Monday, 12 September 2011

Huzzah! It's Rugger!

The rugger buggers are back, then, spreading their maxi-muscled frames across our screens like a bunch of cauliflower-eared Chippendales in nadger-nipping lycra.

Course ‘rugger bugger’ is a term we tend to aim at the chinless horse-toothed pricks who slaver into your local Pitcher & Piano in their workaday pinstripes and bray like donkeys while dropping rohipnol into each other’s pints. You can tell from a lot of what passes for banter that this is pretty much a bunch of oiks in toffs’ clothing. Thick, moneyed but not remotely vain.


'Yah he like tried to gouge out my beautiful eyes, the fucking cunt!'

‘Course that’s very much an English take on union. Your average Welshman or Kiwi sees rugby as the preserve of the working man. As indeed it is. It might also be said that of the teams that I’ve watched so far those two did the most to entertain. Having said that the All Blacks only managed it for 40 minutes – but then again that was a pretty decent 40 minutes (especially according to my missus who has decided that Dan Carter can pop it between her posts any time.)

I’m particularly impressed with Sonny Bill Williams. Not least cos he’s got over the fact that his parents obviously wanted him to be a harmonica player. His handling and ‘offloading’ (that’s knobspeak for ‘short passing’) are pretty fantastic, although any seasoned Rugby League watcher will tell you that every man is taught to fling around with that sort of dash in the 13-man code.

Wales of course did their impression of Tom Cruise at his wife’s side and came up short. Again. Defeat was followed by the habitual verbal pats on the back (‘ooh well done, Taffy old chap – good show what with you being poor and English not really being your first language, wot, wot!’) They should’ve won. They were much the better team. Hook’s kick might’ve been in (can’t they use Hawkeye? I mean it’s not like India are in the tournament is it?)

And you know what, forget Invictus – and forget how transparently pleasant Francois Pienaar is - the South Africans are still the baddies. For one, they are the holders’; for another, when they open their gobs the English language has to scurry off to a refuge home for battered vowels.

Didn’t see the Wallabies or the French – I find seven o’clock starts as agreeable as Jessie Wallace wedding day – but the most irritating bleeding aspects of the whole shebang thus far are:

1) The Scrums. Has there yet been a scrum that hasn’t had to be reset? They cave in like an elephant’s deckchair every time they engage. Play doesn’t move for ten minutes while some end-of-his-tether ref tries to get the six auditionees for Captain Caveman to just stay up long enough for the game to continue.


‘Hold! Touch! Fall On Your Faces!

Hilariously if a team finds itself unable to field a prop forward cos of injuries the scrums go uncontested. Which makes you wonder what the point of it is in the first place.

2) Running down the clock is easy. If you’re a point or two ahead with 5 minutes to go you just keep hold of the ball and flop to the floor a few dozen times and you’ve won. There’s nowt the opposition can do about it. It’s a really boring version of running the ball into the corner flag in footy. Can’t they just lose the ball if they haven’t gone forward for a couple of minutes – or summat like that?


3) The pundits. I know they’re all World Cup winners and great players in their own right but every one of ‘em looks like he’s being operated by a run-of-the-mill puppeteer. I put on my 3D glasses to watch one half-time briefing cos I was so sure I was missing at least one dimension. They make Alan Shearer look like Martin Luther King.

Oh and I might add that I hope that’s the last time we see and England rugby team wearing all black shirts. Just a shoddy, arrogant decision by a bunch of people who couldn’t give a toss about tradition. And England played like a bunch of blindfolded Sumos in it any road , so get rid.

Why so much rugby talk anyway? I hear you cry.

Well, the footy has left us with nowt to yap about. It’s business as usual in Manchester – apart from Stoke and Arsenal there’s not much about the table that’s going to change by the end of the season. And the Evertonians can protest all they like about lack of ambition and progress at the club but really all them lovely banners are saying is ‘For Chrissakes, Kenwright, you’ve been there for 7 years and you still haven’t laid your hands can on one bastard tycoon.’

'If I were you, Bill, I'd be looking at the young Iranian Ahmedinajad and failing that yer man Gadaffi must be lookin' to squirrel away a few thousand.'

I can see old Bill whoring his way around the oligarchs of the world kowtowing to anyone with a few spare dirhams like... like... well, like a Prime Minister. Or Garry Cook. Of course that chippy Manc has been relieved of his position by the FandAbuDhabi brigade. It could’ve happened to any one Garry. I’m just pleased it happened to you.

The national side may be worth a quick mention, although at the mo I’m showing as much enthusiasm for the England team as the players themselves are. I certainly don’t think that point in Montenegro is a gimme. And even Capello has finally conceded that managing this set of players has left him scratching his walnut face in utter confusion.

Poor old Rob Earnshaw (‘ooh well done, Taffy old chap – good show what with you being poor and English not really being your first language, wot, wot!’) That chance was so much easier than a sitter it was damn well prostrate.

As for who will win the Rugby World Cup – listen to the upcoming podcast!

351 comments:

  1. 2nd............keegan

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  2. 3rd.......keegan

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  3. fook me, forgot to read the blog.........keegan

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  4. why the naked bloke robbo???? only ladies, PLEASE!!!!!...........Yeah! K1

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  5. i bet in no way do you mean a degree when you say first!

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  6. A rugger blog...good lord the mayans were right. The world is ending.

    And for crying out loud.which Anon is the last post from? the twat? ntoka? colch? noel?

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  7. Not me AH. I was still sitting over on the old blog until now. Just happened to notice Robbo's twitter update as I scrolled down. Stupid game rugby. Not even worth talking about. So anyway, let's talk about football. Does anyone know anything about it?

    Colch

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  8. I know its a steaming pile of shit in ones blazer wearing chums pint of a game, colch, played by a posh hard nut freemasonry admired by women with big tits. Christ I despise them .

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  9. The last time I tuned into a game of rugby was 10 mins from the end of the wc final we won. That was good. If we get to the final again, and I couldn't give a monkeys if we Do or not, I ll probably tune in for the last 10 mins again. Unless there's any footy on.

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  10. Stop it Blog. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Oh and the occasional game of golf. But mainly Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football.

    Colch

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  11. (Chinless voices from the playing fields of Rugby)

    What's Webb Ellis doing?

    He's picked the ball up!

    He's running with the ball!

    I say! Webb Ellis has invented a new game!

    Hurry for Webb Ellis!

    (a lone proletarian has strayed onto the playing fields of Rugby) ...

    Handball you cheating cunt!

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  12. Right then Robbo we need to have words. In June and July I could accept the F1, tennis, boxing, golf and cricket blogs as there was nothing happening with football. But for god's sake man it's September the football season is back in full swing and you're serving up a blog about $*&@ing rugby. A bunch of blokes cuddling in a field for 5 minutes at a time isn't sport.
    What about Arsenal thrashing the mighty Swansea 1-0. Boro winning away. Ipswich losing 2-0 at Blackpool. Colchester holding the hugely impressive Leyton O's 1-1.
    Now hopefully that's you told.

    Colch

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  13. Rugby? $*&@ing rugby I tell ya. Next week Robbo blogs on croquet. The following week will be squash and after that there's talk of a snooker blog.

    $*&@ing rugby! $*&@ing rubbish!

    Colch

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  14. Nice blog Robbo. Although I have to take exception at the 'apart from Stoke and Arsenal there’s not much about the table that’s going to change by the end of the season' bit. If Spurs finish 13 then Star will eat a item of his clothing.

    As for rugby union, you've managed to outline above all the reasons why I can't stand the game anymore. Rugby League is the future! Played at pace, plenty of 'offloads', loads of big hits, cheerleaders in skimpy outfits, and (and this is the main point) the teams score tries. In two games last Saturday night there were 17 tries scored and a total of 1 penalty. In the England WC game played at the same time there was one try scored, and probably 17 penalties every 5 minutes. Nuff said.

    Noel

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  15. Noel said.....
    "cheerleaders in skimpy outfits, and (and this is the main point) the teams score tries".
    -------------------------------------------

    I think you'll find the main point is the cheerleaders in skimpy outfits Noel. But it's still $*&@ing rugby!

    Colch

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  16. Did anyone watch the Dispatches programme on Channel 4 tonight naming the Premier League player who failed a drugs test because he was on coke? Who was it?

    Colch

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  17. Never mind. It was former Birmingham City striker Garry O'Connor........

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2011/sep/12/fa-drugs-tests-garry-oconnor

    "The programme also discovered that between April 2007 and August 2010, 240 drugs tests had to be abandoned because testers turned up at training grounds but players were not there. The clubs involved included Manchester City, Liverpool, Fulham, Everton, Newcastle, Swansea and Crystal Palace".

    Rio Ferdinand and Man U must be livid.

    Colch

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  18. Good stuff Robbo and well said Noel, Rugby League is fanfuckintastic.

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  19. Not me either AH.

    And yeah! for a rugby blog – not only is Union a great show when played right (admittedly, England supporters wouldn't understand that last clause), but it also means Robbo isn't using up bandwidth holding forth on the greatest waste of green space this side of golf ... cricket ...

    Teehee ... **ducks and runs**

    The poster formerly known as NTOKA

    (who might change his name to "Officials? Channel your inner Fergie, KD")

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  20. Hi all! new poster and all... so Robbo am working away from home( in a country where swahili is the national language and the locals are still crap at it!) and looking forward to your blog about how Man -u are great an all ,and you blog about about rugby!!??? somethings wrong with ya i tells you.
    The clever Lad

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  21. Seeing as we're all complaining about the subject matter of this blog,I suppose it would have been nice to have a piece about Chris Froome and Bradley Wiggins making the podium in La Vuelta a Espana.

    But then I'd have been the only one to read it.

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  22. Look, there is more things to life than footy and I think I made it perfectly clear that rugby union isn't one of them. Agreed re rugby league -faster, easier to understand, and toff-free. I might mention the rugger again - as it's the World Cup - but rest assured it won't be at the forefront of my thinking

    Robbo

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  23. Morning all.

    I am involved in scrums daily at my workplace, only difference being I never get to wrestle my boss. I have to nod in agreement to whatever he says.

    And how 'bout a blog on ICC's late invite to the World Champions of Cricket...? Neverthless, kudos to the winners - Trott, Cook, Sangakarra MS Dhoni and all others who won the awards.

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  24. Personally, I'm not fussed what you put in your blogs Robbo. It's all about provoking discussion innit, which you've done.

    So, in conclusion, union - shit, league - tops.

    Noel

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  25. Rugby carries diseases - scrum pox or herpes gladiatorum - and should be banned. Not to mention congenital syphilis and gout.

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  26. Another above average week in the FFL with two H2H wins and moves up both league tables. Taken a 4 point hit for next week already as I had to make the transfers before prices rose. It's taking a while, but the team is coming together slowly.

    Noel

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  27. Well, we escaped with a draw last night, thought QPR had a very good team out lasty night SWP looked like a new player, just glad we played them before they have a chance to gel fully & up to 4th in the prem. Toon for Europe (in my dreams)

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  28. Good luck to Arsenal and Chelsea tonight. Think Arsenal have a tough game ahead of them, whereas Chelsea should be able to bore Leverkeusen into submission. I still have the Dortmund shirt from the 1997 Champions League winning season. It's good for blinding the opposition when I play 5-aside footie.

    Noel

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  29. SS don't believe the "late invite" stuff. Duncan probsably had them in for naughty boy nets, or they were sulking because SRT didn't get cricketer of the year for the 237th year running. Liked the Indian who said the England tour had been a success: beaten 3 teams (Sussex, Kent and Leics) and only lost to one (England).

    Dortmund look to have a good chance tonight (here's hoping). Chelski will get a dull win.

    One thing I like in the RWC is the attitude to refs. Player gets binned and all you see is a raised eyebrow. No surrounding the ref and bleating. Bring in a 10 minute bin instead of a yellow card in footie (with additional cards for "dissent") and see what happens.

    Jedi

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  30. Jedi
    I think our cricketers chose not to go as they have been already humiliated much on the England tour. And very few from our team had nominations for the main category this year. Still I think all are deserved winners.

    Arsenal are playing away and there's no compulsion to win every game in CL group stages. 3 home wins and 2 draws in any of the away games will still see us through to next round. Tough game, yes but no pressure on the lads. Please.

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  31. (‘ooh well done, Wenger old chap – good show what with you being poor and English not really being your first language, wot, wot!’

    -----

    Just getting in befiore Arsenal lose tonight

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  32. SS: not sure you're right about nominations. SRT was nominated for cricketer of the year, MSD for people's choice, and Gambhir for ODI cricketer, and MSD won "spirit of cricket". Plus they were staying in a hotel 10 minutes away from where the awards were. Smacks of sulking to me. Maybe they got Wenger in for media relations ("I did not see ze invitation").

    Adam, nice one. Wonder if they'll say the same about Fergie if Manyoo lose?


    Jedi

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  33. Whoa.return of the Jedi seems to have taken care of Anon Skywalker.

    Wonder how the new look Liverpool will fare in Europe today (tee hee).

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  34. Jacks

    I'd have read it, now for the Tour of Britain, did you close shop and head for Gun Hill?

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  35. AH, the Jedi have the force!

    I reckon not being in Europe may be the best thing that has happened to Liverpool (and I'm a Spurs fan). Makes them favourites for 4th in my book.

    Jedi

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  36. Jurgen Klopp does not believe Wenger's touchline ban is an advantage

    "It would be better if maybe Robin van Persie, Theo Walcott or Gervinho wouldn't be on the pitch and play"
    He's funny that guy!!!!!!!!

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  37. Hey Shitbag Anon ... Sean Duffy a friend of yours?

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  38. Arsene tonight, interview

    "i did not see .... ze match"

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  39. mornin' Lads, they still have that European football stuff then? I'll have to look into that.

    FedEx cup Blog next week please Robbo. Unless Bolton beat Norwich in which case 2,000 (extremely positive) words dedicated to the Trotters would be in order.

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  40. Robbo as were making requests how about a Port Vale blog, which would appeal to one more person than the "rugger" blog - ie moi ....

    I can see it now Real Vale...the indefatigable survival of a team whose futile 135 year pursuit of success makes wile e cayote look like a quitter... with passing reference to Plymouth argyle, as far as I know the only team named after a pub

    Lycra clad tyrant apologists and cat impersinator George has bloody ruined the word indefatigable ain't he?

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  41. I cried when I read this beautiful poem. Thought I'd share it with you all as you're all obviously sensitive types cough cough



    PIES

    John Cooper Clarke

    A home girl named Ann
    just couldn't get a man
    her mother told her darling don't you cry
    you'll knock em down like skittles
    with some farinaceous gristle
    '' you'll always get a guy with a pie''

    Butter, sugar, flour
    keeps 'em in you power
    when physical attractions run awry
    start rolling out the dough
    and he'll never let you go
    '' yes you'll always get a guy with a pie''

    When rules of engagement don't apply
    and your best meal fails to catch his eye
    bring on the custard
    and he'll be keen as mustard
    ''yes you'll always get a guy with a pie''

    When a man finds a mate
    he can gain a little weight
    yes I've been there and I can testify
    I used to be a rake
    then she began to bake
    '' you'll always get a guy with a pie''

    Guys ain't complex
    they soon get sick of sex
    yet still they've all got needs to gratify
    savoury or sweet
    a blokes gotta eat
    '' and you'll always get a guy with a pie''

    Even when they're stale
    they taste OK with ale
    at the point where hunger pangs intensify
    cold weather grub
    you can get em in the club
    '' you'll always get a guy with a pie''

    What else you gonna do
    with that left over stew
    and those cuts of meat you can't identify
    ingredients of this sort
    just taste better under short....crust
    '' you'll always get a guy
    with a an I spy with my little eye something beginning with oh aye
    you'll alway get a gut with a pie''


    sniff sniff beautiful...

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  42. Now then.

    Not a pundit in world giving Arsenal a blinking hope in hell.

    Lets see, shall we.

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  43. From the BBC live text............

    CallMeSpits on Twitter: "The Gotze kid is simply marvellous at footy. Of course I knew that. "

    Fame at last Spit

    Coch

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  44. I dont know where they got it from Colch. Didnt send it in to the beeb and dont have any of their ppl following me.

    Easily pleased, some.

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  45. Sue them for unauthorised use of your intellectual property.

    Colch

    P.S. To paraphrase Fabio Crapello, Dortmund good, Arsenal not so good.

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  46. ooo, err, my "intellectual property"?

    where did you see it, Colch? Didnt know I had any assets.

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  47. Got the live Tuesday night football text commentary up.....

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/9589835.stm

    Between 2003 and 2008 (that's the time rather than the years)

    Colch

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  48. Van Persie. Get in!

    Colch

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  49. Lovely pass by Walcott.

    As little time he has to think about it, the better his decision making.

    Perhaps Arsenal can set an own player to folow him around.

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  50. Do the players still have a cup of tea and a slice of orange at half time? Or is it all new fangled isotonic this and that with energy tablets? Or just a couple of lines of coke?

    Colch

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  51. YEEEEEEEEEEEES HA!

    Port Vale receive £5m Blue Sky International investment

    American company Blue Sky International will invest £5m into Port Vale over the next 12 months.
    Vale also said the sports construction firm are expected to commit a further £2.5m over the next five years.
    The funds will be spent on the running of the club, Vale Park, a training area and facilities for the local area.
    The League Two side's chief executive Perry Deakin told the club website: "This is a fabulous arrangement for the club and secures our long-term future."
    An additional £500,000 will be spent on pre-season tours over the next 10 years.

    ; P. Peanuts to you lot. Survival to us.

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  52. Congratulations on the cash injection blog.


    now dont go spend it all on fun and games and od summat useful with it.

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  53. Don't listen to Spit. Build a fan park with a giant bouncy castle and a ball pit. And then hire Rihanna, J Lo and Cheryl Cole to perform in cheerleading outfits before a home game.

    Colch

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  54. £5 million pounds worth of pies?

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  55. Rihanna, J Lo and Cheryl Cole jumping out of a giant pie while wearing bikinis and covered in gravy. Mmmmmmm gravy.

    Colch

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  56. Felt like once RvP, Gervinho and walcott were taken off, BvB had a bit more space and time to threaten goal.

    Ah well, could be worse. 1:1 is a fine result away from home at a defending league champions place.

    it was a fine strike too.

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  57. Disappointing result for Arsenal but only because of how it happened. I'm sure Wenger would've accepted a 1-1 draw at the start of the night.

    Colch

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  58. contrary to speculation in some news papers...


    http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/lansbury-signs-contract-extension-with-club

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  59. Nice podcast Robbo and Andy Smart . Keep them coming and will somebody please chuck some finance at it? Have a word with port vale, Derek we're loaded now....
    What's your dads golf handicap?
    Me mum...

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  60. hahaha..nice to see the cuntalonians boss the entire match, only to end up with a 2-2 draw, conceding once in the first, and once in the last minute. priceless. you do have to grant that they play a good game though.

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  61. Tottenham's Jermain Defoe believes he can forge a partnership with Emmanuel Adebayor that will improve the club's poor goalscoring record.

    Except Rafa will be fit again next week so you'll be on the bench Jermain. Unfortunately.

    blog - you Port Vale fans are all the same - only supporting the club now that they're buying their way to the league title. No one supported them when they were skint - just poor old fat Robbie Williams. He's a real supporter;)

    Noel

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  62. Blackburn fans are planning a 1,000-strong march to demand the removal of manager Steve Kean at Saturday's match against Arsenal. Full story: Daily Mirror

    a thousand? half a dozen with strong opinions should be convincing enough.

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  63. Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has compared Wayne Rooney to Brazilian legend Pele.
    =======================================================

    The old scot is fucking senile... unless his comparison only goes as far as them both having two legs and two arms... no way did Pele fuck grannies.

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  64. He probably does now, Bo.

    Noel

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  65. Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo has refused to rule out a move to big-spending Russian side Anzhi Makhachkala in the future.
    =========================================================

    Obviously wants to improve his chances of winning trophies.

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  66. BojanglesOfOz said...
    Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has compared Wayne Rooney to Brazilian legend Pele.
    The old scot is fucking senile... unless his comparison only goes as far as them both having two legs and two arms... no way did Pele fuck grannies.
    -------------------------------------

    Pele advertises viagra and Rooney uses it when he fucks prostitues (allegedly)

    Colch

    Morning all.

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  67. Are the prositutes alleged Col or he fucking them?

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  68. TrotterUSA said...
    Blackburn fans are planning a 1,000-strong march to demand the removal of manager Steve Kean at Saturday's match against Arsenal. Full story: Daily Mirror

    a thousand? half a dozen with strong opinions should be convincing enough.
    -----------------------------------

    That would send out a strong message if 50% of their fans turned out in protest.

    Colch

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  69. The prostitutes are alleged Bo. Everyone knows he fucks them. Probably.

    Colch

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  70. Latest from the Rugby World Cup: Scotland lead Georgia 9-3 at half time. What an exciting sounding match. So Scotland have kicked 3 penalties, and Georgia have kicked 1. They've played 40 minutes so that probably amounts to at least 30 penalties each. No tries. Probably no offloads. And hopefully no Georgian cheerleaders. Think of the moustaches.

    Noel

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  71. Fucking hell Noel, would you mind typing English when you come in here.

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  72. Noel said...
    Good luck to Arsenal and Chelsea tonight.
    -----------------------------------------------

    And in a similar, although slightly different vein, I'd like to say that I hope both Manchester clubs get heavily beaten tonight as well as contacting incurable doses of genital herpes, which only affects those players bought for more than 10mill, thus rendering them unable to ever play football again due to the severe chaffing in their shorts.

    Noel

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  73. How was that Bo?

    Noel

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  74. Oh my comment you mean. I recognised the English words... just the subject matter was totally foreign to me.

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  75. It was a bit like reading this Robbo blog;)

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  76. I totally concur Noel. (re Manchester clubs that is)

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  77. Your team in the AFL finals Bo? I can't remember if you're a Western Bulldogs man, or West Coast Eagles. Now THAT'S a foreign subject matter!;)

    Noel

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  78. Eagles mate... yeah I can understand that. It took me a while to come to terms with the game myself. Still only watch the Eagles... couldn't be bothered with the other games.

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  79. I tried, but couldn't get interested. To me, it looks like you just kick the ball in the direction of a teammate, but that just becomes a ruck to catch the ball with an opposing player, then you just kick it again, or run with it and occasionally bounce it. The skill set involved doesn't seem that high.

    Noel

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  80. Morning all.

    It was a great game and some good results yesterday. I was tracking both Arsenal and Barcelona games.

    Arsenal v Dortmund: I’d have taken a score draw before the match and it was a fair result as they had loads of possession and they kept on attacking. Our defense was well organized and it took a special goal to beat SZCZ. A bit disappointed with Gervinho’s performance but he will improve.

    Barcelona v AC Milan: Electric start by Milan, Pato scoring inside 1st minute of the game. Then it was the usual boring Barcelona keep possession and pass only upto 5 yards game… Messi brilliant as usual. Cesc came on as substitute and ran around before Milan’s ex-Barcelona player scored again in the last minute.

    Chelsea v Leverkusen: Watched highlights today morning and it was a routine 2-0 win at home. Blues should be glad Torres played which means he will sit out on Sunday. I was wondering where David Luiz had gone as he didn’t play the first 3 games in PL… he’s a goal scorer and I think he should be in the team instead of Bosingwa. Put Ivanovic on right and Luiz in center along with Terry. Anelka’s goal was wrongly disallowed and Juan Mata applied a cool finish in last minute.

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  81. Morning virtual pseudo- pals, heard a great rumour that vale were signing cahill and messi with the American millions. Can't remember where I heard that rumour though....

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  82. I have played the game (socially) on a couple of ocassions Noel and you are right, the skill set isn't high. As a spectacle however, there is not much to beat it in team sport, as is there few team sports around that can match it for speed. I was of much the same opinion as yourself the first few times I watched it. If you are prepared to put a bit of time into learning the rules and persist in watching a few games you start to appreciate it for what it is. Then again if you are only here for a year or two there wouldn't be much point to it really.

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  83. why do people care about games trying to improve on footy?

    there'S hardly a point, is it?

    You've already got cricket for when its sunny, football for whenever and darts for when you are inside a pub.

    what more do you want?

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  84. Like you say Bo, I'm only here for a couple more years so I'll manage to get by without following it. Although, living just north of Sydney I'm in the rugby league heartlands so AFL has next to no following round these parts. The Swans don't get much airtime on the news, and you don't see people wearing the kit or with the bumper stickers on their cars like you do with all the league teams.

    Last time I was in Melbourne I was in a pub with an AFL game on the tv. The barman asked which team I wanted to win and I made the mistake of saying that I didn't follow the game. I got treated like the sheriff from Blazing Saddles for the rest of the night. They take it a bit seriously down there!

    Noel

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  85. mornin Lads.

    And dominoes Spit, for the less athletic among us.

    Messi and Cahill, I heard that rumor too Blog.

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  86. Melbourne's the heartland Noel. You have to be careful what you say in that town.

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  87. I'm more a draugh's player Trot, too much thinking in dominoes... unless you mean the Pizza Shop.

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  88. best dominoes game we played years ago was mad doubles. Just as a loosener to a Saturday night on the town. First to turn over a double named a drink, any drink, could be a double whiskey with a shot of blue bols and dash of worcester sauce, anything whatsoever! Second one to turn over a double went to the bar and paid for it, third one to turn over a double drank it down in one or bought everybody else the same drink. Oh what fun!

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  89. (don't try this in the 21st Century, please drink responsibly)

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  90. I play the same game Trott, but with dice. 21 Aces. Go round the table rolling the dice and if you roll the 7th ace then you name the drink, 14th ace pays for it and 21st drinks it.

    Noel

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  91. cant really remember when I was really drunk the last time.

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  92. where's H? He'll know all the best bar sports!

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  93. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  94. The reason H2H hasnt been on the blog as often is finally come to light

    He's been stalked

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14913053

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  95. The best bar sport would be the 'bottoms up drink race' competition.

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  96. dont know about you guys, but I have a new second team, guess the owners' thinking behind this hiring is working...
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/14901438.stm

    --BeeZee

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  97. Those bar games are OK but they get in the way of serious drinking. Whose got time to turn over dominoes or throw dice?

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  98. Bloody hell Spit, I didn't know H2 was 62... must be the alcohol that keeps him so well preserved.

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  99. BeeZee, wouldn't fancy waking up next to her in the morning when the makeup is off... then again you could always wear a sleeping mask to bed.

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  100. the key is to slip out quietly in the night Bo, ignorance being bliss and all that

    --BeeZee

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  101. I swear that lass was working in the BadaBing last week.

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  102. Robbo is a failed Ricky Gervais

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  103. Beats being a loser with nothing better to do than constantly visit a blog written by a guy he despises and read by people he dislikes .

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  104. Afternoon chaps.

    I am not 62, although my liver probably feels likes it's around 105.

    I don't allow drinking games in which the competitors mix up silly drinks, due to the high chance of puking that I usually have to clean up, fuck that.

    Ofcourse we play games, darts pool, dice, cards, where there are drinks involved, but it's usually on a "buy a round" basis, so that everyone stays on their own drink.

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  105. Colch said...
    The prostitutes are alleged Bo. Everyone knows he fucks them. Probably.
    ====

    Don't you mean; the prostitutes are all aged?

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  106. Trott it must be a true rumour if we both heard it. As opposed to true.

    Speaking of drinking me and 8 firemen have hired a boat on the Norfolk broads this week end. I'm shitting myself. It's going to be like a Viking funeral.

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  107. I loved your poem Blogs, brought a tear to my pie.

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  108. Not mine H, jon. Cooper Clarke of sugar puffs advert fame ... aw honey monster, ill never play the violin again!

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  109. And congrats on the super cash injection.

    Maybe you can get Adebayor on loan, when the love runs out at Spurs.

    Don't worry, Citeh will pay most of his fee so you should be able to enjoy his company for at least a few weeks.

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  110. I also like the romantic classics I wandered lonely as a pie, and who could forget Shalt I compare thee to a *custard pie*?

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  111. Thanks H I think we should just leave it in the bank and dream, meself. As soon as they spend it they'll wish they'd spent it on something else.

    It would just about buy adebeyors left leg or messis 3rd testacle. He's exceptionally gifted that guy.

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  112. Honey Monster wrote a poem? Cool.

    Every time I hear of the Norfolk broads, I think of a bunch of gals from a 1950's film.

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  113. The American classic;

    Catcher in the pie.

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  114. And the same story from the perspective of Claudius' cook...

    Pie? Claudius

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  115. All this talk of pie (and a mention of darts) just doesn't seem right without RBA.

    =====

    As for the money Blogs, it will do you no good sitting in the bank, it needs to be invested. Look at Arsenal, all the money from all those players sold don't mean shit if the money is not put to good use.

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  116. Indeed, I've often gone back to see if there was any signs of life, but alas nothing sice March. *sighs*

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  117. Liverpool are investigating striker Nathan Eccleston for comments on Twitter that suggested the 11 September attacks were not the work of terrorists.

    A tweet that has since been taken down said: "I ain't going to say attack don't let the media make u believe that was terrorist that did it. #OTIS."

    OTIS reportedly stands for Only the Illuminati Succeed.
    -------------------------------------------

    Isnt Ecclestone english? Is that the best he could do (despite the 140 word limit or whatever)? You need to read it thrice to get the full comport of the message.

    OTIS should expand to only the idiots stand.

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  118. Why is he under investigation. There is such a thing as free speech. Maybe it is because he represents a danger to English Lit students.

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  119. His response after his first 'tweet' caused some reaction was pure Hemmingway too: 'Some things get took way out of context....'

    Well I didn't quite get the results I was after tonight with the Manc clubs, but a couple of come from behind draws will do. Fergie rolled out his tried and tested bore-draw team - whenever you see Park, Fletcher and Carrick in the team you know it ain't going to be good. Berbatov overlooked again. I feel for that bloke. Such a talent.

    So I guess we'll just have to wait for the morning papers to see if my genital herpes wish came true.

    Noel

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  120. I wouldn't have expected you to sympathise with Berbatov Noel, after the way he treated Spurs. For mine the prick is getting what he deserves... it's what you guys should have forced him to do, sit on the bench week-in, week-out.

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  121. He was a great player for us Bo. But then Fergie came along and turned his head, like he has done hundreds of times before. After that, he didn't want to be there and began sulking and throwing tantrums on the pitch. But he gave us two very good seasons, turned us a nice profit, and I just think a player of that quality shouldn't be wasted on Fergie's bench just because he doesn't want another club to have him. When you fall behind Danny fucking Welbeck in the pecking order, you must wander what you're doing wrong. Top scorer last season for them. Carling Cup reserve team this season.

    Noel

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  122. I don't question his abilities Noel but he is a unproffesional little prick for mine.

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  123. Yeah, no doubt Bo. But unfortunantly it's becoming more and more common for players to act like him if they don't get what they want.

    Anyhow, I'd best get to uni for 9 hours of maths, physics and electrical circuit theory. The weekend starts tonight for me though - get Friday's off, so it's not all bad.

    Noel

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  124. Another good blog from Tim Vickery

    http://theworldgame.sbs.com.au/tim-vickery/blog/1072222/A-tale-of-two-stadiums

    Obviously by I am unable to attend any football matches over there so I cant comment from my own experience but from what I hear and read it would seem that the reduction in atmosphere at some English grounds can be partly attributed to the changing class of "constomers" that are attending these games. And the mere fact that they are treated as customers rather than fans speaks volumes in itself.

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  125. Your weather forecast for next week hasn't disappointed me. Cloudy with the chance of showers and some rain. I have taken a couple of pictures of our sky so I don't forget what blue looks like.

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  126. They just like to cover all the bases Bo,the standard weather report goes something like..."It'll be dry with a chance of rain in some places,warm but with a possibility of some cold snaps."

    during the winter,they tend to add..."With the chance of some snow showers as well."

    Tony,I was tempted to go and have a look at the Tour of Britain,especially as it went through where we live (Cheadle),I was even offered VIP access for the hospitality suite in Hanley (a tent with free beer) but alas work gets in the way.

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  127. So the met is the same there as here Jack... minus the reference to snow that is.

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  128. During winter here it's easy to pick out English tourist, they walk around in shorts and t-shirts or singlets.

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  129. Any chance for the poms to get sun burn Bo.

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  130. That's another give away Jack... anyone looking like a boiled lobster at any time of the year is most likely an English tourist

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  131. Just found this amazing parking system

    http://www.woehr.de/de/projekte/madrid_m710/index.htm

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  132. AnfieldHopeful said...
    Liverpool are investigating striker Nathan Eccleston for comments on Twitter that suggested the 11 September attacks were not the work of terrorists.

    A tweet that has since been taken down said: "I ain't going to say attack don't let the media make u believe that was terrorist that did it. #OTIS."

    OTIS reportedly stands for Only the Illuminati Succeed.

    ---------------------

    Yet another thickie footballer - as bad as Terry, Gudjonsen etc at their heathrow airport incident the day after 9/11

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  133. Adam,have you been reading Dan Brown novels?You know it's all bollocks.

    More important is the news that Sarah Palin has allegedly been a coke sniffer and cheated on her hubby.

    Always the Republican way.

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  134. thanks for that parking link SS. cant imagine it being replicated here in Africa though...park a ramshackle 1959 Vw beetle and go homewith with a shiny audi Q7 just coz some fella punched in some wrong codes.
    thecleverlad

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  135. Adam , arent all footballers thickies??? I guess you cant have everything in life..... money ,women ,great career....brains.

    thecleverlad

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  136. I do not see what the big deal is. Surely you are allowed to make a negative comment about 9/11 (what is special about 9th of November anyway) without being under investigation for it.

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  137. Are Arsenal in Queenstown?

    Explosive headlines in the English press this morning alleged Tindall, who recently married The Queen's granddaughter, Zara Phillips, was acting inappropriately while drinking in a Queenstown bar where a "dwarf-throwing contest" was the primary entertainment....

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  138. Are you sure that wasn't Queensland Blog. They hold dwarf throwing contests up that part of the country.

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  139. I would imagine eating a whole dwarf would lead to a lot of dwarf throwing (up)

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  140. its worse if you mix your dwarfs jacks.

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  141. Had a bad night mixing my dwarfs and midgets.

    Mrs Jack said I should stick to beer,but I had to go drinking shorts as well.

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  142. Should leave the shorts alone Jack, I find the buttons get caught in my throat.

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  143. http://www.eligr.com/2010/08/why-never-to-ask-favors-from-the-graphic-designers/

    This made me smile.

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  144. she should have checked the bins outside her home first

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  145. that's well funny Jacks - the designer is a right ass though

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  146. I have to say I'm with the designer Adam.He did point out he had a lot of paid work to be finished ASAP.

    Plus I don't like cats (despite,or maybe even because,we have 2 of the little shits)

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  147. That is mighty funny. Could help laughing out loud in the workplace. Pulitzer Prize for the designer please.

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  148. Couldn't*, even.
    -----------------
    BojanglesOfOz said...
    I do not see what the big deal is. Surely you are allowed to make a negative comment about 9/11 (what is special about 9th of November anyway) without being under investigation for it.
    -------
    Bo, they are investigating to see if the Illumanati can do something about Carroll's form (or lack thereof).
    And if I may say so myself, the 11th of November is very specially, what with it being my father's b'day and all.

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  149. aarg..why cant all countries follow the same format for dates..i meant the 9th of November of courses. Unless my dad's not really my dad, and my real dad was born on the 11th of november.

    Yes, I am bored at work.
    ------------------
    Welcome cleverlad. whereabouts in africa ? do you have a particular team you support ?

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  150. Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo says he regularly has a hostile reception from opposition fans because he is "rich, handsome and a great player".

    No cris, its because you're a cunt.

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  151. I found that shocking as well blog...footy fans disliking ronaldo? unbelievable stuff, isnt it?

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  152. I know mate. He's horrible. Some player tho.

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  153. Let's not forget, he's also rich..... and handsome.

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  154. Unlike Nando, who's rich.....and pretty. And well loved. Oh wait.

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  155. Blackburn Rovers owners want fans to support Steve Kean

    The owners of Blackburn Rovers have called for fans to support the team ahead of a planned protest march to demand manager Steve Kean be sacked.

    ===
    Is it because they are too chicken to fire him?

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  156. Gerrard said earlier in September: My groin is as strong as it's ever been.My groin scores now are better than before I even started feeling my groin."
    ========================================
    Seriously SG, there is such a thing as too much information. Surely, we dont need to know about you feeling yourself.

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  157. If those emails were real Jack, that designer has a great sense of humour.

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  158. Stoke, Fulham & Tottenham draw in the Europa league while Celtic & Birmingham are beaten. So the three Premiership teams get a point while the two Championship teams get zilch... hardly surprising.

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  159. The Welshman is now the only player to have scored in 16 seasons of the Champions League.
    =========================================================

    What bullshit is this. They trying to tell me that the only games in the Champions League that haven't finish 0-0 are the games that Giggs has scored in.

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  160. Hundreds of thousands dying (and no they are not changing the colour of their clothing) in the Somalia famine
    Hundreds of thousands die and still dying in Africa from AIDS
    More than 230,000 killed in Indian Ocean Sunami in 2004
    Over 50,000 dead after 2008 earthquake in China.
    More than 212,000 dead after 2005 earthquake in Indonesia
    Almost 30,00 dead in 2004 earthquake in Southern Iran
    30,000 dead in 2001 earthquake in Western India
    Lets not forget the hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians that have died from bombing raids in Iraq

    So on the scale of world disasters 11th of September 2001 does not exactly rank up there but that is the one the world remembers. Why?

    Sure I am not a lover of the American government but this isn't just about America and its government. I fully understand the need for the American people to mourn the loss of lives that occured on 11th September. I am trying to make sense of the reasoning behind the rest of the world needing to mourn to the extent that it has done, while the anniversary of these other events pass without a mention. It is probably just coincidental that the world disasters listed above only relate to black, brown or yellow bastards, while the tragedy of the twin towers killed mainly white civiliians, so I don't think it is a racial thing. All I can think of is that with the US being the leader of the free world, the rest of the free world feels the need to pay homage to it and the recent world circus was a way of doing so.

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  161. I think it's widely remembered Bo, for two reasons...it was a terrorist act and there were citizens of 80 different countries killed.

    New Yorkers and other locals remember it acutely because besides their loved ones and neighbours, 400 firemen gave their lives as they attempted to rescue others, the fact that the whole thing was broadcast live on TV probably makes the memories more accute.

    Ranking disasters, acts of war, acts of terrorism is a tough and pointless task. Where do we rank the holocaust on the list? Pearl Harbor? Hiroshima? The potato famine? The Great Fire of London? The Black Plague?

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  162. Read some comedian talking about the terror attacks a few years back. He was also asking why the Yanks call it 9/11 which to the Brits is of course the 9th November. He said by attacking London on the 7th July (7/7), Al Quaeda had missed an oppportunity to divide the Yanks and Brits on the one thing they can't agree on - date convention.

    Like you say Trott, I think the fact it was broadcast live meant it affected people more. Similarly, I think people have only started demonstrating against wars since Vietnam, with the advent of tv news reports showing images which people at home can't stomach.

    The thing that still gets me 10 years after the event is the pictures of the crowds all running from the burning, collapsing buildings, and the firemen all walking the opposite direction into buildings which they must have known were going to collapse on top of them. Bravery on a scale I can't imagine.

    Noel

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  163. Great link that Jacks. Had me in stitches. I showed the missus and she was just concerned about the cat.

    Noel

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  164. You are right Trot, about ranking disasters being pointless that is. I only used them to put in perspective the numbers involved. I don't hold with it being remembered because of the different nationalities involved though. I wonder whether the world would still hold a rememberance day had the same type of attack taken place in Madrid, for example... I guess we'll never know.

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  165. After 9/11 the air of invincibility was shattered and its citizens were going to live with the combination of this hurt and fear and anger for decades to come.

    America was never going to be the same as before and they have made sure the rest of the world wont be either.

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  166. Good morning to you Spit. How is the fatherland this morning?

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  167. Spain international midfielder Cesc Fabregas has revealed he left Arsenal for Barcelona this summer because he cannot see the Gunners winning the Premier League in the next few years.
    ========================================================

    Fair enough too. I can't either.

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  168. The fatherland is OK I guess. Its started to get a bit chilly in the morning. Enjoying the last sunny days before the winter gloom.

    I actually dont mind the winter THAT much. Measn there's lots of footy to look forward to.

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  169. Bo, the comments attributed to fabregas.

    Not that it means the statement doesnt hold weight, just that he's forcefully denied ever having said anything like that to anyone.

    the newspapers, including the independent, are still running with it.

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  170. I read the same thing later Spit. But I couldn't be bothered retracting my comment.

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  171. Thats the spirit Bo. Ever considered working in the news medja?

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  172. I did not long after I arrived in this country Spit but I was just a kid and was way to honest for such an occupation at the time.... naivity wasn't a problem though, in fact it was considered an asset.

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  173. I dont know about the remembrance day Bo, but it would certainly provide an excuse for His Gellness to come out and say that the attack on Madrid was because Al-Qaeda is jealous of his good looks, wealth and footy prowess...

    --BeeZee

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  174. Good funny link Jacks

    I'm on the side of the designer

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  175. A young man was buying some condoms. The cashier asked him: "Would you like a bag with those?" He replies: "Nah, she's not that ugly..."

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  176. Everton midfielder Marouane Fellaini could be set to follow Mikel Arteta to Arsenal in January after Toffees' boss David Moyes admitted he could be forced to sell.

    ---

    I admire Fellaini. Would love to see him in an arsenal shirt

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  177. Former Chelsea defender Frank Leboeuf thinks £50m striker Fernando Torres is not the star player Blues owner Roman Abramovich thought he was buying from Liverpool.
    ---

    did he bid for Ngog instead?

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  178. Wigan players have been reportedly left unable to train after thieves stole four sacks containing 48 footballs from their training ground.
    ---

    they've got some balls...

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  179. Everything about 9/11 was designed to stick in the memory Bo, aeroplanes flying over a city, any city, don't look the same since.

    Trouble for the terrorists is that all the world will remember is how America kicked their arse and built an even bigger tower on the spot.

    One death is a tragedy, numbers don't come into it.

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  180. I guess it was a "where were you when" event.
    I got a call from a friend in Canada within minutes, from then on everybody in the office were glued to internet feeds

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  181. "English football 'must reform finances and governance"

    thats stating the bloody obvious

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-14931982

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  182. there is a problem with the recommendations tone.

    they are expected to be implemented by the FA.

    Fuck All is whats going to get done.

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  183. Spit, we both know where there is a better system!!!

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  184. Blog

    Criticism of the POPE?
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/14946080.stm

    3rd v 4th
    6th v 2nd
    in the top div4(2)

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  185. yes tone, being able to see it done better is what makes it even more painful to see our own struggle through, barely able to survive.

    btw, I am over to watch VfB vs. HSV next Friday.
    Looking forward to it.

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  186. Wigan players have been reportedly left unable to train after thieves stole four sacks containing 48 footballs from their training ground.
    =======================================================

    The local kids will probably make better use of them than the Wigan players.

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  187. The next blog from Robbo (the lazy sod) should see me posting from your own fair shores... if I can find the time to get on the Internet. I have to say after 52 years I am looking forward to revisiting the old haunts.

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  188. Defintely home win, HSV playing scheiss

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