Monday, 26 March 2012

Near-Death Becomes Us All

My God this season has seen football take a battering. Tevez and his touchline tizz; JT and co undermining the manager, plus his own ongoing court battle which has seen his legal team preparing request to deny the court lip-readers; Luis Suarez, his hands unwrung and unshaken and his club's absurd support; the peerless ruination of clubs by the blind staggering inebriates in charge of Portsmouth and Rangers (and Darlington, come to that).

"Hands up who likes Luis?"

We’re about to enter a new phase of churlish shit-stirring as the Mancs lock horns over the Premier League run-in. Mancini was furious after his team’s visit to Stoke on Saturday, as if he was surprised that Pulis’s pit-bulls crashed into his delicate vases like chimps armed with claw-hammers. It is what they do.

I don’t see Citeh winning it. I really don’t. It’s called bottle and there’s a lot of muddled heads running around in sky blue right now, not least upfront. If Balotelli’s not plodding around like a bewildered foal you’ve got Dzeko doing an impression of Dimitar Berbatov, but with less finesse and half the work-rate.

Ferguson meanwhile ploughs his team onward. The squad that couldn’t beat Basle or Bilbao should have more than enough to win the title in this substandard year.

But... Well sometimes all this crap gets turned on its head. Of course it takes something truly horrendous to do it. On this occasion it was the apparent death and miraculous resurrection of one Fabrice Muamba.

I haven’t prayed for the lad, cos I don’t know who to address the remarks to. Often when God gets involved in this sort of thing He gets the credit for the upsides but never the condemnation for the cardiac arrest in the first place.

All I’ve done is offered up my warmest hopes to the man and his family. But, whatever the cause of Muamba’s remarkable survival, be it the brilliance of medical practitioners at White Hart Lane and the London Chest Hospital, or the divine intervention of the beardy mysterious mover upstairs, the knock-on effect has been brilliant.

Football fans have united – poor choice of word as it’d be nice to do without United – have ‘come together’. Numpties who commonly crowd the terraces and think supporting a football club is a simple act of badmouthing the opposition have sung, chanted, daubed on sheets, the name of a fellow human being who nearly died playing the game we all love.

Footballers and managers, in particular at Bolton Wanderers, have proved themselves to be genuine, eloquent human beings.

Owen Coyle has been a model of dignity and responsibility. This has not been an easy season for him. Maybe Muamba’s near-fatality has put the trauma of a relegation dog-fight into the perspective it deserves.

Top man.

Kevin Davies, a man whose elbows would be handed in if Greater Manchester Police declared an amnesty for dangerous weapons in the Bolton area, has been immense. This is a club captain who has spent much of the season warming a bench. He’s not refused to get his tracky bottoms off when called upon. Davies wondered aloud why it takes something like this to bring people together. I agree.

Except there’s a little more to it than that. It’s more a case that those fans, the huge majority, who simply go along to suffer or celebrate are the ones whose true opinion has come to the fore.

This vast majority is the teeth-clenching cringers bowing their heads as some half-brained bollock hollers some obscenity at a member of a different ethnic group. It’s the happy band of travellers that find no amusement in references to Heysel, Munich or Hillsborough; that doesn’t feel the need to question the officials’ parentage, even if they are doing a shit job at the time; that can shrug helplessly if someone waltzes past their wooden back four and fires it in from twenty-five yards.

Of course some’ll say it’s only a bit of terrace banter. Well not if, for example, you’re at Craven Cottage happily chanting that Mohammed Al Fayed’s son is dead. Or you’re bawling out the usual grim witless stuff cos Tottenham Hotspur are paying you a visit.

There’s a folly in believing that them that shout loudest are the true representatives of a particular group. Those that hollered the name of Fabrice Muamba over the past nine days or so are the heart and soul of football:
those that weep every other week; that married their second love, cos football never says 'yes' when asked.

Personally, I’m fed up with all the seething malice that sticks to footy like so much clag to the side of a men-only household’s pan. It’s pointless. I think there is a lot in football to feel frustrated about. Luis Suarez encapsulates it perfectly. Half the time he is a sinuous swivel-hipped genius. Half the time he’s a racist cheat. As for John Terry... well there’s only so often you can read the word ‘allegedly’ before the whole paragraph loses its meaning.

At the Reebok, football didn’t seem to matter much. Except that young Fabrice apparently saw his team-mates winning a football match on Match of the Day and I’m sure that helped him immeasurably. And that it was a match entirely blessed by Muamba’s family, who know, despite their son and partner’s circumstance, the importance of football.

So, off we pop to watch the next instalment of ours and our team’s life. Momentarily, but hopefully for longer, it’ll be with a greater sense of what unites football fans than what divides us. It’s getting too Biblical to say that a near-death and resurrection did that. Despite the dives, dodgy deals and downright dirt, football is bloody brilliant. As are most of the people who play it and watch it.



Get well soon, Fabrice.

208 comments:

  1. Also, well said. Plenty of mention about the idiots who spout offensive chants and whatnot... how about some cheer for the wittier elements? Any favorites?

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  2. If Balotelli’s not plodding around like a bewildered foal you’ve got Dzeko doing an impression of Dimitar Berbatov, but with less finesse and half the work-rate.

    ----


    as if.

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  3. Top stuff Robbo. Get well soon Fabrice, and a quick mention for Dr Andrew Deaner (the heart specialist in the crowd at WHL).

    Stephen, on the chants, I thought the Spurs fans' greeting to Liam and Noel Gallagher was a good one. "You're just a sh1t Chas 'n' Dave". Craig Charles (of blessed memory) used to collect them.


    Jedi

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  4. Nice blog Robbo.

    as someone else pointed out already,

    Shankly got it wrong after all.

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  5. And in case you missed it, a FUCK OFF to the Glenn Hoddle for England campaign.

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  6. Spit, I think there's only one supporter of the "Glenn Hoddle for England campaign". Trying to remember his name.

    Oh yes, G Hoddle.

    Jedi

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  7. you had 2 weeks off Robbo ??
    good blog worth waiting for, maybe Eileen asked Hoddle to apply !!!

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  8. Top blog from a brilliant blogger.

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  9. The blog is well articulated in terms of the bad and the good in football. Feels so much better to read this than Top 4 run-in drivel.
    Brilliant Robbo!

    (as ever)

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  10. Just to let you know, the Spurs website says that each player in the FA Cup "replay" tomorrow night will sign the shirt they wore for the game, with the shirts to be auctioned via the Spurs E Bay site to raise money for the following 3 charities (cash to be distributed equally):

    British Heart Foundation: The nation’s heart charity, dedicated to saving lives through pioneering research, patient care, campaigning for change and by providing vital information - more information - www.bhf.org.uk - CLICK HERE...

    Pan Africa Heart Foundation: A Pan-Africa charity that targets the primary prevention and specialised treatment of cardiovascular disease - more information - www.panahf.com - CLICK HERE...

    C.R.Y – Cardiac Risk in the Young: A charity that raises awareness of conditions that can lead to Young Sudden Cardiac Death and Sudden Death Syndrome - more information - www.c-r-y.org.uk - CLICK HERE...

    Seems like the right thing to do.


    Jedi

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  11. *A dof of the cap in Robbos direction*

    Well done sir, one of your best.

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  12. good stuff Robbo!

    Spurs have an ebay site? Is it managed from the Cayman Islands?

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  13. Muambas experience has struck a chord, the pathos, fragility, transience of life. We're all on the infidels by-pass to oblivion (hilariously so are our pious pals they've just convinced themselves otherwise) so we ought to be a bit nicer to each other on the way.

    Muamba is a blameless and decent young man. He doesn't deserve sudden death any more than anyone else does. But that would suggest that all lives are of equal value, and we know that isn't true.

    There are limits to this universal fellowship and if I saw kony, Sarah palin, Michael gove, suarez, the Steven Lawrence killers, Jim gannon, john Chapman, mugabe, the stoke city first team and the like crossing the carriageway I would be sorely tempted to put my foot down

    E.g. if john terry had had a heart attack would football have become so suddenly loved up? Id like to think so, he's never killed anyone has he, however....

    It's quite a good moral measure ain't it? If you had a sudden heart attack what would the reaction be? It could be quantified in Muambas, the new unit of human value.

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  14. Damn Blogs, that's deep.

    Print it on a T-shirt.

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  15. In the same qualified expression of universal fellow feeling, can I suggest that whoever authored the cover of this man utd fanzine (18.53 entry) should be taken out and beaten compassionately.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/competitions/premier-league/9162675/Manchester-United-v-Fulham-live.html

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  16. I think that's a bit harsh Blog. Couldn't you just cut out Sarah Palin's tongue?

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  17. Thanks H, and now for a nob joke....

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  18. Pretty surprised that the Telegraph would allow someone to post that.

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  19. How insensitive of a section of United fans to even publish that article. And then there was another fella who tweeted racist comments in drunk state of mind.

    Probably they are just trying to be heroes and it could be all publicity stunt.

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  20. Ta Blog. Will tweet that piece of crap.

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  21. Opposition denied clear penalty at Old Trafford to get a point out of the game. Kind of thing that creates conspiracy theories.

    Now to read the blog.

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  22. Cracking blog as ever, Robbo.

    I was also thinking the same thing yesterday, bloggidy - if it was Suarez who had the heart attack, what would the reaction be? You'd think it would be similar, although with a little less enthusiasm maybe.

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  23. Not long ago England took over India's position of being test #1 team and since then they have lost series against Pakistan and 1st innings in bad shape against Lankans today. The curse of being test #1 team carries on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least england can still bowl.

      And they are consistent against spin.


      Jedi

      Delete
  24. I need 337 more points in next 8 game weeks to surpass my best ever FFL score of 1961 I achieved in 2007/08 season.

    Average 42 points per game week - achievable I think so? :)

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  25. H2H league is still close to call. The race for top 2 finish is on, Noel, what say??

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  26. NoelMar 26, 2012 02:13 PM


    I was also thinking the same thing yesterday, bloggidy - if it was Suarez who had the heart attack, what would the reaction be?
    ====

    We'd all have to wait to see if he was faking it.

    If he was clutching his shin, which he always does no matter where he's tackled (it's true, check it out) then we'd Know he was OK (well as OK as he can be, the twat)

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  27. Sunderland striker Nicklas Bendtner has scored three goals in his last five matches - despite not being able to see thanks to his mask.

    Full story: Daily Mail
    ===
    Aaaaah, so that was his problem.... vision.

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    Replies
    1. And there was I thinking it was an inability to hit a cow's arse with a banjo. Just shows how wrong you can be.


      Jedi

      Delete
  28. That and his ego getting in the way H.

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  29. In gooner circles he is known TGSTEL. (The Greatest Striker That Ever Lived) A name he gave himself ofcourse.

    Funnily enough, I always liked the guy.

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  30. He'd be great at Portman Road in fairness,but if he was made of chocolate,he would eat himself.

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  31. I can announce some rather fantastic news.

    FBH has got engaged.

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  32. Fantastic blog. Must admit that I for one am a bit sick of the anti-City and anti-Liverpool chanting that goes on at Old Trafford week after week. It's getting boring as you say, but unfortunately the silent majority seem to have to suffer it.

    Get Well Soon Muamba.

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  33. Wow, congrats to Mr FBH and the soon to be Mrs FBH.

    I haven't looked at the FFL for a few weeks now SS, since the NRL started up again I've got my fantasy team fix from that instead. Last time I looked I was atop both the Robbo league and Jacks' league, and doing ok in both H2H. Obviously, whichever format I finish higher up in is the one that I shall say I was playing for.

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  34. Today big news is Robbie Williams is looking to buy Michael jacksons old gaff.

    Bit worried about the boy Williams. Even more worried that the 25$ million dollars could rescue the vale from liquidation, 25 times over, and we could have bubbles the chimp up front to boot. Tevez? Suarez? Bubbles better looking by far.

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  35. On the subject of Tevez, I just watched Taxi Driver again. For Mancinis sake I hope Tevez Fickle aka Travis bickle hasn't seen it. Might get ideas

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  36. Congrats to FBH!

    Another Free Brother succumbs.

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  37. It's not Tracy Blogs,no.That's Adam's squeeze.

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  38. As for Tevez doing a Travis Bickle,I don't think he'd fit in the taxi.

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  39. Heeey Seeenooor,

    Aar joew tocking to me?

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  40. So FBH is willing to reattach the ol' ball and chain.

    No once bitten twice shy for him, I see.

    Good luck with that mate, you're gonna need it.














    Only joshing, congratulations me ol'china.

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  41. I think you'll find it was FBH's "CD Collection" she was after seeing. I only do dancing (and the X-Factor)

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  42. BTW though - Congratulations to FBH - I see the George & DRagon losing a regular Tuesday night customer or two as a result

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  43. You are a little modest there Adam.

    Twice we do a Robbo blog night out.

    Twice Adam has the ladies buzzing around him.

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  44. Congrats FBH, what clinched it? Does she have a private box at the Boro? Does she own a parmo shop? When's the wedding? Make sure it doesn't coincide with the paly-offs eh.

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  45. Congratulations, good luck FBH!

    Trotts, they must have hooked up when she stayed late in one of his private typing classes :P

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  46. aye, it seems that in this day and age a spell checker means more to a girl than a swell pecker.

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  47. "Fantastic blog. Must admit that I for one am a bit sick of the anti-City and anti-Liverpool chanting that goes on at Old Trafford week after week. It's getting boring as you say, ...."
    -------
    Ever tried the anti-Man U chanting going on just about everywhere?

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  48. well, 41 minutes all even in the first game, we should have gone back to the Reebok after 49 minutes of this one!

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  49. as always great blog. funny, insightful, honest and from the heart

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  50. In the big game last night we should have won.Missed a penalty,dominated play.Never mind.A point is a point.

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  51. Football NEWS: Ex-Ipswich star, Paul Mariner, famous for writing poems about his team-mates, has been arrested on suspicion of Wark rhymes.

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  52. So Caviar is untaxed but you pay taxes on a pasty?

    I dont want to live in this country anymore....

    hang one,.. I dont.

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  53. To be fair spits only pastys below ambient temperature are vat able. they plan to crack down on tax avoidance by pie moguls with rigged thermometers

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  54. So tax in winter but no tax in summer?

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  55. in fact, in 26 games this year, we only got a point, twice!

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  56. no, 29 games, nevermind, you get the point.

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  57. shame the vale game was abandoned due to fire with us just one down with 20 mins to go heh heh

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  58. That would be fair, spit, who wants a hot pie in summer, give me an icecream and a long cool lager with ice cubes, served by a naked Scandinavian with tits like the eiger, but in winter hot pies always sell like hot ...hang on, change that saying

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  59. Oi! why would you put ice cubes in yer lager?

    I'd have none of that!

    make sure it's cold before you pour it.

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  60. "Cameron said the Government wanted to "properly police" the hot baked goods industry. "

    He's got to be taking the cornish pissty. And not even nice old cornish patsy Vincent cable popping up to argue for the exemption of puff pastry

    It's probably smoke and mirrors as the controversial Sell the NHS bill passes into law if course. If you shake a Tory's hand count your fuckin fingers afterwards. Bastards.

    Ever likely the Scots want independence. Fried mars bars are now projected to raise more for the exchequer than north sea oil in 2012/13

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  61. This is to endorse my unions calls that you don't store petrol in jerry cans in your garage. If you have a fire you've planted a little bomb in there for us, thank you very much.

    If you have to store panic bought petrol, for christs sake keep it in the bath like I do.

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  62. Shouldn't joke about these things. But like my dad used to say, fight fire with fire.

    He didn't last long in the fire brigade.

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  63. BBC at it again...teeheehehe
    http://www.goal.com/en/news/9/england/2012/03/28/2998612/manchester-city-ban-bbc-reporter-over-vieira-interview

    --BeeZee

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  64. I just read the Dan roan interview, bz and would suggest to man c that they withdraw viera from dealing with the press cos he ain't very good at it

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  65. haha, I read that article and thought Vieira was probably correct, he didn't just say United, he said the "big" clubs of which City want to be one. Obviously this is the case. Nothing wrong with that article, well done Dan Roan, he should be the new Chief Football Writer.

    Blog, can I store my petrol in my neighbour's garage?

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  66. trott keep your valuable petrol stored inside your neighbours daughters teddy. No one will think to look there.

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  67. Rooneys overdone the hair transplant this time
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-17315918

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  68. just got the new gaffe today Blog, dunno if they have any daughters yet! Give me a day or two.

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  69. Fuck..this moving house thingy is a larf isnt it. Blimey..if my employer so me work this hard, he'd be shocked out of his wits.

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  70. AH,

    why dont you leave the house where it is and just move they stuff you need to your new place?

    Might save you a load of shifting.

    here to help.

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  71. Well an interesting few days in planet football.

    I think the whole mind games from Citeh are getting embarrassing now. Everytime its so transparent what they're doing. To be a master you have to choose your moments and be a little tactful.

    Yes United were jammy over the penalty decision but as SAF rightly points out these things even out over a season. And the whole thing about United getting all the decisions as I've stated here several times is a myth that unfortunately a lot of people have been duped into believing.

    The ref who sent off Neil Lennon in the Old Firm may be in trouble because apparently due process wasn't followed and he hasn't offered an explanation for doing it. Does this mean corruption in Scotland goes beyond Rangers and the SFA? Are the refs in on it as well? I don't think I've followed Scottish football anywhere near as much as now.

    And this may sound insensitive, inhumane and maybe even borderline racist but ENOUGH of the Muamba tributes. Its amazing the work all the paramedics did, hes done really well to stay alive and it was touching how people reacted. But come on, its been over a week and he didn't even die AND hes not even that great at football. Something similar happened to a player in the SPL last season and there wasn't anything like the reaction we got this week. And he died.

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  72. Rod, I am indeed very sorry to say that I agree with most things you've said. Except that the Muamba tributes should have nothing to do whether or not he was a good footballer. I am even more suprised by the tributes for Coyle. What did he do that was so great or that any other manager wouldnt have done ?

    Spits thanks for the advise mate. Dont know why I didnt think of that .

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  73. Its ok AH, living within the realm of reality can be a cold and desolate place at times but at least you know you're right.

    On Coyle getting praise, I guess its all part of the official public nationwide grieving process to slap all the people close to the deceased on the back and.....oh wait, thats right hes still alive. Um....yeah dunno. Sure Howard Webb got an avalanche of praise because he made the difficult and brave decision to point towards the tunnel. I can't help but feel its all been a little over the top, and maybe even a little fake. I haven't got a good taste in my mouth anyway...but I was at a pub quiz last night drinking Guinness.

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  74. Vettel calls Karthikeyan an idiot, who retorts saying Vettel is a 'cry baby'. Whoever said F1 is not interesting.

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  75. They have football in Scotland? I thought they stopped bothering years ago and just let Rangers and Celtic battle it out, with the team who could make the most un pc chant over sectarianism winning.

    ========

    We keep our spare petrol in our neighbours cars.......

    It sucks getting it out though.

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  76. Worrying though it is, I agree with Rod too. The hand wringing and "aren't we all wonderful" stuff has to stop. Happily, Muamba is alive and getting better. If you're going to do something, make it practical (like Spurs auctioning the players' shirts for heart charities).

    Scottish football is a joke. There have only ever been 2 teama who can win the league, due to finances, and the SPL is rigged to keep it that way. And there will be a Rangers in the SPL next season, not because there should be (their financial rigging over the last decade breaks SPL rules by the dozen), but because the Sky contract requires Old Firm derbies.

    H2 says:

    We keep our spare petrol in our neighbours cars.......

    It sucks getting it out though.

    No, H2, you suck. That's how you fill up.

    Finally on the cricket, I see England lost their last 6 wickets for 31. Just like old times.



    Jedi

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  77. They have football in Scotland? I thought they stopped bothering years ago and just let Rangers and Celtic battle it out, with the team who could make the most un pc chant over sectarianism winning.

    ----------------------

    Strictly speaking Celtic fans don't sing sectarian chants, they sing Irish rebel songs. Some of which are offensive, I'm not a huge Celtic fan(being an Irish catholic you have an affinity with them) but I think its unfair to have Celtic fans in the same league as Rangers fans. Neil Lennon was not allowed to sit in the stands after being sent off in the old firm derby as the police could not guarantee his safety. Where else in Britain would this happen?

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  78. Much as I despise Manpoo, I would rather have them win the title than the (realtively bigger) money-bags at city and chelsea, and I might be looking at it with that in mind, but from what I have seen of the penalty incident, I do not think it is a penalty at all, Murphy dived plain and simple (or the softer MOTD version of 'waiting for contact to go down', ffs will you call a dive a dive for once), and his dive was not believable enough either, the direction of impact and the direction of his tumble do not add up, he should take lessons from Suarez on that ,
    but i knew at that moment that every one would make a big deal out of it given the circumstances, and not really look at the incident itself,
    ah well we are in 3rd place who the fuck cares about anything else...

    --BeeZee

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  79. Been away, only just read the blog. All very well said Robbo, and "Muambas, the new unit of human value" has to be the best phrase I've read in a long time. Well done, that blog fella.

    On an entirely different note, does anyone know where Francis Maude parks his car? I think we should all go piss in his tank. Twat.

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  80. Very smart jedi....

    Although that was kind of the joke.

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  81. Roger, I hope he's not parked anywhere near me.

    Petrol tastes dirty enough as it is.

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  82. Arsenal & Manure last 7 games:WWWWWWW. Man City last 7 games: WWWLWWD. Chelsea last 7 games: DLWLWLD. Liverpool last 7 games: ROFLMAO

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  83. http://www.goal.com/en-us/news/174/uefa-champions-league/2012/03/29/2999564/barcelona-complains-to-uefa-over-ac-milans-poor-san-siro
    -------------------------
    Barcelona complain about Milan pitch and UEFA is expected to ask Milan for an explanation about the poor state of the pitch following Barca's complaint.

    Same thing when we said, Arsene gets a match ban. Wow, why these double standards?

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  84. Fk - can't get the Reply button to work, must be my crap browser...Anyways Jacks...arf and indeed arf! 'kin Kenny's record is as bad as Woy's, so how long before the hordes turn on him? I'm not holding my breath...

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  85. eggsactly SS, if it was bad last night (and it was), it was downright terry when we played there, you wont see as many players slip in a years worth of footy watching as you could in one match, it was disgraceful, but apparently Milan could not help it being this way coz of the snow and all before that, me wonders if they learnt a trick by chance from that and will keep it that way for every crucial match against a better side, coz to be fair their quality did get found out on the return leg against us, as it will be against the catalans,

    --BeeZee

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    Replies
    1. Given the state of the pitch it was still a very good match. Milan fought hard against rampaging Barca side, if not for Nesta and Ambrosini Barca would be taking 3 goal advantage to Camp Nou. And there was also a clear cut penalty denied to Barca when keeper clipped Sanchez. Even Milan had plenty of good chances at other end with Robinho and Zlatan missing out on scoring from good positions.

      Messi got so frustated at the end of the game, that was quite unusual to see. he's normally cool and unruffled. If Milan defenders think they have scored 1 up on him mentally, they should beware - Messi magic might just come back to haunt them in return leg. Either ways looks like Chelsea v Barca semi finals.

      Delete
  86. Some good news for Blogs.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17549329

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  87. If Romans kgb pals slip some polonium-210 in messis powerade and Franco's team overcomes the nazis in the semis, it will be catalans vs charlatans in the final.

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  88. Cheers jacks.

    3 bids eh.12p. 22p. Preferred bidder: 23p

    The vale administrators have wittily named themselves after the sports footwear of the thug in Trainspotting. Begbies Traynor.

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  89. Roger, why thank you. I might post seriously more often.

    Coming soon, a trilogy of football cultural theory..... 'Mario Balotelli and the teleological suspension of the ethical.' 'Carlos Tevez and the Architectonics of Answerability'. And 'Luis Suarez, what a Cunt'.

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  90. The pie backlash against Cameron and the Upper Crust which has been Filling the media is getting Pasty a joke for the Tories who are now starting to risk they'd trumpetted the privatise and dismantle the NHS bill as a way of sneaking the pie tax into law

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  91. haha, Rod, what the fuck, it's been a great story and Owen Coyle handled it all very well. Bet you can't wait for the book to come out. Do you want hardback or paperback?

    and that Danny Murphy thing wasn't a penalty, he was slamming the brakes on looking for a pen. Either that or he wanted shaftin' by Carrick.

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    Replies
    1. Most penalties are the result of the attacking player duping the defender into touching him.I've seen them given more than not given. Its pretty terrible but true. I've always wondered how you can have South American footballers who are incredibly religious yet they dive all over the place. Don't they know dives make baby Jesus cry?

      On the Muamba book, I think I'll pass. Already know how it ends.

      Delete
  92. Too agnostic! Admit it, God didn't strike him down and didn't save him. Why sit on the fence (even if slightly sarcastically so)? A cardiac malfunction struck him down and good doctors saved him. Simple as that. Nice, philosophical tone otherwise and indeed true of the ridiculous nature of a minority of moronic fans.

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  93. God didn't strike him down? Who was it then, Gareth Bale again? Bloody ref missed that one too.

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  94. God does exist and he's a malicious cunt.

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  95. blog,

    if
    messi = over-rated
    and
    god = over-rated

    then a man of science like yourself will agree

    messi = god

    ReplyDelete
  96. Can't knock your logic, spits although I also think gregs pasties are over rated in which case we find ourselves with

    God = gregs pasties

    And if we also agree that

    Gregs pasties = full of shit

    ipso facto, god is filled not with love but er carrot and mince

    ReplyDelete
  97. Kissing sadams arse and pretending to be a cat in leotards continues to pay dividends for the carpet bagger George galloway. Ive never ever seen a politician more clearly in it for themselves than galloway, even amongst the Tories

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd have to disagree with you there, Galloway is a beacon for kind-of-telling-the-truth. Which is flight of stairs above any other politician. He'll always be a legend for telling the US to go fuck themselves.

      Delete
  98. The thing with Muamba is, he may be a footballer of limited talent but he's made the most of it.

    Plus he seems to have that other thin that most pros lack this day and age....

    a character.

    anybody and everybody that's ever come across him seem to love him so for that alone, hope he has a long and healthy life.

    Think we are now a civilisation (stretching it, I know) that mourns in public and In case of Muamba and his remarkable personal story he's become a perfect outlet of grief and concern, real and made up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thats it you see, I don't think his story is all that remarkable. Hes an average footballer who works hard, I'm pretty sure theres quite a few other people with a similar story. Well except for the cardiac arrest bit.

      I'm also wondering if a white player collapsed and had a cardiac arrest would the coverage have been the same? The past few months certain stories have broke that weren't indicative of the football community here and maybe this presented an opportunity to express that the people as a whole love black people. Ha ha, sorry, as a WUM piece maybe that goes too far. I don't want the internet police to arrest me. I'm a good feller so am I......honest

      Delete
  99. William McCrum was from norn iron, rod. Did they ever build the museum to the penalty kick? Hope so.....

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/6525461.stm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're too busy at the minute building museums for oddly shaped rocks and ships that sunk.

      Delete
  100. The truth, rod? Galloway wouldn't know the truth if it was tattooed on his eyeballs. I'll give you the bravura performance in the US congress almost atones for everything

    ReplyDelete
  101. Spit, I'm still struggling to come to terms with the death of Diana. In fact I need a drink to drown my sorrows. A Harvey wallbanger with a couple of chasers should do it.

    ReplyDelete
  102. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17554188

    ReplyDelete
  103. Stiliyan Petrov diagnosed with acute leukaemia.

    Get well soon.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17566188

    ReplyDelete
  104. Lukemea eh?

    Hope he recovers soon

    What's up with footballers eh?

    Arent they uspposed to be the fittest? All the right stuff to eat & plenty of exercise?

    Fuck off.

    I'll stick to my plan of eating and drinking whatever I want while doing as little as possible of manual exertion.

    ReplyDelete
  105. The FA release a new training video

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-PEJwn8oqU&feature=related

    ReplyDelete
  106. Wow, been busy and knackered for the last 2 weeks and what happens

    Robbo produces one of his best blogs, way better than what McCunty writes.(tho ROD does have a point, what if it was JT)

    Blog attempts to burn down New Meadow in desperation

    and the Shepherd of Yarm, who rounds up all Teesides fair maidens for Adam to dance with, has got hitched, Congrats FBH

    ReplyDelete
  107. I'll admit, my reaction would most probably be different if it were John Terry but not because he's white only because he's John Terry.

    ReplyDelete
  108. If you say 'gullible' really slowly, it sounds like 'go fill your car up'.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Looks like Howard Webb and Manchester United are going to win the league again.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Ok you two push-button pseudo mancs, if theres not something corrupt going on, why did SAF pay £250,000 for a 'kitchen supper' round at Webb of Intrigue's smart central London apartment?

    ReplyDelete
  111. Hang on, i might be confusing him with Cameron. Which one is it that eats pies and hoards petrol?

    ReplyDelete
  112. Or I might be confusing SAF with Mankini. Which one wears a comedy g-string?

    ReplyDelete
  113. Oh they've fallen asleep. They must be watching Man United TV heh heh

    ReplyDelete
  114. Terrible news - Seal's been shot dead.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-17563050

    ReplyDelete
  115. Don't waste your breath,or indeed your typing Blogs.

    We all know that the REAL football takes place below the Premier League.The rest are all glory hunters.

    ReplyDelete
  116. A message from Bo.

    OK Folks. I am alive and kicking. Problems getting internet connected here. Just connected via wifi at eurotel in Cubao, Philippines. Call off the search dogs.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Thanks Jack

    Yes, it isn't a simple matter of calling up an ISP and getting connected here. I applied to have a connection before I arrived and it not connected. Even the wifi at the hotel is iffy... works one day and not the next. Anyway, up to now, life here in the Philippines is great. I have really wound down and after a short time learned to accept that things happen at a much slower pace here (unless you drive a jeep)... I'll keep in touch hopefully over the next few days as we are off to Boracay soon, then on to Iloilo, so there will be hotel wifi... maybe by the time i get back home the internet will be connected

    ReplyDelete
  118. Fantastic game in the BL last night BvB v VfB 4-4, could have been 10-10, 6 goals in last 20 mins, game of the season

    Spit, Stuttgart must have been buzzing last nght

    Reminds me of another 4-4 game last season, but much better

    ReplyDelete
  119. How Ramsey gets to be in the starting XI of a club like Arsenal is beyond me, (though it does give me hope about my limited footballing abilities)...

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  120. donny are doomed

    ReplyDelete
  121. http://www.goal.com/en/news/9/england/2012/03/30/3002662/carroll-promises-not-to-celebrate-if-he-scores-for-liverpool

    -----------------------
    Like he would score...fat ashley is still laughing at kenny

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  122. great call Atkinson,
    Carroll, what a pillock

    ReplyDelete
  123. haha you would think that scoring against them is the worst thing you could do to your old club...but then steps forward Carroll to prove us wrong, way to lose the misplaced love that some of them still had for you coz ''Ashley sold me, i didnt wanna go at all'' (yeah right :P), what an idiot,

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  124. oh and once again: Great buy kenny!

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 35million doesn't get you what it used to eh?

      Oh did I see Riena getting sent off for knocking a guy off his Perch?

      What a pussy, he went down like Suarez.

      Delete
  125. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Media are constructing a new narrative "sport kills"

    ReplyDelete
  127. In other sports news, Mitchell Johnson has apparently signed for Durham and is looking forward to arriving there. Although, given his normal accuracy, he'll probably land in Devon.


    Jedi

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  128. Carroll didn't dive he tripped over the ball, as you can see from this angle....

    http://www.lolwtfcomics.com/upload/uploads/oie_919311U8j4padS.gif

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha
      note to self: must resist the temptation to open blog's links when at office

      --BeeZee

      Delete
  129. Pour old Kenny I hope he still thinks sticking up for serial twat suarez was worth immolating his managerial career for.

    ReplyDelete
  130. At least Suarez is sharing his knowledge with his team mates.

    Carroll needs a bit more practice in the "not being so bloody obvious" department, but in the "diving cheating cunt" department he's scoring top marks.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Phil McNumpty's Catechism of Cliche rides again!

    Having stumbled again across Phils inspiringly mangled mind and tangled prose, I have got my bi-annual blog entry out of the way.

    Go on, be the only one to read it.

    http://catechismofcliche.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/mcnumpty-strikes-again.html

    ReplyDelete
  132. Bless Blogs,quiet shift last night was it?

    ReplyDelete
  133. Blog's new blog is the same usual genius drivel that we used to be used to. There's a 14 week waiting list for comments to be moderated so get in early.

    ReplyDelete
  134. For some reason my search engine can't find Blog's blog. Pity.

    So, in the meantime, here's a survey. Which was the funnier meltdown at the weekend:

    Mancini and Balotelli; or
    Reina and Liverpool generally?

    Tough question.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  135. And in response to your question,Liverpool.

    ReplyDelete
  136. You're missing nowt, jedi.

    Anyone see gerrard shoo Dalglish off the pitch at the reina incident? Still way down the list of scouse PR disasters tho

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes, this was disgraceful and sad and tragically upsetting whilst being highly telling and chucklesome, the two blokes that will be at Anfield forever and one of them has to go. Poor old Kenny just scratched his noggin and walked away in a "fuck this for a game of soldiers, I'm away to the pub" kind of way.

      Delete
  137. Fabregas playing in starting 11 today... that gives me 1 reason to watch this match.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Milan score..game on now

    ReplyDelete
  139. How's the new house, trotts? Any nasty surprises like a family of psychopathic hillbillys with chainsaws next door?

    ReplyDelete
  140. VE day for vale tomorrow. I find out if my bid of £26.17p for the club has been successful.

    ReplyDelete
  141. all good Blog thanks, crates and boxes all over the place, no idea which one the kids are in.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Know what you mean, trott, when I moved I put my will to live in one of them boxes and couldn't find it for a long time

    ReplyDelete
  143. you're supposed to write "FRAGILE" on the important boxes but in your case it sounds more like a wife followed you.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Now that is a really good blog Robbo among your already high standard of blogs. Well done fellow footy fan.

    ReplyDelete
  145. The near death of port vale looks likely to be averted by a man who "made his money in financial services and property development"

    I hate him already. Like emerging from a coma to find Robert mugabe is giving you mouth to mouth

    ReplyDelete
  146. BREAKING FOOTBALL NEWS - The Football Association have this morning stated that any Everton player caught man marking Andy Carroll during the FA Cup Semi Final against Liverpool at Wembley, will be booked........ for time wasting

    ReplyDelete
  147. Benfica are having a bad hair match.

    ReplyDelete
  148. my mate, Scouse Phil, reckons he's seen milk turn faster than Andy Carroll.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Scouse Phil from toxteth? I know him. I remember he told me about a milk float he nicked, how it had a wide turning circle

    ReplyDelete
  150. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  151. Well he turned in his black and white shirt for a red one pretty sharpish.

    ReplyDelete
  152. How's it going H..this brought to you from my new blackberry after I smashed my HTC in a freak gardening accident

    ReplyDelete
  153. I'm not too bad thanx bloggy sir, busy, busy busy with the new gaff, but that's a good thing I suppose.

    Not much of a fan of Blackberry's me, I got a Galaxy SII, don't really use it for anything else then making calls as I'm always in the bar, where I have two laptops discretly placed. One for downloading music (illeagely ofcourse) and the other for spouting rubbish on the web and e-mails.

    How you doing?

    ReplyDelete
  154. A freak garden accident?

    You didn't get attacked by a hoe, did ya?

    ReplyDelete
  155. nooo, the other Scouse Phil, the one from Garstang, he likes gardening too. Has a veg plot, greenhouse with perspex windows and 4 padlocks.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Anyone else a bit confused as to how Rangers are optimistic tonight about getting a legit buyer straight after admitting that they are at least £134 million in debt? Watching Sky Sports News, even the presenters are buying it.

    ReplyDelete
  157. Do the presenters have enough money?

    ReplyDelete
  158. Have the SII myself H2. Nice little phone. The best native email app on android methinks. Makes phone calls too.

    ReplyDelete
  159. This blackberry playbook is the worst phone I ever had. Too big innit and no sim.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Ah Phil from garstang. He lost it big time. Caught someone nicking the hubcap off of his wheelbarrow and massacred them with his pruning shears. turned them into fertilizer. They found the head in his patch of canteloupes which was a stupid place to bury it cos it can cause listeriosis. He was sentenced to 8 years on the panel of Gardeners Question Time

    ReplyDelete
  161. H glad its going well mate. Busy is always a good thing in business innit. I know the business environment generally is tough so good luck with the venture .

    I love Holland its the only European country I don't smile when I read its gone into recession. Id like to see the north sea filled with shark infested custard.

    ReplyDelete
  162. I'm just back from a stag do in Amsterdam. We made the mistake of booking a late flight out on Tuesday so we spent the whole day sampling the local delicacies. I can tell you now going to the train station unbelievably stoned and pressed for time is not a good look.

    ReplyDelete
  163. I wonuldn't worry about that too much Rod, it's not like you were the only one sporting that look in and around A'dam, in fact it is the "in look" for tourists.

    =======

    Cheers Bloggy.

    ReplyDelete
  164. My mate kev married a dutch bird (i knew a lady from Amsterdam she shoved her *cough* up full of clam ... she was a stupid little dutch ...er...bird ...she had lobsters up the arse she was Fucking working class....she was a dutch ...er...bird) anyways kev had a stag do in Amsterdam with all his dutch mates, and me.

    Game On I thought...

    But H will tell you the dutch world view is very different.

    By 9pm we were home in delft, stone cold sober without seeing a nipple and personally feeling very confused

    ReplyDelete
  165. All the tourists in A'dam are usually so whacked off the local grass that they hardly remember a thing, so when they come down, they assume that they've had the time of their lifes and so the legend remains.

    If you really want to hit a real party town I suggest you visit Las Vegas. I saw some outragous shit there.

    ReplyDelete
  166. ssshhh H, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

    ReplyDelete
  167. Ooops Yeah, thanx Trott.

    What I meant to say was.......................

    ReplyDelete
  168. Las Vegas is just like Burslem then. No one will ever tell that they had a great time there.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Viva Las Burslem was the original name of that Elvis song.

    ReplyDelete
  170. he made one short visit to the uk landing at prestwick but sneaking out to see his nan in Burslem

    Original titles of The King's Top 10:
    1 Love Me Burslem(1956)
    2 Burslem Hotel (1956)
    3 Suspicious Burslem(1969)
    4 A Little Less Burslem(1968)
    5 Jailhouse Burslem(1957)
    6 Burslem On My Mind (1972)
    7 The Wonder of Burslem(1970)
    8 Burslem Dog (1956)
    9 Blue Suede Burslem(1956)
    10 Burslem Shook Up (1957)

    The Colonel worked hard to keep his true Stokie identity even less well know than this post which no one will ever read. But who gives a shit?

    ReplyDelete
  171. he made one short visit to the uk landing at prestwick but sneaking out to see his nan in Burslem

    Original titles of The King's Top 10:
    1 Love Me Burslem(1956)
    2 Burslem Hotel (1956)
    3 Suspicious Burslem(1969)
    4 A Little Less Burslem(1968)
    5 Jailhouse Burslem(1957)
    6 Burslem On My Mind (1972)
    7 The Wonder of Burslem(1970)
    8 Burslem Dog (1956)
    9 Blue Suede Burslem(1956)
    10 Burslem Shook Up (1957)

    The Colonel worked hard to keep his true Stokie identity even less well know than this post which no one will ever read. But who gives a shit?

    ReplyDelete