Monday, 12 November 2012

Paying Your Subs


An interesting aspect to Match of the Day 2 last night was the appearance of the now-permanent sub Michael Owen on the panel. (I can only guess he was a last minute replacement for someone else.) Owen has spent the last six years bathing in the afterglow of a career that burnt out yonks back.

Younger viewers might have watched with confusion at this nervy, wooden little chump with the ridiculous facial hair on the end of the sofa, and mistook him for some sort of club mascot. But no, that was England’s most lethal striker of the last fifteen years, boys and girls. You know that Rahim Sterling. Well Michaelowen (all one word, officially) made that lad look like your run-of-the-mill entrant in a Little Richard looky-likey competition. (What that’s sonny…? Who’s Little Richard…? Oh piss off.)

As for the facial hair, we’ll put that down to the marvellous Movember charity. What’s brilliant about Movember is that it allows the average man to access his inner pillock. There’s not a male in this country who doesn’t toy with notions of beardiness, but only Zen-Buddhist-Peruvian-knitwear-crusties seem to actually go for it. But now, for one month, there’s barely a chin that doesn’t betray a quite laughable arrangement of fuzz (and there’s not a wearer amongst them who doesn’t secretly crave approval, not for his charitable works, but for the ‘tache itself).

Only yesterday I guffawed as some bloke strode proudly up to the bar of the Blue Bell and ordered himself some ‘Cabsav’. “Ha! Good for you mate!” I said, pointing at the frayed brown bootlace on his top lip.  “Still it’s all for charity, eh?”

Turns out he’s never heard of Movember. He’s just a regular tosser. (And a Man City fan to boot.)

Which brings us back to Michael Owen and his analysis of one Edin Dzeko. Now Dzeko’s very keen to let everyone know that he’s not a kind of comfort blanket for a creaking frontline. I swear I’ve seen him start his touchline warm-up on the back of a white charger. But I do wonder what your modern footballer expects.

Citeh are playing twice a week most of the time, if you include their European games, though one could argue that they haven’t really been involved in one of them yet. Realistically Dzeko has three rivals for a starting berth: the Good, the Mad, and the Ugly. I could only ever envisage picking Balotelli if he was in an identity parade, so it really is a toss-up for the other three and they each bring something different, which is after all, what you want from a squad.

In other words, there’s no choice for Mancini but to swap players about. It’s ludicrous to think otherwise. So while, unlike Owen’s apparent contentment as a footballer-shaped scatter cushion, it’s good that Dzeko’s hacked off about it, if the lad keeps jumping out of the dug-out and saving the day you can hardly blame Roberto for keeping him there.

Indeed, the main thing that separates the better clubs from everyone else is the fact that they can rest players and bring in others without massively affecting the standard of the team they put out on the park. Unlike, say, Liverpool. If they dropped Luis Suarez (and if it were up to me I’d do it from a very great height) they’d never create a chance. He is to Liverpool what Van Persie was to Arsenal last year: the only hope.

A Scouse mate told me, in frustration, that he was thinking of writing a TV series called Fuck Rodgers In The 21st Century. I keep hearing him quoting figures about the number of chances they create. Yesterday at Stamford Bridge, it was one. Frankly I’m getting fed up of praise getting heaped on all this Barcelona Lite stuff. Little lads with neat feet and no end-product.

Celtic disposed of the real thing the other day (typically St. Johnstone proved a much tougher nut), so why this tippy-tappy tedium has to be lauded to the skies is beyond me. I know there’s a happy medium – we will after all be watching England’s latest attempt to familiarise themselves with a football and getting caught in possession would be a start for Woy’s men.

But there’s no point in keeping hold of the ball for these teams, really. Particularly as not one of them can defend a set-piece at the moment.

Of course there’s a lot of us who put this frailty down to zonal marking. Me, I’ve never felt comfortable ‘marking a zone’. That’s what cats do when they have a shit on the neighbour’s herbaceous border. (Never mind badgers let’s have a fecking kitty cull before the lawns of England become bird-free litter-trays.) No, I tend to think that people, and not ‘good areas’ score goals. So my theory is – and here feel free to shoot me down – that if you stay tight to someone when a cross comes in you might be able to stop him from getting a shot in.

Now I’ve said that, it seems so ludicrous and simplistic doesn’t it? Like when Andy Townsend says ‘The next goal is going to be very important’. Or when Garth Crooks says, erm, anything.

One thing I’m sure of is that standing still and watching the ball go over your head is never going to work on a football field unless you’re a midfielder in a Sam Allardyce first team. And that’s what most defenders do at the moment.

I can see a time in the not too distant future when Tony Pulis does a workshop on it.

“It’s not fucking brain surgery” Tony’ll say “get some right big lanky bastards in there and tell ‘em to get their fucking heads on it.” And then, to himself, “and you can shove your ball-playing centre-halves up your khybers.”

154 comments:

  1. I'm intrigued by the idea of good areas scoring goals.

    Would that mean that football would be overrun by Etonians as well?

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  2. What's the point in keeping possession of the ball for most of the game, if when you do loose it the other team scores on you, eh Arsene?

    ReplyDelete
  3. good stuff Robbo.

    I always appreciated zonal marking. Tommy Smith, Ron Harris, Norman Hunter and Terry Cooper were the masters. Anyone who ventured into their zone got the shit kicked out of 'em and were often marked for life.

    When your midfielders have their best years behind 'em it's often better to whack it over their heads and basically halve their workload. Unless of course you come in to money and can buy a new spritely bunch of young nippers from all corners of the globe. Has to make the best of what he's got does Sam. I'm forever blowin' bubbles (no, not the fuckin' chimp).

    There's only one Isaac Rosenberg.

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  4. Top blog as always Robbo.

    Trotts, Don't forget Gentile, the most inappropriately named footballer in the history of the game (unless Mario Balotelli changes his name to Einstein) O.K., so he's Italian but he could have given all of the above lessons!

    Spider

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  5. I might have.imagined this but didn't they show a stat on motd that the average Liverpool height is 5'11" so the little tippy tappy scousrrs aren't even good at being little

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's only because little-used backup 'keeper Gheorghe Muresan is 7'7".

      Met him briefly once. The long and short of it is that he's a bit taller than I am.

      Delete
  6. Well done as usual, Robbo.

    As for Pulis' comments, I don't think he's in any position to tell anyone how to score goals. How to defend, perhaps, but they'd have to double their current tally to make a dent in the top 10. Maybe michaelowen is the answer. They can lob him long and Crouch can head him home.

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  7. 'The Good, the Mad and the Ugly'. Brilliant. Good blog Robbo.

    No pics though.

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  8. Robbo this blog would make a good book-end with the blog you did a while back complaining about the lump it up to the big lad culture in English football (cough cough STOKE cough cough...pity crouch cant head it)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I tried to access my inner pillock, but he threatened to report me to Newsnight...

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  10. I have no problem with Route 1 - it's a powerful weapon, if used appropriately. I remember a ManU game in Iceland, or Norway, in freezing, blizzard conditions: first half was a struggle to see, let alone control the orange ball so what happened after half time? Every ball from the Reds defence was launched forward and Mark Hughes won most of them - ManU scored three away goals. Result!
    It gets on my goat when the supposingly ‘big’ teams complain that they were the ‘only team that came out to play football’, or something on those lines (Messi vs Celtic, most recently). Not all clubs have super play-maker No 10s in their side and anyhow, football is a game for the masses so anyone is allowed to compete with anyone (FA Cup giant-killing springs to mind). If you want to put 11 players behind the ball, you are free to do it; probably won’t win many games but if you are a small team why let yourself be slaughtered by some slinky passing midfield?
    Talking of Pulis; his game is based on the calibre of players that he has under his disposal – I absolutely love seeing Delap in action, oh, the fear on defenders’ faces when those long throws come in. It’s practically like having a corner kick from almost anywhere in the opponent’s half. And what’s wrong with that? It does not involve cheating/diving to get a free kick…
    SashPie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree to a large extent. The point of the game is to win (even if just a Carling Cup), and to do so you have to plan to counter the strengths of your opponent and play to your own strength. Attempting to play the beautiful game irrespective of how you play it and who you are playing against will leave you with 13 points from the first 11 games.

      Delete
    2. Agreed that you have to play to your strengths. Not sure Pulis would excel if given Barca-style players. Though if given the actual Barca lineup, and of us could probably coach and play keeper and we'd still win the lions share of matches.

      The very fact there are so many different styles (okay, two with mixes thereof) is why tactics are nearly as important as talent. Sure, if you had 11 players the calibre of Messi, you couldn't lose by letting them play as they pleased. But short of that, if they don't know what they're doing they'll get beaten by a moderately talented side with excellent tactics. At least on occasion, anyway.

      Though Route 1 does not really mean no diving. It often means "big man is harder to bring down". (Unless "big man" is Drogba.) The little ones fly about at pace and will go airborne if nipped. That said, they all ought to try to stay on their feet if possible and should at least get up promptly if they do go down. Let the refs sort it out.

      Delete
  11. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20319926

    No more police inquiry into Clattenburg. Of course, the FA has already shown it doesn't care what the police think of racism, so who knows how their investigation will turn out.

    I hope this ends quickly. If Chelsea were wrong, they should publicly apologize to (and back) Clattenburg. If they were right, he still shouldn't be rounded out of the game. Terry wasn't, and even though his job has no requirements for a lack of bias, a second chance should be extended here, too.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dettori faces inquiry after 'positive test'

    But what about the horse?

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  13. this is genius even funnier than the dust up at the Klan gathering that resulted in Terry getting injured by Suarez.

    You are right the Premiership has become the best pantomime in town. Fergy could be Mr Punch and QPR could be the back end of the horse

    ReplyDelete
  14. Completely off topic, but just curious... does anyone else listen to Naked Scientists radio show or podcast? (No, not a program about Lance's supporting cast.) If so, or if you are knowledgeable about the BBC regional stations, could you please explain why they want to cut the program? And if you disagree with the decision, please send in your feedback, as the program is on its last legs.

    I know we're only supposed to discuss important things on this board, but sometimes I feel the need to wander off a bit.

    While we're trying to save the world, has anyone considered investing in Real Ovideo? And why hasn't Hearts tried the same idea?

    ReplyDelete
  15. BBC is fucked Stephen ...it lives I'm fear of the daily mail calling it communist, so will play safe cut the good stuff and replace it with their best mates son recently up from Oxbridge explaining to ladies from tonbridge what a pub is then stand back while a 12 year old cub reporter calls the queen a closet lesbian in a big expose.fucked.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks Blog. Ever considered a career journalism?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No mate I can't think in a straight line, I'm incapable of linear rational thought, prone to non sequitur and my wife isn't speaking to me since I drank our water bed. How many dwarf actors are there in CaLifornia?

      Delete
    2. Actually, you're overqualified for McNumpty's spot.

      39.4.

      Delete
  17. Apropos of nowt at all, but...

    Is it just me, or does the mention of the name "Peter Herbert" in any football-related article produce an inner groan? Who does this interfering goody-two-shoes think he is? I never in a million years thought I would ever defend anything that Chelsea FC get up to, but that's what I feel like doing after Herbert's latest bleatings.
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20321225

    When you add in the noob's daft comments about Spurs' fans and their use of the word "Yid", comments that were so far wide of the mark that they were comical, it's fairly obvious that Herbert and his so-called Society of Black Lawyers, whose membership I strongly suspect numbers just the one, know nada about football and should stop sticking his/their self-righteous oar in where it's not wanted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, it's not just you. I'm sick of hearing about this bloody idiot.

      Delete
    2. Peter Herbert is mixed-race (White mother African father):

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20315169

      Peter Herbert grew up in Ashington, Northumberland, also home to the likes of Jackie Milburn, Bobby and Jack Charlton, Jimmy Adamson, Steve & Ben Harmison, Kenneth Ferrie, Sir John Hall and Colin Ayre.

      http://www.peterherbert.net

      According to

      http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/peterherbert

      he is also an independent member of the Metropolitan Police Authority. He is a barrister and chair of the Society of Black Lawyers.

      People who dedicate their lives to any cause (in this case the race industry, particular emphasis on institutional racism) tend to vocalise passionately and often tend to overlook other factors involved. They also rub people up the wrong way and come across as overbearing and arrogant.

      As a non-White person myself, the question I want him to answer is where the fuck he's been all these years: I couldn't find any comment from him regarding racism in sport or about Suarez & Terry prior to the Clattenburg allegations. In fairness to him, he wrote to the police asking them to investigate whether an offence took place under race laws, he didn't assume that Clattenburg was guilty. Under race relations legislation, anyone can report a race-hate crime against a third-party to police, even if they themselves have not experienced it but simply perceived it as being of a racist nature.

      Under English law, Jews & Sikhs are classified as distinct races, so enjoy far greater support from legislation than do Arabs & Indians. Jews & Arabs are both semitic and share the same genes. Indians & Sikhs share the same ancestry, but one is classified as a separate & distinct race whilst the other is not. The law is indeed as ass. In my view, all this legislation is knee-jerk (or fucked-up) government, but what causes me greater offence is all the do-gooders (generally speaking mostly White) who decide to re-name Christmas to something else, and then non-Whites get the finger pointed at them for demanding that Christmas be cancelled.

      Funny thing is, the local infants & junior schools are 95% Indian Muslim, and our kids get to do the Nativity play every year -- I have not heard about even one parent who became upset or complain about this. In fact, parents turn-up to watch their kids in the hope that one of them ends up in Hollywood/Bollywood.

      The greater worry for me is that even though our city celebrates diversity and is supposedly in the lead in community relations, there is still a heavy undertone of racism, and if things ever come to the surface, God help us all because we may see the mother of all race-riots.

      Apologies for the long post.

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    4. I forgot to add that apparently, some leading members of the Jewish community are far from happy with the Y-word chant at WHL...

      Delete
    5. ^ Yes, but I'll bet they're not football fans, and therein lies my point. Spurs fans (quite a few of them Jewish) who chant "Yiddo" or whatever are no different from black rappers using the word "nigger", and in both cases have every right to use those words. Herbert is in this case guilty of the "knee-jerking" that usually, as you rightly point out, comes from white middle-class liberals in their ivory towers.
      Herbert does his cause no good at all by firing off letters to the Met or spouting nonsense to the media every chance he gets.

      Delete
  18. Good stuff RR.

    Michael Owen is con man and a bloody good one.

    He's made a ruddy fortune since returning to Blighty and although history tells us that he won't play more then approx 20 minutes a season he still manages to wrangle himself lucrative contracts at PL clubs.

    He must have a briliant agent or be in pocession of an uncanny gift of the gab. How the hell did he worm his way into a Stoke squad consisting of ogres and giants, even if he did make the first XI would any of his team mates be able to find him way down there in the land of the minute (small, not 60seconds).

    I can see a time in the not too distant future when Tony Pulis does a workshop on it.

    “It’s not fucking brain surgery” Tony’ll say “get some right big lanky bastards in there and tell ‘em to get their fucking heads on it.” And then, to himself, “and you can shove your ball-playing centre-halves up your khybers.”


    So where the fuck does Owen fit here?

    Magic tongue I tells ya. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michael Owen has released his own brand of perfume.

      He's called it 'My Cologne'

      Delete
    2. Heh, I had to read that twice before the penny dropped.

      Delete
    3. I was trying me best to figure out what the joke/connection to Cologne FC was, before I wised up.

      Delete
    4. One of the best-ever puns.

      I hear the stuff starts strong and sweet before fading mightily yet lingering what seems like forever.

      Delete
  19. http://www.fifa.com/ballondor/puskasaward/index.html
    --------------------------------------
    I voted for the strike by Sow, though the Falcao one was equally good, but he wasn't really being challenged by anyone. The goal from Olivia Jimenez wasn't too shabby either.

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    Replies
    1. What, no Michael Owen on that list?

      Delete
    2. Jimenez, Sow, and Mealla were my top three. Messi and Neymar struck me as present due to name recognition, not that their goals weren't impressive.

      Voted for Mealla in the end.

      H2H, I think Owen has played about as many minutes this season as those clips combined.

      Delete
    3. No need to exagerate Stephen, he didn't even play that long for ManUre. ;)

      Delete
  20. Do goals scored in Friendlies count towards players overall tally ?

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    Replies
    1. I think they probably do, because friendlies also count in the official (try not to laugh) Fifa rankings.

      Delete
  21. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/horse-racing/20326577

    Frankely, my dear, I don't give a dam.

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  22. I guess Ibra's 4th goal will be in next years Puskas shortlist.

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  23. if i may make a suggestion, perhaps not reporting anything that clueless fuck, aka peter herbert, has to say on football matters, might be the way forward.

    sorry for any offense that may cause but he's clearly a clueless fuck.

    rs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm offended.....


      That you didn't abuse him some more.

      Delete
  24. This Neymar geezers good in't he!?

    http://ow.ly/fjeSf

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How not to take a penalty.

      Delete
    2. it just landed in my back garden H

      Delete
  25. Midfielder Joey Barton, 30, wants to stay at French club Marseille beyond his season-long loan from QPR.
    Full story: Daily Mirror

    We all want you to stay.

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  26. Norwich manager Chris Hughton has put a striker top of his January shopping list after scoring just eight goals in the Premier League so far this season. Arsenal's Marouane Chamakh, 28, and West Ham's Carlton Cole, 29, are among his early targets.
    Full story: Daily Mail

    ====
    Problem solved?!?!?!?!???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm shocked that Ngog hasn't made the shortlist.

      Delete
    2. If there's a short list then Michael Owen should be on there too

      Delete
    3. SWP must be top of the shortlist, H

      Delete
  27. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  28. Interesting that PL clubs are willing to break even. But what punishments would make a difference? Last year, a 20-point penalty to a Manchester club only drops them into the Europa League but takes Liverpool to the Championship. Maybe one point per percentage point of your total income you overspent. Or to be less complicated, 15 points the first time, relegation the second in three years. Or a large enough penalty that anyone would get relegated, anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They would forcibly have to take Joey Barton and Stewart Downing into their starting XI every game of the season. For games that Barton was red carded, they'd have to play with 10 players.

      There is no other sure way of ensuring relegation.

      Delete
    2. Ah, but there is.

      Force them to free transfer their 25 man squad and their manager. (The players don't get paid the rest of their salaries, but they should survive. Maybe they receive some sort of severance, a percentage of what they would have made for one season, only if they fail to secure a place somewhere that pays what they were making before. It can be abused, but I'm BSing anyway.) Require them to bring in the 25 of us who post here most often, some on emergency work permits, with Robbo as our gaffer.

      Sure, we'd be relegated by Christmas, but that'd make for quite a few book deals, a tv show, and a movie, which ought to bring in some revenue.

      Delete
    3. West Brom only spent 4.4m on transfers and are breakiing even. So I'm all for this as it would make them champions.

      Delete
  29. on the break even rule... i think it would need to be applicable across the divisions. otherwise, if you deduct points and the team is then relegated you could have a situation where a promoted lower division club, which didn't break even, is taking the place of that club which was relegated?

    rs

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    Replies
    1. Hmmm... good call, but some of those clubs have serious troubles breaking even, and I don't think it would be as easy as a PL side cutting salary or increasing revenue. Perhaps no club that fails to break even can be promoted? Or just those who miss out 2 of 3 years and/or by a certain percentage of their income? That way, if you can exist on losses, good for you, but you'll never climb the ladder.

      Delete
  30. I've been training my pet racing snail, sid.

    I had this idea to make him faster - remove his shell.

    Didn't work tho. Just made him more sluggish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you have sideline writing the jokes for Christmas crackers?

      Delete
    2. you could get your snail slug a war horse Blog and rename him El Cid.

      Delete
  31. What did the slug say to the snail?

    Big Issue!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I prefer snails to slugs for long journeys. They carry more escargot.

      Delete
  32. Following on from the Jen Chang story H2H linked to a few blogs back,Cheng has left Liverpool "by mutual consent and has returned to the United States for family reasons."

    http://www.sportingintelligence.com/2012/11/16/liverpool-confirm-departure-of-communications-director-jen-chang-161103/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a coincidence. Didn't see that coming.

      Delete
    2. Cheers for that Jacks.

      L'pool finally get one right

      Delete
  33. Let's not let facts get in the way of a prediction.

    From Lawro no the beeb;

    In this fixture last season, Arsenal came back from 2-0 down to beat Spurs 5-2.
    That win at the end of February was seen as a turning point in their season and what Gunners fans should remember is that, although they are going through a sticky patch now, it is nothing to the way they began the last campaign when Arsene Wenger was getting all sorts of grief.


    Arsenal this year after 11 games – 8th with 16points
    Arsenal last year after 11 games – 7th with 19points.

    Yeah, we're much better off now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Classic Lawro that. He never misses an opportunity to make himself look stupid. Either with his 'facts' or his stupid face fungus.

      Delete
  34. at least you kept the score down at Old Trafford although that was down to crap finishing as it could easily have been 6-1 although I do remember the last time that one happened a Dwight York hat-trick and it was 5-1 and all over at half time whereas in the 8-2 it was only 3-1 but just got worse.

    You'll probably win the derby though which will amuse me no end as Levy sacked Harry Redknapp in order to take the club forwards and they have gone the other way.

    AVB will be out by Easter and Spurs will be mid-table

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I was Levy I would of gave Arry the Tic-Tac too.

      It must of been like having to watch your missus flash her minge at another geezer the way Yapp yapp was giving it the come hither to the FA.

      Delete
    2. As for the OT games, at least last year we looked to put in an effort and were beaten by some well taken goals. This year we didn't even look like we could give a shit.

      I'd rather we go down 8-2 fighting, then 2-1 with a soulless performance.

      Delete
  35. True enough on both counts although the problem for AVB is unless he finishes 3rd or wins a trophy he'll have the spectre of Harry hanging over him.

    The FA encouraged redknapp and then picked Woy. Not sure if they made the right choice or not but West Brom certainly have

    ReplyDelete
  36. I think they (F.A) made the right choice.

    With Arry we'd of probably been stuck with Crotchy, Defoe Lampard and Becks untill the WC 2018

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. he won the f.a cup with a shite team though. he is probably the only manager out there that could do the same (a euro or a wc, not the toilet) with the current england squad. and he got the yi... no, tottenham into 4th too


      rs

      Delete
    2. POrtsmouth weren't that shit, they were asembled at quite a cost. He also bankrupts almost every club he's been at.

      Delete
  37. Jan Chang has been given the elbow by Liverpool which will be a relief to brendan Rogers whose been getting dog shit thru his letter box

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    Replies
    1. The statement continued: "Jen brought a fresh perspective to the overall communications function through the use of a variety of media channels, including social media and blogs.

      is dog shit delivery a media channel?

      Delete
  38. http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/video/2012/nov/16/mancini-manchester-city-press-david-platt-mask

    Fuckin bizarre

    ReplyDelete
  39. Not much confidence in Spurs to get a result this weekend. We really miss Dembele in the midfield, and Sigurdsson and Dempsey have done nothing. Still, if Santos is playing up against Lennon and Bale then anything is possible.

    I agree with H, Harry had to go. As well as whoring himself to the FA, he'd also managed to alienate a third of the squad by refusing to rotate his players. He'd taken Spurs as far as he could, for which I'm grateful, but after his actions from February onwards, he deserved to get sacked. AVB was the man I wanted in charge, so I'm prepared to give him time. I just hope the chairman buys some players that AVB wants, instead of just ones that he wants. Not going after Willian or Moutinho (AVB targets) has put us in this situation with no spark in midfield now that Dembele is injured.

    ReplyDelete
  40. http://www.offthepost.info/blog/2012/11/infographic-tottenham-through-arsenals-arsene-wenger-years/

    Interesting time-line. I didn't remember George Graham lasting so long at Spurs to be honest.

    ReplyDelete
  41. how does it happen that "Average" is bottom of Jacks H2H. He should be the epitome of mid-table mediocrity, the average fan will be disappointed.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Good day for my gooner pals

    Adabayor shares some of balotellis disordered thinking

    ReplyDelete
  43. Fire Service Safety Advice

    Reduce the risk of a night time fire by soaking all your furniture with a hosepipe before going to bed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. what shall we do when the power's out and the well pump don't work Blog? Just piss on the sofa?

      Delete
  44. Save time. Buy a new dog and don't house train him trott.

    ReplyDelete
  45. A pissed on sofa?

    He'd be pretty pissed off as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On the bright side, the stench would keep others from sitting on the sofa.

      Delete
  46. Well, anot5her 5-2 win against the LWC's. 5 goals from five different players, so I'm happy enough, yet......

    If I'm totally honest, the scoreline doesn't do Sp*rs justice (not that I'd want it to) I thought they were the bettter team until Adebuybye lost his marbles. After that, until HT we took 'em apart.

    But at HT AvB made one of the ballsiest moves I've ever seen, replacing 2 defenders with a defender and a striker and shuffled from a back four to a back three. Credit, where credit is due, they really gave it a go in the second half and on another day it could of ended up very differently. Respect.

    Well that's enough of that, time to go back to basking and gloat mode. FOYS, FIOS, We are the Arsenal, etc, etc, etc.

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    Replies
    1. Very honest assessment there H! I thought it was going to be our day with the way we started the game, but Adebayor put a stop to that. AVB's changes at halftime were very positive, unfortunately he didn't have the personnel to make it count - bringing Dempsey on was the same as putting us down to 9 men. He's done fuck all since coming to us, but there is no-one else in the squad who can play up front.

      But well done to Arsenal. They still had to score the goals and they did that well. Bad day for Lloris to get thrown into the team, but I think he needs to be the League goalkeeper now. Let Friedel play in the cups.

      A good weekend for Arsenal to get three points too, with Chelsea, Everton and Utd all losing. A classic case of Fergie underestimating the opposition. Hahaha.

      Delete
  47. Crappy officiating takes on new meaning at Middle Eastlands, as Citeh get a penalty for absolutly nothing. Only Toure was appealing…… and that was for a corner, shocking.

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  48. Perhaps I'm better off not being able to get Talksport radio working online. I would have been even crankier about that Chelsea loss had I listened to it. Anyone have a better yet still free way to listen to EPL online in the US?

    On the bright side, a reasonable week so far for my fantasy side. Even though my captain, Mata, came on for little more than a cameo, Hazard, Cazorla, Michu, Suarez, and Tevez showed up. Still not out of the woods yet on H2H and MJK (managed by one "Roy Hodgson") and it may not be enough to retake first place in the classic league, but oh well. Must keep up the charade as long as possible so the end-of-season choke is all the more spectacular.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephen.

      Why you would want to listen to talkShit radio is beyond me, they spout nonsense to intentionally provake so that the most guilable phone in at extortionate rates to be abused.

      If you just want to listen then surely BBC radio is free online, if you want to watch free online then there are a million sites to do so.

      Google "First Row Sports"nthey'll have links for every game imaginable. Or download Sopcast and look for links via that. If you use Apple, then check out the possibilitys of Veetle.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, Talksport isn't great, but the (free) match commentary beats watching the BBC page reload in silence. US broadcast rights are different from those in the UK, so we can't listen to BBC online broadcasts through legal means. The recommendations you made are much appreciated and I'll check out the links, because there's got to be something better.

      Delete
  49. can't believe the scenes from Carrow Rd. Looks like it's 100% full of Man U fans, a veritable sea of yellow and green.

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  50. What's this bollocks about that 66 year-old Romanian woman being the world's oldest mum? My mum's 68.

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  51. Tractor boys on the rack, jack

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not the best result Blogs.However,on the bright side......erm.

      Delete
  52. Just twigged there's a new podcast.

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  53. The boy is playing spurs this morning. Their training facility is jaw dropping but to be fair coll u's new set up in tiptree is impressive. Pity the neighbours, too used to protesting against the local gypsy community, are trying to close it for planning violation. Cunts.

    Mirror journalist Anthony clavane is a mate if mine and a top bloke, despite being a Leeds fan. Here's his insiders take on spurs and the Y-word....

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/we-need-to-get-rid-of-the-y-word-from-football-but-reporting-1426984

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  54. Here are the thoughts of the man himself on Match of the Day ('Arry):

    "It would not be fair of me to talk [about the QPR job]. Mark is in the position he is in, but he is a top bloke, an excellent manager. He signed Vincent Kompany so he knows what he is about. Until there is a change, if there is, is would not be fair of me to discuss it."
    ==========================================

    He obviously wants it then.

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    Replies
    1. I saw that AH, it wasn't funny, but at the same time side splittingly hilarious, the way that the jugeared ex Spud, went to the totally unscripted (yeah right) question of the QPR job, now that Hughes has lost his Spark and proved beyond a doubt, what most of us here already knew, that he has the managerial skills of a bucket of urine.

      The editors went to great pains to show the banner “Come save us Harry” (twats spelt Arry wrong) full in view just to show how deep in despair the QPR fans truly are. The crisp muncher asked the innappropriate question of would you be interested in the job, which at this moment is Sparkys, to Arry. Well the diamond geezer turned a bright shade of claret and twitched around like Mr Tic McParkinson from Twitchington on the Shake. To his credit he did say that it wouldn’t be right for him to talk about such an issue as you've pointed out, but even the most guilable could surely see that this was planned in advance.

      Normally I’d feel quite bad for the QPR boss, but because it’s that dispicable moaner of handshakability, I hope he saw it and had to cry at all those bullies on the sofa trying to get him the tic-tac. Ha Ha.

      Delete
    2. FRom todays rags;

      QPR owner Tony Fernandes will decide the future of manager Mark Hughes, 49, this week, with representatives of Harry Redknapp, 65, and Rafa Benitez, 52, said to be indicating their interest in the post.
      Full story: Sunday Telegraph

      ===

      Arry might not say anything, but that doesn't seem to apply to his reps.

      Delete
    3. Ah Rafa...how could I have forgotten about him. Poor bastard...led him team to No 2 just 3 seasons ago..then was the manager of one of the most successful Italian teams ever..now can't get a job with QPR.

      Delete
    4. If Rafa or Arry come in now, will they be getting shot of the 16 players Sparky got in over the summer and bringing in 16 new guys who need time to settle in? Man, the QPR management have dug themselves into a deep hole.

      Delete
    5. Not sure about that, but expect Croutchy and Defoe in if Arry's about.

      Delete
  55. by Wednesday he'll be leanin' on the drivers door of his Range Rover sayin' it's a smashin club, yeah, I always had a soft spot for Rangers and there's a lot o' good lad 'ere .....

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  56. Watching the highlights of this weekends Ere Divisie on the box in the bar. Everyone’s asking me why Steve McLaren still can’t speak Dutch.

    I had to inform them that the soppy twat has more then enough trouble with English.

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  57. I think the QPR squad is exactly 'Arry's type of squad - old 'proven' players. If you look at his signings for Spurs in the last season - Friedel, Parker, Saha and Nelson - they're all around or well past 30 years old. In fact, Ryan Nelson is at QPR now, so he'll be well happy. Unfortunately for the likes of Zamora and Tarrabbt, 'Arry has already sold them once, cos he didn't fancy 'em, and will probably do it again to raise funds for a move for Becks.

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  58. say what we like like about 'arry, but he's done well everywhere he's been.

    has he ever been relegated with a club he's taken over? i can't think of one and that will include some real mingers....

    rs

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    Replies
    1. ok apart form southampton... who were proper mongers!

      Delete
    2. That doesn't count though as it was part of his secret agent 00HArry plan to send them down and then go back to Portsmouth and win them a trophy

      Worked too

      Delete
  59. its all over-rated. ALL OF IT!

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  60. Thank god for Adebawhore, without him, Arsenal may have been facing another loss at home.

    The collective quality of Arsenal teams continues the downwards trend...

    We nee do to tie down Sagna and Walcott. Arsenal need them more than they do Arsenal and can be earning loads more at other places.

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  61. Yo Spitster, what have the Gooners won since Theo got there?
    Coincidence? I think not.
    He's shit 9 times out of 10 that he gets the ball. I don't want him in my team (England).

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  62. I'd love to see Walcott stay at the Emirates - I mean all that running down blind alleys, poor crossing and the odd exceptional game just as Wenger is about to drop him is excellent (if your not an Arsenal fan)

    Some Arsenal fans I know want him out as soon as poss and Oxo-cube in his place with the money going on a decent defender

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. how much money are we talkin' Adam, enough for Sam Ricketts?

      Delete
    2. doesn't he come as the other half of a buy one get one free offer

      Delete
    3. Thing is, gents, Walcott is our best right winer at the moment and only he is stupid enough not to realise that with his physique, he's not a striker but decent enough winger.

      He had the 2nd highest assists for the last 2 seasons and also scored a decent amount.

      He is far from consistent but we need him.

      I dont really give much of a fuck about the England national team.

      Delete
    4. isn't he your only right winger at the moment

      Lennon or Young would be better on the right for England anyway

      Delete
    5. I'd rather have Blog's snail slug on the wing than Walcot. Has he got a passport Blog?

      Delete
  63. Walcott's gone, he'll be playing at another club this time next year for twice what he's making at the Grove, that's what he and his agents want, the rest is just smoke and mirrors.

    He'll either end up being rubbish for L'pool or on the bench at Citeh or the Chavs. No manager in his right mind would sign him with the guarantie of being a CF.

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  64. Agreed and if he goes to Scouseland he'll be on the right of a front 3 anyway as they play Suarez up front in the main striker role and he's hardly going to get the nod in front of Aguero, Tevez, Dzeko and Balotelli is he.

    He'll go to the chavs and play 3rd fiddle to Torres unless he goes abroad but I doubt he has the intelligence to adapt to a foreign culture

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  65. I don't think Theo is stupid, he's actually quite literate for a footballer.

    I do feel though he's been highly influenced by those around him (agents/leaches etc) who have been telling him that he's better then he actualy is and he's believed the hype.

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  66. thanks Robbo & Andy great pod cast
    Del

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  67. Forget Redknapp or Rafa, QPR would do well to appoint me as manager. Anyone doubting my capabilities, please take a look at my current FFL standings (before next gameweek as it can only be downhill from here on, this is what is technically called peaking too early)-

    http://i45.tinypic.com/35clcwj.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AH, you're ruining my chance to choke spectacularly! No fun dropping from 2 or 3. Gotta fall from the top or no one cares.

      Delete
    2. I'm plotting a climb up into the European spots of the FFSL, it starts this weekend. Apologies in advance to "Obi One Kenobi Nil" it's nothin' personal.

      Delete
  68. What the hell was that at Shakhter?

    If you haven't seen it yet, prepare for jaw to hit the floor.

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    Replies
    1. http://www.101greatgoals.com/gvideos/terrible-sportsmanship-luiz-adriano-levels-for-shakhtar-v-nordsjaelland/

      Delete
  69. This thesaurus isn't just useless, it's also useless.

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  70. Di Matteo given the Spanish Archer.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20423905

    Speaking of Spanish,today's Times has a story about Chelsea having spoken to Benitez.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chelski sack Di Matteo. Abramovich has no class. I guess he was Guardiola, but what top manager in their right mind would want to work for Abramovich? Money is a factor, I suppose, but ...


      Jedi

      Delete
  71. Rafa? hahahahahahahahahahahaha, can't make this shit up!

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  72. Apparently, because Rafa is the only one who can get Torres to not be shit. If you'll believe that, then I guess you will believe anything. Roman absolutely desperate to prove somehow that he wasnt an idiot to pay 50 mil for Nando. It's become an ego thing now. RDM hammered the final nail by not playing Torres yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. its a remake of orson welles' Citizen Abramovich desperate to remove the quotation marks around torres the "striker"

      btw torres has now broken david blaines record of 44 days doing nothing in the box

      Delete
  73. So RdM becomes yet another casulty in the mad ruskies quest for football world domination, he’s now looking for his ninth manager since 2003, thats just crazy. The pay offs alone could probably sustain a small country through economic hardships or made a kick ass Death Star.

    But to be honest, is anyone really that surprised? From the very begining it all had a bit of a Sword of Damicles feel about it. I really think that RA gave him the job because that’s what the public expected, RdM was the opposite of AvB in that the he had the sympothy of the dressingroom, he was one of them and unlikely to rock the boat in any concievable way, he was in over his head from day 1.

    The constant and very public pursuit of Guardiola must of been pretty demoralising too, it’s almost like RA wanted RdM to fail. He spent a kings ransom in the last transfer market, bringing in flair players, but, imho, as good as they are, they’re all the same player. This gives RA the ammo to fire him, pointing out the net spend and it was like he was just waiting for the first blimp to get rid of him.

    Another chapter in the tragi-comedy that is The Bus Stop in Fulham.

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  74. WTF! RDB & AVB do a RVP go AWOL & do GBH RA will be BER IMHO ROFLMAO aaargh CUL8R... HILIACACLO...

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  75. RDM will get to stuff his pocket with 19months salary and he'll walk into another job where he'll attract a bunch of the ageing Chelsea stars of yesteryear. Shame it happened a month after we had an opening!

    Chelsea will have another few years of the same old shit with the revolving door spinning faster than ever. It's a great place for a manager who wants to make a few million quid and exit with at least the same reputation as he went in with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It must be some kind of money laundering scam. either that or hes trying to make a small army of manchurian candidate ex-chelsea managers who take over all the other top european clubs and then LISTEN TO ME on romans given cue, all try to buy players like david beckham/joey barton/ joe cole .... KD at liverpool was just an experiment which went too far

      Delete
  76. As if it wasn't hard enough to support Chelsea, this certainly isn't making it easier.

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  77. In my book, Abramovich deserves the Fat Spanish Waiter. And it'll be good comedy for the rest of us.

    Ees a fackt.


    Jedi

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  78. I was going to ask why Robbo hadn't posted anything new for so long, but this explains it. He must have known that RDM would be fired and a new man hired in quick succession, so he was waiting with rapier-like wit at the ready to skewer Abramohshitnotagain for his misdeeds.

    It better be Guardiola. If it is anyone less... ugh. But if Pep takes over and doesn't bring win literally every trophy until Abramegocentric sells the club, where would we turn next? Even Fergie wouldn't last in this climate; after a loss to Norwich he would have been shown the door!

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  79. I understand this want of Guadiola but it all reeks of the Emperors New clothes.

    There is no denying that Pep did very well at Barca, but with the players at his disposal it would be hard not to. Let's not forget he lost the La Liga and CL crown's in his last season. He had been at Barca for donkeys' and knew the club and all the players inside out, his success had been built on a formula that the club had adopted years before his appointment as head coach and is still being implementing today. I believe their new manager isn't doing too badly, is he?

    As for Chelsea, RA's previous appointment was also a manager that had done remarkably well, a young man that had taken his team unbeaten to a title and picked up an European and domestic cup in the same season. That didn't stop him getting the boot at Stamford Bridge less then a year later though did it?

    But when all's said and done the simple fact remains that RA is the boss, lord of the manor, head Sith of the Empire and he calls the shots. He's made it abundantly clear now that his decisions are not for the good of football or CFC, which is obviously to him simply a plaything. No, no, no, little chavovites, don't get suckered in to thinking he gives a prolaterians arse about you, it's all about feeding his overinflated ego, nothing more nothing less. I'm surprised he hasn't tried to change the name to RomanAbramovichFC, maybe it's because everyone would presume that the FC didn't stand for Football Club anymore, rather F**king C**t.

    ReplyDelete
  80. New Blog's up H,

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete