Tuesday, 12 June 2012

So Far So Roy

Well at least we know what we are getting with Roy. First thing to know is that it's not going to be pretty. It's not even going to be passable given it's Friday night and you've had a skinful but at least she's interested and vertical. It's going to be turn over, take one look and run for the door with your clothes bundled up in your hands.

It is going to be simple though. Hodgson understands, and he's the first manager or even pundit to do this in about twenty-five years, that English footballers aren't all that good. They can keep a ball like a three-year-old keeps a secret. Ask them to interchange positions in a free-thinking way and they'll all end up pretty much in the same place. Hence my own philosophical treatise on England's midfield which many of you will recognise as the Gerpard Conundrum.

Given that the ball is such a transient passenger in the lives of an England footballer, it seems only sensible to ask the players to concentrate on what happens when we don't have the ball. And Hodgson is good at this. Keep your shape. Get behind the ball. And it worked against France.

Well, that is apart from their goal when no one closed Nasri down. But we'll forgive Parker that, given that he was flinging himself in front of everything remotely goalboung like someone auditioning for Kevin Costner's stunt double in The Bodyguard.

France helped a lot. They seemed to be adopting that old-fashioned 5-a-side rule where you're not allowed inside the D. Benzema preferred to trot out somewhere near the centre circle and hammer it - quite threateningly it must be said p from distance.

Ribery once again proved to be a scuttling idiot. Quite how this bloke earns rave reviews is beyond me. He's part of this absurd vogue for right-footers to play left-wing (and vice versa) which leads to (a) all the width of an attack being sacrificed as Franck blunders inside and into his own players; or (b) he stays wide and with his wrong foot hits a cross so puny that an a goldcrest* could clear it.

I'm longing to see an old-fashioned get-to-the-byline merchant tear some full-backs to shreds. The bloke who got closest to it was Debuchy, a definite plus for the French, whose performance in the opposition half was in mared contrast to, say, that of John O'Shea. As Ireland tried to press to get a second equaliser the Croats wisely gave O'Shea all the time in the world to do what he wanted with the football, and he duly gave it back to them. O'Shea is a full-back from a bygone age: honest, loyal, consistent and shite.

England's overlappers failed to bomb on but Glen Johnson had one of his better defensive displays and Cole confirmed what a top player he is. Upfront England managed five shots. Yep. Five. I'm sure Hodgson was outraged. ("Why so many, boys?"). But he did dare a little, did Roy, and Oxlade-Chamberlain was a delight to see, if only because his energy and fearlessness was such a contrast to those nervous ninnies that usually patrol that flank.

The main thing is that everyone did their job well, even if Young could've been a little smarter, Milner should've scored, and Jordan Henderson's appearance served to underline why we must not get ahead of ourselves.

I reckon it could've been better with a referee who thought that every sneaky Gallic trip was to worry about. Cabaye clipped more ankles than a runaway strimmer but remained without caution.

Me, I reckon one of Lennon or Adam Johnson is going to be desperately missed when Roy needs summat to happen from off the bench. I watched the Swedes and while there is officially 'nothing to fear' in them (I seem to remember Germany dscribed in the same way in the last World Cup - oops!) there's no chance of Hodgson's team comfortably beating anyone.

Ibrahimovic remains as easy to predict as an English summer. He's perfect casting for Abenazar in Aladdin. He's a bit of a magician too, but a fecking lazy one - the proper adjective I believe is Berbatovian. Mind you it's not like Shevchenko does a whole lot either, apart from (yawn!) scoring goals. (When I was a kid I despised Gerd Muller cos that was all he could do n all.)

Of the other teams, well only Russia have impressed, but then they always do until they don't, and then they're out. Holland were the big losers, squandering opportunities to profit like so many public-school stockbrokers.

Spain look fine, but the beauty of taka-taka grows stale with its familiarity. And Torres still looks like he's not the man to put the cherry on top of the approach play. (If he is, there's going to be a lot of lost cherries).

All in all, though, there's been the usual mixture - a bit dull at times, very cagy, but enough to keep you in its thrall - in fact, I am officially as happy as a pig in shit.

Maybe it's these austere times, but I dunno, I feel good watching England without the schizoid delusions of the recent past. As my mate Tony Thompson said last night, just after he'd agreed with that sentiment: "And you never know, Robbo, with a bit of luck and a fair wind, we could nick this tournament."

Siiiiiiggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

*Goldcrest - Britain's smallest wild bird, excluding like really titchy baby birds n that.

229 comments:

  1. Good stuff Robbo and Tony T is right, in fact, it's almost a foregone conclusion now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. For us Irish the whole thing has been a complete let down so far.

    I mean how are we supposed to laugh at the English when they don't think they're going to win it and aren't even hating their manager. It's bollix I tells ya.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GazUtd is back! Long time, son!

      Delete
    2. It's probably his more recent and more successful avatar, Gaz City.

      Delete
  3. Good stuff Robbo, enjoyed and agreed with all of it.

    England weren't the worst they could be, but the whole "nothing to fear" could also be a line that our upcoming opponants could be touting about us.

    They can keep a ball like a three-year-old keeps a secret

    Evactamundo! Really something they have to work on. Ball given away way too easily, better teams will punish us. But you're correct in saying that we kept our shape well, even if I thought the back line defended a little too deep at times.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I also must admit that I was pleasently surprised by the Italians, they played a good game and were very Un-Italian, for lack of a better adjective/superlative.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Perhaps should have done a little spellcheck?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why?

      This isn't a Harry Potter blog.

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the contribution, Animal piles. Any advice on use of the subjunctive?

      Delete
  6. Roman Abromovich making friends in Poland by paying 1.2mil euros to sit in the Presidential box during Pol v Rus.

    I fear for the safety of that whole city if the Poles lose tonight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doesnt even matter what happens in the game. The thugs from both sides are already at it.

      Delete
  7. A rose tinted view of another turgid England display. Carrying on from the Belgium and Norway games. The tragedy is that until England/France the Euros were looking good. We brought it down to Woy's level - mediocre.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think Roy Hodgson is a master Turd polisher and by god he's got a huge pile in front of him.

    Trick is, he knows what hes doing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is the other Tony T

    Good Blog Robbo, I take the display for what it was, slightly better than previous against a french team that underperformed, so lets take the point and see what comes next

    btw SPIT, a new word has appeared in German news,
    "Chelsea-like", seen it 3 times so far and on TV to describe Portugal and England

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What you saying Tone? They calling us cunts? ;)

      Delete
    2. No, but Balotelli heard someone calling him a stupid cunt, and thought it was racist chant

      Delete
  10. England based GKs not having a good time

    Szczesny, Given and now Cech

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Greek guy that just got subbed Kostas Fortounis.

    How much do you think he’s worth.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a steaming pile of horsecrap. Ive just wasted 5 minutes of my life reading this.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The officials have been utter crap so far! There making Howard Webb look good.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Rumours abound that Redknapp has left Spurs.

    Cant believe it to be fair, he'd wait for a pay off.

    ReplyDelete
  15. That seems plausible spits, the combination of court case and England snub have wrecked his credibility.

    ReplyDelete
  16. has he gone back to Portsmouth?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Sky have reported he's still writing the resignation letter

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nah, he's alredy finished;

      https://twitter.com/alexthenac/status/212619202606022656/photo/1/large

      Delete
  18. In fairness to Roy he's had less than a month,the only player we have capable of unlocking defences is suspended and it was the first time in goodness knows how long we've looked like a team.

    Keeping hold of the ball,as H2 points out,may take a little longer to get right.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Looking forward to a quiet night in the bar H2? Holland v Germany has a bit of history to it. Hopefully it will be a decent game (as Poland v Russia was last night), especially as the Oranje have to win, and Germany are not really set up to play for a draw (very good counter-attacking team, though).

    I thought England did OK against a more skilful team, but will need to find more attacking ability against Sweden. Wouldn't want it to come down to needing a win against Ukraine.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  20. Things must be a bit iffy at Spurs if we're taking key members of their staff.

    http://www.footballcourier.com/news/story/1206346/town-confirm-klugs-return/full_story.html

    ReplyDelete
  21. Klug was Magilton’s second in command until John Gorman’s appointment in 2008, when he moved into a head of football development role and was taking charge of the reserves when he was controversially axed by former boss Roy Keane in January 2010

    Roy K***E?Divisive?Whoda thunk it.

    ReplyDelete
  22. afternoon all..well its afternoon in this former british colony where new copters fall off the sky at the sight of some mist.anyway Robbo Taka-Taka means Rubbish/garbage in the swahili language.just to let you know!....could it be what you meant in your blog?

    The clever Lad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sadly yes and I hate gardening as the rain has made it into a jungle

      Delete
    2. nah couldnt have been you adampsb

      TCL

      Delete
    3. what gardening?? I assure you I have actually done some this summer

      Delete
  23. Should be 2 cracking games tonight - I reckon a draw in the Germany match and Portugal to win the other one

    ReplyDelete
  24. So Giroud to the gunners it seems. Not too shabby by Arsene so far. Buying quickly and reasonably big names too. He seems to have learnt his lessons well.

    The whole Redknapp thing is funny. What a dramatic distance from where things were before Capello resigned.Gone from title contender and best english manager to seriously considering role in qatar while spurs dither on contract extension. Oh, football, you fickle fickle sport.

    ReplyDelete
  25. i've watched every single match of the euros so far and i'm not even european... My roommate doesnt understand this... Anybody know a good explanation i can give for this.. Cos i'm stumped

    anyway, waiting anxiously for today's matches.. Tasty looking fixtures

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Any of your roommates French? Did any of them watch the French Open just coz Sharapova was hot? same thing. well, not really. Or is it? Forgot what I was talking about.

      Delete
    2. Relatively good football.

      I'm American and I've watched every match, albeit most on replay. Sure beats USA v. Antigua & Barbuda or Guatemala. Though I'd like to see the European sides come to Guatemala or the like and get a result with the hostile environments. I'm sure they could, but it is totally different from the European atmosphere.

      Delete
  26. I'm very proud of you guys! Youse are all sounding quite rational and realistic (Except Exmoor) about England and not demonising anyone. You'd be amazed at how that helps your team.

    I've a funny feeling about France this year and wouldn't be surprised to see Spain fall out of the running early on. Germany by a long way are still my favourites though.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Jussi Jaaskelainen agrees personal terms with Wet Spam. How many more Bolton players to join Fat Sam?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would he want any other Bolton players?

      Delete
  28. Afternoon lads.

    Yeah Jedi, the pre game drinks have started here in a very, very nervous atmosphere.

    I hope they can pull out a result, not only for the takings, but also for all the hours it took me to hang up all the fucking orange buntings. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did not know orange buntings could do that. kinky little bastards.

      Delete
  29. 1609:So ex-Spurs flop Helder Postiga keeps his place up front for Portugal, while current Arsenal flop Nicklas Bendtner does win that 50th cap for Denmark.
    ==================================
    Scariest rumor I heard in a long time was that Rodgers was planning to signing Bendy. If all the rumors are true we are going to end up with Bendy and Kalou. Good Lord.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dammit could do with a little spellcheck myself..off to hogwarts then.

      Delete
    2. Not much wrong with Bendy, if you can keep his ego in check.

      Look, he's just scored at the Euros.

      Delete
  30. Almost on cue, Postiga and Bendtner both scoring .

    ReplyDelete
  31. Heehee..Cristiano Ronaldo missing an easier one than Milner. Don't know why that makes me happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know what's better?

      Bentner scoring two.

      Delete
    2. On today's display and today's display only, Bendy is miles ahead of C. Ronaldo, who is arguably one of the best in the world, so Bendy could be right after all (about him being the best in the world blah blah).

      Delete
  32. Bendy obviously read this blog during half time.

    ReplyDelete
  33. What a fantastic game this is turning out to be.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Bendy scores again. Well have to Sri laughing at him if he keeps this up.

    To my Irish chums Gaz and Rod (if you are different people)- we're just keeping our powder dry, playing it cool, biding time.

    But expect the demented over confidence and delusional expectations to return with a vengeance in the quarter finals.

    And then when we win it you can bow at our feet European champion-es in club and national competitions. And you will Never hear the Last of it.

    Especially when this inexperienced, slightly crappy young England team emerges like a butterfly from its crysalis to thrash Spain in the WC final, 7-0.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Great result for Portugal. Keeps all possibilities open in the group. Now for lunch and then the big one.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Good result for Holland too, AH. If they draw against ze Evil Krauts, a win v Portugal would probably be genau

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Inderdate blogidy.

      We gaan daar er voor, mischien krijg ik ook mij fiets terug.

      Delete
  37. Henning Wehn: "we (germany) havent even been in a final for about 48 months...."

    ReplyDelete
  38. H, I hope this turns out to be the biggest celebratory piss up in Dutch history, with the epi centre being at the Waggon Wheel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheers Trott.

      I've schedualed an un-happy hour in after the game if the unthinkable happens.

      Delete
    2. good idea, half price German beer?

      Delete
  39. Achtung, Kaskopf, Raus Raus Raus gibst du mir dein Fahrrad!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Or double price oranjeboom (its a lager not a tune) that will keep em unhappy for an hour

    ReplyDelete
  41. Go Dutch!

    Mines a pint.
    Buy it yourshelf.

    ReplyDelete
  42. "The song of the male Goldcrest is a very high, thin double note cedar, repeated 5–7 times and ending in a flourish, cedar­cedar-cedar-cedar-cedar-stichi-see-pee. The entire song lasts 3–4 seconds and is repeated 5–7 times a minute.There is also a subdued rambling subsong, much like, in fact, the football punditry of Jamie Carragher."

    Wikipedia.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Guests of honour for Germany v Holland, Rudi Voller and Frank Rijkaard, are sitting within spitting distance of each other

    ReplyDelete
  44. A flock of horny and confused male Goldcrests have attacked a training
    grounded in Poland where jamie carragher was talking with stevie gerrard

    ReplyDelete
  45. I'm watching an under 11s game of cricket. Typical English scene village around encircled by oaks planted by the venerable Bede. Evening sun sinking low in the sky. Plaintive Church bells summon worshippers on bikes to evensong; , the thud of leather on size 5 willow and I just wish I was at home watching the fuckin footie

    ReplyDelete
  46. God I hope England get knocked out of the Euro's before we have a chance of facing Germany. That could be embarassing.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Problem as I see it is there’s way too much room between the Dutch lines. Defence- big gap- midfield non existant – gap- RvP alone in no mans land.

    Plus the Germans are pretty tasty.

    Grown men crying in their beer here. Unhappy Hour will be in full effect starting soon.

    Unless the come back of the century occurs in the second half.

    ReplyDelete
  48. For how long has the Goldcrest like football punditry of Jamie Carragher featured in Wikipedia? I'm impressed!

    Bantam_Doonhamer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome back BD, it's been toooo long.

      Delete
  49. Well H2,

    Looks like the start of the come-back of the century, cracker from RvP!

    Bantam_Doonhamer

    ReplyDelete
  50. Was like a fire drill here in the bar.

    I think I’m gonna call the guys from the Guiness book.

    But all is not lost,after some quick calculations;

    Germany 2 Denmark 0

    Nederland 3 Portugal 0

    The party continues.

    NL go for broke in the last game with the same XI that started the 2nd half.

    Germany are still the favourites for me though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RE calculated;

      Ger 1 Den 0

      Nl 2 Por 0

      NL through.

      Delete
  51. Big morning of headlines for me to catch up with:

    Andy Schlek out of the Tour, Arsenal sign another striker, and Harry leaves Spurs. Blimey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me, too.

      Tour of Utah announces route, my university still doesn't have a men's soccer team, and I'm hoping Klinsmann takes over at Tottenham so I can apply for the US manager's position.

      Delete
    2. Mind you I'd never make the team if they had one, nor get the US job. Wonder if I have any Andorran or San Marinese lineage... though Guam is a US protectorate, so am I eligible? My prime is rapidly coming to a close I could do with a cap. Just because I haven't played competitively since ~U9 doesn't mean the Mauritanians couldn't use me off the bench. US Virgin Islands? Anyone?

      Delete
    3. Don't worry Noel,brother Frank will take the traditional Schlek role of being a complete whiny toss face.

      Delete
  52. Just about to post about harry, noel.

    It bodes well for Woy tho ...my theory is that as we all know the england job is a poison chalice.

    BUT harry is the one whose drunk from it this time.

    ReplyDelete
  53. And lance armstrong dope shocker!
    Bisq

    ReplyDelete
  54. shame for Harry, that Monaco job got filled already.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Disappointed in the HvG game.the orange just didnt seem to play with any tempo or pressure, which unfortunately made Gerry look good
    At least we then had a loud grillenparty outside the bar afterwards

    ReplyDelete
  56. So Harry has gone then. The fact that I'm not too bothered probably says it all. He brought us our best league finishes of recent years, and for that I'm grateful. But with the squad we have, you'd expect that. Yes he seemed to get the best out of some players, but he alienated many others. At the end of the day, he won nothing with the best squad he's ever had to work with. Even Juande Ramos won the Carling Cup.

    But he got what he deserved, in my opinion, after the way he carried on over the England job. I think the writing was on the wall from that moment. Offered a new contract in February - didn't sign as he was wanting the England job. Told to end speculation over his future as it would unsettle the players - said the players didn't care about manager speculation. Let's a 10 point cushion go after winning one game in 11, then sees his beloved England job go to someone else - asks for a new, improved contract at Spurs. Levy stalls on contract - Harry says not knowing if he'll be the manager next season will unsettle the players, and says he would have left Spurs if offered the England job. He was right in his trial evidence - he's not too smart.

    So where does it all leave Spurs? The next appointment that Daniel Levy makes is absolutely crucial. Get it right and some of our stars will stay. Get it wrong, and we'll be back to square one. Personally, I hope Martinez isn't even mentioned. Moyes I'd love, but not sure he has the charisma to keep the top players at the club. Capello has a great club history, but I'd dread to think what salary he'd demand and whether his strict regime will be appreciated. AVB, maybe worth a punt. Any of Moyes, Capello and AVB would be welcome in my view. Martinez, Rafa, Christian Gross would not.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Good post noel. I guess they can all do the job, the rest is all about public image and the ineffable context-dependent quality of inspiration... whatever emotional capital that entails, Arry expended all his over the England job.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I was annoyed watching the Netherlands v Germany game. Every time RvP went close to scoring and failed to do so the cameras moved to capture Huntelaar's expressions. And the commentators kept on saying Had Huntelaar been there, this and that.. a bit harsh on RvP. But the problem wasnt that he was not free scoring as we've seen in PL this season... its about the service. Robben or Afellay just never provided him the kind of delivery that he gets from Theo at Arsenal. And Sneijder once or twice tried to do a "Songy's over-the-top" pass and RvP couldnt connect the volley smoothly.

    Robben's selfishness might just cost the Dutch from qualifying to next round. And Huntelaar and van der Vaart should start next game.

    ReplyDelete
  59. The Dutch lost because most of them wanted to win the Euros for themselves. On their own.


    Plus the coach insisting he has to make place for his son in law and disregard the real strengths of his squad.

    Huntelaar and RvP both should have started with Sjneider + vdV in front of the lone DM.

    That git Robben needs to stay the fuck away if he's not going to play a team game.

    And yes, even Kuyt is better than Robben. He is a team player.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree.Robben showed his true colours when subbed.The only problem the Netherlands had over the first two games was a failure to take their chances.

      Delete
  60. Felt sorry for H, must have been quite a dent in the night's beer consumption.

    I partied with the dutch fans back in 2006 when they visited Stuttgart. Best in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Harry Redknapp will reportedly be paid £3,000,000 in compensation by Tottenham. Which after tax will equate to approximately £3,000,000.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Liberation Day in the Falklands today. Public holiday with free booze at a public reception after all the commemoration services. If the Argies ever feel like invading again, they could do worse than invade on Liberation Day, cos everyone would be shitfaced.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Top post on 'Arry, Noel. Sorry to hear about the takings H2. VERY unhappy hour, I guess. The Oranje should have got a result against Denmark, though. Simples.

    On 'Arry and Spurs, the other person the beeb mentions is Jurgen Klinsmann, and (having watched the young German team he coached), that works for me. And he's got the "name".

    Really can't see the Irish getting a point in their group. Outclassed by Croatia, Spain and Italy to come. I think Croatia v Italy could be a good one tonight.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheers mate, no need to worry about me though, I'll survive. Won the blind pool yesterday (gave it all away in beer though) plus through the bizare twist of results Oranje are very much still in it, meaning Sundays game is not a dead rubber.

      Delete
  64. You're spot on Noel. I wonder though if this had happened a week earlier, would Roman have snapped up old 'Arry ?

    I see Rafa's name being bandied a bit by the media..poor bastard , I feel sorry for him really. And what price Martinez? Didn't he just 'commit his future' to Wigan after Liverpool and Villa didnt want him ? Sounds like a perfect replacement for Redknapp.

    ReplyDelete
  65. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  66. I see the League Cup has been renamed.The competition, won by Liverpool last season, has been rebranded the Capital One Cup after the League agreed a new four-year sponsorship deal.Missed a trick there.Should have been called the Capital One Cup Knockout.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Ally McCoist is to quit Rangers today. Harry Redknapp is set to take over & show them the proper way to defraud HMRC.

    ReplyDelete
  68. A magnificent review of England v France.

    http://www.wsc.co.uk/wsc-daily/1036-Euro-2012/8684-excellent-england-force-fearful-french-backwards

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think he's slightly bias to the English. You get a faint hint every now and then.

      Delete
  69. The beeb shut you down because not only are you funny but you also talk far more sense than any of its stable of "expert" pundits.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Things not looking to Rosie, for 'Arry, Looks like it's all gone to the dogs.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Very good, H2. Just please tell me Rafa is NOT coming to the Lane!! Ees a fackt 'ee ees crep manajer.

    Meanwhile, just found this headline on the Beeb:

    "Nicklas Bendtner faces Uefa probe for underpants stunt"

    Once a Gooner, eh?


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heh, Rafa at the Lane would just be too funny, I don't think my sides could take that.

      Ps, I replied an earlier post of yours a moment ago.

      Delete
  72. Spurs fan just in for his ears lowering.

    He'd like Klinsmann but says that the talk on the Spurs forums (fora?) is Tim Sherwood.

    ReplyDelete
  73. John Terry is still a doubt for the France game tomorrow. Roy Hodgson may call up Rio now...to ask if he has Sol Campbell's number.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Evening fellas. It's been a while (apart from the twitter fellas).

    Last night I was supporting the Germans (sorry h2h). My man crush on schweinsteiger hit a new high. Would love him at utd but I think he loves that bitch (bayern) too much.

    Keep smiling

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SCCCCHHHOOOOLLLLLLSSSSEEEEEYYYYY.

      I forgive you and great to have you back, don't be a stranger.

      Delete
    2. HHHHHH222222HHHHHHHH.

      Thanks mate. How are things? Hope the bar is going well.

      Delete
  75. Blimey, it's true, Scholesy is out of retirement. Nice to see you STGP!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Trotts, how are you mate? Good to see you mate.

      Really sorry to see you relegated. Hope you go straight back up.

      Delete
  76. woahhh torres, where u been at son?
    STGP and torres's libido back from the dead at the same time, coincidence?

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi beezee

      I cannot begin to tell you all the things I've been doing to torres to put him off his game. *shudder*

      I simply couldn't do it anymore.

      Anybody fancy taking over?

      *shudder*

      Delete
    2. And I thought someone had finally stroked his ego just the way he likes it.

      Delete
    3. hehe thanks STGP, it was a fun ride for the world of football while it lasted, hope you enjoyed the 'ride' as much hehe,
      did you do it to please the scousers by the way? closet scouser much?
      cheers

      --BeeZee

      Delete
  77. Just a note of caution to any Spurs fans wishing Klinsmann for manager,

    his only ever managerial success was with the national squad and that was mostly thanks to his assistant who has since taken over and continued the development.

    Plus, if he were to take over, he'd most probably not move his family to London from the sunny California.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Klinsmann is a no-go for me I think. I don't think Levy goes in too much for getting a Spurs hero of the past just to please the fans. And please, no Tim Sherwood! It's a shame Rodgers has gone to the 'Pool. It's a shame Hiddink has gone to the Russian millionaires. It's a shame Bilic has gone to Spartak Moscow. It's a shame Ancelotti has gone to PSG. It's a shame Harry acted like such a twat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Worry not Noel. Dalglish hasnt gone anywhere yet.

      Delete
    2. Hi Noel

      Well said.

      I think levy will get you a successful manager from Europe.

      'Arry is a good motivator for 2/3rds of a,season. His faults - tactically poor, squad rotation, youth development, poor management of fringe players, uses the press too much to get his own way

      He took you up a level but I think he would never win a league. Your next manager might take you onwards and upwards

      Delete
    3. Isn't Klinsmann managing the USA team at the moment?

      I think it's time that David Moyes got an opportunity at a big club rather than hiring someone who is available because they were rubbish somewhere else

      Delete
    4. Tottenham, a big club? Or do you mean a rich club.

      Everton, with all of it's limited resources and spending power is still a lot bigger club than Tottenham has ever been.

      Or probably ever will be.

      Delete
  79. I’ve been wondering why the Irish fans have a 3 on their shirts, I now think it’s to let the opposistion know which minute they’ll score in.

    ReplyDelete
  80. From the BBC Sport website England v Sweden build up......"Fit-again striker Johan Elmander also looks set for a recall at the expense of the misfiring Markus Rosenberg."

    Just how badly do you have to be playing for Elmander to seem like a better option? That's a bit like Social Services coming round and saying that your parenting skills aren't good enough so they're bringing in Josef Fritzel to replace you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People with Andy Carroll and Stewart Downing in their team shouldn't throw stones.

      Delete
    2. H, I don't think the fans will kick off against Sweden. All those fit blondes. The ladies are alright as well.

      I just bought a Sweden flag down whitecross street market, so I can burn it in front of their embassy if we lose. That should wind the fiery Scandinavians up a bit.

      Delete
  81. Republic of Ireland boss Trapattoni blames 'fear' for Ireland's exit from the Euros.

    Everyone else is blaming the fact that Ireland were shit.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Preview of tonight's game.

    http://www.wsc.co.uk/wsc-daily/1036-Euro-2012/8692-sweden-fear-roy-hodgson-s-new-controlled-england

    ReplyDelete
  83. welkommen bbc blogmeisters from the past. the big Q : is swedens lumbering lummox up front better than ours...and wouldnt it be nice to watch just one england victory as easy as spains last night?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. as we can't even beat Andorra comfortably you probably won't see one as easy as Spain's

      Delete
    2. ive rsrely seen one that easy, adam; if the irish were racehorses, by half time Spud Murphy would be looking for another 11 shergars

      Delete
  84. It wasn't even really a match was it?

    It was like watching one of the best teams in the world playing against a rag tag collection of has beens and never will bes from the average PL teams and lower divisions......... Oh wait.

    Nah, Ireland did amazingly well to qualify in the first place, maybe in the last game with Italy Trappy can give some of the other lads a chance to get some experience on the big stage.

    ReplyDelete
  85. With a name like Trapper Tony, he should at least have a coon skin hat and a winchester rifle.

    England to win 6-5 with Elmander scoring 5 for Sweden after taking the piss out of JT all night and bringing about JT's retirement from football.

    ReplyDelete
  86. If you got the time 'ave a butchers at 'Arry's departing interview;

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/18440514

    I've watched it a couple of times purely for it's comedy value.

    Harry in a David Brent like performance only really wants to be loved, plus love the bit where he admits to getting free ride from "the salt of the earth" cabbies of ol' Lahndan Town.

    Futher proof that he doesn't pay his taxis.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Loved the way he ended the interview "If the people like me and think I'm an okay bloke, then I have no problems". That man was made for media interviews.

      Delete
    2. Futher proof that he doesn't pay his taxis.

      (I like!)

      Life is a (free) Cab, Arry, old chum.

      Delete
  87. England midfielder Jordan Henderson, 21, has vowed to prove Joey Barton and all his other critics wrong.

    Full story: Daily Mirror
    ===

    Joey Barton is wrong, full stop.

    No futher proof needed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joey Barton should be a poster boy for Durex.

      The perfect advert for family planning.

      Delete
    2. Wouldn't be bad for tampax either.

      I can hardly think of a bigger bloody c......

      Delete
    3. And the more he gets punched in the face, the bloodier he's gonna get. Not that it seems to make the slightest difference to him.

      Delete
  88. bloody 'ell. voronin is still alive and apparently kicking.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Don’t think I’ve ever seen rain stop play with footy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was just thinking the same thing. Hollywood style rain and lightning though it has to be said.If they game is abandoned, do the teams get a point each ?

      Delete
    2. I guess not.

      "If this game is called off (which is becoming increasingly likely) then there are contingency plans to play the game tomorrow."

      Delete
  90. I'm waiting for the wet T-shirt comp

    ReplyDelete
  91. France playing without a striker despite Benzema being in there. Have to admit that cunt Ribery is having a decent game.

    ReplyDelete
  92. The Ukrainian anthem is called "Ukraine has not yet perished". Not yet? Expected any time now, then?

    ReplyDelete
  93. COME ON INGERLAND 4-0, nah fuck it, 6-0

    ReplyDelete
  94. Why the bloody hell are we playing in black? What's wrong with the white or red kit. It's not like it would clash with the yellow. Is it the FA trying to make some extra cash with shirt sales?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. maybe because were shit in those two colours.

      Delete
    2. I like it H2. A new excuse to use. It's not the fact that we aren't very good. It's that we've been playing in the wrong colour shirts.

      Delete
  95. yeah, great header! Has Ashley Cole got a new Swedish girlfriend?

    ReplyDelete
  96. Looks like we might be a bit shit playing in balck as well as red and white H2. Maybe blue or yellow next match?

    ReplyDelete
  97. red with white sleeves next!

    ReplyDelete
  98. I quite like this new black kit. I think we should stick with it.

    ReplyDelete
  99. What an impact Feo had, eh?

    And Johnson was pants. At fault for both goals.

    The Swede goal scoring defender didnt deserve to lose and had he done his job they might not have.

    ReplyDelete
  100. yeah well done Theo, he obviously doesn't understand Italian.

    ReplyDelete
  101. I didn't see that coming. Dodgy defending followed by gutsy determination and a very cheeky finish from Welbeck.

    ReplyDelete
  102. I thought Johnson had a decent game.Young was at fault for the first goal,as he should have been in the wall allowing Cole to defend.The 2nd goal was poor from both centre halves.

    We still struggle to keep possession,but great change from Roy.Theo as an impact sub seems to be the best way to use him,running at tired legs.

    Thought Lee Dixon was good,the two Alans are just pointless.

    ReplyDelete
  103. What jacks said.

    Id just add that Woy looks like he knows what he's doing doesn't he and its a looooong time since I thought that about an England manager.

    He shuffled his very average team so that instead of solid in defence and feeble up front as v France, it was the other way round. Simple passing often seems beyond this team.Young was the big disappointment for me.

    Otherwise typically England. A stormy sky of mediocrity and bumbling ineptitude lit by lightning flashes (from theo and welbeck) of genuine international quality.

    Chuck in Rooney, instead of young, playing behind welbeck and there's just enough hope to make watching the Ukraine match a very painful experience. What's the betting we scrape a last minute equalizer...

    ReplyDelete
  104. What Blogs said.

    I still would think reaching the quarter finals is the best we can expect.Can't see beyond Germany or Spain.

    We are struggling with our wide players.Young has been poor,nothing like the way he's played for Un**ed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Un**ed, as you put it, are much better than England.

      Delete
  105. On another note,I do hope Joe Hart just smiled at Ibrahimovic at the end of the game after he sledged him when Sweden went 2-1 up.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Favourite piece of sledging?

    Glenn McGrath:"Why are you so fucking fat Brandes?"

    Eddo Brandes:"Because after every time I fuck your wife,she gives me a biscuit."

    ReplyDelete
  107. ...Youngs a better player than oxfield chambermaid but his place on the wing must be un danger after two weedy performances. He looks like a stiff breeze would blow him away you need to eat a few pies, son.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oxo Chamberpot should be used in a similar way to Walcott.Impact with 20 mins to go,run at tired defenders.I'd have liked to see Etherington given a chance,but the cupboard is fairly bare on the left hand side of midfield.

      Delete
  108. Is that why terry is looking a bit overweight, jacks?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm surprised he doesn't look like a sumo wrestler Blogs.

      Delete
    2. They give him Oreos and he only eats the cream filling.

      Delete
  109. In the unlikely event we get to the final the lads will have commuted 10,000 miles so let's never forget what a useless overpaid incompetent twat capello was. (Assuming it was his decision.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Reaching the quarter finals is still not easy.Even then they'll have travelled more than Ranulph Fiennes.

      Delete
  110. Who would drive with Rooney?

    And who would drive with Rooney now
    And pierce the dim prats woven wig
    And dance amongst the would be wags

    Young man lift up the Euro Cup
    And lift your feeble midfield Woy
    And brood on septuagenarians no more

    And no more turn aside and brood upon footballs bitter mystery
    For Hodgson rules the bling fast cars
    And rules the shadows of rooneys brain
    And the fake breasts of the dim wags
    And all disheveled premiership stars

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  111. John Toshack's endorsement of Michael Laudrup persuaded Swansea City chairman Huw Jenkins to hand the Dutchman the Swans' manager's job.

    Full story: Daily Telegraph
    ====

    That would be the "Dutchman" who made more the a hundred appearances for Denmark?

    ReplyDelete
  112. Spain made over 800 passes against Ireland. The only way England could make that many is if we enter Wayne Rooney on Mastermind.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Was the other halfs' birthday yesterday, but ofcourse I wasn't going to miss the England match (or the French one) so deals were hashed out, contracts were signed, souls and appendages (one arm, one leg as per tradition) and contents of wallet were handed over, basically control over my life for the foreseeable future was bartered away to watch the Three Lions, but it was worth it.

    It was pretty busy in the bar so I had the game up on the big screen with the pictures and commentry coming from NOS (dutch tv) I'd been behind just before the game with BBC on, in the background, and heard Alan Shearer remark; “You’ve got to score goals to win games.” which got me wondering why he didn't have such a succesful stint as manager, because with insight like that how could you possibly go wrong?

    However, I didn't think my punters needed to be subjected to the warblings of the designer shirt brigade and there is no way I was going to take the chance that they may hear that utter plank Lawro say something insightful like he did during the Ger v Por game where he found it necassary to scold Lukas Podolski who was born in Gliwice, Poland, for not representing the country of his birth, a fair point....... but... hold on...... Lawro....

    Aren't you one Mr Mark Lawrenson who played for the Republic of Ireland?

    Where were you born may I ask?

    Oh yeah, that's right, Preston, England, now that's not exactly a part of the Emerald Isle is it? Muppet!

    It's hard enough being English abroad without those Numpties shaming us with their xenophobia and ignorance so NOS was left on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought England pretty much controlled the game in the first half and were good value for their lead, once again retaining pocession was the bigget failure, but they kept their shape when the Swedes had the ball and never really looked in trouble.

      The half time pundits remarked at how surprised they were to see how technically and tactically disciplined England were and how although they were no real star players that they looked solid as a unit and if they were to continue in the same vain this game would be won comfortably.

      But of course we know better and England being England refuse to make things easy. 10 minutes of defencive ineptitude gave Sweden a lifeline they gladly grabbed. Carroll made a silly foul and was lucky not to be booked, the resulting free kick was the catalist to their first, G Johnson made a valiant effort to keep out his own deflection, but I think it was him that was playing Melberg on side in the first place.

      For their second we just seemed to switch off completly, yet another set piece floated into the box and with not an England challenge in sight the ex Villa defender was allowed to beard in his second.... DISASTER.

      Roy then made an inspired change bringing on Feo for Milner and imeadiatly we looked better. His super, swervy, dippy shot surprised everyone, no one more then himself it seemed, and his assists for Wellback's briliant flick and later for Stevie G's point blank missed effort (I thought he should of left it for the Ox, but that's just probably my Gooner bias scratching its way to the surface) was the reason that Walcott annoys the fuck out of every Arsenal supporter on the planet, we all know he can do it, we've seen it so many times, yet for every flash of briliance there's a pile of hot smoldering poo waiting just around the corner for him to slip on or try to emulate, anyway, I digress.

      Behalf from the crazy ten, two goal conceding second half minutes I thought we looked pretty decent. There were, as others will no doubtedly point, a few below par individual performances, but on a whole as a team I thought we did well. The spirit and commitment was there and we looked a lot better going forward as a unit then we did in the previous game.

      Hodgson has got them working as a team and this is more important then individual performances, we can only win this as a team, being more then the sum of all parts. Look at Holland, some of the best players on the planet, but as a team, to my dismay, pretty toothless so far.

      So credit were credit's due, well done Mr Hodgson and please keep the squads feet on the ground for the next game against the Ukraines, who I'm sure will be more of a challenge then the Swedes.

      Delete
    2. I thought Gerrard should have left that one for the Ox as well. On Mark Lawrenson, he is a waste of space.

      Delete
  114. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  115. I'm rooting for Poland in this one. One of my heros, lech walensa is there, apparently. He should have the status of mandela plus as a docker he could smash your face in. Of all septuagenarian civil rights heroes, he's probably the worlds hardest. I shook his hand once - proud moment.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Don't blame me. If I use that app it posts double.

    ReplyDelete