Monday, 7 November 2011

Stand For Fergie (If We Must)

Regular readers will know that I’m not given to outlandish statements, foolhardy predictions or irrational outbursts. But I say this to you: Democracy is dead.

The Greeks invented democracy, right? They exported it around the world to other nations who set about doing it way better. Like England and football, really. And cricket. And rugby.... tennis... *sigh* And now our Hellenic friends are holding a gun to the head of Europe and cobbling together a coalition to try and answer the continental concern.

In democracies everyone gets to vote – which is nice but quite often leads to stupidity winning the day. (See Frankie Cocozza).

I'm just bein' a knob and gettin' away wiv it. Eat your heart out Robbie Savage.

Me, I’ve always thought that the best system of rule is a dictatorship. You just have to get the right dictator.

Take Manchester United. When I was growing up they were English football’s glamorous afterthought. Post-Busby they slipped into the second division as easily as George Best slipped into a nightclub. O’Farrell was replaced by Tommy Docherty and the little gargoyle kept us entertained with the likes of Coppell and Gordon Hill (a kind of prototype Manc Cockney for Beckham) but had only an FA Cup to show for his efforts.

The Doc was a ‘character’ – a phrase that I think meant ‘pisshead’ – and United replaced the slurring bon viveur with Dave Sexton, a man with all the charisma of a woodlouse. Sensing that the crowd at the Theatre of Dreams were dreaming all too often while Sexton’s team were on the park, United turned to a Black Country version of Docherty, the Bling Magnet and Casual Racist Big Ron Atkinson.

Again, United copped a couple of FA Cups but were never able to muster a really significant assault on the League.

And to be honest, apart from the genetically encoded Scouse spite, no one really minded Man U. There was a bit of glamour sentiment attached to them, but essentially when The One True Dictator arrived Manchester United were a side overly reliant on Bryan Robson and Worthington’s Best Bitter.

What’s interesting about United managers prior to Fergie is that they lasted 3 or 4 years. In Sexton’s case, whilst doing f-all. The Govan Beetroot himself managed 4 years of diddly before they stumbled past Crystal Palace in an FA Cup Final.

What I mean to say is, they let the bloke be a bit shit for a while. How likely is that nowadays? (Apart from at Middlesbrough, where we wait for them to prove that they always were a bit shit before we move ‘em on). Ferguson had to change the culture of the club, which meant them getting used to such novelties as hairdryers, shallow frying and a drink called Water.

Slowly the dictator ossified into place and if we must all take it in turns to kiss old Taggart’s ring, then it’s fair to say that his greatest triumph has been his ability to recognise when players are past their use-by-date and when they’re ready to be thrown into the big time.

Me, I’d love to dwell on the things that didn’t work. And that basically means Eric Djemba Djemba, Kleberson and Taibi. It’s just that in 25 years that’s not bad going. Benitez managed to buy twice as many duffers during his somewhat shorter stay at the western end of the M62.

There should be many other instances where his faith hasn’t been justified. His interest in horses clearly extends to Portuguese show-ponies, but the mincing strut of Ronaldo and Nani has paid huge dividends in the end.

Giving gainful employment to a French background artist with a potty line in poetry shouldn’t have worked either but Cantona continues to be his masterstroke. That Kung Fu kick led some wags to suggest that this was the first bona fide cast of the shit actually hitting the fan.

Then there’s his sudden deployment of the cornerstones of England’s ‘golden generation’ – your Neville, your Butt, your Becks, your Scholes, your – shit, I’ve come over all Lawrenson – who were way too young to win the title. Of course, put that lot in England shirts and they became a less precious metal – the leaden, tinpot generation, I think you could call it.

My point is, if Ferguson’s tenure had been subject to the forces of democracy then none of this would’ve happened. If the season ticket holders of the Sir Alex Ferguson Stand (and frankly I wish he’d stop standing and just sit the fuck down in a comfy armchair somewhere) had been given their say as to whether, say, Roy Keane should spend more time with his wife’s puppies, or even if Carlos Tevez should haul his greedy ass across Manchester, they’d still be sitting in the North Stand today.

And if it was one fan one vote, Fergie would’ve been winding his way back up to his favourite Glasgow chewing-gum vending machine with his tail between his legs after a couple of years. The fans didn’t much care for 11th in the First Division in 1987 (which as the name suggests, teenagers, used to be the best division in the country).

I’m telling you, dictators are the best bet. If only you could rely on them not being too malevolent. And only opposition managers, former players, referees and BBC executives could ever accuse Ferguson of owt like that. Could they?

Me, I’ve always blamed his Mrs. There was a time, after a trophyless season (ah happy days!) when if it wasn’t for her elbowing him back to work we’d all be chuckling behind our hands as the Glazers or whoever went through managers like the lad Cocozza gets through Bacardi-breezered totty.

But he’s still there, dammit. It looks like he’s mellowing. We can but hope.

So well done, your Knightship but please, enough is enough. Martin O’Neill’s tired of waiting. Time for a new dictator.

And that George Papandreou’ll need a job.

Man U? Compare to the bleedin' Greek economy is a piece of piss, innit?

233 comments:

  1. First - sorry

    Sheppy

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  2. 2nd - not sorry
    BeeZee

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  3. okay, time to read the blog then...

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  4. Great stuff Robbo, here's to Fergie's next 25.

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  5. I suspect that when Fergie exits stage left,possibly like that other Scottish great Jock Stein,the trophyless days will return to Un**ed.As will the managerial roundabout for them as well.

    Tick tock goes the clock.

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  6. Giving gainful employment to a French background artist with a potty line in poetry shouldn’t have worked either but Cantona continues to be his masterstroke. That Kung Fu kick led some wags to suggest that this was the first bona fide cast of the shit actually hitting the fan.

    ------------------


    lovely.

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  7. Top Blog Robbo but I'm worried. What's this about kissing the Beetroot's ring?

    The Bravery Award goes to Derek Robson!

    Jedi

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  8. All credit to his Sirship, he's done a great job and I don't think we'll see someone like him again in our lifetimes.

    I believe he fully deseves the honour of the naming a stand after him, ironically though most football fans see it differently as they can't Stand Alex Ferguson.

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  9. Results speak for themselves dont they. No one is going to come close to SAFs achievements in a long time to come. The man is incomparable as a coach. Since its that time of the decade where we only say nice things about him, I will not refer to any of his other charming qualities.

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  10. At last someone else who doesn't think the sun shines out of SAF arse!

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  11. From previous blog:
    tone1947 said...
    I know that was a bit of a melee but how did the ref miss Walker doing Friedels job?
    =================================
    This week saw a few more examples of shocking refereeing. The Walker incident was of course in a league of its own. Short of picking up the ball and throwing it out to adebayor he did everything else.

    I also found the incident that has obviously gone unnoticed in the wolves-wigan game really poor. Hunt was clearly brought down by AL-habsi but did his best to stay on his feet and hence no penalty/foul given. Had he gone down, it would undoubtedly have been a penalty. On the one hand we berate (with some justification) players going down too easily, and yet refs wont make a difficult call unless the player goes to ground. If he does go to ground and replays show him diving, its not bad refereeing anymore so the refs get to play safe. The refs should really show some balls and call it as they see it, or players will be forced to go to ground always.

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  12. Ever heard the phrase 'A camel is a horse designed by a committee' ?

    I think that's what you're trying to say here.

    But dictatorship?? And there's me thinking you were an ardent socialist, Niall 'sit-yer' As*down!

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  13. Check out the Robbo H2H Noel..we're on same points and same goal difference at joint 7th spot.

    Finally made it to the top 10 in both h2hs. now the difficult task of not doing a hull.

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  14. er..Im no literary expert chris167, but I dont think that analogy/statement is accurate here. There is no 'design by committee' strain to the blog at all. The main thread being 'a non-despotic dictator (manu/fergie) beats non-functional democracy (every other club/manager)', I believe the democracy/dictatorship analogy is probably correct.

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  15. Somebody referring to Robbo by his proper name.

    Could it be?

    It couldn't could it?

    Chris167,JDR is it really you?

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  16. high praise for the club indeed, exactly why Arsenal will always be the bigger club no matter the moneybags elsewhere,
    http://www.goal.com/en/news/9/england/2011/11/06/2745209/marco-van-basten-urges-robin-van-persie-to-remain-at-arsenal

    --BeeZee

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  17. Good blog ROBBO, respect to SAF(typed with gritted teeth)

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  18. Think I should brag, as is tradition, since I am top of the h2h league.

    the only way, as they say, is down.

    Bragggggging.

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  19. I agree with your political views Robbo. I've already spoken enough praise about Fergie, I'm not wasting any more space on the fucker.

    Nah Jack... Chris didn't seem eloquent nor verbose enough to be JDR.. he could be the other prick, whose alias escapes me at the moment.

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  20. Years in the wilderness for Un**ed Jack... oh happy days. I hope I live long enough to see it though mate.

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  21. Is there a self-appointed Un**ed censor on Robbo's blog?

    I had two posts removed (or at least dissapear) from the last blog; one referring to Fergie and the other to Beckham. Methinks there may be a bit of shulduggery afoot.

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  22. evenin' Bo, I saw your "Beckham" post and it reminded me to mention to you what a great game he had last night, his cross for the winner was sublime! Hope they win the final and he enjoys his sunset years in Horwich. Unlikely though as all right sided mid-fielders that go there eventually get broken legs.

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  23. I like Beckham Trott... well in the way you tend to like little puppies anyway. I've just had enough of seeing him everywhere lately.

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  24. Big raps for Andy Polo (ok guys get your holey mint jokes and puns ready) from Tim Vickery on his blog this week. There is mention of Arsenal and Spurs having an interest in him. Get in there Arsene, this young guy could be what we are looking for.

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  25. Bloody Spurs, they are becoming a pain in the arse... the last post should have been Liverpool and not Spurs who have an interest in him along with the gunners.

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  26. Do Spurs still have an interest in Beckham too?

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  27. Nice blog Robbo. Shit hitting the fan line was a good 'un.

    He's a midfielder Trott, so he's high on the wanted list. We are interested, but I think he'll go to PSG as Posh will fancy living in Paris for it's fashion and all that.

    Yeah we were close in the end AH. Only 14 points in it. For some reason I've gone up in both H2H leagues despite losing a game in one of them. Can't complain. I play Bo again in the next gameweek after he gave my team a pasting a few weeks ago in the other league. That was pre-wildcard though so should be a closer game this time round. I've made the rookie mistake of putting RVP in my team before an international match. Chances are he'll come a cropper playing for the Oranje.

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  28. Well democracy is a myth ain't it like big foot someone claims to have seen it once

    Were not a democracy, a poxy vote every 4 or 5 years and in-between times dim and degenerate public school boys run the joint in their own interest and do what they fucking want

    5 th century Athens was as democratic as my arse ask all women, xenoi and the 9 slaves for every citizen. What democracy there was was born of the citizen warriors of the triremes and the hoplite phalanx who demanded a say for their part in defeating the Persian invaders at marathon and salamis, nd you're right Robbo its like handing over team selection to the dressing room ... the ekklesia consistently made the most stupid decisions in history, outnumbered so lose a battle? Hands up who thinks we should Execute the generals! What....All of you? What are you billionaire football club owners?

    And Sparta achieved SAF like eunomia with an oligarchic system which made Hitlers Reich look like a registered charity so don't even go there .... eugenically selected, brutally conditioned to fight and die in the cause of, well, fighting and dying

    just a little warning from history for man utd ... Thebes found an incredible charismatic leader in the form of epamonidas whose revolutionary battle tactics at leuctra (the echeloned attack, implemented by the Sacred Band, 150 pairs of rock-hard oo-er homosexual lovers ... seriously) defeated the Spartan psycho super soldiers for the first time in 200 years and achieved a brief hegemony over the peloponnese ... until Epamonidas' untimely death and it all fell apart.

    Enter the world conquering Mancedonians, under Alexander who if you check out the extant coinage and iconography, closely resembled Mancini....

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  29. that's a good idea Noel and she can pass on her used baby clothes to Carla Bruni.

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  30. is that the heads or tails side blog? The coin I have is with an urn resembling the prem trophy on one side and a bloke with leaves on his head on t'other. Could be confetti I suppose.

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  31. that's not the premiership trophy, trott, that's the big-eared emperor justinian

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  32. O sorry thats the same joke you just cracked

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  33. er er the Bieber back stage tryst that led to the alleged fathering of the Bieber love child reportedly lasted only 30 seconds

    The girl in question claims he was just in

    Coat!

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  34. A sewer pipe broke at old traffird on Saturday

    The shit hit the fans

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  35. What has two wings and a halo?

    A Chinese telephone.

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  36. The missus said that I wouldn't be able to demonstrate the past tense.

    I showed her.

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  37. Spit, I know the feeling after my 1 brief week at the top, but then a sound defeat against SS soon meant reality kicked in

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  38. RIP Smoking Joe

    Not a great boxing fan, but remember many of the great fights of the 70s Frazier/Ali/Foreman

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  39. Yep,

    guess true sporting greatness is measured by how you cut against other sporting greats.

    RIP Joe Frazier.

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  40. Morning all.

    Not that much of a good feel for Fergie. But yes he is what he is and has achieved a fair bit to go down as one of the best managers in PL history.

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  41. Tone, just one of those phases where my team has been performing exceptionally better. I am knocking on the doors for CL places.

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  42. I remember "Smokin" Joe... he's the one that was knocked out by the breeze of Ali's gloves wasn't he? He and Ali had some great fights though... I stopped watching boxing after these two quit the ring.

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  43. This kid has to have her mother singing in the background... no way that voice is coming from her ten year old frame.

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  44. As a footballer I think Beckham sets a very good example.Made the best of what he's got,trains hard,keeps fit.

    However,his PR machine really does get on my nerves.

    And as for his wife......

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  45. why are recepsionists ever so inviting?

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  46. Liverpool director of football Damien Comolli is believed to be earmarking a move to sign Sao Paulo playmaker Lucas.
    ---

    you can never have enough lucases.

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  47. Liverpool are suffering from Spurs-itis. Looking at every available midfielder when what we need is a forward capable of tap-ins.

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  48. Who knew goal hangers were so underrated...

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  49. Justin Bieber has outed himself as a Chelsea fan.

    lovely.

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  50. Who or what is Frankie Cocozza?

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  51. Thomas Kush....Tomas Kuzz....the Un**ed reserve keeper claims to be being treated like a slave.

    Never cross Fergie Tomas,you'll never be seen of again.



    http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story/_/id/981375/tomasz-kuszczak:-i've-become-a-slave-at-man-utd?cc=5739

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  52. Meanwhile Jack Wilshere promises to stay at Ar***al for life.

    City next season then?

    http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11670/7298265/Wilshere-Gunner-stay-for-life

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  53. If someone would kindly pay me £40K per week, I'll gladly be their slave.

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  54. I'd like to outprice Roger on that one. I'd do that slave thingy for 39k a week.

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  55. what with the drink trade on its last legs and the land running fallow for the want of artificial manures

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  56. Astroturf is the obvious answer.

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  57. *takes a bow for Jacks comment*

    ==
    Roger T.

    I had no idea who he was either, a quick google informed me that he is one of those saddos from X factor.

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  58. Bloggy said;

    "Thebes found an incredible charismatic leader in the form of epamonidas whose revolutionary battle tactics at leuctra (the echeloned attack, implemented by the Sacred Band, 150 pairs of rock-hard oo-er homosexual lovers ... seriously) defeated the Spartan psycho super soldiers for the first time in 200 years and achieved a brief hegemony over the peloponnese ... until Epamonidas' untimely death and it all fell apart."
    ===

    I really need to start paying attention to the lower leagues, I have no idea who any of the forementioned teams are.

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  59. "Fifa reject the proposal from the FA to allow the England team to wear poppies on their shirts for the friendly against Spain this Saturday. Fifa say "We regret to inform you that accepting such initiatives would open the door to similar initiatives from all over the world, jeopardising the neutrality of football."
    --------------------------------------------

    We obviously didn't put enough cash in the brown envelope.

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  60. FIFA on poppies: "FA can continue supporting the cause of Remembrance. One of them already was approved by FIFA, the Period of Silence."
    ---------------------------------------------

    Well that's fucking big of them to allow our national team to observe a minutes silence in memory of all the people that fought and died and in doing so allow organisations such as FIFA to exist.

    What a bunch of wankers. Why can't we just wear the poppy on the shirts anyway and tell FIFA to go fuck themselves. In 2004 they only fined the Spanish FA £44000 for their fans being racist. Surely they couldn't fine our FA more for wearing poppies.

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  61. Very sad that FIFA has chosen to take that route. I can't see the poppy being offencive to any particular race or creed. It is afteral a salute to those who gave their lives for the freedom of others everywhere.

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  62. well said chaps. Now, if they all had a fuckin' great big poppy emblazoned on their vests, whoever scores could celebrate by taking off his shirt and all the world will see the poppy. Obviously the slight flaw in this idea is that it relies on us scoring so as a back up, a poppy on their arses should be used as a back-up plan and if we don't score, they can all moon the fifa representatives in the vip box at the final whistle.

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  63. FIFA should have a period of silence. 30 years would be a good start.

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  64. ColchesterFC said...

    FIFA on poppies: "FA can continue supporting the cause of Remembrance. One of them already was approved by FIFA, the Period of Silence."
    ---------------------------------------------

    Well that's fucking big of them to allow our national team to observe a minutes silence in memory of all the people that fought and died and in doing so allow organisations such as FIFA to exist.

    What a bunch of wankers. Why can't we just wear the poppy on the shirts anyway and tell FIFA to go fuck themselves. In 2004 they only fined the Spanish FA £44000 for their fans being racist. Surely they couldn't fine our FA more for wearing poppies.

    ---------------------

    Seconded Colch. I've been running an all day 'Fifa are Cunts' campaign on Facebook. If the FA can't be bothered to grow a pair then our lads ought to step up and either wear their poppies with pride or refuse to play.

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  65. FIFA just wont stop getting back at us for the world cup bribery expose. sons of bitches. I really really hope hte FA grow a pair Star.

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  66. Kinda lame I know, but had me grinning for a bit. Throwback to the good old 80s.

    http://www.eatliver.com/i.php?n=5748

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  67. What's going on down at White Hart Lane Noel?... spying on the Olympic committee and all. Is 'arry trying to dig up some dirt on the members in order to do a bit of a deal then.

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  68. Personally I think it's an Orient spy who has just used the cover of being a Spurs spy. Or it's those nasty West Ham chairmen spreading malicious rumours.

    I don't really know what's going on there Bo. I thought Spurs had sorted funding with the council after the Tottenham riots to build the new stadium up there. This story seems to have happened a while back. Shady behaviour indeed if true.

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  69. BUT, my dear friends, I am not sure John Terry wearing a poppy on his England shirt to go with his captain's armband would fill me with national of pride.

    I am pretty sure those of our forefathers who fought and died alongside their brother's in arms from the commonwealth wouldnt be much saddened by it either.

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  70. Speaking of John Terry,he was asked for his opinion on the death of Joe Frazier.It's reported his answer was...

    "The black cunt was a legend"

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  71. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/15651136.stm
    ---

    I know its PFA's job to take care of the interests of each pro footballer, but surely this dick head is giving htem all a bad name?

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  72. That's one dictator, the head of FIFA who makes ridiculous decisions I would all like to see the end of and then go into wild celebrations and never remember him again for life.

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  73. And speaking of FIFA being cnuts and cartelish in their behaviour.There was an interesting piece on the world service this morning.FIFA are warning Brazil that they could take the 2014 wc away from them unless they pass new legislation that essentially allows FIFA to do what the hell it likes.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/dcunited/fifas-valcke-asks-brazilian-government-to-approve-law-needed-for-2014-world-cup/2011/11/08/gIQAqMXu0M_story.html

    http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/sports/11/09/11/fifa-warns-brazil-again-over-world-cup-preparations

    http://www.theworldcupbrazil2014.com/an-endless-dispute-fifa-and-the-brazilian-government/

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  74. Manchester United officials were left embarrassed after a letter 'S' on the new Sir Alex Ferguson stand was revealed to be upside down.
    ---

    how the fuck does one know if an S is upside down?

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  75. FIFA 'demand' that all its officials be granted diplomatic status in the host countries effectively protecting them from any kind of prosecution if they get into any mischief.

    CUNTS. The lot of them.

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  76. PM David Cameron says Fifa ban on England players wearing poppies on shirts is 'outrageous'
    ---------------------------------------

    So do something about it then you dickhead! Order our FA to put the poppy on the shirt and to hell with the consequences.

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  77. what exactly can FIFA do if the England team turn out of the tunnle with a poppy each on their shirts anyway?

    Not like they have NATO's air power to back 'em up, do they?

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  78. Definitely a fine Spit and they'd probably get their observer at the game to try and stop the match going ahead until England changed their shirts. But hopefully there would be 80 or 90 thousand fans there shouting abuse at him as he tries it.

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  79. Britain should declare war on these German speaking twats from FIFA....

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  80. Football's world governing body decrees that shirts should not carry political, religious or commercial messages.
    ------------------------------------------

    As far as I'm aware the poppy is not a political, religious or commercial message so I can't see what the problem is.

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  81. so no flags then? how about the flag of Saudi Arabia with a sword and some verse on it? haw about those of iran, Iraq and Afghanistan with words Allah Akbar on them ? How about the one from Angola with a machete on it? Mozambique, Haiti or Bolivia with guns on them?

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  82. According to the BBC this morning the referee has the power to cancel the game should anyone turn up with an emblem on their shirts.

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  83. but what of black armbands? I have seen them worn, how are they different from the poppies?

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  84. The difference,apparently,is no team is allowed to wear any symbol with political or religious symbols extra to the usual shirt design.

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  85. SO we're agreed then, football should be run by the english because when have we ever ignored the sensitivities of foreign cultures?

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  86. Lots of people are angry that the players won't be able to have the embroidered poppies on their kit.

    But Fifa's rules say players' shirts cannot have commercial, religious or political messages on them.

    The sport's world governing body said: "Such initiatives would open the door to similar initiatives from all over the world, jeopardising the neutrality of football."

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  87. Just emailed this to FIFA.........

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    I am sure I am not alone in finding it appalling that FIFA are preventing the England football team from displaying the Rememberance Poppy on their shirts for the upcoming friendly against Spain. According to the statement from FIFA "shirts should not carry political, religious or commercial messages". As far as I am aware the poppy does not fall into any of these categories and is a symbol to recognise the sacrifice of those that gave their lives, not just in England but also from Australia, New Zealand, Canada and many more countries throughout the world.
    I really hope that the English FA ignore you're pathetic rule and go ahead and put the poppy on the shirts of our national team. Without the heroics of the men who gave their lives your organisation would not even exist in it's current form. Shame on you and your rule makers for this ridicuous and disgusting decision.
    While FIFA is deluged with allegations of corruption and the debate as to whether Brazil will be ready to host the 2014 World Cup continues it is good to see that FIFA have time to tackle the really important matters like a nation wishing to remember those men and women who were considerably braver and more noble than many if not all within your organisation.

    I really hope that you will take the time to reverse this crass decision.

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  88. And you can also let FIFA know what you think at......

    http://www.fifa.com/contact/form.html

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  89. ichbineinfrankfurter...a subtle point to note. Remembrance day isnt to remember those who the British killed in wars that have been. It is to remember those British who have given the ultimate sacrifice to their country. It really has no meaning /reference or any intent to gloat over soldiers from germany or any other country and hence really has no bearing, nor should it, on the sensitivities of any nation other than ours. Peace mate.

    Damn it, this blog is now becoming a political forum. Is their no end to our metamorphoses?

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  90. I am most likely out of step with the collective thoughts of the blog but I don't give a toss whether we are allowed to wear a poppy or not.

    The players that want to wear a poppy can do so both before and after the game, I am sure a couple of hours without it will not do any harm.

    There are more than a billion people staving in the world any one of whom would accept a food parcel with or without a poppy on it.

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  91. To be honest Bo, I couldnt care too much about the poppy myself, what pisses me off is FIFA telling what we can and cannot wear on our national jerseys.

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  92. Not for nuttin' but the 3 Lions have more religious significance than a poppy. Suppose they'll be removed soon enough.

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  93. An asteroid has narrowly missed the Earth by 201,000 miles. Scientists have named it "Emile Heskey".

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  94. Of course, the team should wear poppies but fifa are right WHERE WILL IT END?next thing you know the players will be bearing long bows in memory of agincourt and burning Catholics in effigy

    Oi Starfire where you bin son?

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  95. EDL involved in fifa poppy protest..
    *removes poppy, vows never to wear poppy again*
    ..sad ex-servicemen...

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  96. A poppy is neither religous nor political, so that's a bad call from RFifa.

    However, a player doing the sign of the cross as he enters/exits the field af play is a religous statement/gesture. Should these players be banned?

    Here's your can opener back Fifa, have fun with your open worm holding receptacle.

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  97. An asteroid 201,000 miles away? I'm not worried, most accidents happen within 3 miles of home.

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  98. that's right H, and all the "religious" tattoos have to be covered up.

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  99. RE, Spits Tevez article.

    Surely now enough is enoutgh?

    5 breaches of contract must be grounds to terminate said employment and sue?

    The PFA, FA, Fifa, whoever, must take a stand and an example should be made. His registration should be revoked so that he doesn't get the chance to continue his cuntish behaviour elsewhere.

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  100. Indeed Trott.

    A cover up should be no problem whatsoever for Blatter's boys.

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  101. If it were left to me I'd shoot the ugly fuck and his ilk in the face.


    not that you'd know if he's shot or not.


    He's been behaving like a thug innit?

    knows fully well he has a powerful union on his side and a club stands to lose millions by terminating his contract.

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  102. what a blithering idiot http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/496608_460s.jpg

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  103. I don't think that guy is playing on the same team as us, Spit.

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  104. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/15666769.stm

    Common sense at last.

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  105. "The move came after Prince William, Prime Minister David Cameron and ColchesterFC wrote to Fifa asking that England be allowed to wear shirts embroidered with poppies".

    I knew my email would make them change their minds.

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  106. @Robbo: "Then there’s his sudden deployment of the cornerstones of England’s ‘golden generation’ – your Neville, your Butt, your Becks, your Scholes, your – shit, I’ve come over all Lawrenson – who were way too young to win the title. Of course, put that lot in England shirts and they became a less precious metal – the leaden, tinpot generation"

    Those United lads did OK (excepting the younger Neville's giving away a crucial penalty) -- it was the rest of the England team that were utter shite. If that United team had been entirely made up of Englishmen, they could also have been the England team.
    ___________________________________
    I am not Anonymous -- I am Profile

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  107. BojanglesOfOz said... "This kid has to have her mother singing in the background... no way that voice is coming from her ten year old frame."

    Maybe she had her periods too damn early just like poor little Lena Zavaroni
    ___________________________________
    I am not Anonymous -- I am Profile

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  108. Who would want to take on Tevez next? He's proving himself to be unemployable. I thought Adebeyor was the biggest dickhead playing in the PL, Tevez is giving him a good run at the moment. Citeh sure know how to pick 'em.

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  109. It was probably just all a "misunderstanding" Bo. As in that prick misunderstood when they offered him £250k a week to play football and he thought they meant £250k a week to do whatever the fuck he wants.

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  110. The FA obviously consult this blog for their policy direction.

    Tevez should never be allowed to play in the PL ever again.

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  111. Re the poppy fiasco
    Not sure I agree with all the clamour etc,and also the response ferom the cnuts at FIFA

    but why has this only arisen this year and not in previous years?

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  112. You are right Col. It seems that Citeh have misunderstood his latest escapade too... they thought he was supposed to be at training rather than on holidays in the middle of the football season (which is no doubt what you were referring to). If they have any sense they will do as they have the right to do... kick him out of Main Road and hold onto his registration papers while at the same time sueing his Argentinian ass for breach of contract.

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  113. Are these scientists taking the piss?


    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-15636544

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  114. Seems like they are pissing in the wind to me Tone.

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  115. Obviously looking for a government grant mate.

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  116. BojanglesOfOz said...
    You are right Col. It seems that Citeh have misunderstood his latest escapade too... they thought he was supposed to be at training rather than on holidays in the middle of the football season
    -----------------------------------------

    He wasn't on holiday Bo, he was "visiting his family". Now last week according to his "advisor" when he was whoring him around for a move to another Premier League club........

    "Tevez’s advisor, Kia Joorabchian, said the 27-year-old would welcome a move elsewhere in the Premier League. His family are now living in England, so he’s quite happy and settled,” said Joorabchian.

    You can't have it both ways Carlos.

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  117. Well spotted Col... or should I say remembered... I read that last week myself but had forgotten about it... the joys of getting old.

    Carlos doesn't want it both ways mate... just his way.

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  118. BojanglesOfOz said...

    If they have any sense they will do as they have the right to do... kick him out of Main Road and hold onto his registration papers while at the same time sueing his Argentinian ass for breach of contract.
    -----------------------------------------

    Nah Bo, they should leave him at Maine Road playing with himself, cos City play at the Etihad these days;)

    He's clearly given up on ever playing for City again, but his advisor obviously isn't advising him that he's doing his already poor reputation even more harm. Surprising really, cos his advisor will make a packet off any of his transfers, so you'd think even he would be telling him to knuckle down.

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  119. hold him down and tattoo a remembrance poppy on his forehead

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  120. doublechuckle on that one Blog.

    His advisor needs an advisor.

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  121. Kevin Grosskreutz... I can't find much out about him to enthuse over... any help there Spit?

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  122. Bo
    From what I've seen of him, he's forms the MF for Dortmund alongside Goetze and Bender, but IMHO these 2 are better.
    After a poor start as champions, BvB are starting to come good and are probalbly better than the Munchners at the mo, they whacked Umbrella mans old team 5-1 last weekend.

    there seems to be lots of rumours in the German press about all 3, obviously all denied by the club bosses, I could possibly see one going, but which one?

    Wot say you Spit from the South

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  123. From what I have seen of Grosskreuz (great cross) is that he's a good old school winger. tall and quick.

    cant really compare him to Götze, who is a far more 'technical' player and wouldnt have any problems adjusting in the Arsenal midfield. Götze also plays a more central role and keeps changing his position on the wings/ through the centre.

    Would love to have Götze or his team mate Kagawa but perhaps Wenger is planning for a life without Rosicky & Arshavin who might both leave in summer but Götze will be expensive. Perhaps too expensive for Arsenal.

    btw. the reason Dortmund can make up lost ground on bayern might have something to do with Schweinsteiger being out injured. Gomez however just cant stop scoring.

    19 goals for the season already.

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  124. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/15668207.stm

    ---

    not that he got any credit when Newcastle are flying high but Mike Ashley has ensured to get all the blame as soon as they put two losses together.

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  125. not that we have settled the old jaffa cake, cake or biscuit conundrum but what is this?

    http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/466537_460s_v1.jpg

    a cake or a pi?

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  126. As long as it is accompanied with ice cream and jelly I don't mind either way Spits.

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  127. Apparently, Capello's son is glad papa isnt showing up for the wedding. He'd have insisted that he marry the village slag because she has loads of experience, leadership and commitment.

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  128. There you go Robbo, Mike Ashley has granted your wish to have a go at Newcastle by renaming the ST James Park The Sports Direct Arena, Just when everything was going so well on the pitch, he has to come up with another stunt to put himself back in the news.

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  129. Dont hink it will matter Kermit.

    he's maximised his assets while knowing fully well all people (fans, locals) will always refer to it as the St. James Park.

    Sky however, will let oyu know fully well that its now called the Sports Direct Arena.

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  130. Blackburn's former Barcelona forward Ruben Rochina, 20, claims swapping the Nou Camp for Ewood Park has made him a better player.

    ---

    well dah!

    I'd be considered a better player if I were to join black burn rovers.

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  131. Liverpool are being linked with Spanish striker David Villa .
    ---------

    WTF? Where did that come from? Has Roman tabled a 50 mil offer for Carroll now ? Thats 7 seasons in a row now that Liverpool have almost bought DV.

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  132. Anyone else watching the South Africa v Australia test match?

    Aus 1st Innings - 284 all out
    SA 1st Innings - 96 all out
    Aus 2nd Innings - 21 for 9 at the minute.

    Lowest ever score in test cricket is 26 by New Zealand in 1955. Could be a new record. Seems like both sides are trying their best to lose the game. If it was Pakistan v India i'd be looking at the betting patterns.

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  133. Dammit. They managed to get to 47 all out.

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  134. Obviously a flat track out there.

    Can't stand either side,can they both lose?

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  135. Kermit.

    I think Ashley's doing the right thing (never thought I'd type that) by maximising revenue with the stadium name.

    I understand that St James' Park has the history etc, etc, but as Spit pointed out, the fans will still call it SJP. A point in case is Arsenal's stadium, on Sky etc, it's the Emirates, but to most fans I know it's the (Ashburton) Grove.

    Arsenal's previous home turf was always refered to as Highbury, but that was just the name of the area it was in, the ground itself was actualy called The Arsenal Stadium.

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  136. Birmingham want to take Newcastle striker Nile Ranger, 20, on loan.
    Full story: Daily Mirror
    ===
    The Loan Ranger???

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  137. Like the quote from young Sammi, played his first and last game at SJP

    think the renamimg will backfire on fatboy Ashley

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  138. Genius H, highly chucklesome.

    Steve Kean a new contract? Has he got pictures of somebody choking a chicken?

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  139. That wouldnt be good enough to explain the new contract Trotts. He probably has pictures of them doing something else to the chickens.

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  140. Loan ranger...pure awesomeness H, you really keep them coming dont you.

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  141. Having discussed with Mrs Jack (Newcastle fan) the name change of St James' Park,she's a bit narked over it.But as she rightly points out it'll only be sky sports that call it that.Everyone else will still call it SJP.None of the Man City fans that come in here call the ground the Etihad,it's always Eastlands.If it brings in £10m a year to the club good for them.

    I suspect there is an element of "Big Club itis" to Newcastle.They like to think of themselves as a "Big" club (in truth there's only Un**ed,Liverpool and at a push Arsenal that are "big" clubs).Fans have to stop thinking they are entitled to certain things.Just because you live in a big city doesn't give you the right to have a trophy winning football side.The nature of the game changed a long time ago.The days of Ipswich,Forest,Watford etc challenging for the league has long gone.

    In short take the money,stop bleedin moaning and enjoy the fact that Pardew has got you off to such a good start.

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  142. In other sporting news the host of the 2017 World Athletics championships is announced today.It's either London or Doha.

    We'll see if IAAF is as bent as FIFA today.The average August temp in Doha is 105.3 F.Great for running a marathon in.I suspect if Doha gets it then we might as well forget any chance of seeing the football wc ever again over here unless we seriously up the brown envelope amounts.

    Maybe that's the answer.Put Fat Sam and Bent 'Arry in charge of all future wc bids.

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  143. Right,that's a couple of serious (ish) posts done.

    Back to pies and knob gags?

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  144. Jacks,

    I am not personally bothered what the ground is called it will always be SJP to me, they may as well call it the Durex Stadium for all the knobs we have in the squad in the past.

    H2H,

    I do hope they do send Ranger out on loan as the way he is going at the minute he is doing a great job of pissing his carrer downt he drain.

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  145. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15671943

    --

    well some times the BBC does produce stuff that justifies the blinking license fee.

    Not that I pay it anymore.

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  146. I grew up not too far away from there Spits.Lovely village.

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  147. I saw that story, jacks - its david the oil billionaire vs goliath the historically entitled imperialist again, ridiculous, absurd, probably corrupt, definitley comical. Is no one else bidding for these things any more except us and them?

    qatar now has the 2022 world cup and is bidding for 2017 athletics AND the olympics in 2020 - which is why they dont like the idea of a deal which would give the UK the 2017 athletics and them the 2019 as they think this would prejudice the olympics bid.

    All despite furnace-like temperatures and zero history of sport, in fact, zero history, in 1900, dohar was a fishing village of 12,000 people.

    Ah for the good old days...

    "the small size of the place didn't stop it from being bombarded by the British vessel Vestal in 1821, after the city had been deemed to have broken a general treaty of peace. They were bombed again in 1841 after Al-Suwaidi, the Sudanese chief who then ruled Al Bidda, was accused of habouring an outlaw ..."

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  148. ironic name of that village, spit.

    in the village i live in near colchester, i try, boys football permitting, to attend the memorial service.

    they read out the names of the men who died and there's a chilling moment when the names of three brothers are read out...

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  149. ..not such good old days after all

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  150. Frank Lampard on Spain: "We're aware of the individuals they've got, the Xavis and the Iniestas. It's important we get to grips with them and imprint our game on them. We have to play to our strengths."
    ==============================================

    We're fucked then.

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  151. On the previous blog Noel said...
    Fabio will probably play Phil Jones out of position at right back ahead of any actual right backs as well.
    -------------------------------------

    What a ridiculous suggestion Noel. Fabio wouldn't play him out of position at right back.

    He's going to play him in midfield instead.

    "Capello confirmed that Phil Jones will start in midfield but refused to reveal any more details about the side he will field against world champions Spain".

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  152. I think he'd make a good goalie, colch.

    And Joe Cole for PM!

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  153. eh up lads. This whole SJP thing makes sense now. FIFA regulations probably won't let a club have a stadium named after a Saint so this renaming was all done in readiness for your champs league campaign next season. Good luck.

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  154. I've been given a sneak preview at Capello's team sheet for tomorrow and England's team for the game against Spain.........

    1. A Cole
    2. Lampard 4. Defoe 6. Barry 3. Hart
    7. Jones 8. Jagielka 5. Bent 11. Welbeck
    9. G Johnson 10. Baines

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  155. what a relief, thank fuck Glenn Johnson isn't playing right back.

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  156. It's not going to matter much who plays where. We'll probably only touch the ball about 8 times in the whole game. 4 of those will be the keeper picking it out of the back of the net and the other 4 will be a defender hoofing it hopefully forwards.

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  157. Capello should go to his son's wedding. In fact, the team should go with him.

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  158. the line up would be exactly how its put out once the ball is pinged though the mid and the defence.

    I'll be watching turkey vs. Croatia then. Two exciting teams imho with a plac eat euro2012 at stake.

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  159. Whats that Spit? Croatia eat turkey steak at euro 2012 ?

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  160. You can watch both Spit. Turkey v Croatia is tonight. England losing to Spain is tomorrow.

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  161. haha...nice one Spit.
    I wonder if the Eng v Spain game makes it to Fox Soccer Plus in the US.

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  162. you are right colch, but I am not sure I'd be ready to give a crap for a team that still has Terry in the squad, ready to pounce in case anyo of the the other defenders has to pull out.

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  163. After consulting with Mrs PSB (Sunderland fan) she thinks its absolutely hilarious that SJP will called the Sports Direct stadium but also points out that withough Mr Ashley NUFC would have gone into administration and likely now be in League 1 like the Sheffield clubs

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  164. You mean you are not going to watch that blockbuster of a game, Cyprus v Scotland Spit.

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  165. so we got the athleticzzzzzzzzzz

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  166. I think well beat spain, personally, they're ageing overrated and little teeny tiny circus dwarves managed by a mesmerising wizard with mind control powers well snap out of it England....

    Elves have left the building

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  167. Fabio Capello says England are no longer a major power in world football: That time is past

    nice one crappello.

    English players play in mental shackles, they've got quality they show that at club level but well never win anything with this twat he doesn't even think its possible

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  168. the only thing that keeps this fucking shambles of a fucking country together is shared delusion so how fucking DARE this Italian cunt come here like an armani undertaker, with his lantern jaw and cosa nostra scowl and tell us the fucking truth? Wanker.

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  169. For a while I thought crappello looked like doing the right thing having tried everything else, but he's too old to change

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  170. okay, turkey good as gone, losing 0-3 at home at the mo, and that means Hiddink is free to ruin another team...England maybe??
    FA jokers must be rubbing their hands with glee...

    --BeeZee

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  171. That comment on shared delusion is very interesting Blog, well deserving of an entire Blog.

    Anyway, of course we'll win tomorrow, it's only fucking Spain.

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  172. agree blog.

    last thing you want is truth.

    Obviously, why would you appoint someone the captain of the ship who does not think its can be saved?

    Its like you'd elect a Prime Minister who'd tell you how shite your country is and its not worth living in anymore...

    Oh.

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  173. Capello can hardley say anything else can he, otherwise he's admitting he's a shit manager and even Roy Ke**e wont admit to that truth. The thing is he's only saying what most of have known for a number of decades, we just don't want to face up to it.

    As you say Blog, we are a delusional mob that still want to believe we are leaders in the world... and not only in football either... but lets not go there.

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  174. Absolutely no interest in tonight's game from my customers point of view.I must admit I'm not overly fussed either.

    FA Cup 1st round today.Couple of my Millers fans off to Barrow for their banana skin game.

    Good luck to Rotherham,Vale,Aldershot,Orient and The Gills.

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  175. Cheers jacks good luck to the tractor bous n'all

    as for England, I expect well lose but not as arse covering crappello would have it because were innately shit or past it but because hes past it and doesn't trust youth. sturridge Richards won't play...fat frank wouldn't be playing if wilsher, were fit ...the futures golden, brethren, Spain and Italy will be third world countries in a few years time so there's two fewer competitors

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  176. To be replaced by various others Blogs.Until we get our house in order throughout the leagues and promote young English talent,instead of buying up foreign players we'll get nowhere other than the group stages,if we're lucky of EC and WC.

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  177. Agreed jacks, but there's something wrong when del boy bosque has to stick up for English players...this from the Sun (slightly edited ...)

    Knobhead Eyetie Fabio Crapello is ready to write off his England team as a world force.
    But Spain boss Del Bosque insisted: "England have a great team, with pace and power.
    "It will be a big challenge playing against a good England side.
    "Spain are enjoying a good period of form and success, but the differences between us are not that large. Pity you've got such a shit manager."

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  178. thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3931077/Carlos-Tevez-AWOL-Help-find-missing-Manchester-City-star.html


    heh heh find Awol-ly

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  179. I don't blame Capello.It's not his fault the players we have can trap a ball further than they I can kick it.Until a big club goes bang and some reality comes back to finances within the game (only Wolves are in the black in the Prem.If I ran my business like the rest do I'd be in the shit) combined with serious coaching reform we're knackered.

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  180. * Further than I can kick it....spoils the gag somewhat.

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  181. This debate seems to come up every time England play. The thing is, we need to start realising that we are shit at the game instead of thinking that the latest crop of talent is going to take us to the top (again??). We have failed to keep pace with the rest of the footballing world because we still think (because we invented the game) that the other nations need to keep pace with us. While kids in other countries were learning footballing techniques, we were teaching our kids how to hoof a ball into the stands.

    Most of the bigger football nations, even some of the smaller ones, like Australia, realised the importance of youth championships for the development of young players... we didn't bother sending the kids into these until just a few short years back... they were just another pain in the arse to football clubs that had these young players on their books.

    Until there is a complete shake up of the way football is managed in England things will remain as they are and people will be having this same debate long after I have shuffled off this mortal coil.

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  182. its the coaches silly. Thousands and thousands more coaches for kids that improve an overall standard of game, fitness and general development.

    the fault is definitely not with PL alone.

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  183. Indeed it isn't Spits,as I said serious reorganisation of coaching in this country is needed.

    Or let Theresa May allow plenty of Germans/Spanish/Dutch in only if they take British Citizenship.

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  184. Talking of shit, looks like 'Arry's in it

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-15696942

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  185. Good,bent as a nine bob note.

    Rumours that Sam Allardyce was last seen heading for Heathrow carrying a heavy suitcase have been deied by West Ham.

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  186. Bo it does come up every time England play but now it comes up before we play before we've even lost yet

    It's a legacy of the unignorable shitness of our performance of our team at the last wc. You've got to believe were better than that

    I'm 100% co.fident well win this pm

    2-1

    Get in!

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  187. As for the shake up in coaching unhappily I have to report its happened and its still pants .. blogdignag jnr is with a pro club and I don't think I can stand the joyless incessant pseudo barca keep-ball coaching for much longer. ... I'm seriously nostalgic for Norman hunteresque blood and thunder at least Old Football had passion

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  188. Thanks for the banana skin, Jacks,
    Millers happily obliging 0-1

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  189. Don't blame me Tony.I'm merely passing on the collective opinion of my 2 Millers.

    I may have to ring Samaritans for them though.

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  190. http://twitpic.com/7dh1s2

    A fine example of a newspaper headline at it's best.

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  191. Rotherham score 2 late goals Tony.

    Thank God for that,The Samaritans were engaged.

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