Monday, 17 September 2012

Give Peace a Chant


This week two issues have raised heads uglier than the crowning peak of the cyst on a hyena’s arse. I know you're all thinking of the Duchess of Cambridge's bazongas, you rapscallions you, but I was thinking of the following: firstly, the matter of shaking heads with someone you despise just because you’re about to play football against them; secondly fans thinking it’s okay to be plain vicious to grieving people.

I’ll take the second first as it’s the easiest. Stop it. Just stop it, you evil mindless troughs of foetid shite. I’ve never understood the delight some take in mentioning the Munich Air Crash so some United sickos might think that Hillsborough is a chance for terrace bores to get even. It isn’t.

The true events of Hillsborough are barely believable: the police tactics, the FA decision to allow the game in the first place, the subsequent alteration of stories and statements all beggar belief. A clutch of folk who some have tried to label as bleeding-heart Scouse families who all talk and act like some sentimental scallies from a Carla Lane ‘comedy’ have been proved to be patronising meatheads.

These people simply wanted to know why their loved ones were blamed for their own deaths. Now they are on the way to getting some truth and some retribution. It’s late, but it’s a good thing.

It’s almost less believable that some people – and it’s always a small minority, just as the Islamic nutjobs hollering at America because some bloke’s put a shit film on youtube are – think that it’s really okay to sing happily about tragedy.

At least people within the game are coming out to condemn it utterly now. To be fair most of us ignore it and hope that no one thinks it’s us. Singing a bit louder than them helps. The chief executive of the Manchester United Supporters’ Trust Duncan Drasdo has condemned it too, although in adding that ‘there was nothing that was specifically referencing Hillsborough’ in the chanting is disingenuous to say the least. I think the rest of us know what they were on about.

Now of course there is such a thing called freedom of speech in this country which allows people to speak their minds. For instance I can say that Geri Halliwell is a useless assembly of human cells that I wouldn’t be happy to find on the soul of my shoe and, well, you know, that’s just my opinion. (It’s true though, isn’t it?)

It probably also means that you are allowed to sing songs that express joy at the death of others no matter how repulsive you are. If your mind is a sewer you still have the right to open it up so we can all have a whiff.

But I’m not sure that football clubs have to let you back into their ground if they can prove that your mind is indeed no more pleasing on the senses than the hole beneath a Glastonbury plank. So that has to be the first thing: identify the malicious bastards, ban them and then preferably send them off to Egypt to make an anti-Islamic film on the streets of Cairo.

And maybe ManU and Liverpool could make a bit of an effort to get their heads together as institutions and present a united front – although obviously they won’t be able to call it that. They’re both saying the same thing. Say it together. In the same room…. I know – frightening concept isn’t it?

That might not be a bad idea for Anton Ferdinand and John Terry. Perhaps it could be a bare-knuckle contest with Ashley and Rio holding their coats.

‘Course all this hullabaloo raises the question of whether someone ought to be forced to shake hands with another person when he thinks that person has called him ‘a black cunt’. I dunno but, on balance, I’d say it’s fair enough (irony alert).

Whether this means that they should do away with this pre-match handshake is another matter. Of course this idea was brought in as part of the Respect campaign which, pointedly, people couldn't have less respect for if they had a long lens and a French passport.

It invites footballers to behave like gentlemen and you can tell how well it's worked. Footballers now speak in hushed and reverent terms to the match officials. The use of oaths and curses is almost never seen. Yes, sometimes footballers might fall over in the act of going past an opponent but this has more to do with the unreliable nature of the modern football boot than the fact that they are cheating diving bastards.
And best of all that awful shirt-tugging that used to go on – well now, if it happens at all, it is merely to get the attention of an opponent in order to have another hearty handshake.

Now I know this polite stuff was intended to set a good example to all those diving and cursing little wannabes that fill up football fields of a Saturday morning but to be honest they're more likely to be out there practising how to win a penalty kick like Danny Welbeck than paying any attention to some old-school decency at the top of the match.
And frankly do we need it? If it's just a bit of a faff that's exploited by footballers to make public their dislike of someone else then for Gawd's sake just send 'em down their relevant ends and leave it to the skippers to do the chivalry. Although of course in Chelsea's case that probably means John Terry. And JT's been refused more handshakes than a post-op James Herriot.
The FA might help the Respect agenda if they got on with the retrospective bans for simulation. Three game-ban and you have to play the first game back in Tom Daley's budgie-smugglers.
That should rebalance the Respect agenda nicely.
 
 

437 comments:

  1. In the smugglers we'd have loads of Beckham impersonators
    Del

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  2. Ever one shaking heads ,instead of bleeding hearts we'd have bleeding noses.
    good article though.
    Del

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  3. Geri Halliwell,would I kick her out? maybe not
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  4. Good stuff Robbo.

    They should shake hands with whoever they want, when it's a mutually agreeable choice, after the game, just like it was when the game was played by gentlemen and like still happens anyway, naturally and honestly with mutual respect.

    It gets more and more like a stage managed theatre production played out by the spoiled play-things of the rich and wrongly motivated team owners.

    Why should anybody accept an instruction (let alone a well mannered young player who conducts himself correctly) to shake the hands of any number of preceived or real degenerate, lying, cheating, racist cunts? They shouldn't.

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  5. The dead Liverpool fans should never have been blamed for their own deaths, the dead were at the front, the pushing came from the back. A very common misconception.

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  6. Wait... is that the cynic back out and about, or were you being serious? Hard to tell with that dry sense of humor.

    Shouldn't comment much on Hillsborough because I don't know enough about it, other than to say from what I do know a) obviously a tragedy and hopefully there will be justice, whatever that may entail, and b) hard to believe anyone chants about that, Munich, etc. And yet not THAT hard to believe, given what wonderful people wander this earth. Imagine that. Some humans are actually worse than John Terry. Marginally, at least.

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  7. Haha...Demba Ba obliges with 2 goals even though he was given just 45 mins to play. Good lad. Eat that jacks cheadle tractor boys.

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    Replies
    1. We wuz robbed, as they say. And we have considerably more points than thou. ;)

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    2. Brendan Rodgers caught speeding the other day... You know the rest.

      Philthetoffee

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  8. Good one Robbo.

    I agree Trott, shake hands at the end of the match as most players do now. This stage managed shaking of hands before the match is not needed, nor does it add anything to the game (except 5 minutes it takes to complete the bullshit.)

    The rivalry between Un**ed and Liverpool is no excuse for the type of shite that spewed out of the mouths of the Un**ed faithful on the weekend. As much as I despise Un**ed (including a number of their fans) I believe a majority of their supporters would condemn the chants and the sentiments associated with them, then again I could be wrong.

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    Replies
    1. I'm a United fan, and the 'people' that chant about things like Hillsborough and the Munich crash, just make me feel sick. They just don't seem to get the fact that people dying is not fucking funny. EVER!

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  9. At the time of Hillsborough I was in a pub in ireland watching as it went down ,people in panic, being held back by police at the small gaps in the fencing.
    The police were in the wrong for allowing the extra fans into the stadium but the fans creating the surges also had a role in it.
    The people who were killed were always the innocent party but the police are not solely to blame either.
    It was a tragedy waiting to happen and could have been prevented.
    On saying that the book should be thrown at the liers and senior officials who authorised a cover up
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  10. I don't know what people expect with the outcome of this Hillsborough report, I think it should be up to the families to decide rather than the public baying for blood as usual.

    It was a tragedy, but you have to look at the aftermath. Lessons have been learnt, Hillsborough brought the removal of terraces and fencing in of fans for a start. Would this have happened otherwise? I doubt it.

    I'm sure there are many other events that can be looked back on like Heysel (UEFA/Stadium at fault for using a dilapidated stadium) but in my opinion let it rest. What will a sacrificial head from a senior officer from the time do? It won't bring anyone back, it won't relieve the pain, it will just cause more pain. If they are guilty then they will have had to live with their mistakes for 20+ years already.

    No doubt people will barrack me for this but it's just my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Barrack, no. Reply, yes. The problem with saying "this cover up worked for 23 years so we won't prosecute" (which is effectively what you advocate) is that it encourages the Bill (and News of the World, politicians etc) to do it again. In terms of stadia, the FA now seems to have learned its lesson, but they knew from about 1981 that Hillsborough was unsafe (as were many others at that time). Unfortunately, neither Sheff Wed nor the FA gave a toss about fan safety at that time.

      Heysel is a different issue. The stadium may have been dilapidated, but the fact is that the Liverpool fans charged the Juve fans, which caused the collapse of the (badly built) wall. Footy fans in those days may have been treated like animals, but some of them behaved like animals too (I'm not specifically having a go at Liverpool fans: most big clubs had their share).

      Btw, I have it on good authority that it will not be all sweetness and light when Manyoo go to Liverpool. No surprise.


      Jedi

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  11. The thing with demanding a trial of those involved in the massive cover-up and the cock-ups that let it happen in the first place is that it sets an example for the future that it may take a long time but eventually, truth will prevail.

    Plus, fuck the public in this. The families of the dead want it, so let it happen.

    Yeah, the chanting: Most if not all big stadia have CCTV covering every inch of the grounds and if the clubs really wanted it, they could root it out in two weeks tops. Just go through the videos after the game and ban anyone and everyone thick enough for life. How difficult is it to do?

    Same could be done to the cheaters on the ground. Review the videos and if someone is found to be guilty of unsportsmanlike behaviour, ban them anywhere between 3 & 6 games for the first time, double it the next.

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  12. At least Evra has been dropped so there is unlikely to be a repeat of the Suarez-Evra handshake pantomime this weekend. Fuck the handshakes. If they want to do it, let them do it at the final whistle. Next thing the FA will make the players all wear Trilby's and doff hats at each other prior to kickoff. 'Have a smashing game Patrice', 'You too Luis, you little scamp' etc etc.

    Brilliantly snatched defeat from the jaws of victory in one of the H2H leagues yesterday. 21 points ahead going into the final match, my opposition had Ba and Baines and beat me by 6. So I'm still keeping Trotts company at the foot of the table with nil points.

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  13. The valley parade fire at bradford was ignored by owners and authorities alike. Tories did what Tories do, viewed it all from within the privet hedges and gated communities of their minds muttered something about plebs, washed their hands and let these people die. The Daily Torygraph had the Hillsborough disaster on page 6 the next day which tells you everything you needed to know about the class divide.

    For what its worth and inspite of goves education reforms (divisive all the way with zero gain in merit) I think things have moved on. Nick hornbys middle classes have invaded my sport (fuck off the lot of you its mine!) And fan culture has changed, probably for the better. But I want these bastards named and shamed. The press, the owner, the police chief, Leon britten, thatcher, consignment them to the appropriately deep circle of hell, please.

    Handshake thing is well intentioned. I don't feel strongly either way.

    As for kates tits...she should join Femen and perform a topless protest against democracy and free speech. That'll learn them.

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  14. Have you given a thought to playing your wildcard Noel ?

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    Replies
    1. more to the point AH - has Bo played his yet?

      Morning all - Champions League starts tonight and that can only mean one thing. Extra TV coverage and newspaper pics of Mourninho, (please take note Robbo)

      On an entirely unfootabll-related note, not that the above really has tooo much to do with it - tomorrow is International Talk Like A Pirate day

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    2. AH-A, eh? As long as you don't have anyone from your own side--especially the manager--in your team, it ought to be a good matchup.

      Delete
  15. Good Blog.

    Firstly, I´d do away with the handshakes, I know I wouldn´t want to shake the hand of someone who abused me or who I thought was a bit of a cunt, it´s not like it´s a longstanding tradition in the game, they only started doing it a few years ago and it´s more trouble then it´s worth. Sometimes there´s more attention in the media in the build up to a game about who will shake hands or not then the game itself, that can´t be right, can it?

    As for the mongs with those dispicable chants, as Spits has already pointed out, the technology, (ie cameras) in and around the ground will have no doubtedly picked up on the culprits. It's all well and good to condem this kind of behaviour, but maybe it's time to put their money where their fans mouthes are and name and shame these "people". It wouldn't exactly be a precadent, weren't there people charged for giving Sol Campbell grief using cctv evidence? I can't see how this is much different, in fact it's worse because they were asked not to do it beforehand by those high up in the club.

    It was a good move that that guy from the IOU supporters club came out to condem the chants, but to say that they weren't related to Hillsborough were aimed at Suarez, brought this to mind;

    http://i.qkme.me/35r21x.jpg

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  16. Would love to hear from a liverpool supporter who was there that day, trying to push their way in....the police were despicable in the way they covered up their part but they do not have blood on their hands.
    On my way to work this morning, pressed button for lift, doors opened, lift was full of eager workers, decided to wait for next lift.

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    1. lay off it, will ya. What are you trying to provoke here?

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    2. An unbiased, objective discussion without emotion clouding the issue

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    3. You're trying to provoke an unbiased, objective discussion on this blog? Let me know how that goes.

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  17. Forget Kate's tits (or the lack thereof). Where's Pippa's arse?

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    1. Between the top of her legs and below her back I would imagine.

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    2. I'm not convinced. Like Spits, I would like to see some proof.

      Delete
  18. Stephen, I almost traded in Bale and Ba for Sterling and Suarez couple days ago but decided against it. Just the threat seems to have got them to turn in matchwinning performances, so unfortunately no Liverpool players in the team so far.

    Are we doing battle in both the H2Hs? Pennsylvania Vs Utah it is then.

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    1. PA v UT. Odd to read that. Guess I'm truly a Jewtahn now, at least for a few more years.

      Easy for me to pick some Chelsea players, but my team is largely unchanged from week 1. Anyone else pick Michu from the top?

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  19. Regarding the handshakes, whether its a good thing or not aside, can't the referee book a player for "unsporting behaviour" for refusing the hand, or does he have to wait until the whistle sounds? Would he be unable to act if there was a full-on ruckus, or could he even get stuck in himself?

    Rastafairy

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  20. As a Miller(and a football fan!!)I often went to Hillsbro on alternate weekends,when the Owls were in the 1st Div, normally in the Lappings Lane End, it was always so packed, a tragedy waiting to happen, like all too many other grounds, so what happened on the day was a culmination of all what we know, the police, sheff wed, emergency services and fans fresh from the surrounding pubs, and obviously sad that so many died.

    But what followed from the police and other services in falsifying accounts of what happened is purely criminal and they should be held accountable

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  21. btw, BLOG, 2 big games coming for your lads

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  22. Tone - yer top of table test of strength v man c and man u sorry dreaming, gills and the mighty fleetwood with your ex striker now league 2 top scorer and an unchanged team in 7 and you know why - we've only got 11 players

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    Replies
    1. Our gobby manager signed 11 and he cant watch them for 5 more games, still no goals conceded at the New York

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  23. To commemorate the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton, Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collector's Edition of two small jugs

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    Replies
    1. How utterley tasteless, they should produce a Collector's edition of two small birds, a pair of tits er......

      Spider

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  24. No score in the big game at the Highbury stadium

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  25. Best game I've seen for a while - rm manc

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  26. And 5-2 to the penurious vale. I love football.

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  27. Replies
    1. Awesomely entertaining game though.

      Passed a glance at the Championship today and what the fuck is going on with Bolton Trotts??? They're doing a liverpool. Nothing good could come of taking Ngog and Spearing I guess.

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    2. Simple AH, they're shite, that's all and the manager is clueless, nice fellah though. We were in the bottom three when he arrived you know! We'll be in the bottom 3 again soon unless he changes the plan.

      Delete
    3. Wonder if Ronaldo feels less sad now. Poor guy.

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  28. Former Aston Villa forward Emile Heskey, 34, is set for a surprise move to Australian club Newcastle Jets.

    Oh no.

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    Replies
    1. Think he got the wrong Newcastle?

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    2. If he has, then lets hope he gets the wrong Newcastle again when he goes to the airport.

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    3. You reckon Heskey's gonna steal all the lime light away from Del Piero?

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    4. The local paper have announced this as a 'signing to rival Del Piero's'. I don't see how.

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  29. It gets worse.

    http://wwos.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=8535454

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    1. Class : "It'll be nice for Emile when he weds Chantelle Tagoe. It'll make a change to hear `Mrs Heskey' instead of `Heskey misses'," one newspaper reported.

      Delete
    2. Do you think he'll hold her up well? Maybe bring her down before passing her off to a teammate?

      Guess it depends on whether JT is interested.

      Delete
  30. Arsenal play meh the whole of second half and still win.

    The pundits got it right again this year when they wrote them completely off, didnt they?

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    1. The only pundit (is that a racist word? has some Indian religious connotation doesnt it) that matters is me, and I've already tipped the gooners to win the lot. Nothing to do with whom they've bought or sold, but just the fact that they've learnt to defend, which was always the missing link. And hell bells (not blue) even Gervinho has started scoring now. The Mayans were probably right.

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    2. Does that mean we are all going to die on 21st December AH? I would rather Mayans be a little bit wrong and we could have Christmas first.
      The rumours that Mr BHB unsportingly sniggered (a lot) when he saw Arsenal 1-0 down within ten minutes are entirely untrue.
      Well after at least ten stonewall penalties not being awarded to us on Saturday (is that OK Trotts) I hope the ref will be a little kinder to us tonight, what with Juventus not having lost for some time . I read somewhere that there coach has been banned for ten MONTHS is that true? And if so, I hope they search the laundry baskets well at The Bridge tonight?

      Here's hoping we win and Man U lose by a stupidly large margin.









      GO CHELSEA! (not been done for a while)

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  31. Indeed you did AH, I can't see it happening myself, but we will be there or there abouts at the end of the season.

    The new arrivals have gelled in well, Carzola looks the business and Poldi's scored in the last 3 games. Giroud seems to be unfairly targeted by the twats in the media because he hasn't scored yet, but anyone with even a basic knowledge of the game should be able to see that he makes a very reasonable contribution, his hold up play and lay offs are great and his movement off the ball is amazing.

    Steve Bould's contribution is plain for all to see and the teams defending has improved no end. It's not that our defenders have got better, it's just that the CB's sit deeper and we have two DM's that stick to their jobs and others drop back when the wing backs go forward, we're basically defending better as a unit.

    But last night, with AW serving a touchline ban because he was chewing gum in class, or something, Bould's inexperience shone through. We pretty much controlled the first half but were outplayed in the second with some players looking particulary jaded. Diaby, just back from injury and on a yellow card recieved in the 20th second, looked a bit of a liability and was lucky not to give away a second penalty and be sent off. He should of been subbed around the hour mark. Carzola and Gerv could of done with being hooked too. We rode our luck for far too long, but miraculously got away with it and Bouldy and the boys came home with three points and the seasons unbeaten record intact.

    Next two games against Citeh (a) and the Chavs (h) should be prettty easy though. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Thats what I thought too. Diaby should have been subbed after the hour mark. He was poor last night and was putting undue pressure on the others in the mid by continuously losing the ball.

      Bould is a good assistant I suppose but far from the replacement for AW.

      Hopefully, Ramsey/Ox will be raring to go vs. City.

      Those criticising Giroud know nowt about footy. He's an out and out 9 and does his job well. He assisted for the first goal and when you have finishers left and right, then it matters not.

      Suppose its the same bunch that were slating Gervinho the whole of last season and havent fully accepted that Ramsey is a class midfielder.

      Twats, as they are better known, they are.

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    2. Twat I may be Spit but Ramsey is not a class midfielder, well not since he broke his leg anyway. It would bother me not if we got shot of him along with Walcott and Gervinho as soon as possible. I would not expect great things from Wiltshire after he returns to full fitness either.

      H2, Giroud may move well off the ball, hold it up and lay the ball off well... all admirable qualities for a midfielder but he is, after all, a striker and is paid to score goals. I am not slating him... yet... he needs time to adjust to the pace of the pl. He won the golden boot (ok, so it was in France) last season so he obviously knows where the goal is but when all is said and done if he doesn't score goals for us then he just becomes a liability (like the other big thing from France that ended up keeping the Emirates bench warm.)

      Delete
    3. Bo,

      you may not like a player but for those who go to the stadium only to get on the backs of their own players, I can just tell them to fuck right off.

      Delete
    4. I am completely with you in being a twat Bo, there is no way you can call Ramsey a class midfielder, he is average on a good day, and yes through the whole of his career he will have some good moments that might provide Spit with an I-told-you-so moment but he is no where near consistent enough, and here is the shocker: he is no way near brilliant enough, he has not outstanding in any area be it pace, tackling, passing, vision, discipline, aerial abilities... he is a poor man's scholes and no where good enough for Arsenal, the other players make him look much better than he is and that still does not end up doing much :D,
      Gervinho has no idea what he is doing with the ball most of the time, the plus side is that he can surprise defenders by this, but most of the times he ends up surprising himself and his teammates. It scares me that he is now a starter for our great club, he makes me miss Eboue ffs,
      Walcott is similar but he his pace is still an asset (if mostly in the minds of the opposition) and he can finish from time to time, so I would take him over Gervinho anyday, but not on a 100k a week, hell no,
      Giroud is a tough one, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt as these are early days, but to me he looks slow, and his touch is not good, he just might improve and prove me wrong and i hope more than anything that he does, as I do about the other three, but I fear I have seen enough of the other 3 to just about lose hope that they would do any better than a few good days between many terrible days, for Giroud the jury is still out.

      just my two (and a bit) cents,

      --BeeZee

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    5. Ladies,

      you can be fan of a player or not but once you are at the game, then you shouldnt be booing/slating putting underpressure your very own players. Specially when they are low on confidence.

      Hence the twat adjective.

      Delete
  32. This espn3.com shit isn't half bad. They're actually showing the cricket t20 world cup live and free.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not bad, but not as good as it was. t20 cricket in exchange for Serie A, Bundesliga, La Liga, and the ability to watch replays of Premier League matches? Not quite a fair deal.

      Delete
  33. "a post-op James Herriot"
    --------------------------------------

    All this time and I never guessed that James Herriot was a tranny.

    Colch

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  34. The Beeb were on the ball again last night;

    https://skitch.com/drostan/ewe3i/www.bbc.co.uk

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  35. Southampton are ready to replace Nigel Adkins with former Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez.

    Full story: Daily Star

    Saint Rafa?

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    Replies
    1. Just when the Saints fans didn't think their season could get any worse ...

      Nice win on Sunday for you H2 (I would like to point out I didn't laugh last night)

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    2. It would be great, games against the mercs are always pretty close, they always play very negativly against us. Arsenal seem to be the one team that Mamcini is scared of, probably because most of their players came from us. ;p

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  36. yeah Bells, at least 10, could have been 15 and Frank never misses, in fact, he sometimes scores two goals with each kick.

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  37. robbed Bells, should have been 7-2. You had 14 perefectly legitimate penalty appeals denied and 96.5 percent possession, unbelievable. The ref is surely on the take.

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    Replies
    1. Totally outrageous how biased ref was Trotts. Should of sent off half Juventus players for wearing stripey tops. As for Franks pens, it us a fault with the ball on rare occasion he does score hat-trick with one kick and finally as for Mikel, he taught Messi all he knows and personally I think we ought to pay Man u a bit more compo

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  38. I was listening online and could clearly see how badly the ref missed several penalty calls. Very disappointing. Forget 7-2. Should have been 192-0 and every Juventus player should have been sent off at least twice. Refs these days...

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    3. third time lucky ! - Excellent and objective view there Stephen . I think a LOT of supporters from other clubs could learn a thing or two from us Chelsea fans

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  39. Replies
    1. But that was some goal from the Academy Award geezer.

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    2. I think your guffaws were only drowned out by abuse Mr BHB shouting abuse at the telly

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  40. is Jack Palance still playin' then?

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  41. Arsene Wengers 10 commandments

    1. Thou shalt flatter to deceive

    2. Thou shalt cost 2p

    3. Thou shalt lose thy best players at end of season

    3. Thou shalt qualify for Europe by the skin of thy teeth

    4. Thou shalt whinge in defeat

    5. Thou shalt exhibit gallic style- over-substance in all things

    6. Thou shalt see no evil in thy own team

    7. Thou shalt have no pay rise

    8. Thou shalt not change anything ever as like a stopped clock eventually thou shalt be right

    9. Thou shalt not fall into either debt or self doubt

    But above all else....

    10. Thou shalt win fuck all

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    Replies
    1. Second most deorated manager in the history of the PL.............

      Damn it, runner up again.

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    2. youve got a better memory than me, H

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    3. 11. Thou shalt dwell on past glories and hope against hope and all the evidence that they shall return

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    4. Memories are all I got, Blog, fuzzy as they are.

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  42. 11. Thou shalt dwell on past glories and hope against hope and all the evidence that they shall return

    Not unlike all the clubs in the Whatever It's Called This Year League, then.

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    Replies
    1. touche. actually weve got no past glories to dwell on and we dont care! but arsenal are always good for a laugh. obviously if there were more man u fans about on here id rather have a childish pop at them instead

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    2. The mancs have got no sense of humour, you'd probably get a thirty three page essays back explaining why it was better to finish second last year and that Giggsy really isn't a bit of a cunt.

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    3. 34 pages actually but no it wassn't better to finish 2nd. It's alwasys better to win

      Delete
  43. Captain Sensible once said;

    "I'm sick and tired of this Johnny Moped band, I'm off to join the damned."

    But that's hardly relevant, so let me point you in the direction of one of his solo efforts.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=291ET6Py6H8

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. first gig i ever saw, the damned at the victoria hall hanley just before sensible went off to make this novelty record. i couldnt believe it when i saw it on totp. it ruined my provincial adolescent fantasies about joining in on the fag end of punk

      Delete
    2. I know what you mean, I remember the episode of the Young Ones, when they were the guest band. I watched that episode to death and I couldn't/wouldn't believe that it was the same guy spitting out that Rodgers and Hammerstein South Pacific tosh.

      But Rik Mayall did Jackanory, so what you gonna do?

      Delete
    3. I never liked Captain Sensible - Happy Talk was awful - preferred the Jam, Madness, Ultravox and Electro/ early hip-hop music about that time

      Delete
    4. also the beret was rubbish - that muppet out of Curiousity Killed the Cat had one and he looked like a pleb too

      Delete
  44. Young Boys Bern Vs Even Younger Boys Liverpool today. Should be fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems like Rodgers took the name as a challenge. Wonder who he would play against Joe Public (Trinidad & Tobago), Deportivo Wanka (Peru), Insurance Management Bears (Bahamas), Club Deportivo Moron (Argentina), FL Fart (Norway), or Semen Padang (Indonesia)...

      Delete
    2. Deportivo Wanka (Peru), Club Deportivo Moron (Argentina),

      Expect emergency loan signings for John Terry, Ashley Cole, Samir Nasri and Carlos Tevez

      Delete
  45. And a big woohoo to Laura Robson for contunuing her good form.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hold up, the footy seasons began again......

      I though we stopped giving a toss about other sports. ;p

      Delete
  46. Hey, hold up indeed, Rogers & Hammerstein wrote You'll Never Walk Alone. Along with other Scouse classics like "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Suarez" a flibberty gibbert, a will o' the wisp, a girl. My money's on Hammerstein to be the next assistant manager at Anfield.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I know how rat scabies got his name - a rat walked past as he was explaining that he had scabies, but I never understood why Dave vanian dressed like a vampire. Not unless he IS a vampire.

    ReplyDelete
  48. 5-3 to Liverpool. Which fucking game ends 5-3 anymore? 4 of the 8 goals were good comic value. The first own goal by the swiss was probably the funniest goal I've ever seen.

    If we play like this against United we'll probably lose 8-2.

    The kids Suso and Wisdom looked ready for Primetime. Little bit more work needed on the rest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ready for Primetime? How does a Europa League match with four apparently hilarious goals prove that any of the players are ready for Neon Deion Sanders?

      Delete
  49. The kids Suso and Wisdom looked ready for Primetime

    Only if its Prime Time recruitment as a temp

    ReplyDelete
  50. Made the rookie mistake of making my FFL transfer before the midweek games. Now stuck with 3 players injured and Ba not on talking terms with his manager.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Worlds Greatest Sell-Outs, Vol 3: The Damned play Rodgers and Hammerstein

    ReplyDelete
  52. Talking of other sports
    just switched on my Gerry TV, ESPN2 T20 cricket with Deutshce commentary, wierd

    ReplyDelete
  53. Great Sell Outs vol 4. Jedward cover 'I just can't be happy today'

    ReplyDelete
  54. Leserkommentarspaltenhöllenlärm!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Crap... I agree with McNutter.

    Correct of @friedel_b to swipe away Barthez comments - has he seen Friedel play recently? Deserves to stay as No.1. Not Barthez's business.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (Crack reporting on my part, eh? Take a tweet about a tweet and set it on a blog. Where's my paycheck?)

      Delete
  56. Just for once, I'd love to go on the BBC Sport website and not see a story or comment about how someone on twitter has caused some agro.

    Going to be a low scoring week in the FFL with all the top teams playing each other. Although to be fair, every week is a low scoring week for me.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Played my wild card. There seemed to be littl eelse left to do for me.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I'm beginning to think i might be related to Claudio "The Tinkerman" Ranieri. I'm top of two leagues, 2nd in another and 4th in the other and yet I want to play my wildcard. Have resisted so far but not too sure how much longer I can hold out.

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
  59. WTF - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19684708 ??

    Is it that easy to cause a riot in NL ?

    ReplyDelete
  60. Great..Swansea starting with dyer on the bench. My FFL team playing with 10 men today. Fuckin managers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Comedy gold. Dyer brought on for the second half and gets a red card.

      Delete
    2. And yet you still come out relatively ahead thanks to Fellaini.

      Delete
  61. Here we go vale vs gills. If we win this one well go top and maybe just maybe the meeja will take notice of the best pound-fer-pound team in the country.

    If we lose...as you were

    ReplyDelete
  62. Short of a Cazorla hat trick, looks like I'm headed to a second straight defeat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would've been worse if Chelsea and Wigan hadn't scored in the dying minutes robbing me of a further 8 points. Hopefully City will keep Cazorla from getting a hat-trick and Bale and/or Ba will contribute something just to make sure I see this through.

      Delete
  63. Hillarious statement by Tony Pubis over Luiz tackle. What a massive cunt that man is.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Speaking of hilarious have you seen lawro's predo league which show how his judgments as a professional pundit stacks up against other famous football experts such as mo Farrah. No surprise that their predictions are proving more accurate than his. Think you might be blowing the gaff, lawro.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Yes AH as we were. Although I suppose "as we were" must now seem like a distant and receding day dream at Anfield? ;p

    ReplyDelete
  66. After the performance of Mark Halsey this afternoon, Liverpool fans have taken to Twitter to vent their fury and are threatening to throw bricks through his car windows as he leaves the ground. That's ridiculous, just how stupid are these people.
    Everyone knows that along with all other Premier League referees, Mark Halsey will be getting a lift home with the rest of his team mates on the Man United team bus.

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YAWN.... Halsey was spot on today.

      Delete
  67. Joey Barton has endeared himself to the French as a genuine pseudo-intellectual by starting to translate Camus' L'Etranger into Klingon on Twitter, one tweet a week for the next 28years

    ReplyDelete
  68. Good comeback bloggy.

    Despite the loss to ManU a terrific performance from Liverpool. A penalty not given, a 50-50 red card given and penalty given against us, yet we managed to keep it interesting till the end (whilst playing the likes of Suso, Sterling and Shelvey). Now that our dreaded opening 5 games are through, lets see how good we are against the teams outside the top 6.

    And how awesome is my FFL team, despite playing with only 9 players getting through with 60 mins or more and 1 red card, I beat the number one (eat that Utah) team by 18 points with possible bonuses for Ba and Bale to come.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure it is legal to eat that here in Utah. I'll have to ask our Mormon overlords. (They're just now allowed caffeine on a technicality and they haven't taken to that too well.) After our great opening we have slumped down to earth as we are no longer pleased to Michu, dukes of Hazard. Or something like that. Even my puns are as off-target as a Suarez shot. Next week doesn't look much better, either.

      Of course, I'll always have a soft spot for Liverpool because a few years back I made a bet with a friend who supports Liverpool. Whichever of our teams finished lower in the table, that person bought a bottle of wine for each place between them. Chelsea won the league; Liverpool finished seventh. As we were both teachers at the time, I didn't want to bankrupt her, so I got one rather nice bottle instead and entire year to remind her how far apart we were.

      Delete
  69. Terry quits international football.


    Good for him. Good for us.


    Hes blaming the FA though. He should take a long hard look in the mirror. Having said that the following news report is unlikely..

    John Terry today was said to be wearing a white john lennon trouser suit and a serene expression after reportedly having experienced a moment of self recognition. His agent told the BBC

    'Today John took the advice of a post on an obscure blog and took a long hard look in the mirror. He told me this morning "i finally realised what a complete twat ive been all these years" '

    ReplyDelete
  70. Jonjo Shelvey: 'I have also apologised to Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson, just where I come from people don't grass people up to get someone sent off'

    I haven't heard the term 'grass people up' since I was about 14 at school. I'm going to have to reintegrate it into my adult life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Had to look up that one. Couldn't quite figure it out based on context. I'd heard of mowing someone down, but this was a new one.

      Delete
  71. Robbo might not want to find Geri Halliwell on the "soul" of his shoe. But i'd love to find her on the end of something else...

    ReplyDelete
  72. Rather stunned to discover the rumour mill has Paul Jewell being given the Spanish Archer,and to be replaced by.....

    'arry Redknapp.

    I do hope the team are prepared to be coached by a bloke leaning out the window of a Range Rover.

    The previous 2 seasons in The Championship have seen the team that has been in the division the longest relegated.Well,it's us this season and it seems we're determined to continue the trend.

    If Port Vale get promoted we'll be playing them next season.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Bit of a commute from Bournemouth to Ipswich for old 'Arry. Especially if he does it on a tractor.

    ReplyDelete
  74. See you before the game jacks for a pint in the Vine, Roebuck, pie in the Leopard, then on to the Duke William

    ReplyDelete
  75. although its more likely we'll be playing colch's boys in league2. col u's worst start in 75 years and unsustainably low home crowds. fantastic new training facility at florence park tho.

    ReplyDelete
  76. There's a good chance most of us will end up there.ITFC,Colch's Colch joining you and Tone Blogidy.

    ReplyDelete
  77. eh up, we might meet you in div 1 and all, save me a seat!

    ReplyDelete
  78. 3 seasons you could all be in the premiership
    Del

    ReplyDelete
  79. No glory hunting Premier League fans allowed.

    So it's Trotts,Me,Colch,Blogs and Tone.

    Burslem night out!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I was there Jack, I would surely have to be included. Neither the O's nor the Gunner's could be considered glory hunters.

      Delete
  80. John Ward sacked at Col U. Not surprisingly.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Your round, jacks (thats not a description of your physical shape.)

    ReplyDelete
  82. Replies
    1. An apostrophe and an e missing if that were the case.

      Delete
  83. Broke my finger smashing someone's windscreen.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Terry laughably playing the burning martyr just reminds me of how sick to the back teeth I am of this pathetic amoral posturing twat and how glad I am that he will never again play for a team I support.

    ReplyDelete
  85. So when I retire next April, its a celebratory promotion/relegation Burslem night out

    ReplyDelete
  86. blogdignag24 September 2012 16:33
    John Ward sacked at Col U. Not surprisingly.
    -----------------------------------------

    That's not gale force winds across the south of england. It's 5000 Colchester fans all breathing a massive fucking sigh of relief at the same time.

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
  87. blogdignag24 September 2012 13:32
    although its more likely we'll be playing colch's boys in league2. col u's worst start in 75 years and unsustainably low home crowds.
    ------------------------------
    Our home crowds so far this season......
    Portsmouth 4,335
    Sheffield United 4,017
    Doncaster Rovers 3,262
    Crawley Town 2,484

    I'm seeing a downward trend there, although I'm going down with my boy on Saturday for the Hartlepool game so that'll boost the crowd by 2.

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
  88. I recommend umlaut and chips Jacks

    ReplyDelete
  89. Angus the Monkey vs Eddie the Eagle. To the Death.

    ReplyDelete
  90. My mate's best friend's aunt's cousin works with someones brother's girlfriend who knows a guy who's sister works at Earls Colne airfield and she says that Pep Guardiola has just been spotted flying in on a private plane. Must be on his way to the WHCS to discuss terms with Robbie Cowling. Pep always said he was looking for a new challenge and it looks like the Col U managers job is the one he's after.

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
  91. Well, today after years of underachievement I say Fuck You, to everyone who ever told me I'd never amount to much. No.1 in the Robbo H2H FFL. Shows how much they know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope that goes better for you than my stay there did.

      Delete
    2. Now comes the hard part, AH. I too was sitting pretty in first place across multiple leagues at some point last season. But then came the award ceremonies, and with them the free booze, the loose women, the attention. How great it all was. Then it all spiralled out of control. I was touring pubs and clubs drinking the dregs out of pints of mild, doing anything to avoid paying for my booze, mixing with ladies who only had three teeth, just craving the attention, trying to recreate the buzz of my glory days. I forgot to make a transfer one week as I was binging on babycham with a 73-year old called Gladys, and lost by a point. I fell down the leagues, and then no-one wanted to be seen with me. I fell into a deep depression that could only be soothed with late night trips to K-Mart where I'd try to fit 15 items into my basket within a $10 budget, mumbling to myself about goal-scoring defenders. But as the late-night shopping got out of control, I missed more and more transfers and down the leagues I tumbled, to where I still find myself today, languishing in the relegation places. Oh, the horror.

      But that probably won't happen to you.

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    4. AH, If you think that beating me in both leagues to assist your ascent to such lofty heights counts for shit, it's a gross error and will only lead to you not amounting to much. If you beat Spits, Jacks and H2H (when he's at least 3 weeks home from a global bender) in back to back weeks, then my son, you'll be a fantasy man!

      Delete
  92. I hope you'll still give us your blessed opinions now your above us all
    Del

    ReplyDelete
  93. http://www.offthepost.info/blog/2012/09/should-manchester-uniteds-jonny-evans-have-been-sent-off-for-two-footed-lunge-on-liverpools-jonjo-shelvey/

    No comment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whenever Halsey referee's a Un**ed match there is usually at least one controversial incident in favour of the mancs, so nothing new here.

      Delete
  94. I'm chasing H2 in Jack's H2H being pressed hard by There's only 1 UTD, who I assume is Colch.

    Noel, you are obviously spending too much time on your squad if you only missed one transfer week.

    ReplyDelete
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