich ferking Ipswich can we PLEASE talk about something else now?

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  96. Finally a decision based on common sense than bollox and gut feelings.

    Chris Hughton named Birmingham City manager.

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  97. mornin' Lads, as today is the 22nd day of the month we should talk about things that begin with the 22nd letter of the alphabet, which is 'V'.... Vera Lynn already got a mention so Vale would be a good topic.

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  98. Van Persie maybe? And what his team need to buy this season ?

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  99. A Lovvvvvvvvve story

    Vulpine Vladimir from Venezuela vends violets from his van, very versatile is vlad very volatile too, thought Valerie as he plied her with vodka in her Volvo, valuing her vulva.

    It was Valentines day ,Vuckin hell Vlad voiced the vicissitudes of every veteran Valentino ....valeries vengeance vied with her victimhood....voila Dr Vox, vigilant but visibly vexed, his verdict - venereal disease.

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  100. Well be stuffed for conversational topics the day after tomorrow

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  101. not really blogs. we can talk about what arsenal's chances would be come X'mas.

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  102. Brilliant that Blog and not a mention of Vale!

    Are we on the Wanderers now?

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  103. I'm a bit ahead of you guys so V is not for me... the letter for today is W. Because of my well noted love and respect for politicians, especially those of the American persuasion, I thought I would dedicate today to the greatest of them all... George "Doubleya" Bush. This man during his tenure of office managed to bankrupt one of the the largest economies in the world, secured the future oil requirements of his country for the next 100 years, was responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people thoughout the world, made some of the most entertaining speaches in political history and has been quoted almost as often as Shakespeare. Who can forget such gems as:

    "More and more of our imports come from overseas.", "The United States is committed to the worldwide elimination of torture and we are leading this fight by example.", "Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere.", ", "Our health care system is the envy of the world.", "One of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq with the war on terror.", "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.", "... is our children learning" and perhaps my favourite "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." The latter quote needs to be seen to be appreciaated however, so here is a link if you are interested - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ux3DKxxFoM

    I wont forget "Doubleya" in a hurry, that's for certain.

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  104. wtf they've killed off peter parker? they can't do that I learnt to read reading marvel comics

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  105. Come and visit us in the country Stew....wed be really pleased to see you...do you still see er ....there's a horse...he lives in a field....come and stay Stew....its great here ...er....there's two horses the horse he's got a friend ....er.....bring some coke

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  106. blog,

    that was simply awfull, but since you are teh only one trying to keep this forsaken place breathing,

    BRAVO, mein freund. BRAVO!!!!


    See you all next week.

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  107. don't worry spits I can do much worse than that

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  108. this blog is more alive than spiderman

    ReplyDelete
  109. http://newsthump.com/2011/06/23/abramovic-getting-impatient-as-villas-boas-enters-second-trophyless-day/

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  110. I would've thought the mourinho looky-like guy being appointed boss wouldve been enough to get BHB out of hiding and back to posting, but apparently not.

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  111. Villas-Boas said: "I can understand that Chelsea are obsessed with the Champions League, but Champions Leagues are not won by the best clubs. They are won by clubs that are lucky."
    ----------------------------
    Try saying that to Barcelona.

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  112. Part of the Spurs statement after having their review of the Olympic Stadium decision rejected reads "The club continues to hold discussions with both local and national government bodies in order to seek to determine a feasible stadium solution." I am not sure where they are coming from there. I thought there was already a feasible stadium solution in place with West Ham and Newham Council as the future occupants.

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  113. This blog is only just more alive than spiderman.

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  114. Robbo if you're out there you are a hero mate prince of bloggers why this is parked on an obscure back path of the interweb I just don't know

    thank you

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  115. Great story in the sun ...Wife dies after she wakes up at her own funeral...you have to laugh

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  116. Theyve found a 17th c cannabis pipe in Shakespeares garden, next to a burial pit containing the remains if countless monkeys next to rusting 16 th c typewriters

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  117. And that concludes my review of the papers ...boiiinnnggg

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  118. I suppose this is what happens when you take Ar***al off the subject list ;-)

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  119. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13902298.stm

    "A few people are calling it the first 'twansfer'," he told BBC Somerset.

    ____________________________________

    Disagree,Woy's being making twansfers for years now

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  120. I'm fine with it personally jacks

    I see Cheryl spent the night with cashly.. The Ex Fucked Her?

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  121. I think the blog dynamic changed a long time ago Blogidy.

    As long as the standards remain high from the author,that's all that counts.

    As for Cheryl,I think she's had such a rough time of late,she just wanted to spend some time with someone worse off than her.

    ReplyDelete
  122. http://theballisround.co.uk/2011/06/24/olympic-spirit/

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  123. Well there's less of a dynamic ain't there jacks nothing I can do about that BUT ....
    Confession Time*NARCISSISM ALERT* , jack, mate I enjoy the banter with you and the lads and bskyb but the.main reason I post on here is ...

    .....I think I'm hilarious

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  124. If you need any help looking for your bushel (not Gary) blogs,do let me know.

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  125. Afternoon chaps.

    I see no one has mentioned the England v Canada U21 WC from this week...

    What's that you say?

    Oh, you didn't realise it was on... well let me fill you in.

    A fine performance, from the young 3 lions saw them with one foot in the next round (with a game stiil to go) until they managed to snatch a draw from the jaws of victory in a manner that only an England team (or a certain red and white wearing team from North London) could manage.

    Here, check it out;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBbrL0S_9fI

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  126. Ooops, I've just noticed that it was mentioned on the Beebs gossip column, with a link to todays Daily Fail. Funny that, seeing that it happened on Wednesday.

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  127. It's being shown on Eurosport H2.

    Some unexpected nations in this U17 tournament.

    Rwanda was our first game as I remember.

    http://www.worldfootball.net/wettbewerb/u17-h-wm/

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  128. mornin' lads, wassup, have the team that shalln't be named bought Cahill yet?

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  129. Indeed it is, Jacks, I have all the games on the box in the bar, gotta get my footy fix somehow. From what I've seen so far, Ze Germans are looking the strongest team, but many of the other results are hard to call.

    There's some shoddy refereeing (but that's nothing new) and it's a shame that the stadiums are empty, otherwise it's a decent competition to watch and if there's no games on there's always a CONCACAF Gold Cup match to ave a butchers at. (Chicarito played a blinder for Mechiko, the other day)

    Later this week the Womens WC starts, after having a gander at Spits link the other day I might even take an interest in that too. Next month the actors guild trophy, aka the Copa de America is on, so I'll be looking forward to some high precision diving, ref fooling and all round dirty cheating tactics on offer.

    Then it's only a short wait unti the real deal begins again, yep, the Europa League qualifacation rounds... Hooray!

    ReplyDelete
  130. Speaking of Women's WC (not the loo)

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13813121.stm

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  131. Don't be silly Trott, he's not an unheard of Fench/Swiss hybrid from a foreign second division club that no ones ever heard of, so there's no way he's going to go to the Stadium with the Araby sounding name, not to mention he'd probably cost more then 10p and a few Green Shield stamps.

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  132. Hope's done well, Jacks, her team have beaten two of the world's top teams in recent friendlies, if she wins this tournament I say give her Capello's job.

    Silly idea????

    Maybe, but on the other hand, who would of said 20 odd years ago that our national team would be managed by a Swede or an Itie?
    Times, they be a changing.

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  133. I admire your logic H and hope it's all true.

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  134. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  135. It's elementary, my dear Trotson.

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  136. That was almost as unreal as Rob Green in the South Africa. If anything happens to Hart, we are well screwed in the Euros. If he stays fit, we're obviously going to win it at a canter.

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  137. Hart or no Hart, we're screwed in the Euros anyway.

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  138. Dont lose Hart H2, we're going to do Fab-oulously.

    Where the dickens is everyone ?

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  139. I wish we could talk more about Arsenal, just like in the old days.

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  140. Bo, if you're out there - I watched the NRL game played in Perth lastnight. What shite weather you guys were having. The pitch was a lake and 40 metre kicks were stopping dead in the water making for a pretty interesting game. And a crowd of 15,000 - not bad for an uncovered stadium that bans umbrellas for a game played during a monsoon.

    Noel

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  141. Noel, we had 30 cm of rain in an hour last night. Still we only get weather like that 4-5 times a year so it isn't too hard to take.

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  142. This had me in fucking stitches.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaOVNqA7lBA

    Noel

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  143. Saffy got it spot on Anon.....

    It's like Power Rangers gone wrong lol.
    SaffyRocks 2 hours ago 36

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  144. The team that cant be named may have signed a new midfielder... thought we were after defenders.

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  145. wot the beejaybus are juve wearing next year? Pink with a big pink arse on it.... luciano moggi ex juve coach famoosly said "gays can't play football' well we'll see about that ...

    http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/the-best-and-worst-football-kits-of-20112012-2300618.html?action=Gallery&ino=8

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  146. http://www.thesportcollective.com/the-problem-with-football-punditry/2011/05/

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  147. It is indeed horrid Blogs, but, Juve's original kit was also pink and black, until, at the turn of the last century, some one told 'em they looked like a bunch of pooftas, so on a visit to England some thieving Guissepe half inched Notts County's strip and they've been playing in the black n white stripes ever since.

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  148. Jacks have you assassinated all the arsenal fans?

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  149. H you're still alive. Thank god. I thought jacks had....

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  150. Broke my old gun and Moore, off to buy a warsop

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  151. No Bloggs, Jacks hasn't killed me (yet ;p) but his cunning plan to post a really good link about pundits, which is really, really long is keeping me busy and away from posting. (I'm only half way through it now)

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  152. Were not assassinated Blog... just tonguetied.

    That's a good article Jack... I can't comment on it though because we don't get the same commentary team you guys get. We don't get MOTD either.... that makes us lucky I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  153. http://www.thesportcollective.com/diamonds-arent-forever-joe-cole-england-liverpool-chelsea-west-ham/2011/06/

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  154. http://www.thesportcollective.com/boardwalk-empire-darts-mervyn-king-mark-webster-winmau/2011/06/

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  155. ha ha.

    That'll keep you busy.

    So you won't have any time to read the blog on the BBC about flogging Fabregas.

    ha ha ha ha ha

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  156. No jacks, you're doing it wrong, it's;

    Mwa ha ha ha.

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  157. Sorry H,I'll get some practice in.....

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  158. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhnygLQ4Ar4

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  159. Not bad, here's a good one too;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7edeOEuXdMU

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  160. ha ha.

    That'll keep you busy.

    So you won't have any time to read the blog on the BBC about flogging Fabregas.

    ----
    I finally had time to read it.. Wish I hadn't bothered, nothing but regurgatated rhethoric and speculation, adding nothing to what has been said/written a million times.

    You should ban them from talking about it, Jacks. ;)

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  161. mornin' Lads, Flogging Fabregas? pre-season flogging might be the way of the future. Will they bring back hanging too?

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  162. I'm all for that Trott, J Terry first, followed by all pundits and football agents. Commentary and anaylsis to be given by Robbie Savage and Jamie Redknapp, who afterwards wiil both be fed to a pack of hungry wolves.

    Now that's entertainment.

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  163. That was a fucking long way to drove to warsop hand made cricket bats ltd. - a shed in the middle of a posh little village, east poshingford

    Total waste of time n'all. Note to self CHECK OPENING TIMES.

    Closing the factory shop at 12 on Sat. is a clear statement you need us more than we need you. It's also why the company is still a shed.

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  164. What is like to see is a pundits a week eviscerated live on tv whilst lawro ponders the portents....

    The entrails of shearer tell me, he will say, that Newcastle will lose to braintree town in the fa cup, 17-2

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  165. Blogs, I thought you were going to a warshop to buy a gun and just made a typo..

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  166. broke my bat in my annual 20/20 cricket match, h, caught in the deep by someone in a blue jacket I thought was a spectator ....it was pissing it down a double rainbow framed the suffolk countryside just north of dedham

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  167. Damn those sneaky blue jacket wearing fielders.
    Would of never pegged you as the cricket type though. I thought you were more up to my sporty speed, i.e. a game of darts or a pie eating and beer drinking contest.

    We live and learn.

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  168. footballs where my heart is H but it hurts and I don't mean emotionally and I played in a darts league in delft vs hell angels, women who thrashed us etc. so I hope that slightly restores my credentials

    I never ever ever watch cricket BUT I really enjoy playing it. Tbh I've nearly stopped playing team sports due to Guinness crisp and pie in a tin diet (and the shock arrival of middle age, how did that happen? I'm as young handsome and athletic in my head as I ever was. fucking mirrors.)

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  169. Alright, I can't wait any longer, I have to give this a mention.

    Have you all seen a picture of speculated Arsenal target Gervinho?

    Well if you haven't may I introduce you to the biggest forehead I've ever seen.

    It's Mekanesque, in fact it's so large that even Jolean Lescott would say; "Gawd damn what a slap head".

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  170. Nice one blogs, street cred well and truly re-established. :)

    Luckily for me, I was never athletic and working in a business (Music and entertainment) where large amounts of drugs and alcohol are consumed I never needed to be handsome either.

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  171. dyou see the guy Murray played the other day, when he put a sweat band on it looked like a joke plastic egghead

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  172. phew.

    off to play tennis now with tarquin and jools, my old bumchums from eton

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  173. He did indeed, but at least he had the decency to be bald and not try to cover it up with what can only be described as a beaded curtain.
    ---
    Eton???????





































    I thought you went to Cambridge.

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  174. Holden lane gasworks comprehensive and the university of life mate

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  175. Can't imagine Arsene Wenger doing this. Although he probably needs to. Proper hairdryer treatment.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu4LNx1GAe0

    Noel

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  176. Imagine what he'd be like if they were losing.

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  177. Over on the beebs' football home page there's a piece on how Spain won the U21s EC and how the German ladies are ready for the Womans WC, but yet again no mention of the England U17's.
    Last night they took on the mighty U R Gay, who were top of the group with two wins under their belt. England, with 4 points on the board, needed a draw to insure proggression to the next stage, but took the game to the U R Gayians and notched up an impressive 2-0 win to top Group C.

    Come On Eng-er-land!!

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  178. ps.

    Don't tell me you'll never win anything with kids.

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  179. Barcelona president Sandro Rosell has cut back on catering and security guards and even told people to use black and white photocopiers rather than colour ones in a bid to reduce the club's expenditure. Full story: Observer
    ---------
    Great plan, you wanna buy the world’s best players?

    Use less ink!

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  180. Allo Allo.

    all been good, I hope.

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  181. Manchester City face the prospect of a £30m wage bill next season for the likes of Emmanuel Adebayor, Craig Bellamy, Roque Santa Cruz, Wayne Bridge, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Jo and Nedum Onuoha - who they do not want but cannot get rid of.
    ---

    trophy wife and expensive divorce and all that...

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  182. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13888169
    -----------
    I remember you guys discussing this sometime back, well I'm convinced this blog is being watched

    --BeeZee

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  183. This is where the world should be stepping in, rather than chase the earth oil resources.

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  184. You can better your bottom dollar we'd be in like a shot if they did find some black gold there Bo.

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  185. million strong army, nuclear weapons, psycho leader, i think thats one we should leave alone, bo. we'll just have to hope the kleptocrats become ashamed, admittedly that doesnt work with bankers and tories (proper privileged tories not the deluded working and lower-middle class forelock-tugging dupe type)over here; generally if people can get away with things, they do. man is a bad animal.

    i did like the way they threatened to execute their football team though when they lost 7-0 to portugal, i think they might have something there

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  186. Manchester United are confident of being able to sign Arsenal midfielder Samir Nasri, 23, for £20m.
    ---

    I'd sell.

    Sorry Jacks.

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  187. It's amazing how reliant we have become on a dwindling source. Sure they claim to have back up technologies for when the oil... if that is so why is there a need to invade countries in order to get control of it?

    You are right about the threat of execution for the football team Blog. Maybe we could grade the punishment. Only execute if they fail to qualify.. could have 3 years hard-labout for not making out of the group stage... 12 months for failing to make the semi's and 6 months community servce if they dont win the bloody thing.

    ReplyDelete
  188. although,

    dont make them do the community service in retirement homes....

    Rooney might think its a reward...

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  189. Haha Spit... I wouldn't trust many of them around kids either.

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  190. Next time they do so miserably in an international tournament, I suggest we leave them there in their england kits and take all their cash, cards, id, phones etc and make them hitch-hike/ walk back to blighty.

    Next WC is in Brazil, you say?

    Good.

    ReplyDelete