Monday, 14 January 2013

Pundits Never Fail

One of the great joys of being a football pundit is the ability to always be right regardless. Anyone whose occupation depends not upon predicting the future but on reassessing the past has a considerable advantage. As someone once said ‘Hindsight is a wonderful thing’. And as my mate Tony Thompson said “Fuck me that’s an easy job.”

I listened to the Arsenal-Man City game yesterday on the radio. Martin Keown was the expert summariser. Keown was part of a back four that Wenger inherited and was sensible enough not to tear apart. Lee Dixon was the pretty boy of that unit which tells you all you need to know about the rest of them.  They redefined the concept of ‘winning ugly’.

Since they left Wenger has proved that he picks centre-backs like he’s playing Deal or No Deal. There could be anyone in his box – Igor Stepanovs or Sol Campbell. Arsene just doesn’t quite know.

As a pundit Keown is pretty sure-footed. When Dzeko went down in the 10th minute there seemed to be some confusion as to why Mike Dean had blown his whistle. When the red card was shown there was consternation. Keown couldn’t see ‘much in it’. After the seventeenth replay, Martin conceded that there might have been a case for the penalty to be given (what, because Koscielny had Dzeko around the waist like he was measuring him for a pair of casual slacks you mean?).

Meanwhile that pillar of the BBC sport establishment – I said ‘pillar’ – Alan Hansen said he didn’t think it was a red card but if the referee is applying the strict letter of the law I suppose you could say that it should have been a red card. What kind of double-speak is this?

There was also that lovely phrase ‘the game was ruined as a spectacle’ – Man City beating their feeder club was always going to be spectacular was it? – as if Koscielny bore no part of the blame for the game becoming ten v eleven.
Back on the radio, Keown’s first reaction to the Kompany tackle was that it looked bad from here. But after another fifteen camera angles, it was proved to be a terrible decision by the referee who was already having a ‘mare as it was.

Peter Schmeichel – another of these pundits with an unblemished record in both football management and officiating (he’s never done either) – said that if Kompany’s challenge was a red card then there’s no point in making a tackle in football. Well fair enough. I wonder what you said at the time of the challenge. Cos everyone in our pub was saying he’s got to go, the dirty bugger.
To be fair, Kompany himself, a man who regularly rises above the slurry that passes for football comment these days, said he didn’t blame the ref for making a mistake.

Every game of footy has its pivotal moments and it’s much easier if they’re refereeing blunders. Easier to analyse. Easier to declare that injustice has been done. Easier to absolve the player of any blame.

No one seems to have had a pop at Koscielny for getting the wrong side of his man and hauling him to the ground like an amateur wrestler. It was bloody awful defending.
Nigel Adkins reached new levels of codswallop on Saturday following his team’s controversial win over the Villa Park 5th Cub Scouts.  http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21000076#asset

You might have to wade through a bit of cliché-ridden waffle before you get to the justification of Jay Rodriguez’s ridiculous dive. It really is the sort of self-serving utter bollocks that gives football managers a bad name.
Teammate Rickie Lambert thought it was a 'stonewall' penalty. Presumably when he was growing up in Kirkby Lambert's neighbours made their stone walls out of fuck-all. 

Paul Lambert says Mark Halsey will be embarrassed when he sees it back. Possibly. It’d be nice, just once, if the likes of Adkins and Lambert would wonder whether Jay Rodriquez might just carry a small burden of shame for his appalling plummet. I swear to God you could make a damn fine mime troupe out of the attacking players in the Premier League right now.
I’m sorry if this is becoming a familiar lament but why the hell can’t football be honest with itself instead of all this mealy-mouthed excusing and shrugging that goes on?
David Moyes said Fellaini behaved terribly the other week after nutting Ryan Shawcross, and everyone looked on open-mouthed as if he'd somehow broken the managerial sacrament on defending the players regardless of whether they've been patently dishonest or not. To be honest I was expecting the age-old 'well he's a physical player and if you take that edgeaway from him he's not [insert thuggish footballer's name]' argument.
So I've been trying to work out why I'm so down on the footy at the moment and you know what -  I blame the Olympics.
How dare all those athletes compete so fairly, honestly and movingly? It's like they were trying to say that quiet and dignified preparation and a respect for your sport and your fellow competitors is all part of some sort of ideal. And that it is possible to win things without resorting to deceit, rule-bending and playground banter.
But that just doesn't make sense. I've been watching footy for getting on for forty years and in the last twenty I know that while being good and honest and respecting the officials is all well and good, in practice it won't get you very far. I mean to be frank that attitude is what your modern footballer would call 'unprofessional'.
So yes, well done London 2012. It was lovely, like a beautiful dream. A kind of sporting Shangri-La if you will. But we're back to reality now: managers struck by temporary blindness; pundits prattling on in sanctimonious fashion; and if we're not careful officials cowering in their dressing-rooms. It's great value though boys and girls... just £62 a pop.

196 comments:

  1. first?

    --
    BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
  2. let me first go to the old blog and tell H that the new blog's up, reading the new one before doing that is sacrilege

    --BeeZee

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  3. good stuff Robbo, it is indeed a decline, it's long and slow and never ending!

    ReplyDelete
  4. So in your local does everyone sit around listening to the radio?


    Surely you're either listening to the game on the radio, or everyone in the pub "was saying he has to go, the dirty bugger."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or you listen to the game on the radio live and at the time and watch MOTD in the pub later on.

      Delete
    2. Thank you Jacks for covering that apparent discrepancy.

      Delete
  5. London Olympians some good, many just cheating scum who make Suarez look like

    117 failed drug tests in the run up to the games and then there ate those persil white paragons of cheating scumdom

    Alexandre Vinokourov cycling
    Svetlana Podobedova weightlifting manwoman
    Aliaksandra Herasimenia, swimmer
    Tatyana Lysenko
    Alptekin
    Drain Chambers
    David Millar
    Nadezhda Ostapchuk (shot put)
    Asli Cakir Alptekin, 1500 m gold ( served a two-year ban for using EPO in 2004.. Tatyana Tomashova served a two-year ban in 2008 for ‘fraudulent substitution of urine’ finishing 4th)

    And they're just a sample of the ones we know about

    And don't get me started on cricket touch it no i never, tennis you cannot be serious...cheats, liars, scum, murderers, rapists, nazis ever man jack and Jill of them.

    Football relatively clean ny comparison.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

      Drug taking.

      I love smoking a doob before jumping on the old bike (haha no puns intended). Drug abuse is sooooo under-rated.

      Fuck. One of my funniest memories is watching `Pretty in Pink`after a cup of magic mushy tea.

      I vote for a hallucinogenic olympics.

      Btw Robbo. I have written e-mails to The guardian and The Telegraph urging them to employ your services. Always a great read.

      Trotts. Pride cometh before a Timothy Spall. Good luck on Wednesday and may your Ivanovic never shine.

      Delete
    2. Robbo in the Torygraph? It'd be like Abu Hamza writing in the Jewish Chronicle, mind you it would be very much a hands-on column!

      Spider

      Delete
  6. Meant to say they make Suarez look like caesars wife although if he did, terry would try to shag him

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  7. http://www.givemefootball.com/324648-how-clean-is-your-premier-league-club Found this gem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rodents at Old Toilet?

      Who'da thought it? ;)

      Delete
  8. Good stuff RR.

    Koscielny's "tackle" yesterday was terrible and he deserved to go, Mike Dean got that one right, not much else though, he was as bad as our defending.

    Kos has been widely lamented in the Goonerverse, the blame laid firmly at his door and that of the manager who made, let's say, some interesting changes to the team. Diaby shouldn't of been on the pitch, leaving Mertesacker on the bench was a mistake (soon rectified because of Kos') and the decision to cater to Feo's ego by playing him in his prefered position has to be rectified. NO THEO, you are not a CF, you are a winger and not a very good one either, definetly not a 100k a week one anyway.

    Point of note, the feeder club hadn't lost to Citeh in the league since 1975, not saying that we would of won with a full team, but it was not a foregone conclusion that we would lose either.

    I've had it with most of the pundits, nowadays I record MotD, watch the footy and FF the rest, don't even listen to the managers most of the time either. I did however have the pleasure of listening to GNev on a streamed game (COCup I believe) he was really good, articulate and extreamly knoweledgable, puts the others to shame.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *hadn't lost at home in the league

      Delete
    2. From previous blog -
      Why the heck was Koscielny playing instead of Mertesacker anyway? The german has been pretty decent of late.

      Delete
    3. If I had to guess I'd say it was probly because of the speed of the City strikers, Kos and TV are (supposedly) more mobile then the large German chap.

      Wenger did the same thing for the game against Chelsea......... It backfired then too.

      Delete
    4. I FF the blather n'all H. PRd beyond the remotest interest most of it. At the BBC end mostly just witless bullshit

      I also watch some of the games at x6 and think of benny hill

      Delete
    5. H2H, When you wrote "THEO, you are not a CF" did you mean to write, "THEO, you are a FC" ?

      Spider

      Delete
  9. Why does Robbo always sound crankiest when he's dead-on right?

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  10. As for officials, full marks to the little lady at Stoke, who got 2 narrow offside decisions spot on, even overturning Marriners whistle for pen, no comment from TP

    BTW, did Bloggy mention that Vale are still top?

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  11. Vale fans are just glory whores these days!

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  12. I'm checking the table on an hourly basis lads and I can confirm that last time I checked we were still top and still solvent.

    Expect regular updates

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  13. 11.30 of Ye clock and alls well at the top of league 2

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nice one Robbo but its not difficult show your studs in a tackle Yellow card,show both sets at once ie,2 feet off the ground staight red ,ref dead right,frivolous appeal extra game ban for Kompany
    Del

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  15. I thought the Glory Whores was a band made up of Man City fringe players...

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  16. There's a decent piece in this month's When Saturday Comes about the poor state of punditry on tv/radio.Personally I'd have MOTD without any of them.Just show the games,here's the league tables.Good night.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exclude Gary Neville from the general criticism. When he first started I thought, "Oh no, not that whiney MU twat." However, I must now admit that he talks more sense and has more insight that the rest of them put together. I could not believe the commentary on the Arsenal-Citeh game concerning the Dzeko-Koscielny incident. Even I could see that the latter had rugby tackled the former but the numpties on Sky missed it completely. "Why has Mike Dean given a penalty?" they bleated. Because he was hauled to the ground you blind fekwits!!!! Kenneth Wolstenholme must be turning in his grave.

      Spider

      Delete
  17. Good blog, Robbo, but the Fuckwittery Prize for utter stupidity this week goes to Professional Games Match Officials Limited, who have given a one game ban to the linesman who told Lescott to thank the City supporters who paid £62 a ticket.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/official-who-urged-lescott-to-applaud-62-city-fans-axed-from-fa-cup-duty-8451583.html


    Jedi

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    Replies
    1. Wasnt really a ban , though I think the rationale could still take a looking at -

      "A spokesman for the organisation that manages referees, PGMOL, said the decision to withdraw him had been taken in anticipation of the pressure of media interest in him following his comments"

      Delete
    2. That really does take the biscuit. Idiots. PLayers get to swear themselves into oblivion at the officials and yet when one makes a valid point in return.... Arggggghhhh!

      Delete
  18. Hmmmm just as I suspected

    League Two table: 2012-13

    Pos. P W D L GF GA W D L GF GA GD Pts
    1 Port Vale 27 6 4 3 30 15 9 3 2 26 15 26 52

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bloody hell, Bells! Wonder why Blogs didn't tell us about this!


      Jedi

      Delete
    2. I can only imagine its because he is one of the more shy and retiring types one here.

      There would be others who would give us daily, maybe even hourly updates on the success of their club

      Delete
  19. May be, just maybe, everyone always have been cheating but now coz of the technology (available to us all BUT those making the decisions in the game) has developed for us to have a look at everything thats being done wrong in quite detail?

    Why the fuck cant the refs have a look at the video after any controversial thing? the game is always at a standstill with bickering players harassing the ref anyway?

    Koscielny penalty and red card, stone-walled.
    Dean got a shite load wrong after that, including not carding Dzecko for at least 7 fouls.
    Kompany Red: also justified. Two footed lunge to go for a 50/50. Red all day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Kompany tackle was almost identical to the one that got Shelvey sent off against Utd at Anfield. Personally I dont think either one should've been red but at least they're consistent.

      Delete
    2. I won't argue with that AH, but Shelvey was a red card waiting to happen that day. It was his third or fourth big lunge when he got sent off - I suspect someone had got him a bit too wound up before the game started. He went down a lot in my estimation after that game - I used to think he was quite a decent player, but now I am not too sure - it looks like he is too easy to wind up.

      Delete
    3. He was quite a decent player mostly in comparison to others around him.

      in other news, soon after being accused of consistency, they have rescinded his red card.

      Delete
    4. Of course, you can't have something sensible coming out of the FA now can you? What would we have to talk about!

      Delete
  20. Footy is populated by intellectually challenged ne'er do well gobshites, and don't get me started on the players. All this talk of whores reminded me of a rather fine curry recipe a mate sent me. It's blindingly good, so, for all you would-be Jamies out there...

    Brown yer chicken in an old whore. Remove from condom.

    stick lemon grass
    knob of ginger - big one, think Ron Jeremy
    3 cloves of garlic
    handful of coriander
    a chilli - red and throbbing
    some oil

    whiz it up in a blender until it's a paste type consistency. Add slurp of soy or fish sauce, some lime zest and four fresh ripe tomatoes.

    Blitz again in blender.

    Fry in a little oil until the oil starts to separate, then add a tin of coconut milk. Simmer for about 20 minutes then put your browned meat back in, add some lime juice, incant some Druid solstice bollocks and sprinkle with coriander and spangle dust just before serving with a plate of chips and some lamb coulée.

    Dance the fandango.

    pour into ice lolly moulds freeze and eat at your leisure while watching porn.

    Jamie Cuntiver

    ReplyDelete
  21. Swansea City complete the signing of Belgium international Roland Lamah on an 18 month loan deal from Osasuna.
    ---------------------------------
    Swansea sign someone unheard of from Spain for 2 mil? Time to have him join my FFL team then.

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  22. I believe Moyes may have talked himself out of a top job in the PL w/his Fellaini comments. When you look at someone like SAF blaming refs for everything from blown offside calls to climate change, or Mancini's double-talk about players never playing for his club again (until he realizes they're crap w/o them), you realize a pretty straight shooter like Moyes isn't going to do enough to protect (read: coddle) his star players. Then again, he's probably off to Germany...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, but most of the time SAF's rants serve to deflect attention away from his team's poor performance or his errors in team selection/tactics.

      Spider

      Delete
    2. Yes, there is that element of shrewd calculation to it all. We are all mere pawns in his game, lol...

      Delete
  23. jonjo shelvey buys a hoover.

    i dont know. i despair....

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2238730/Liverpools-Jonjo-Shelvey-buys-hoover-Comet.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought he sucked enough as it was.

      Delete
    2. Wow, stop the press'

      What a scoop.

      Delete
  24. 12.30 of Ye clock and alls well.

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  25. Strachan the Saddle Again

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21023913

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  26. When Jonjo Shelvey lands his spaceship in Anfield's car park does it take up all the spaces?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Make fun of Shelvey all you want but no scouser is knicking his hubcaps anytime soon...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do spaceships have hubcaps? ;)

      Delete
    2. hence the lack of any knicking by the fellow scousemen.....

      Delete
  28. So Kompany is allowed to tackle with as many feet as he wants but others are not? Interesting.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, but otherwise, defenders are only allowed to challenge with three feet. (Use of a meter instead of a yard is a card-worthy offense.)

      Delete
  29. Kompany's card recinded. Not sure what I think of that.

    I know he's not a malicous player, but it still looked like a two legged lunge to me;

    http://cadfael.tv/image/src/1358098627491.gif

    To punish the assistant for pointing out to a player that he should acknoweledge the fans is just totaly fucking ridiculous.

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  30. I see the mkighty Bolton Trot on in the FA Cup.

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  31. yeah, there's only one Donny Frogblood.

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  32. trott we're the glory hounds now

    ReplyDelete
  33. Just caught the news on BBC and I see that Tesco have misunderstood the old saying "horses for courses."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be fair to them, "hamburgers" is an anagram of "shergar bum".

      Delete
    2. theyve also found bits of horse hidden in tesco cheese - mascarpone

      Delete
  34. Once asked to name his ultimate opponent on the oche, Taylor divulged a desire, and I promise I am not making this up, to face Jesus Christ. “I’d love to meet Jesus,” he said. “I’d go back to those days. I’d be in awe.” And would they cross arrows, did he suppose? “Yeah, if possible.” It was quite a claim by somebody who had previously identified his trickiest adversary as Dennis “the Menace” Priestley.
    At least Taylor had the decency to admit that in his dream duel with Jesus, he would most likely lose to a competitor able to turn water into wine.
    ___________

    darts pundits eh? It's surely wrong to assume that jesus would be good at darts. and "cross arrows" is that a pun? terrible stuff tho i would like to see jesus vs dennis the menace ...meeting the winner of Anubis and lord snooty in the Lakeside Deities vs Beano Characters World championship Darts Final

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His best opponent was Denis Priest-ly.

      He wants to play Jesus.

      Maybe he should just settle for a round against Craig Pope!?

      http://www.dartsdatabase.co.uk/PlayerDetails.aspx?playerKey=13129

      Delete
  35. and yes darts is a sport and so is jaffa cakes

    ReplyDelete
  36. no it's not, darts is a game! Hunting Jaffa cakes on a bike and throwing darts at 'em when you find 'em, while trying to unsaddle your adversary, is a sport!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So basically, what you guys are saying, is darts is not a biscuit?

      Delete
    2. there we go, H, that was a piece of cake.

      Delete
    3. wait... biscuit or cake? or cookie?

      Delete
  37. Guardiola to become Bayern boss
    -----------------------

    Rafa happier to hear that than anyone in Munich.

    ReplyDelete
  38. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2263416/Pep-Guardiola-agrees-Bayern-Munich-deal.html

    Does this mean the Chavs are stuck with Rafa?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No Chelsea and Real will be swapping managers at the end of the season

      Delete
  39. Replies
    1. Personally I think Jose will come in to replace rafa

      Delete
    2. I was typing that you psychic plagiarist

      Delete
    3. *Somewhere in London 'Bells explodes with delight.*

      Delete
  40. No chance the Chavs are stuck with Rafa. Everyone knows how fast Roman fires managers (especially "interim" managers). Ees a fackt.

    City must be gutted about Guardiola, having brought (bought?) in half the backroom staff at the Nou Camp.


    Jedi

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  41. I'm not so sure that Maureen's massive ego would allow him to return to the Bridge.

    Ofcourse an extorianatly large chunk of change may prove me wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Pep's off to Bayern. Official.

    I'm laughing my ass off at Abramovich now .... all that money and the guy he really wants has gone elsewhere ....so satisfying. :)

    -

    James.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Hmmm... Mourinho to Chelsea will work. Until it doesn't. Then Abramovich will sign Pep from Bayern for 15 million in the currency of their choice. Then he will fire Pep and begin the process of hiring the manager of the most recent Champs League winner. This will work until Chelsea win the Champs League again, causing... oh wait... no they won't. Never mind.

    Just a bit confused, though bc I thought Pep wanted to go to England. Or did he mean he wanted to go somewhere that managed money the way England plays football: very conservatively due to relative lack of resources?

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hammers boss Sam Allardyce said: "I'm going to look at the squad, the system. I might tinkle with the system.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20955078

    Guess they're going to play a 4-Pee-Pee...

    ReplyDelete
  45. So not only do Chelsea decline to win, but everyone around me not only had Mata as captain (I chose Luiz), but countered my Lambert with a Lambert/Puncheon combo. Looks like I may fall to fifth overall, though I will pick up a pair of H2H wins to avoid falling further behind.

    Maybe I can convince Pep to manage my fantasy team for the rest of the season...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its only the captain that decides games nowadays, everyone has more or less the same players.

      Delete
  46. Couple of interesting things on the BBC Sport website.

    I can't seem to find anywhere yesterday's piece about Pep Guardiola wanting to come to manage in England.

    Plus Big Sam complaining about Un**ed getting the rub of the green at Old Trafford.Surely he can't be complaining AGAINST Fergie?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I noticed the Big Sam comments on refereeing at OT myself and was waiting for SAF's riposte, but nothing so far.

      Delete
  47. Good week FFL-wise. Having fallen from 1st to 6th last week, back to occupying top spot in both H2Hs and second place in both classic leagues.

    ReplyDelete
  48. You know what H2, I am having heart palpitations at the merest notion Jose Mmmmmmmourinho might return. I may be wrong - it has happened in the past though I rarely admit it to Mr BHB - but I think he would come back, its more a question whether Abramovich would let his pride get in the way of having him back.

    As long as we don't get lumbered with R*f* for rest of season, I do think it is quite funny that Guardiola buggered off to Bayern. Even if we had got him, how long would he have lasted if he didn't win every trophy under the Sun within the first two weeks he was in charge.

    I am off to the football church to pray to the football God for the return of Mr Mourinho. On subject of which, isn't it about time we had photo of him on here Robbbo?

    ReplyDelete
  49. ** sorry meant lumbered with R*f* PAST the rest of season

    ReplyDelete
  50. oi robbo what happened to pics of naked women?

    bhb i think you might have to make do with that pic of trott for now. a small leap nay tiny step of the imagination, squinny the eyes and pucker up and trott can be mourinho and you can be that golf trophy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ive looked everywhere on the web and cant find pics of naked women anywhere.

      Delete
    2. I've looked everywhere on the net and can't find any trophies at Portman Road either.

      Still top Blogidy?

      Delete
    3. Hey, I won a much bigger trophy in September, Blog. Fuckin' huge it is in comparison to the miniature claret jug. Can safely say that I have a bigger one than Mourinho, at least until Champs League Final in May.

      Delete
    4. Well Bloggy, I have brought in my 3D glasses and after quick a bottle of vino, Strike me dead, as I live and breathe - I am finding it very hard to tell the difference the two of them

      Delete
  51. All's well Jack. Until Saturday. As for me I'm illicitly blogging from the fracture clinic in colchester hospital. Small matter of a career ending injury.

    Tread Carefully there trotts Bells has powers of arrest

    ReplyDelete
  52. Screams all around me. Dr De'Ath I believe?

    ReplyDelete
  53. Staff here look like extras from Lord of the Rings

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  54. Just seen Suarez admitted "going down easily" (no jokes about what Mrs Suarez thinks of that, please) and Brendan Rogers is furious.... Furious that he went down or furious that he told people about it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oops, didn't see you there, AH.

      OR

      I was typing that you psychic plagiarist

      Delete
    2. Great minds think alike, AH (the original form of psychic plagiarism).

      Delete
    3. Or alternately, Fools seldom differ, but I like what you said.

      Delete
  55. Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has described Luis Suarez's admission of diving as "unacceptable" and said the Uruguayan forward would be "dealt with internally".
    ====================================
    Surely he said that diving was unacceptable and not the admission. Or did he ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doubtful.

      Diving wins matches; your manager can claim he missed the tackle because a butterfly landed on his nose at just that particular moment and that he didn't see a replay because another butterfly flew past right then and oh look a squirrel!

      Admitting diving means you cheated.

      Delete
    2. Stephen

      You should stop listening to Wenger's press conferences.


      Jedi


      Delete
  56. well, based on Stevie G's theatrical history, it's only the admission that represents a problem.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GKXAKQY-0Y

    ReplyDelete
  57. I think the real problem is that Pulis had a go at Suarez after the (Stoke) game where he dived (the one he's now admitting to), and Rodgers publicly said it was unfair, etc. So now Suarez has admitted it, Rodgers looks a bit of a dick (no change there).


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  58. Suarez can't win. Deny diving, everyone is angry that he denies it. Admit to diving (or falling, or whatever), and everyone is angry he admits to diving.

    We claim to be angry that he's diving, regardless of an admission of guilt, but if our beloved club needed a goal deep into Fergie time to (insert achievement here), few of us would complain if we won a questionable penalty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would. Don't want my team to win owt by cheating (should be safe for a while).

      Delete
    2. Fine, I'll stick with my compromised morals.

      I still find it difficult to believe you'd rather the Trotters miss out on promotion than get there on the back of a Davies (or take your pick) dive. Or think of it the other way: dive in the box or dive into League 1?

      Delete
    3. well, as we got relegated on a Crouch dive there'd be some justice there. It'd be better to get promoted on the strength of a Blackburn own goal though.

      On the other hand, we got some points, I recall, when some fucker handled on the line to prevent a goal and the ref never saw it, so our relegation was deserved on the strength of that, or, was it just an instinctive reaction? Did the ball bounce up on to his hand? Do these things all even out over the course of the season? It's not that important really, just that at the time I watch a match I prefer the team that cheats to lose. And if I remember them cheating from the week before, I'll want 'em to lose again! I'd like retrospective bans of a minimum of 5 games, instant video ref and goal line technology but what I want doesn't matter.

      I have more important concerns, like picking up dog shit, driving the kids all over creation and earning a crust! Not sure if life has reduced the importance of football or if fotball has done it? Probably a bit of both.

      Delete
  59. A female weightlifter goes to doctor and complains: "I've been taking
    steroids and seem to have grown a cock"

    "Anabolic?" asks the Dr

    "No, just a cock" says the woman

    ReplyDelete
  60. Just checked my tesco burgers in the fridge aaaaannndddd they're off!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was a dam funny joke, sire. Your wit never foals to stirrup a laugh or two. But I'm no expert; neigh, I leave that to Trotts.

      Delete
    2. I was ill after eating a Tescos burger, went to the doctor and he said you should watch what you eat, so I am to the races at Ascot this afternoon

      Delete
    3. Hopefully your condition is stable bells.

      Delete
    4. I went for a burger last night.

      Chap serving me asked what I wanted on it,so I said a fiver each way.

      Delete
    5. A spokesman for Tesco said earlier today "the entire firm is shocked by this discovery and I can announce that there is to be an urgent investigation to discover how meat found it's way into Tesco burgers"

      Delete
  61. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21079956

    Southampton offer Nigel Adkins the Spanish Archer.

    Strange decision,maybe they could do Bells a favour and offer R*f* the job.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Southampton have sacked Nigel Adkins.

    Why the f*ck did they do that, when he was clearly making good progress?


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See also Twats, Complete


      Jedi

      Delete
    2. Maybe they weren't impressed with the away draw at Stamford Bridge, I mean any manager seems to be able to do that or better!

      Delete
  63. Perhaps a little late,but one for Bells.


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDKcvX-kfTY&NR=1

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice one Jacks ! Mr BHB will appreciate that too

      Delete
  64. Adkins sacked?? WTF??

    Un-fuckin-believable.

    First he takes them from nowhere to the PL and then after a shaky start in the top flight, which is only natural, he steadies the ship and gets them out of the relegation aream only to get the tin tack.,

    Shame on you Saints board.

    ReplyDelete
  65. I know right and then they replace him with someone who's only achievement is conceding a penalty in the 2002 world cup against england and who left Espanyol bottom of la Liga when he was sacked in November.

    Had the feeling Cortese has been itching to sack Adkins since the start of the season but given the run of form they are on this is even stupider than the soap opera that has become Blackburn Rovers.

    It is worse than when Boro sacked Southgate when they were one point off the top and appointing Strachan who sent them tumbling towards the bottom of the table.

    Relegation will follow this which is annoying as I had Reading, QPR and Villa as my faves to get relegated

    ReplyDelete
  66. I know it's not relevant Adam,but I would suggest Michael Owen "won" that penalty in 2002.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. possibly but that's his most notable event in football and it is a ridculous decision on a par with anyone appointing Paul Jewell or Mark Hughes really

      Delete
  67. completely baffling ...

    soton have lost two of the last 12 games and drew with chelsea from 2-0 down

    compare punchinello or pinnocio or whatever the geezers name is he's just been sacked by struggling espanyol after a 0–2 home loss against Getafe CF that left them in last place with just nine points from 13 matches

    ReplyDelete
  68. The footballing world has gone completely bonkers. ridiculous. Venkys would be feeling most aggrieved. If this had happened a week ago, they could've had him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's alright Michael Appleton will leave in 12 weeks when he's bored and there is just enough time for them to win every game and miss the playoffs on goal difference

      Delete
    2. AH, I thought for a minute you meant Venkys would be aggrieved because someone had managed to do something even more stupid than them.
      This might be but they have a long term fuckwittery record to be very proud of.


      Jedi

      Delete
    3. The numpties at Southampton missed a trick, they could have claimed they sacked Adkins because his "defence" of the dive for Saturday's penalty brought the club into disrepute (see Robbo's comment above) - except that no-one would have believed them! Obviously had this Pinnochio geezer lined up and were going to use the drubbing at Chelski as the excuse but Chelski screwed it up. I am sure Nigel Adkins will get another job but it has to be at a club beginning with "S" - Sheffield Wednesday/United or Saston Villa.

      Spider

      Delete
  69. Theo Walcott agrees a new three-and-a-half year contract with Arsenal worth £100,000 a week, BBC Sport's David Ornstein confirms.

    He is expected to sign the deal later this afternoon.
    ========================
    Glad he's done the right thing. Now Arsene can get back to playing him on the wing where he does best.

    ReplyDelete
  70. And he can go back to being "consistant in patches".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Still beats what he was till last season, which was consistently patchy.

      Watched the swansea game and he seemed to be taking most of the free kicks and corners as well. Has this been happening for a while now ?

      Delete
    2. AH, he obviously thinks he's Roy of the Rovers, apart from scoring 10 goals a game (more like 1 goal in 10 games). From what I saw of the game, his attempts at goal were making Giroud look like Gert Muller.

      Spider

      Delete
  71. The Football Association has agreed a deal under which Wembley will be renamed to include the mention of its new sponsor, the mobile phone provider EE.
    Full story: Daily Telegraph
    --
    WemblEE?

    ReplyDelete
  72. *Sorry my reply button not working*

    Theo is a legend in his own mind. A guy who's famous for being famous without really doing anything of note, except for being picked for a WC at way too young an age in which he didn't play anyway.

    I don't mind if he takes corners or indirect free kicks, but he should fuck off when it comes to direct free kicks with chances on goal, we have way better options to take those.

    If we play a 4 4 2, then he can go through the middle or if we're up against "Lesser" teams then he can thrive, but to be brutally honest there aren't many lesser teams in the PL anymore.

    All the pressure will be on him now to do the business, I'm sceptical at best, but hope to be proved wrong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. H2H. I had a similar problem with the reply button a few days ago but after I rebooted my PC it was back to normal. I think we're all frustrated with Feo because his ego's writing cheques his ability can't honour. Feo should only take free kicks if Cazorla and Arteta are off the pitch. (You might suggest others as well!)

      Spider

      Delete
    2. As if by magic it works again. (the reply button, not Feo)

      Delete
  73. there'll be an Argentine/Spanish invasion at Southampton in the next two weeks. We need a bloke named Drake to get down there and prepare the ships.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Zola to Chelsea?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21085246

    This is not good. Zola is the reason I started following Chelsea. But he already flopped as a Premier League manager, albeit with a less-talented side. To have the Roman Shambles burning around him would be terrible. We've already tried a former player and look how that worked out. Oh, wait... Champions League title, FA Cup... and a sacking at the first semiquaver. Little grace in that one. So in comes Zola, in comes the silverware, then out goes Zola, in comes Guardiola?

    But do we really want to risk alienating a fan favorite through some combination of managerial success, failure, and inevitable ugly termination?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've done it before, even pre Abromobitch, so why7 not again.

      Delete
    2. Fair enough. Worth it for the trophies.

      Delete
  75. I've read up on punchinello and I've changed my mind. Really interesting appointment ...risky...he no speaka de inglis ... but could take soton forward. Football is brutally unsentimental and darwinian.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Valdes to leave Barcelona and Casillas possibly on his way out of Real Madrid

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/soccer/news/20130118/barcelona-victor-valdes/?sct=sc_t11_a1

    Valdes said "I'm not ruling out trying different cultures and a different type of football," so maybe Port Vale have something to offer if they get promoted?

    Or do QPR or Tottenham sign both?

    ReplyDelete
  77. Bet this guy could handle the Chelsea hot seat.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21092031

    ReplyDelete
  78. Bullying shithead Armstrong does deserve the sporting death sentence he wished on his rivals

    did he ever even have cancer?

    Is his name really Lance?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His surname isn't Armstrong.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lance_Armstrong

      Delete
  79. Blimey if you want your kid to be a top cyclist ...Armstrong.. Wiggo...cav ..get divorced


    Clough on pundits...spot on as always...tells motson ...you're boring...shut up and show more football

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqAZsoF-ghw

    ReplyDelete
  80. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-21098006

    Footballer in doing something decent shock.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whoa... footballer using Twitter to help do something decent...

      Maybe in their racial sensitivity training they can have charity awareness training, too. There are already charities that do what Rangel did, so if he wants to keep it up, maybe he can help them out in a more coordinated effort. Not to say what he did wasn't great, just that he can now make even more of a difference as part of a team.

      Delete
  81. Big Sam: "I will look at how many gloves and undergarments are on somebody's peg and think if they really want to run around. But in the olden days my managers would refuse me a long sleeved shirt on days like today!"

    I don't understand why it is looked down upon for footballers to wear gloves or long sleeves. (Still in favor of the snood ban.) Here in Utah we've had many days this winter where it didn't rise above 0F (-18C) and some where we've spent much of the day around -15F (-26C). I don't remember the last day we had above freezing and there has been between a few inches and a couple feet on snow on the ground for more than a month. (It is often so cold that your nose hair freezes before you can even breathe in.) If they're more comfortable in more clothing and they play better that way, great. Why deny a South American or an African (or anyone else) a little warmth if he grew up somewhere that winter meant wearing a t-shirt and maybe a light jacket? Is he less of a man because he wants his extremities intact? Not less than he'd be if they froze and fell off...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it was shirts v skins and bare feet even in a blizzard when Sam was a lad and only the Queen wore gloves.

      Delete
    2. At least the Queen didn't only wear gloves.

      Delete
  82. BLOGGY

    2nd week on top, looking good and even a date with live SKY on thursaday

    ReplyDelete
  83. Okay. maybe sturridge wasnt as bad a buy as I had claimed. I'm willing to admit there might be a slight possibility that Rodgers knows more about managing than I do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Norwich concede 10 goals in the 2 games this season to liverpool. I hope they dont get relegated.

      Delete
  84. onto important stuff, who's gonna make the superbowl? I have to set my team with no more changes, in the Gridiron play-off challenge! Niners and Pats?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Baltimore Colts v LA Rams

      Delete
    2. well Stephen, you're no help at all, two teams that went the way of the dodo!

      Delete
  85. Replies
    1. yer all useless, leaving me afloat in the vague mists of NFL playoff prediction insignificance.

      Delete
    2. Whats a NFL playoff?

      In fact what's a NFL.

      Delete
  86. Tone - I was fairly confident we'd still be top until next week!

    ReplyDelete
  87. Looking forwards to the Yorkshire legs of the tour de France

    Now. What are the odds of the Paris Dakar rally starting in Burslem ¿

    ReplyDelete
  88. Southampton's Pocketgenie: rub your chairman's wallet and out he comes

    ReplyDelete
  89. Contract signed feo back to normal

    29 min BREAKING: Theo Walcott is playing. Just saw him in the corner of my screen shivering on the right wing.

    Btw there can't be anyone left alive bar Roman who thinks Torres - who's head incidentally now resembles a tennis ball dredged out the canal-is better than BA?

    ReplyDelete
  90. Walcott back to not normal again

    ReplyDelete
  91. RIP Earl Weaver

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kl-4FSRYagc

    Not sure if that's how he'd like to be remembered, but this sure puts Fergie's recent harangue in perspective. Maybe he'd like the next one a little better. Either way, he was a colorful man and manager.

    http://mlb.si.com/2013/01/19/pint-sized-earl-weaver-a-giant-among-managers-passes-away/?sct=hp_t2_a6&eref=sihp

    (Also Musial. Not a good day for baseball legends. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/mlb/news/20130119/obit-stan-musial.ap/?sct=hp_t2_a3&eref=sihp)

    ReplyDelete
  92. To use a worn out footy cliche, that (Chav v Arse) was a game of two halves. We didn't turn up for the first and the Chavs crushed us. We outplayed them in the second but were unable to pull back the 2 goal deficit we gifted them.

    Ramirez got the man of the match award, I can only assume that it was for his ability for getting away with murder.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Odd that Southampton managed to outplay us in the second half to claw back a two goal deficit. Does this mean Southampton are better than Arsenal? Or does it mean Chelsea are maddeningly inconsistent?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. H2H, that means you have no future in punidtry. C'mon, you can do better than that.

      Delete
  94. BLOGGY
    told the wife I'll promise to take her out to the Yorkshire Dales for the day on July 5th 2014

    ReplyDelete
  95. Did you guys see the assasination attempt in Sofia yesterday, check out the video, it's in dutch, but the images speak for themselves;

    http://www.nrc.nl/nieuws/2013/01/19/europarlementarier-van-baalen-getuige-van-mislukte-moordaanslag/

    ReplyDelete
  96. I think Ramires should get of got a Bafta award as opposed to Man of Match H2 - and what is point of getting Man of Match if you don't drink? I think you may have Mr BHB to thank for turn around in yesterdays game. He said at half time 'This is some of best football I have seen Chelsea play in a while' (Tosser not included obv) and then look what happened ...

    ReplyDelete
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