Sunday, 4 March 2012

As I Write It's TTFN AVB!

Not the best time of the week to be blogging but the Tyne-Wear derby’s on the box and well I don’t feel like I should be looking, really. It’s a bit like watching your neighbours’ pit-bulls tearing into one another, and after last night’s parmo I don’t have the stomach for it.

(I do, in fact, have an excellent stomach. Not so much ripped abs as a sympathetic pregnancy. Six-pack? I call it my one-pack.)

As a Boro supporter you might suppose that my indifference is a front for deep-seated envy – and you’d be right. Except that I know for a fact that the Riverside would be currently hosting six-pointers against former Lancastrian mill towns in crisis.

The way things are looking we might just be playing all three of them in the Championship come August: Wigan, Bolton and Blackburn. The managers of the last two have somehow maintained a chirpiness that I don’t associate with Glasgow – unless you’re from the green half in which case I’m guessing you’re already celebrating winning the Scottish League title – for the next five years .

Owen Coyle managed to watch a completely different game form the rest of the world at the Etihad. The realists witnessed one Mario Balotelli trying to prove that late-night clubbing is a crucial part of a top striker’s preparation. He scored in the end, and nicked a goal on Saturday too.

I’m sure Zat Knight behaved himself on Friday evening and then spent Saturday afternoon trying to pull Balotelli. Which he did, all over the penalty box. You’ve never seen a side so bored with the comfort of its victory and yet Coyle pointed to one brilliant save by Joe Hart and suggested that ‘had that gone in’ it might have been different.

You might Coyle’s in la-la land but to be fair he did have a bad night’s sleep after being awoken by the tooth fairy. He must know that Bolton were crap.

Blackburn are little better but they do have Paul Robinson leaping about the goal like some animated king-sized blanket. And if they do stay up it’ll be his fault. Kean continues to stride perkily around like a free-range bantam who hasn’t realised that someone’s stuck the words ‘Fox Food’ on his backside.

You can only assume their optimism is as forced as the smiles on the faces of people who have to shake the hand of Michael Gove in public. Maybe it’s a better stance than that of poor old Mick McCarthy whose last press interview as Wolves manager was the longest face seen since Ruud van Nistelrooy’s last trip to a hall of mirrors.

As for Wigan, well even Dave Whelan has broken cover on the subject. Martinez has unshowily kept a collection of rare finds and bit parts up for the past three years. There’s no point in kicking him out now. Whelan is one of the most supportive chairmen out there so it must be bad.

I told you it was a bad idea to start blogging now. Villas-Boas has just been sacked. End of project. You just have to wonder what Roman Abramovich thinks he’s doing.

Here’s a bloke who has, due to I’m sure the most upright procedures both morally and legally, walked out of the shadow of communism with his trousers stuffed with the sort of money even Carlos Tevez might have a problem conceiving of.

There’s not a thing Roman hasn’t been able to get, or rather buy... except the Champions League. Theoretically it ought to have its price, though, didn’t it? And if you’ve paid enough then why the hell has it not happened?

Well the first thing Roman can be certain of is that it’s not his fault. The first person to blame was that lousy tosser Mourinho. A few League titles and FA Cups – ha! Chicken feed (which is tangentially what Boris Johnson recently called his £240k a year salary as London mayor – which begs the question what the hell does he feed his chickens?)

And furthermore the Special One thought he knew best when it came to team selection. Who does he think he is?

Still at least Avram Grant did what he was told. But lost out to United twice over. And in the process made Mick McCarthy look like a children’s TV presenter.

That’s why you had to go for Scolari. You pillock, Abramovich! England were desperate to have him as manager – wasn’t that warning enough? Scolari’s team were like some mean-spirited next-door neighbour. They wouldn’t let you have your ball back but they wouldn’t do anything with it either. Your average shore-crab had more go-forward.

Hiddink was respected, but unfortunately respected himself too much to hang around while you told him how to do his job. Ancelotti stood it for as long as he could but sadly for him could only muster a League and Cup double. (For fuck’s sake!).

So then in your wisdom you make a long-term appointment. A manager who can talk, dress and crouch with some style but who looks like he’s got his coaching notes in a satchel along with his geography homework. Still give him time and let him work through the project, and the chippy old lags who don’t take kindly to some wet-behind-the-ears philosophy student giving it his best Wenger.

In short, I don’t blame AVB. He appears to be a nice bloke. He can’t be a terrible coach, it’s just he took on the stupidest job in football – working for a man who doesn’t realise that the joy of football is that it is played by human beings with all the frailty and uncertainty that that involves, and even your slush-pit of wealth doesn’t guarantee EVERY BLEEDING THING.

God help the next stooge!

235 comments:

  1. Just wanted to be the first!

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. because if it's been changed already the comment makes no fuckin' sense!

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  3. did Fernando Torres get fired too?

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  4. This comment has not been removed by the author.

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  5. SAF should appoint AVB as co-asstant manager alongside Phelan who will not get SAF's job when he retires. Groom him for the future: he would certainly make a better Man Utd manager than Mourinho, unless United decide to appoint that bloke who manages Everton FC...
    ________________________________
    I am not Anonymous, I am Profile

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  6. So whatever happened to Roman's summer plans - Villas, Boats...

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  7. Carrick looks like he's on the valium again.

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  8. Lampard getshis boss sacked. Let's hope his next boss gets his retaliation in first

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  9. Chelsea have got far too much rotten meat in their squad.

    Need to replace Terry, Lampard, Drogba immediately.

    Essien, Kalou, Malouda not setting the world alight either.

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  10. BREAKING NEWS
    di Matteo sacked!

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  11. Chelsea are a classless club. What does Roman know football... he intervenes just too much into footballing mattters than administer the club. Better have Silent Stan than Rogue Roman. As an outsider I feel players like Lampard, Cole, Drogba planned his downfall. Not much sympathy with AVB either as he didn't seem to have right attitude in man-management and press conferences. But he is still only 34 and has a long way to go... he can humiliate Roman by beating Chelsea in CL if he takes over at Inter. Having read swiss ramble for both Arsenal & Chelsea; it is certain that sacking manager is a costly option which Abramovic chose and it might further take this club from helping him realize his CL dream. Fans, real chelsea fans if there are any should stand up against his dictatorship or else prove they want to win things on arsehole's spending power.

    Rant over.

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  12. BREAKING NEWS
    Roman Abramovich installs himself as manager

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  13. BREAKING NEWS
    Roman Abramovich sacks himself as manager

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  14. BREAKING NEWS
    Roman Abramovich sacks next three managers to save time

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  15. If AVB takes charge of Port Vale it will be renamed as Porto Villa.

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  16. Lovely

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/27453474@N02/6803317392/in/photostream/lightbox/

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  17. @SpitfireMar 4, 2012: "Chelsea have got far too much rotten meat in their squad. Need to replace Terry, Lampard, Drogba immediately."

    Someone on the BBC Sunday LIVE suggested (tongue-in-cheek, I hope) that Terry + Lampard should be given the manager's job at Chelsea. Maybe the only way to get rid of them?
    ________________________________
    I am not Anonymous, I am Profile

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    1. I was just going to suggest that Anon, make the next three managers Terry, Lampard & Drogba.

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  18. I can't say I'm shocked to be honest. Roman strikes again! AVB wasn't exactly helped by the players' lack of fight/professionalism. #
    Feel sorry for AVB though he seems a decent bloke, no histrionics in press conferences or sly digs at other managers.

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  19. Mind you they can have 'Arry for all I care now. Fuck him for getting my hopes up. 8 goals cocended in two games my arse (and they got five of them!)

    Onwards to the National job then tally ho!

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  20. I have a suggestion for a manager for Chelsea.

    Vladimir Putin.

    Even Roman might think a couple of times before giving him the sack.

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  21. A lot of talk of Jose going back. Not so sure of that myself, but it would be interesting if he did. The old guard players who have contributed so much to AVB's sacking continue to worship Jose, still text him, etc etc. It would be the ultimate irony if he was to return to the club and then drop and sell these same players as they are past it.

    Just reading a lot of the comments on McNulty's blog. Chelsea fans want Abramovich out!! Ignoring the fact that he owns the club so who is going to sack him, but it is because of Roman that they have acheived any kind of success in the last 10 years. Without him Chelsea would be in the same position as Pompey, Rangers and blogs' Port Vale. Like it or not, they should be grateful for everything that he has done for their club. Without him, the majority of them would probably be Utd supporters.

    And I suppose I should make comment on the Utd/Spurs match. As soon as I saw the team sheet, I knew we had lost. Same thing happened last week with Kranjcar playing. Harry's team selections and tactics for the last few games have been so wrong. But our harder fixtures are out of the way now, so I guess we'll start to see if these last few losses are due to the opposition or to talk of Harry taking the England job disrupting us.

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  22. Clearly the Chelsea rebuilding has begun in the image of the 2010/2011 Bolton team. They took Sturridge back, they bought Cahill and next they might as well get Owen. We're only a few months away from them getting El Mandy.

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  23. Noel, the first half and the first 15 minutes (when i went to bed) of the Spurs-Un**ed game was similar to the Liverpool-Arsenal game... Spurs had all the play but United scored the goals.

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  24. Yeah Bo, it sounded like we deserved a draw, in terms of possession at least. But with Modric stuck on the left wing, and two defensive midfielders playing, I thought we'd struggle to create chances. Having two target strikers with only Lennon to supply them was a strange selection. Defoe offers some dynamism at least, as he proved when he came on. He should have started in my mind. And if Bale is unfit, we have Dos Santos who can play left mid. Don't put our best player there. It's like Gerrard playing left wing for England. So frustrating.

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  25. 3 City players in my ffl team and not one of the buggers play. Ba played but missed a penalty and got a yellow.

    FENTON!

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  26. Same problems here Spits. And not only that, but due to the NRL season starting and me therefore neglecting my FFL team, I still had Ba as captain from last week, whilst my normal captain RvP scores 2!

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  27. That tells you to have a little more faith in RvP's abilities.

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  28. Burglars are prohibited from entering or leaving the scene of a crime by the front door. - Lincoln, Nebraska, ordinance

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  29. The US Post Office printed a new 60-cent stamp in 1999 at a cost of $500,000 commemorating the Grand Canyon; it bore the words "Grand Canyon, Colorado.... one problem... the Grand Canyon is in Arizona.

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  30. G'day Jack... long time no see

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  31. It is illegal in Vermont to deny the existance of God. Atheists can be fined up to $200.

    I wonder, do they keep fining you until you become a believer?

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  32. No male person shall make remarksto or concerning, or cough or whistle at, or do anything to attract the attention of any woman upon traveling along any of the sidewalks. - Abiline, Texas, law

    Does it count if you step onto the road and do any of the above.

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  33. G'day Bo.Hoping to give you a ring on Friday.Will you be in?

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  34. Chelsea caretaker manager Roberto Di Matteo is even more unpopular with the club's players than Villas-Boas.

    ---

    giggle.

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  35. Poland suffers deadly train crash near Szczekociny.
    --
    gags invited, tag words: Szczezkniy, Suarez, penalty, dangerous, crashing down...

    BeeZee

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    1. What?? Szczeny and Koscielny collided in training??

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  36. Forgot to change my captain back to RvP too. Of all things, it remained on Ba whgot -2. Somehow, managed to arrest a slide of 6 losses in a row to manage a win and a creditable draw against SS. Actually had 2 players on negative points, ba and sessegnon. Thankfully, SS and I almost have the same team, so he suffered the same fate.

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    1. Yeah and that's my first draw game of the season too.


      Well who cares, Arsenal beat Liverpool ;)

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  37. Unconfirmed but been told its 8000 days since Liverpool last won the league.

    What I'm saying is, perspective, people.

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  38. I'll be here Jack... usual time?

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  39. Afternoon all.

    Thanks Robbo for another fine effort.

    After watching the Toon-Weird derby I came to the following conclusions;

    Lee Clatermole should of been sent off twice for that 1st minute challenge.

    Tiote's got a wobbly jaw, even though Sessignon (silly boy) did make contact with him, he fell to the floor in a fashion that even Suarez would of been proud of.

    Jumpy O'Neill is a much better manager then Mrs Doubtfire Bruce,but he still needs to teach his players how to tackle cleanly.

    Alan Pardew has also done a great job at Newcastle and I'd almost started to respect him, until he reminded me yesterday what a classlass knobend he can be.

    Bendtners crime fighting mask doesn't really help conceal his true identity.

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  40. As for AvB, well he lasted longer then I thought he would, poor guy never really stood a chance did he?

    Billed as a young, dynamic, Maureen 2.0, he came into a dreessing room of inflated egos with even larger inflated bank acconts, quite a few of whom were older then him. These Primadonnas (read cuntz) made a hard job nigh on impossible. Surely even a man as far up his own arse as Roman can see that a lot of the blame for their current position lays with the players. Many just have not performed.

    I know Lampard gets a lot bof the blame for being a major instigator, however I do believe he mostly gives it his best when he pulls on the shirt, the same can't be said about many others.

    Sturridge has been built up in a lot of corners, I've only really seen him in the last two games and he was pants in both. But he's still young and will improve, no doubt. The real culprits are the older players, some who must surely be reaching thier sell by date, some have even expired. Torres should be charged for gross breach of contract for impersonating a 50mill striker.

    But however you dice it, the real blame has to be laid at the feet of RA, it's his club and it's his rules, his goalposts that he keeps moving. Chelsea fans didn't complain when he started ploughing his cash in, well here's the other side of the ruble and proof that absolutly nothing in life is free.

    In search of success, ironically and hilarously, Chelsea have now gone from the Special One, to a guy who brought them to a CL final, to a World Cup winner, to a Champions League and domestic double winner, to an Europa League winner to the guy who got sacked from W.B.A.

    If Rafa gets the job next, I'll probably die laughing.

    On behalf of supporters of all the other PL teams I'd like to say thanks Roman, keep up the good work.

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  41. This has been the worst moment in all of Chelsea's long and established history of 8 years.

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  42. Future contract clause for anyone
    if sacked within 1 yr - 20 mil
    2yrs 10 mil
    3 yrs 5 mil

    See how you like that, Roman, but then thats just pocket money

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  43. 2 wins at the w/e due to the staple of RvP, Clint and Joe,and thanks Henry for not putting Silva on for a few mins, Cuellar comes of the bench

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  44. Doesnt matter for him Tone.

    He's paid 60 mil in the last 2 years on managers wages + hiring/firing them.

    Thats 10/12 years of SAF's pay + bonuses.

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  45. The really funny part of this is that we all know the Chelski squad needs new blood if they are going to qualify for Champions League going forward, so they have to spend money (on transfer fees and wages), which pushes up player amortisation, and therefore losses. They might have to spend so much qualifying that they get disqualified again under FFP.

    And spending £20-30m a year on sacking managers (getting rid of Ancelotti and paying Porto for AVB cost £28m) doesn't help.

    Gutted. couldn't happen to a nicer bloke than Roman (I've ripped £7bn off the Russian people) Abramovich.


    Jedi

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  46. H id like to see Big Sam or his Orange mate Brown at the bridge. That would also be v. funny. Or tommy lasorda or the chuckle brothers or my nan or ...

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  47. It's now 60 years since the vale won owt and that was micky adams 1952 victory in the,sack race

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  48. Good choices there Blogs, Big Sam told us it was easy at big clubs, so it would be nice to see him put his money where his mouth is, he'd first have to dislodge the pie there though.


    AH, well done sir, know your classics.

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  49. gazutd is alive and well on Twitter, H, I rotted him a few days ago. Always thought he was v. funny, personally and would like to see him back on here.

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  50. Rotted? Twotted. Or whatever the verb form of whatever the word is

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  51. Thank you H2. I have been trying to catch up with the BBC issues ever since I got here. I am also trying to wrap my head around (whatever that Americanism means) the fact that you used the words "nigh on" on this blog. Very literary.

    In other news, the FA are looking for nominees for the Respect award. My nominees. Suarez. KD. Macheda.

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  52. Actually unfair of me to cast aspersions on Macheda without knowing what he said. Anyone know what his actual 'homophobic tweets' said ?

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    1. I did spend a considerable amount of time trying to find that out AH, no luck

      --
      BeeZee

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    2. Yes - he said "Shhhhhhhhhh you little stupid gay!" (excuse me if I got the number of h's wrong). It's really shit that most news providers will tell the story but wont tell you what was said cos its "offensive".

      Rastafairy

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  53. AH, I had the same situation: Ba as my captain on -2, Sesseguson on -2, my lowest weekly score of the entire season - and yet claimed a win in one of the H2H leagues and climbed 5 places. I've had about 10 straight wins in that league and hadn't moved up a single place. Got spanked in the other H2H league though, and by the Pet Shop Boys no less, but still remained second behind Sqdr Ldr Spits.

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  54. You Sessegnon and Helgusson on as a single player Noel?

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  55. I enjoyed Gaz' stuff too, blogs. A bit too much up SAF's arse sometimes, but always good for a laugh.

    ===

    Aaah, the FFL, I didn't have time to touch my team for a few months, came back to find I was still third in Jacks H2H, I changed it up on Friday, haven't bothered checking yet, but I probably did great (famous last words)

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  56. You had * . Dammit, cant even be a wiseass successfully.

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  57. The verb, I believe, is "twatted" as in " I twatted him on Twitter".

    I'm signing up for the bring back Gaz campaign.

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  58. I'll sign up too, as long as I don't have to sign up to twitter.

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  59. I'm with you H, takes me all day to keep up with me own life so I'll be fucked if I'm gonna try and keep up with somebody else's.

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  60. Yeah AH, that's my cunning plan - I merge two players into one, so I've basically got a team of 22. And I still scored shite this weekend.

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  61. You bite on life like a chocolate bar but you soon realise its just a crock of shit.
    -forest gump out-takes

    I don't really mean that. I'm just trying to compete with H's literararary nigh on, forsooth

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  62. Twitter.... useful as a news feed for union business, for instance. my digital pseudo-pals jack and spit are over in the twilight world of pithy drivel, thats why I occasionally post something. SID WADDELL TWATTED ME and I had a funny real time exchange with jack the other day...none of us is on here enough for that to ever happen here. I mainly go for the pornbots though.

    I don't get the followers thing, I keep having to delete idiots who follow me then I have to read their drivel. Then they unfollow me in retaliation fucking nobs.

    Mostly it feels like yodelling into the void, digital rather than porcelain. It is what it is. (you have to day that with a French accent garlic shrug and an expodtulatory booof! )

    Merde!

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  63. Garlic* meant gallic but garlic is better

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  64. Oh yes just realised I'm the nob. I follow those who follow me, out of gratitude. Then I realise they talk drivel then I unfollow them then they unfollow me. It's like hegels master/slave dialectic in reverse.

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  65. Port Vale to go into administration today.According to player/coach last night some of the players,none of whom are being paid,can afford to drive to training.Sad times indeed in Burslem.

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  66. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/teams/port-vale

    http://www.thisisstaffordshire.co.uk/portvale

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  67. it isn't the end Blog, it's just a new beginning.





    ...........................................................................................(towers)

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  68. The answer to Chelsea's woes;

    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/chelsea-hires-supernanny-201203054969/

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  69. Not looking good for Bloggys boys, but on the otherhand administration is always better then liquidation.

    Of course the catch 22 is the loss of ten points that will take you into the bottom half, instead of fighting for the play offs which ironically would of been an extra cash cow.

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  70. I have a T-shirt that bears the legend "Twatter - Nobody cares what you had for breakfast". I shall wear it to the pub quiz tonight.
    Can I just say that the thought of Rafa at Chelsea fills me with anticipatory glee. SAVE RAFA!

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  71. Thanks guys. Gutted. Playoffs in reach n'all.

    It's not about the football of course its about my relationship with my home town, my childhood and my father. Who was a Stoke fan and would be pissing himself.....

    Same as they close the last (not really) oatcake shop

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-17251598

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  72. OK maybe just one tower. Don't want to be accused of hybris.

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  73. Awesome team put out by di matteo. lamps, drogba and terry (and sturridge for good measure) on the bench and he seems to have started with the same 11 that AVB used to favor.I wonder if anyone has ever sacked an interim manager before, and replaced them with another interim manager.

    Or RDM will win the FA, CL and 4th place with the same squad that AVB failed with, and then replace SAF at OT.

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  74. and SAF takes over at Bolton and Owen Coyle goes to Chelsea while AVB gets installed as England manager and Fabio Capello takes over from Sammi Lee at Bolton's academy, ably assisted by a recently resurrected Bill Shankly.

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  75. A great first half for the gunners... 3-0 (3-4 agg)

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  76. Fuck me..why am I getting so nervy? I support neither the gooners nor milan. What an awesome testacle for the neutered though, or rather spectacle for the neutral!

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  77. Ah well. Nice try gooners. Couldnt have done any more, I think everyone gave it everything they had.

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  78. Yes, AH, testacles indeed.

    Still, there is no 'expert' on the Dennis's Earth who'd give us a hope in hell of beating the champions elect Spurs, the messiahad Liverpool and the mighty AC Milan on the trot.

    We are the Arsenal. Even the failures are more stylish.

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    1. That last statement - Likes, #Re-tweet and every other feature from other social networking sites!!!

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  79. And if you are English and not mighty pleased with the Ox, then I dont want to know you.

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  80. Trouble in the north...

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17278479

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  81. But Benitez added: "I can understand that Chelsea fans want Mourinho but I have been very successful. If you ask Liverpool or Valencia fans, they would say they want me back."
    ==================================
    Er no they dont.

    I would dearly love to see Benitez given the chelsea job. I really would.

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  82. Still got an oatcake shop in Cheadle blogs.

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  83. Robbo, try googling "Santorum" and checking out the first hit. It gives the name an "interesting" new meaning!

    Good try by the Gooners last night. Too much to do from the first leg though (where thety were awful). That is a Spurs fan trying to be fair.

    AH, Rafa is getting like Yosser. Gissa job Roman.


    Jedi

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  84. Is rafa the new Chelsea manager already?

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  85. I'd love it to be Capello, it would be so so beautiful. I'd also love it to become similar to the situation at Wolves where all the people offered the job said "get to fuck" or as Brendan Rodgers so eloquently said yesterday "I want to build a career not destroy one". What a guy.

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  86. Almost. In fact we scored 1 goal more than my prediction. Arsenal never cease to amaze me… didn’t expect 3 goals in first half and then nothing in second. But RvP came close, Rosicky came close but it was just not meant to be. Anyways still very happy with the performance… I believe we have the momentum to finish the season strongly. I hope the players can just keep their belief and RvP keeps on scoring and 4th place will be ours eventually. Hope.

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  87. There's one opposite Hanley forest park best the Cheddar Cheese, jacks ..there's loads...there's one that recently closed on ford green road near where bristows Crafty Cockney used to be and there's ....actually the hanley ones the only one I know

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  88. Nice effort last night, if we can keep that up for the rest of the season we'll be fine.

    What a differance having two proper full backs in the team makes,that's three good wins against decent teams on the trot now.

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    1. Difference also made by having a decent playing surface.

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  89. Newcastle attacking midfielder Hatem Ben Arfa says he wants to become the new Cantona of English football.

    Full story: Daily Mirror

    Watch out for karate kicks on the terraces of SJP.

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    1. No chance H2.

      It's been renamed the Sports Direct Arena or something.

      There must be a few easy targets there though.


      Jedi

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    2. Yup. Must be nigh on impossible to miss the Fat Bastard.

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  90. It will always be SJP to me, Jedi, just like Arsenal's ground is Ashburton Grove and Spurs play at Shite Fart Lame. ;p

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  91. Sours one down at home to some League 1 thing.

    I LOLed. :)

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  92. and they are level.

    hey, they might nick it after all.

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  93. Messi should just do the decent thing and retire already. Let the mere mortals play this game.

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  94. He tried to and was informed it was against club policy to do the decent thing.

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  95. AVB just had no forward planning.

    After the game against Norwich, when Ruddy tried to do him a favour by getting rid of Drogba, he got himself drawn into making school girl comments about Paul Lambert.

    He just didn't know who his friends were...

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  96. Can you score a goal, fernando?
    I remember long ago another starry match like this.
    Have you got a clue Fernando?
    You were young and cheap and full of so much confidence....

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  97. there is only one solution to Torres's woes.

    Chelsea's should sell him for, say a million, to Arsenal.

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  98. Messi was born in a,secret Operation Werewolf Nazi genetic experiment in the heart of the Argentinian rain forest to produce the perfect Uber-player

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  99. Or for 50p to port vale, spits

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  100. Messi would have been the über-spieler but next time they are well advised not to wash 'em.

    Shrank him right up.

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  101. It would appear Arsenal have signed Pudolski.

    Ox, Pudolski, RvP, Walcott charging at you would surely be a fine sight for the age and ability of the Terrys and Carraghers of this world.

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  102. I'd hoped for signing Huntelaar but whatever...

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  103. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17295576

    Podolski for Ar***al it is then.

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  104. bad news about Port Vale ,oatcake with black pudding and mushroom

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  105. and a runny egg

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  106. And now Johnson, in his unlimited *very limited* wisdom has dug up the Suarez racist chant thing right back up (wasnt burried that deep anyway)

    Have LFC totally and utterly lost the plot?

    Why not get everyone sat down and tell them to shut the fuck up on this matter and it will just go away.

    Mental.

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  107. He accused Evra of being "clever" can´t remember that ever happening before.

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  108. What I would like to know is with liverpool playing 2 games in the space of 4 days..how the fuck do they have time to do interviews..should he not be training and practicing tapping in frm 6 yards every single minute of spare time that he has?

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  109. There is some good news for Liverpool fans though.

    I heard a rumour that they have found a sponser who is willing to fund their move to a new ground. I´m not sure, but I think the firm works with energy, gas or electricity or something like that as their slogan has the words "white power" in it.

    The new stadium is to be called K.K.KLAnfield.

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  110. YNWA.. Ya'll Never Walkout Alive.

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  111. Has Arsene got himself a brand new iPod(olski)

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  112. he's good but not good enough to replace Rip Van Persil

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  113. Phew, definitely could've been a peno there.

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  114. Alternative personality fuck off!!

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  115. what a brilliant game that was, eh?

    mental.

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  116. Yeah Spit, thought Standard Liege might just nick it at the end.

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  117. United just have to do anything that City do nowadays.

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  118. Anyone else fed up about hearing about David Walliams swimming for charity? I know I am. Big fucking deal.

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  119. me too Rod, let's have more Roger Federer coverage eh.

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  120. Capello for Chelsea then; replace some players with Italians, the likes of Zolas or Viallis maybe. Those Italians fare better in European competition than the English anyway. That's what Czar Roman Abramo want, right? Success in European campaign?

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  121. Both Manchesters lost in Europa last night. Hahaha.

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  122. Rahul Dravid. Gentleman of a cricketer. One of world's best #3 batsman...defined test cricket and played his role to perfection in most of India's successful partnerships. A perfect foil to likes of Ganguly, Sehwag, Laxman and Sachin.

    Adios "Jammy"

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  123. Have to agree, SS, Dravid a total class act, as both a cricketer and a human being.

    If the BCCI has any sense or appreciation of the finer points of cricket (which is debatable) they will keep him involved with Team India in some capacity, perhaps mentoring the likes of Rohit Sharma, Suresh Raina and Virat Kohli. They could all learn something from him.


    Jedi

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  124. Dravid's final press conference

    "My approach to cricket has been reasonably simple: it was about giving everything to the team, it was about playing with dignity and it was about upholding the spirit of the game. I hope I have done some of that. I have failed at times, but I have never stopped trying. It is why I leave with sadness but also with pride."


    And succeeded a lot, I would add.


    Jedi

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  125. Anyone watch the United game last night? Bilbao were awesome but the refs decision to award the free kick that led to the 3rd goal was unreal. I know everyones jumping on the "United were shite at home in Europe again" bandwagon but Bilbao were awesome.

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  126. Rod,
    United were shite at home in Europe again & Bilbao were awesome... same thing really!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not really the same thing at all. Bilbao's second goal was offside as well! But hey-ho life goes on. At least we haven't shipped 8 in a game. ;)

      Delete
    2. Massive difference between 6-1 and 8-2 I guess.

      Delete
    3. About the same difference between 19 and 18 I guess.....

      Delete
    4. So you agree that its not much then? Good.

      Delete
  127. In 1871, Tucson, Arizona, was the heart of the Wild West, and boasted 3000 people, 2 doctors, a newspaper, a brewery, and several saloons - but just one bathtub.

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  128. "No person shall knowingly keepor harbor at his house or her house within the city any woman of ill-repute,lewd character, or common prostitute.... other than wife, mother, or sister." - Ashland, Kentucky, ordinance


    I suppose if it is your wife, mother or sister, you would get a cut-rate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In Kentucky it´s extreamly likely that sex is occuring between dudes with their mothers or daughters.

      Good night John Boy.
      G´night Cousin Dad.

      Delete
  129. North Carolina - "While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled."

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  130. South Carolina "It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide."

    So just to be sure, make sure someone is close to you, kill them first?

    ReplyDelete
  131. In Germany,

    "if a public officer dies while on a work related journey, the journey ends."

    ReplyDelete
  132. OMG Blog - Vale in Admin :(

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  133. dang used different email account

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  134. Wiht the ever dwindling attendance and internal bickering, can Port Vale survive long term?

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  135. In New Jersey it is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

    You have been warned!

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  136. fbh. i know mate. not the first time though. we'll probably survive. we might not tho. if vale perish so shall blogdignag. not me tho just the stoopid blog name.

    ReplyDelete
  137. blimey 8.42 in the morning. this day is really dragging.

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  138. 8:43 a.m. FUCK!

    means the work day just started?

    FENTON!

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  139. when the manchester clubs get knocked out of europa then where do they cascade down to. the blue square? where does it end? will they end up playing in the under 11s Essex cup?

    ReplyDelete
  140. Eric joyce MP avoids prison for beating up four politicians

    avoids prison? i want him knighted!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eggsactly.

      and to think people want him tried the way the tottenham rioters were tried.

      They were from TOTTENHAM, geddit?

      Delete
  141. Its grand it just turned 4:45pm. Weekend is here. Apparently Pat Sharp is DJing uppa town tonight, hopefully the twins may make an appearance! Especially now as the husband of one died of cancer and the other got divorced! The lifelong dream is still possible!!

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  142. it's all kicking off down your way, rod! Pat Sharp eh? wowza! (who?)

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  143. keith chegwins opening a garden centre, somewhere this weekend

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  144. Guns n roses played down in philly last week. Tried getting tickets then realized I dont really like GnfR.

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  145. Bless you, TrotterUSA.

    SAVE MONEY!

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  146. how did you know I've bin sneezin'?

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  147. bin sneezin.

    a cold war muslim terrorist?

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  148. chucklesome, it's a fluid situation H.

    Now to settle in for the big game. Come on Ye Whites!

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  149. So Barton has a goal disallowed rendering me confused as to whether goal line technology is a good thing or bad.

    Confused, I say.

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  150. big fuckin deal, it was over the line, Zamora had his arm up Bogdan's ass like he was the artificial inseminator.

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  151. Indeed, come on you trotters.

    Mark Hughes belongs in the Chumpionship.

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  152. and don't get me started on that cunt Pra......oh, hang on

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  153. Take that. Mark Bellend Hughes.

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  154. John Terry starts for Chelsea, with Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba reinstated to the starting eleven´

    Way to shake things up Di Matteo.

    If you look closely you should be able to see the strings.

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  155. Well,I'm stunned.

    Just had a text from AdamPSB.

    He's got through the first round of X Factor auditions.

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  156. What tricks will he be doing Jacks?

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  157. Please not a tribute one man cover band.;)

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  158. 4th place definitely in the bag.

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  159. Last time spurs lost 3 in a row, redknapp replaced ramos.

    In related new, next time Liverpool lose 3 in a row will probably be tuesday, following which henderson will still command a place in the starting 11.

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  160. Getting down to the business end of the season and Spurs seem to be stuttering. I would have thought having aspirations for a top three finish, games against Everton, although always tricky when playing at Goodison Park, you would be expecting at least a point.

    Well done the Trotters, dragged themselves out of the relegation zone with a win against fellow strugglers QPR.

    Agreed H2, Hughes, along with a few other ex Un**ed players turned manager, belong in the lower divisions

    ReplyDelete