Sunday, 20 May 2012

Charmed Chelsea!

There’s a lot of baloney written in sport about Fate, Inevitability, Something In The Stars. It’s hard not to imagine that Chelsea were destined to win the Champions League last night. The flakier amongst you might ascribe their success to God, who is clearly no fan of Spurs.


Nevertheless what was a rather tedious final coiled up the pressure until finally the inexorable Blue victory came to pass.

Bayern are a strange side. They possessed a lot more invention than Chelsea, but most of it came from the flanks. Ribery has always been wildly overrated. Robben is a pain-in-the-backside but can be exceptional. Chelsea set out to defend their penalty area and the two wide men made it very easy for them by cutting inside and into defenders.

When they did get the ball into the middle they had that terror of European defences everywhere, Mario Gomez. Now, okay, maybe I’ve never seen Gomez on a good day, but I swear to God Morticia, Pugsley or even Wednesday could’ve done a better job. And yet those stats of his! Gomez must be like a second-hand car on a dodgy lot – someone’s been fiddling with his clock (I said ‘clock’) cos there’s no way such a lumbering great numpty with the first touch of a bunioned rhino can have scored quite so many goals.

The main threat came from Muller, although he wasn’t quite rampaging like he did for Germany against England a couple of years back. This was more Muller Light. His goal came as a surprise, really. Bayern had had chances but fluffed them. Robben was brilliantly marshalled by Ashley Cole, Cahill was terrific (who needs Terry, Woy?) and Chelsea seemed to be coping comfortably. And then Cashley lost his man and Muller’s downward header bounced feebly over a strangely confused Peter Cech. Game over.

Then came Drogba. The headed equaliser was utterly brilliant. And this after spending much of the game in his usual one against four routine while David Luiz humped the ball hopefully upfield like a Teesside lunk on a windblown school pitch in Hartlepool.

In fact it’s ironic that after all the money the sinister smirking Abramovich has put into the club in order to assemble a side that entertains, it’s the dourest one of the last ten years that somehow wrestles the Champions League back to West London.

Di Matteo can take a lot of credit for reviving the form of players who were not exactly on fire during the reign of AVB. Lampard, Drogba, Cech and even Cole spent six months telling the manager to stop pissing in their chips.

Then again Villas-Boas was brought in specifically to be the new broom. But old muck is hard to shift. In a way AVB’s departure put Di Matteo in a position where he could only win. He has stroked the egos of the uppity and reminded them of their responsibilities. He has knocked together a lot of defensive nous that must’ve fallen out of AVB’s trousers as he crouched like a constipated frog on the touchline.

And more than that he’s been kissed on the arse by the Mistress of Good Fortune. The turning around of a 3-1 deficit against Napoli was the key. The win in the Nou Camp is the most ludicrous result since the stone was rolled back to reveal that Jesus was gone. And even last night’s victory was stretching the bounds of belief.

Chelsea had barely mustered a shot when they went behind. Extra time was minutes old when Drogba got his big pink boots in the way of another pointless Ribery scuttle and the ref had no choice. Robben, strutting about like a shaved bantam, seemed certain to score but Cech snaffled it comfortably.

And then there was the familiar pussy-footing around until penalties.

That's why I don’t like penalty shoot-outs. Not cos they aren’t impossibly dramatic – that’s clearly to be enormously enjoyed, especially if you’re a neutral. But they often make for tepid periods of extra time where no one wants to lose. I’d be tempted to make both teams dispense with two players each at the start of extra time, and then lose another two after 15 minutes. More space on the pitch would make the game way more stretched and chances more frequent.

Of course the TV companies will want to know when it’s going to end so until football gets off its televisual umbilical cord the old penalty shoot-out is here to stay.

And therefore we will still have the dubious pleasure of watching Bastian Schweinsteiger – a truly wonderful servant of his football club – letting his teammates and supporters down horribly. Strangely I empathised with him enormously whereas when Terry slipped on his arse four years ago my first response was to laugh like a drain.

The penalty shoot-outs do reveal a lot about the players involved. Robben didn’t have the nuts to take another one. Neuer did. Cole was happy to. Torres wasn’t. The bottle is about stepping forward in the first place. And of course Big Balls himself scored the winner.

It must be tempting for Drogba to renew his contract but someone with a lot of objectivity should tell him the time to leave is NOW: head held high, at the very top, nothing else to win, really. Job done. Go line your nylon shorts with Chinese cheques and keep up the good work back home.

It wouldn’t be so bad for Di Matteo either if he was asked to step aside. His record would be pretty near perfect, and Chelsea is still a club that needs a right good shake-up. The cornerstones of Abramovich’s reign – Cech, Terry, Lampard, Drogba – there’s little time left for them.

I doubt Di Matteo is the man to oversee the transformation. And yet he’s just won the Champions League. The idea of anyone not getting the job after that is unthinkable. Unless you happened to be a megalomaniacal Russian with an assassin’s smile.



396 comments:

  1. It's a sad state of affairs when defending for 120 minutes, 1 chance all game and playing for penalties becomes a winning formula......

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  2. I'm nigerian. What millwall fans are to england.. Chelski fans are to Nigeria. There was genuine terror on the streets of lagos, nigeria when it looked like chelski were gonna get beat.. But i know way too many chelsea fans and not enough spurs fan.. So, last night was effin painful, my phone is still switched off.. I attended church today in the wee hours of the morn b4 the hungover chelski fans woke up and spotted me... Thank goodness i was too broke to bet.

    El_noni

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    Replies
    1. Blimey. truly a global sport. Do you attend church in your spurs kit?

      Delete
    2. Actualy, blogs, i'm an arsenal fan.

      What i meant was, the crap all over the internet about how arsenal fans are glad that chelski won cos that means spuds are out.. I know too many chelsea fans and not enough spuds fans so i hate chelsea more.. Not that spuds arent scum tho, but i'd rather see 'em play in the damn thing and get knocked out in the qualifiers than hide from the chelsea half of my family. The drunken half.

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    3. I know the feeling monitor, my family are stoke fans....my own father...

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    4. *monitor = noni, dang productive texture

      Delete
  3. It's how and why Italy won all them world cups

    Lampard looks a world beater for Chelsea and the enigma remains why the English players who are so magnificent in club football play like confused and incontinent pensioners for england

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  4. It's a strange thing that good defending gets criticised, I remember Roy Evans bleating on about Boro's Robbie Stockdale not allowing his flair players to play when we beat them in the League Cup Semi back in 97/98 (Mind you Robbie did kick lumps out of McMannaman) Surely you devise your tactics to beat the team in front of you, not give their best players the ball and say please play pretty football.I'm not a Chelsea fan but I thought there were some of the best defensive displays I've seen in a long while last night.

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  5. Btw I thing RdM might have earned himself the elbow when he hugged the menacing Russian and shouted "I won it" like he hadn't understood... It's all about Roman and his ego. All he has is a big hammer so every managerial problem becomes a nail.

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  6. As much as i hate chelsea and terry (spit)... I've never been one to take the moral high ground about teams playing defensively.. Especialy when they win the holy grail wit said tactics, then that high ground becomes a very lonely place.
    You do ur best with what you've got and nobody expected chelsea to go to the allianz arena and play like the devil's spawn (a.k.a barcelona) with a patched up squad.. They had ryan bertrand in midfield ffs! So congrats to them.. And may they throw the trophy under the bus on their parade today.

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  7. The better team is the one that wins.
    Welcome Noni and see you in the Europa :).

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  8. I'm an ARSENAL fan.. And we finished 3rd.. Last time, i checked, that guarantees us tuesday/wednesday nite football.. Or has platini been tweaking the rules again?

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  9. Good stuff Robbo, a fitting final chapter to the season!

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  10. who'd o thought, originally wanted them to lose, prefer ta see Yids in Europe, but they did what they had to, and good to see Engerland win a shoot out....
    where now for the boss, Liverpool ha!!!
    Come on you Wolves

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  11. Impressed by Bertrand, too... though how will he and other youngsters finally uproot the old guard? Without serious spending over the summer, there is no way Chelsea make it to the knockout round next year, never mind top-four in the PL. They need to get younger and better, and I don't see that happening with Financial Fair Play or whatever they call it.

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  12. heres hoping JT falls off the bus

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  13. Just been watching the game again on German Sky, and their"expert" pundit Effenberg makes Hansen and Lawro sound neutral experts, so biased were his comments, Ballack forecast 4-0 for Bayern, what does he know
    Effenberg suggested if it went to pens, between Dland and England, we know who wins, then commented there arent many English in the team anyway

    EffingC, take a look at who scored in the shootout

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  14. Nice blog, Robbo! One thing I find strange is the bashing of Cech - he has been immense against Bayern and he has another good 6-8 years in him if he stays fit (he turns 30 today btw, what a nice birthday present he got...). I am hardly a Chelski fan but I really respect him - a classy keeper and a top man. I was almost tempted to use the world gentleman, but he spends too much time in shorts and failed to take his glove off to shake Neuer's hand.

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  15. Best players yesterday, A. Cole, D. Drogba, Cech. In that order.

    Dummkopf is what I shouted at Schweinsteiger for getting booked in the 3rd minute that meant he had to play the rest 117 with the handbrake on.

    Those of you who havent seen much of Gomez might think he had a terrible game but having seen him play regularly for VfB and Bayern over the years I can attest that he had a pretty regular game by his standards. He's the German Darren Bent.

    And that Neuer, the German Steel may not be as famous now as it was some years ago but he's got the balls of the vintage stuff alright.

    Well done Chelsea, they played the opposition, not the game and came out trumps.

    Now lets all pray the mad russian has lost interest and he buggers off ot buy a new toy or summat.

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  16. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only Kings Of London, but Kings of Europe! GET IN!!!!!!!
    Keegz C

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  17. First London Team to be crowned European Champions!!!!! History has been made lads!!!!!
    BLUES!!!!!

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  18. Amazing scenes in the French Ligue 1, Montpellier(paupers, unbelievable fairy tale story few have knowledge of) and PSG(moneybags) were locked in the same situation as the Manc clubs going into the last half of the last matches,
    ....
    that is until the Auxere ultras had other ideas on how to stamp their relegated club's mark on the title race... lets hope order is restored and none of the paupers gets hurt

    --BeeZee

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  19. In other news, our 'co-owner' made a cool 5 billion in a single day on Friday, wonder if MR. Usmanov feels like wanting his own Abramovich story, not that I'm looking forward to that

    --BeeZee

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  20. Welcounner Noni, nice to see another gunner in here.

    I wonder how ol' red nose is going to react to Blue Moon Lane (St, Rd...whatever) is painted blue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think he'll see the funny side of it. He won't like it much though. (Man Utd fan by the way)

      Delete
  21. wow,london scums bitter chelsea got the holy grail before their non deserving asses
    Go eat some grass ASS_ANAL AND NOTHING-ham fans
    we dont need your good wishes,we got the cup you dream of ASS-ANAL try holding on to your captain van-rapist and Nothing-ham try holding on to your Luka modric while you patrol the europa league
    deluded fools
    WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
    ¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸...¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    \¸.¤ CHELSEA!!!
    .\¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸.¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    ..\
    ☻/
    .▌
    / \
    Go Chelsea.!

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  22. That is bloody clever!


    ¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸...¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    \¸.¤ BWFC!!!
    .\¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸.¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    ..\
    ☻/
    _▌
    / \
    Go Bolton!

    You'll notice the artist has adjusted the penis of the earlier picture. Oh, and the letters on the flag!

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  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  26. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  27. ¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸...¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    \¸.¤ Port Vale!!!
    .\¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸.¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    ..\
    ☻/
    :▌____________________
    / \

    ReplyDe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That wasn't as easy as I made it seem

      Delete
  28. ¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸...¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    \¸.¤ Arsenal
    .\¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸.¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    ..\
    ☻/
    \▌____________________
    / \

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  29. I thought Drogba showed a huge amount of class on Saturday night.

    Pleased for Chelsea,but....the image of John Terry all cheerful and chirpy.....

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  30. Where did Benitez take Liverpool after winning Champions League?! Di Matteo should leave now.

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  31. Benitez had as much to do with Liverpool winning as has De Matteo.

    Drogba was to Chelsea what Gerrard was for Liverpool that night.

    When it gets tough, nothing much that a manager can do.

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    Replies
    1. Except for making a substitution, but why would you not start with a match winner?

      Delete
  32. ¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸...¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸..
    \¸.¤ John Terry is a Cunt
    .\¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸.¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸..
    ..\
    ☻/
    \▌____________________
    / \

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  33. Bells must have gone on a bender celebrating.

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  34. AVB now favourite to land the Liverpool job. It's a joke that keeps getting funnier.

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  35. All this Spurs heartbreak could have easily been avoided had the season ended back in November when they won the league.

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  36. Well at least they're the best London team in the Europa Spits (unless chelski dont make it past the group, in which case let's see shall we).

    Blogs, dont go anywhere, looks like you might get the liverpool job after all.

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  37. Well done Chealski, no matter what anyone says about luck, or defensive tactics, or whatever, you won it fair and square.

    Enjoy your victory.

    See Unknown, were not all bitter, and just to put the record straight, you oil driven chavs are by far the scumiest of the big London teams and plastics like you who only come to gloat are a credit to your institution.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Replies
    1. Is there nothing this blog is incapable of ?

      Delete
    2. Honestly, I had to look up that reference because I was quite surprised to see it. (I get the reference on the religion part, but I didn't understand why one would make it, seeing as I'm not up on my English football history as much as I suppose I could be.) Made me wonder if I had been supporting the wrong London side, given my cultural heritage.

      Delete
  39. Good to see Nando enjoying the victory and not making it about himself. Team wins the CL for the first time and his first interview after, he claims was the 'one of the worst moments in his career'. Really? Worse than scoring just 6 goals int the league all season ?

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  40. AH, I thought it was pretty odd he didn't even offer to take a penalty, him being one of two strikers on the field and all.

    But thats probably the attitude that keeps him on the bench week in, week out.

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  41. He says they wouldn't let him, H. On account of him being flakey. Which he's just proven, once again, with the ill timed whining.

    AH. My first three decisions.
    1. Suarez out
    2. Name change to Port Vale.
    3. Install self as centre forward.

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  42. As a Liverpool fan it bugs me that the ladyboy Torres has 2 winners medals even more than the scumbag Terry! Here's Hoping another little hamstring tweak leaves him watching the euros on Telly then Drogba decides to stay so he can spend another season on the bench!
    Bisq

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  43. I see De Boer has just said, Bedankt, maar nee. (thanks but no) to L'pool.

    BRING BACK BENNY TEZ!!

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    Replies
    1. I bet there are quite a few Liverpool fans that would welcome that as well H.

      Not that all Liverpool fans live in the past or anything.

      Delete
    2. Would much prefer Martin Tez
      Bisq

      Delete
  44. ¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸...¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    \¸.¤ gloat, gloat, gloat
    .\¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸.¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    ..\


    ..

    / \

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  45. Replies
    1. Cheers H, Chelsea certianly don't like to do it the 'easy' (nor indeed pretty) way but was great they won it however they managed it .
      Had hangover from hell yesterday and must have been v pissed as i remember at one point thinking Gnev made a bit of sense...

      Delete
  46. Bisq.

    Martinez, really?

    Who's greatest achievement is having avoided relagation by the skin of his teeth, twice?

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  47. I hope it doesnt come down to that choice- rafa Vs martinez. I'd rather have Lambert in the hot seat, or AVB even.

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  48. woohoo, finally a topless BHB image!

    WTF is Torres whining about? Maybe he's struggled to get in the team because he's been crap? Just a thought.

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  49. I see Spurs have developed a new perfume.

    https://twitter.com/#!/misschievousone/status/204579642399657985/photo/1

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  50. In fairness ge did start to build that Swansea side and is used to getting the most out of a shower of average players! Benitez will just add shit players we havent heard of And / or resign the ladyboy mercenary
    Bisq

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  51. Jacks (sorry my reply thingys not working)

    I bet that stinks. (well it certainly does for them)

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  52. Just spent 3 days at Lords. The toffery is exquisitely choreographed. It was like being at Hugh Grant's birthday party in the grounds of Hogwarts. Felt quite out of place eating my Tesco butty and drinking smuggled Old Speckled Hen whilst sat underneath a statue of WG Grace next to the Pimms & champagne bar in the Coronation Gardens.

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  53. They need their shibboleths to spot each other for overpaid job recruitment purposes tommy

    Cultural superstructure aside, cricket is a beautiful game

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  54. My shibboleth is Old Speckled Hen. I suspect I'd have been more successful at Headingley.

    Awesome few days though, first time at HQ.

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  55. That's how it begins Tommy. Next you'll be telling' us how Pippa's visit to the Albert Dock went.

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  56. Spiffin chaps, time for tiffin.

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  57. Martinez flying out to Boston to talk contract with the Liverpool owners.

    Think its a good move. If the Liverpool end of season form is to continue in the next season they could surely use a manager with good record of avoiding the relegation.

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  58. Not sure how they'll attract top names with ab unknown in charge, but I guess this is how unknowns get known, as rumsfeld might say . He was another septic who knew fuck all about football.

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  59. And this is the known unknown that scousers intentionally refuse to acknowledge that they know...they're fucked

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  60. He's actually flying out to NJ for a round of golf with Trotts, followed by tea and scrumpets at 'A Taste of Britain" with me.

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  61. Steve Kean for Liverpool Manager

    I wish

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  62. After being told to avoid controversy by Italy coach Cesare Prandelli, Mario Balotelli has been trying out a host of famous football haircuts, including Carlos Valderrama's afro.

    Full story: Metro
    ====
    Hair cut?

    When did Valderama ever get his hair cut?

    He's still finding lost footballs in there even today.

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  63. Manchester United midfielder Ryan Giggs, 38, has revealed his desire to link up with former team-mate David Beckham as part of the Great Britain team at London 2012. "I don't think it'll be like 20 years ago when we were both up and down," he said. "We might be able to get up but we won't be able to get back down again."

    Full story: Daily Telegraph
    =====
    Viagra overload.

    ReplyDelete
  64. he ain't golfin' with me, courses are water logged and I'm busy trappin' squirrels. If he's a good cook he can pop over and rustle up a squirrel stew.

    ReplyDelete
  65. If Torres is not happy at Chelsea, let him FUCK OFF!!!!!!! Ungrateful Cunt!!!! Wins he's only 2 trophies in England, then complains about it! FUCK OFF!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. be fare to Torres - he did look very upset and hurt on Saturday night when he was prancing around the pitch holding the Champions League trophy

      Delete
    2. Well, if Chelsea need a new striker, I'm available. I don't mind sitting on the bench, I won't complain about lack of playing time, and I'm happy to cash my check in peace. Lack of footballing skills shouldn't matter, right?

      Oh wait... maybe I'm more fit for Man City then?

      Delete
  66. Now Redknapp in reckoning for the Liverpool job. Interesting.

    After masterfully leading the Spurs to two seasons of nought, he's headed to another club with a rich owner.

    ReplyDelete
  67. No chance, the Liverpool fans will not tolerate another manager from South of the Wirral. Has to be a Geordie, a Scott or a Scouser (or a Uruguyan).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whats Gareth Southgate doing?

      G. Neville after the Euros?

      Home boy Joey Barton as Player/Manager?

      Gordon Brown?

      Kevin Keegan?

      Steve Bruce?

      Frankly, I dont know why I am not a football talent scout.

      Delete
    2. Rúnar Kristinsson of last season's Pepsi deildin champions Knattspyrnufélag Reykjavíkur?

      Delete
  68. And this is awkward but Morinho has extended his contract at Real to 2016.

    Thought he was coming to Spurs?

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  69. Surely Graham Souness is available.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. for Liverpool or for Spurs?

      Guess he'd do for either of them.

      Delete
  70. Also, does Steve McLaren qualify for the Liverpool job?

    I'd be interested to know how soon he develops a scouse accent.

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  71. He'll need one soon before the interview and he'll need to learn Ferry Cross the Mersey and that other song they keep mentioning

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  72. I think Redknapp to Liverpool is a journo having some fun. Never gonna happen, nor should it.

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  73. AH, what's the name of that ex Liverpool mid-fielder that's coaching in MLS? His name could be in the hat (if anybody can remember what it is).

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  74. Bit presumptious of the Munchners to arrange a friendly against the Dutch National team tonight, thought they would parade the pot round the Allianz Arena

    as one paper put it(obviuosly not a Bavarian one)

    "The most sensless match planning ever"

    or they could have switched it to the Bridge

    ReplyDelete
  75. Tone. It was arranged because of Robbens injury during the WC, to make up for the fact that he missed the first few months of the season for BM.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Don't they get sick pay at BM then?

      Delete
  76. Spits, I think it was the papers who thought Jose would go to Spurs. I don't think any fan thought it would happen. And nor should it.

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  77. So Drogba leaves... surely the best defender the PL has seen, immense when defending his penalty area against corners and crosses... decent striker he was as well ;)
    The league is poorer without him, but after all the pain he has caused to Arsenal I'm glad at the prospect of us facing up to that 50 mill ladyboy instead of him. Wish him loads of fun with Le Sulk, what a fix...

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  78. another third rate liverpool player in the squad ...kelly rather than richards who refused to go on the standby list and who's clearly as bewildered as the rest of us how he can possibly be behind jones who isnt a full back and the defensive liability that is glenn bloody johnson in the pecking order. he'll retire from international football if this treatment continues. he was the only one who woy didnt personally phone over his ommission from the euros; the lad has seriously pissed somebody off someone powerful, has he called the quenn a slag or summat?

    but then the queen is a slag.

    She's got "ER" on her knickers

    ReplyDelete
  79. So the squad is going to get a whole set of clothing including underpants.
    Just as well it doesnt include WAGS, otherwise twatface would be collecting his own EM memorabilia

    ReplyDelete
  80. Andy Smart ‏@AndyCSP
    Off to Deptford with a spring in my step, as I'm recording a new podcast with @Robbo_Robson , giggles ahoy!

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  81. Some Bayern Munich fans believe that their team's chances of lifting the European Cup were ruined by Ukrainian defender Anatoliy Tymoschuk touching the trophy on his way out of the dressing room at the Allianz Arena.

    Full story: 101 Great Goals
    ===
    It's true. I bumped into Samantha Fox years ago back in London and I never got to keep her for a year after that either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you feel a bit of a tit H?

      Delete
    2. Unfortunatly not jacks.

      But it wasn't for lack of trying.

      Delete
  82. Ah Sam Fox What a thought to start the day with.

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  83. New podcast at the top of the page, gentlemen and BHB.

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  84. Afternoon gentleman and Robbo

    I have been a bit lax with this so I would just like to repeat

    ¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸...¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    \¸.¤ gloat, gloat, gloat
    .\¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸.¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    ..\


    ..

    / \



    and a genuine thank you to Robbo for keeping up with this blog

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  85. Gutted Drogba is leaving - drove me and half the world round the twist with his theatrics - but when he was on form & upright he was a superb striker & could defend pretty well too.

    Maybe his leaving will be the rebirth of (a very ungrateful) Torres but not so sure.



    Any chance of a gratuitous photo of Mourinho?

    ReplyDelete
  86. Well if no-one else is out to play today then

    ¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸...¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    \¸.¤ gloat, gloat, gloat
    .\¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸.¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    ..\


    ..

    / \

    ReplyDelete
  87. ¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸...¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    \¸.¤ what did Man U win?
    .\¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸.¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    ..\


    ..

    / \

    ReplyDelete
  88. ¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸...¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    \¸.¤ nowt
    .\¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸.¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    ..\


    ..

    / \

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  89. Did you know that towels are the number one cause of dry skin?

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  90. quite right BHB. Your double D has gone from a tumblin' divin' time wastin' annoyance to a charitable super hero. It's never too late.

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  91. cheers 'Bells.

    ¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸...¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    \¸.¤ not even the Mickey Mouse cup.
    .\¸.¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸.¸.¤*¨¨*¤.
    ..\


    ..

    / \

    ReplyDelete
  92. Twelve matches for Barton. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/18183661

    Why would QPR bother bringing him back (isn't there some clause in his contract they can use to cut him loose for nothing?) and who in their right mind would sign him for next season if QPR wash their hands of him?

    ReplyDelete
  93. ____________$$$$$$$
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blog, are you fuckin' Goofy?

      Delete
    2. no trotts he's not my type. Id give minnie one tho

      Delete
  94. Took me all day to do that satirical portrait of liverpool new ownership. Worth it tho.

    ReplyDelete
  95. VE HAV VAYS OV MEKING YOU EXCITED ABOUT ZE OLYMPICS !

    YOU VILL BE EXCITED ABOUT ZE OLYMPICS !

    ReplyDelete
  96. Which reminds me zat ze ruddy torch procession wending its way around the country in another desparate attempt to make us feel united as a country was invented not by the Greeks but by the nazis in 36

    ReplyDelete
  97. BTW Essex firefighters are now voting on strike action so if someone drops the torch in July and Essex catches fire there's going to be trouble....

    ReplyDelete
  98. Barton fink banned for 12 matches, or in Owen Hargreave terms, 5 seasons

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or in Barton terms, not long enough

      Delete
  99. If Barton were a mad dog..

    hang on, this conditional statement doesnt work.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Gentlemen, have y'all listened to the podcast? First one for a while...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just listened Robbo.

      Bent or Hernandez?

      Delete
  101. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/england/9286111/Holocaust-survivor-Zigi-Shipper-will-tell-England-players-the-importance-of-speaking-out-against-intolerance.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shipper is a good man Jack, if he gets through to Terry he would be a miracle worker.

      Delete
  102. yeah Robbo, and a fine podcast it is too.

    ReplyDelete
  103. What's happened? The page looks wrong now.

    ReplyDelete
  104. well, it was all red and blotchy like and now it's clean and white with blue round the edges, very crisp. All a bit fuckin' narrow though. Blog's Mickey Mouse is lookin' quite lanky.

    ReplyDelete
  105. thank god. thought it was just me seeing things. Blogger, fix this shit.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Replies
    1. Me too, the reply button works again.

      Delete
  107. Hopefully they have removed the 'read more' bullshit too.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Wow, new podcast, fancy new layout. You must have a bit of time on your hands now that the season's over, eh Robbo?

    ReplyDelete
  109. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/18205513

    Blatter wants an alternative to penalty shoot outs.Haven't we tried golden and silver goals?What else can you do?Make it 8 a side?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is it because an English team won on penaltys?

      I never heard him say shit after all the times the national team lost the shoot out.

      Delete
    2. Very true H.I know pens aren't brilliant but they provide a winner and you can practice them as well.Anything else is artificial.

      Delete
    3. Watching as a neutral they're great.

      Ofcourse if you are on the losing team it sucks balls, but losing a final (or whatever) hurts just as much when you lose it in normal time.

      Blatter claims; "Football should not go to one to one. When it goes to penalty kicks football loses its essence."

      Absolute nonsense in my opinion, it just adds to the entertainment and drama, a real winner takes all scenario.

      How would he decide it?

      On a passes made or shots on target basis?

      The guy's a dinasour and needs to fuck the fuck off.

      Delete
    4. Blatter claims; "Football should not go to one to one. When it goes to penalty kicks football loses its essence."

      And the H is the evidence,if any were needed,that the man is a clown.

      Delete
    5. I think that goals scored is the answer. To come up with a winner keep playing 10 or 15 minute periods of extra time until there is a winner. You can complain that the players would be knackered so let them use all subs they want or reintroduce players after they've been subbed after game goes to extra time but only during changeovers.

      But I do agree that Blatter is a clown.

      Rastafairy

      Delete
  110. Robbo.

    Had a listern to your podcast while sitting here in my beergarden (it's a hard life, I know) some excellent laugh out load moments had some punters giving me funny looks.

    Andy Smart enjoys doing it, don't he? Hardly stopped laughing for the entire cast.

    ReplyDelete
  111. yes heard it robbo. i like. and i want a pint of whatever andy smart is drinking. everythings funny to that man like democritus the abderite or the member of the Ant Hill mob who laughs at anything "hahaha we're falling off a cliff ahhahahhaha"

    so my question is : does andy smart live in a barrel and when he drives off in his 1930s sedan, does he stick his legs through the floor and shout "getaway power"

    ReplyDelete
  112. trott im not fucking goofy - not my type

    ReplyDelete
  113. Penalties are brilliant - all that drama - TV companies absolutely love it. Blatter only wants to change it becasue a German team lost on penalties to an English one and he can't stand it

    ReplyDelete
  114. stupid reply button still doesn't work.

    Do you reckon Van Gaal will be the next manager of the scousers?

    ReplyDelete
  115. blatter is just an attention seeker who knows less about football than my cat. the reason penalties are a brilliant way to finish a deadlocked game is that, far from losing its essence, kicking the ball into the net with at least one player on each time IS the very essence of football.

    whats he want a return to flipping a coin which was used in the past (eg European Championship semi-final 1968 between Italy /Soviet Union; Liverpool/Cologne in 1964-5, European Cup quarter finals; Spain/ Turkey in the 1954 World Cup. it says here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Penalties are the only sensible solution! We all know that Blatter and sense are like oil and water. The guy makes George W Bush look intelligent. But only just.

      Delete
  116. If/when I win euro millions tonight won't be posting on Monday as off to sunnier more exotic places, say Luton ...
    Well positive thinking worked with champs league ..

    Tiddily winks is answer to the deadlock in football match

    Have good weekend

    ReplyDelete
  117. Adam,

    Its a sin, when I walk into my local bierkneipe, and the first thing I hear is PSB

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bloody hell Tone, I'd change my drinking spot if I was you. Any pub that plays PSB does not deserve patronage.

      Delete
  118. I'll tell you whats a sin, tone, its the quality of an e.gland team that would struggle v stoke ...

    Green..Jones...Jagielka..lescott...Baines | Parker--Barry | Young-
    Gerrard-Walcott | Carroll

    Helluva beating take 2 ?

    ReplyDelete
  119. hmmmm shades of the Everton over achievers nicely blended with relegated Hammers, a sprinkle of ex Villians and auld lang syne! Should be a winning formula!

    ReplyDelete
  120. The EPPP is dangerous. Future England teams might not be any better because of it. Yes, it should improve the quality of coaching, however. My boy is with a pro clubs elite programme and the quality of some of the coaching is, frankly, shit. My boys coach has such a poor understanding of kids I was hoping he'd be dropped this year so we could both go back to enjoying football. Don't ask why I don't take him out, its not that easy and you tread carefully with someone's boyhood dreams.

    So, coaching should improve in England. Despite the money spent its still patchy, good coach bad coach.

    But.....the trouble is for many lower league clubs, where so many top players have emerged from in the past, it won't be worth keeping their academies going. Now the premiership predators can cherry pick the best kids without paying what they are worth.

    Burnley have closed their academy, Preston have stripped their to bare bones, there won't be so many kids in the system. The reason numbers is important is the difficulty of seeing which kids will develop into top players and which won't.

    I font think the prem cares much. It's just business to them...if they can't get good English players they will buy foreign. Compare Germany where I think I'm right in saying clubs have to field 6 genuinely home grown players (not fake "home grown" like fabregas) . This creates a massive pressure to ensure the system produces the goods.

    In my opinion the EPPP will not enhance English youth development. The base in future will not be as broad. The track record of the "grade 1" teams like man c, arsenal, chelsea in producing players is poor when compared with now threatened programmes such as the ones at watford, crystal palace etc so flash facilities agent enough, clearly. Be afraid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No such rules in Germany. Clubs like Wolfsburg have field some teams over the years without a single German player.

      The strength of the German/Spanish football comes from not the clubs but standard and sheer number of qualified coaches at school level.

      Something that will never happen with all the cost cuttings going on.

      Delete
  121. Ello trott.

    Basic problem with English football in terms of gettin the international team up to the standard it should be is the weakness of the FA in the face of the massive financial interests of the premiership. It's like a microcosm of the death of old England which has sold its arse to the City banks.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Epppilogue to English Football?

    ReplyDelete
  123. In other news....

    http://www.thisisstaffordshire.co.uk/Port-Vale-Stop-trash-talk-let-manage-says-Micky/story-16184796-detail/story.html

    Mad Mickey has a pop at the fans.I don't know about you Blogs,but that sort of statement is usually followed by a vacancy arriving.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Also,seeing as Adam and Tony are about,cuts to my daughter's award winning school have meant that their budget for running the school has gone from £43k to £8k resulting in redundancies and key learning skills being removed.Care to justify your beloved Tories doing that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's fairly simple Jacks.

      You should have been a bit more successful as parent to have a better chance of your kids getting better schooling, better chances of landing at and completing uni and landing a better paid job through on of your mates (dont think any of us losers here will be able to hire a company director that we dont really need but also dont really mind loitering about).

      Or is it the kids' own fault they didnt pick some rich parents?

      Delete
  125. There was a time, before the sky managed history records, when Liverpool were the BIG team.

    Here's what happened 23 years ago today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I mean here --> http://youtu.be/bQmO3S2eLPE

      Delete
    2. 23 years ago eh?

      I remember it like it was yesterday.

      Yesterday however is a total blur.

      Delete
  126. Jacks there's rumours he's off to gillingham but moaning about the forums shows how thick the guy is. It was reported on sky and in the evening trivial, jacks, and he expects people like me not to say "the cunts off again" . He could stop it in a moment by denying it but guess what...

    Worse is the loss of marc Richards and griffiths. Basically we haven't got a team for next year.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Spits on the six player rule, I read and half midunderstood something about the implementation of fifas 6+5 rule in Germany. I now three quarters misunderstand it to be applied everywhere by 2013 ....excellent idea by that man Blatter who is widely misunderstood

    ReplyDelete
  128. Blogs lament

    As Spit says, i dont think there are any such rules, but then there are so many E Europeans who by virtue of history,(family etc)play their good football in Dland.(has AW signed a German or a Pole?)

    But as we have said before it is the structure, culture and depth of clubs in terms of all sports that is encouraged, even down to village level.
    How they finance it , I don' know, but where I am, say HSV & FCStP have at least 8 levels of football, plus girls, ladies teams, then RU (M/F)Hockey, Handball, Volleyball, Am football plus others.

    So it is not just a footy thing, clubs are all embracing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And that after about 80% of the clubs and sports unions were disbanded after the Allies took control of Germany after WWII.

      Delete
  129. Apparently, the Dancing Russian Grannies are all pregnant.

    Colleen is asking Wayne for his alibi.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Shes hired a private dick to follow his every movement, esp during the first 2 games, just a short hop across the UKR border

    ReplyDelete
  131. Obviously didn't hire Terry. His is very much a public dick.

    ReplyDelete
  132. Whatever the Germans do, as usual it works and we should learn from it. The EPPP looks to barca as a model and I don't think it will work here

    ReplyDelete
  133. Grobbelar had his wages on Arsenal to win 2-0 that day Spit.

    ReplyDelete
  134. I agree blog, the German model is the one we should be using. I just don't see England doing anything the German's do.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Agreed Bo. We need a national youth organisation run centrally along German lines. They need a uniform and a flag and a charismatic father figure. It should produce disciplined footballing ubermenschen and who knows maybe a pope

    ReplyDelete
  136. and a beer festival every weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Terriers very blades play off now on penalties.as a calculated. Insult to blotted everyone has missed so far. But odd this though..

    ReplyDelete
  138. Suddenly no one can miss. Fuck off blatter

    ReplyDelete
  139. Jeez Huddersfield win after 22 penalties. Epic.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Blades hero goalie missed the last peno

    ReplyDelete