Monday, 10 December 2012

Tackling the Tossers

Maybe Manchester City's fans have as much money as the owners these days. Certainly throwing loose change at the likes of Wayne Rooney is a genuine waste of time. Wayne probably smiles to himself when he remembers the days when he'd have gladly picked it up and toddled down to a lady of the night for some entertainment. Word has it when Wazza first visited Turin and heard he was to playing the Old Lady he took some extra Euros with him.

Love of your club and hatred for its rivals are two sides of the same coin, which may well be a metaphor too far for the knobhead who lobbed one at a celebratory Rio Ferdinand. There are always those who take things too far and once again it's the honest Johns who swear quietly into their half-time Bovrils who are getting lumped in with the louts.

It's a shame cos the Manc derby had much to admire in it, apart from Mario Balotelli. I dunno if it's the haircut but increasingly Mario plods about like a truculent dinosaur, and probably finishes about as well as your average deinonychus n all. (I have a 9-year-old son, I know about these things).

Whatever you think about Carlos Tevez - and that'll be many more thoughts than the little gaucho has had in his entire life - you can't deny that he's ten times the player Balotelli is, which means he's half the player Balotelli thinks he is. Why Mancini persists with his fellow Italian is one of the great conundrums of British football.

(The others are: 'How Come The FA Aren't Imposing Retrospective Three-Match Bans On Diving Little Cheats Like Santi Cazorla?' and 'Jordan Henderson - Why?')

That aside it was end-to-end stuff and Fergie's positive team selection had a lot to do with that. Every season feels like it has to be his last and yet he still manages to get most of the important decisions right. It's infuriating. You do feel that whenever he does leave - and despite huge and grudging admiration I'll be on one end of the lever - that the next bloke is going to have the toughest job in football. Well, apart from being Roman Abramovich's manager-finder general.

If you want to understand the difference in commitment between the two, you could hardly do better than look at the Citeh wall for United's winner. Samir Nasri, a gifted mercenary who joined the millionaire swells last year, was just another prick in that wall. And a loose prick at that. It realy was the most effeminate attempt to block afree kick I think I have ever seen.

In fact women's teams are much more slid when they line up a wall, I reckon. Although that's possibly because there's less to protect. Nevertheless, Nasri deserves a thorough dressing-down by Mancini if only to discover whether he actually has any balls.

Lescott must be wondering quite what he's done wrong too to be replaced by Nastasic, and then Kolo Toure when Kompany came off. The big wardrobe was very good at the end of last season.

But it all led to a typically Fergiefied finish. He's like a latter-day Fagin, isn't he, leading a team of arch pickpockets as they nick win after win.

Perhaps the man most likely to succeed him upped his chances on Sunday too when Everton snatched a last-gasp win. Everton under Moyes have become a second favourite team amongst many fans simply because the manager's stuck with 'em and his team play football the way we'd all like our teams to.

Jelavic glad-handed every player on the bench when he left the park after grabbing the winner and frankly that's not a sight you'd ever see on the bench at Eastlands. That's probably why I begrudge every point Citeh get at the moment. It really is a flagrant assembly of self-interested wealth-creators, that squad. So for once I was happy to see United win.

I still don't reckon on United strolling to the title from here on in. They've got the Champs League still, which happily Citeh don't, but more than that they're not so much better than every other candidate out there - unlike, say, Saltburn's own James Arthur (he won X Factor by the way).

Mind you if Teesside could be bothered we'd win every talent competition going, man. The walls of our buildings are dripping that kind of raw soulful brilliance it's just we don't like to go on about it. NB there's a bit of irony in that statement.

Of course the throwing of missiles by the fans is going to be the main subject of conversation for the next few days and I have to say it drives me tonto. I've no doubt that much of this is laced with naked jealousy for the preposterous amounts of money these blokes earn. But that's giving it too much credence as some sort of protest.

Yes, they're overpaid. Yes, they behave like children. Yes sometimes their celebrations could be termed as 'provocative' although given similar circumstances I'd be sliding on me knees and raoring with delight too. And yes, sometimes, as with Cazorla (who seemed delighted by his deceit) they don't deserve even the minimum of respect.

But for Chrissakes most of us stopped throwing stuff at other people when we were seven years old (that school window costs my Dad a fortune to fix). I've no desire to see Rio Ferdinand's blood unless it's been delivered to drug-testers (and a good thing that would have been, eh?)

Let us not forget though, that the vast majority of footballers, even the ones wading through wonga, simply get on with the game because they love it. And in the case of both Glen Johnson and Joe Cole, they remember that fans have long memories and do the decent thing when they score against them.

All Citeh can do is find the tossers and ban them. Otherwise we'll go back to the days when Dads stopped taking their kids along and we'll all be even further in hock to Rupert Murdoch if we want to get our football kicks.






227 comments:

  1. yayyyyy, after years of following Robbo, I have accomplished my goal... now I will never read it again, adios people :P

    Mcnulty and Garth Crooks here I come for your highly original content and excellent insight... wish they would give a regular blog to R.Savage too...

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  2. good stuff Robbo, I've been sickened at football matches several times, Luton fans throwing darts across the wall of policemen at Burnden park back in the late 70's, Wolves and Bolton fans lobbing half knackers at one another on a demolition site outside the ground and then over here when they started MLS and the same but different arseholes started chucking coins. Nothing changes unless something changes. Sick fucks. Hang 'em.

    Some great games though at the weekend.

    And Bee Zee, come back and let us know how that works out for ya!

    ReplyDelete
  3. ManCity fans - taking a defeat with dignity, mark of true champions, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great as always, Robbo, particularly the bits with coin metaphors and journal article titles for English conundrums. Might write one of those papers someday, if I can get a travel grant to watch a few matches as research.

    As for players not celebrating against former teams, is that why Saha doesn't bother scoring any more, since he couldn't ever celebrate?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Typical Man City really.Just throwing money at the problem.

    ReplyDelete
  6. From previous blog -

    Math obviously not Brendan's strongest suit -

    ""The first 25 minutes, we were outstanding, some of our play was great and it was capped off with a great goal by Glen Johnson.And then all of a sudden, for the last 30 minutes of the first half we stopped playing."

    (No wonder the players looked a little jaded at halftime).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's simple AH. BR includes the 10 minute warm up in his analysis, very thorough is that lad.

      Delete
  7. Another prick inthe wall...
    ----

    Nice one. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll probably sing that every time i hear that song now ...

      _

      James

      Delete
  8. In other news ... I reckon I'll have coins and bricks hurled my way if I don't get my FFL lot to start winning the odd game.

    _

    James

    ReplyDelete
  9. Joking aside though .... coins and one man fan invasions ... fuck sake it's like we're on a slow descent back to the 80's again.

    -

    James

    ReplyDelete
  10. The ball boys at Middle Eastlands must pick up a pretty penny.

    Seriously though, with all the cameras in stadiums these days it must be pretty easy to find the culprits, name and shame the twats and then ban them.

    As for Santi Carzola, I hate what he did on Saturday and as an Arsenal supporter I'm embarassed by it. I think that all players who are caught on camera cheating should be sanctioned......... but I mean ALL players. Not just the Johnny Foreigners who "come over here and ruin our game" but the home grown cheats a la Young, Wellbeck and the diviest of chimps Galen Bale, who when they do it are "just avoiding injury".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe they are trying to win the alterntive to Ballon D'or - the Fallin t'floor award?

      Thanks for the You Tube link Trotts, after Adams reminder I wasted (only poss in my bosses eyes) the rest of Friday afternoon trying to find it!
      Shame so many of the old posters had dropped by the wayside.

      Anyway spent the whole of the Man derby match on edge of my seat, not that it was that thrilling just Mr BHB sprawled out on sofa ..

      Delete
    2. I actually think Young and Welbeck were shamed by the fuss over diving last year and have not been the same this season. Certainly Welbeck didn't go down a couple of weeks ago after being clipped on his way past the goalie - and then missed the goal!

      More noticeable yesterday was Tevez staying on his feet in the box - and Mancini having a fit because he didn't go down! Evra was close and probably gave him enough of a shove to make it look real, but fair play to Carlos there (frame that because I won't say it again - he should have been sent off later in the match).

      The problem is that if you don't go down, but are off-balance and miss, you get nothing. Similarly, if you take a big swing at someones leg and miss, you don't get booked even when the intent is there. This is why players are "encouraged" to make it look bad - this is how they get the decision in their favour.

      Not sure there is a simple answer to this, but calling out players who have clearly faked it is probably a start.

      Delete
  11. Great as ever Robbo. And while it's self regarding nonsense - can we look forward to a blog on the resurgent Boro over the holidays? (I live in the states so claim grammatical asylum for that)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I believe that if a player scores against his old club he should celebrate.

    If Joe Cole had so much respect for the West Ham fans then why the fuck did he join local rivals Chelsea?

    If it smells of, or looks like, hypocrisy, then it usually is.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Football Association could introduce retrospective disciplinary action against divers at the end of the season.
    Full story: the Daily Telegraph

    ====

    Now THAT would be retrospective.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Only 10 more shopping days to Doomsday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i've done my shopping on-line, ordered a ship and a helicopter, with no payments until 2013.

      Delete
  15. As long as McAnuff and Fletcher don't manage to get sent off tomorrow, I am likely to pick up a couple more victories. Still losing ground in the classic leagues, though. 5-2-3 next week, because while Chelsea is away, whoever I have left will play.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whoa..thanks to your victory over Wains Wanderers I actually manage to retain top spot in all 5 leagues despites losing 5 of my last 6 H2Hs. How bad are you lot ?

      Anyway just to make it interesting, Bale and Enrique out injured and I did not factor in the Chavs being at the Club World Cup into my transfers so thats Hazard,Ivanovic and Mata out as well. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

      Delete
    2. I should point out to you AH that Pride comes before "of lions"

      Delete
  16. Great headline on the BBC sport website.

    Headlines

    WALES
    Jones wins Welsh Sports Personality award

    Hmmm,Jones.That narrows it down a bit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just like the Sheep who was runner up then!

      Nice to see your boys winning a few games under MicMac.

      Spider

      Delete
    2. I'd like to thank my agent, my team mates, family etc, neil tennant and chris lowe, my robbo blog fellow contributors etc

      well as it is so unspecific it's worth a try

      Delete
  17. Replies
    1. commonly known as utter rubbish

      or karaoke

      Delete
  18. Cheers Spider.

    Good old Mad Mick.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNy4JkglF1w

    ReplyDelete
  19. Foreign players to get cultural lessons to tackle racism

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20672812

    Teach them to be Britishly racist so they blend in better. Nearly all the players--and fans, and most of the rest of society--need to learn how to stop being bigoted in general. Make it a requirement to get a contract--whether senior or youth, at least at professional clubs--to buy season tickets, to get a coaching license... Why stop at racism? How about teaching people to not be discriminatory based on sex, gender identification, sexual preference, socioeconomic status, age, level of education, and so on?

    That would make football a beacon of social responsibility. Even worse, it would cost money.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh, and happy birthday, mom! If you're reading this... why didn't you tell me you liked football?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephen, your mother says "tell him there's a lot of things I like that he doesn't need to know about."

      Delete
  21. Nice to see the vale making the headlines again...

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4692775/police-mistake-ladies-choir-for-football-yobs.html

    ReplyDelete
  22. Are non of my most strongly held beliefs true sob sob

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4692560/the-wurzels-adge-cutler-preferred-wine-to-cider.html

    ReplyDelete
  23. and that concludes my review of the papaers

    ReplyDelete
  24. No ignominy gooners bradford also knocked port vale out of the cup although to be fair we beat them in the league

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. eh, fair dues, Bradford beat the mighty Trotters 2-1 in '93 (although we've had 3 wins and 2 draws since then).

      Delete
    2. and I well remember when Bradford knocked us out the FA Cup, winning 2-0 in 1912

      On subject of gloating, what can I say Chelsea sailed through the first round of Club World Cup, watching the match was blink and you'll miss it moment ..... And there I've been doubting the effect of Ein Fat Zebra

      Delete
    3. still less ignominy attached, Bells as they were holders in 1912, - they won it in the replay with a single goal from Jimmy Spiers who went on to die tragically at Paschaenndale in 1917, i havent looked this up on wikipedia you understand i just have an encyclopaedic knowledge of fa cup minutiae

      Delete
  25. Arsenal ..... lol *sniggers*

    I guess they really meant it when one of their directors said winning didn't matter any more ...

    -

    James

    ReplyDelete
  26. It is so tempting to gloat over the result at Bradford but I'll resist - although you knew they were going out the minute Gervinho, Coquelin and Chamakh made the teamsheet

    Great result for Sunderland - move within a point of the Barcodes but the best result of the night was the mighty Southend getting through to the 3rd round of the FA Cup to meet Brentford in the next round.

    Nope Sorry it wasn't it was Bradford really sorry but I'm gloating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even with Gervinho, Coquelin, and Chamakh, Arsenal should be able to beat Bradford.

      Delete
  27. Gloat all you want, supporter of a team that were already out. ;)

    Seriously though, well done Bradford you deserve all the plaudits you'll rightly recieve and good luck in the next round.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Touche

      Wenger was right to give Bradford credit for their performance. Great result for them but yet another tropyless year.

      Problem is that their are only 4 prized avaialble a year and 20 clubs fighting for one, 32 for another and 92 for the 3rd and several hundred for the FA Cup but in terms of the cups there are about 7-8 clubs who can win it and there is no guarantees in football but the pressure on him will defeinitely increase

      Delete
  28. Liverpool and Arsenal both will have their seasons decided, more or less, by the next 5 games, all of which are against what can be considered lower-league opposition (though Villa and Newcastle may be debatable). Come Jan-1 if either team has managed 12 or more points then they will be in with a great chance of their Jan signings making a big difference. If they manage 8 points or less, imho, 4th place will not happen no matter who they sign.

    Liverpool - Villa,Fulham,Stoke,QPR,Sunderland
    Arsenal - Reading,Wigan,W.Ham,Newcastle,Saints

    ReplyDelete
  29. This will make you feel slightly better about it

    The Gunners aren't the only ones to get hit with results like this

    http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/the-greatest-league-cup-shocks-1791532.html?action=gallery&ino=1

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the beauty of cup competitions and what makes footy so great. The ability for the Goliathes to be taken down by the Davids, crap analogy, sad cliche, etc etc etc.

      Bradford fans will be dinning out on last nights result for quite some time and good luck to 'em.

      Delete
  30. I never doubted the source of your information for a moment Bloggy - what with your knowledge of whelks AND Bradford, possibly an interesting choice of subjects for Mastermind

    ReplyDelete
  31. or indeed you could just go for that highly specialised subject Whelks from Bradford

    ReplyDelete
  32. Ah the Bradford Whelk, buccinum undatum eebygumfancyacurrium ... dont get me started

    ReplyDelete
  33. ...yes the famous whelk, as immortalised by TS ELiot. from memory, i may be misquoting ...

    The young man arrives for the cup tie,
    A lower league player, with one bold stare,
    One of the low on whom assurance sits
    As a silk whelk on a Bradford millionaire.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No I am sure I that remembering having to learn that as part of my Whelk literature O'level course - word perfect Bloggy

      Delete
    2. You won't find McNumpty quoting TS Eliot, but that may be because the latter doesn't have a Twitter account. Or does he? I'm not on Twitter, as I rely on McNutter to pick out the best bits, much like a whelk... uhh... Blogs, help me out here; I don't know enough about whelks for a simile.

      Delete
    3. did your studies include Shakespeare's Taming Of The Whelk, Bells?

      Delete
    4. I did indeed Trotts and Whelk Night.

      I read somewhere yesterday that the Knobbed Whelk is the state shell of New Jersey is this true or does your other post about masturbation disprove this?





      GO CHELSEA!

      Delete
  34. i received an email yesterday about the health benefits of masturbation. I've tried it 14 times in the last 24 hours I but don't feel any healthier.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's because you're supposed to masturbate, not repeatedly read the email.

      Delete
    2. ohhhh, just the once? Like every December 11th?

      Delete
    3. Maybe your problem was that you stopped?

      Delete
  35. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-20700529

    This reminds me of home matches in college... even though we were Division 1 (top level of NCAA, though not in a good conference... think Scottish Premier League) men's soccer drew a few hundred for many matches but as few as 100 for midweek games, women's soccer often struggled to have 50 fans. Most sports had poor attendance. There were some matches (women's lacrosse in particular) where I was one of fewer than ten fans who stayed the entire time.

    Plenty of fun when you know the players and refs can hear you, though. Eventually they give in and start responding to you... As do their parents, when present.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's actually rather unbelievable that in a footy crazy country like Italy, in the highest league in the land, that only one away supporter would travel one hour to watch the team play.

      Delete
    2. Bit like Wimbledon FC in the late 90's early 2000's. They all boycotted the club with about only 10 people showing up and they wonder why the club went to Milton Keynes.

      If they had all turned up every week and Merton Council had given planning permission for a stadium it would never have happened

      Delete
  36. i phoned vale park to see what time the game on saturday starts

    they asked me what time i could get there

    ReplyDelete
  37. Just now on BBC wesbite

    Mark Lawrenson on MOTD:
    "Great ball from Fernando Torres for Chelsea's third, he bent the ball around the defenders who were running back. Game over essentially."


    That means it'll all go tits up now

    ReplyDelete
  38. A more awesome Jesus-sighting you will not have read about.

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4694296/one-hundred-and-deity.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's definitely better than a Bigfoot sighting. Here in the States they would have stopped everything and started praying (for either of them). Though we tend to prefer our Jesuses on toast.

      I find it off-putting that Western cultures assume Jesus was white, since he almost certainly wasn't. But I do like the idea that if he came back, he would attend sporting events. He was a man of the people, after all.

      Delete
  39. Magician and Bradford fan Dynamo claims he helped his side to a shock victory over Arsenal by having a hand in Gunners defender Thomas Vermaelen's missed penalty.
    Full story: Daily Mail

    ===

    If this guy's powers are so great then why the fuck are Bradford in League 2?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. he's still workin' on his tricks H. Few years from now they'll win the Champions League.

      Delete
  40. Blogdignag jnr (not his real name) is a ballboy for a couple of upcoming col u fixtures ... lucky lucky boy just wondering if i could pass for 12 if i lock him in the shed and squeeze into his kit ...I would've given my left arm to do that as a kid but they told me they had no use for one armed ballboys ...living the dream boys and girl living the dream

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's how it starts. First you're a ballboy at Col Utd, next thing you knoy you're in Los Angeles with a Spice Girl and 4 kids.

      Delete
    2. Wow... I didn't realize twelve year-old boys were so into Spice Girls that bands of the smitten children kidnap one of the former pop stars and smuggle her to the States. Sounds like a great novel, though.

      Delete
  41. ... so it's better being racist than showing your sponsored underpants ...

    -----

    From the BBC

    Recent Uefa fines:

    - £16,700 to Porto for their fans' racist abuse during the Europa League match against Manchester City.
    - £32,500 to Lazio following racist chanting during a Europa League game against Tottenham.
    - £24,735 to Manchester City for being one minute late back onto the pitch after half-time against Porto.
    - £80,000 to Denmark striker Nicklas Bendtner for revealing a sponsor's logo on his underpants during Euro 2012.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe they thought Paddy Power was a right wing Irish movement!?

      Delete
  42. Right ... so we have two players banned for having to engage in a bit of self defence at the end of the match while the Serbian FA get charged threepence and told to play a game behind closed doors, when this is the umpteenth time they've shown their fans are animals.

    Fuck you UEFA, fuck you.

    -

    James

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They haven't got a fucking clue have they.

      I just read that they are planning to appeal about the leanience of the punishments that they themselves have chosen to give;

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20725608

      If this is a joke, then I don't get it.

      Delete
  43. eh up, did the French conquer us again? On yer bikes lads. Tour de France includes Leeds to London? wtf. Don't we have a tour de Britain?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pub crawling hasn't been sanctioned by the ICA yet. Any moment though, I hear.

      Delete
  44. http://www.telegraaf.nl/binnenland/21149876/__Blowverbod_op_school__.html


    (I urge you to translate it)

    What’s this country coming to? They’ll be banning beer in primary schools next.

    ReplyDelete
  45. No more sneaky doobs for the kids then!

    ReplyDelete
  46. BREAKING NEWS 2014 TdF Grand Depart will take place in the back garden of the Sultan of Dubai with the riders wearing high tec cooling hats which snow inside and bicycles made from icicles.

    Leeds¿ they still point at aeroplanes?

    ReplyDelete
  47. There was young cyclist from Leeds
    who swallowed a packet of seeds
    in half an hour
    his knife was a flower
    and his shellsuit was covered in weeds

    ReplyDelete
  48. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20726222

    Di Canio to Chelsea in January?

    ReplyDelete
  49. Coin in the eye seems a bit piffling compared with the latest US school massacre. What the fuck is that all about.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Many US states allow people (with concealed weapon permits) to carry guns on school grounds, including elementary/primary schools. I believe their logic is that if something like this happened, you could return fire and stop the shooting. (That, and the idea that one should be allowed to carry guns anywhere, anytime, for any reason.) Personally, I think it would be better if gun laws simply made it harder to acquire and carry guns, period. The sad thing is, in the end, we will use this to polarize ourselves rather than come together to find a solution. Some will argue for more guns, others for fewer, and this cycle will continue.

    Sorry to head to far off topic (and into politics).

    ReplyDelete
  51. The logic of second amendment only holds if the state is perceived as an alien and potentially hostile and tyrannous entity .... This is a strange state of affairs. Editor of Time said he could be prosecuted for the ashtray on his (public ) office desk but not for the gun in the draw. No one would argue that the US isn't relatively free but the first day at school must feel like being drafted for Nam . Im happy to give up the useless freedom to bear arms if the nutter next door also has to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 2nd amendment was only supposed to apply to organised militia such as the National Guard. The US need to do something about it such as no guns in school grounds

      Delete
  52. Sane people dont want guns. Only insane people want guns. Its not proportionate. To own a gun in the event that i encounter a nutter with a gun who only has the right to own his gun because of my right to defend myself from him is perverse. Its as mad as confiscating loose change at the gates of a football stadium . Its not proportionate. Charlton hestons manly pride isn't worth a hair on the head of a child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couldnt agree more bloggy, your cogent rationale is beyond dispute. By me at least. Doing anything to the 2nd amendment is going to need far more people thinking along those lines than is ever going to be possible. Yet, if this country is to do something about gun control its now or never, If 20 dead kids between 5-10 years of age dont change people's minds, then nothing will. Sad, sad day. What a christmas its going to be for the families.

      Delete
    2. it's all so sad and tragic for these kids, the adult victims and the hundreds of people in their immediate families that will be eternally affacted. The fact that the shooter used his Mother's licensed guns is also fucked up.

      The problem is, that as long as the bad guys have the guns, they ain't giving 'em up and I wonder if I should start by acquiring my own, I wonder if every school in America should have an armed guard at every door? Why not every classroom? I wonder how long will it then be before one or more of the armed guards gets a screw loose and goes on a rampage. It's a sorry state of affairs but no simple solution.

      Delete
  53. Early Christmas present for you all.

    http://www.offthepost.info/blog/2012/12/john-terry-sends-his-half-naked-photo-to-millions/

    You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Brendan Rodgers has insisted that Liverpool are entitled to have lofty ambitions for the 2012-13 campaign – revealing that he has told his players not to merely aim for fourth place in the Barclays Premier League.
    ====================================================
    And a little later that day:

    Liverpool 1 - 3 Aston Villa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was absolutely hilarious.

      What he didn't tell you was he meant in the NPower Championship next season

      Delete
  55. In fairness, he probably forgot to say " our aim is to finish 2nd...... Every game!"
    Bisq. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  56. The world ain't gonna end after all. This video has been prepared by NASA scientists for general release on Dec 22nd.

    http://www.coolestone.com/media/5034/Why-the-World-Didn't-End-Yesterday/

    Makes it a bit worrying that they'd let it get out earlier!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Rafa out then?

    Just watched the last 10 minutes of the club world cup. The brazilians playing and celebrating like it was the finals of the world cup. Chelsea just wanted to get this sordid affair over with and return home. I think the only Chelsea employee who wanted to win it was Rafa.

    ReplyDelete
  58. There was no way for Chelsea to get a positive result in the Club World Cup. Win and no one cares because it is a meaningless competition we were supposed to win anyway. Fail to win and you're damned for losing a competition you should have won and could have easily revived your season.

    Though losing means we might as well dump Rafa for Kermit the Frog.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Chelsea losing it is amusing as the previous 6 european teams including Inter with Rafa in charge won it. they are 13 points behind United - Europey league next season

    SAVE RAFA

    ReplyDelete
  60. Wilshere close to new Arsenal deal, Ramsey & Jenkinson done & likely to be announced with Ox & Gibbs as #afc build British core #bbcfootball @bbcsport_david 16 hours ago

    Wasn't it only 4 or 5 years ago that the entire team was non-British? No wonder it's goin' tits up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John Terry must have a very different take on the idiom "going tits up"...

      Delete
  61. Here's what happens if you go up against Septic Bladder;

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20762363

    He already had a life ban and now they've given him another one.

    Does this mean if he dies and gets re-incarnated that he still won't be allowed to work in football!?

    ReplyDelete
  62. I think it means when he dies they dig him up and shit on his corpse H

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Looks like they're doing that while he's still alive.

      Delete
  63. And the Thugton magic strikes again.

    Felallini (my captain)is banned for 3 games.

    So between an earlier 1 game ban for racking up yellow cards, then Hangeland having a 3 match holiday then immediately followed by a week out for Suarez, and a week out for Mata as the Chavs fuck up abroad means I've had a key player out for the past 8 weeks now lol

    -

    James

    ReplyDelete
  64. Massive win in FPL this week courtesy Cazorla show :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He scored half my team's points this week and rescued a respectable result in the H2H ... he's the Thugton answer to Gareth Bale.

      -

      James

      Delete
  65. Morning all
    Well as usual a total conspiracy against Chelsea - I mean actually getting us to play another team in the Club World Cup final, not another bye - which meant bye bye to us. What with that and the fact FIFA made the goal mouths too small for Torres to see, what chance did we have?
    It's an absolute outrage.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Maybe that's it Bells. The guy needs specs and he's too vain to go out there looking like Adrian mole. He could nt hit a banjo with a pigs arse on stick in that game.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Well done wiggo. Well deserved trophy. Im glad he got that trophy.personally i would have given jess ennis one as well.

    ReplyDelete
  68. I think tom pope was unlucky to miss out on a spoty nomination at least but that's the sort of racial prejudice and class bigotry against alternative sexualities and people with learning difficulties that top strikers in the lower (or "more real") leagues have to live with

    ReplyDelete
  69. This from the Telegraph ...
    Britons are living far longer than previously thought with no sign that we are reaching an 'upper limit’ of how old people will get, a new report has shown....

    Now im just fucking confused. Am i going to die on Friday in the mayan zombie apocalypse or am i going to live forever?

    ReplyDelete
  70. Super finish to the FFL week, from almost losing both H2Hs with just Santi to play, comfortable victories in both and back to top spot in all 4 leagues. Mwahahaha.

    With Bale, Enrique and Fellaini(you cunt) all out next week, hopefully Santi can get us a few more points.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I picked up 46 from the Captain Santi clause.

      Delete
  71. heartily agree, personal choice would be to give it to Jess.

    Save Rafa.

    There's only one Doug Frogman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only one Doug Frogman - how can you leap to that conclusion?

      Delete
    2. are you not hoppy with his performance

      Delete
    3. he's the managerial messiah Bells. Your lot'll be after him soon enough!

      Eiter that or he's a very naughty boy.

      Delete
    4. Yes him and R*f* are tadpoles apart

      Delete
    5. How many amphibian puns can one typo spawn.

      Delete
    6. I don't know but it will be ribbitting to find out

      Delete
    7. you are too kind, but I am currently pond-ering the meaning of life

      Delete
    8. You win Bells, here's a tune for you;

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=NL&hl=nl&v=0auCDOERZyE

      Delete
    9. I cannot open it now H2 as I am in middle of open plan office - however, if it is Crazy Frog and it gets stuck in my head , I will not be happy :)

      Delete
    10. Nah, like us, it's of an older vintage, although you still may not be happy;)

      Delete
    11. I feel a tad poleaxed for missing this pun run.

      Delete
  72. Off home now - only three more sleeps til the end of the world

    ReplyDelete
  73. if i say i can think of a good frog pun im afraid imfibbyin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn you blogidy I tried (and failed miserably) for ages to try and work out how to fit that one in.

      Delete
  74. Garth Crooks does it again with his team of the week;

    GOALKEEPER - HUGO LLORIS (Spurs)
    Hugo Lloris makes my team of the week for the first time after a clean sheet against Swansea that is worthy of recognition...

    Swansea shots on target against Spurs = 0

    Yep, he must of put in a world class performance.

    LEFT-BACK - KIERAN GIBBS (Arsenal)

    Did you know? Gibbs contributed two assists against Reading - the first and second of his 46-game Premier League career.

    Did you know that it was Gibbs' failed back pass that lead to the first Reading goal?

    Does this guy actually watch the games he expertly comments on?

    ReplyDelete
  75. a kermit should be required for this drivel.

    ReplyDelete
  76. It took me a while H. To be honest in the end i phoned my grandad who's a big Countdown fan. He lives in France but don't worry this isn't heading towards a lame Frenchman Frenchman/frog pun. Its much worse than that. So my grandad thought for an hour and then gave up. He's a master debater and married to a cunning linguist who speaks seven languages .
    He phoned me back and said sorry i can't work out a good frog pun but your granywill ....

    ReplyDelete
  77. Lionel Messi: Barcelona forward to extend contract until 2018

    Lionel Messi has agreed a new contract with Barcelona, keeping him at the Spanish club until 2018.

    Another promising youngster that we've missed out on. Ho hum, Ngog for another two seasons it is then.

    ReplyDelete
  78. You can admire messi but you can't love him like pele or cruyff or hate him like that little Argentinian shit.

    He's too much like a footballing robot. False 9? Give me a real one. No forwards, midfielders as centre halves, full backs as wingers. The games gone mad. Rules don't allow tackling. Little skinny players taking over like some kind of anorexic alien invasion....The only thing that saves British football from the tedium of barca style tippy tappy passing and possession is that were crap at it. Witness Brenda at Liverpool, a magnet for footballing delusions of technical proficiency...Joe Allen/ Cole?? Add walcott and sturridge in Jan and you have a delusional parody of tippy tappy. Expect a few years in the wilderness, AH.
    The high priest of this sort of football marcello bielsa said if my players were robots I'd win everything. Well at barca they do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Walcott wishes he could tippy tappy, he's more of a runny fally and Sturidge is a.... well I'm not exactly sure.

      A shooty missy maybe.

      Delete
    2. You all would have noted my passionate appeal to BR not to buy Sturridge. He then threatened to show interest in Samaras, at which point I apologized over my childish opposition to Sturridge. Fill my mailbox with all the shit you want, but to put some of it alongside that fine gentleman Luis is too much.

      There is hope though -
      Tottenham and Newcastle are trying to hi-jack Liverpool's move to re-sign winger Thomas Ince, 20, from Blackpool.
      ===============
      Tell you what, take Sturridge too and we'll consider it a deal.

      Delete
    3. Letting Tom Ince leave for nothing, then shelling out a few mil just over a year later to get him back is probably considered good business at the club who paid 35mill for a 5 minute wonder who they then sent out on loan.

      YNWA (misery loves company)

      Delete
    4. To be fair, it was a different set of people who sold him. If BR thinks he's good enough, needs to pay market rates irrespective of what we sold him for.

      Delete
  79. Well I hope you are happy H2 - not only do I now have that song going round my head, it reminded me how much I dislike Paul McCarthey/The Beatles and so I now have We All Stand Together and Yellow Submarine alternating in my head. Not a pleasant way to spend the last two days on earth .......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only one thing to do to get rid of that Bells..try this one, guaranteed to work -

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx0Ru_1zPVk

      Mind, you have to watch right till the end for this to work.

      Delete
    2. why is it I am somewhat hesitant to give that a go but I will ...

      I do really and truly believe the only thing to help me is photo of Mourhino

      Delete
    3. Look on the brightside Bells. if the Mayans are correct then Paul Mac will be obliterated too.

      Delete
    4. Well AH I (just) managed to tolerate watching Liverpools triumph but dear God, there were gratuitous shots of R*f* in there too - so now I am stuck with images of him whilst singing an All Stand together/Yellow submarine medley - it's more than a girl can stand

      Yep, H2 the imminent demise of Sir PAul is one plus about Friday

      Delete
    5. And here I was thinking that shot of a younger, fitter Rafa would cure you of your Mourinho fantasies.

      Delete
  80. Surely the world cannot end without a new Robbo blog up...

    ReplyDelete
  81. I hope the fuckin world does end.

    But read this first, FC Saarbr├╝cken and the 3rd German national team

    http://www.thehardtackle.com/2012/fc-saarbrucken-a-club-from-germany-that-won-the-french-2nd-division/

    ReplyDelete
  82. William Dampier was a bit of a character. First English man to visit Australia or new Holland as it was at the time. Sailed round the world 3 times and became famous as a pirate and botanist but was such a terrible ships captain..cruel and inept... that the guy Robinson crusoe was based on demanded to be marooned ....

    ReplyDelete
  83. America's attitude to gun control accepts the inevitability of mass shootings as the price of its own sense of identity ....life must be a fairytale....grim... Like this ...

    http://brynnachilds.com/post/124692846/how-children-played-butcher-with-eachother-a-folk

    ReplyDelete
  84. Back to football (sorry), and the CL draw promises some post Xmas crackers. Full draw below.
    Galatasaray v Schalke

    Celtic v Juventus

    Arsenal v Bayern Munich

    Shakhtar Donetsk v Borussia Dortmund

    AC Milan v Barcelona

    Real Madrid v Manchester United

    Valencia v Paris St Germain

    Porto v Malaga

    Tough draws for both the English clubs. Pick of the other ties is Milan v Barca.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  85. bit unlucky for us...only Barca was tougher than Bayern of the six potential opponents... ah well its still going to be a cracker, but only if Wenger buys big in january, dont like the thought of Arteta (great signing though he was, just not a DM) marking Der Shweinster or Gervinho trying to take on Lahm, or Ramsey doing...well anything.

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  86. Is it already the 21st in Australia ? Noel, are you still around or were the Mayans right ? How cool would it be if the world did end with me top of all 4 FFLs? That in itself is clear proof that nothing is going to happen, atleast not until Stephen overtakes me this game week.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Great draw, this could be Mourinho's final interview for Fergie's job. It's either him, Micky Adams or Doggie Froghead.

    And for those of you that give a shit, I made it to the final of our ESPN fantasy football league (NFL). 600 beans to the winner. Do I roll with Danny Amendola (Rams), Josh Gordon (Browns), Danario Alexander (Chargers), Lance Moore (Saints) whose teams are all out of the play-off picture or Julio Jones (Ravens) who at least has a meaningful game. The season is on the line!

    ReplyDelete
  88. correction : Jacoby Jones!! just shows how clued in I am, finger on the pulse of the NFL.

    ReplyDelete
  89. I do very much give a shit Trotts - not having seen any pictures of any of your team I am unsure whether I would roll with any of them to be honest. Now as for Mourhino ...

    AH - not even a toddler snap of R*f* could make me warm to him. Bad enough that we had to endure cameras panning to him during last nights match but then Mr BHB watched a film called Shoot Em Up and there was a baddie in it that looked like him too . The end of the world cannot come soon enough

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wasnt Monica Belluci really hot though?

      Delete
    2. It is a little known lie, sorry typo there, fact that she had extensive plastic surgery to look like me AH

      Delete
    3. i'm not sure if you're shallow or deep, Bells. This time of year we should call you Jingle.

      Delete
    4. makes me sound a bit like a pizza Trotts

      Delete
  90. Clash of the racists...LFC Vs Zenit..and by some miracle if we get through that, a trip to Dnipro possibly awaits. For a team with about 12 fit players above the age of 15 at any time, that is just a fantastic draw.

    ReplyDelete
  91. No worries about me moving back ahead of you, AH. Without 46 from Cazorla, I would have finished quite poorly. My midfield and attack should perform well (though the latter are on a run of poor form) while nearly all of my defenders (and keeper) are likely to cough up at least a couple this week.

    Cup opens this week, too. Fantastic time for an off day, especially given that my opponent appears not to have checked his team in weeks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isnt that just dandy? The week I have 4 of my regulars injured/suspended I play a really strong team. Distinct possibility of the leaving the cup in the first round.

      Delete
    2. In the Robbo H2H league I face a team out of Kiribati likely featuring seven of my starters. There are spies lurking on this board, never posting, but always ready to sniff out a way to edge ahead of us... What sayeth thee, Celine Milliot of Still No Froggies?

      Delete
    3. Well go ahead and gloat you two - some of us, well me at least, was pipped at the qualifying post by another 350,000+ teams to be eligible to even enter the Cup

      Delete
    4. Me too.

      Got the worst score ever last week so I'll be spared the disapointment of been knocked out in the first round again this year.

      Delete
  92. 8 minutes to Doomsday.

    After 11.11am you will be uploaded onto an advanced alien race's heritage computer program. These simulations are so lifelike that although you will no long exist your digital avatar will be so convincing that you will not notice any difference.

    Fortunately i have managed to hack into the software and 5 minutes from now I will be Global Dictator and Pot Vale will be on the way to European Cup Glory...

    ReplyDelete
  93. Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ah so on the last day - or not - of the world, maybe Mayans idea of April fool, we find out Bloggys real name is Ozymandias

      You will appreciate that, as with you and Bradfords FA cup history Bloggy, I in no way looked this up on Wiki

      Delete
  94. wow, it really is exactly the same as it was before.

    ReplyDelete
  95. "
    Fenerbahce's former Liverpool and Chelsea midfielder Raul Meireles is suspended for 11 games after being found guilty of spitting at a referee.

    Referee Halis Ozkahya accused Meireles of not only spitting at him as he challenged his red card against Galatasaray, but also directing a homosexual gesture in his direction - claims denied by the player."

    From the BBC Sportsday feed.

    -----

    Wonder if he and Suarez were twins separated at birth ..

    -

    James

    ReplyDelete
  96. It may not be end of world but it is end of my working year so probably will not be about for a bit.

    Robbo huge thanks as always for keeping up with the blogs, despite distinct lack of photos of Mourhino

    As for rest of you, you are a bunch of pisstaking reprobates but have kept me very amused as usual over the last few months and I look forward to Whelkoming in New year with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Jingle (if we're still here).

      Delete
    2. All the best to you and yours too, 'Bells.

      Delete
  97. ok, it's raining at the rate of 3" per hour, the winds have reached 200mph, it's gone dark, the roads are being swallowed and there are meteorite strikes all around. Not sure I'm gonna make the 11am appointment with the dentist.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Well it seems that those Mayans had the predictive powers of Mark Lawerenson, what a load of bollox.

    I ofcourse was taking no chances and hit the sauce heavily. Here’s a tip for you newlings; it may seem like a great idea to switch from lager to vodka at 3:45 in the morning, but it isn’t.

    ReplyDelete
  99. AC Milan are keen to sign Momo Sissoko from Juventus. The former Liverpool midfielder, 27, is reportedly unhappy at being left out of Juve's starting line-up in the last three games.
    Full story: Tuttosport (in Italian)

    Surely he shouldn't be that surprised considering he plays for PSG.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Maybe the Mayans predicted the rapture, rather than the end of the world. I'd certainly still be here, and I'm guessing the rest of you wouldn't be heading skyward anytime soon, either.

    Or maybe their calendar just resets. Nah, that'd be too easy an explanation.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Flash;

    http://www.101greatgoals.com/blog/golazo-of-the-year-futsal-superstar-falcao-scores-a-ridiculous-spinning-backheel-lob-free-kick/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brilliant! Cheers for that :D

      Delete
    2. Spectacular... good thing it was a friendly, though. Mind my conjures up images of Balotelli attempting something like that in a match, only to have Joey Barton run over and decapitate him.

      Delete
  102. Well aint that a big load of balls. Mayans you fucking dicks; left my job, spent all my money on drink, drugs and exotic strippers and basically burnt all my bridges. Adrian Mutu eat your heart out. Any jobs going?

    ReplyDelete
  103. yo Rod, welcome back stranger. Duchess Kate is interviewing babysitters.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Cheers Trotts, I'm pretty good with kids, being an award-winning piano teacher and all. Is everyone all set for xmas?

    ReplyDelete
  105. Yes rod can't wait for the new socks and giant fuckin toblerone

    ReplyDelete
  106. It's been a busy time in the world of the tonsorialist,so a brief pop in to wish you all a Merry Christmas.

    An old one for you as well,courtesy of RBA.

    Good luck to all your teams this weekend.

    Except you.

    You know who I mean.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Thanks Jacks. And a very Happy Xmas to you and your family.

    And the same to the rest of my digital pseudo pals. Bullshitting on here helps keep me sane and if you knew some of the people i work with you'd appreciate how tricky that gets at times......have a restful Xmas and if you're stateside ..try not to get shot

    ReplyDelete
  108. Thanks for the warm wishes and warning, Blogs. Out here in Utah, I believe it is required to bring guns into schools. Thankfully they are concealed weapons, so no one notices I'm not wearing one. At least, I hope they can't tell, anyway. Hanukkah in Utah must be like that in Britain, given that we make up less than 0.5% of the population in each, only we lack noticeable cultural representatives here. Meh.

    Merry Christmas to you latter-day Jews, a belated Happy Hanukkah to the up-to-date Jews, and, with a nod to Dave Barry, Happy Agnostic Children Aren't Sure Why They're Getting Presents Day to most of us. Oh, and a general "Happy January Transfer Window is Right Around the Corner" which should cover anyone I've left out.

    May all your fantasy football wishes come true, unless it would mean finishing ahead of me, in which case, not so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8LmMtScH3g

      Happy Holidays

      Delete
    2. Happy Holidays everyone, see you all next year!!

      Bloody hell, Downing's gone and gotten his first league goal. It must be Christmas .

      Delete