Sunday, 18 December 2011

LANCASHIRE HOTCH-POTCH

First of all apologies for the chasm of time it’s taken to get a new blog out. There are reasons for this. First, the computer got a virus. Second it passed it on to me. To be honest I haven’t quite got rid of the damn vyyv£"""£%^&&&*$E^E£&I *R yet

Of course, football has been idling along without me, not least in terms of two draws for European competition which seemed to be a response to a Cameron veto. Take that you smooth-browed quasi-Christian right-wing toff!

Cameron doing a sly 'wanker' gesture in the direction of France

Chelsea and Arsenal get the toughest fixtures possible. And Stoke, United and City pretty much match that in the Europa League. After the next rounds of both we could have no interest in what Europe does whatsoever and turn into a strange nation of hermits gathering on street-corners and buffing up our last pound coins while William Hague pads about in that baseball cap saying ‘I told you so!’

Of course fans of the Manchester clubs are managing to make upbeat noises about the Europa League now there in that particular kettle of fish. You’re not kidding anyone. Harry Redknapp may not have enjoyed the Shamrocking he got in Dublin but I dare say he doesn’t give a dry shit about not having to pop onto a plane every other Thursday morning.

Such is City’s strength in depth that they won’t mind having a little sideline to give their millionaire third-teamers a little run-out. United won’t last long given that injuries and illnesses have left Fergie’s cupboard looking barer than Carlos Tevez’s bookshelves.

To Stoke City, revived under Tony Pulis, the Valencia double-header will be immense fun. AS a Boro fan who watched awestruck as we marched to the final a while back, I have to say that the Europa League’s only raison d’etre is to give fans of the smaller clubs a little bit of the limelight. (Nevertheless it’s such a bloated, lifeless crock of crap for most of its duration that metaphorically it’s hard not to think of Robert Maxwell floating on the briny.)

I know scientists at CERN think they’ve found proof that the the so-called “God particle” exists, despite Jose Mourinho’s insistence that he is the Higgs Boson. But they’ve also isolated the gene for “no-nonsenseness” and it turns out Tony Pulis has no other genetic matter in his system.

Here's Pulis dressed like a twat - it's the only such picture ever taken.

Wenger and the increasingly fractious Andre Villas-Boas have trips to Milan and Naples. This means the Blue Bell will be running its ITV sweepstake for how many times Peter Drury uses the phrase ‘Italian Job’. Yawn. Personally I can’t see either of ‘em getting through. And I’m not bothered either.

There seems no doubt that if the draw keeps them apart then the final will be Real v Barca. And yeah, I’m sure they’ll be some nice stuff played n that, especially now Jose has let his team express itself a bit more, it is becoming a little too bleedin’ predictable for my liking. I mean I’m sure Sebastian Vettel’s a lovely man and an excellent driver but I don’t want to see him win every bloody race.

(Actually that’s a bad analogy cos I don’t want to watch F1 full stop and anyone who does should be taken out and shot in front of Jeremy Clarkson’s family.)

The gloryseekers abroad are as nothing compared to the burgeoning relegation dogfight that is already cranked up to breaking point this season.

Tuesday night is the must-see Lancashire Hotch-Potch derby: Blackburn Rovers v Bolton Wanderers. The two clubs have many things in common – geography, ineptitude... but more than that a couple of Scottish managers who are, regardless of circumstances, relentlessly positive.

If Steve Kean’s house caught fire he’d be happy that for at least one night the neighbours had saved on their heating bills. If Owen Coyle fell off a cliff he’d still be hoping to pick himself up and go again when he was halfway down.

I mean I’m no psychiatrist (and if you’re thinking you need one then I advise you to watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE ) but surely there comes a point when positivity in word but not in deed becomes a hollow joke.

Coyle at least has started to spread the blame amongst his players, but truth be told I’ve seen more creativity in an actuaries’ brainstorming session. No Holden, no Korean lad, no Elmander If Chris Eagles, worthy though he is, is your main spark then your matchbox is a bit on the damp side.

Steve Kean, meanwhile, has become pathologically upbeat, as if to admit for more than a second that second from bottom is pretty shit would mean the Lancastrian skies would come crashing down on top of him.

Hoillett apart there’s not much going for ‘em up front and Ryan Nelsen has been a huge miss. Scott Dann may have appeared a perfect match for Samba, but maybe he’s more ballroom and less Latin. Above all else you’d have thought that Formica would be good on the counter.

In the teeth of another gale of abuse from the Rovers faithless, it’s hard not to be impressed by the Kean’s fortitude. Blackburn have had a fair bit of misfortune and conceded a lot of late goals. I seem to remember that Boro would’ve stayed up not so long ago if football matches were 80 minutes long.

"Och we've just let in another but it only meks me more positive!"

Nevertheless you do get the impression that Kean’s position is secure only cos it would cost the Venky’s owners too much to sack him. And while he’s a focus for the fans’ ire, the poultry pedlars can hide behind him and use him, in a phrase once uttered by Lord Brown to describe his role as head of BP, as a ‘shit umbrella’.

Personally I think a shit umbrella is one with loads of holes in it. Which is a good way to describe the defences of both Bolton and Blackburn. One of em’s doomed. And the other’s not safe. It’ll be a superb, terrible football match. A reet old classico.

203 comments:

  1. Happy Xmas Robbo thanks for all the laughs and strangely thought provoking instances of unaccountably obscure sporting blog genius this year

    Were all in your debt and as the Good book says thou shalt get thy just reward

    However the good book also says the following...

    2 Kings 2:23-24
    Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the LORD. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.
    Deuteronomy 23:1
    No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
    Ezekiel 23:19-20
    Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.

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  2. Pity the police didn't have those two bears on duty during this years annual summer riots

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  3. Here's Tony Blair gesticulating to the French camera man
    http://jeroenarendsen.nl/2007/03/young-blairs-wanker-gesture-cover-up/

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  4. Jean can't believe he's blagged a premiership job especially as his application was filled in in crayon and just said

    I IS FRA GLASGEE

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  5. Jean? The Frenchman? His application was filled in in disdainful elegance and just said...

    Relegation, boof! im-poss-eeble! Look at Bolton across ze canal, he is even more of heap of Merde zan us!

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  6. Anyone watch the killing.g last night (i don't mean vale vs shots) I could hardly breathe by the end of episode 9...

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  7. great stuff Robbo, formica on the counter! The losing manager on Tuesday should do the decent thing and resign.

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  8. Fuck...unless silva, RvP and Aguero get no more than 2 points along with adebayor and walker getting 2nd half red cards, my FFL unbeaten run comes a cropper against both Noel and Jacks.

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  9. How are man city doing vs their feeder club?

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  10. Thats how you keep RvP from scoring, keep Theo out of the game.

    City have quality accross the team, something Arsenal are lacking in.

    The team spirit is something to take heart from. They dont simply whilt off like the last couple of years.

    All in all, was hoping for a draw really.

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  11. Good blog Robbo.

    Somehow a Christian Dave at concerns me more than a bunch of mullahs in a far off land.

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  12. Oh and Bolton are looking dead.

    Perhaps a couple of loan players willing to break into their own club teams would help get the team going but it does look bleak, dont it?

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  13. it's always bleakest before the dawn, Spitster!

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  14. prospects for lampard are looking bleakly

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  15. Just before dawn and yep its looking bleak.

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  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  17. Just how Steve Kean outlasted Steve Bruce this season is a mystery. I think it owes more to the incompentence of the chicken farmers then any sort of ability on Kean's part. I'd like to get in there before Lawro does and declare the game this week 'a real 6-pointer'.

    Nice of Phil McNulty to keep a lid on things over on the Beeb - his latest blog entitled 'Phil Jones - Destined for Greatness' then goes on to compare him to Franco Baresi, Fernando Hierro, a young Roy Keane, Beckenbauer etc etc. Personally, I thought he was poor in defence, and looks average in an average midfield.

    I think I've narrowly beaten you this week, AH. But Tone has put an end to my unbeaten run over in Jack's H2H. A pretty low scoring weekend all round by the looks of things.

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  18. I'm not too sure Blackburn will survive,but the other Lancashire clubs will be OK.The promoted teams are following the usual pattern.Reasonable start,followed by dropping like a stone.

    Trotts lot will be OK.Looks bad now,but you'll finish above Norwich,Swansea and Blackburn.

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  19. As much as Kean should take responsibility for their position, I think Blackburn are a pretty rubbish team and have been for the past 2 years or so. Bring any manager in and they'd probably get relegated. Bring in Shearer and they definitely will get relegated.

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  20. Shearer would only come in for the last 5 games rod so as to take the glory if the players pull it out of the fire but with sufficient deniability if they fail

    Bolton will survive due ALONE to the gravity defying optimism if our own stateside trotter.... the optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, the bolton fan eat it.

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  21. Scott Dann sidelined for six weeks with ruptured testicle as Blackburn prepare for battle of basement with Bolton

    As Ezekiel would say (23.19-20): that's a kick in the gonads for Steve jeans hopes

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  22. Runaway cart leaves seven injured at American football game

    Puts me in mind of the great runaway trolley with the wonky wheel disaster in Milton keynes sainsburys, 1987

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  23. From next season, Rotherham United will play at the New York Stadium. In Rotherham.

    Cant accuse 'em of lack of humour

    http://www.themillers.co.uk/page/NewStadium/0,,10360~2552339,00.html

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  24. a ruptured bollock? That's unfortunate timing, what with Christmas and New Year just around the corner and all those parties. Poor lad.

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  25. World Cup Final referee and Rotherham United Honorary Ambassador Howard Webb was given the honour of revealing the name for new stadium,

    __________________________________________

    Presumably The Chuckle Brothers were busy Tony.

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  26. "the optimist sees the doughnut the pessimist sees the hole"...

    genius. thank you

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  27. Hey Blog, any idea why Port Vale were booing our very own version of SWP Jermaine McGlashan on Sat? He reckons they always give him abuse lol

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  28. "Above all else you’d have thought that Formica would be good on the counter."

    Class.

    =======

    AS for the European draws, Stoke got a toughie against Valencia, Citeh should have more then enough in the reserves to beat Porto and if Man U can't take on one of the weakest Ajax sides in years, then Fergy has more then just injury problems.

    AC Milan were the team in pot 2 that eveybody wanted to avoid, that said, Arsenal have an excellent record against Serie A opposition. I think Chelsea should see off Napoli too, I saw yesterdays home game against Roma last night, Roma running out comfortable winners (1-3)

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  29. "Let's take as many as we can and show them what a proper English club is like when their supporters travel."

    Tony Pulis.

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  30. The New York Stadium, well I never, unfortunately couldnt get over for the unveiling,
    and yes it is true(I remember looking at an old map) there was an area called New York,renamed after we had kicked the Dutch out of S Yorks

    So can look forward to Millers v Cosmos pre-season

    Mind you one stand will be named the Pukka Pie stand

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  31. Sorry about that Noel, I'd just lost 2 weeks on the bounce(4matches)
    Bo(twice)Spit and H2H

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  32. Now that you've won one tony, no need go overboard and beat me this week.

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  33. No worries Tone. I get the chance of revenge this week over in Robbo's H2H. Hopefully you won't take my other undefeated record as well. I like your 5-2-3 formation as well!

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  34. Oh I also read the home end at the NY stadium will be known by the fans as the Bronx

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  35. The funniest thing you'd possibly read all day.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/2641675.stm

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  36. Listed at the bottom of that article is Andy Awford,who played for Portsmouth.I was at school with him.Miles better than anyone at that age.

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  37. Great article that Spit. My favourite quote has to be 'the maverick David Dunn'. Maverick? David Dunn? As in this guy?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4fsLeCjB4s

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  38. Noel the article is comedy gold

    ...

    A brace by 19-year-old Michael Tonge against Liverpool on Wednesday, while 20-year-old Neil Mellor was scoring at the other end, added two more names to this term's astounding production line of promise.

    And future England manager Alan Shearer must be rubbing his sensible hands together in glee at the pot of gold maturing before his very eyes.
    ...

    WHAT?

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  39. nOpe this is funnier

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/a/arsenal/2146341.stm

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  40. This is funniest Adam.

    Manchester Un**ed 1 Manchester City 6

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  41. Currently watching Piers "Morgan" Moron squirming in front of the Leveson Inquiry.

    That IS comedy gold.

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  42. Hello Adam,

    hows life like in the Europa League then?

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  43. Blogs.

    VALE!!!

    http://www.wsc.co.uk/content/view/8095/38/

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  44. Funny =

    http://www.101greatgoals.com/gvideos/better-quality-vid-the-reverse-scorpion-kick-own-goal-festus-baise-sun-hei-v-citizen-aa/

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  45. What'd you know. FA does have balls. Suarez banned for 8 games. If Kenny Daglish continues to be a git & defend him, ban him too

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/16186556.stm

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  46. And Bolton leading to a fine goal...

    Come on ye trotters.

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  47. fuckin' forgot to change my team in the FFl. Two injured with a bunch sqaring up against each other when I had 2 free transfers available.

    bollox

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  48. that's enough, blow the fuckin' whistle and turn the lights out.

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  49. trott,

    steve teane would certainly hope for that.

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  50. it could get worse for Stevie. Everytime we win we score at least 3. Then again, we could still blow it, stranger things have happened. That would boost Kean's job prospects considerably.

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  51. "Blackburn midfielder Mauro Formica is booked for a crude challenge on the touchline."

    He'll be hauled over the table tomorrow eh Robbo!

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  52. Yikes. squeaky bum time.

    1:2

    off side?

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  53. cool heads will prevail. Fetch the ice pack Agnes.

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  54. Robinson should have been sent off and Blackburn be awarded a penalty... whatever

    Perhaps the owners and the booing fans will get what they deserve.

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  55. and to think Arsenal lost to Blackburn early on...

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  56. Suarez being banned 8 games (will probably be reduced on appeal) is probably a blessing in disguise. It probably needed something this drastic to force buying a real striker in January. Having done my research (on the FFL website) I see all of liverpool fc is racist. We do not have one black footy player in our PL squad of 25. We also dont have anyone capable of a tap in, but thats another story.

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  57. 8 match ban, can't say I'm surprised my opinion of him is well documented, terrific talent, but....

    A real blow to L'pools top 4 chances.
    ==

    What will be interesting though is to see what kind of punishment JT will get.

    Has a precident been set or will the be one ruling for the foriegners and another for the (not that kind of lad) Ingerland regulars?

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  58. Well if I have my schedules right of the 8 matches, 2 are carling semis and 1 is FA cup, so thats 5 matches, which will hopefully be reduced to 3-4 on appeal. Still a massive blow, but by the time we appeal and the verdict delivered, gives us some chance of buying a decent forward in January. Let's see. If our hopes depend on 1 guy only, then we're in trouble anyway. C'mon you Reds!

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  59. Well personally I'm gutted about Suarez.

    Gutted that we sold Wickham in the summer that is.

    We could have got £30m for him now.

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  60. Couple of things: Suarez is well known as a good player but a nasty little tw*t as a human being (John Terry, in contrast, is not little). The word he used, in South America, can be "matey" if used to a friend in the right way, but that ain't going to be a Liverpool v Manyoo match.

    Feel really sorry for Steve Kean. Seems like a decent bloke, stuck between a rock and a hard place. No one in their right mind would manage Blackburn with the current owners (it seems Venkys didn't even know Blackburn could be relegated when they bought the club, which is staggering incompetence). Blackburn fans: Steve Kean is what you're stuck with: Mark Hughes is almost as fanciful as Ronaldinho. The real problem is not the manager (OK, he's not very good). It's the owners. These guys make the Glazers look good. Hell, they even almost manage to make Hicks and Gillett look good (almost: no one could actually do that).


    Jedi

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  61. Suarez got what he deserved .. he played nasty little game of deniability..."in Uruguay eet mean friend" but did so knowing evra was taking it in its racist context ....he could see evras reaction, that's why he said it repeatedly, to wind him up, to gain an advantage. So he played a semantic game and lost. Chew on the consequences you greasy spock (me and my star trek loving mates call each other that playfully)
    I'm also amused at Liverpools panicked reaction...oh my god now we have to play the £35 million stand in.

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  62. Death ... no idea yet they boo him mate, he's only played them twice

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  63. Jacks...the protests have become part of club culture as has having conniving assholes in the boardroom

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  64. No excuses for the little twat, hope the big twat gets something similar

    Wierd, would you want a job, where everybody around you wants you to fuck off, and your only so-called friends are watching on a screen in Battery farm 1000000000 miles away

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  65. Returning later to the Motherland from the Vaterland once I find my passport

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  66. AH,

    that is curious isnt it, that Liverpool dont have an yblack player (there is glen johnson but he's hardly a football player and only half black)

    Is it something to do with Daglish or is it just a coincidence?

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  67. wayne Rooney has paid a 100K pound for a horse.

    Horse? might have misheard on the phone.

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  68. He got a whore for his wife as well, fair exchange

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  69. Mrs Jack was very pleased when I told her I was looking at cheap flights on the internet.Strange as she's never shown an interest in darts

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  70. A new survey reveals 83% of Manchester men have had sex in the shower.The other 17% have yet to go to prison.

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  71. They don't know what to do with it, spit. They're untouchable by concepts such as honour or justice ... how fucking quaint do those two words sound .... generally we're starting to see medieval disparities of wealth justified in the name of freedom of trade, freedom to exploit more like....but its most noticeable in football because we care about it... the bankers have got away with legal larceny for centuries because they bore us but its the same shameless greed really. You've got to hand it to Wayne bridge he's not even pretending he wants to even play football for his money.

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  72. Happy Xmas Wayne enjoy your Whore horse and xbox its not your fault.

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  73. What would you Do with 8 week off? Suarez plans to spend the time eating apples through his tennis racket. At chelsea, john terrys team mates are getting nervous...

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  74. Congrats on last nights victory Trott.

    CL place almost guarenteed.

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  75. that's it H, we'll follow the Gooners up the table now. Not too bothered about Champs League this season though top 5 would be nice.

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  76. Trott, 5th place already reserved. For the Gooners.

    Jedi

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  77. Ha ha

    Got to love that shadow dwelling Spud sence of humour, delusional overspender syndrom mixed in with a bit of vertigo.

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  78. Blackburn's owners are bidding to bring back Mark Hughes as manager - and tempt him with a massive bonus to keep Rovers in the Premier League.
    Full story: Daily Mirror
    ====
    All the chicken wings he can eat. (That's why they're not after Steve Bruce)

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  79. Jedi, alright, I'm easily pleased, we'll be happy with 17th.

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  80. I heard they're bringing in colonel Saunders, H

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  81. I'll be happy with 4th.

    Division.

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  82. Colchester united have agreed to announce crowd changes just before kick off

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  83. blogdignag said...
    I heard they're bringing in colonel Saunders, H
    ===

    No that can't be right, They're looking for a manager for Blackburn Rovers FC, he's already got KFC.

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  84. Wenger: "Tonight, very unusually for us we scored from two set-pieces, that is basically historical!"

    ---

    how the hell did he manage to make it sound like it was a bad thing?

    Count your blessings you nut.

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  85. It's heating up down in the little part of the world that I call home:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/southamerica/falklandislands/8970880/Nuclear-submarine-should-be-sent-to-Falklands-to-show-British-anger-at-boat-ban-decision.html

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  86. I realise that Suarez is Liverpool's best player, but it's not as if he's been banging in the goals is it? Maybe they'll benefit from not suiting their game to him, and playing a different style. I thought the team and manager wearing Suarez t-shirts tonight was a bit weird. But it's the kind of stunt I've come to expect from Kenny this season.

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  87. Noel,

    people seem to have forgotten that Daglish has always been a bit of a twat as a manager.

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  88. And well done to Trotts' lot for the other night. I hope they kick on from here. There's worse teams than Bolton in the league this season, so they should be safe.

    Although, having said that, their problems started after the semi final loss to Stoke last year. Spurs went on a similar run after winning the Carling Cup a few seasons ago. Only won a handful of games in the rest of that season and won 1 of the first 11 games in the next season I think and Ramos couldn't sort it out. Changing manager was the only way to get out of that slump.

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  89. Yeah Spit, I commented a few weeks ago that I hadn't really experienced him as a manager before - I was too young when he was at Newcastle and Blackburn to really notice. Jack pointed out that he's always been this way. He gives Fergie a run for his money in the 'ignorant cunt' stakes.

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  90. Just reading the team news for the Spurs game tomorrow - Bale, Lennon out, Adebayor doubtful. Fucks' sake. I was hoping for a win, but a draw will do. Looks like Pavyluchenko will get a run out and probably Kranckjar or Pienaar. Injuries starting to mount up for us.

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  91. Bale out will also fuck up my ffl team even further after it was hampered by me forgetting to fix it up for the game week.

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  92. Excellent week FFL wise. Back to my winning ways in both H2Hs against tony and baggie mike. With Bale and Mata yet to play, and if Bale doesnt play tomorrow, welbeck off the bench with 6 more points.

    Noel, you're right about suarez. He's scored 1 in the last 8, however he has 5 assists in that time and gets a few penalties/freekicks at every game. I think this could really be a good thing for us as I mentioned earlier in that it might force the club to buy a real forward.

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  93. Liverpool FC supports racism.

    Get the unlimited edition T-shirts now available at all good KKK ralies.

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  94. It's close for me in the FFL - both my opposition teams are 8 points ahead with no players to come. I have Mata, Walker, VDV and Adebayor playing tonight. Surely they can muster 9 points between them? I need to get revenge on Tone.

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  95. A new survey reveals 83% of Manchester men have had sex in the shower.The other 17% have yet to go to prison.
    ========================================================

    Haha Nice one Jack.

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  96. Delusional, H2? No. Enjoying the opportunity to wind up Gooners is not delusional.

    If you want to know what "delusional" means, listen to your manager's press conferences. Especially when you lose.


    Jedi

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  97. Bloody Hell, being ambushed and struck down by AH & Noel in the FFL

    So I calculate
    Mata 2
    vdV 1(wont last 60 mins)
    Walker 1(Chelsea win)
    Ade the whore doesnt play(2 pts on the bench

    Therefore I WIN

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  98. So the "wee man" got what he deserved. Hopefully more wee bastards will get the same treatment. I hate sledgers. Heres a wee piece I'm dedicating to Luis..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWJyhPsZPPg&list=UUCYtK5ZmlKEVWLfRojCqIlQ&feature=plcp

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  99. Starfire seems to have left the building so heres my Cunts of the Year XI

    Grant Adam (rangers)

    A Cole ... terry(capt) ... Rio....titus bramble...

    Giggs...Lee cattermole...j.barton.....bellamy

    Suarez...Tevez

    Subs...rooney...bendtner....marlon king

    Manager ... Blatter
    Coach...peter storey

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  100. Not a bad team that. Interestingly as you can see from the find bench I had some difficult decisions to make selecting first XI striker Cunt of the Year, and to be fair rooney and Cole have had a quiet year and also bellamy, who hasnt been arrested since January, but those three are there honorifically. Marlon king, peter storey are life members in this team

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  101. You can vote for twittersprestiguous Cunt of the Year at http://www.shrubmonkey.com/component/content/article/36/1157-cunt-of-the-year-2011


    I didn't bother personally as "the cunt who nicked my bike" wasn't one of the nominees

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  102. You can view pictures of Derry people who park like cunts here - http://parklikeacuntinderry.tumblr.com/

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  103. Rod, I dont think suarez could be racist as his grandpa is black and hence he has some black blood running in him. He was obviously trying to wind up evra who took the opportunity to go complaining to the teacher like a little girl. Unfortunately for Suarez, he is reasonably cuntish most of the time and the FA wanted to press home a point to Blatter, and he got the book thrown at him. Interesting to see if the same fate befalls Terry. The only difference being of course that the chavs will benefit from him not playing.

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  104. I never said he was racist, I just said he got what he deserved. If I remember correctly Suarez tackled Evra and caught him on the knee for which he was lucky to get away with. Then afterwards Suarez was sledging him constantly (and in my opinion he was fully aware Evra was taking offence racially and continued doing it)looking for Evra to react and get sent off.

    Hes a class footballer but he brings with him a lot of the dark arts (or gamemanship) which we so readily and apparently proudly despise. I can't really understand how youse all feel 100% aggrieved with the FA yet 0% angry with Suarez.

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  105. rod,

    who are these 100% that are aggrieved with the FA?

    I've only seen support of the ban so far.

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  106. We're definitely pissed off with Suarez for the Fulham incident, as you dont show opposing fans that attitude no matter what they chant. As a millionaire footballer whose wages are paid for by similar fans, you take the abuse and carry on.

    Evra being a complete cunt himself, Suarez's actions (assuming at all times this was no more than a wind up job) dont draw our ire.

    All he has to do now is fly down to south africa and hug a black minister and all will be well i guess.

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  107. Ku Klux Kenny is massively over playing this and the owners need to step in for the image of the club...

    AH I just wonder what t-shirts your team will be,wearing next week? I think we've already had stevie me t-shirts, he punched my hand with his face ...

    How about Craig Charles? He couldn't be a rapist he thought shed said yes t-shirts?

    Or in the spirit of true Scouse solidarity, how about Adolf Hitler t-shirts, he couldn't be racist his grandad was Jewish ....Adolf Hitler had relatives in Liverpool -also called Hitler - and young adolf apparently visited the city (this sounds like a joke but its true)

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  108. Poor old Paddy Hitler had to change his name.

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  109. Spit I'm referring to all those racist pool fans haha.

    Anfield, I'm a United fan and Evra is one of my least liked players because I think hes a bit of a liability and hot headed at times. But in this instance he acted perfectly from what I've seen. He's done nothing wrong.

    In terms of Suarez, all he has to do is stop being a complete cunt and show us what hes really good at - playing football - and all will be forgiven. Same for Bellamy and Kuyt as well. What a complete cunt of a forward line your team has. Fucking hell!

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  110. again Rod,

    forgetting Rooney and Giggs perhaps? t

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  111. I wouldn't class Rooney in the same category because at the very least Rooney doesn't do the rotten sledging/gamesmanship that Suarez, Bellamy and Kuyt do. Hows Giggs a cunt?

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  112. Shitting on his brothers doorstep?

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  113. I'm only talking really about on the pitch, you know, during the game of football. Not socially. I'd say most footballers are dicks off the pitch. They're effectively big kids with millions in the bank.

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  114. Rod - so you're saying all footballers are basically cunts but some of them, ie mainly the ones who play for your team, stop being cunts when they play football? they're just part time cunts cured from cuntishness by the moral salvation of kicking a ball around?

    fuck me close the prisons just give them a ball for christsakes.

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  115. dont forget the ManU shirt blog, or they'd continue being cunts.

    thats no good.

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  116. Kuntish Klanfield Kopites have gotten the internet forums in full sving to get Luis Suarez voted best player of 2011. Shame? What shame?

    http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11096/7388855/Player-of-2011

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  117. to anyone who is still wondering about liverpool and racism (haven't read all of the above comments, some very funny ones tho guys!)- erm - the whole city has long been associated with gutter-level white power stuff for decades now... actually it's traditionally the blue half which was (..?) associated with the NF/BNP etc but the scouser who told me that was a ) a red and b) a self-confessed galloping racist. draw yer own, etc ;-)

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  118. Ah, it doesn't take youse too long to twist what I've said to avail your anti-Man U agenda does it?

    I said most footballers are probably cunts off the pitch, including Man U players. What I care about is how the game that I love is played ON the field.

    The English have a proud history of playing fair (its possibly why youse haven't been that successful come to think of it)and trying to beat the opposition fair and square. Its creeping more and more into the game but as far as I knew people here still dislike it.

    Therefore, subtly mouthing off to someone for 90 mins trying to get them sent off is a cuntish thing to do ON the pitch. And to all the Liverpool fans saying Terry should get the same punishment as Suarez, well he shouldn't because it wasn't the same thing. So there.

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  119. I mean we could stop at only discussing Suarez, how he may or not be a racist cunt but he deffo called Evra sumat racist and is therefore rightly been banned. perhaps extend the bashing to all those who are shamelessly defending him only because he's a good footballer. And spare me the bullshit of how Fans, managers & clubs ALWAYS stand behind their players. remember the 3rd/4th choice keeper that did summat idiotic during a tribute ceremony to hillsbrough victims? he got thrown out of the club faster than explosive shit hits the bog.

    but is there a need to drag the whole fan-groups, cities, countries with it? no.

    is it fun? yes.

    should we stop doint it? probably yes but then it wont be as much fun.

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  120. Rooney has never done gamesmanship Rod?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm5-zLu8S9U

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  121. And to all the Liverpool fans saying Terry should get the same punishment as Suarez, well he shouldn't because it wasn't the same thing. So there.

    _______________________________________

    There aren't degrees of racial abuse.It's something that shouldn't happen full stop.If Terry is found guilty he should get exactly the same punishment.

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  122. So, if I've got this straight, now I understand why Bolton are almost bottom of the Prem, it's because all the other teams are made up of cunts?

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  123. Exactly Trotts.

    Wouldn't have happened if you'd kept Sturridge on loan.

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  124. ok, so, we sign a few more cunts on loan in January and we'll rocket up the table, easy.

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  125. According to Joni Mitchell it's bad news for Dundee Utd fans. They paved Tannadice, put up a parking lot

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  126. Get Owen to ring Manchester and it's Bolton in the Champions League.

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  127. (we'll probably sign Rupert Murdoch)

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  128. At least you'd be on TV regularly.

    Either Sky Sports or the Leveson inquiry.

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  129. Moving aside from the racist issue for just a moment.

    Have you guys seen the kicking that the AZ keeper gave some half wit pitch invader last night? here

    The ref, to everyones surprise sent the keeper off, prompting his manager to pull all the players out and abandon the game.

    Later both clubs chairman made statements, but I'm not sure what the KNVB (Dutch FA) are planning to do, or what sanctions will be given.

    The red card has now been resinded.

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  130. AnfieldHopeful said...
    Rod, I dont think suarez could be racist as his grandpa is black and hence he has some black blood running in him.
    ===
    That doesn't mean a thing, ofcourse he can still be a racist.

    Proof in case.

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  131. Terry vs suarez and talking about cunts of the non genital paradise variety.... which we have been for a couple of weeks now....the insult which kicked off the terry racism debacle is the deeply SEXIST insult aimed at him by Anton ferdy...ok terry called him a cunt first , but then anton REDEFINED cunt in unambiguously negative therefore SEXIST terms ie he said "a cunt is someone who sleeps with his teammates girlfriend" and what seems to have happen ed is poor stupid terry faced with a SEXIST but quite witty response tried to respond in a similar vein but gormlessly blundered into racist territory ... "did I call you a black cunt?" or something similar.

    Is it the same as what was going on with suarez? I'm not sure. You could argue its s similar semantic ploy hinting at racism but with deniability "it means mate where I come" or with terry "i didn't say it, I was denying it" .

    Whatever the intentions, which may be similar, I think terry will get away with it because he can claim it was a genuine misunderstanding (and maybe it was, but I doubt it) much more convincingly than suarez could- he could see evras response and yet repeated the offending word.

    In short I think terrys deniability is stronger as it seems to be built in to what he actually said. I know this is splitting hairs and they're both cunts but I think terry will get away with it, sort of, its not a Ron atkinson moment. In terms of preserving his public standing, I don't think terrys got much of a reputation left to salvage anyways

    I would like to see Ferdinand charged with sexism, however, for utilizing a reference to female genitalia as synonymous with infidelity. Only a true cunt would do this. Allegedly.

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  132. Once again Terry has brought the game and himself into disrepute, I don't think he should be shown leniancy and to do so would make the FA look like they were dealing in double standards. Whats good for the goose, in this case Suarez, also has to be good for the gander, aka the FA cuckholder. The world (especially South America) will be watching!!!

    Liverpool have not drapped themselves in glory with their reaction to the ban. If Suarez had half a brain and had came out with something like; “I am so sorry, I did not understand how offensive this is here but I have now learned my lesson and I extend my sincerest apologies to Mr Evra etc etc etc” (even though he's been in Europe and the UK long enough to know better) and then just accepted the punishment.

    He probably would have been much less severely punished if he had actually apologized instead of trying to hide behind some very dubious claim of cultural differences.

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  133. Well, nice to see we have reached consensus on the whole racism debate involving suarez,evra,hitler, wayne bridge's ex, ron atkinson, the city of liverpool and the South American continent.
    Spit dont even suggest:
    -------------------------
    should we stop doint it?
    -------------------------
    No we shouldnt. I havent seen so much action on this blog in months.

    Now I wonder what Robbo's next blog will be focussed on ?

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  134. jacksofbuxton said...
    Get Owen to ring Manchester and it's Bolton in the Champions League.

    22 December 2011 16:08
    TrotterUSA said...
    (we'll probably sign Rupert Murdoch)
    ====================================
    You should probably sign Michael Owen trotts. He is the same as Sturridge - young, pacy and a finisher par excellance.

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  135. Whatever happens I'm loving the use of the word cunt by everyone. Its almost like a typical quiet night out in Derry. Its class.

    Oh yeah, Suarez is a cunt and Jacks yes Rooney does dive but so does every single footballer. It just happens that Rooney isn't very good at it so its obvious to see when he does. I'd argue that Suarez has dived more the past year than Rooney has in his whole career.

    Oh and there are obviously different degrees of racism, its a bit naive to think its a mere black and white issue. Sorry. Couldn't resist.

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  136. So Rooney does do the gamesmanship that other footballers do.

    Glad we've sorted that out.

    Next,world peace.

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  137. Rastafairy here...

    The best bit about the goalie kicking the pitch invader is the advert in the background: The fastest boot just got a brain...and a bollock!

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  138. Oh Rodders,do see it for the joke it is.

    A bad one...

    Home time woo-hoo

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  139. Here's a different question though. Are suarez/terry and other racist bastards bigger cunts than Noel? He did after all show irreverence to the dearly departed.

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  140. Chelsea and Spurs both drop 2 points, fine by me.

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  141. Thankyou AH - I was feeling left out in all this talk of cuntishness.

    Think I may have scraped over the line in my FFL H2Hs. I've got 57 points against my opponents 55, although now they'll be awarding bonus points and I'll probably lose.

    Well done Cav on SPOTY - it would have been a travesty if he hadn't have won it.

    Fairly good result tonight I guess for Spurs. Disappointed to drop points, but by the sounds of it, it was a fair result. I thought maybe Harry could have played Walker on the right wing to replace Lennon, with Corluka or Kaboul at RB, as VDV or Modric aren't wingers and it takes them away from positions where they can have an impact.

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  142. Well Done NOEL, I was wrong, you win, I thought Ade the whore was injured, mind games

    Didnt see SPOTY, but excellent choice in CAV

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  143. Thanks Tone. I was going to save my gloating until after the bonus points were awarded! Don't want to tempt fate.

    Daily Mail - warmongering much? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2077296/Falkland-Islands-Britain-dusts-war-plans-Argentina-turns-heat.html

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  144. Arsenal's Boxing day match moved back a day reminded me of this track;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UymKurTBdhw

    *Contains adult language.

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  145. George W Bush made some stupid fucking remarks even for a polly but this has to be right up there with his best.

    "But we've got a big border in Texas, with Mexico obviously - and we've got a big border with Canada - Arizona is affected."

    Maybe I should go recheck google maps before commenting but last time from the last time I looked either Arizona and Texas have shifted north or Canada had invaded.

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  146. For fucks sake H2, do you have to post clips containing bad language. We get fucking juveniles viewing these posts you know

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  147. A good little ditty just the same

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  148. One of the more intelligent polies.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7AXskSxxMk

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  149. Whilst I'm chuffed for Cav winning SPOTY,it has rather run it's course I think.All the footage last night seemed to have courtesy of Sky on it.

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  150. Yeah, that's the way it's all heading in the UK by the looks of it Jacks. All the popular sports are snapped up by SKY because they're popular, and will therefore get good viewing figures. I remember as a lad watching Grandstand with Dickie Davies or Des Lynam and all sorts of sports would be on - horse racing, darts, football, rugby (both codes), swimming, athletics. Does Grandstand still even exist?

    The Aussies seem to have it right with satellite tv, although Bo will know more about this than me - the viewing seems to be split for the major sports. Aussie Rules, cricket and Rugby League have games split between Foxtel and terrestrial tv. Parliament has decreed that people have the right to watch free to air sport. And it helps the popularity of sports with kids obviously.

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  151. In the festive spirit of things.....

    Roy K**ne.Cunt.

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  152. A prisoner on Death Row in Utah has been allowed to choose his firing squad. He has chosen Heskey.

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  153. The aussies obviously consider football (the real football) as perimeter sport because they don't show it on free to air

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  154. STOP USING CUNT SO NONCHALANTLY!

    YOU HAVE LEFT IT VOID OF ITS MEANING.

    CUNTS!!!!

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  155. There are so many cunts, its hard to choose just one...fuck me I'm getting claustrophobic from all the wee cuntyhooks. I'm gonna need a wash after this! I'm gonna go for the 2 biggest cunts of the year. One ON the pitch and one OFF it.

    I think the award for the biggest cunt ON the football pitch has to go to Sergio Busquets. Never has a player revelled in his own cuntishness and displayed such transcendent deployment of playing-football-like-a-rotten-wee-cunt. His mum must sit at home weeping about how much of a cunt her cunt produced.

    OFF the pitch it has to be that sly dog Tevez. He makes everyone think hes a committed professional when in reality hes a lying money-grabbing cunt! He even got the PFA to support him then promptly shat in their face by flying to Argentina. What a cunt!

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  156. Totally agreed Rod,
    how people forget about Busquets when mentioning cunts always pisses me off,
    although I must say that Tevez has been quite a stinking one on the field this year as well, most of his tantrums have been on the field, warming up, or on the bench,

    --BeeZee

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  157. It should be written into his contract that he trains half-arsed and only warms up once. He doesn't want to tire himself out ya see. Nothing to do with him being a cunt who moves clubs every two years to make a shit lot of money.

    I hope he stays at Citeh for the entirety of his contract though. I like the idea of them paying nearly 1 million a month in wages to someone in another hemisphere who plays golf and slags off the club in talk shows and music events. Someone will have to make a movie about it and call it.... "Tevez, the ever-cunt"

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  158. CUNTCEPTION: http://t.co/iWjEsyHx

    its Luis Suarez warming up in a Luis Suarez shirt

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  159. wow..2 pts away from top spot in Jacks regular league. How the hell did that happen?

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  160. Send me a cheque AH and I'll fix it for top spot.

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  161. So shite has the 50 million pund Torres been that after Vialla being ruled out for 6 months, Rauls is being billed to get back into Spanish national XI for the Euros.

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  162. People living in Shorpe are cunts

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  163. I think they might try and talk Butragueno back into the national squad before going with nando. Hell he's behind Kalou in the pecking order, and doesnt get called on against Wigan (unlike Carroll who got 3 mins against them).

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  164. YNWA

    https://twitter.com/#!/StanCollymore/favorites

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  165. Looking at that link, Spit, justs reminds me why I choose to avoid Twitter like the plague.

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  166. Seasons greetings and Happy Holidays to all of you and yours.

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  167. Likewise H, I dont touch the stuff, tho, looking at the anti-Evra comments, when next IOU play Pool, wonder if Evra will survive or get shot

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  168. I'll drink to that

    TO ONE AND ALL

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  169. Merry Christmas everyone.

    And a Happy New Cunt.

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  170. Best wishes over the Christmas period to all who sail the good ship Robbo... yep, even the voyeurs. Hope you all get what you deserve... in most cases fuck all I expect.

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  171. Merry Christmas to all of us (7 or so that is)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXCEdrnaFlY

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  172. Prince Philips problems with his heart come as a huge shock

    I didn't realise the old git had one

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  173. Kenny over cooked his suarez defence hasn't he. Now its repeating on him. Trouble is Kenny - he's guilty.

    It's good to see the racists getting the abuse these days although we all know it doesn't make them go away. They just sit in a corner reading the telegraph, fuming, waiting...

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  174. H2H - ive been doing the rounds of many pubs the last couple of days, it would be rude not to at this time if year and I just hope your trade is holding up better than it seems to be here. Post apocalypse levels of emptiness. I've seen more people at a col utd match.

    Merry Xmas and a more prosperous new year to all out brave publicans squeezed by the breweries screwed on rental waiting to be asset stripped and their pubs sold off to be turned into bijoux private residences.

    Napoleon said it was only religion stopping the poor from killing the rich. Now I guess its obesity.

    And Xmas of course.

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  175. Time for the vale to make a late push for promotion

    Living on a thin line,
    Tell me now, what are we supposed to do?
    Does it really matter?
    Yes it really matters.

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  176. I found my first grey pubic hair today.

    That's the last time I eat my nans trifle.

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  177. How fuckin awesome is that..Number 1 at christmas in Jacks league...mwahahahaha.

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  178. Polite notice to my family : now fuck off and leave me alone.

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  179. Good win away for the vale.

    RBA couldn't stand it any more and unplugged the floodlights at half time for the shots.

    SHocked that Torres didn't score. How can someone that good become that shit so quickly?

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