Sunday, 19 February 2012

It's Gunner Get Worse

Only two English clubs have got in to the last 16 of the Champions League this season. Strangely, both of them are by common consent in the shit.

In Arsenal's case the merde has been passed by the management. It is no longer enough for the Wenger loyalists to lob insults at the board like so many Rory Delaps.

Enough is enough, Arsene. Pretty just won't do. The Milan defeat was a bloody awful yardstick for how low football's professor of philosophy has sank. There are many reasons why Arsenal are so poor but as ever the standout one (I use the word standout in an ironic sense as it's really just an illiterate American version of the word 'outstanding') is that the players are crap.

That's crap in comparison with their recent predecessors. You look at Chamakh, a bench-warmer whose only contribution to North London life has been an alarming rise in the sales Stupido Hair Gel. Arshavin, less a footballer these days than a Tzu-Tzu hamster. Walcott, all the assets, but put him within twenty yards of a net and he displays all the composure of a schoolgirl in a snake pit.

But the clown prince of all that it is cack about Wenger's half-arsened squad is Johann Djourou.

I'm versatile and consistent. Shit in every position.

Djourou resembles a heron chick. Crap hair, no coordination plus - and here's where the comparison founders - a new three-year contract.

If you truly want to understand how many marbles have tumbled out of Wenger's bonce in the last three years, there's your test-case. Djourou couldn't defend a night-club door against some uppity eight-year olds, let alone a six-yard box.

The only reason it's still possible that Wenger might maintain a presence in next year's Champions League is because there's a tall, increasingly pale centre-forward bailing 'em out each week. The reason Robin van Persie looks quite so wan at the moment is cos the whole club is clutching on to that particular straw so tightly there's barely only blood circulating around his body.

He is the magnificent oak that has sprouts from a sea of manure. The idea that he'll be there next year is laughable, unless Wenger can (a) unlock some funds and (b) dare to spend it. The rationale for keeping the moulah down his sophisticated French pantalon seems to be less about a club philosophy and more about fear of failure.

Eden Hazard - which once referred to the serpent that whisperecd in Eve's shell-like - could have been an Arsenal player if Wenger had been self-assured to insist on the cash being stumped up. As it is he'll go to Barca, or Real, or Spurs. Yes. Spurs.

Instead you get the likes of Gervinho - he of the forehead so bulbous you have to assume he gets around using inbuilt sonar (if you listen closely you can hear a series of rapid clicks as he approaches the opposition penalty area) - and he's just another speedy headless chicken. The idea that the return of Wilshere, good as he is, will herald a better season is optimistic and unfair on the player.

Meanwhile Andre Villas-Boas continues to crouch uncomfortably on the touchline like a constipated fox terrier as his team play a brand of football that wouldn't look out of place in a Mack Sennet short.

AVB endures another torrid post-match interview

Certainly there are plenty of comic turns to enjoy. David Luiz looks more and more like one of the brooms out of the Sorcerer's Apprentice. Only this broom has a mind of its own.

Ivanovic reminds me of an easily duped heavy in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. ('Derrrr! Where'd he go? Where'd he go?') And Chelsea fans watch Fernando Torres like a nervy banker watches the trade figures, desperately hoping to see the green shoots of recovery and finding a big fat nothing staring them in the face.

Even the bright spots Juan Mata and Daniel Sturridge are beginning to dim like child's sparklers into the mist. Mata was withdrawn at half-time against Brum despite being the only creative influence on the park. Sturridge insists he's fine playing right wing which is a bit like a horse insisting he loves his concrete yard when just over the road there's acres of lush pasture.

Meanwhile some of Chelsea's second-half improvement is being put down to a rabble-rousing bit of oratory from Didier Drogba. Having watched the interview with DD on the Beeb website you can understand why he might command a room with more authority than the bearded Portuguese pigeon currently in charge.

The Chelsea job comes with a lot of baggage. AVB's appointment has always looked like Abramovich has hired a Mourinho who listens. What it looks like he's got is a Scolari with an eating disorder.

The thing is I like AVB. He has dignity, even if it has been trampled underfoot by a squad of disniterested players who all seem to be gagging for a nice big cuddle with Guus Hiddink. I've no doubt that Hiddink will be driving up the Kings Road after defeat in Napoli and that Villas-Boas will become the latest expendable casualty of Roman's Masterplan.

I'm sorry to see Mick McCarthy get the boot by the way. Maybe Curbishley wil revive them enough but a realistic person would tell you that Wolves have been infinitely better with the Barnsley bruiser at the helm.

And I'm sorry to see Neil Warnock back into management so swiftly. He's working for Ken Bates. Like Piers Morgan hiring Kelvin Mackenzie. Hopefully they'll lay into each other like Chisora and Haye neither of 'em will come through it.

'Good to see you back at Chelsea. I thought you might be wanting my job. It's available'

At present Monsieur Wenger is far more likely to disappear without a trace. And I'm not sure that that wouldn't be the best thing for all concerned. Being second best is begining to take its toll.

266 comments:

  1. Spurs are lucky they didn't play earlier or they surely would have made it in

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  2. Not funny at all, especially if you're an Arsenal supporter. ;)

    I haven't had the time to watch the last few matches but by all reports we were crap.

    It's not really that much of a shock, we've been going pretty steadly downhill for quiet a while now and the lack of investment in the squad has been borderline criminal. You can't lose players like Nasri and Fabregas and expect everything to be dandy.

    Something is very wrong in North London at the mo, our club seems rudderless and AW can't seem to turn it around and the board only seems to care about being self sufficent (whatever that means) and telling us how healthy we are, when it's plain to see we're in a pretty sickly state.

    I can't believe we're still in the top 4, all the other teams must be complete pants.

    By the way, Hiddink joined that Antzi Russian club a few days ago, so I can't see him returning to Stamford Bridge.

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  3. You think the football is bad, what about having to listen to the punditry on ITV of Adrian Chiles and Roy Keane... Gawd, they couldn't sound more depressed if they tried.

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  4. Somethings rotten that's for sure. Not sure why, could it be - cliche alert - money is ruining the Premiership?

    I can't think of any other reason its become a bit second rate lately - a scylla and charibdis psycho drama of not enough and too much? Dunno.

    Poundland Clubs like Arsenal and Liverpool can't pay won't pay to keep the carefully nurtured talent as they grow restless and resentful....oxlade-chambo to me looks like the last remaining arsenal player who still enjoys playing football (it won't last)

    On the other side, chelsea and man city crush the talent with the weight of megabuck expectations or hand them so much power they don't give a toss any more. Torres has become truly a most pathetic spectacle. Tevez is an embarrassment.

    Not sure how man u will cope after the genius of SAF.

    For real football look down the leagues, and for a reminder that football isn't just about egotripping oil billionaires and the prostitution of talent, look at Chris burchill who has agreed to play for the vale for nowt like some kind of footballing Tesco benefits conscript because he feels he owes the club and because he loves football.

    Fenton!

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  5. I agree anon - I bet the suicide rate rises when Roy keane is on tv. I wouldn't be surprised to hear him say ... footballs shit these days they're not real men anymore and were all going to die

    He'd be right , mind

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  6. A a while now whenever they show the Arsenal bench I have to pinch myself that the team isn't being managed by Pat Butcher and her latest abusive husband.

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  7. Arsene Wenger's 16-year reign as Arsenal manager is under increasing pressure after the revelation that Barcelona boss Pep Guardiola could replace him in the summer.
    =======================================================================================

    Why would you want to leave a club boasting a midfield of Iniesta, Xavi and Messi for one with Rosicky, Ramsey and Arshavin

    Arsenal will scrap their wage cap in a bid to keep their best players and attract stellar signings. The current limit is about £100,000 a week but, amid the fall-out from their ­4-0 Champions League defeat at AC Milan, there is an acceptance among the Gunners hierarchy that there must be a major change of direction.
    =====================================================================================

    I think the copy boy had fuck all to do today

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  8. Don't forget Arteta Bo, takes eons to turn and run, can't tackle, has zero skills, lightweight (made sessegnion look like hulk), no creativity (a total of zero through balls to RVP), and his age means there is no chance to improve... pretty pretty bad signing I must say even by wengers recent standards,

    its depressing fridge-candy that Rosicky at times seems like the only player who can create sth...

    --BeeZee

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  9. How bad a day must brighton have had to make downing and carroll look good today ? 6-1 with 3 own goals..i wonder what the record for most number of own goals is.

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  10. bet you'd never have guessed this was the answer; 149.

    Answers.com > Wiki Answers > Categories > Sports > Football - Soccer > What is the highest number of own goals scored in 1 match?
    Answer:
    149, all own goals. AS Adema defeated Stade Olymique L'Emyrne (SOE) 149-0 in 2002, without scoring a goal themselves. SOE started scoring own goals in protest of bad refereeing decisions, scoring a goal every 40 seconds while Adema's players could only stand and watch.

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  11. I think three things have happened that have made Arsenal seem a team in crisis - Sheikh Mansour bought Man City, Roman Abramovich bought Chelsea, and the Glazers turned Man Utd into a merchandising whore. These are factors outside of Arsene's control, but have changed the footballing landscape. No other teams can compete against this financial backing, and so seem, in comparison, to be bad teams. The truth is that they are not. I think Wenger is pinning his hopes on Financial Fair Play returning it to a level playing field, but I think we all know that it won't, and the richer clubs will find a way around it. So unless the Arsenal board, and the boards of every other football club, can offer the salaries and transfer fees that the rich three can, then they will always struggle to attract decent players. Unfortunately it seems that just playing football isn't a footballers number one incentive these days - players are happy to play two or three games a year but get paid 150k a week to do so. So do Arsenal stay within their means and take 3rd/4th spot as the best they can achieve, or risk financial ruin á la Leeds and Pompey?

    Spurs seem to be having a good season, but I think we all know that we'll never win the league, or the Champions League while the rich three can flex their financial muscle. A chance in a domestic cup if the rich clubs play their reserve teams is the best we can hope for. And then at the end of each season it's a case of hoping our stars will be happy to stay on their 70k a week contract, but play every week, or chase the bigger contracts that they could earn, but not play as regularly.

    I suspect we may never know if Arsenal's transfer policy is based on Arsene's philosophy, or on the boards' willingness to spend.

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  12. The least the Arsenal board could do is splash out on some Just For Men for RVP. He's going grey at an alarming rate.

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  13. Good stuff Robbo. That's a lovely looking dog but can we have more tits next week?

    Of course the money's ruining it, it's also what created it and now they can't give it up. The football beast is eating its own flesh. Wellington Mara had the solution!

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  14. Typical February for Gooners. All falls apart in space of a week. I think the fans wont be much happy with even 4th place finish now.
    What rankles me more is how every season Wenger tries to get away with an excuse saying we had 3 difficult away games and the players gave 100%?!?!

    Sure, they gave 100% no one is taking that away from them... but Club of our size should know the fixtures and be prepared with enough quality and depth in squad to cope with 3 difficult away games in month of February as is the case every year. Our failure in having depth in squad is the reason of our trophyless season.

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  15. I have a certain sympathy for AVB.A decent manager,may will become a great one.But that dressing room at Chelsea is filled with knob heads who seem to think they know best.Abramovich doesn't help either.Speaking to the players is one thing,asking their advice?I wouldn't tryst a professional footballer to tell me the time accurately.

    As for Ar***al,well being outspent is one thing,buying a load of old toot is another.

    Still,went shopping at the weekend and bought the new Robin Van Persie tray.

    Good enough to carry 10 mugs.

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  16. I reckon Noel has pretty much hit the nail on the head on the income issue. Swiss Ramble lists the turnover of top (by income) teams as follows (in €millions) RM 479, Barca 451, Manyoo 367, Bayern 321, Gooners 251, Chelski 250, Milan 235, Inter 211, Scousers 203, Schalke 202, Spurs 181, Citeh 170. With Chelski and Citeh you have to add what the owner puts in (about €220m for Citeh), with Manyoo, you need to deduct what the owner takes out, and for the Gooners you need to deduct the profit made (about €65m). Not exactly a "level playing field", but less unequal than Spain (which is like Scotland, but with good football).

    What this doesn't do is explain why the Gooners have been falling behind recently (their spending power could outmuscle Spurs, but they choose to spend the same). Ian Dennis on 5live said something about Arsenal's season falling apart in a few days. Didn't that happen last season too?


    Jedi

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  17. SS
    All gave 100%???

    Apart from RVP and perhaps standin Flappy, the rest, esp Song and Djourou just didnt seem to be interested

    Jacks, bit harsh on either of the 2 poles between the sticks, with the current defence in front of them, includung TV

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  18. Thats what Wenger says, players gave 100%. I didnt see it though. :P

    Another issue with Wenger is he tries to build up too much optimism prior to any big game, take Milan match for example. He said we will try to play audacious.. I mean with a leaky defense why even say such a thing.

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  19. He has to show belief in his players though, even if he doesn't have it. But I imagine he does have faith in the teams that he puts out. He can't exactly say, 'we're going to get dicked here, so let's just hope that we don't concede too many and can keep our dignity'. Pretty much all Harry Redknapp does is put belief in his players. You can't do that by not being optimistic.

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  20. Woohoo...carling cup final week. The greatest cup competition in this history of the world!!!

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  21. Hiddink? He's signed as manager for Anzhi...

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  22. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  23. "Poundland Clubs like Arsenal and Liverpool" what, pray does that make my beloved Everton then? That's a rhetorical question btw, and no, the answer is not "shit"! :)

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  24. thought the answer of rhetorical questions was nothing.

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  25. Interesting how Wenger's biggest and most vocal critics have a combined achievement of ZERO when managing a football club.

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  26. OK, I admit it. I've never won a game as a premier league manager.

    Jedi

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  27. Ok, now I've read to the end of yr post and I can see your prolepsis pre-empted me.

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  28. ...and the answers still "shit"

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  29. eh up, My Mother's vicar is an Evertonian so they must be alright. Infact, it's about time the CofE bought a football team.

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  30. I always thort christianity was a load of old toffee, trotts

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  31. Strangely....


    Everton were founded during November 1879 when the St. Domingo's Church held a meeting at the Queen's Head Hotel, Village Street. They already had a cricket team but wanted to find another sport for the winter month. The St. Domingo team played in Stanley Park and won their first game, against St Peter's Church. The following year the club were renamed Everton F.C. after the surrounding area.

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  32. Everton are fine club, Roger mate. Year after year they have no money to spend, have everyone except the physio injured, spend the first half of the season in/near the drop zone, yet end the season in the top half. They seem to be well on their way to doing it again. I fear what might happen to them if they do get money and start splashing it around. It's not like they will do it sensibly like liverpool did. teehee.

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  33. Do they have crappy pies at Everton? There must be something?

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  34. ... fellaini, ftw!

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  35. Motorists may not back their automobiles into trees in public places. - Princeton, New Jersey, ordinance.

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  36. Funds obligated for military assistance as of September 3, 1979, may, if deobligated, be reobligated. - Budget of the United States, fiscal year 1980.

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  37. Thank you to you kind folk for the kind words on my permanently impoverished club. I kind of fancy a cup final against Spurs where we defend resolutely for 89 minutes, keeping out Spurs' 703 shots on target, go up the other end on a rare break and the ball cannons in off Hibbert's scrawny arse via a miscued welly from Pip, Hibbo scoring his first ever goal for the club after a 41 year career...oh and we have already stuffed the lovable neighbours in the semi.......what's that?.....bugger, it's the alarm..

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  38. So Ryan Giggs is suing the Sun newspaper as they breached his "right to privacy" by writing about his affairs. What about Rhodri Giggs right not to have his wife fucked by his brother or Natasha Giggs right not to have a husband who can't keep it in his pants.
    How about pouring yourself a nice glass of shut the fuck up Ryan you twat.

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  39. I see Nicklas Bendtner has been done for doing 103mph.

    Presumably aiming the needle at 30.


    Jedi

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  40. If Bendtner were a horse or a dog, he'd be long put down.

    FENTON!

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  41. Arsenal midfielder Emmanuel Frimpong has been involved in an angry Twitter exchange with celebrity fan Piers Morgan after the TV presenter called for manager Arsene Wenger to be replaced. "Just don't bring your ugly face to the Emirates because we at Arsenal are sick are tired of your abuse towards players and coach," Frimpong told Morgan.
    =======================================================================================

    As in your face off the field as he is on it.

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  42. "No person shall halloo, shout, bawl, scream, use profane language, dance, sing, whoop, quarrel, or make any unusual noise or shout in any house in such a manner as to disturb the peace and quiet of the neighbourhood." - Jacobville, Illinoise, ordinance

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  43. Chelsea are targeting Arsenal and England winger Theo Walcott and could be willing to swap him for Stamford Bridge striker Daniel Sturridge.
    ------------------------------------
    If i was Arsenal i'd snap their arm off for that deal

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  44. Colch,

    I'd even snap their legs off in case they get the idea of coming back for a refund

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  45. Chelsea very lucky last night that Napoli only got 3.

    I have some sympathy for AVB,it's not his fault that the transfer policy has been shit for years and that the dressing room wields as much power as it does.

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  46. Agree with you Mr Ofbuxton. AVB seems to be a quality manager, who always comes across as intelligent and eloquent, but he's being undermined by too many of his players who are still living in the Mourinho era. He needs a good clear out of these players, but seeing as they represent the spine of his team, it's going to be easier said than done. Getting rid of players like Lampard, Bosingwa, Malouda, Kalou, Cole, Drogba and Cech, who have little resale value, and replacing them all with quality players isn't a summer's work - it would have to take a few seasons. As you said Jacks, AVB is struggling because of the previous transfer policy. I hope Abramovich sees this and supports a long term objective, but given his history this seems unlikely.

    I personally think that Chelsea struggle as they don't have any width (Fat Frank Lampard doesn't count as a wide player). They play that bloody 4-3-3 formation that everyone likes these days. I like to see two wide players who stay out wide, drive to the byline and put crosses in for your strikers.

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  47. Wow, that's Arsenal and Chelsea's problems all dealt with. Tune in next week for Man Utd's.

    Although that will be a shorter evaluation - they're just all cunts.

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  48. Time to start on City's main problem (an ugly little Argentinian). Tevez has now issued an apology, even though he has previously claimed (last week on Argentinian TV) that he did nothing wrong (now known as "doing a Kenny").

    Mancini should leave the little sh1t to rot in the reserves, but he will probably play, if only to increase his resale value in the summer.


    Jedi

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  49. From the BBC (remember them?) gossip column (taken from the Bun)

    Ashley Cole, Frank Lampard and Michael Essien were all dropped from the Chelsea line-up against Napoli on Tuesday for daring to criticise manager Andre Villas-Boas before the match. Cole told the boss: "I came here to win medals, and trophies, but I'm never going to do that with your tactics."

    Funny, that. I seem to recall he went for more money.


    Jedi

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  50. Hello Niall,

    Remember me? This is your conscience talking to you. This is your conscience reminding you to stop writing these blogs. Reminding you that they are shit and a waste of time. Reminding you that you are not Robbo Robson. Come back to the light. Rediscover who you are Niall.

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  51. Anonymous,

    you are a funny one. Infact the funniest thing that ever happened.

    Dont be a stranger, do stop by more often.

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  52. haha, anon don't be a stranger!

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  53. I am Nialls conscience......Free me from my Robbo Robson prison. Let the real Niall out.....

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  54. Haha, the nutty anons are here..thank heavens..things were getting a little boring out here of late. I still miss the abusive anon though. i think he was my favorite. I am also reasonably certain one of the many anons is bloggy trying to stir things up a bit.

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  55. Remember me....spooky music...I'm back from the grave ....wooooooo! Booo! You're all wankers!

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  56. Shit forgot to sign in as Anonymous

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  57. Anon ... no we don't fucking remember you, youre anonymous you dopey bastard, now fuck off.

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  58. Hope that addresses your suspicions, AH

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  59. Jiminy cricket was a judgmental little bastard n'all

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  60. Sid waddell tweeted me and now I can die happy.

    Eat your heart out Einstein, that last dart to fall was an apple

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  61. Pissed off that Iron Sky nicked my idea.... "Mandraxe the magician and the Nazi Werewolves from mars" now being rewritten as "m the m and the ninja Werewolves from plumstead"

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  62. someone nicked Mandrake the magician - quick threaten to force them to buy a Port Vale season ticket and watch every match and they will sharp give you some royalties

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  63. Sorry about that bloggy...Elvis was probably right about suspicion.

    Oh man..just 4 days to go to the big day..arent you all just dying of excitement? (NO..Im not talking about the Norwich-Man U game).

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  64. Impressive performance by Citeh. Knocked the defending champs out rather easily in the end.

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  65. tweet him back Blog so he can die happy too, it's all relative.

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  66. The scrapped novel also featured a petshop boys fan who likes football (fat fetched I know) and who thinks he's funny but obviously that weak premise has also already been taken

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  67. Just breaking balls Adam, as big tony wd say

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  68. Trott, aged 31 Alexander of macedon cried salt tears because there,were no more worlds to conquer

    Sid waddell is already 57! (ie past caring)

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  69. 57? It's time for a bit of variety in his life.

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  70. I'll suggest to my pal sid that he tries this, trott

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yh-5TylNgo

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  71. ITV coverage of football gets worse.Paul Ince?

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  72. Now that is something I would watch Blog. They should try blindfold football too.

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  73. Three weeks to go before the new adventure begins. Things are falling into place nicely and I am now starting to wind down... if I could just quit these fucking cigarettes everything would be hunky dory.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Bo, longtime Lurker and smoker, have given up after about 40years. Been off around 4 months now including much drinking over Christmas. I'm sure you'll find an Oz equivalent, good luck!

      http://www.vipelectroniccigarette.co.uk/

      Regards Jim

      Delete
  74. In Kentucky, "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within the state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." However, this Kentucky law goes on to say, "The provisionsof this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds nor shall it apply to female horses."

    I am glad female horses were excluded, it would be a shame to deny Kentuckians the right to see bikini clad fillies on the highway.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Mancini is making big mistake letting that scum bag into his team. Hes obviously coming back for the money, why play him anyway? They have Aguerro, Dzeko, Balotelli and Pizzaro. Maybe they won't to improve their reserve team.

    Have I missed anything? Was away to Edinburgh for a week, really beautiful place except for the tram works. Every main road was dug up.

    A special note for Frank, you won't be forgotten.

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  76. Some strange selections in there by Pearce. He should play all the youngsters selected rather than just select them in the squad and have a 11 not too different from Fabio's playing. Defence looks a litte questionable as well, but hoping to see welbeck, sturridge, cleverly,walker,richards, cahill and adam johnson all play all or most of the game.

    BREAKING NEWS - ENGLAND SQUAD
    Goalkeepers: Scott Carson (Bursaspor), Joe Hart (Manchester City), Robert Green (West Ham United).

    Defenders: Gary Cahill (Chelsea), Ashley Cole (Chelsea), Leighton Baines (Everton), Glen Johnson (Liverpool), Phil Jones (Manchester United), Micah Richards (Manchester City), Chris Smalling (Manchester United), Kyle Walker (Tottenham Hotspur).

    Midfielders: Gareth Barry (Manchester City), Tom Cleverley (Manchester United), Stewart Downing (Liverpool), Adam Johnson (Manchester City), Steven Gerrard (Liverpool), James Milner (Manchester City), Scott Parker (Tottenham Hotspur), Ashley Young (Manchester United), Theo Walcott (Arsenal).

    Forwards: Darren Bent (Aston Villa), Fraizer Campbell (Sunderland), Daniel Sturridge (Chelsea), Wayne Rooney (Manchester United), Danny Welbeck (Manchester United).

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  77. I don't think that's a bad squad at all.Be nice if Richards played at RB,although I like Walker as well.Cleverley is a good player as well.We know what Rooney and Bent can do,so play the other 3 forwards as well.

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  78. I agree Jacks, I think it's a pretty good mix of youth and experience. Cahill and Jones at CB, i assume. Please, please, please don't take Terry to the Euros!!!! I'd like to see Sturridge start, he's been one of the best things about Chelski this season (OK, not much competition except from David Luiz in the comedy stakes).


    Jedi

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  79. Its a friendly so why not start with all the young ones and if things dont quite work out, thorow in the older players.

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  80. It is refreshing to not see Terry and Lampard there but why keep Gerrard.

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    Replies
    1. The official replacement for Terry has yet to be announced Rod.

      Delete
  81. There again we do have Rooney... I guess they could combine to create the Rooney & Gerrard 90 minute spectacular fuck up.

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  82. blindfold 4 man boxing matches is fanfuckintastic, why isn't this mainstream?

    Gareth "cart horse" Barry still makes the squad after that Germany debacle, wtf. I'd dump Walcott (90% crap), Downing (75% crap), Smalling (error prone) and Jones (even more error prone) too and replace them with anybody from Bolton with an English Grandmother. Oh and Johnson, no fuckin' way, he's 95% crap and error prone and slow and gets the wrong side constantly.

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  83. Hi Bo, longtime Lurker and smoker, have given up after about 40years. Been off around 4 months now including much drinking over Christmas. I'm sure you'll find an Oz equivalent, good luck!

    http://www.vipelectroniccigarette.co.uk/

    Regards Jim
    =====================================================

    Cheers Jim. We dont have clayton cigarettes but we have the nicotine releasing chewing gum... problem with that is, it is as addictive as the cigarettes.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Bo, I quit 15 months ago after 30+ years. I did a month on reduced tar and nicotine cigs then went to nicotine lozenges and gum, inspired by a radio personalty that's been on nicorette gum for 25 years, beats the cigarette stink and doesn't have the tar and all the other shit in it.

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  85. (and by the way, if England score 6 with goals from Barry, Walcott, Downing, Smalling, Jones and Johnson. I'll be taking a week off with a carton of Marlboro).

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  86. Are you still on the nicorettes Trott? I know what you mean about the cigarette stink. It costs me as much in spray on deodorants as it does cigarettes.

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  87. In May 1995, Leon Taylor, convicted of murdering a man during a 1994 robbery was sentenced to death, plus life in prison, with an additional 315 years tacked on.

    Trott, do you know if he has been released yet?

    ReplyDelete
  88. "Speed upon country roads will be limited to ten miles an hour unless a motorist sees a bailiff who does not appear to have had a drink in thirty days, then the driver will be permitted to make what he can." - El Dorado County, California, law.

    WTF???

    ReplyDelete
  89. The law in Groton, Connecticut, states that "any utterances from a man in a bow tie are not to be credited."

    ReplyDelete
  90. Yes, still on nicorettes, they're not so good for blowing bubbles though.

    you can read all about Leon here, Bo, very interesting if you have an hour to spare.

    http://www.law.com/jsp/decision_friendly.jsp?id=1202433606791

    bottom line is that he's on death row.

    ReplyDelete
  91. An hour to spare Trott. My beard grew 1/2 inch while reading that article. It did, as you said though, make for an interesting read.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Just been on the FFL site for the first time in a few weeks to get my team ready for the weekend. Looks like I won't be able to field a full team against AH judging by the amount of players I have rated as doubtful.

    Just trying to get my excuses in early.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Well done


    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-17150054

    ReplyDelete
  94. In Connecticut, it's illegal to feed your slaves lobster more than 3 times a week.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Tzu-Tzu: illiterate Teesside spelling of Zhu-Zhu?

    disniterested: illiterate Teesside spelling of disinterested?

    whisperecd: illiterate Teesside spelling of whispered?

    Piss on an American colloquialism, than misspell 3 words while bolstering your eloquence with references to American cartoons? Bit arrogant for Teessider, who's probably a standout fella despite the smog.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Tzu-Tzu: illiterate Teesside spelling of Zhu-Zhu?

    disniterested: illiterate Teesside spelling of disinterested?

    whisperecd: illiterate Teesside spelling of whispered?

    Piss on an American colloquialism, than misspell 3 words while bolstering your eloquence with references to American cartoons? Bit arrogant for Teessider, who's probably a standout fella despite the smog.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Gregg Jevin was a dick and I for one am glad that he's dead.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Not sure I got that 4fe ... can you run that past me once more ? Awesome user name though.
    ===========
    Noel - doesnt really matter if Ade is going to get 4 assists and a goal thereby rendering all other players on both sides redundant.

    ReplyDelete
  99. 4fe72aa8-5eeb-11e1-8f5c-000bcdca4d7aFeb 24, 2012 06:00 AM
    Piss on an American colloquialism, than misspell 3 words while bolstering your eloquence with references to American cartoons? Bit arrogant for Teessider, who's probably a standout fella despite the smog.
    ----------------------------------

    Probably better to do that than slag off someone's spelling and THEN mispell a word while you're doing it.

    ReplyDelete
  100. AnfieldHopeful and all - Sorry about the double posting. Not sure how it happened, I suspect I used the back button then the forward button on the web browser. As for the user name, AOL is responsible for that bit of comedy. AOL claims I'm an opaque user.

    ColchesterFC - I don't know which word you consider misspelled, but my British English spellchecker and a hard copy Oxford dictionary indicates otherwise. If you're referring to the spelling of Teessider, I imagine that is a good source for a lively debate all over Teesside. I considered some other options, Teeside-er, Teesidian, or resident of the fine Teesside area. I didn't consider Teeside to be correct. I wasn't slagging Robbo off, rather giving him a bit friendly stick. I'm sure he's got skin thick enough to handle it. I consider Robbo one of the best sports writers in the world. Good luck tomorrow against Rochdale. I'm just wishing the Colchester FC well, in case you're wondering or worried about a slagging off.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Gregg Jevin was my east, my west....

    ReplyDelete
  102. ColchesterFCFeb 24, 2012 06:48 AM
    4fe72aa8-5eeb-11e1-8f5c-000bcdca4d7aFeb 24, 2012 06:00 AM
    Piss on an American colloquialism, than misspell 3 words while bolstering your eloquence with references to American cartoons? Bit arrogant for Teessider, who's probably a standout fella despite the smog.
    ----------------------------------

    Probably better to do that than slag off someone's spelling and THEN mispell a word while you're doing it.
    ==================================

    4fe .. check out the words capitalized by Colch and here's another hint..spellchecker doesn't catch it as its mis-spelt but still a valid english word.

    keep it coming though mate, gives us lot something to do/read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like OMG, you're so, like, right, as well as, like, Mr. ColchesterFC. :-) Completely missed that one. I'm a real Gregg Jevin for that. Thanks for the encouragement, I'll keep trying to return the favour of food for though you all give me.

      Delete
  103. Don't know about the opaque bit either mate, I think I can see right through you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its like the Beatles knew all about 5 years before I was born. Thanks for the laugh.

      Delete
  104. JDR? Is that you?

    If not, oddballs always welcome, 4fe.

    ReplyDelete
  105. 4fe72aa8-5eeb-11e1-8f5c-000bcdca4d7a, I'm on to you. I see that your screen name is merely a hexadecimal version....your real name is........................ Oç*¨?î? á?õ?� ÍÊMz

    ReplyDelete
  106. Arshavin has signed for Zenit it seems.

    fail to see the logic of letting an experienced player leave now other than the player wanting to play regularly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly... I dont get the point why now?? He's put country before the club... He wants to play regular football to be ready for Euros.
      If he had been scoring goals and in good form for us he would be playing regularly in starting 11 ahead of AOC.

      I am not angry that Arshavin's gone to Russia... just hurt by the fact that we let him go in month of February, a day before must win game against Sp**s. And Wenger will as usual be naive in addressing this issue and give a diplomatic reply he did it in best interests of the player and the Club. Instead he should just spit it out and come out in open about differences of opinions within the Board and the manager himself.

      Delete
  107. RodTheFierceFeb 24, 2012 11:03 AM
    4fe72aa8-5eeb-11e1-8f5c-000bcdca4d7a, I'm on to you. I see that your screen name is merely a hexadecimal version....your real name is........................ Oç*¨?î? á?õ?� ÍÊMz
    -----------------------------------------------

    Are you sure about that Rod? I think you'll find that if you substitute the letters for the equivalent number in the alphabet then divide by your waist size and then multiply by the age you were when you were 7 and then re-susbstitute the relevant letters from the alphabet you will in fact find that 4fe72aa8-5eeb-11e1-8f5c-000bcdca4d7a is actually.....................

    Gregg Jevin!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ColcesterFC, you blown my cover. I've faked my death, and now living in Helsinki under the assumed name J. Edgar Vacuum. Why, because I s#@!ed at being Gregg Jevin.

      Delete
    2. Doh, there I go again. " ... You've blown my cover. ..."

      Delete
  108. I like the use of the word "then" in the phrase "and then multiply"

    ReplyDelete
  109. TrotterUSAFeb 24, 2012 12:55 PM
    I like the use of the word "then" in the phrase "and then multiply"
    ---------------------------------------

    But not in the phrase "and then re-susbstitute" Trott?

    ReplyDelete
  110. not so much but it's probably because I dunno how many substitutions anybody's allowed these days.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Well Wolves have properly fucked up there search for a new manager. They've almost made Venky's look competent. The only sensible thing I can see that has happened is they ignored Ray Wilkins when he said that he'd be interested.

    They drew up a shortlist of three - Warnock, Bruce and Curbishley. Colin took the Leeds job, Bruce never seemed to come close, and Curbishley said no as he disagreed with the owners vision of the club. By that, I guess Curbishley was planning for Championship football next season, whereas the owner demanded that they survive in the Premiership this season. So in the end, despite claiming that they wanted someone with Premiership experience, they gave it to Mick's assistant, who was never on their shortlist in the first place. Unless Terry Connor is the next Chris Hughton, it can only end in disaster.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Introducing an anti-discrimination 'Rooney rule' would increase the
    chances of our female senior
    citizens getting a shag on a
    Friday night

    ReplyDelete
  113. but in all seriousness its only right to redress the unrepresentatively low proportion of ignorant scouse chavs in football management

    ReplyDelete
  114. I have a lot of sympathy for Mick McCarthy Noel.Wolves seem to have stayed up in spite of their owners.They really are half wits.I hope Connor keeps them up.Wigan,Blackburn and QPR to go down.QPR mainly because Mark Hughes is a bell end,and the other 2 offer nothing to football.Can't fill their ground when Un**ed come to visit.Although I like Sanchez as a manager.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Huddersfield seems to be following the Wolves owners business model also. The bloke get the sack and is up awards for job well done. Ouch

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some odd firings lately.Grayson at Leeds was another odd one.

      Delete
  116. Tony,quick one for you.Martin McIntosh is the new Buxton manager.

    http://www.buxtonfc.co.uk/newsItem.php?id=536

    ReplyDelete
  117. Lots of experience there, Go Bucks

    ReplyDelete
  118. I don't get this general feeling that martinez is a great manager, his wigan team is even more naive than Arsenal!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We all have differing opinions Rod.I like the style he's trying to play,I like the fact he doesn't whinge and I admire the job he'd done at a shite club.

      Delete
  119. Another good win for the vale ... no cash, transfer embargo but mickey Adams is working his magic. A play off position would be a triumph

    ReplyDelete
  120. Finally I'm climbing the career ladder. stand by to slip and pitch the 135. Crew get to work.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Don't know who the guardians secret footballer or his manager are ... but I like hid manager...

    After one of these games in which we'd taken a good hiding I approached our manager on the team bus, someone I thought I'd built up a good relationship with, and said: "Why do you say: 'Just enjoy it,' before we go out? How is chasing the ball around for 90 minutes, being beaten four or five nil and being made to look shit on TV in front of everyone supposed to be enjoyable?" He turned to me and, raising his voice so the whole coach could hear, said: "What do you want me to say, that you're not even half the player Paul Scholes is? Fuck off to the back of the bus and shut up."

    ReplyDelete
  122. Chelsea are crap, a good team would have scored at least 6 against us today. Any 3 from 5 at the bottom, we have an easy run of games though, starting with City away next week. Come on Ye Whites!

    ReplyDelete
  123. Howdy blogonauts.

    Got me a new laptop for behind the bar, which means that I'll be able to pop a little bit more**. It also means I can finally read the post 200 posts (I see Colch had trouble with that too) The time zone still seems a bit out of whack though.

    I'd first like to comment on the Arshavin transfer topic, which to me is an utterly ridiculous decision. Don't get me wrong, I think his time was pretty much up anyway and behalf from a moment of magic here and there and of course the 4 goals at L'pool he has never really lived up to his promise. However, the timing is just all wrong. If we wanted to let him go, then why not in January when we had time to replace him? Why now?

    Maybe he wasn't a starter anymore, but he was still an experienced squad player, his last appearance against Sunderland in the PL proved that, he came on and set up a last minute winner for Thiery Henry. I also realise that he was going through a bad patch, but he wasn't completly useless and there are still a few players in the squad that I'd rather of seen leave then him.

    Also with a squad that is more fragile then a middle east peace agreement and thiner then Wayne Rooney's pre op hairline this move just reeks of mismanagement. Unless I read/hear over the next few days that AA was a major disruption in the dressing room, wore a Luiz Suarez is innocent t-shirt, had threatened to eat his team mates children or had turned into a giant John Terry this decision will baffle me.

    Welcome to the new guys.

    4pfetc, are you by any chance related to C-3PO? ;)
    **Might not be as often as I thought, I started typing this on Saturday morning.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Morning H2. I'm still having problems with loading the posts once they go over 200 but realised I'd posted it after the posts had gone over 200 so couldn't see if anyone responded with a solution. How do I fix it?

    ReplyDelete
  125. Afternoon Colch.

    I'm no compu buff so the only thing I can think of is to update your windows, (I'm now using windows 7) or update your google to chrome.

    I alsao have an apple, but that didn't load after 200 either.

    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Switch to google chrome and click the 'Load more" link that appears at the bottom of all the comments. Worked for me at least (so far).

    ReplyDelete
  127. Got me white suit on. C'mon ye reds.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Arsenal v Spurs, comming up.

    For the first time in donkeys I'm actually pretty worried about it.

    It's a big day for Arsene, a bad showing later on will bring out the BBB's (boo and bleat brigade) kicking, screaming and bitching in full force. This has become a game that is much more then just 3 points, it even transends the importance that it is a local derby and the bragging rightes at stake.

    If ever Arsene has faced a must win game in his Arsenal tenure, then this is it. The outcome of this game could decide careers......

    No pressure, like....

    ReplyDelete
  129. Good luck AH.

    This time last year it was us up against an underdog in the final. Thankfully everything went to plan and lifting that trophy was the springboard to all our success today, meaning we retained all our best players and got us on track to clinch the quadruple this year..........

    Hang on..........

    OH FUUUUUCCCKKKK.

    Nevermind, I hope you fare better.

    ReplyDelete
  130. North London Derby!!!
    Play for Pride, Come on Gooners!!!

    ReplyDelete
  131. Will Bale gte extra points in the FFL for that briliant dive?

    ReplyDelete
  132. I thought that was Tom Daley playing

    ReplyDelete
  133. @H2H: No wonder Barca are interested in having Bale next summer.

    ReplyDelete
  134. very impressed with the Gunners, except TW

    ReplyDelete
  135. I just managed to see the last 5 minutes of the first half... how is the game going guys... 2-2 is not bad... better than i thought it would be actually.

    ReplyDelete
  136. What a cracker of a game for a neutral. Amazing stuff. To get arsenal to play that way 2 goals down against spurs, the manager must be doing something right.

    ReplyDelete
  137. so we were two down... good comeback it seems... who scored the goals?

    ReplyDelete
  138. Sally gunnel and mat Holland were both at my boys football match this morning. I had a wee bet with my mate whether they would acknowledge each others minor celebrity.

    They didn't so I lost.

    ReplyDelete
  139. A defelected goal from Saha + a dive from Bale (adebayour from the spot) gae them 2:0 then Sagna scored a header. RvP rounding off with a curler.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Sagna header & RvP left foot curler

    ReplyDelete
  141. Rosicky!!!

    First goal in 15 years. Briliant!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  142. Theo Walcott has found a team-mate with just 14 of his 103 crosses from open play in the league this season.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Doesn't matter who wins this one, spurs are clearly the better team.

    ReplyDelete
  144. SCOTT parker ...

    4-2. Even walcott gets in on the action

    ReplyDelete
  145. Yes as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, Scott parker looks like ah forget it

    ReplyDelete
  146. And now for cardiff fans only, the league cup final. If....


    5-2

    ReplyDelete
  147. AS I WAS SAYING , if Liverpool ....ah fahgeddaboudit

    ReplyDelete
  148. now, let's just hope Cardiff can pull off a similar upset!

    ReplyDelete
  149. Only if he's available on the cheap and he's currently playing in the French league.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Scott parker sent off for having a haircut like a footman out of brideshead revisited

    ReplyDelete
  151. Only as a last minute replacement for the widow of Zarephath's son

    ReplyDelete
  152. Well done Arsenal.

    Finally some of that spirit we're always hearing about.

    ReplyDelete
  153. We keep the bragging rights atleast for today. Well played boys!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  154. Well done arsenal.

    Now who to support...scouse racists or Welsh woollyback worriers ... and what half time snack to eat .... dog shit or cat vomit (my wife is a terrible cook)

    ReplyDelete
  155. Ladies & Gentlemen, the exhibition featuring the MASSIVE COJONES by the Arsenal is now over.

    In case you are interested in details, talk to your nearest THFC fans.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Many good points, apart from the 3

    Djourou wasnt playing, so the best pairing in defence

    MA, YB and TR all played better than previous performances

    TW came out for the 2nd half

    ReplyDelete
  157. Mashed spuds & a roast cockerel.

    perfect Sunday afternoon.

    ReplyDelete
  158. the longer it stays 0-0 Jim, the more likely it is that we'll have a draw!

    ReplyDelete
  159. As trotts predicted... all Liverpool then cardiff go one up...

    ReplyDelete
  160. woohooo off to plant some daffs!

    ReplyDelete
  161. nicely poised now, A Bellamy own goal would be perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Mickey Mouse Cup anyway. (congrats AH).

    ReplyDelete
  163. Second half not at all memorable as I slept through most of it

    ReplyDelete
  164. Bale dived to win the penalty but after the ref gave the decision then he should've sent off Cheesy Wotsit and Arsenal would've been down to 10 men and had a lot less chance of staging their stunning comeback. Discuss.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Colch,

    he shouldnt have given the penalty but a yellow to Bale for that dive.

    ReplyDelete
  166. charlie adam's penalty just flew over southern germany...

    ReplyDelete
  167. I think it just landed in my back garden spitster

    ReplyDelete
  168. SpitfireFeb 26, 2012 11:56 AM
    Colch,

    he shouldnt have given the penalty but a yellow to Bale for that dive.
    ------------------------------------------

    Couldn't agree more Spit, but having given the decision it had to be a red card.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Blimey, wasn't expecting to wake up to that scoreline. Well done to the Gooners. Hopefully the result has gone some way to putting the FA off our manager.

    And unlucky to Cardiff. I'd have loved them to have won it, but it wasn't to be.

    ReplyDelete