Monday, 30 July 2012

Boyling Up Nicely


Danny Boyle, take a bow.

Personally I really enjoyed the multicultural rubbish. I know it’s difficult for a rabid Tory to embrace the fact that there is more than one shade of skin, belief, hairstyle, but the rest of us are pretty content with it.

It was great to see the slowly bloating power-brokers of this democracy of ours have to witness a ceremony peppered with gentle to blatant subversion. To get ‘God Save The Queen’ from the Sex Pistols referenced in the same show in which the Woman herself feigned a skydive was truly fantastic and spoke volumes for the old parasite. If she, and they, carry on like this then hellfire I might even let them carry on when the country is mine (in a limited comical Scandinavian mode of course).

I wasn’t too excited at the beginning when it all looked a bit Teletubbies and the livestock seemed bound to ruin everything. But the clambering factory towers, the founding of the Olympic ring, Kenneth Branagh proving that he can do more than be a pseudo-Swedish gloom-merchant, and them drummers thumping away throughout took the breath away.

I even liked that contemporary dance bit and that’s usually the moment when the wife stands in front of the telly in a protective manner and says ‘Put the mallet down, Derek, that flat-screen cost £599!’ (And I reply ‘If you’d have let us go to London last August I could’ve got one for free.’)

And of course that bit at the end, where Redgrave handed the torch on to seven young stars of the future to light that gorgeous Olympic pyre was right up there.

But to me the star of the show was Mr. Bean. I jest. The star of the show was the NHS. That’s right, world, we look after the poor and sick in this country – or at least that’s the principle – and most of us, by and large the ones who need it, are proud as punch with that. Rawnsley, Cameron, you tinker with it at your peril.

The only tedium was the athletes parading round, really. I know it’s an important part, but can’t they stick em all on golf-carts and whizz em round quicker? I tried to alleviate the tedium by playing ‘guess the next country’ only to be foiled by foolishly overlooking such great nation states as Kiribati and some ickle group of islets south of Madagascar.

The BBC commentary was full of insights though: New Zealand have won the most medals per capita; Czech athletes have a sense of humour; and Trevor Nelson knows less than fuck-all.

The Beeb’s coverage so far has been nothing short of wall-to-wall but there are cracks around the edges as ever. Why Gary Lineker has to sit there gurning away at us with the carbohydrate-laden crumbs of prawn-cocktail crinkle-cuts falling from his overpaid lips is beyond me. The lasses – Logan, Balding, Irvine, Barker – make Lineker look like some adopted child on a work experience course.

But the thing that really bugs me is that you get Sir Steve Redgrave asking rowers fatuous questions. Why? Surely if you’ve won five bloody gold medals you’ll already know the answer. It’d be like getting Eric Sykes to ask Russell Howard where he gets all his funny ideas from. (Here ‘funny’ is used in the lightest possible sense).

Whereas I watched Gabby Logan chatting to the campest couch in Olympic history last night as Ian Thorpe and Carl Lewis fielded her questions. And very engaging they were. Thorpe is a joy. All raised eyebrows and nudges and winks but a great deal of passion and knowledge too. Carl Lewis wore a check cap, as if to prove his American tourist credentials, but they were both so fired up by being there you couldn’t help but be swept up by it.

Indeed, such was the surge of love and national pride following Boyle’s (and thousands upon thousands of others) magnificent efforts, that we all felt certain that medals would flow like so many chocolate coins from a Christmas stocking. And they didn’t.

The fact that no one helped the British cyclists in the road race should be the source of a kind of back-handed pride. British cyclists are now held in the same sort of loathing as Manchester United, or the New York Yankees. It was an ABGB race.

And of course the Olympics isn’t really about us lot, as the the ludicrous number of empty seats will testify. Those of us who entered the super-expensive Olympic lotto only to find we couldn’t even get a pass for a bit of handball are grinding our teeth down to pulp every time another terrace appears on screen populated by the equivalent of the indigenous penguin population of the Isle of Man.

If you asked Danny Boyle he’d probably get the nursing staff of the NHS to bag the seats and I wouldn’t be opposed to that.

You could dwell too long on the opportunistic no-show corporate liggers that litter the Games (and have done since 1988), but the Olympics is about those people who take a bleeding age to do one lap of the track in the opening ceremony. Like the Korean archery lass who needed a nine to win gold and pinged it in. Or that 16-year-old Chinese lass who appeared to have borrowed an outboard motor for the last 50 metres of the 400 metres individual medley. Or our own Beth Tweddle bouncing around between the asymmetric bars like a graceful but agitated squirrel. Marvellous.

Two days in and it’s just splendid. Anything that makes me cheer Craig Bellamy is bordering on the miraculous.
And there’s one thing I’ve noticed that has made an ordinary mortal like meself feel inadequate it’s this: male gymnasts – you know, the incredibly muscled, superstrong blokes who don’t need two planks of wood and a box of nails to make themselves into a dangling crucifix shape – well, before they do the vault they run like right jessies. You just watch em.

181 comments:

  1. disgusted at the empty seats, and silly prices....but inspired by the work put in by all the competitors. Thinks the folks who are sat on those tickets should be named and shamed!!

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  2. My favorite part of the opening ceremony was not watching it, followed closely by the parts NBC cut http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-19037588

    As for the events, I have two options... A) watch live streamed coverage online that dies a slow death before freezing and crashing my browser literally every fifteen minutes or less, or B) watch replayed feeds with no commentary.

    I go with the latter, as it provides a more realistic experience of the empty events.

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  3. I thought the opening ceremony was pretty good, as far as these things go (cut 'em all in half, and you'd have a better event). Enjoyed some of the music, even if Macca was embarrassing at the end (retire, ffs). Using the mighty Floyd to accompany the fireworks was pretty effective.

    Stephen, you're lucky. The Beeb has managed to devote (I think) 48 channels (yes, 48) to full time olympic coverage. And nothing else appears to be happening in the world. So medals/missed medals get ridiculously overhyped. This is a complaint about the Beeb, not the event (whatever you might think of having Coke (not the HSBC variety) and Mucky Macky sponsoring an event promoting healthy lifestyles, not to mention Dow, owners of Union Carbide, of Bhopal notoriety).

    Still going to the footie at OT next week for the semis. Hope we get to see the Brits. Half empty stadium, no noise. Be just like a normal home game for Ryan Giggs.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See you at OT, was there for the games on Sunday. It's a nice change from normal spectators with families, the Mexican wave goes around about 5 times before people get bored of it.

      Delete
  4. Starfire (remember him?) wont be pleased, I imagine.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-19049495

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  5. Top blog as ever Robbo,

    I didnt watch the ceremony at first as I imagined Britain would no doubt try to match the simply grand display by the chinese the 4 years ago and make a fool out of themselves in failing to do so.

    But they didnt, as I were to see the next day, and it all turned out so well. Loved it.

    The ceremony showed that not all of us look and go about the same, like they do in China.

    So many different colours and shapes...the grand, albeit non-chronological, history lesson, the sense of humour all were well done and when they were not done perfectly, it showed that we are humans. Not some drilled in robonoids like the chinese.

    The choir of deaf children singing the anthem did it for me, had me eyes well damp.

    The world is welcome to our nations capital.

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  6. Oh, and one more thing the coments on BBC may be rubbish sometimes but they have little control over what is shown and how since they only have an IOC video feed to work with.

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  7. Top Blog Robbo, I sort of echoed your initial thoughts about Tellytubby land, but will someone realise and say that Macca is past it, he was bad, and bad at the DJ bash outside Lizzies house

    And sorry BLOG, about the cycling, just wanted somewhere I could write that David Bond is a cunt without getting moderated

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  8. Howdy folks.

    Been massively busy over the last few weeks, just managed to catch up on the last blog, excellent blow by blow on the opening Blogidy, now for this one. Good stuff Robbo.

    I decided I wasn't going to watch the games or ceromony or nuffink, I failed miserably. Although I didn't watch it live, I found the opening later on on internet and have been hooked again ever since, been watching everything I can and found myself ingroced in sports that for the other 3 years and 50 or so weeks that the O's are not on I really couldn't give a toss about.

    A combo of Dutch TV and the beeb on in the bar will give me a pretty diverse look at the games, plus the highlights when I clock off, (if I'm sober enough to watck. ;P)

    Just saw the GB lads get 4th in the diving, Tom Daly needs to team up with Ashley Young next time around. Seriosly trhough, nice try, shame about the 4th dive though. Those mexicans were nutters, briliant stuff.

    ======

    Once again big thanks to Jacks for setting up the FFL, H2HFC will be signing up for the third consecutive season.

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  9. Is it me or has Robbo reduced the font size of his missives so that those of us who are old and bleary-eyed end up with headaches trying to decipher his jokes? Or is it all in nonsensical Arabic?

    ReplyDelete
  10. ...and just when you thought no Macca or Dame Elton, out comes the scouser with the unfeasible hair. The best Beatles song of the evening was not "sung" Sir Paul, was it? Like Anon said above, retire ffs, while you still have a shred of dignity. PLEASE!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "out comes the scouser with the unfeasible hair."

      I wasn't there actually. Honest.

      Delete
    2. Unless you are 70 years old without a single grey hair, it wasn't you!

      Delete
  11. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/18904137

    Add Spain to the list of nations claiming Olympic football is worthless. (Remove Honduras.)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh, and not sure what to make of this.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/19052103

    The FA need to come out with a list of all "abusive and/or insulting words and/or behavior", including swearing, racial language, offensive gestures, etc., complete with a number of matches and/or amount of money fined for each instance, multipliers for using them in combinations or different orders with different colors or other possibly inoffensive terms, punishment for being the first person to say it vs. "just repeating it"...

    Now that would be a good read. I'd vote for Terry to be captain for a match just so he could read out the list at one of those Fair Play speeches. Not that England make it that far in any of the tournaments, but still.

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  13. Just watched the gymnastics (yeah, I know) unbelievable what GB did, can't belive that they got in to the medal positions, even more unbelievable that they were in second..... until the Japs disputed something or the other and they got demoted to Bronze, still great, but from what I saw the Jap guy fucked up, so how can they appeal?

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  14. I had made no plans to watch is whatsoever, although the wife had been looking forward to it for weeks. I was quite happy sitting with my back to the TV screen working on the laptop.

    That was until I paid it a brief passing glance. That glance then turned into a five minute attempt to ridicule it ot my other half. I couldn't... I was mesmerised.

    I tried to convince myself that there would be a boring moment so that I could train my eyes away from the telly and then say how much money we must've blown on getting a scene from the Tellytubbies into the Olympic Stadium.

    However it was just too good and I would've made myself look an idiot had I complained about any part of it. I was in awe of the whole event, particularly the youngsters carrying their flames to the breathtaking cauldron.

    On the funny side of things, watching the flag bearing competitors reached it's peak when I witnessed Ashley Cole holding the Mozambique flag aloft! Google it.. I'm sure it's out there!

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  15. Good stuff Robbo. Dunno about the coverage over there but here it's fuckin' shite. I just watch a rerun of the opening ceremony each night and check the medal table.

    One exception though, Ladies Beach Volleyball. Highly complex strategy it seems, requires a good deal of careful study.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. couldn't agree more,canadian coverage is shite too. have seen a mens GB game yet. Robbo at his best. must agree with the womens volleyball , but needs more slo-mo

      Delete
  16. So what's Gareth Bale ever done to Charlie Adam then? Does Adam not like the Welsh? Does he not like monkeys? Does he not like Welsh monkeys? Or is it just coincidence that he's only played two games in the last year, and both have been against Spurs, where he's been marking the Simian from the Valleys, and his tackling has been found out to be a bit 'shit'?

    AH, from previous blog - who else are we nicking off you? Joe Allen? That clause in his contract seems a bit off - 15m to Arsenal, Chelsea, City or Utd, 10m to anyone else. Not sure he's all that good - may have been big fish in small pond syndrome (a bit like Charlie Adam). I saw we were linked with Ryan Babel the other day! I would have believed it if Harry was still there, but don't think AVB is that much of a chump.

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  17. Tone - it were AH had a moan about the cycling . I love it, me.

    GB medals effort still in the,shadow of the brilliant opening ceremony but well be ok when we get to all the sitting on your arse sports

    In the meantime, I don't really get this fascination with beach volleyball. Are you waiting for them to produced the ball from their vaginas or suck the ref off or something? Hot Lesbian Beach Volleyball Action, maybe?

    Not going to happen lads, stick with the real sports like Antonija Mišura in the basketball or jess Ennis in the heptathlon

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  18. Noel, 30LBS in kg is 13.63636363636363636363636363636.

    However, it smells worse in kilograms.

    Blog, you must have missed the fisting between sets.

    ReplyDelete
  19. www.premierleague.com

    215538-62238

    215538-62239

    215538-62252

    215538-62260

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  20. Reading the David Bond blog about the mens road race was hilarious.Apparently he's not seen as a good journalist.

    Whoda thunk it.

    I thought he fitted the BBC profile perfectly.

    On a sad note,listening to Barry Davies commentating on the hockey.He does sound very old now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you read the original one, or the one he updated hoping that noone would notice?, Not heard from the Beeb yet on my official complaint

      And yes that was sad, listening to BD

      Delete
    2. I didn't read the original piece Tony.Saw the BBC news report on Youtube.I realise the Beeb doesn't really cover cycling,but they surely could have asked ITV if they could borrow Ned Boulting for the road races.

      Delete
    3. Just read his blog. Muppet. I think the comments section gives a more or less unanimous verdict on his performance. I especially liked the accusation by Bond that Vinokourov wasn't worthy of his win due to his drugs ban in the past, neatly sidestepping the fact that the British team captain on the road, David Millar, was himself a banned drug cheat a few years back.

      Couldn't find the news report on youTube. It's a symptom of my computardness.

      Delete
  21. Seems to me that David Bond is getting a good kicking on this messageboard and I don't feel he deserves it. Except for the fact that he sounds like a Sittingbourne estate agent, has all the analytical depth of a Corby trouser press and can't appear to string a particularly adequate sentence together. Apart from that, he's great.

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    Replies
    1. He certainly seems to think he is, Robbo, and who are we to argue with the great David? Smuggest, most self satisfied nonentity I've seen since ... well, Phil McNumpty.

      Good blog, and I really enjoyed most of the opening ceremony: watched it again last night (fast fowarded the athletes, and turned Macca off, though). I agree with the "retire" comments above.

      The mighty Floyd worked a treat with the fireworks at the end, though. Where is DG3 when you need him?


      Jedi

      Delete
    2. I'd never really read any of his stuff before, but after his last two posts I'd rather James Bond. Or Gold Bond. Or 4 Non Blondes.

      Must admit he looks dashing in that profile pic, though. In an "I hope all the ladies out there don't realize this is a rented suit" sort of way.

      Delete
  22. So that's Kuyt, Maxi, Aquilani and Carroll gone then and all replaced by Borini. He must be really good then.

    Noel - gylfi, possibly allen and now possibly gaston ramirez. I laughed about poor old Babel meself. He is apparently surplus to requirements at Hoffenheim. How he must be hoping Rafa gets a coaching job somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's always got his rap career to fall back on.

      Delete
  23. Finally!!!!!! Went cold turkey for a few days already.
    Why do u take so long to blog Robbo????
    Anyhow, team GB is shit! Football is shit! Athletics is shit! Swimming and pretty much everything else is shit.
    Can't wait for the new season to start in August.

    K-1

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  24. Where do I find Bond's latest blog? Can't find "pillock" as a category on the BBC website.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The title of the blog sets the tone of the article.

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/davidbond/2012/07/cavendish_and_co_disappoint_in.html

      Delete
  25. Opening Ceremony was brilliant -

    Best bits - Blue Monday thumping out - one of the greatest tunes ever

    Abide With Me by Emilie Sande - fantastic song - perfectly performed

    Chad's walk out music

    Randon person joining in with Indian athletic team

    Daniel Craig escorting the queen

    David Beckham dressed as James Bond driving the Olympic Torch up the Thames in a speedboat

    Worst bits - The whole lost my phone, found my phone, update facebook and have a party in the attic was a bit of fatuous rubbish.

    Danny Boyle playing clips of Trainspotting - pretentious muppetry. I mean who puts clips of drug addict characters in a film at an event where there is always a doping scandal.

    Anything involving David Bond

    Not showing the Pet Shop Boys before the Tennis on the BBC or iPlayer (were doing their new single plus 2 of their best older tracks so not happy).

    Overall it was good though

    ReplyDelete
  26. Adams summary of the opening ceremony

    Best bits, all of it except

    worst bit

    mentionning PSB

    ReplyDelete
  27. Steven Pienaar bought by Spurs for 3m 18 months ago. Starts 5 games, is loaned back to Everton, and then sold to them for 4.5m. Two examples of a) Harry Redknapp's transfer policy - buy players that he 'fancies', find out that they're not all that t'riffic, then don't play them, and b) Daniel Levy's bartering skills.

    Hope he does well back at Everton. A good little player, but was never going to get into our team unless there were a few injuries to the first team.

    ReplyDelete
  28. In the general hierarchy of plausible but highly unlikely scenarios in what order would you place the following ....

    A) Ye Shew, or Ye Godz, the Chinese schoolgirl swimming prodigy who would have outpaced Beckham in his speedboat, never having touched performance enhancing drugs (commies are cheats, innit)

    B) Ian Thorpe has a girlfriend, as he claims

    C) the Mayans calendar correctly predicts the end of the world for 20 December

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  29. That last one is the only one that I can see possibly being true, blogs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If Liverpool are in the top 4 and this happens, I'm gonna be seriously pissed.

      Delete
  30. the last one has been incorrectly interpreted. It's actually the day my lad gets his driving license. They meant to say, the end of the Chevy.

    ReplyDelete
  31. you win AH, with

    D) Liverpool in the top 4

    trotts, kill two pigs with one angry bird, feed the license to the puppy.

    ReplyDelete
  32. After his Wordl Matchplay win, Phil Taylor says he plans to work on his fitness.

    Yes, darts player Phil Taylor wants to work on his fitness. Jocky Wilson would be spinning in his grave!


    Jedi

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  33. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/olympics/2012/07/31/hope-solo-brandi-chastain-us-soccer-feud/index.html?sct=sc_t11_a0

    Certainly makes the women's game worth following, if not watching. (Maybe the semis and finals... maybe.)

    Interestingly enough, Chastain (the commentator) was correct; the defending was poor. Of course, that doesn't make her worth listening to. Solo is right in that only the best should be calling the matches. But when you can't get the best, you take the best you can get. Besides, "the best" would have criticized the poor giveaways, too. David Luiz took flak throughout last season, and rightfully so, when he overreached. There were arguments over whether the commentators were "correct", but not whether they knew what they were talking about.

    Oh, and congrats on beating Brazil.

    ReplyDelete
  34. funny ....

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/olympics/london-2012/9444533/Boris-Johnsons-zip-wire-mishap-becomes-an-online-sensation.html

    future PM? saints preserve us

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  35. the sale of Port Vale may fall through today leaving us hanging like boris the clown from a zip wire.

    yet another penniless shyster trying to blag his way to a leveraged buy-out? worrying.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Why are teams always 'rocked' by injuries? Why can't they just suffer injuries, or just be disappointed? Slightly pissed off, even?

    Well done to Wiggo for his TT gold medal, and great interview on Sky News. Can't disagree with his celebrity culture comments.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1ISVC7GxX8&feature=share

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems like a top bloke, Wiggo.

      Delete
  37. Wiggins for SPOTY - must be a shoo-in

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So was Jenson Button, and look what happened there. Fucking Ryan Giggs.

      Delete
  38. What? We miss so much of the news here in the USA. Jenson was fucking Ryan Giggs? It's really no wonder he didn't get the SPOTY.

    ReplyDelete
  39. He was up for it Trotts, but when Ryan found out that they weren't related, he lost interest.

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  40. Jensen would fuck a frog if he could stop it hopping so giggs had no chance.

    And now I'm off to the north staffordshire wilderness, hoping finally to solve the Stoke version of the 6 Bridges of Konisberg philosophical conundrum...viz. is it possible to visit the 6 Pubs of Burslem, without getting stabbed

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  41. Robbo, outboard motor you said? wait till our little tough kenyans run 10,000meters through out with the speed of a 200meters dash! those sprinters are pretenders.we should finish about 5th overall.i predict...

    The Clever Lad.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Yet more proof NBC doesn't understand (Olympic) sports coverage.

    Brazil v. Japan women's quarterfinal football match with commentary on the NBCSports feed. Ten minutes in. 7 consecutive commercials. No women's match is worth enduring that sort of commercial interruption.

    Yesterday afternoon, boxing on the CNBC feed. They skipped entire matches for commercial breaks. They also passed on two rounds of what they billed as one of the best amateur boxers in the world for studio talk and commercials.

    I guess I'll switch back to the live feeds without commentary, as they have fewer commercial interruptions (that are better timed--halftime in football, between bouts in boxing, etc.). Even though I don't always know what's going on, the boxing commentators say they don't understand the judges, and every word out of the football commentators' mouths reinforces that they don't know how to call a match, anyway. In neither case does the tiny bit I might gain from the commentary outweigh the blunders and commercials.

    Is the BBC (or someone else) doing a better job?

    And does anyone else find handball oddly enjoyable? Don't know why it hasn't caught more (here). Looks simple enough to learn, requires minimal equipment, moves at a relatively quick pace, includes just enough contact and opportunity for violence, and has room to argue about vague rules that aren't completely central to the point of the game. Thoughts?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Team handball, by the way. Shows how much I know about it that I forgot there was a difference.

      Delete
  43. Hard to watch Honduras struggle (and fail) to overcome a three-man disadvantage against Brazil. Two sent off, albeit one late, and the ref turned out for the Brazilians from the outset. As poorly as the Brazilians played, the ref was even worse.

    Interesting to hear the crowd boo Neymar as he flopped for fouls and cards. I was rather disappointed, too, but I'll be a bit quieter if Chelsea sign him.

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  44. The Chinese of course always trained by swimming from the mainland to Hong Kong with the Red Army chasing them in speedboats with clubs

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  45. Didn't watch the handball Stephen but I'm sure thierry Henry would be good at it

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  46. Penalties again, eh?

    Well, at least you made the tournament.

    As hosts.

    ReplyDelete
  47. More proof we're the greatest nation on earth but not good at football.

    I was at old trafford to watch the Egyptian vs Japs. Nowt special.

    Then reenacted the game on Corby sands with Gormleys astonishing Another Place statues as the leaden Egyptians vs me and the boys.

    Perfect Day.

    ReplyDelete
  48. What? They have sand and sea and whelks in Corby? I thought it was near Northampton? How many Corby's can there be? Is there a Corby-on-Sea?

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  49. and thanks Gooners for the loan of one more of your embryotic signings.

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  50. Corby on Sea is just up the coast from Stoke-on Sea, trott, not far from Crosby, which is what I meant to type

    ReplyDelete
  51. http://www.portvalesupportersclub.org/site/?p=914

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  52. ahhhh Crosby, the scouse elite. Very nice.

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  53. Had to look that up on the local search engine Bing.Crosby.

    ReplyDelete
  54. That one came Out of Nowhere.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Yup, he pulled a white Christmas out of his hat.

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  56. Why is it always white Christmas?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Term was probably coined by Liverpool FC.

      Delete
  57. Off to OT tonight for the football. S Korea v Brazil. Should be fun. I've actually quite enjoyed the Olympics, although the BBC's relentless commentary does pee me off.

    One big point in its favour, though. The reception Mo Farah got in the final of the 10k should be enough to ram a supersize portion of "multicultural crap" right up Aidan Burley's arse. On Burley's criteria, Farah would never have been allowed into the ocuntry.


    Jedi

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  58. Spent some fuckin' money summer of 2012 (part III)

    http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/arsenal-sign-spain-midfielder-santi-cazorla

    ReplyDelete
  59. As rare as Arsenal spending money I have finally had the time to write a new blog -

    http://adampsb.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/winner.html

    Please read, comment and vote as usual

    ReplyDelete
  60. Now that we've wrapped up the 3 transfers in the summer. Eagerly waiting for the start of the new season.

    Bring it on!!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Brilliant Olympics, we wont match the 56 golds of London 1908 (about 50 more than we got in the Olympics before and after) but put in that context it has to go down as the best ever.

    Footballs the one I would most like us to have won tho.

    What is it? What's missing? Intelligent coaching? Stuart Pearce is no genius thats for sure. If Sam Allardyce and co had semtex for brains they wouldn't have enough to ruffle their expensively woven hair transplants. I know for certes that some of the coaches at pro clubs coaching their academy kids are hair raisingly thick. Add in unintelligent players who lack the true commitment to being the best or perhaps the belief? Or imagination?

    Comparing Wayne Rooney with Chris hoy, or Brownlees, or Ennis (yes I would) or Farrah leads me to conclude there's some fundamentally missing lack of pride, lack of true aspiration to be the best in our footballers. I dunno why. Too much money? Too much adulation by idiot-celebrity-worshippers?

    Shortage of money (port vale excepted), native talent and enthusiasm certainly aren't the problem. Fuck it, I need a new sport to follow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't have the skill (Brazil) to make up for the lack of teamwork (any successful side other than Brazil).

      Delete
    2. Lack of ego and a decent coaching system.Look at how hard the cyclists work,then compare and contrast the attitude of the footballers.Couple of hours a day "training" then off to the golf club.

      Delete
    3. Blog, I watched South Korea play Brazil last night. Brazilian ball skills are just in a different league to any Englishman. I think it must be down to training from an early age.

      SK were (technically) limited, but played some spirited football, were well organised and played as a team. A bit like England under Woy (with less long ball and more skill). From all I heard SK were the better side against GB.

      To try to answer your question, I reckon it's a mixture of all these things: coaching, dedication, money.

      Probably not a lot of help. Sorry.


      Jedi

      Delete
  62. I mentioned the 1912 Stockholm games...this caught my eye. It was the first time any Asian country took part with a Japanese competitor in the marathon; it didn't go well.....

    Kanakuri Shizō, a Japanese marathon runner went missing during the race. He stopped at a party taking place in a villa on the marathon route in order to quench his thirst, before catching a train to Stockholm and left the country the next day. He returned to Japan without notifying race officials.

    He completed the race 50 years later after being invited back by the Swedish authorities with a (unofficial) time of 54 years, 8 months, 6 days, 8 hours, 32 minutes and 20.3 seconds

    ReplyDelete
  63. Nice to see the Emirates Elves have finally signed their leader Santa Clauzora

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guess someone other than Rooney will be enjoying the Ho Ho Hos this winter.

      Delete
  64. Trott,

    I see the kid from Arsenal has settle din nicely at Bolton.
    A hattrick in 16 minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  65. no shit! That's excellent, it took Ngog 16 games to get 3 and Elmander took 16 months that felt like 16 years.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Jedi we're just not Brazilian enough. Mind you they were toilet at the last WC

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. Brazil are not English enough.

      We were more toilet than Brazil at the last World Cup!


      Jedi

      Delete
  67. England move to third in Fifa rankings, the country's highest ever position....


    We're poor, but were better than the nob who designed these rankings

    ReplyDelete
  68. I just ignore the FIFA rankings. They don't reflect the reality, so they are useless.

    ReplyDelete
  69. I have discovered a new favourite sport at the Olympics. Women's hockey. The Holland v new Zealand match was awesome with some amazing "talent" on display but there must be a better eway to decide these games than a penalty shoot out. Maybe topless jelly wrestling? And I'm gutted that they didn't swap shirts after the game.

    ReplyDelete
  70. "Arsenal will not sell Robin van Persie, 29, for less than £20m and will demand an extra £5m if Manchester United make an offer for the striker."

    The gunners could set a precedent here. All future transfers to un**ed, from all clubs, should add 5 mil to the asking price.

    ReplyDelete
  71. The weather here recently reminds me of english weather... rain followed by rain followed by rain. If you can belive the reports, 94% of the philippines is flooded. I'm living in the dry 6%.

    ReplyDelete
  72. I'm not a fan of twitter, and so don't use it, but I was forwarded this earlier via carrier pigeon and found it chucklesome:

    Piers Morgan: 'I was very disappointed @bradwiggins didn't sing the anthem either. Show some respect to our Monarch please!'

    Wiggins: '@piersmorgan I was disappointed when you didn't go to jail for insider dealing or phone hacking, but you know, each to his own.'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funny, shame it's a fake!

      Delete
    2. Piers Morgan ‏@piersmorgan
      And yes, I was very disappointed @BradWiggins didn't sing the anthem either. Show some respect to our Monarch please!
      Expand
      Reply Retweet Favorite
      2 Aug Colm Quinn ‏@mrcolmquinn
      .@piersmorgan I was disappointed when you didn't go to jail for insider dealing or phone hacking, but you know, each to his own @bradwiggins

      _________________________________________________

      It wasn't Brad Noel,but Colm Quinn.

      Still a great tweet though.

      Delete
    3. Another reason for me to not like twitter then - it makes me look stupid. Or even stupider.

      Delete
  73. Ellen Hoog jag vill je neuken in de keuken

    ReplyDelete
  74. Alex Ferguson - "When somebody's paying 45 million euros (£35.5m) for a 19-year-old boy you have to say the game's gone mad. I find it quite amazing."

    But 8 years ago when you paid £30 million for an 18 year old Wayne Rooney that was ok Alex?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rooney was £25 million!

      Delete
    2. Plus inflation, plus future hair transplant, comes to 30m.

      Delete
  75. As big tits are an impediment to athletic achievement, as evidenced by their total absence at the Olympics, (the only tits I've seen all week are the GB football team) could I suggest they become qualifying characteristics for the paralympics in order to boost viewing figures? We could call them the Parabazoomalympics.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Do you really want Katie Price representing GB Blogidy?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Big Tits, only half a brain: She sure qualifies.

      Delete
  77. That's it, no tits! Very astute observation blog, I knew there was something missing. A gold medal looks much better when it's hanging in an ample cleavage. They've made up for it somewhat with the camel toe hugging briefs and multiple rear view cameras but still, a boob here and there would help.

    ReplyDelete
  78. So we got gold in the pony sideways trotting line dance competition, but was surprised to see in 4th place the German Helen Langehanenberg riding Damon Hill

    Can't trust these deutsche Frauen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. which track was it at Tone? Grand Snatch?

      Delete
  79. This RT from Terry FBH amused me......

    SuperAlly‏@HenryBooth269

    Liverpool's sponsor, Standard Chartered accused of hiding £161b in suspect deals. Police found £35m in Newcastle and £20m in Sunderland.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Am really dissappointed nobody has taken notice of track events last night on this blog,our great Kenyan D.R upstaging the great U.B.......lack of Tits i guess is to blame!!

    The Clever Lad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well, there's tits and there's also the fact that only about 1% of all events get a mention here.

      However, if you wanna talk about whelks, the weather in Manilla or Jensen Button's alleged deviant sexual preferences, this is the place. Indirectly you can also link to Pet Shop Boys lyrics.

      Well done D.R. on the his world record performance. Very special.

      Delete
  81. Ah..just a couple days away from the community shield. Footy season is upon us, and Liverpool doing a decent job in their first competitive game at home (albeit against FG Gomel). Even nicer to see Adam, Hendo and Spearing on the bench and Borini getting his first Liverpool goal out of the way. West Brom here we come!

    ReplyDelete
  82. Fuckin 'ell..just looking at the FFL and Chelsea have so many top notch midfielders, mata might not get a look in. Pick chelsea players at your own peril.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. eden hazard is about the only one guranteed a game so picked him

      Delete
    2. Dont know that anyone is guaranteed a game Adam. Pick 4 among Lamps, Essien, Mikel, Hazard, Oscar,Marin,Malouda,Meireles.

      Delete
    3. I think at the price they paid for him I can't see him not starting as playing time was apparently his deciding factor in going to Chelsea

      Delete
  83. Goalkeepers: Joe Hart (Manchester City),Jack Butland (Birmingham City), John Ruddy (Norwich City).
    Defenders: Leighton Baines (Everton), Ryan Bertrand (Chelsea), Gary Cahill (Chelsea), Steven Caulker (Tottenham Hotspur), Phil Jagielka (Everton), Kyle Walker (Tottenham Hotspur).
    Midfielders: Michael Carrick (Manchester United), Tom Cleverley (Manchester United), Frank Lampard (Chelsea), Adam Johnson (Manchester City), Jake Livermore (Tottenham Hotspur), James Milner (Manchester City), Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (Arsenal), Jack Rodwell (Everton), Ashley Young (Manchester United).
    Forwards: Andy Carroll (Liverpool), Jermain Defoe (Tottenham Hotspur), Daniel Sturridge (Chelsea), Theo Walcott (Arsenal).

    ReplyDelete
  84. Can anyone explain how the Olympic falling off a high playform into the water works? All these guys seem to jump off, twizzle around in the air and then fall into the water head first, at which point the commentator either says "yes a very good dive" or "that's not one of his best" but they all look the same to me. And then there's the whole "entering the water without a splash" thing. Obviously they all make a splash. They've just fallen 10m into water. Of course they make a fucking splash.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Yeah Colch, used to be if the judge on the end gets fuckin soaked, it was a shit dive, virtually a belly flop, if he's bone dry then it was a good entry, nowadays they have a camera that measures the displacement and pattern of the splash. Then they grade the angle of penetration and whether or not their legs stayed together when they were supposed to be, just like in muff diving really.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Kate Price's vagina could be invaluable in the 10m synchronized muff diving event, featuring a double backwards twisted pikey.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Daley should bomb the last dive and go out with a splash.

    ReplyDelete
  88. What's worse? Ignorance or apathy? Personally, I don't know and I don't care.

    ReplyDelete
  89. I spent £3000 on penis enlargement.

    Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Canoeists are the anti-cyclists, titchy legs and massive arms.

    ReplyDelete
  91. The Olympics has inspired me to sit on my arse and watch an inordinate amount of TV and I'm sad its almost over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. me too. This home shopping channel is addictive.

      Delete
  92. Seems like fewer FFL teams this season...buck up lads..sign up soon.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Thanks Spit, I hadn't heard.... RIP Sidney, terrible news. Sid, John Cooper Clarke, Mark E Smith, my three all time heroes. One down now and I'm gutted. Exchanged tweets with him and stopped going on there when he fell silent, I didn't know why. I'm devastated.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Oh fuck that reminds me that we're fucked. I'd forgotten for a couple of weeks.

    More Bread! More circuses, please!

    ReplyDelete
  95. "Look at the man go, it's like trying to stop a water buffalo with a pea-shooter."
    "This lad has more checkouts than Tescos."
    "That was like throwing three pickled onions in to a thimble."
    "He's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy." [Before Keith Dellar's world title triumph in 1983]
    "Bristow reasons; Bristow quickens; aaaaah Bristow!"
    "William Tell could take an apple off your head, Taylor could take out a processed pea."
    "There's only one word for it - magic darts!"

    Howay Bonny Lad.

    A sad loss.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Dear Sepp Blatter,

    We don't do stacks of used notes in brown paper envelopes but if you give us a chance we do throw one hell of a party and we do it right. Olympic Stadium full to capacity every day and 2.5 million tickets already sold for the Paralympics (compared to 150k in Beijing).
    Now why don't you give Russia and Qatar all their bribe money back and just award the World Cup for 2018 to England and the 2022 World Cup to Australia. And then do us all a favour by checking yourself into one of those Dignitas clinics they have out there in your neck of the woods.

    Regards,

    The British Public

    ReplyDelete
  97. Closing Ceremony thoughts?

    (Did write more but it got lost in cyber space, stupid internet connection...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pretty Good although Jessie J's cover of We Will Rock You didn't quite work for me. Best bit was about 9:20 just after Our House and Parklife with the Tennant/Lowe Rickshaw race and Take That at the end.

      Eric Idle was excellent but I couldn't work out why they were throwing saffron all over him. Could have done a bit better with the snippets of David Bowie and Freddie Mercury though.

      Delete
    2. MAy be they were trying to get him involved in their holy (or summat spelled differently but the festival of colours=)

      Delete
  98. I switched it off, mjk, I thought it was a bag o shite, hasbeen granddads singing silly POP songs and young POP stars doing bad impersonations of various old POP stars when they were young. Probably good if you were there.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Yeah, tend to agree. Seen many mixed reviews, It was a mis-mash that didn't flow and got boring. Eric Idle was pretty good though.

    ReplyDelete
  100. eg I like the Kinks but my boy said he was going to have nightmares about ray Davies' face. An interview with him and sue barker whose visage is similarly paralysed into a botox mask of self parody would be car crash tv. I watched the high lights of the charity shield ...two string teams but Chelsea are my predo for the title, they look young quick and relatively ego-lite. ManC still have too many talented loonies and professional malcontents. Torres looked like he might be back to his halcyon Liverpool form.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd be intrigued to see how Newcastle do, they haven't lost anyone major from their squad and were pretty nifty. Everyone writes off Arsenal but I think Podolski and Giroud and a maturing squad I think they might be better, RVP should stay he'll end up like Berba at OT.

      Delete
    2. I think he'll do well - Danny Welbeck is the one that will need to be worried as Hernandez will be back on form this season and Welbeck's return of 12 goals last season was not good enough

      Delete
  101. Spain, Argentina, Brazil. We envy their footie success, but my god how crap were they at the Olympics?

    Lest we forget.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Especially Argentina who stayed in Argentina...

      Delete
    2. Blogs is talking about the whole olympics mj, not just the football, (hence the silver medalists are mentioned as well)

      --BeeZee

      Delete
  102. Well they got 4 medals mj which is pitiful however you look at it

    ReplyDelete
  103. BBC BREAKING NEWS
    Brazil have announced an update for the "modern" Pentathlon, which is only modern if you're Napoleon.

    In Rio the new events will be

    Paintballing
    Xbox Call of Duty 4
    Topless Samba dancing
    Whelk throwing
    Pie eating

    And will only be open to large breasted spunkers

    ReplyDelete
  104. So that's the Olympics done with. Just got a couple of weeks to wait and then it's the Paralympics. i'm particulary looking forward to the 110m wheelchair hurdles (could be a lot of sore foreheads in that one) and the 10m wheelchair platform diving.

    ReplyDelete
  105. RIP Sid.

    Thoroughly enjoyed the closing ceremony and Adam must have been delighted that the Pet Shop Boys got a look in. On the other hand, I might just be homesick.

    In other news, I'm off to play Pine Valley, #1 golf course in the world, what a fuckin treat. Unless of course you don't like golf and have no appreciation for these things! Have a nice day.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Watched the closing ceremony until Muse had been on (pretty good). Why anyone would want the Pet Shop Boys is beyond me, as is why the Spice Girls bothered (money?). Sad thing is that the dead stars were generally a lot better than the live (or miming) ones. I'm sure George Michael has a great career ahead of him, as soon as he quits music.

    Still, looked like the athletes enjoyed it, and it's their party after all (and they deserve it).

    I'm jealous Trott, hope it hammers you!


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  107. I thought Pine Valley was a toilet cleaner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup. They play with the Pine Valley bottles tied to the end of each club, just in case the players are a bit shit.

      Delete
  108. Has anyone got tickets for the Paralympics? If you are going I'd advise travelling by public transport. With all those disabled parking bays around the stadium the closest an able bodied spectator will be able to park is Chelmsford.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Jedi

    Muse were dreadful as were Elbow and should have been nowhere near it.

    Pet Shop Boys were in because like Blur, George Michael, Queen, David Bowie etc they are Iconic British Acts who are globally renowned and recognisable. Also Pet Shop Boys are extremely popular in Brazil where the next Olympics and West End Girls was number 1 all over the world including the USA.

    So that's why really

    ReplyDelete
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