Monday, 21 January 2013

The Barcode Blues

When I tipped Newcastle United to finish fourth this season, I was drunk. I must have been. (It was after 9 o'clock.)

I also didn't realise that the likes of Cabaye and Ben Arfa would be spending a lot of time on their sofas. Furthermore I didn't think for a second that Papiss Cisse would be a carbon copy of the end of last season but in negative. Indeed, seen in negative Papiss Cisse would look like a white-faced loon with the finishing instincts of a badger in sponge boots - or, as he is better known, Fernando Torres.

It's ironic in these days of short-term, interim, wing-and-a-prayer managers that Newcastle should so stink when their boss is on an eight-year contract. Despite the Geordie bottlers evident success last season I couldn't find many of 'em who were pleased with Pardew getting such apparent job security.

I'll be honest, we north-easterners (loth as I am to lumping us all together) divn tek kindly to some southern jessie gannin up here and tellin' us what footy's aboot, like. NEVER forget this a HOTBED of football. South Shields is England's Copacabana Beach, right? The Wallsend Boys Club has a  cloning machine that's guaranteed to produce twinkle-toed talents with terrible haircuts.

A cockney barrow boy with passable good looks is not what we want up here. We want a bloke who looks like he walks into lampposts every week, and sounds like he enjoys doing so, especially if he's 'taking one for the team'.

Of course the Barcodes are doubly damned cos they've got a Fat Del Boy made good as their chairman. The Managing Director Derek Llambias isn't exactly whole-heartedly embraced by the Toon Faithful, unless it's to squeeze the bleeding life out of him.

The fact that Llambias, Ashley and Pardew are firm friends does make it look like the cast of some two-bit Guy Ritchie gangster flick have descended on Tyneside and turned St. James's Park into their own little piece of Larndon Tarn. The eight-year contract reeks more of good mates helping each other out than sound football and business sense.

In short, Pardew's going to have to work a lot bloody harder than, say, Sir Bobby Robson, to win the fans over. Unlike Sir Bobby, he's got a board who'll back him. And to be fair, a very good season behind him. Hence my inebriate optimism at the beginning of the season (laced, possibly, with the hope of my pundit's curse).

Under the likes of Freddie Shepherd the Reading defeat might of signalled the end.  Certainly Reading are this year's 'plucky' losers. Any point gained gets a patronising pat on the back, like the team have just managed to write its own name or wipe its own arse. McDermott insists he's not under pressure and his team are proving it.

Meanwhile Tyneside confidence is going to be low when a team like Reading's equaliser is swept in off the body of a forward imitating a penguin returning to the icefloe. Newcastle are in a desperate need of a pick-me-up and a decent French right-back is not the tonic they need. The lack of Demba Ba and the continuing misfiring of Cisse could well spell trouble. If Shearer's in charge with ten games to go the game's up my Geordie friends. (Okay, friend, singular.)

Of course, vying for the tag of plucky losers this year was Southampton. (That's if you don't include Arsenal who continue to prove that they can give those top-flight teams a real run for their money, bless 'em.)

The Saints made a poor start (they did have United, City, Everton and Spurs in their first seven matches) but Adkins turned it around. His reward? Cheers mate but we at Southampton FC have  a different idea of how a manager should look and sound. He's got a funny name. He's worked in Spain and everything. He will take the club forward.

That's right, the bloke who has led the club to two successive promotions and up and out of the relegation zone after a draw at the European champions is taking them sideways, isn't he? You ruthless, vicious, cynical, arrogant tossers. It was bad enough when Newcastle dumped Hughton, but this. It's such a flagrant disgrace, it's positively Suarezian.

Adkins struck a chord with most of us natives, I reckon. He seemed a stout solid citizen. Honest, straightforward, not too sophisticated. The sort of bloke that Tynesiders welcome. He did of course come up with the most lamentable excuse for Rodriguez's dive last week but we'll leave that to one side.

The only exucse for replacing him, it seems to me, is malice. Unless Fagin's in charge at the Saints and he couldn't stop singing 'You've got to pick a Pochettino or two.'

All I know about the Argentinian is that he's a decent leg for Michael Owen to pretend to fall over. Watch this: http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=england+v+argentina+2002&view=detail&mid=2ADE0CEF67424F3606EF2ADE0CEF67424F3606EF&first=0
..and you'll see where Chelsea's Ramires gets his cunning stunts from.

Frankly I don't wish the guy well. I hope Southampton pay for their decision. I'd be surprised if they don't. But first they've got to get below Newcastle. It's not going to be easy.

Meanwhile Adkins will be back in a job very soon. I understand the Blackburn Rovers job is up for grabs in the next couple of weeks.




170 comments:

  1. Whoa... that 'first' came in the same minute the blog was posted...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Expertly crafted as always, Robbo.

    If you want your "bloke who looks like he walks into lampposts every week, and sounds like he enjoys doing so, especially if he's 'taking one for the team,'" does that include Wayne Rooney? He even has the terrible hair(cut) to boot...

    Suarezian (adj, chiefly British)
    Def: flagrantly disgraceful yet backed with supreme talent, money, and/or blind support; disgrace often involves alleged (wink, wink) racism, alleged (or admitted) diving, and/or handling balls in inappropriate situations.

    ReplyDelete
  3. good stuff Robbo. According to that fountain of wisdom and knowledge of all things Southampton, Matt Le Tissier, the chairman is, for want of a better word, suarezian. I can't see how they could sack Adkins based on performance so I was kinda thinking that maybe we didn't get the full story. Not that I'm suggestin' he was bangin' the tea lady!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Alan Pardew's 8-year contact was/is a shocker -- maybe Pardew threatened to apply for the Man Utd job when SAF retires...

    The only manager who has a safe & secure job is SAF, and apparently he was prepared to move out of his office to the top floor to make way for Guardiola. Mind you, SAF looks like he's going to blow a gasket one of these days and end up in the knacker's yard -- they could mince him up and sell Fergie Burgers at OT.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wenger's pretty safe too, even more so then SAF. Do you think ol'purple nose would of got away with winning fuck all for so long?

      Delete
  5. BTW Robbo, good blog -- are we back on schedule now, with blog posts on the 7th; 14th and 21th (or is that 21st).

    ReplyDelete
  6. Top stuff as ever, Robbo. You gotta hope Southampton go down now. Newcastle, meanwhile, continue to offer their own brand of comedy. Somehow can't see Pardew getting the Manure job at present, Profile, but ... Fergie burgers?!? Bit old and gristly I'd have thought. Plus they'd probably complain about the amount of sauce you put on them.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  7. There must be something up there in the air (other then smog) that makes teams, including owners managers and fans a little doo-lally. (Northernmonkeyitis)

    The Toon are constantly off loading full barrel towards their Adidas retro clad area. First they get relagated with a savior, they then bounce back under Houghton, who you fail to mention is also Lahndan born and bred, and before anyone points to the fact that he played for Eire, I'd like to state that he's about as Irish as the love child of Tony Cascarino and Mick McCarthy.

    He (CH) gets the Spanish archer under much furore and the Toon Army doesn't like it............... well until Pardew gets them playing very, very well and right up there challenging for the top 4. All of a sudden AP is a sound lad and due to the way the team has been asembled Mike Ashley is a prudent business man and Newcastle are a well run club, ofcourse that doesn't stop them moaning about the possible cash injection due to stadium naming rights and association with such evil corperations as Wonga.... get over yourselves for fucks sake, you can still call the stadium SJP and I didn't hear so many complaints when the current deal was done, just because they're called Virgin it doesn't stop them from fucking people over too you know.

    After last years excelent showing it was always going to be difficult to maintain that level, with the added pressure of European fixtures and a hell of a lot bad luck with injuries, they have struggled, selling your best players is not exactly helpful either (says the Arsenal fan knowingly)

    Alan Pardew hasn't become a bad manager over night, and even if he had they're stuck with him, an eight year contract for a manager in these turbulent times is just ridiculous and adds futher comedic value to all going ons in the so called hotbed of football. Not that 'Boro are much better, remind me of the whole Gareth Southgate saga again please. I'm sure that Mowbury is doing a lot better, but as the Riverside is about as popular a destination as the Nevada Desert during nuclear test season I don't get to hear much fan reaction, I accidently zapped on to the Football League show a while ago and the stadium was literaly less then half full, it was a sad sight from a region that supposedly love their footy as much as their parmos, big hair, spray on tans and deep fried crap.

    Yours Jokingly

    A cockney barrow Del boy abroad.

    P.S. I failed to mention Sunderland because, well, frankly they aint wurf da bovver.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Not that 'Boro are much better, remind me of the whole Gareth Southgate saga again please."

      I didn't know he was Icelandic. Robbo, tell us the Saga of Gareth Southgate!

      Delete
  8. When I tipped Newcastle United to finish fourth this season, I was drunk. I must have been. (It was after 9 o'clock.)

    AM or PM? ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. don't worry about that Robbo, most of us were drunk when we read it.

      Delete
    2. Wait... you guys actually read the post rather than just replying to it?

      Delete
  9. Robbo, if South Shields is the English Copacabana, what does that make Whitley Bay, Monaco? Great Blog as ever.

    Spider

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whitley Bay = Vase winners.

      Or so we were informed.

      Delete
  10. Thanks for the blog.
    So you want managers that look like they walked into lampposts,
    So why didn't Steve Bruce have a life time contract.
    Del

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because the lamp posts the man with two first names walked into were in Sunderland?

      Delete
  11. Pardew? Never liked him.

    Know when you call someperson is 'a bit of a twat'? They are a bit off of Pardew.

    I beg your Pardew.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Maybe Pardew's contract has a sliding-scale clause in it -- Newcastle top of EPL and some club wants to poach him, compensation a billion quid. Mid-table and likely to survive in EPL, Newcastle get £250K. Newcastle in relegation zone, Newcastle auction off Pardew's contract and pay the "buying" club to take him off Newcastle's books. It's the only sane reason I could come up with for a manager to get an eight year contract.

    All managers should be on a one-year rolling contract which can be terminated without compensation at the end of the contract. Provides incentive for both club and manager to work together (it's worked for my mobile phone contract so far -- every year I ring the network to request a PAC so I can transfer my number to another network, the network reduces the monthly sub so I'm now at £10 a month for more minutes/SMS/data than when I was on contract. The £300 I "save" goes towards buying the handset outright to work with any SIM.

    ReplyDelete
  13. they just said on the radio coverage of the inauguration ".....and tonight, the First Lady will be attending to Presidential balls."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has had to get elected President twice but all that bother may well be worth it.

      Delete
  14. Former Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho, 49, has been paving the way for a remarkable return to Stamford Bridge by regularly texting and phoning club owner Roman Abramovich.

    Full story: Daily Star

    ...................

    It MUST be true if its in Daily Star - wooohooooooooooo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. if it was in the News Of The World there'd have been a full transcript of the texts and voice mails!

      Delete
    2. One half in Portuguese the other half in Russian. I suppose feck off must sound the same in both languages.

      Delete
  15. Emerging From Gorse22 January 2013 at 13:19

    How the feck do you sustain an injury being interviewed?!

    http://www.fantasyfootballscout.co.uk/fantasy-football-injuries/

    Scroll down to Enrique of Liverpool....must have been a very demanding interview.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He probably tripped over/walked into his own ego - easily done by any of those who consider themselves to be top players. I'm surprised it hasn't happened to Feo.

      Spider

      Delete
    2. He was trying to skip over the question about why he was shit for most part of last season.

      Delete
    3. I've heard of getting your tongue tied in knots or enduring a probing interview, but maybe he was hamstrung by his inability to explain why he let me down so badly when I had him in my fantasy team...

      Delete
  16. German giants Bayern Munich are considering a £40m bid for Liverpool striker Luis Suarez, 25.
    ================================

    A little early for this I would think. We normally lose our talismanic strikers with a couple of hours left in the transfer window. We have about 8 days now. Hopefully we dont lose him and blow the money on Papiss Cisse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andy Carroll, Andy Carroll, Andy Carroll, Andy Carroll and so on...

      Delete
    2. Carroll to Sturridge, oh so close to an equaliser.

      Sturridge, Carroll, oh off the post.

      Sturridge, Carroll, oh just couldn't get that one from under his feet.

      Carroll knocks it down, ohhhh Sturridge could have done better with that one.

      Delete
    3. As opposed to: Torres, Torres, Torres.... he really is sulking over there on the bench.

      Delete
    4. Don't you mean;

      I hope we don't lose him and Papiss the money away on Cisse.

      Delete
  17. remember this?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/4792270.stm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. in the article, he clearly said "top clubs" ... newcastle united shouldn't be criticized as they are obviously not included

      Delete
  18. Congratulations Bradford on making it to the Final of the COC.

    Excellent achievement.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I've got a lot of sympathy for all those enduring the bad weather in the UK. I'm working in Malta at the minute and the weather here has been pretty awful as well. In fact, today it was so bad that we had to ask them to put the air conditioning back on. Terrible times.

    Colch

    ReplyDelete
  20. Howdo. Been back in the motherland for the last 4 weeks, where the internet is too shite and too expensive. So I've been catching up on all the goings-on this morning (at 3am, because my body thinks it's fucking lunchtime).

    I'll answer your question, Trotts, although it's probably too late now - I reckon the Suprbowl should be a cracking game. I'd have said the 49ers were favourites, but that was before the Ravens beat the Patriots. I was watching that match in Santiago airport the other night but had to board my plane with the Pats in the lead and looking comfortable. Wasn't expecting to see that the Ravens had won when I arrived back in Newcastle. Maybe they're riding high on Ray Lewis emotion trying to send the fella out a winner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, a shocker at the weekend, Pats were 9 pt favourite. This Ray Lewis shit is an annoying sideshow, not to take away from his skill and dedication but he's more like a cheerleader with his antics.

      I hope the Niners win but if their rookie QB makes some of the mistakes that Brady made, then fergeddaboutit. Big task for a bloke who only played half a season but what a talent.

      Delete
    2. I think both teams will have a good gow but I think the Ravens will win as their defensive line is stronger than teh 49ers and Flacco really knows how to get the ball into teh end zone when under pressure although the 49ers QB must be good to keep Alex Smith out he only got going when 17-0 down in the 1st half and I think his inexperience will tell.

      I still can't believe the Broncos blew it though especially after a 104 yd kick off return and an 80 yard punt return by holloway gave them an excellent start - Peyton Manning must be kicking himself

      Delete
  21. You guys have it rough. We're finally warming to within a few degrees of freezing tomorrow. Spending the rest of the week in Orlando (albeit basically locked in a hotel conference center) will be a welcome change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hey, it's 13f here and I still have to go out and pick up dog shit. This is what Hell is like, I read somewhere!

      Delete
    2. for an intelligent man like yourself trott theres GOT to be a better way than that to make a living

      Delete
    3. sorry, 5f.

      Well, it's just a hobby really, I'm not in it for the money. It's rewarding work and the bending and stretching is probably good for my ageing limbs, major benefits for the golf game are expected in Spring. On the other hand, I might try taking a 7 iron out with me and launching the frozen turds into the woods.

      Delete
    4. i cant really see it catching on, trott

      mind you golf did so wtf do i no

      Delete
    5. new plan. Gonna box it up in vacuum bags and distribute to Premier league PR executives.

      Delete
    6. if only liverpool's expert PR man jen chang had thought of that he would never have been sacked

      Delete
  22. the north east is a footballing desert and has been since tony blair watched jackie milliband, ed's dad, playing for newcastle on the imaginary terraces of the workers paradise mirage of his non-existent youth

    ReplyDelete
  23. speaking of worker's paradise...so...much...smoke (san diego marijuana fire...)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ez7i17g9Cm0

    ReplyDelete
  24. Im with you robbo i hope punchinello turns out to be A richard burton in The mEDUSA tOUCH of a manager for southampton

    ReplyDelete
  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Spit,

    After reading your link to Pardew, I decided to take a look at his starting line up for the Toons last game;

    01 Krul (NL)
    02 Coloccini (ARG)
    03 Santon (ITA)
    06 Williamson
    26 Debuchy (FRA)
    04 Cabaye (FRA)
    08 Anita (NL)
    18 Gutierrez (ARG)
    22 Marveaux (FRA)
    09 Cisse (SNG)
    23 Sh Ameobi

    Santon may be replaced with their new signing Mbia Byoioioiong (whatever), and Amoebi's only in because Ba went to the Chavs.

    Hypocrite much?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably but English players are so overpriced there's no way Ashleys going to fork out £60K a week for someone like Kieron Gibbs or Carl Jenkinson

      Delete
    2. They were overpriced at the time of that article too, Adam, that's not the point. So many pointed fingersand said that AW was ruining the game, when in fact he was putting in an infrastructure for the future.

      He has now, through the rebuilding of the academy and proper investment, got a core of young British players that are the future of Arsenal. Gibbs, Jenks, Ox, Ramsey, Wilshere and Feo have all signed new contracts and there are many coming through the academy.

      Pardew's got a bunch of foriegners and since taken over the Toon has boosted the French export business.

      Delete
    3. I agree that Wenger has started to build an Englisg base to Arsenal once again although he does need some experience to go alongside the youngsters

      Nigel Adkins to Aston Villa or Sunderland in the summer

      Delete
  27. Hello / goodbye everyone - have good evening.

    Off home ready to watch Chelsea thrash Swansea to within an inch of their lives - either that or scrape through with us winning 3-2 on aggregate (fingers crossed)

    ReplyDelete
  28. i wish i could wish you luck bells cos i really like you but unfortunately i fucking hate chelsea almost as much as i hate man u, stoke, millwall and leeds

    ReplyDelete
  29. Doesn't matter who wins tonight, Bradford will kill 'em in the final.

    ReplyDelete
  30. GREAT NEWS!

    BBC replace Colin Murray with Mark Chapman on Match of the Day 2

    Thanks christ! he was terrible not funny and as far as i could tell knew nothing about football another fumbled attempt to appeal to yoof

    BUT! was he so bad that even the man who shot john lennon would be better? what next?

    charles manson presents : Antique roadshow?
    Peter Sutcliffe presents : Dancing on Ice Picks (sorry)
    Jimmy Saville presents : Top of the Pops...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and while they are at it can they not get rid of Mark Lawrenson, he is also VERY unfunny and a sanctimonious, smug twat

      Delete
  31. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/news/9819788/Colin-Murray-is-not-just-irritating-and-irrelevant-he-is-a-very-bad-presenter.html


    Now Jonathon lieuw is a funny guy

    ReplyDelete
  32. How is your injury doing blogs? Not too serious I hope. You seem quite injury-prone - didn't you break your arm a few months back after falling off your bike? You're like the Darren Anderton of the robbo blog world.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Not good Noel mate. Same injury....needs an op.... cycling in the UK is more dangerous than.naked giant alien hedgehog wrestling in outer.space.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Are cheapo the first English team to field an Aztec ... Azpilicueta.. And a conquistador...Ramirez ...in the same team? Will race memory reach down through time to unsettle.their solidarity?

    ReplyDelete
  35. Cheapo? Is that the most inappropriate predictive text error ever...chelski.

    ReplyDelete
  36. If chelski are knocked out will the sinister Russian force rafa to wrestle a giant space hedgehog as he orbits the earth in the buff?

    ReplyDelete
  37. read on To discover The Answer to none of these questions...

    ReplyDelete
  38. Fuckin hell..what did the gunners eat at halftime?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Eden Hazard kicks a ball boy? wtf. is it on you tube yet?

    ReplyDelete
  40. RED CARD - Eden Hazard
    This is truly remarkable. Eden Hazard has been sent-off for kicking a ball boy
    ============================
    Er...what ??

    ReplyDelete
  41. Emerging From Gorse23 January 2013 at 21:38

    The ball boy has clearly been watching Premier League footballers too long.....Hazard tried to poke the ball out from under him 'cos the lad was laying on it wasting time and he rolled around like he'd been shot, clutching his side in fake agony.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Having seen it on TV just now, I have to agree. To say Hazard kicked the boy is stretching it a bit. Though I still think it warranted a yellow, possibly a red even for reasonably silly behavior against spectators/ballboys etc.

      Delete
    2. 3 broken ribs, a puntured lung, a sense of team loyalty and a cheeky grin. They could make a case that the ball boy should have been carded for wastin' time.

      Delete
    3. It was an absolute disgrace by Hazard - he should have kicked the cheating Welsh wazzack in the nuts.

      Delete
    4. I should also say that Swansea thoroughly deserved to win and be in final

      Delete
  42. Lost both fantasy matchups but moved into first in Jacks and second in Robbo classics. And no Hazard for a while, it seems.

    Didn't see the incident, but hoping somehow he won't be out quite as long as he could be. Oh, and that Hazard comes back soon, too.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Mark Lawrenson:
    "Bradford dared to dream. They were helped by Villa who were very naive in the second half but don't take anything away from Bradford City. They played very good football and have been brilliant at set-pieces. My words aren't good enough for them."

    Last sentence is one McNumpty ought to use as a signature at the end of his pieces.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Haha absolutely hilarious here it is on YouTube

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubL5ux5WcBg

    ReplyDelete
  45. Mind you the little twat richly deserved it.his parents one quarter own Swansea and this is what he tweeted beforehand the sneaky wee bastard....

    “The king of all ballboys is back making his final appearance #needed #for #timewasting.”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's their job though get the ball quickly if the home team are losing and slowly if they are winning. He certainly wan't the only ball boy taking his time last night.

      Delete
  46. I notice torres was waiting to come on...if he'd tried to kick the ballboy he would have missed

    ReplyDelete
  47. The debate rages...Fergie defends ballboy claiming he could have been killed Suarez tweets that they kick ballboys all theed time in Belgium...

    ReplyDelete
  48. A red card certainly,but the ball boy showed marvellous promise there.Rolling around as if shot by a sniper.And that was before Hazard tried a Jonny Wilkinson on him.

    Equity card in the post.

    ReplyDelete
  49. New Premier League rule. All ballboys to carry "Hazard warning" signs from now on.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  50. Oh, and Robbo. Did you miss out a couple of words in your pre season prediction? Should that have been "Newcastle to finish fourth from bottom"?

    Pretty accurate stuff.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  51. Updated photo of Swansea ball boy who is now recovering from his ordeal

    https://twitter.com/BBCSporf/status/294210587234295810/photo/1

    ReplyDelete
  52. Can't get to see the clip anymore (Premier League have pulled it from all of the YouTube postings), but I am seeing lots of different "interpretations" - did he take a swing or was he just using his foot to pry the ball out? What I am getting at is, would he have been sent off if it was another player on the pitch lying on the ball?

    It seems clear from all accounts that the ballboy was deliberately time-wasting, but that is not much of an excuse and if it was something Hazard would have been red-carded for anyway, he really has no defense.

    One last thought, when will Chelsea change their club motto to "Why always us?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He did not take a swing. He was getting the ball out without any venomous intent, but you cant do that wiht a ballboy. He has since apologized, should be case closed really. Not too much else in it.

      Delete
    2. I may be a touch biased but if you watch this it does seem as tho Hazard gets ball fairly 'cleanly'

      http://bbcsporf.lockerdome.com/articles/105166532

      Delete
    3. Thanks BHB and AH.

      I agree - what he did would be unlikely to have got him a red on the pitch, so I think he was only hard done by because it was a ball-boy. He doesn't even seem to be to too upset (admittedly only on this small clip) so not exactly a Cantona moment here is it?

      Can't see the FA reducing his suspension (will Chelsea appeal?), but it shouldn't be extended on this evidence.

      Delete
  53. So, it's come to this has it? Players are kicking ball boys now, are they?

    Maybe it's not as bad as it first seemed and it may of been blown up a bit, but I can't understand how anyone, and especially anyone in the game, I'm looking at you Galen Bale and Pat Nevin, could possibly come out and try to defend Hazard.

    OK, maybe the "kid" was not as young as first reported, but 17 is still a minor. He may very well be a total toerag who milked the situation like an eight armed farmer, but that is neither here nor there. Hazard is supposed to be a professional and a role model, *sniggers*. The ballboy was also at fault, but two wrongs don't make a right and Hazard should of known better.

    I'm not saying that it was malicous or that I think that he intended to do any real harm, but once again that's not the point. Policing thousands in a stadium is hard enough as it is, without players adding to the difficulties. In a game that sanctions players for taking off their shirts, or riling up opposing supporters with celebrations, what do you really expect the ref to do? What he (EH) basically did was kick a kid in a Swansea tracksuit at Swansea's ground full with Swansea supporters, he could of started a riot.

    As far as I can tell the Welsh are pretty protective of their kids and they'll defend them if in any danger, Hazard can thank his lucky stars that he didn't kick a sheep, he wouldn't have escaped the valleys with his life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Defend him - Nevin encourages it saying he would kick the kid 100%. Its a shame that is always the classless Chelsea people who are the rent-a-quotes not the better ones like Zola or Vialli

      Delete
    2. Got to agree with this H2. I see Joey Barton (a man with no record whatsoever of violence towards kids) suggested Hazard should have kicked him harder, then claimed he didn't mean it.

      On a totally different note, did anyone see the Jimmy Kebe to Newcastle rumour. Turns out he put it on Twitter as a joke, because "I thought if you're French and play football you just pop into Newcastle and sign a contract. Not a chance of leaving." Half the rumour mills fell for it! Nice one.


      Jedi

      Delete
    3. Without getting in a no he didn't, yes he did panto theme here with you Adam, I believe Nevin said he would have also kicked the ball from UNDER the kid, what Hazard supposedly did - depending on whether you watch 'my' clip or H2's :)

      Hazard should have waited until the ball boy finally decided to let go of the ball and the ballboy shouldn't have been such a twat.

      Delete
    4. I could watch your clip all day Bells. H2 doesnt stand a chance on this blog.

      Delete
  54. Bells, I'll see your innocent and raise you a guilty;

    http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18cf62d5h0r3xgif/original.gif

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That made me laugh a LOT & outloud and am now getting funny looks from people around me :)

      Delete
    2. What's really funny is that it looks like the ballboy is pumping the ball -- maybe thought it was a sheep?

      Delete
  55. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvtrWuLXuzQ

    Just because this makes me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Those of you who thought that Planet of the Apes was just science fiction, you have been warned;

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/4759554/Gareth-Bale-lookalike-at-Tottenham-Kenny-McEvoy.html

    ReplyDelete
  57. blogdignag
    GREAT NEWS!

    BBC replace Colin Murray with Mark Chapman on Match of the Day 2

    Thanks christ! he was terrible not funny and as far as i could tell knew nothing about football another fumbled attempt to appeal to yoof

    BUT! was he so bad that even the man who shot john lennon would be better? what next?


    Maybe it's his history that persuaded the Beeb to give him a shot (all puns intended). It may be a cunning plan to get rid of the other "scousers" that have been festering on the couch for way too long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why would the beeb want to get rid of me ? My wife just accused me of festering on the couch far too long, very recently (in her defense, she is from Alabama and cant understand my obsession with 'soccer').

      Delete
    2. Does she have a banjo on her knee?

      (I hear they can be surgically removed now...)

      Delete
  58. Zaha to the scummy mancs for £15m..................excuse my savage ignorance, but how is it that the clubs who are deepest in debt always seem to be the ones who get away with spending fucking shitloads?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or clubs with no fucking debt can't cugh up 8 mil for Ba and get pipped by Southampton for potential signs.

      Delete
    2. Man U has a turnover in the hundreds of millions. They have more sponsership deals then you can shake a stick at (if you are stickshaking type) and basically they can buy anyone they choose.

      The 24mil for RvP will be earned back in spades, with shirt sales and the fact that he'll probably win them the league meaning once again their stock will rise.

      Theonly reason that IOU are in debt is because of the way the owners financed the takeover, basically borrowing money by putting up the club as equity, a dangerous venture for the club, not so much for the Glaziers as they are not risking their own money. So far it's worked, but a slip in fortunes could have dire concequences.

      Delete
    3. they have a club valued at 3 - 4 times what they owe on it. It's a very safe, low risk "mortgage". They also own an NFL team valued over a billion dollars with no debt.

      Delete
    4. There are some interesting but pointless similarities between football clubs (EPL) with US owners. The Glaziers own a 'legendary' football club (EPL), and a mediocre at best football team (NFL). J. W. Henry (Fenway Sports Group) owns a 'legendary' football club, and a baseball club (MLB) with a history of mediocre results in the 'post' season. How LeBron James 'teamed up' with Liverpool and Fenway Sports Group is a mystery to me. Randy Lerner and Ellis Short are investment banking millionaires with mid-table yo-yo football clubs (EPL).

      Delete
  59. Still top but 2 points dropped vs dons. Infallible Goal Machine Pope.scores number 27.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's tough at the summit Blogidy............

      Or so I've heard.

      Delete
    2. why haven't Man U bought Pope for 20 milion yet? How long is his contract, Blog?

      Delete
    3. i dont think any vale fan will want anyone at all to know how short his contract is trott and i only hope that i havent just given it away because saf and wenger read this blog and they buy big in the summer

      dang id better delete this post and not press pu

      Delete
    4. yes H its tough at the summit of the gentle foothills and the sherpas arent what they used to be

      Delete
  60. Aston Villa full-back Matt Lowton, 23, claims he was taught about the importance of gamesmanship when he was a ball boy at Sheffield United by then manager Neil Warnock.
    Full story: the Sun

    In other words, Colin Wanker encouraged cheating.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Blame it on the ballboy;

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/4760551/Top-15-ballboy-incidents-in-football.html

    ReplyDelete
  62. well done andy the scots lad done good

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The BRITISH lad done well.

      He's only scots if he loses. ;)

      Delete
    2. so he'll probably be Scottish on Sunday!

      Delete
    3. Hang on, it's Robbie Burns day, ofcoure he's gonna be of the Tartan persuasion.

      Happy Haggis and Sporan ta ye.

      Delete
  63. Good luck if your teams are playing at weekend - and a special mention to the Brentford ballboys for Sunday.

    Off home soon - Friday night = bubbly night - H2 no doubt you have started already?

    Have good weekend everyone

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Started?

      Who said I ever stopped. ;)

      Have a goodun Bells.

      Delete
  64. League Two top scorer Tom Pope says he wants to stay at Port Vale past this summer when his current contract ends.

    Pope, who has 26 goals this season, triggered the option of extending his deal by a year when he hit 15 goals.

    "I've had people asking me about rumours from [other] clubs but I just try and distance myself from anything," Pope told BBC Radio Stoke.

    Pivotal Pope
    Port Vale are yet to lose a league game in which Pope has scored in this season

    "Hopefully I can sort something out, we can get promoted, and I can continue scoring goals for the Vale."

    Pope continued: "All I know is that I'm scoring goals for the club I love, we're top of the league and promotion beckons if we keep it going - I'm enjoying every minute."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He'll probably be at Norwich by Sunday then.

      Delete
    2. He'll re-sign trott

      And im going apple picking with scooby doo

      Delete
    3. I Shaggy'ed a Velma once.

      It might of been twice.

      Delete
    4. is her memory of the event as vague as yours, H?

      Delete
  65. Post writing is also a fun, if you know afterward you can write or else it is
    difficult to write.
    My web site : transfer news football chelsea

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. English obviously not your first language.

      Delete
    2. that's an after 11pm blog if ever there was one. Cracking good read.

      Delete
  66. Burns night so mind yer fingers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Watch out for wild haggis on whisky fueled killing sprees.

      Delete
  67. Third time will daphnely end in a scrappy I'm a fred

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for you meddling kid's

      Delete
  68. TrotterUSA
    is her memory of the event as vague as yours, H?


    Well, if it isn't I'm off to the Rophey store to demand my money back

    ReplyDelete
  69. Not sure if this is a great idea or a terrible one;

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21203253

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is expected that bidding cities will have to provide an airport with two terminals or two different airports in order to keep rival fans apart .
      =================================================
      Is this just nonsense or have they got the airports and airlines to modify their schedules to ensure flights from rival team countries land at separate terminals. Also hardly likely that the fans for both teams are going to fly in from those 2 countries only.

      Delete
    2. It gives the airlines the oppertunity to double the prices of the tickets...

      Not that they wouldn't have done that anyway,

      It will be pretty rough, logistically for most fans and that's without even factoring in the cost.

      Delete
    3. It won't be much fun for the players either, moving from hotel to hotel, if you thought they come back half broken from tournamentsbefore, a good run under this format will take even more out of them.

      Delete
  70. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Villa’s manager will be Doing The Lambert Walk if things continue like this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think they're trying to get used to losing to opponents from outside the Premier League, since that's what they'll be doing all of next season.

      Delete
  72. England take penalties so poorly that anyone associated with the country fails miserably, only to have the opposing keeper show everyone how it's done.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21044595

    ReplyDelete
  73. Australians have a sense of humor, and even their libraries are macho.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-21115720

    ReplyDelete
  74. promotion and FA Cup double is still on for the Boro then!

    ReplyDelete
  75. How bad is Paul Lambert? Even his old team is losing to lower league teams now.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I see the Scottish tennis player got beat!

    ReplyDelete
  77. Some motherfukr tried to hijack this account. How empty a life is that?

    ReplyDelete
  78. Your teeth are offside
    your Teeth are offside
    oh Luis Suarez
    Your Teeth are offside

    ReplyDelete
  79. Replies
    1. Rodgers better than Lambert. At least his old team is doing well :).

      Embarassing to say the least, but at least we're out of the competition to an opponent who could really use the cash instead of losing to say a Fulham or Swansea. We have a really good first team and a horrible second string. No depth in the squad to allow any rotation let alone half the team.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. Embarassing to say the least, but at least we're out of the competition to an opponent who could really use the cash instead of losing to say a Fulham or Swansea

      I wish I thought of that when we lost to Bradford.

      Delete
    4. Only difference H2 is that had you beaten them you were always going to be in with a chance of winning the cup. No way in fuck we're going to win anything while keeping our first 11 only for PL games.

      Speaking of which, Coates should ship out. Admittedly he has never been given an extended run, but if you're a good player, you will always be desperate to shine whenever given a chance. Apart from a wonder goal against Sparky's QPR, he has always looked like he'd rather be sitting on the bench reading a book.

      Delete
  80. When the ties for the fourth round were drawn, I was pretty worried as I saw another potential upset Brighton and Hove (Albion) into view.

    Luckily we missed droping to the Seagulls, but there was much fuss made about how we "only" just managed to "scrape through".

    Yesterdays' and todays' results has proved that that the magic of the cup is still alive and well. Congratulations to all the underdogs that are barking load and proud all the way to the fifth round.

    And HA HA HA at L'poo and the Spuds,

    Rafa your mission to completly destroy Chelski is almost complete.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes, congratulations to all the underdogs, especially Everton (and Oldham).

      Delete
    2. Karma is a bitch - me and Mr BHB were chuckling away at some of the scores during matches on Saturday, sorry H2 that did include yours but well done on 'scraping' through! :), and then what happens yesterday, was checking scores on phone throughout match (too tight to get ESPN) and the ONLY conslation when we were 2-1 down was that surely it would be the end of R*f* and then what happens, Tosser - who must read this blog - only goes and saves him ...

      Delete
  81. This article gives clear idea designed for the new visitors of blogging, that actually how to do blogging.


    Look into my web site :: natural cellulite treatment

    ReplyDelete