Thursday, 7 February 2013

Where there's a Wilshere...

Well it was quite a refreshing evening at Wembley last night.

First of all, only three players pulled out of a friendly international. Normally, the England manager endures more late withdrawals than a Greek bank. Only Michael Carrick's absence looked remotely suspicious. But then again Carrick hasn't exactly shown himself to be the most enthusiastic England squad memebr and there was no doubt he wasn't going to get a start last night.

Which is not something you could say of Ashley Cole. He's had his knockers, has Ashley [insert joke here]. His misdemeanours are legion: bringing a gun to work; being less than happy about getting £55 grand a week; and, worst of all, treating Wor Cheryl like a doormat.

However every time the little numpty had pulled on an England shirt he's been committed and competent and until Baines's recent rise there's been no competition for his place whatsoever. It was good too to hear that even if he isn't first choice, he'll still be turning up for the internationals - a rare vow of loyalty in these days of self-interest.

In short, yes Cashley is a bit of a knob, but he's our knob. Except when he plays for Chelsea when he goes back to being a plain old knob.

(By the way, the reason I didn't write a blog on Monday was cos it would have been a gentle gloat over the Blues' increasing ability to throw away comfortable leads while El Chubbo watches on in bewilderment, his notebook and pencil in his hand like he's about to take down an order for two patatas braveas and a cafe con leche. Which reminds of the time when I took the missus to Paris and ordered meself a cafe au lait and she asked why French coffee has got a Spanish name.)

Of course Wednesday night also saw the full return of Jack Wilshere and the lad looked every bit as good as them Samba Boys. He's got the lot, that boy. He must have arrived in the world with a ball at his feet, kicked before he walked. He's a gleaming drop of hope, isn't he?

Not that the others can be too overlooked. Hodgson picked a team that looked a bit more threatening than usual. Although Walcott is still a mix of heady speedster and headless chicken, he looks more and more like the player Sven imagined he might be when he was the squad mascot. Rooney had one of his better games - although that appalling barnet makes him look more and more like he's walked off the pages of The Beano.

Hart and Johnson pretty much pick temselves too. On the down side, Cahill had one of those moments that has the average Englishman hollering "GET RID!!! OH YOU FUCKING TOILET!!!" We'd love a footballing centre-half in this country - you know, a Beckenbauer who can stride out from the back without someone shouting "What the hell is he doing?" But hellfire, you're not him, Gary!

Brazil's equaliser prompted one of those familiar periods of an England international when the back four pass it around with all the intelligence and confidence of a pheasant crossing the road.

Brazil weren't too duff either, and Scolari wasn't too disappointed by them. While praise was heaped on Harts penalty save no mention seemd to be made of what a shite penalty kick Ronaldinho took, as if the lad is above criticism. As for Neymar, well I've not seen owt of him really but you are left with the impression that the lad needs to be reminded that there's more to a footballing great than a crap haircut and some shiny boots.

But it was a great evening's entertainment I thought. And while Andy Townsend will tell you that it'll give them a lot of confidence going forward - that terrible Osborne-ish phrase - it'll be nowt compared with the horrors of a must-win fixture on a corrugated roof of a pitch in Montenegro. That'll be a much tougher test. Especially as San Marino comes first, which will keep the physios busy for the three days afterwards.

219 comments:

  1. Bllody hell, where is everyone. First. And I even read the blog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great stuff as usual, Robbo. Being an ignorant American (redundant, I know), I had trouble relating to your English national team worries. I mean, we did wonderfully last night with our Euro reject, losing away to Honduras 2-1 under Jurgen Klinsmann. Thankfully, you related your wonderful Chelsea aside. That, and the pheasant reference. I've seen one of those cross the road before. Big things happening here in Utah. Almost as big as Montenegro and San Marino. Which countries would you say are your European Honduras? (Tiny nations where the facilities and fans can get passionately ugly; where it is harder to win than rankings suggest.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Serbia, Croatia and - why not, Montenegro - just to confirm Robbo's worries about England's WC qualifiers....

      Delete
  3. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-21353178

    Michael Chopra.Twat.

    ReplyDelete
  4. good stuff Robbo. It seems lost on all but me that had Sturridge played, the spine of the team would have borne a Bolton stamp. The fact that he didn't play and that him and Wishere were loanees and the one we owned for a while gave away the goal is irrelevant. It's what could have been that matters at times like this.

    Walcott, in the first half he gave away the ball near the corner flag that led to a good chance for Brazil and then got tackled to set up another break when he should have done better. Expecting Johnson to clean up after Walcott is a ridiculous plan that will leave them highly vulnerable for as long as it's employed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right Trotts, Johnson and Walcott is not exactly a defensive partnership inspiring confidence. Also, in the general lauding of Lamps' goal, it was noticeable how much poorer we were in midfield when he came on for the second half. Cleverley would never have scored the goal, but he made a much better foil for Wilshire because he never stops moving and giving both an option for the pass as well as drawing off defenders. Gerrard doesn't (can't?) do that role any more and Lamps .......

      Delete
  5. Agree on Lamps. He is a thing of the past, despite the goal. Be nice of he could see it as a terrific way to go.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "As for Neymar, well I've not seen owt of him really but you are left with the impression that the lad needs to be reminded that there's more to a footballing great than a crap haircut and some shiny boots."

    Well, that line just made my day a little better. Thanks for writing some great stuff that connects a football-starved American to the sport a bit better.

    ReplyDelete
  7. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21343978

    Who do Forest they think they are, Chelsea?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well they have won the Champions League more times than Chelsea.

      Delete
    2. No they haven't, they've never even been in the Champions League.

      Delete
    3. Pedantic Dutchman (?) Oh no just an Arsenal supporter

      Delete
  8. Thanks for the blog Robbo,.
    there are still faults but hey!
    We beat Brazil whats not to like
    Del

    ReplyDelete
  9. Another sneaky midweek offering from the mighty blogster catches his followers on the hop. We'd all assumed that it was half term and you'd taken the kids away to the caravan. Great blog Robbo. The trouble is that we beat Brazil and everyone seems to think we must have one hand on the World Cup and that an away trip to Montenegro should be no problem. It'd be like Spurs beating Man U. then losing at Leeds er...

    Spider

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or Liverpool beating Norwich and then losing to Oldham. Same thing really.

      Delete
    2. Or Chelsea beating anyone then repeatedly losing or drawing due to blown leads. But that would never happen.

      Delete
    3. AH, Norwich are hardly Brazil, even if they do play in yellow shirts and their goal-scorer has a four-letter name. (No obvious comments please Jacks!)

      Spider

      Delete
    4. That was me being funny Spider.

      Delete
    5. This is me being punny, Spider.

      Delete
  10. england need another striker up front of the calibre of Tom Pope - england's top scorer (27)

    4 points clear at the top now

    ReplyDelete
  11. History will write : Tom Pope, World Cup Winner! Scorer of World Cup Winning goal. Knighted 2015.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson is fined £12,000 for comments about assistant referee Simon Beck in the 1-1 draw at Tottenham last month.
    -------------------------------
    That's gonna get the poor bastard on food stamps now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, but it won't be a stamp..."I swear I was already putting my foot there and he just slid his leg under it! He was trying to kill me!"

      Delete
    2. Heh.Not that kind of stamp. :).

      Delete
  13. Nice one Robbo.

    Young Jack has been growing back nicely into the game this season. He's a very intellegent player with great technique, he's always got his head up looking for the forward pass and he's not afraid to take players on.

    Ofcourse now that he's played well for England and had the likes of Stevie G bigging him up, the meeja will put him up on a pedistal, waiting for the moment they can knock him off it. Luckily he seems to have a level head on his shoulders. he's not a Jack the Lad, plus he now has a young son, hopefully he'll keep his feet on the ground and his head down, if he does that then Arsenal and England will have quite a player on their hands.

    ReplyDelete
  14. With the digg abuse scandal breaking in Australia and the Melly reported problems with the same issue in that other high achieving country, Spain, you'd have to be naive to think it isn't an issue here

    Danny Mills talks about the'legal' use of sport medicine here

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/england/9858898/Former-Leeds-and-England-defender-Danny-Mills-says-players-would-do-almost-anything-to-get-an-edge.html

    He talks about Night Nurse abuse playing for England and for me that says everything on the subject that needs to be said.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Football is miles behind other sports when it comes to drug testing.From a PED perspective there's EPO and blood transfusions to enable you to keep going for longer (apparently Mrs Jack wants me to take some,but I tell her my cycling training is fine.Not sure if that's what she meant),plus the amount of recreational stuff that wealthy,bored young men can take.

    After the farce of the England v Ukraine game,didn't it come out about them taking caffeine supplements?

    On the subject of Night Nurse,I can confirm that watching Ipswich play for 90 minutes is like a pint of Night Nurse with a whisky chaser.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love the irony here of an Amish beard trimmer being called Mullet.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-21389094

    ReplyDelete
  17. No golf for Trotts this weekend.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-21392242

    ReplyDelete
  18. I found this interesting.


    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21337504

    Fantastic book,also recommend the DJ Taylor biography of Orwell.

    ReplyDelete
  19. And that concludes my review of the BBC website.

    Although whilst on the subject,the BBC does seem to be looking to fill the space left by the News of the Screws.

    Some of the articles they write,especially in the sport section,seem designed to bring out the trolls and keyboard bashers.

    What I find most disappointing about this is a lack of JDR putting them all right.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Morning Jacks!

    And now to watch youth football and if you don't hear from me again it's because I've finally died of boredom....

    Cmon the Vale!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Moin Moin Blogs.

    Whatever you do,don't turn up in a Jimmy Saville costume.

    Jim once fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jacks that is so funny
    del

    ReplyDelete
  23. Seems that it#s only the meat and potatoe that hasn#t got horse meat
    del

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  24. yeah Jacks, the lass says we have 7 - 8", but I've told her it's a good 12". Poor buggers North of us got hammered

    Off to Florida next week for a few days, see if we can still swing the clubs. Life is full of choices, go outside and start shoveling snow or watch footy.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I rarely leave a response, however I looked at a few of the comments here "Where there's a Wilshere...".
    I actually do have a couple of questions for you if you do not mind.
    Is it only me or does it give the impression
    like a few of the remarks appear as if they are left by brain dead individuals?
    :-P And, if you are posting on other sites, I'd like to keep up with everything fresh you have to post. Could you make a list of the complete urls of your shared pages like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?

    Here is my site - http://www.Glowtrend.com/profile-11277/info/
    Here is my blog post ... click the up coming webpage

    ReplyDelete
  26. "yeah Jacks, the lass says we have 7 - 8", but I've told her it's a good 12". Poor buggers North of us got hammered"

    Trotts, is that some combo of Night Nurse and blindfolded uni-uddered cow-milking?

    And Night Nurse? Really? Sounds like a bad porno/horror movie.

    ReplyDelete
  27. My fantasy team is off to a poor start, missing Geoff and Juan. Cam'ron, what's the Mata with these managers, not starting the players I want?

    ReplyDelete
  28. David Ngog, I won't say a bad word about him all week.

    There's only one Dodgy Fry-up!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Re "I rarely leave a response"

    Not rarely enough imo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i was trying to ignore the "brain dead individuals" comment, Blog, it probably includes me.

      Delete
    2. Methinks brain-dead individuals would struggle to leave comments at all. But then, McNumpty manages to get by.

      Delete
  30. Hats off to Col u good game deserved the victory.

    ReplyDelete
  31. OK I admit it, I'm the brain dead.
    I was hoping not to get found out for a few more years though
    Del

    ReplyDelete
  32. Popped down to Sydney on Friday to watch the Aussie v West Indies one-dayer. Great knock from Keiron Pollard to get 109*, with some great bowling from Mitchell Johnson, but unfortunately the WI only set a score of 220 so the Aussies used their innings as batting practice ahead of their tour of India starting next week, so no big hittting. Still good to see the likes of Shane Watson and Michael Clarke in the flesh. Plus a great atmosphere at the SCG.

    Some interesting results in the footie yesterday - great to see QPR losing, but would have been better if Wigan and Reading had got some points too. The Welsh simian gaining us three points again. He's in some form that lad, but worrying when no-one else is scoring for us.

    And Port Vale only drawing, with no goals from the Pope. Relegation form that, blogs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tom Pope hasn't scored since Blog put him forward for England selection. It's a curse I tell ya.

      Delete
    2. Somehow I managed to get through the entire England v Australia women's World Cup cricket match (or whatever it is called). Cricket is wonderful white noise for work, because you never really need to pay attention. The replays on WatchESPN make it convenient, too, in case something actually happens. Ended up a nail-biter, too.

      However, by watching football (never mind calling it football instead of soccer) and cricket, I have disqualified myself from public office and most sports conversation in the States. I'm afraid I may be deported, which would be odd, given that I was born here....

      Delete
  33. Noel, Trot ...just keeping the powder dry for an end of the season charge into league 1.

    Pope hit the post

    Did you see me on TV jumping up and down when Freddie Sears scored at Col u? No?

    The football league show is a good show with a minimum of bullshit but has EVEN WORSE PRESENTERS THAN MATCH OF THE DAY Leroy rosenoir "they will definitely go down but the question is will they survive?' Should know about the lower leagues as he's played for half of the clubs and coached the other half, without any success at all, but seems to know Fuck all. as for mannish boy he's so bland he's transparent beige.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've tried to watch it a few times, but it's absolute guff. The presenters are pony and I don't like the way the highlights of the games are reaported, with them telling you what happened before it happens.

      Delete
  34. Fair enough Blog, RVP just hit the post too, happens to the best strikers in the world, even Messi has hit the post I hear.

    ReplyDelete
  35. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  36. the lass says we have 7 - 8", but I've told her it's a good 12"

    Yeah, yeah.

    Some blokes love to exagerate. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Is it just me or is there not enough brain dead coimments here?

    Here's my bog; http://www.installatie.nl/wosimages/nieuws_afbeelding_441.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i fuckin hate those "bring your own bog roll" establishments!

      Delete
    2. Wait... why is there a toilet in the shower?

      Delete
    3. How else are you going to clean your butt?

      Delete
  38. I'm having serious problems rooting for van Persie to score. I want to win, but I don't want Man Utd to win. Somehow it feels worse than when I had Tevez.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No ones catching United, especially not Chelsea. Everton have got more chance of catching you. So there's no need to feel too dirty about it.

      Behalf, ofcourse, the fact that you support the Chavs. ;)

      Delete
  39. Well it looks like that's the PL almost sewn up for United, I know it "ain't over 'til the fat lady sings", but surely she's doing her warming up exercises in the dressing room at this very moment.

    Gotta tip the old hat to Fergy. He saw his team lose on GD last year so went out and bought the league's best striker. Be interesting to see what happens to Mancini now, even if he wins the FA Cup, this season will still be seen as a major failure, will the Sheiks keep faith? His team are looking like a bunch of exspencively assembled stars instead of a ..................... Oh, wait!!

    The other three from the top 4 places is now what it's all about. The gap between second and fifth is now smaller then between second and first, they (Citeh) could totally implode, that would definetly keep it more interesting. Rafa's doing a great job at Chelsea (for the rest of us), yeah they won yesterday, but it took I think the score was pretty flattering. Spurs are what Arsenal were last year, a one man team. Bale is on fire, but take him out and I think they'll suffer. Villa Boas will have to wrap him up in cotton wool 'til the very end of the season.

    It's hard to tell, even for those of us who watch every minute of every game they play, which Arsenal are going to show up. Sometimes we don't turn up, sometimes we're sublime. Last two games we've scrapped for wins against teams that usually give us a hard time, so it looks like we're finally showing some spirit but who knows how long that will last. Plus we've still got the distraction of the FA Cup and the CL and this is usually the point where we start to wobble in those competitions. AW will need to be very smart when it comes to squad rotation, some areas can be switched around, some can't.

    Everton are not out of it yet and Swansea and Liverpool are still within touching distance.and if they win their next two games could leapfrog their neighbours (albeit with one extra game played)

    12 rounds left, all to play for, (except for the title!!!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In answer to your question, H.....

      so it looks like we're finally showing some spirit but who knows how long that will last.....

      I know the answer!

      Delete
    2. H2H, after the Arsenal-Wham game I prepared the following:

      Arsene Wenger - An Apology

      In past editions of this blog, through headlines such as "Adios, Arsene", "Arsene Nil" and "Le Fin Arsene" we may have given the impression that we considered Arsene Wenger to be a washed-up celebral dilettante whose ability to create teams that were pleasing on the eye but as threatening as a six-week old kitten was now completely out of touch with the physicality and power needed to survive in the Premier League 2013 [Stoke City].

      We now realise that Arsene Wenger is a genius who can crate a team out of a missorted assembly of journeymen, inflated egos, has-beens and never-weres with the odd up-and-coming youngster thrown in which may yet begin to rival the great invincibles of old and we hereby apologise for having the temerity ever to suggest that the great one may have been well past his sell-by date.

      Of course this would only have lasted until the next crap result and then it would have been back to another round of Arsene-slagging (Does he know the meaning of the words, "defence" and "tackle" etc.)

      Spider

      Delete
  40. China... Year of the snake

    England... Year of the Horse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blog, they've started on the horseburgers, moved on to Lasangneigh, God knows what they're going to find when they start testing sausages!

      Spider

      Delete
  41. Sunday Mba scores for Nigeria in the African Nations final. Signs for Chelsea to form the rebellious "Ba Mba, Black Sheep" line, which cause the pair (and nursery rhyme) to be rechristened as "Ba Mba Multicultural Sheep with Ebony Wool." Chelsea then add Sol Bamba, forming the trio "Ba Mba Bamba" to the confusion of Mexican folk singers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Until Demba gets sold to the Bundesliga and becomes Ba Hamberg.

      Delete
    2. He's also the percussionist in a folk group and is known as BA Maracas.

      Delete
    3. Little known fact, but early in his career--as a footballing babe, one could say--Ba played for Ramsbottom United, where his fans sang Ba Ram U.

      Delete
    4. They'll also be making inquiries about rBA from Aldershot.

      Delete
  42. PL Player Exchange News: Moral Bankruptcy, a portfolio managed by yours truly, is (at least briefly) ranked #50 in the US. I've hit the charts! One of them, anyway. 1,200ish overall. So not that big a deal. But for one shining moment, if I ignore the rest of the world as my fellow countrymen do so well...

    ReplyDelete
  43. If hes sold to Bucharest, he'll be BA Stauer'd

    gazzas on the wagon in the last chance salon. Good luck to him.he's not just another show off celebrity drunk he s got mental health problems and I wish him luck

    ReplyDelete
  44. Wonder if Bells was watching the ManU game yesterday? If so, she'd have enjoyed it (or at least the sight of M***inho in the stands!). BetFred and PaddyPower now paying out on a United title so pretty much done and dusted.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  45. Aardvaarks abuses in sausages probably, spider.

    A delicacy in Burkina faso, mind

    ReplyDelete
  46. Aardvarks anuses that should've read

    ReplyDelete
  47. What fucking sicko would abuse an aardvarks anus?

    ReplyDelete
  48. oh that's a chucklesome typo to start the day with.

    Are they any closer to solving the Shergar mystery?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21316921

      Delete
    2. thanks Jacks, i didn't realise we were at the 30th anniversary. Where do the years go?

      Delete
  49. Thank Christ.

    When I read the headline 'Pope Resigns' I feared the worst.

    Fortunately its just that old Nazi cunt in the Vatican.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blog, I would not have been surprised if he had resigned - failing to score against Barnet.

      As for the Aardvark's anus, look for South Africans with Welsh ancestry.

      Spider

      Delete
  50. Morning trot. its this Swype keyboard.quick but immaculate.. Issachar...inaccurate

    ReplyDelete
  51. Replies
    1. might take up religion for oatcakes on mass.
      del

      Delete
  52. Any truth in the rumour that Roman Abramovich has lined up Ratzinger to take over from Rafa at the Bridge? "We need a miracle to win the league, and he's just the man to deliver".


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  53. Peter Odemwingie has just been spotted pulling up outside the Vatican.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Has the pope resigned over the aardvark abuse scandal in the church?

    ReplyDelete
  55. Forget that, Balotelli for Pope?

    ReplyDelete
  56. All good candidates, Sven has probably got his C.V. in for consideration too.

    ReplyDelete
  57. I heard the pope was in fear for his life when he woke to find a findus beef lasagne on his pillow

    In other new, following the discovery of the bones of Richard III, scientists are searching beneath Tesco car park for his horse.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I whoever gets it, jt will be there in his pontiff outfit

    ReplyDelete
  59. I cannot see how posting about aardvarks anuses, whelks, Doggy Friedham, pie-shaped houses, Jafa cakes, the lack of photos of Mourinho on here etc etc can be seen as anything but intellectual. Brain dead indeed ....

    ReplyDelete
  60. Read somewhere the other day that when Di Matteo was sacked we were 3rd, 4 points of the then leaders Man City and now, though still 3rd, we are 16 points off the top, well done R*f*

    Anyhow I am looking forward to spending Valentines night with Mr BHB watching Chelsea in the Europa league.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RDM was so much of a one trick pony that he was mere minutes away from ending up in a Findus Lasagne

      Delete
  61. i'm still struggling with the idea that "anuses" is the plural of "anus". Aardvark's "arseholes" seems to fit better with sausages, as was the original subject matter.

    ReplyDelete
  62. If you’re looking for horses, you know where to Findus.

    ReplyDelete
  63. I can't understand why no-one got suspicious when they brought out the frozen Spaghetti BologNEIGHse variety.

    ReplyDelete
  64. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  65. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  66. Anus/arsehole the,debate rages on

    ReplyDelete
  67. I decided to spare you my more detailed considerations of this highly technical topic

    ReplyDelete
  68. 1951:
    Liverpool manager Steve Clarke on Sky Sports: "It is a game we come into with very little pressure on us as everyone in the country expects Liverpool to win. We come here, not in a great run of form, but the performances have been OK.
    ----------------------------------------

    Well, seeing as Rodgers is starting Suarez, ENrique, Henderson and Downing it does feel like SC/KD's team to the beeb.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. has Steve Clark taken the LFC job then? Is Rodgers gettin' the Vatican job?

      Delete
  69. Rodgers you cunt.

    Switched around my FFL team to bring in Sturridge and Sterling and you play neither.

    That settles it, the H2H jinx is too powerful. Next week I'm drafting in Galen Bale.

    Spuds wave your season goodbye.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Fuck fuck fuck..when you miss wiht 21 chances including a penalty..you just know the opposition are going to nick it with a late goal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AH, It was TWO late goals actually, but I assumed you kicked the telly in after WBA took the lead. Stat of the night - Liverpool 21 chances WBA 2 - the shot that led to the corner from which they scored their first goal. (That was immediately after they took the lead).

      Spider

      Delete
    2. Almost there Spider. Slammed the laptop shut at 1-0. I watch all liverpool games on the laptop as its a fully insured company laptop.

      Delete
    3. Apologies, AH I forgot you were stateside where rugby is football and football is soccer so seeing live soccer on the TV is pretty rare . Never mind about the laptop. A new one will probably cost half the price with twice the memory and three time the functionality.

      Spider

      Delete
  71. http://gifsforum.com/images/gif/other/grand/d9725936778ab9ee0449e064d542eea6.gif

    ReplyDelete
  72. Pope news from http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-21411304

    The Spanish daily El Mundo says Benedict XVI will be remembered as "God's sweeper" - the man who tried to resolve the "numerous problems of the Church that did so much harm to its image".

    ----
    So the Vatican played a 5-3-2? I figured he was more of an attacking wing-back who liked to bomb on, given his childhood pursuits. Somehow my mind ran to defensive midfielder as the next in line and I immediately pictured Gattuso. That'd keep people from messing with the church...

    ReplyDelete
  73. Breaking news: New Pope named

    Pope 'Arry has extensive experience turning around floundering operations, as well as skill in covering up shady financial dealings. (His finances will be managed by one "Rosie".) The new Pope plans to bring a selection of colleagues with him to the Vatican, including Cardinal Crouch, and Archbishops Jenas and Defoe. He also plans to work closely with Rabbi Ben Haim. His wife will be in charge of converting the masses, given that even she could do that.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Shocking Pope News:

    Two final candidates emerge: Poprah and Sepp Blatter. One punny, one not the least bit humorous.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Holloway2Holland....
    and Liverpool are still within touching distance.and if they win their next two games could leapfrog their neighbours (albeit with one extra game played)
    ==============================================
    H2 you bastard.
    In the name of all things holy, please refrain from putting Bale in your FFl team. He has single handedly been winning me my games.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry AH, my voodoo powers are growing and have to be focused.

      I've decided to use my gift for the good of man and goonerkind, this means that the Simean must be destroyed. I've done my research by watching all the Planet of the Apes films, yes, even the terrible one with Marky Mark. I'm afraid I have no option.

      Bale will be a H2HFC player come next match day........

      If I make him captain his head will probably fall off.

      Delete
    2. If I make him captain his head will probably fall off.


      ooh Mr Voodoo, can you add in R*f* somewhere? I know he dosn't play, but then again he doesn't manage very well either?

      Delete
    3. Sorry Bells, Rafa is doing a fine job.

      I'll see what I can do about a contract extention.

      Delete
    4. well, I dropped Mata and brought in an ageing scouser named Stevie. As he had two home games this week I figured he'd likely chip in with a goal or two so I made him Captain, not quite eh, he goes and misses a fuckin' penalty. Sturridge was looking good for a bumper week too, if he doesn't feature in the next game then Joey O'Brien will come off the bench, he managed 23 minutes.

      Before they'd kicked a ball last night I'd already dropped Stevie for Bale so follow this plan at your own risk!

      Delete
    5. you can go off people you know .... :)

      Delete
    6. ooh sorry Trotts that was 'aimed' at H2 - contract extension pah



      Delete
    7. Maybe if we give him an eight-year contract his form will turn around.

      Delete
  76. Do you do requests H?

    Of course you do,former DJ and all that.

    ReplyDelete
  77. is there white smoke coming out of the Stamford Bridge chimney yet?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No Pot Pouri!

      (to be declaimed with an ian paisley accent - it is a little known fakt that paisley was obsessive about interior design and was as a consequence misunderstood throughout his political career...)

      Delete
    2. Pope Yuri? That was quick. Hope he doesn't bend all the crucifixes, hold up, what's the plural of crucifix?

      Delete
  78. Rodgers told Sky Sports: "The players gave everything. It was just one of those games with all those shots that we couldn't make the breakthrough.

    We've been on a terrific run."


    L´poo´s previous three games included two draws and a loss to Oldham.

    TERRIFIC

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When he says they've been on a terrific run,I assume that's what knackered them all out before last night's game.

      Making them run to Widnes and back,honestly....

      Delete
    2. he was using the remote past tense which is easily confused with the recent past tense in other words, we've been, in the not too distant past, but not recently, on a good run, not while ive been here obv, but when someone called paisley i think, not the one who was obsessive about interior decor, the other one, was here and when i say "we" i dont mean me or anyone connected to the club at present..

      Delete
    3. So when they say you'll never walk alone, they don't really know what the fuck they're talking about?

      Makes sense.

      Delete
    4. Smartasses all. he was talking about the last 3 games at Anfield. 3-0,4-0,5-0 against QPR, Norwich and I don't remember who respectively.

      Delete
    5. Then he should of said that.

      Yours pedanticaly.
      Smartarse
      NL.

      Delete
  79. Today I am 40 years old.I shall raise a glass to all 7 of us on here later.

    Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congratulations/Commiserations. Do you remember Ipswich winning the FA Cup?

      Spider

      Delete
  80. Happy Birthday. Sadly I am 41 next week so will only be the same age for a few days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheers Adam.

      Have a good day yourself next week.

      Delete
    2. Happy 40th Jacks, enjoy your day - just to be sociable,I will raise a glass to you tonight.

      I can assure you life does begin at 40 but sadly, in my experience, starts to fade rapidly by time you are 42 :)

      On brighter note, lots of coverage of the Yummy One in papers and telly, downside is our SKy Plus box has died on us so cannot watch the match OR tape the hour long special on him that was on last night, gutted.

      Delete
    3. Thank you ma'am.

      Bubbles for myself and Mrs Jack tonight.

      He's been no trouble since Michael Jackson left him to us in his will.

      Delete
  81. Back to football,Gillingham only getting a draw last night leaves Vale still top.

    Bloody glory hunter Blogidy....

    ReplyDelete
  82. I'm gutted that Southend dropped out of the playoff spots they choke every year it's ridiculous

    ReplyDelete
  83. Football's anti-racism chief has warned Liverpool's black players to be "cautious" in their Europa League match against Zenit St Petersburg.
    -----------------------
    No worries. They'll just be so happy to see Suarez, they won't really notice anyone else.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Happy Burfday Jacks. You will go down in history as the creator of Jacks Head-to-Head (I will personally edit your wiki page when you conk it).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheers AH.

      Should be an easy one to do. Born 13/2/73

      Cut hair.

      Did everything his wife told him.

      Created a football FFL to allow his lack of football knowledge to be demonstrated to all.

      Croaked it.

      Made Head to Head,now brown bread.

      Delete
  85. Happy Birthday Jacks. 'Jacks head to head', that's a great name for a barber shop!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheers Trotts.

      http://grammar.about.com/od/words/a/punnamestores_2.htm

      Here are some from the land of the free.

      My personal favourite was one I saw in Worcester called Hair Flick.

      'allo 'allo I thought,there's a good one.

      Delete
  86. Happy Birthdays Jacks and Adam

    times like mercury between your fingers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheers Blogidy.

      I used to enjoy the Sunday Mercury.

      Delete
    2. it just slips through your fingers (just like money when your kids are asking for some)

      Delete
  87. Missed a chance with "more late withdrawals than..." - I was hoping for "...than an Essex sex-ed class".

    ReplyDelete
  88. Happy Birthdays Jacks and Adam... another quote of blogdignagian proportions.

    Though I don't see how time fits inside a thermometer, nor what you were doing with Freddy.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Happy Birthday Jacks me ol' china.

    Life begins at 40, a new start............

    Well, if they meant that you start to get fatter, your eyesight starts to go, you start to lose your hair where you want to have it and start to grow it in places you don't, well then they were right.

    Otherwise they're lieing toerags.

    Many Happy Returns.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're lying toerags. That all starts long before 40.

      Delete
  90. Adam, even though I'm over 40, I still have some control and do not (yet) suffer from premature congratulations.

    I'll wait until your day comes. (oops)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. me too but you'd better post reminders!

      Delete
    2. Indeed, over 40's suffer from memory loss and sometimes the inability to finish off what they sta.........

      Delete
    3. H, speak for yerself, I've never had that probl

      Delete
    4. Er ... forgot what I was going to say


      Jedi

      PS before I forget happy birthday Jacks, and in case I do, happy birthday Adam

      Delete
  91. Frank Lampard has been signed up for a book deal for children’s stories ‘based on friends and team-mates’.

    Bloody hell, Childline will be busy.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Once upon a time, John went round to Wayne's house....

    ReplyDelete
  93. It was sunny day and the sky was blue as the second stripe of the Russian flag. Roman had £50 million burning a hole in his pocket..

    ReplyDelete
  94. Little Ashley was in a spot of bother. He hadn't MEANT to shoot the Apprentice...

    ReplyDelete
  95. The boy catches the ball.

    Good catch, ballboy!

    Look! Here comes Eden....

    ReplyDelete
  96. Meanwhile young Mikel who spoke as much English as Tevez heard naughty words from the baddie (baddies always wear black)

    ReplyDelete
  97. Tevez, or Carless, as he's also known due to having his licence suspended.

    ReplyDelete
  98. LOL..

    Spanish cyclist Jesus Manzano has said he was given dog, cattle and horse medicines so often by Eufemiano Fuentes, that the doctor told him ''some days you are barking and other days you are mooing''.


    not forgetting the fundus lasagne impersonations

    ReplyDelete
  99. Last summer Franky got a new teacher, Mr House Snakes. He was a bad man and didn't let Franky and the older boys play kick ball, so they all ganged up on him and sent him away to the crappy school on the other side of the villidge. Serves him right.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Adan, Pepe, Kaka, Carvalho, Essien, Modric, Higuain.
    -------------
    Hells bells (not blue)..that's just the Madrid bench. How on earth are they 11 pts off Barca ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The same reason why Man Citeh and the Chavs are way off Manure.

      Money can buy you the best players, but not necessarily the best team.

      Delete
    2. True, but I would submit that Jose is closer to being a SAF than a Mancini or Rafa/Di Matteo/AVB etc etc

      Delete
  101. More enlightened math from Rodgers, answering a question on Zenit and their coach:
    ----------
    "He's been here for a few years, they've won two consecutive titles, they play an offensive game, a 4-4-3, and have got attacking qualities."
    --------------------
    4-4-3 ? And they still managed to drop out of the CL group stage ?

    ReplyDelete
  102. Gotta laugh at all the Manure players crying at the ref because he blew the final whistle before they could take their corner.

    Fergie time obviously doesn’t translate to CET.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Wow.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-21431678

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'disposable penis'

      A shoo in for the position of Chelsea manager.

      Delete
  104. Better late than never, but Happy Birthday Jacks. Hope it was a good one. I agree with Stephen though - I was 33 a few weeks ago and my hair line has been receding and my waistline expanding since I turned 30.

    Good game at the Bernabau tonight. Still all to play for, as Real should score at OT. Can't believe Kid n Play scored. He's worse than useless.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Cheers Noel,and all the others above for their kind remarks.

    I had an up and down birthday.

    On the plus side I got a years subscription to Cycling Weekly and a hotel room for the night in York when the Frances de la Tour starts there next year.

    On the minus side I got hit by a car driving home from work.The guy lost control in the snow going down a hill.C'est la vie,these things happen.no-one was hurt.My grumble however is that my insurance company are providing me with a hire car which will be paid for by the other person's insurance.The cheeky twats are charging his insurance company £500 a week.You could hire an Aston Martin for that.No wonder everyone's insurance is so bloody high.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Oscar Pistorius shoots his girlfriend.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-21455453

    Maybe he thought she was a replicant?

    (too early?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it goes to court Jacks, he won't have a leg to stand on

      (never too early for bad tastes jokes)

      Hope you enjoyed birthday despite accident

      Delete
    2. It was lovely thanks Bells.

      Went out for a family meal at a local village pub and sampled a small glass of something.

      Delete
  107. He hasn't got a leg to stand on.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Banks and insurance companies make the mafia look like naughty schoolboys jacks. rip off bastardy run riot. Wear suits so it's ok innit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not forgetting SKY (-high price) satellite TV

      Delete
    2. On subject of insurance we know of people - who may or may not actually be us - who had leak in flat roof of conservatory, insurance refused to pay to fix it (probably £200-£300) but did say they would replace the blinds, genuine quote for blinds £2000 .....

      Delete
  109. OK Bloggy you got in there just before me :)

    ReplyDelete
  110. Haha best you to the punch bells. At least we were both in the first 10,000 to make that joke. Possibly.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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