Monday, 24 October 2011

Theatre of Dirhams

In ten years time, in the North Didsbury Sunshine Home for the Bewildered, a tottering Arsene Wenger will nudge his zimmer frame over to the grumpy bastard in the armchair.

“You’re Alex Ferguson”, he will say.

“Yes. And you’re Arsene Wenger!”

“Mais oui!”


“Aye” says the purple Scot, “I remember names – I just cannae remember how tae defend!”

After Arsenal’s 8-2 mauling at Old Trafford, you’d have been forgiven for thinking that the Premier League’s arse-spanking event of the year had been seen and done. There was something about City’s demolition derby victory that may even have left United botties rawer still.

First of all, Fergie managed to suggest his team had met all the big sides in the League last weekend. City were absent from the list. He’s the master of the tactical omission. Secondly, there’s that ‘noisy neighbours’ tag – which is Fergie’s bit of football snobbery, as if Citeh are some chav family with nothing more than a Euromillions win to go with their string of ASBOs. Well they’re not so much noisy now as so downright ear-splitting it makes your hairdryer sound like little more than a housefly’s fart.

From Cornwall to Kuala Lumpur, there’ll be wanting answers from Fergie. Citeh, five points clear and with a squad with more depth than the Marianas Trench, look pretty unbeatable. There is still one ugly blot on the Eastlands landscape but the greedy little Argie will be whisked off to a new address in January – I hear it’s called Joorabchian’s Cut – and Mancini’s grip will have tightened considerably.

And it’s Roberto who’s looking like the bee’s knees at the mo. I thought Citeh would lose patience with the bloke, assuming as I did that billionaires have attention span of a three-year-old toddler. But then not all billionaires are Russian oligarchs. Mancini’s had 100 games in charge now and finally the stroppy buggers are being weeded out and a team is emerging.

Of course Balotelli, possibly forced into service by the couch potato-faced Carlos, has been a revelation. He’s managed to combine exquisite finishing with tremendous eccentricity. Ken Loach is currently making a film called Looking for Mario, in which a United fan gets kept awake day and night by a bloke playing Italian hiphop and setting off fireworks in his bathroom.

Who said Balotelli was a bit of a cock?

That T-shirt with the slogan ‘Why Always Me?’ showed a fine line in self-awareness. I know the lad’s got a couple of rashers short of the full English but I’m starting to like the lad.

Whether this is a changing of guard in Manchester remains to be seen, say all but the most reckless of pundits. Me, I know it is. Sure, Ferguson has this magic touch, can turn average Englishness into a force to be reckoned with, but frankly he doesn’t have anything like the same weapons at his disposal. Citeh’s tanks rolled into the Theatre of Dreams and United had nowt but cotton-buds with which to protect themselves.

At times Ferdinand appeared to wave them through with grim-faced resignation like a bystander at Royal Wootton Basset.

Fergie can compete against naked wealth when it’s a band of self-interested mercenaries – not that I’m suggesting that United are poor; compared to Shane McGowan, Shaun Ryder is coherent. But if that wealth is organised into a team culture by a suave greying Mediterranean smoothie with a potty streak then Fergie has to stand aside and let that money talk, be it in roubles or dirhams.

Chelsea have yet to recover the pomp of the Mourinho years. I think the phrase is ‘in transition’. Which is football-speak for ‘some good young-uns, some good old-uns who are getting past it and some rich middle-uns who don’t quite know what they’re supposed to be doing yet.’

The defeat at QPR led to Villas-Boas’s first resort to ref-bashing. Unfairly, I reckon. The red cards were right. The penalty was right. Drogba looked like he was jumping into a puddle rather than Adel Taarabt. (Even so, I can imagine a bit of Neil Warnock wishing that he could attack Adel in the same way. Tarrabt makes Mario Balotelli look like he’s walked out of an ashram.

Rangers spent the second half doing their best All Black impression and choking like a thirteen-year-old after his first toke but in the end Anelka and co couldn’t get back into it. And Chelsea sit six points behind this season’s Premier League Champions. Or do I mean leaders? No I mean Champions.

Citeh’ll still struggle in Europe but that’ll only strengthen their hold in England.

Meanwhile the rest of the North-West are looking a bit grim. Well Wigan, Bolton and Blackburn always look a bit grim but so do their football clubs now. (Yep, I know, this coming from a citizen of Middlesbrough – but I think that qualifies me to pass judgement).

Blackburn fans seem to be the readiest to roast their manager. Not quite sure why the chicken-vendors are hesitating. Kean looks oven-ready. Not that his team have played that bad, they just haven’t had the luck. Not that Blackburn fans will forgive the manager or owners.

Steve Kean prowls the touchline.

It’s a footballing paradox that you could almost hear rolling out of the slightly slurred lips of Alan Hansen: ‘In football, luck doesn’t change by accident’.

And whichever way you look at it, you’ve got to sell a lot of flaming chickens before you can start competing against the oil and gas magnates of this world.

A final word on the Rugby World Cup. Thank God that’s over. Were it not for the romance of a nation plagued by adversity claiming the trophy it would go down as one of the grimmest tournaments in living memory.

The final was one for the connoisseurs I’m told. Which basically means it was like a food flight in an abattoir. There are better ways to spend a Sunday and Man City and QPR proved that later in the day. Football is quite simply a much much better game.

206 comments:

  1. Re write for this one after Sunday Robbo?

    Changed much from what you'd planned to blog.

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  2. Breaking News: Fergie demands a recount.

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  3. Haha, now since you predicted Citeh will win this season; there's a very good chance Chelsea will go and nick it in the end.

    Good blog Robbo.

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  4. I doubt our Derek plans these far ahead jacks a weeks a long time in er er and voodoomeister fergies mind games have kept the zombie corpse titubating from success to undeserved success for long enough ... now Mancini has eaten its brain (is that how you kill a zombie?)

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  5. The main reason why football wins:
    With two minutes to go and not a lot in it in the rugby, it was all over, however, at Loftus Road under the same circumstances, everything was still to play for, which made it a pulsating watch. And I'm a QPR fan saying that. Great post btw.

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  6. Good stuff Robbo, as always. Citeh fans here still on cloud nine, Manyoo switchboard number now changed to 0 1-6 1-6 1-6 1-6 1-6. The league isn't over by any means, but City have made a statement.

    (Good) surprise of the season so far: Newcastle actually playing as a team. Goes against all tradition in that part of the world.
    (Bad) surprise of the season so far: Bolton.

    As far as Spurs are concerned, another away win, and seem to have recovered pretty well from their mauling by the Manchester clubs. 4th might be possible (top 3 already taken).

    Villas Boas seems to have adopted an old Chelsea plan. If you lose, blame the ref. I have a theory that Villas Boas' appointment was a mistake. Roman's football chief overhead him discussing his holiday plans ("Get me Villas, Boats"), and made a schoolboy error.


    Jedi

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  7. I can picture the scenes now ... manure players, rooney apart, looking at their reflections in the mirror and thinking ... he's been lying to me ...I'm average/past it

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  8. Villas boas looked like a youthful supply teacher sucking up to the naughty kids when he consoled drogba as he left the field for his puddle jump. He should have called him a tit and kicked his arse up the tunnel for costing them 3 points, made me wonder who was in charge there, but always hard to tell ain't it

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  9. Robbo (I know you don't read these comments, I can't say I blame you) you've seemed a bit guilty ever since you did that rugby blog... don't worry mate, its ok, you're forgiven, we all make mistakes, its your blog, you don't get paid, who am I to criticise, just don't do it again

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  10. Luke,
    I would hardly call the game at Loftus Road entertaining. QPR were just throwing their bodies at everything.

    I think the game at Molineux on Saturday is what makes football a winner - Swansea playing away from home are 2 up and Wolves pull 2 back in last 5 minutes.

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  11. SS Mate...i had enrique as my capt as well..didnt matter to me as I did not have RvP or anyone else in the team who could have changed the spanking i received courtesy of Spits and Bo. Spits and I are 1-1 now in terms sof H2H meetings, and hopefully I get even with Bo as well.

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  12. AH, I hope your good form continues for one more week :P

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  13. Right now, Mario Balotelli is in Manchester city centre driving around his convertible bentley, giving Hi 5s to ManCity fans...

    what a heartache must the sight be for United supporters to hear about it over social media...

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  14. Blog... from the last blog; I could never feel sorry for Mark Hughes, the long streak of misery is a moaning welsh prick and deserves all he gets... and "rooney apart"... he might be above average playing for Un**ed but on the world stage he is very average.

    AH... I have returned to take control of my team, so you should have no problems exacting revenge now... If I had any sense I would leave them alone for the rest of the season.

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  15. As far as the Chelsea game goes... I have to disagree with you Robbo... the Drogba sending off was fair enough but I didn't think Boswinger even deserved a yellow. I didn't think the penalty should have been given either. If you give that penalty, you would be giving 2-3 penalties a game. Once the ref gave the penalty he should have given Chelsea a penalty in the second half for pretty much the same infringement. The ref was handing out yellows like they were business cards at a convention... I think every Chelsea player apart from Cech and the two sent off had a yellow and I didn't think it was a particularly spiteful game. I thought Chris Foy had a poor game as did his assistants.

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  16. Bo I agree about Hughes, didn't the prat also write off man city ?

    Personally I didn't get to watch the Manc derby but I caught the highlights on the 6-1 news

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  17. Picture the Man U bench, adorned with the stars of yesteryear...

    Alex Ferguson: "Michael, get your tracksuit off"
    Michael Owen: "Am I going on to save the day, boss?"
    Alex Ferguson: "No son... Hernandez is getting cold."

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  18. mornin' Lads, great stuff Robbo,I can hear it already, end of May headlines "Fergie's Greatest Title Ever" and a small corner of the page dedicated to Bolton just missing out on a Champs League spot.

    In '61 a bloke with the initials RM hit 61 home runs for the Yankees. This broke Babe Ruth's single season record. Just thought I'd mention it.

    Come on Ye Bears.

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  19. How can anybody respect a bloke that signs Roque Santa Cruz twice?

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  20. Evening trott

    In 1661 Oliver cromwell was dug up and posthumously executed by a soldier named....wait for it...Robert

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  21. SS, it is going to take a staggering leap in form to get past either you or Adam this week. I must be the only manager in the FFL to have 2 players end with negative scores (Bosingwa -2 and Phil Jones -1, in case you were wondering). And Jones let in 4 goals in the 25 mins he played. Poor bastard.

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  22. After the match SAF ordered for a new hair dryer from famous TV show Telebrands costing him £16

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  23. Trott, things are never that bad that you have to bring up old records from that glorified rounders game on a football site.

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  24. He did Blog... he's your stereotypical footballer, he's brains are in his arse which is also what he speaks out of

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  25. Eriksson sacked as Leicester manager. It took Leicester far less time to conclude that he is not a manager's arsehole than it took England

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  26. As if the hammers didn't have enough problems (their owner's for one), they have Almunia between the sticks for fucks sake.... Arsenal must hate west ham.

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  27. AH - I had the same two players earning me minus points. A staggering loss of form in recent weeks for my squad. Slowly getting the changes made, but that wildcard is looking more and more necessary. Now Bosingwa will be suspended for a game or two, Shane Long is out for 6 weeks, and Adebayor hasn't scored a goal since I put him in my team.

    Re Mark Hughes - he's a cunt. He's got that Fergie smugness but doesn't have the ability to back it up.

    Noel

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  28. SS - fergies needs more than a new hairdrier, new curling tongues or shine on you baldy diamond hair transplant to motivate his team-he'll need a pit and a bloody pendulum now. Nevermore!

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  29. I disagree with the chelsea comment
    Foy was obviously mad his team had lost to city and he would be damned if chelsea went abve utd
    heck,even warnock said the lampard push was a peno and if foy could give the 1st one,what stopped him from giving the second one and actually,not bitter bout the cards cos with 9 men we walked all over qpr but missed the damn net

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  30. Mario Balotelli becomes Manchester's ambassador for fireworks safety
    ....
    And in further developments Terry gets job as Relate councellor, * enter footballers name here* joins MENSA and Mourinho enters Trappist monastery...

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  31. RBA will be pleased, Aldershot have drawn Un**ed in the cup that fans only acknowledge after winning it. Wish ya luck mat

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  32. You know what surprises me Blog... I cannot think of a solitary footbaler's name to insert there.

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  33. I can think of one Bo, though not english. A certain Socrates comes to mind...

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  34. and as far as the Chelsea game goes, I do agree with Bo but I can tbe too hard on Robbo since he has to go along aith his old mate Chris Charles.

    Chris Charles also vital in setting up this blog for Robbo, I think, therefore I wouldnt be much surprised if he changed the blog after robbo had asked him to put it up.

    We are all biased after all we are all football fans.

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  35. Shots in the big news world.. RBA would be smiling.

    Well i hope he's smiling anyway.

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  36. Carling Cup tonight. But not being televised anywhere methinks.

    Good luck to RBA's team and as he says "Up the Shots!!!"

    And a young Arsenal team playing Bolton. Good luck to Chambo & Park and company.

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  37. John Terry was forced to apologise to hundreds of fans - after they believed he was due to open a pet shop. The Chelsea and England captain had been expected to attend the opening of Reptile Kingdom on Ewell Road. Owner Terrence Clark said he had organised Terry's appearance through a mutual friend, but the defender insists that was not the case and therefore did not appear.
    ---

    how did they notice one slimy creature was missing...?

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  38. Czech police were forced to breathalyse a referee after he sent off three players for no apparent reason and spent a lot of his time on the floor. Tomas Fidra, who reportedly "smelt like a brewery", had been celebrating his birthday before the game between Jestrabi Lhota and Tynec-nad-Labem, which ended 1-1. In the end, the match was annulled by the regional football authority on the basis of fair play.
    ---

    I suggest we do the same in England. test them for alcohol or drug abuse, test their sight and hearing etc etc. most of all, give them a telly for fucks sake so they CAN WATCH AND DECIDE BETTER...

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  39. Looks like you're going to get your very own Grand Prix over there in Noo Joisey, Trotts. I went to the British Grand Prix back in 1995. I reached down into my bag for another can of Carling Black Label and when I lifted my head again, the Touring Cars were going round. I'd managed to have a quick power nap and missed the end of the F1 race. That's how interesting it was for me.

    Well, I've bitten the bullet and splashed out with my wildcard over in the FFL. Hopefully it'll arrest the dramatic slide my team is experiencing, but probably not. I'll let you know how it goes, Bo, and then I'll advise whether or not you should use yours.

    Noel

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  40. Since Ive already used my wildcard to no avail, can I request SS and Adam to have 6 shots of tequila and then tinker with their teams prior to this weekend.

    Happy Diwali to you and yours SS...have a blast in all manners except literally. Is this the festival you guys have that white (milky?) alcoholic beverage? tried a glass in Pune once and only realized i was drunk about 4 hrs later.

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  41. Thanks AH.

    white (milky?) alcoholic beverage? - That's Holi (festival of colors)

    Tomorrow is Diwali (festival of lights)which is similar to your Christmas. Diwali is meant to eat a lot of sweet dishes, burst fire crackers (not the Balotelli way), light lanterns etc. and playing cards.

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  42. First ever Indian Grand Prix and Chelsea v Arsenal clash for the Diwali weekend.

    F1's become boring these days because of lot of technicalities. Little over taking and more of strategy... hope the new Buddha Indian circuit provides some entertainment.

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  43. they have seriously not named the race track, the "Budha Indian Circuit" have they?

    coz nohting says Budha more than a bunch of millionares burning thousands of litres of fuel, tonnes of rubber bathing in chamagne afterwards...

    loverly.

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  44. Haha very true. The circuit has been designed in locality which is named after Gautam Buddha. Hence the name. It has alias name Jaypee circuit to reference the owners of the project thats JayPee group.

    I think we Indians like to show our cultural diversity and history in everything we do. All roads, airports, stadiums and what not will be named after a freedom fighter or some religious saint or a famous sportsperson.

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  45. SS said...
    All roads, airports, stadiums and what not will be named after ...some religious saint or a famous sportsperson.
    ==========================================
    So you have a couple of Stevie Avenues and Gerrard Streets then :)

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  46. Unfortunately not AH. The legacy that British left behind, they have all been renamed after famous Indians.

    For e.g. Victoria Terminus railway station is now Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus. And there must be more than a dozen Mahatma Gandhi roads in every state of the country.

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  47. mornin' Lads, yep saw that Noel. A Grand Prix in Noo Joisey eh, who gives a toss, although those umbrella girls would be welcome to sleep on the sofa.

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  48. Looking for a win this evening Trott?.... good luck mate

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  49. Good Morning all(sorry afternoon)from downtown Kissimmee

    weird, I can log on my notebook in US but not in D-land

    SS
    Sorry to get in the way of the army of Gunners at the top of the h2h, I'm not sure how with a low point score,esp as in Jacks h2h I'm at the other end

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  50. Bonjour mon amis.

    Let's all laugh at UTd, ha ha hardy ha har.

    Losing 1-6 at home sucks, but losing 1-6 at home to your neighbours sucks big fat elephant balls.

    It was bound to happen sooner or later, a power shift was long overdue, shame that it's been bought rather then earned. Citeh are going to be a major force for the forseeable future, although I'm not that impressed with Mancini, he gets a lot wrong and his faults have been highlighted in the CL. With the squad he has available to him and the money that has been thrown around it would be a crime if he wasn't at the top of the league.

    I agree they're looking good, but let's not hand them the title just yet shall we. Citeh are famous for shooting themselves in the foot and they still have more then enough "marksmen" in their squad to let fly with both barrels.

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  51. Tone, I kinda got the same thing.

    In the leagues I don't do so well, but in the HtoH's I fair a lot better.

    This week Adam (for the second week running) and Noel fell foul to the boys from H2HFC.

    Now that I think about if I changed my clubs' name to LeagueFC, then maybe I'd fair better.

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  52. Fergie's gone apeshit on the team the got fucked at home by city. All of them left back with only De Dea there to be there as the sub keeper.

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  53. None of the gunners who started against Stoke are on the field either. True beer cup style.

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  54. am i being inept or is there no link to a stream to watch the arsenal game?

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  55. There's nothing mate, it's like going back in time.

    You can listen here;

    http://www.ustream.tv/channel/vmpqshgh

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  56. I can only find radio streams Spit

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  57. Did you see that goal from Bolton?


    Me neither.

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  58. I almost missed the equalizer, but by a miracle of modern technology I can bring you Park's strike;

    http://cfile214.uf.daum.net/image/171FA13B4EA7153D0BE33C

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  59. Hold up, here's Arsh's:

    http://cfile207.uf.daum.net/image/1971FD374EA714620B9855

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  60. even vale can't throw this away, the season starts here

    fantastic come back by the millers, tone

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  61. cheers for the goals H.

    commiserations Trott, not sure you wanted the distraction of the cup given how poorly its been in the league.

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  62. exactly Spitster, thank fuck that's over, now we can concentrate on the league!

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  63. Trott must feel cheated after tonight's game... had most of the play but for five minutes of magic from Arshavin and finished 2-1 down.

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  64. from the beeb text........

    2133: Aldershit threaten again and it's that man Gutteridge who has a free-kick from the edge of the area saved by Manchester United keeper Ben Amos. They're doing their best to take at least one fond memory away from this game.

    ............

    not the finest hour of apparently an inexperienced commentator

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  65. I've felt cheated since we sold Anelka to Chelsea, Bo. That and the wife running off with the milkman. She even took the dog.

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  66. That's a bitch Trott... how's life without your dog?

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  67. That's not how it sounded to me Bo, but I suppose that's just radio gaga.

    Comisserations Trott, but our mix n match of fringe players, injurie returnees and embryos go marching on.

    Is that 5 wins a row?

    CRISIS!!

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  68. it worked out alright, I exercise with the neighbour's pussy three nights a week.

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  69. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  70. Reviewing my last posts, I have dedueced that I am in dire need of some alcohol, laters chaps.

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  71. Wish there was an early openers around here H2, feel in need myself at the mo.

    I know we generally complain about the neighbourhood pussies Trott but sometimes they are a god send.

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  72. Blog, with the time diff only just got to check, yes a good point but no wins in 7

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  73. H2H
    I just got upset in the other league, as I was beaten by the ghost team Average, lol

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  74. A decade ago, Newcastle beat Man Utd 5-0 and it didn't do them much good

    (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK4wFKYtipo)

    Long road to the end of the season -- who knows, Man Utd might just get relegated.
    __________________________________
    I am not Anonymous - I am Profile

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  75. Here's something that I learnt today, fact fans - laser actually stands for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. This semester at uni hasn't been a complete waste of time then.

    Noel

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  76. Only 1/6 of manure fans are from manc

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  77. There you go noel that's two facts you've learned today that everyone else already knew ; p

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  78. Thanks blog. Both those facts were new for me. I didn't think as many as 1/6 would be from manchester. More like 1/100.

    This link shows the fatally injured Marco Simoncelli being carried away from the track on a stretcher by Malaysian track marshalls - who then dropped him. Hope he was already dead and that didn't contribute in any way to his death. Why wasn't he attended at the scene by a doctor and ambulance anyhow?

    http://wwos.ninemsn.com.au/video.aspx?uuid=2005e619-7e8a-4a7d-98dd-f02cff4f5802

    Noel

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  79. Well that killed 10 minutes - red arrowing all the popular posts on the daily mail website and green arrowing all the unpopular ones knowing theres no need to read them

    But now to spend my time more productively writing the national epic... Mandraxe hath remembered what it ith he hath forgotten

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  80. It probably is closer to 1/100 Noel but that wouldn't have fit in with the derby scoreline now, would it.

    Just found out the queen has landed in Perth. It now makes sense why they changed the queen's birthday holiday to this Friday. (well it doesn't make sense but I can see why at least.) A day off is a day off whatever the reason.

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  81. Match of the week today then..liverpool v stoke. woohoo...the loss at the brittania earlier in the league was just to lull them into a false sense of security for this game. everyone knows its the beer cup that matters and not the league. just like ManU and the Gunners we're gonna be putting our strongest team out there today.

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  82. Why does the FFL site not show bosingwa being unavailable? Did his have his red card rescinded already ?

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  83. They should have rescinded it AH but I doubt they did. Chelsea were not going to appeal it.

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  84. Former captain Michael Vaughan warns England their performance in the India one-day series was "not good enough"
    ==========================================
    Wow..true genius there from Vaughan. I wonder how he figured it out. These guys actually get paid for this analysis ?

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  85. Mandrake's back? Finally some good news!

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  86. AH. I'm not 100% sure, but I thinok Boswinga would have recieved an automatic one match ban, which means he will only miss tonights CC game.

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  87. Ah, that makes sense H2. Let me quickly add him back to my FFL team to make sure he's there to get me a -2 this time as well.

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  88. Robbo here. Really. Still pitching in occasionally as anonymous. I'm jiggered if I know why either. Good to see the cultural exchange on this blog, SS. If you don't mind, I'll have three pints and some bangers n mash to celebrate a bit of Diwali, too.
    Has John Terry been given the night off in the Carling Cup? Hope it wasn't his idea when Chelsea played in thieer changed strip of black shirts a while back.

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  89. Someone hand him his Coates. The usual liverpool story. 8 shots at goal, 2 from point blank range, no goals. Stoke on the other hand, one shot at goal, one goal scored. This is getting a little tiresome. Someone send these fellas to a finishing school please.

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  90. Thank you very Mucha says Kalou. Reasonably comic effort that by the Toffees goalkeeper.

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  91. Finally, a moment of brilliance from Suarez to even things up. Super goal.

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  92. If I had known this site was all about culture I never would have come here.

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  93. Thanks Bo - I realise blog's jokes can sometimes be a little obscure, but I did get the 1/6 reference! If only City had scored 100 goals.

    You had Liz and Phil round for tea, Bo?

    Some hard fought wins last night by the looks of it. The League Cup is suddenly being taken more seriously by a lot of clubs.

    Noel

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  94. Noel,

    I think, by culture, Bo didnt mean the kind that turns Milk into Yoghurt.

    least that culture has a good use.

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  95. morning all .... SS/robbo/globalisation - its the wide range of personalities and backgrounds - extraordinary really given there's only about 8 of us left - that appeals to me.that plus robbo is still the best, funniest blogger I've come across.

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  96. Noel, seeing as it's Liz's birthday in the West on Friday I called her to extend an invitiation to pop around to celebrate it but she had to take a raincheck; it seems she has some pre-arranged do on at the time and I wasn't available on any other day. However, I did wish her all the best from the blog.

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  97. Satan was very pleased with his underworld. He pressed at the walls which sparked, stretched and rebounded. These arenas are actually vast football shaped geodesic domes, he explained to Mandraxe, made from charged particles of buckminsterfullerene. Only the best stuff. I got a job lot mined from a dying red giant. I have fun with them, I just opened a new one for Manchester United fans. All there is in there is a loop tape of Manchester City winning 6-1. When they switch allegiances and start cheering (and they all do eventually) I move them on to something more excruciating....

    to be continued

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  98. Morning Bo

    Fuck the queen and everything she stands for

    Happy birthday rather to Catch 22 which is a v. funny book. I read it because RBA was reading it! found it a hard read, it has a minimal plot line - milo minderbinders empire and the absurd revenge of natelys whore - its really the funniest collection of character sketches you'll ever read.

    I'm reading the follow up, closing time as a birthday tribute atm but surprise surprise its not a patch on the original

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  99. She's a bit old for fucking Blog.

    I read Catch 22 a number of years back... most modern American novels have a minimal plot line but they generally handle characterisation well.

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  100. Morning chaps,I quite liked Yossarian and his mad adventures.

    I've not seen many of my Un**ed customers this week,but it'll keep.

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  101. Mornin jacks, darth pulis isn't happy, I see

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  102. I even went into the sanctuary yesterday looking for them Jack but they seem to have developed a sudden shyness since Sunday.

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  103. Odd really how they've turned into badgers,rarely seen during daylight hours,but I'm sure I'll get my chance.

    As for Tony Pulis Blogidy,it's the default position for managers now (copyright The Govan Beetroot) to blame the referee for any defeat.

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  104. It is only when we get beat that the referee is to blame Jack... obviously if the referees were on their game as they were back in 2003/2004, we would never be beaten.

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  105. Just seems logical to me Jack... not believable but logical.

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  106. Dont fuck the Queen, you dont knpow who's been there alreay.

    actualy you do.

    as I said, dont fuck the queen.

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  107. England manager Fabio Capello is ready to pick both Terry and Rio Ferdinand, brother of Anton, to face Spain on 12 November.
    ---

    WHY THE FUCK?

    the best I can hope for is that they both knock each other out. Ferdinand for being past it and Terry for being Terry.


    Oi, Crapello, its a friendly, pick some younger players for fuck sake.

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  108. He's playing it for laughs now, Spit - I'm sure hrd pick Wayne bridge at left back and vanessa peroncel at right back if he could

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  109. 8 of us left Blogs?

    So many? Really?

    Funny though, that there's so many in the blog league then.
    ===

    It's true about the Utd fan dissapearing after a hiccup, well, in this case more of a giant belch, one of the ones that leave a sick taste in your mouth, which now I think of it is a great analogy when used with IOU fans.

    Internet does indeed become a no mancs land, Citeh fans are just getting to grips with the fact that they now have a footy team, they'll get the hang of the web in a few years time.

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  110. Billionares dont like it when they dont get what they want ...

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-15481301

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  111. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  112. You can't blame the fans who own it though Spit, they wouldn't want to lose the place were all their history has unfolded over the last decade.

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  113. Paris Saint-Germain have ordered 20,000 shirts with former England captain David Beckham's name emblazoned on the back, ready for his rumoured arrival at the club in November.
    Full story: talkSPORT
    =====
    What if he doesn't join?

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  114. Cameroon striker Samuel Eto'o insists his move to Russian club Anzhi Makhachkala was for football and not financial reasons.
    Full story: the Sun

    ====

    Who could possibly think otherwise?

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  115. http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/oddballs/834495-larissa-riquelme-strips-naked-for-paraguay-as-promised
    -------------------------------------
    I love it when stars keep their promises.
    (do not open at work).

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  116. H they could persuade someone to change their name to Beckham.

    Makachkala must be Russian for Manchester, its going to be a global brand of billionaire oligarchic conquest like the 40 Alexandrias Alexander established through his empire.

    That's until they find a new hobby, intergalactic cheese rolling or summat

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  117. Cheese rolling? Has anybody got the link to the fantasy cheese rolling league?

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  118. So the inaugural Indian Grand Prix this weekend. Is there much buzz about it over there, SS? Shame they couldn't give one of the Indian drivers a seat for the race. Hopefully it'll be well supported and not another Korea or Bahrain where the stands are empty. Bernie Ecclestone is a lot like FIFA - trying to put his product out to the highest bidder, irrelevant of support for the sport in that country. I imagine if it weren't for foreign fans, the Qatar World Cup would be the same, with empty stadiums.

    Noel

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  119. Old Trafford wouold be empty if it were not for foreign fans Noel.

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  120. Bo, good point, well made. Looking forward to the FFL this weekend and seeing how the new look Smell My Cheese gets on. Playing against the Pet Shop Boys and Jack's Tractor Boys.

    Noel

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  121. I am taking my team over again, so you should notice the Muggers taking a downward plunge in the table during the next few weeks.

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  122. Noel, dohnt even ask about the buzz? Even those who dont know a F about F1 are talking about it.

    Apart from the owners of the Sahara Force India F1 car, I dont think there's any Indian presence in this Grand Prix. Although Narain Karthikeyan and Karan Chandok are 3rd drivers for some car I guess. Plus there will be a long queue of Indian celebrities and dignitaries who've made F1 in India possible.

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  123. Q) Why are there 2 clubs in the Manchester?
    A) Because City is not United.

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  124. http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/mattslater/2011/10/arsenal_agm.html
    -------------------
    Not all doom as the last line suggests if we finish 4th.

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  125. "It happens only in India"
    --------------------
    1) 0537: Is this the first time a session has ever been stopped because of a stray dog on the track?

    2) "The Sauber team arrived in time to take part in some Diwali festivities on and off the track in Delhi. This morning the car was blessed in a ritual in the pit lane. A priest recited mantras and performed a puja, a religious ritual performed on both big and small occasions, with the car being covered in marigold flowers and a red tikka, which is the red dot of vermillion paste usually dabbed on the forehead.

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  126. Titus Bramble has been charged with urinating in a public place.

    That's not good news for all the premiership defenders that have pissed all over him for the last 10 years.

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  127. SS said...
    "It happens only in India"
    --------------------
    "The Sauber team arrived in time to take part in some Diwali festivities on and off the track in Delhi. This morning the car was blessed in a ritual in the pit lane. A priest recited mantras and performed a puja, a religious ritual performed on both big and small occasions, with the car being covered in marigold flowers and a red tikka, which is the red dot of vermillion paste usually dabbed on the forehead.
    ==========================================

    If they end up with an unexpectedly good result, you can bet it'll happen everywhere else as well.

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  128. So is India No. 1 in ODIs again ? would be quite interesting to see the No.1 exchanging hands each time the former no. 1 was whitewashed in an away series. Just goes to show there arent too many consistently good teams doing well irrespective of conditions.

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  129. The points system is flawed. It says India are 3rd.

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  130. Yup..I admit to not knowing much about the cricket points system, but just these facts:
    --------------
    India were No. 1
    they lost 4-0 to england and slipped to 3rd
    they beat england 5-0 but remain 3rd
    ------------

    are kinda strange.

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  131. England are still the number 1 ranked test teram,as well as the number 1 ranked T20 team,50 over ODI rankings England are 4th (I think it's the Aussies that are top)

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  132. The sick joke that is fifa vomits up another bucket of putrescent shamelessness.....

    Fifa announced yesterday it had appointed Infront Sports and Media to handle the sale of World Cup TV rights in a number of Asian countries for the 2018 and 2022 tournaments.
    But they failed to disclose the president of Infront is Philippe Blatter, the Fifa president's nephew.
    :.:...........

    When will it end? Is it only the English who give a toss? Surely not?

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  133. Mixed day today...root canal treatment but picked up my new bike in the way home.

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  134. Been back a week and everything is back to normal. Completed a week's work and still not cleared the backlog of accounts and orders that were waiting for me when I got back. But the sun is shining and there isn't a cloud in the sky so it is all good.

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  135. Glad to hear you say that Bo. Its not yet November here and expecting 4-6 inches of snow tomorrow. Yikes. Howz things in Noo Joisey Trotts. Cant be too different I'd imagine.

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  136. Breaking News.

    Chelski have just issued the following statement;

    “John Terry categorically denies racially abusing Anton Ferdinand. However he has not yet ruled out shagging his missus.”

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  137. The kid's will be happy anyway AH.

    There's no smoke without fire (as the all knowing they say), and I can't see any reason for Ferdinand to say he was racially abused if he wasn't, so in my mind Terry has just added another string to his bow (full of cliche's today) which makes a racist arsehole wagshagger.

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  138. Bo I said to her - get my coat you've pulled a chauvinist

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  139. Her name is Giant Defy 2 and she's a real goer, she's very young though hope that doesn't make me a pedalphile

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  140. mornin lads, yes AH, there'll be no bikes in Noo Joisey, big snow moving in, it could spell the end of the golf season!

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  141. Story in the Sun about a guy who was unsuccessfully stalking the leading lady in a pantomime.

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  142. Whatever was or wasn't said, and I doubt anton will find it probable, the really shameful thing about the latest sordid terry incident is that NO ONE would ever think, "ah out john, he's England captain he's not the kind of guy who would ever say that", because we all know he's precisely the sort of person who would.

    As the old Anglo Saxon proverb has it, You can take the sack of shit out of the shit but you can't take the shit out of the sack of shit because you'd get the sack. Innit.

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  143. The golf course's loss is the cheese rolling hill's gain, trott.

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  144. Were experiencing a Halloween heatwave btw

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  145. Saw Willie Nelson in concert on Thursday. His new song is "Roll me up and smoke me when I die" - reckon he's into cheese rolling, a nice smoked gouda perhaps.

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  146. When will we learn to defend on set pieces. Poor effort from Mertesacker there... Will have to fight hard to get something in 2nd half now. Have to rely on RvP again.

    ReplyDelete
  147. All I do is play music and golf - which one do you want me to give up?
    Willie Nelson

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  148. The first half could have seen any amount of goals, as it is Chelsea lead 2-1. Arsenal have to get a left back... Santos is overweight, slow and doesn't seem to know where he is half the time. Chelsea are playing down thier right at every opportunity.... and why not.

    A pedalhile did you say blog... I'm not sure, how old do you have to be to be a pedalphile?

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  149. If only Mertesacker was a bit taller, he might have won a fucking header or two...

    the only way Andre Santos is going to catch me in a race is if I were carrying his lunch.


    absolute rubbish defending...

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  150. I thought old Willie was senile. I saw him on some American late show around 15 years back singing a duet with some C&W singer and he didn't know the words... and it was his song.

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  151. Dull game,the Ar***al crisis continues.

    Poor old John Terry,my heart bleeds.

    I mean ha ha ha ha ha ha ha twat.

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  152. Captain Fantastic does it once more as the gunners take it out 3-5

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  153. Yes!!! We Are The Arsenal!!! We Are The Arsenal!!! We Are The Arsenal!!! Come on!!!! Captain Vantastic... Great second half by Theo Walcott and Song and center backs.

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  154. Bo, was it that old Dog Truck Whisky Woman Cowboy song?

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  155. Dull Jack? Goals galore (could have been quite a few more in the first half)... a lot of careless play and not a huge amount of skill involved... but hardly dull.

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  156. Shit Trott... I'm going senile myself mate, so there is no chance I could remember the song but it was c&w so the you have the sentiment right... the title escapes me though.

    ReplyDelete
  157. Well, that win put me on a bit of a high, I might go and troll the porn sites.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Well done gunners . I tell you what though if van persil decides the contract offer won't wash and suds off showing a clean pair of heels, then Wenger will be in a ... fuck it

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  159. they'll get Princess Ariel as a replacement, Blog.

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  160. no clean sheets with her though!

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  161. Clunk Click every trip, have a safe journey Jimmy, RIP

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  162. now then now then, howz about that then guys and gals. Tip of the cap to Jimmy.

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  163. Carling cup draw:

    Arsenal v Man C
    Chelsea v Liverpool
    Man U v Crystal Palace (lucky as always)
    Cardiff v Blackburn Rivers.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Bring back Pharoah Amenhotep III!

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  165. Look on my works Ye mighty and despair...uh uh uh uh uh now then now then ....

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  166. Rather in Trotts case, bring back ElMandy. ;)

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  167. Bring back my life my children have stolen it

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  168. Bring back my bonnie to me, toooo meeee.

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  169. I really enjoyed that game this afternoon. First half was pretty even, both teams guilty of poor defending. Second half Arsenal were better, must admit though that I thought we were lucky that Woj wasn't sent off, still I'll take a win like that any day of the week.

    The JT slip was priceless.

    Plus we shoved that tart Brian Buck's words down his throat.

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  170. Bus stop in Fulham. Its just a bus stop in Fulham.

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  171. chucklesome....bring back hanging!

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  172. Just checking the halfway FFL scores and I'm on top in both my H2H games and I still have 5 players to come. Only hold a 1 point lead over Jacks though. In the words of Kevin Keegan, I'd love it, love it, if I could go just one week in the FFL without having a player sent off. Kompany let me down this week.

    And bring back RBA.

    Noel

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  173. Bring back British Summer Time!

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  174. Special offer for Chelsea fans:

    Turn in your Chelsea Blue for a faded version and only pay Half price to become a ManCity fan in time for the season's celebrations.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Sebastian Vettel wins inaugural Indian GP. Alonso finished on podium in 3rd place. All in all a gr8 race and track as well was magnificient.

    I think I should plan to visit the place for next year's race.

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  176. Well played SS. I thought you would live to regret not making RvP your captain as it was a close on till Komapny got sent off. With some luck, I might get the better of Adam in the other H2H game.

    Liverpool's defence looks so much better without Carra in it. Agger and Skrtel were rock solid, most likely because West Brom were shit.

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  177. hoping to creep into 1st place in Robbos h2h, if I hold on to slim lead and Spit beats H2H in top clash

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  178. WTF!!!

    I just checked the FFL too, I've had RvP as my captain since day one, but now it's saying Silva is my captain. Whhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???

    I want my ball back.

    Screw you guys I'm going home.

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  179. Ah well, nevermind, I've always got the moment when JT decided he needed to pray to Allah for forgiveness to cheer me up.

    Looped for your enjoyment.

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  180. Nice loop H2.

    Such a shame for a nice man...

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  181. I love your Blogs Robbo, but you dont half twit some crap sometimes.

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  182. Morning all.

    Great Diwali weekend. I guess each weekend is going to throw up scorelines which can be used as puns.

    CH3LSEA - AR5ENAL!!! I can watch that 4th goal all day for enjoyment. He would'nt have caught up with RvP anyways... he must have thought going down to the ground as better excuse to getting a red card.

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  183. Thanks AH. But I still regret not making RvP as captain and thats two games on the bounce now. However the trend suggests me to "persie"st with same strategy. ;)

    44-60 in my favor with both having one player left from today's game. Only if Begovic saves 3 penalties and a Simpson red card can help you win for this gameweek.

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  184. Happy Halloween all.

    Just hope tonight is a good as last year, with the Mighty Mags producing another 5-1 thrashing of a team in read & white stripes & going to the dizzy heights of 3rd in the league.

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  185. I have Simpson on my bench SS, which means not only is he going to have a clean sheet, he is probably gonna get a couple assists and a goal.

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  186. Fortune though pitted me against former league leader Adam on one of his weaker days..managing a comfortable victory there unless Ba gets a hat-trick.

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