Monday, 5 November 2012

The Clattenberg Tapes

Apologies to one and all for the lack of bloggery last week. I was having a break in Brecon, near Hay-on-Wye, home of the world’s most expensive second-hand books. I bought one while I was there for £3.75. It was originally sold for £1.50. I expect some lackey of George Osborne’d tell me that ‘the book had decreased in value in real terms’. And I'd have to punch him in the face. Gladly.

Still it was marginally better than writing another blog on the plague-house that is Chelsea Football Club.
So I won’t do that. Much. I mean, steps are being taken by the FA – arthritic, doddery ones I grant you but steps nonetheless – and Clattenburg will be condemned or castigated one way or another so I’m not quite sure why Ferguson and Wenger feel the need to stick their oars in. Habit, I guess.
Clattenburg’s decisions in favour of United might mean Ferguson feels obliged to defend the bloke but it’d be lovely if he could keep his gob shut, just once. Wenger thinks such things should be dealt with in private, which is hard when even the partially-sighted can lip-read John Terry on their 44-inch TV screens. 

But what did Clattenburg say exactly, that was so inappropriate? It’s easy to misinterpret things in the current febrile atmosphere. But I have it on no authority whatsoever that the conversation went like this:

CLATTENBURG:                 Come here, son. I’m going to have to book your for that!
OBI MIKEL: He dived, ref!
CLATTENBURG: Golly!

MIKEL:  What did you call me?
CLATTENBURG: You cheeky monkey.

MIKEL: Oh it’s like that is it?
CLATTENBURG:  Look I let you off for one earlier so don’t be so niggardly about this one.

MIKEL:  I’ll be talking to my lawyers. I know you’ve got a reputation for being outspoken but this is ridiculous!
CLATTENBURG: I’m not afraid to call a spade a spade if that’s what you mean.

(Or maybe Clattenburg simply called Mikel a ‘donkey’ which is to be fair an unarguable fact.)
I hate to seem facetious about all this, and if the official concerned has uttered such regrettable remarks then his career’s in for the early bath, but in the light of recent events at Chelsea it’s hard not to get the sense of a bit of yah-boo going on here. The convicted user of racist expletives is still their club captain after all.

The situation would’ve been helped of course if the ref’s conversations were a matter of public record. Then there would be no doubt. No doubt too about the amount of obscenities lobbed in the direction of the referee during 90 minutes like so many bolts of phlegm expectorated from the throat and nostrils of the average footballer these days.

For that would be the danger of permanently miking up a Clattenberg – it would be a red rag to every prurient bull who reckons that passionate committed sportsmen should be able to compete whilst retaining the vocabulary of Noel Fucking Coward.

I remember being a tad incensed when Wayne Rooney swore down the barrel of a television camera – maybe that’s a tad too provocative Wazza - but if the lad can’t have the odd f-worded chunter at a ref who’s just turned down a stonewall penalty then we really are stepping back into the world of Mary Whitehouse – and what an annoying twat she was.
You get the same whinnying Nannies tut-tutting when Andy Murray effs n blinds after playing a particularly shit shot. So he should. The lad’s a brilliant tennis player and if it helps him win and doesn’t bother his opponent then, as Kim Sears no doubt puts it, ‘Fuck away, Andy, fuck away.’

Me, I can’t even play a crappity shot in a pool hall without upbraiding myself for being the most useless cunt ever to grasp a snooker cue. I just dread the idea of licentious do-right nobodies banging on about how these multi-millionaires can’t even put a sentence together without being a bit rude.
The Premier League continues to entertain us royally, with or without the odd wanker. (It's nowt compared to the Captial One Cup of course! A 7-5, a 5-4 and Boro in the quarters! That's entertainment). Two perennial Premier League tales are unravelling at present of course.

First, Arsenal – why have the wheels come off? Yes, Arsene Wenger’s temporarily solid Gunners have once again retreated into the same toothless keep-ball kittens: pretty and pathetic all at the same time.

Santos has proved once again that Wenger signs left-backs with a blindfold and a pin, and there’s no pace to scare anyone up front.

Giroud is just a paler version of Chamakh with less stupid hair. If Wenger insists on playing a centre-forward who can’t score he might as well play Walcott who is at the very least scarily quick. Cazorla’s a joy but there’s no devil up front without you-know-who who's doing very well at you-know-where.

Second, Sunderland – why have the wheels stayed on. When his teams do well, O’Neill looks like this genius football geek. When it’s going badly he looks like some bewildered blinking mole. The Black Cats' second top scorer in the Premier League is Demba Ba.

Martin insists they’ve not had the breaks, that they deserve better, but most of us watch them and think that the team play with all the artistry and wit of eleven Lee Cattermoles. Such is their dip in form that you’d almost think Steve Bruce was back at the helm.

There are other predictable sub-plots to the season: Suarez’s tightrope walk between genius and joke; Balotelli’s tightrope walk between joke and jerk; and Roberto Martinez continuing to prove that his sleeves are an endless source of cheap and very gifted footballers (Aruna Kone being the latest example).
We have the Champions League to look forward to this week. I’m guessing Mancini will already have written his post-match excuses. There is a small joy in watching them suffer in Europe. It's like when your rich neighbours come back from their skiing trip in Chamonix and he's got his leg in plaster. HA!

190 comments:

  1. I'm with Ferguson, unsurprisingly, as I just think hes reflecting the amazement that a referee has been accused of shouting racist comments at a player. Hmmm, I wonder if getting beat in a game they usually win and get all the refereeing decisions in has anything to do with it? Also United didn't get the bulk of the decisions in the Chelsea game, they got a lucky offside goal, that's it.

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  2. Chelsea is right!

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  3. Top blog again Robbo, love the Citeh comments at the end! Once again footie shoots itself in the foot by not embracing technology (cricket umpires are miked up and their calls are a matter of record, as are rugby refs). Anonymous appears to have missed a word at the end of post 3 ("fuckwits" is a possible if ungrammatical contender).


    Jedi

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    1. I do support Chelsea, but I'm aghast at the Clattenburg allegations. If he racially abused a player, he deserves the same sort of suspension they received (4-8 matches or similar, though little or no fine because he doesn't get paid on the same scale). If Terry and Suarez, regardless of whether you agree they are guilty or received fair punishment, are allowed to continue, so should Clattenburg. They can reform their views (or at least the expression thereof), so he deserves a chance, too. While I'm tempted to say Chelsea should be punished if Clattenburg proves his innocence, discouraging people from reporting what they believe is racism (even if to their clubs) by fining them will make those who are abused less comfortable coming forward, and we cannot afford that.

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    2. I think Chelsea should be punished if the allegations are not true, due to the damage caused. They should have done it in private, so as to allow an unbiased investigation. If the allegations are proved correct Clattenburg loses all credibility and would have to be dismissed.

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  4. Solid blog as always, Robbo, but I detect a distinct lack of ability to express thoughts without resorting to profanity. We should mic you as you write so we can understand the context of your decisions and the difficulty of being a blogger in the heat of the moment amidst a good story.

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    1. IDIOT! Forgive his ass Robbo. Even wankers can type, unfortunately.

      Keegzie from AFRIKA!

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    2. Nicely said Anonymous! Who does this stephen guy think he is? Go read a fuckin book u nut!

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    3. Rich, that is...someone called "Keegan" telling someone to go read a book...:)

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  5. Great blog Robbo, I do feel that Fergusons comments are relevent as his players were on the pitch at the time and none of whom heard anything untoward.
    Evidently Mikel didn't hear anything either but it appears he could change his mind and agree with half is team mates.
    Nothing much been said about the friendly banter of breaking Clattenburgs legs.
    Del

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    1. Good point.

      The business of throwing missiles at Hernandez when he was celebrating his goal seems to have been glossed over too. I'm sure the steward who was taken to hospital will be delighted with that.


      Jedi

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    2. Well name calling is always more serios than assualt, threatening behaviour etc

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  6. Man City -- the excuses/reasons for not qualifying have already started:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20198604

    Funny how Mancini & Mark Hughes think alike -- their teams both need more time...

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  7. Robbo any thoughts on Andre Santos swapping shirts with RVP at HALF TIME??

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  8. Probably half the Arsenal team wanted one so RVP thought he'd be nice and give away 2 one after each half
    Del

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    1. Santos figured it was the closest he would get to RvP so he had better ask him now! I think even he was surprised not to have been substituted at half-time.

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  9. It wasn't a shirt swap Santos kept his own (mustn't pay well at Arsenal"please Sir RVP Sir can you give me a shirt Sir please RVP Sir"
    Del

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    1. I think they're available in the United shop, at a ridiculous price. Can't pay well at the Gooners.


      Jedi

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  10. Maybe Santos thought taking RVP's Man U shirt meant he would come back from the half wearing an Arsenal shirt instead.

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    1. Lol! "RvP man score two for us like in the good ol'days, here lemme hold that lousy red shirt for you. Off you go get a blue one"

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  11. If Santos wanted an RvP shirt, couldn't he have got one from him while RvP was still at arsenal ?

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  12. Who knows maybe he just wanted a United shirt because they are the greatest football team.You never know.
    Del

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    1. Hasnt done himself any favors with the fans has he? Hopefully he wont ask Fabregas for his shirt if they play Barca in the group stages of the CL.

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    2. Probably not that silly ,may ask Song though.
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  13. Santos needed a shit and wanted something to wipe his arse on.

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    Replies
    1. Or even better Rooney, no shit ever sticks to him.

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  14. My own personal opinion is that Arsenal have been hit by Ash die-back infection caused by importing infected saplings from the continent.

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    Replies
    1. Mine is that they're a bit poo. (at the moment)

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  15. Good stuff RR.

    The Chavs have become an embarrassment to the PL, this latest action smacks of unfounded retribution and underhand deflection tactics. But what can you expect when even their owner is, at best, a questionable charachter with a dubios background.

    Referee's are not cut from the same cloth as footballers, many of them are quite well educated and I can't imagine, especially considering the current climate, that Clattenberg would have used racist language. (although I could ofcourse be wrong, I do have a certain pedigree in being incorrect. ;)) Oficials take an inordainate amount of shit from the overpaid primadonna's and it's easy to explain it away as a heat of the moment thing, but I don't think that should excuse it, but that's a discussion for another day.

    If he's guilty then he's finished, as unfair as it may seem when you compare to what happens to the players, but his reputation would be tarnished, his judgement questionable and his credibility as far as him being seen to able to be objective would be out the window and (here comes a the footy phrase de jour) his position would become untenable.

    But if he's found innocent then let the games begin.........

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  16. Great observation H2H,let the games begin indeed,expulsion from the football league would be fair as if found guilty Cloppenburg loses all credibility and his livelyhood.
    Del

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  17. I think we need to send out a bwfc scarf search party to noo joisey

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  18. Wba 5th would be my #1 unfolding story

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    Replies
    1. Steve Clarke's appointment turning out to be one of the best in recent times. Couldn't be happier for the man. Top bloke.

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    2. Clarkey's been a bit of a revelation down at the Hawthorns. Definitely under-the-radar appointment of the year.

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  19. That crazy paving isn't all its cracked up to be

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  20. I see that Clattenburg has been "stood down" again for the games next weekend. I hope that if the allegations against him are found to be wrong that he will sue Chelsea for loss of earnings and defamation and that the FA give them the maximum punishment allowed (which will probably turn out to only be a fine of around £100k).

    I suspect though that it will end up with a whitewash (am I allowed to use that term without being called racist?) and the official report will be that the Chelsea players "misunderstood" whatever it was that Clattenburg said.

    Colch

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  21. In AnE.

    Black ice + skinny racer tyres = broken ferkin arm

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    1. Hope it wasn't your blogging arm. Get well soon, but be careful what you call that ice.

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    2. This arm isn't wot it s cracked up to be.

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  22. Thanx again Robbo! Top notch bog! Laughed my ass off! Clattenberg-Mikel dialogue is hilarious!!!!

    Keegzie from AFRICA!

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  23. Ouch.

    Wishing you all the best Blogidy.

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  24. The san andreas fault is not what its cracked up yet be

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  25. Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo, 27, has revealed he would vote for himself to win the Ballon d'Or if it was allowed. He added: "I am what I am and I'm delighted."

    Full story: France Football
    ====

    ................!

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    1. Well, at least he is honest! What footballer doesn't think he is the best? If he doesn't think, he wouldn't be as good as he is - even if most people think Messi is better.

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    2. and I always thought he was a modest chap

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    3. modest HA!!!

      TCL

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    4. I liked his fake humility dig at Messi though. Was quite funny

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  26. Cheers H "classic cycling injury" apparently. Scaphoid fracture.

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    Replies
    1. Ah the old carpal navicula's gone has it?

      (google is my friend)

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  27. That's the kiddie. In fact I've now broken more bones than Eddie kidd

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  28. England has invaded all but 22 countries in the world. Suggests a certain compulsive hyperactivity, no? . Why not Sweden. Have you seen the women. That should have been #1 on the list. And why not Vatican City. Burning the pope in effigy in Nov5 in st marks square..And why not Mongolia. All those yurts we missed out on...

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  29. Some clown has decided it would be a good idea to do an ask Steven Gerrard a question thing on twitter using #askstevieg

    Some of the questions are superb.

    https://twitter.com/search?q=%23AskStevieG&src=hash

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  30. #AskStevieG Ryan Gigg's wife divorced him & took half of everything. How do you feel about her having 6 more Premier League medals than you?

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  31. Who would win in a foot race, Jamie Carragher or the erosion of the UK coastline? #AskStevieG

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  32. #AskStevieG Im opening a restaurant & looking for staff, you know where I'd find a fat spanish waiter?

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  33. #AskStevieG can I have my stereo back please?

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  34. #AskStevieG Which is the odd one out? Steven Gerrard. Jordi Cruyff. Paulo Ferreira. Tim Sherwood. Ronnie Wallwork. Remi Garde or Ian Pearce?

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  35. #AskStevieG On a scale of Jonjo Shelvey to Jordan Henderson, just how bad is Stewart Downing?

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  36. @RealParkJiSung: #AskStevieG would you like a photocopy of my Premiership winners medals?

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  37. #AskStevieG did Jimmy Saville fix it for you to win trophies as a grown up. Coz you've been cunted like everyone else

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  38. #AskStevieG do you always get your mates to hold some1 while u punch them or was it just that once?

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  39. #AskStevieG if u could choose any children in your household to be yours which would it be ???

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  40. #AskStevieG Is it true Suarez has a L9 postcode & his teeth are in L12?

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  41. #askstevieg if a crocodile was attacking your family would you still regret not moving to Chelsea?

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  42. And finally,probably the most pithy of them all...

    #AskStevieG What makes footballers PR companies think that using social media is ever a good idea?

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  43. Robbo that book you bought for 375 which originally cost 150 is it a bit crap, actually worth 15p and is it Andy Carrolls autobiography?

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  44. Oh and why are are you apologise.g for last weeks bloglessness I for one am grateful you still bother at all old son

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  45. eh fuckin' eh. Good stuff Robbo, he's not a racist cunt, just a cunt. The power is back on here, 8 days off and as soon as the computer comes up it shows a picture of the mouse and states "low fuckin battery", well the 'f' word was an embellishment but we have loads of batteries now.

    Anyway, we're the lucky ones.

    Sorry about your arm blog. Thank God for predictive text eh?

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    1. Would be kinda cool if it did say low fuckin battery though.

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    2. are you still living in the woods AH or is it a barren wasteland littered with remnants of long past Saturday nights (like Stanley Park) now?

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    3. Shockingly we were mostly spared. Had power out for about half a day and the worst after that was a messed up yard. No doubt going to have the home razed to the ground when we least expect it.

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    4. good for you! That's a whole season worth of good fortune used up in one week!

      Delete
  46. Raheem Sterling NOT ‏@RSilverSterling
    #AskStevieG why won't Luis sit next to me in the canteen? Or on the bus? Or anywhere for that matter??

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  47. #AskStevieG Does it piss you off that you used to play with Torres, Alonso & Mascherano and you now play with Borini, Shelvey & Henderson?

    MarioLAD Balotelli ‏@MarioBaloteLAD
    #AskStevieG How does it feel knowing I have won more Premier League titles than you?

    John NOT Terry ‏@BigJohnTerry
    #AskStevieG how's the wife?

    #AskStevieG have you ever seen the premiership trophy up close & were you tempted to rob it ? #scouse

    #AskStevieG Would you agree that the only thing mobile about Andy Carroll is his caravan

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  48. Excellent piece Robbo! Keep 'em Coming!
    The wheels came off from Arsenal because they keep on replacing quality with shit!

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  49. http://irishecho.com/?p=53052

    Joey Barton has roots in Ireland.

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  50. Reports are in gthe meeja that Nigel Adkins has one game to save his job and is almost out the door, etc, etc.

    This really is an indichtment of the game today. He has literaly dragged the Saints from obscurity into the PL in a very short time, and this is the thanks he gets? Disgusting.

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    1. it is a disgrace. he should keep his job even if they get relegated as they only expected to be in the Championship next season anyway

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  51. Yes trotts welcome back how was Oz?

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  52. Replies
    1. Heaven opened a magic lane.....the good witch loaned me a generator and I've got a scarecrow with a chainsaw workin' on the trees. Toto shat all over the rug and the munchkins made soup on the camping stove. We're gettin' there!

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  53. The reigning PL champs couldn't beat a team that had Ryan Babel and Christian Poulsen in the starting XI . How sad is that?

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    1. Did the dip in power knock out your caps?

      Fondest memories of hurricanes past when living on the east coast... somehow, though I couldn't sleep through someone walking past my closed door, I managed to snooze through multiple hurricanes.

      Hope everyone is safe and well, from munchkins to mannequins.

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    2. I'd forgotten poulson even put a red shirt on til I saw him subbed! God you're right citeh must be shite!
      Bisq

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  54. Ajax took 4 points from a possible 6 from Citeh.

    Not a lot of PL teams will do that

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  55. A bitch is a bitch is a .....

    http://soccernet.espn.go.com/blog/_/name/thetoepoke/id/478?cc=5739

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  56. Finally something positive.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20241363

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  57. And not-so-positive. Explanation please, AH.

    http://store.liverpoolfc.tv/Stadium-Shirt/pid-36143

    found via

    http://soccernet.espn.go.com/blog/_/name/thetoepoke/id/451?cc=5901

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    1. Dammit, theyre out of my size. Perfect xmas gift, dont know why you think anythings wrong with it Stephen. If you dont believe me, @askStevieG.

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  58. Oh bloody hell Celtic. Job absolutely well done.

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  59. Scrappy beats Tippy Tappy.

    Well done Celtic.

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  60. Nice to see rod Stewart in tears like that because that's how his singing makes me feel

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  61. Barca don't like it up em

    RIP clive dunn

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  62. I thought Clive Dunn had died about 20 years ago to be honest.

    Who and what the fuck is this Society of Black Lawyers, and where have they suddenly appeared from? Threatening to get the police in if Spurs fans don't stop singing the word Yid? What the fuck is going on in football these days? Throwing all these accusations under the racism umbrella is just going to dilute the problem and proper racism won't get the punishments it needs.

    And welcome back Trotts.

    And unlucky on the broken arm Blogs. Looks like Wiggins has joined you. Women drivers eh?

    And good blog Robbo. Why no pictures anymore?

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    1. Damn right on the lack of pictures! Now it's acceptable to read your blog in the eyes of my good lady! Is nothing sacred!
      Bisq

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    2. Wait... why is Yid acceptable racism but "black", a purely descriptive term (albeit intended negatively) that those it describes actually use, is unacceptable?

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    3. Ive ridden motorbikes for 20 years, Ive been a firefighter for a decade etc etc and I can honestly say the most dangerous thing ive ever done is ride a bike regualrly the 12 miles along country roads and through traffic into work...if the blind car drivers or the gormless pedestrians dont get you, the road surface is almost bound to

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  63. I wasn't meaning that Yid is an acceptable form of racism, Stephen. Just that it's a term that some Spurs fans sing to describe themselves because of the club's Jewish background, not to be insulting to someone else. It's like black people using the n-word when talking to each other - that's not deemed racist, so why should this be?

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    1. Are the Spurs fans who use the word Jewish?

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    2. I imagine that some of them are. I've been to White Hart Lane 3 or 4 times and in a 36,000 seater stadium, at least 15,000 were singing it each time I've been.

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  64. Was that John terry I saw behind Obama celebrating his victory?

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    1. dunno Blog but it weren't me!

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    2. Twas I, wearing my Chelsea kit and trying to avoid calling him a black president.

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  65. This whole Society of Black Lawyers thing confuses me.

    Think about it, if I call one of them a black cunt then I'm a racist, but it's perfectly ok for me to call them a black lawyer, it's even more confusing when you factor in the realisation that most lawyers are cunts, it's just the nature of the beast.

    The Tottenham, y-word situation is indeed a conundrum. All repatable Arsenal blogs, strongly discourage the use of that word, you can refer to them as The Marshmen, Swampthings, Shadow Dwellers, Knuckle Draggers from the shitty end of the Seven Sisters Rd, Tiny Totts, Spuds or LWC's (Lily White Cunts) among other, but use of the Y word will get you a warning and then a ban.

    If you want to use the old adage of - what's good for the goose is good for the gander- then I understand where the Society of Black Lawyers are comming from, however if they are hell bent on cleansing all negativity out of society then they should also go after the rappers who use the N-word in their lyrics, because if the Spurs fans can't call themselves the Y-word then the same standards must by applied to the N-word users.

    When they're done with that they should go after themselves, because as far as I'm concerned by using the word Black in their title they are excluding people of other colours from their organisation, and that by definition is discrimination whichever way you want to slice it.

    Like I said before.... You can't have it both ways!

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    1. A well argued piece H2, paricularly for a Gooner.

      Spurs have historically had a large Jewish following, which lead some fans of other teams to call them the "Y word". The way I see Spurs fans using it is anti-racist (no one, outside the Society of Black Lawyers anyway, would ever accuse Richard Pryor of being a racist for using the N word). If we celebrate the term, no one can use it against us (I'm a Spurs fan who isn't Jewish, so some people may disagree on this).


      Jedi

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    2. Thinking about it a bit more, shouldn't Mr Herbert be reporting himself to the Bill for calling himself a "Black Lawyer"?


      Jedi

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    3. As a Chelsea fan who is Jewish... The Y-word isn't your term as a Spurs fan, even if it is used against you. You may be associated with Jews, but you aren't Jewish. I understand the idea of owning the word positively (gays did it with "queer"), I don't think it often applies. (Still not fond of the n-word used by African-Americans.) You could be a legitimate part of rap culture and still be discouraged from using the n-word if you're not African American. (African-British? What's the PC term across the pond?) Even if the term is applied to you, it doesn't mean it fits.

      And the opinions I express are as a Jew (and one who in part studies cultural theories, at least in how they relate to education) on this one, not as a Chelsea fan. (Still torn on Dempsey's new digs.) Which really only means that I admit my biases and supposed knowledge. I'm easily just as wrong as everyone else.

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  66. Nice patronising backhanded compliment there, Jedi.

    Not bad for a Spud. ;)

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  67. Stephen, it should belong to no-one.

    You can't pick and choose when it comes to exclusion or discrimination, that's my whole point.

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  68. The Society of Black Lawyers, as far as I'm concerned, are a bunch of opportunist nobodys who have seen a chance to get their 15 minutes, that's all.

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    1. nice one AH, you just substituted the word "nobodys" for "cunts" which means that nobody = cunt which means that nobody is a cunt and therefore everybody is a cunt.

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  69. How are they going to enforce it anyway? even the Met can't nick and process 20,000 people in 1 go and all you'd get in court was "it wasn't me it was him" and vice versa, the evidence would be classed as hearsay and potentially inadmissable and completely pointless.

    Theives, rapists, paedos, gansgters and murderers would be having a great time watching the Old Bill being too busy arresting and chasing Spurs fans to arrest actual criminals though.

    Herbert reminds me of Chris Rock's mosquito character in Bee Movie who becomes a lawyer claiming as his qualifications the fact that he had "always been a blood sucking parasite and all I needed was a briefcase"

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    1. To be fair, bee's don't suck blood. ;)

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    2. Chris Rock's character is a mosquito (should probably have mentioned that rather than assuming everyone would have seen it

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    3. Then it's a briliant analogy.

      I have seen it, but to tell the truth I remember nothing about it except that Jerry Seinfield was one of the voices.

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  70. You're right H the Society for Black Lawyers is highly discriminatory not just against non-blacks but also against non- lawyers. This spreading cancer of nonlawyerism excludes the greater part of humanity. This is unacceptable and as a white non-lawyer I fucking well DEMAND they admit me* or I'll fucking well employ them to sue themselves and if they refuse to accept me as a client I will employ them to sue themselves double.

    * but only if theres free beer

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  71. Roger - When he says things like that about a man like Stephen- I've kept really quiet, but I'll tell you something, he went down in my estimation when he said that - we have not resorted to that. But I'll tell ya - you can tell him now if you're watching it - we're still reading our books, and he's got to go to a bookshop and get something, and... and I tell you honestly, I will love it if he reads that book LOVE IT!

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    1. A good punishment would be to make him read the Twighlight saga and 50 Shades trilogy in succession. He'll be in a corner crying out make me illiterate, make me illiterate, I don't want to read no more.

      Delete
  72. Just pick a dead-end relax and chill out until you die.

    -homer

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  73. Blog, s that Homer's Illiad or Springfield?

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  74. Looks like the French FA takes a bit of a harder line on misbehavior than the English.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20259676

    No comment on American FA. We exclude one of our best players--Altidore--because the manager doesn't seem to like him but can't clearly explain why. As for discipline, my guess is the only reason we don't hear about misbehavior is because too few of our players show up on anyone's radar to notice.

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  75. Apart from the Black Lawyers association, there are other associations which were set up to protect the rights of black workers/professionals, such as the National Black Police Association (NBPA).

    Believe it or not, there is even a Black Lawyers Association in South Africa, set up during the apartheid regime to represent, and protect the rights of, black lawyers who were not allowed to practice in certain geographical areas.

    As for the UK, anyone wishing to become a barrister must belong to one of the Inns of Court. Not so long ago, it was almost impossible for non-White lawyers to join one of the Inns (a bit like one of us riff-raff wanting to join the Bullington Club -- not that we'd want to), so there were next to no non-White barristers around. With the police, non-White constables were generally overlooked for promotion. Even the trades unions representing the rank and file were less than helpful.

    Hence the need for separate associations to represent and protect the view and rights of non-White employees. Do a search for "Institutional Racism".

    Yid: my dictionary tells me that Yid is an ethnonym -- the name applied to a given ethnic group. Ethnonyms can be divided into two categories: exonyms (where the name of the ethnic group has been created by another group of people) and autonyms or endonyms (self-designation; where the name is created and used by the ethnic group itself).

    So, are we talking "exonym" or "endonym"?

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  76. H2H, I agree in principle that words shouldn't belong to anyone. But those of us who are white males, we apply words to people because we have the power to make them stick, to name them whatever we want. (Take the Indians, for example. A near miss, surely, to lump such diverse peoples into one geographically-inaccurate category. All the better to discriminate against them.) We all have to be sensitive to what others name themselves and why they choose to do so. Words mean far more than their definition; their origins and intentions matter greatly, too.

    It isn't only white males that do this, but historically we have done it the most often, with the greatest strength, and with the least understanding of the results.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Prof....exonym or endonym?

    Only one way to find out.....


    FIGHT ! ! !

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  78. Language is power, that's right. In particular the power to designate and stereotype the outgroup as inferior and less worthy. Psychologically the ingroup needs to do this to justify a position of privilege. Groups ate excluded of course on grounds other than the actually non-existent idea or language of "race".

    In crisis we as country seem to have reverted to type. We have a government of Oxbridge toffs with intellects as stunted as their chins. Even the fucking archbishop of canterbury is old etonian Oxbridge ex-oil exec almost like we can't believe non posh people can be trusted with power when it matters.

    I marched against the BNP scum in the wake of Stephen Lawrences murder so I know well enough institutional racism existed/ exists in the Met police and other institutions like the fire service. No doubt.

    But black lawyers excluded because of racism? More than women? More than working class lads? Sorry, I don't believe it.

    In the UK the posh male Cuntbridge round faced hegemonic mafia dominate our institutions. In fact even Cuntbridge which is kind-of meritocratic in its own posh old school hegemonic little way isn't enough without connections. It's very tribal and functionally exclusive but not necessarily racist as such.

    The problem with the concept of racism is that its predicated on the great genetic lie that there are different races. There aren't.

    Racism exists because of history, power, ideology it needs to be eliminated. If WW 2 wasn't about fighting the credibility if racism then those men died for nothing. Unfortunately I can't help feeling the concept is given credibility by groups such as Black Lawyers. Their aim should be to not exist.

    As for Black Footballers that great discriminated against group of privileged highly trained young millionaires don't make me fucking laugh.

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  79. Turns out cav was driving the van that hit Wiggo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you sure it wasn't Lance Armstrong - no coincidence Team Sky's manager gets hit the same day

      Delete
  80. is an exonym a cake or a biscuit?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sounds more like an ointment for a rash.

      Delete
  81. So BLS would be an acronym for an exonym then?

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  82. Poor little Lionel... waah..waaah.
    http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/blubbering-barcelona-star-lionel-messi-1426558

    Hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sensationalist "journalism" at it's worst.

      A couple of quotes are twisted to make it look like he's having a tantrum when cleary he was not.

      Delete
    2. Agreed. he just said Celtic were able to make the most of set pieces because they ar a bigger team and then defended as if their lives depended on it and the ball just wouldn't fall for him.

      This is however a cry-baby bit from Jordi Alba though.

      Almost Wenger-esque in its anti-footballness

      http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/jordi-alba-barcelona-were-the-only-1426588

      Delete
    3. Like I said before, it all depends who you choose to believe. You can make even the most innocent of statements seem vile, it's what the tabloids do best.

      Here's an example of a "Wengeresque" rant from todays papers courtesy of mediawatch;

      Fuming
      The papers have decided that Arsene Wenger is absolutely furious, beside himself, incandescent with rage after Jack Wilshere was called up to the England squad.

      The Sun go with 'WENGER'S JACK LASH' on their back page, neatly combining bullsh*t sensationalism with a crap pun - their bread and butter, if you will. 'WENGER'S FRIENDLY FIRE' barks The Daily Express, while The Daily Mirror's headline reads 'CRACKERS JACK', claiming that 'FURIOUS' Wenger 'launched an angry attack' on Roy Hodgson. Even The Times, in its demure, cover the legs of the piano, understated way report his 'intense disappointment'.

      Wenger indeed does sound a little irked, quoted by most papers as saying: "I wouldn't like to come out on my feelings on that as at the moment they're not very positive."

      However, funnily enough most of the papers choose to lead with the hints in that quote, rather than the following, also found in most papers but strangely a little further down their stories.

      Wenger said: "I had Roy Hodgson on the phone, we found a good understanding and a good compromise."

      Aye, he sounds utterly fuming.


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    4. I don't think Wenger is fuming at all. Hodgson has probbaly announced the squad without calling Wenger to double check that Wilshere is actually fit to play as he's been out for 17 months and Wenger probably thinks he needs a nit of a rest but has phoned Woy and said please only play him for 20 minutes or so.

      Not fuming at all.

      It wouldn't surprise me if the Alba and Song quoted are accurate but the Messi one is being a bit twisted I think

      Delete
    5. That's the whole problem, it's hard to believe anything that is printed lately.

      Journalist integrity means nothing in the pursuit of sensationalism, yet it's lapped up by the masses and quoted as gospel.

      Delete
    6. Agreed, but the Messi story was funny.

      Delete
  83. Stephen.

    The french FA are not fucking around, are they!?

    From your link;

    The French Football Federation made the decision after the five players spent a night in a Paris club between the two legs of a European Under-21 Championship qualifying tie.......

    I thing they were probably between the two legs of something else too.
    ===
    As for Altidor, if you're refering to Jozy, then I believe I can explain why your national coach overlooks him...

    The simple fact is he's a bit poo.

    I seem to remember he couldn't cut it at Hull, he now plays for my local team AZ Alkmaar, he's a bit of a mix between Heskey and Zamora (and not the good bits) Surely a nation as vast as the U.S of A most have better options then him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whatever/whomever they found themselves amidst, it better have been worth it. The French FA may not be fucking around, but their players seem to enjoy it.

      With Altidore, I agree that he's a bit poo, though he is third in the Eredivisie goalscoring table. The rest of our strikers are pooier. (Aside from Donovan & Dempsey, who are both really forward-thinking midfielders.) Our most recent roster featured Alan Gordon, Herculez Gomez, and Eddie Johnson, and that was for two basically win-or-don't-qualify-for-the-WC matches (far earlier in qualifying than they should have been).

      Our most prolific goalscorers play for the women's team. For the men there was the matter of one Giuseppe Rossi, but that didn't quite work out for us. Otherwise it may as well be open tryouts.

      Delete
    2. He(Altidore) started off strong enough this season, but quickly reverted to type, showing frustration on the field leading to a red card for dissent a few weeks ago.

      I'm afraid I'm not well enough informed to offer any other options for the US CF position so I'll take your word for it and suggest you get yourself down to the next tryouts. ;)

      Delete
    3. I'm exactly what we need up front: 5'6" (taller in cleats), pacy in short bursts, capable of slowing down a match, unencumbered by a club career, cerebral, no football-related ego or desire to stay out late before a match, not a diver (those will be real falls)...

      Basically I'm Zola without the talent, looks, or smooth Italian accent.

      Delete
  84. Speaking of American tryouts, the commentators on Fox Soccer covering the Cl and Europa League games are unintentionally hilarious. During the Anzi-Liverpool game, they kept reminding us how Anzi had more 'turnovers' than Liverpool, and how each team dealth with 'foul balls'. I was expecting someone to hit a homerun too, but sadly that did not happen.

    Seeing how boring the game was, I was happy for the respite that the commentary provided. Good on them for trying though, and not employing the first Brit they could find.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But the second Brit they could find would have been better.

      Oh well, moving to NBC next year. Hope they'll do something similar to ESPN3/WatchESPN and put nearly everything online (with replays?!) even if you don't subscribe to an expensive cable package. Otherwise, no more EPL for me. That alone should be enough for them to provide online matches. Then we need to work on BeInSport or whatever that Qatari (?) network is called.

      Delete
    2. I also (and this probably explains why I have no money come the 25th) subscribe to foxsoccer.tv for $20 a month. Most games live, and all games available on demand 24 hrs later. Didn't know that the games were moving to NBC from next year. Hopefully they dont decide to charge the same (or more) for them.

      Delete
    3. i just hope they don't take Warren Barton with 'em.

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    4. If he´s anything like Joey they can keep him.

      Delete
    5. stephen, just got over this side of the pond a few months ago. i've figured out where to watch epl so far. but when it switches to nbc, where might i find one of those?!

      Delete
    6. Here you go my friend. Check your local listings/tv programme guide for the channels named in this report and you will be good to go. I do check out a couple games once in a while in the Spanish channels as the commentary is really funny (well, passionate, but still way funny) -

      http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/soccer/2012/10/28/nbc-secures-english-premier-league-soccer-rights/1664681/

      Delete
    7. Anon... if they go with actual NBC, you can watch live for free. Cable/satellite will cover you for AH's listings. Truly hoping they stream online but I have a bad feeling there won't be much of that. And I agree w AH; the Spanish channels (to a non-Spanish speaker) are more entertaining and less frustrating than many of our commentators.

      Delete
    8. stephen, AH, thanks for the info... so many channels... so many networks/providers/etc! i assume knowing how to watch t.v here is like cricket...
      you're born with it or you're not!

      r.s

      Delete
  85. Finaly someone talks sense+

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20276933

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  86. Chelsea have announced a profit of £1.4million for last year - the first time the club has finished in the black in the Roman Abramovich era.
    The results will be a huge boost to the club's efforts to comply with UEFA's new financial fair play regulations.
    -----------------------------------------
    They made a profit of 1.4 mil the year they won the CL ?? Would like to see what happens this year when they are unlikely to do it again, while paying the wages of Hazard, Oscar et al and possibly more big name buys in January. No doubt they'll still be within the FFP rules though.

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  87. http://www.offthepost.info/blog/2012/11/the-real-reason-why-arsenals-andre-santos-swapped-shirts-with-manchester-uniteds-robin-van-persie/

    ReplyDelete
  88. Robbo, please explain.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20177121

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  89. ple power

    By 2060, the population of major Europen countries will be:
    UK 77 million
    France 72
    Germany 71
    Italy 59
    Spain 52

    World Cup 2066. It's in the bag!

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  90. ple power

    By 2060, the population of major Europen countries will be:
    UK 77 million
    France 72
    Germany 71
    Italy 59
    Spain 52

    World Cup 2066. It's in the bag!

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  91. World Cup 2066. It's in the future!

    ReplyDelete
  92. I might just miss '66, shame that. Will there be any Bolton players in the team?

    ReplyDelete
  93. Maybe you'll win the Euros, but the US already has a larger population than that 2060 projection and as close as we've come so far... Never mind India and China, either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually by then, China would've bought Greece, Turkey and a couple others, and will also be playing the Euros.

      Delete
  94. With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
    England mourns for her dead across the sea.
    Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
    Fallen in the cause of the free.

    Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal
    Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,
    There is music in the midst of desolation
    And a glory that shines upon our tears.

    They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
    Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
    They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;
    They fell with their faces to the foe.

    They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
    Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the morning
    We will remember them.

    They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;
    They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
    They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
    They sleep beyond England's foam.

    But where our desires are and our hopes profound,
    Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
    To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
    As the stars are known to the Night;

    As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
    Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain;
    As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,
    To the end, to the end, they remain.


    If you're lucky enough to be doing whatever it is that makes you happy today then give thanks to those that gave their lives to allow you to do it.

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
  95. Amen to that colch. Here in the village they read out the names of the war dead at the cenotaph. There's a particularly poignant moment when they read out the names of three brothers....

    You're poems a bit too dulcet et decorum est pro patria mori for me though.

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    Replies
    1. I had to look up the mean of that blog and came accross this: "Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori, sed dulcius pro patria vivere, et dulcissimum pro patria bibere. Ergo, bibamus pro salute patriae."

      Delete
  96. And I won't mention chelmsford city...oops

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  97. thanks for posting that Colch. I think the 4th verse gets read every year at the Cenotaph, I didn't know there was so much more to it and I'm glad that I do now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the fourth verse gets read out throughout oz on anzac day too trott

      Delete
    2. http://www.firstworldwar.com/poetsandprose/binyon.htm

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    3. It was me Trott. Well to be fair I copied and pasted it rather than writing/typing it but originally it is For The Fallen by Robert Laurence Binyon.

      Colch

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  98. Back to drivel for a moment... out of first place in one of the classic leagues for the first time this season. Finally the official beginning of the end.

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  99. Break of Day in the Trenches

    The darkness crumbles away
    It is the same old druid Time as ever,
    Only a live thing leaps my hand,
    A queer sardonic rat,
    As I pull the parapet's poppy
    To stick behind my ear.
    Droll rat, they would shoot you if they knew
    Your cosmopolitan sympathies,
    Now you have touched this English hand
    You will do the same to a German
    Soon, no doubt, if it be your pleasure
    To cross the sleeping green between.
    It seems you inwardly grin as you pass
    Strong eyes, fine limbs, haughty athletes,
    Less chanced than you for life,
    Bonds to the whims of murder,
    Sprawled in the bowels of the earth,
    The torn fields of France.
    What do you see in our eyes
    At the shrieking iron and flame
    Hurled through still heavens?
    What quaver -what heart aghast?
    Poppies whose roots are in men's veins
    Drop, and are ever dropping;
    But mine in my ear is safe,
    Just a little white with the dust.

    Isaac Rosenberg (who was shot by a sniper in 1918, shortly after writing this)

    ReplyDelete
  100. you bring to light some most interesting characters Blog. Isaac was in the "Bantam Batallion" of the army, for blokes under 5'3". And it's not a joke that he died on April 1st. All this according to wiki.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Emile Heskey is now the A-League's leading scorer with 5 goals in as many matches, propelling Newcastle to a point behind the league leaders (we're normally a bottom three team). I think he's found his level.

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  102. Fuckin hell West Ham, they keep piling up the points dont they? And Andy Carroll yet to score for them. Once he gets his customary 25 goals for teh season, they'll be pushing for a CL spot.

    ReplyDelete