Wednesday, 27 March 2013

England Has Stopped Expecting

Last night's experience as an England fan felt like so many others. For the last ten years England have specialised in squandering one-goal leads. Instead of carrying the fight forward after the interval the boys in white retreat to the edge of the penalty box and stand there like so many penyatas and the
opposition batter them til they cough up their goodies.

Last night reached new levels of bipolarity. For 45 minutes, England zipped the ball about with no little precision. There was the usual mixture of pass and move from off the Man U training ground and the occasional aimless lump up the park.

But Brnovic's chippy assumption that England would be scared proved unfounded. The Montenegran manager piggy black eyes seemed devoid of answers. Worse still, Wayne Rooney was having a good day.

Then came half-time. Lord knows what Roy said to his players.

Perhaps it was "don't fuck this up, boys!" Or maybe "be afwaid, be very afwaid!" Or simply "whey-heyyyy 1-0!!! Great wesult lads!!! Who's off for a Balkan bevvy?... What? Another half? Oh bugger!"

Whatever it was, the team - the same team, mind you, unless the power of top Premier League clubs means that Hodgson is forced to play replicants in the second half in order to save their stars for Saturday - came out and played really fucking badly.

Some credit must go to Brnovic for changing it round at half-time and stifling Johnson and Cole's progress. But hellfire it was hardly a stroke of genius. What was baffling was the fact that Hodgson seemed incapable or recognising how bad his team were. I was surprised to see Cleverley substituted because I'd forgotten he was on the park. (He's starting to annoy me that lad. It all looks nice
enough but he achieves nowt.)

To me the player that typifies Hodgson's England is James Milner. Now you can't fault the lad's work-rate. He goes through a pair of bollocks every game. But my God you just screamed out for someone with a bit of wit to be out on the right.

Time and again he fired a cross along the six-yard box. Hard, low and hopeful. Even Theo Walcott or Aaron Lennon, headless chickens both, might have had a little look and picked someone out.

Nevertheless, there is something relentlessly worthy about Milner. He's like a sheepdog, but less inclined to think for himself.

All sorts of things annoyed me about that match. By the end I felt like I'd spent the night dodging crumpled balls of paper, picking up bog rolls, wandering through the acrid smoke thrown up by flares, or simply standing by some bloke with a mike in his and and a voice like the gaping maw of hell. That bloke made me hanker for the tranquil days of 2010 and the vuvuzuela. If he'd have been standing next to me that microphone lead would've be acting like an enema on his innards. (Not pretty but very fair.

Every time Hart took a goal-kick he pinged it out towards Milner and Montenegro got a throw-in. That supposed penalty England should've got was denied them because Welbeck went for the Stevie G swan-dive. Try and score a goal you great nelly!

And then there's the perennial problem with Hodgson's England that when in doubt they simply sit on the edge of their box and hoof it back to the opposition over and over and OVER AGAIN! Like some namby-pamby student protest in the late 70s.

In the light of the first 20 minutes of the second half, the only question was who would Roy bring on?

Perhaps Scott Parker could go on and throw himself in front of Vucinic for thirty minutes. Oxlade-Chamberlain to give England a little more devil? Jermain Defoe to see whether a greedy goal-hanger could grab that second goal? Well, I tell you what, Roy, ANYBODY would have done. Nobody was not an option.

While Brnovic chucked on forward after forward, Roy stood there tweaking his bottom lip like a kid wondering if he might be able to nip over the neighbour's fence and get his ball back.

Now I like Roy. He's straightforward, honest, and not inclined to get too excited or too down-hearted. Nevertheless it's disheartening to hear him say that that was 'not a bad result'. After the first half it was a terrible result - and more to the point a terrible performance.

If I hear Gerrard, in that post-match whine of his, say 'we didn't keep hold of the ball well enough' one more time I'm going to throw myself into a vat of beer and never emerge. It's not a bad way to go. In fact, throw Hayley Atwell in after us and I'll take it.

The fact is England have been like this as a team for bloody years. All the expectation - bloated by the fact that our lads play in the best League in the world even though only Cole, Gerrard and Hart can hold down a starting place on a regular basis - has been frittered away.

Hodgson has carried on where Capello and Eriksson have left off. Team after team lack the courage or confidence to seea game through, to kill the opposition off. It's like watching Aston Villa sometimes.

At half time yesterday I just sat back and waited for the inevitable retreat. Only when England have been unmanned by a sending-off or the tag of underdogs do they ever put in a proper shift - and even then that's your bog-standard heroic failure.

I'm sure they're fed up of it. I bloody well am.

The only option is the German model - bring in a whole new array of young lads. Let them have four years together. Keep the same coach over that time, regardless. See what we end up with. It cannot be worse than what we have. Can it?





94 comments:

  1. Well done for not finishing with "But at least we're not Scotland". I'm scottish and i would have!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I suspect it can get a lot worse. Whilst it would work in theory (we do alright in under 21s - even with pearce as manager)it wont stop the media hyping up then drumming down these players after every match. Then you have another generation of players tense, nervous and still unable to do the most basic of footballing tasks - pass the ball to a team mate.

    Any thoughts on the cricket or is it just football only now?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Enjoyable as ever, Robbo.

    Your assessment of Cleverly, "It all looks nice
    enough but he achieves nowt" sums up the squad as a whole.

    I'm in favor of the wholesale changes you mention at the end, but then again, it isn't my national team. I'm still praying Dempsey and Donovan (sabbatical, my ass) stick around until we find someone to replace them. Which may be never.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "It all looks nice enough but he achieves nowt" could/should also apply to Mr. Landon Donovan. For all the hype surrounding this fellow, what has he really achieved?

      MLS Legend. For sure, dude, but really not that much in the big football picture.

      ELP Curiosity or Hypocrite? Remember, he bitched about Beckham, then did exactly the same thing when given the chance.

      2x Bundesliga bench warmer. Rockin' like Dokken.

      Thanks for another thought provoking article, Robbo, and cheers to all

      Delete
    2. "Landon Donovan. For all the hype surrounding this fellow, what has he really achieved?"

      Agreed. He hasn't done nearly enough at club level. However, at national level, we need him.

      Delete
    3. True, he is one of the brighter stars of the current US National team. He along with Dempsey and a few others have raised the level of the US's international game to a competitive level. When the US does wins, it is no longer a fluke or such a freak event.

      Delete
  4. Just missed out on a medal! Great Blog Robbo. I only saw the second half and couldn't believe how bad we were. What is the Montenegran for, "Fourth in the world you're having a laugh"?

    Spider

    ReplyDelete
  5. Who was it who mentioned the manager transfer window? Surely it wasn't an original idea from the Robbo blog crew...

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21957534

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i think you should be appointed as chief researcher Stephen and go back a few weeks and find the answer to your question. Obviously Paul Ince is a regular reader of Robbo, we'll have to see what ideas he comes up with next! Pie shaped houses on Blackpool prom?

      Delete
  6. Good stuff Robbo. Frustrating indeed considering we could have been 3 up in 20 minutes. How Rooney missed that fuckin' chip I'll never know, 24 feet wide that goal mouth and 8 foot fuckin' high. Johnson shite. Woy's response to the changing tactics of Montenegro was also inept until finally he let Stevie G have his head and he could have had 3 goals in the last ten minutes. Ashley gave the ball away too often, all in all fuckin' rubbish but not a setback at all, the road to glory still stretches before us, the glorious day is coming!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ruined my day that second half did. The defence was shakey. Lessor and smalling looked like the reserve players they are for club and country. Johnson has one good game in three. Cole has the benefit of the growing doubt. Stevie punting it up the park looking for the elusive Hollywood pass and usually looking like a pub player. The rest of the midfield running around like headless chickens. Terrible brainless leaderless performance. Gerrard has moments of brilliance but he's no leader and he gave the ball away even in the first half time and time again. I'm with you Robbo, play the kids we can't possibly win with the ageing premiership foot soldiers so let's lose with pride.

    But not yet. Wait until we scrape through the qualifiers. Then lose with pride.

    It's torture watching England.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most of that's fair enough, Blogs, but ... Johnson has one good game in 3? It's nowhere near that often!


      Jedi

      Delete
  8. What we needed was an experienced CB. Rio ferdinand perhaps?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He'd forget to turn up, due to something really important, like a shopping trip, or a TV pundit's role.


      Jedi

      Delete
  9. http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/football-further-blog/2013/mar/26/rushing-young-england-players-team-international


    This article argues against promoting younger players too quickly

    ReplyDelete
  10. If they're good enough, they're old enough but part of that equation also includes stamina and attitude (dealing with the pressure and the emotions) and sometimes those attributes don't develop until they're older. Wilshere is a good example of a lad that has it all. Sterling, Zaha, Welbeck are good examples of kids that don't have it yet.

    ReplyDelete
  11. i'm supporting Holland from now on.

    Gave mijn fiets terug!

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  12. Platini is being a pillock again!

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  14. ok, it's simple, Platini needs to get together with the halogen cooker guy and they'll have a very inexpensive solution. the halogen beam shield, when interrupted by the touch of a football at precisely one full football's diameter behind the goal line, will trigger a scream of goooooooooooooooooooal in the ref's ear piece.

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  20. Nice obituary in the independent today of billy bell, former vale chairman who worked with John ridge in the days we were in the second tier and stoke were in the third. Happy days.

    a Stoke fanzine described Bell as "dedicated to making Vale the No 1 team in the Potteries." It continued: "Bill also wants to find the lost city of Atlantis, be the first man to walk the Channel and skateboard up Mount Everest."

    ReplyDelete
  21. Must win match for vale today.

    ReplyDelete
  22. if Rio was a white supremacist nazi skinhead there would still have been calls for him to be hung drawn quartered burned racked chopped into little pieces and served to Dr. Lecter. If the fans are disappointed because he turned his back on England, let them sing about it but it's fuck all to do with race based on the evidence so far presented. No offense intended to any white supremacist nazi skinheads, you degenerate twats!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Excellent comments Trotter.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Tom pope scores a hat trick. 5 point cushion over 4th...surely...

    Bournemouth nearly filled the away end at Col u and despite diving all over the place were good for 1-0. It's s strangely flat experience watching a game as a neutral.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I just want rio to Fuck off now, trot, he's trying to engineer a face saving retreat from internationals including is it because I is black

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree and if I was in Woy's shoes, besides my feet hurting, I'd never ask Rio near the team again. Can Tom Pope play centre half?

      Delete
  26. http://www.footytube.com/news/guardian/robbie-rogers-why-coming-out-as-gay-meant-i-had-to-leave-football-L22937?ref=hp_trendian

    Nice article and a courageous man. thoughts?

    --BeeZee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2116058/Justin-Fashanu-gay-says-John-Fashanu.html

      hmmmm

      Delete
    2. Read it through BBC links, too. Follow-up from a little while ago. Not a surprise that he isn't comfortable around his homophobic peers, and it would definitely be worse in front of the unwashed, ignorant masses. (And I don't mean England's back four.)

      Wish he felt he had the support to be out and stay in the game. What will it take?

      On the bright side, since we now embrace players of different races, cultures, and religions, I'm sure everything will turn out just peachy...

      Delete
  27. Alleged Ferdinand racist chants 'hearsay' - fan group

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21974280

    Uh... yes... in that we heard you say them.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Chelsea supporter though I may be, I'd like to take a moment to wish a hearty 'Chag Sameach' to my Tottenham brethren.

    And if you don't know what that means and why I'm saying it, stop using the term Yids.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, we do, and others can probably use an internet translator like you, Mr Smarty Galoshes? Others less interested might make an educated guess based on the time of year.

      As I don't see your point, I ask, "Why are you saying this?" A desire to display your intellectual or religious superiority? Anger? Frustration? You're just a right twat at 2:06 in the morning? Financial woes got you down? Multiple online dating services turned you down because they couldn't find a match? Or did JT or the Easter Bunny give your best girl a toss? I don't think Roman wants to take over the term, Yids, to be used to refer to his Chelsea. And how are we brethren? Associates or an acquaintance, maybe. The use of the colour blue doesn't make us brethren either.

      That said, it was nice to see David Rocastle remembered yesterday at The Emirates. That's a class quote they used, as it rises above any football based partisanship IMHO.

      שלום־עליכם to one and all.

      Delete
  29. this has caused a lot of trouble... rios is it cos I is black high profile complaint about a probably apocryphal chant which even if out did happen doesn't seem to me to have anything to do with race anyway, has been linked by the gormless FA to the No Surrender chant which I didn't know about, has no discernable racist component ..although you may disagree with the politics and appropriacy of apparently chanting anti-ira slogans at a football match...SO they've made a potentially big problem -a mountain of crowd trouble in the match vs Ireland, out of the mile hill of Rios stupid self-serving tweets.

    Nobs.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Stephen, on the gay footballer I think it's a pity the culture of football it's still 1950s. I think it's changing, but the managers and chairmen are often old blokes or from backwards cultures, sexually speaking, like Russia or the middle east...footballers want to get to the top and understandably don't want to risk drawing the wrong sort of attention and becoming icons for something which has nothing to do with football. Add to that the big brother aspect of any group of men working together..the paradox of self interest in a team environment, where your ability to succeed individually depends on the success of collective endeavour, will always act against anyone wanting to be the 'first'. The experience of Justin fashanu with Brian Clough ('bloody poofter) and his Nob head brother John -who is still denying to anyone who will listen that Justin was even gay- is another warning shot.

    inevitably gay footballers in England are so deeply in the closet they're in fucking Narnia. It will take a couple of then to confess whilst theirs still plaguing to start to change things 'Paul Scholes confesses : I'm as camp as Christmas' ... 'Jack Wishere admits secret love affair with Luis Suarez' for that to change.

    Ten years from now, Mayfair will happen. Then, Eleven years from now, no one will give a toss (except fascists and catholic priests)

    ReplyDelete
  31. I don't blame Rio after having watched England's 2nd half against the M'Negroes. Even I wouldn't play with half that team, and though I support the red half of Manchester, get rid of Cleverly SAF.

    The guy does run around like a headless gormless chicken (is he even a footballer?) who thinks he is the next Paul Scholes. In my book, Stupidly is not even qualified to lick Schole's boots, never mind replacing him. But then, I suppose those are the qualities one needs to be selected to "play" for England -- they might as well stay in their hotel room and play pocket-billiards. Good thing we aren't like the South Americans -- there is no better incentive than the fear of being shot with an AK47 to make you perform and win.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He doesn't think he is the next Paul Scholes but he is trying hard to emulate him and at least he does something more than hit a 40 yard pass to the opposing full-back which is Stevie G's trademark with England. He just needs to have more of and product but will come good. Who do you want instead Lee Cattermole?

      Delete
  32. The Mulumbu red card is hilarious. He had obviously accepted a contract to take out O'Neill.

    But the craziest of the day's news ?? 2 goals for Andy Carroll. We may still get a couple of bucks for him.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Fuckin ell...2 assists and a goal for Gervinho as well today.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh No, No O'Neill

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21985808

    ReplyDelete
  35. I know there are supposedly no good English youngsters and their development is stunted because of all the foreign talent, etc. etc., but three of the NextGen Cup semifinalists and both finalists are English sides. Of course the tournament doesn't mean all that much, but given that one fourth of the teams entered are from the Premier League, you must be doing something right.

    Aston Villa v Chelsea for the final on Monday. One gets relegated (so this is next season's first team) and the other buys in all their players (so none of these players ever make the first team there).

    ReplyDelete
  36. England suffer under Hodgson because there is no adventure in his tactics and he seems unable to respond when other teams seize control of the game, a bit like O'Neil at Sunderland. He's gone and unless we qualify for Brazil, Then Woy needs to join him and we need to get an enthusiastic, tactically aware and adventurous young manager in

    Nigel Adkins springs to mind somehow

    ReplyDelete
  37. I believe what you posted was very reasonable. But, think about this, what if you were to write a killer headline?
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  38. funny that, I thought the headline was good, what with the history and the association and the fact that knowing what it meant lends power to the headline.Nothing like a subtle brick to the head, eh!

    ReplyDelete
  39. haha robbo patronised by a Chinese bot.. I assume it's all about google search listings?

    ReplyDelete
  40. wtf Easter day and it's snowing?

    ReplyDelete
  41. Guess Wot? On my annual visit to twitter just now I twoke with rba n gazutd!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Another less than spectacular FFL week. Hopefully Berbatov has an awful game or Trotts will have me beat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it'll be tough for Berbatov up against that reinforced QPR wall.

      Delete
  43. Di Canio appointed Sunderland boss.
    --------------------------
    Couldn't have asked for anything more in terms of entertainment.

    ReplyDelete
  44. From midnight, I'm a civilian.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. whaddaya mean blog? Early retirement? Are you gonna take up golf (when yer arm is healed)?

      Delete
  45. DiCanio at Sunderland.what can it mean?

    ReplyDelete
  46. I'm beginning to think Blog and Fergie are the same person. They speak mystically but occasionally sensibly, if not always coherently. Knowledgeable and successful, though at what is not always clear. Never seen in the same place.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I didn't leave the fire service, trot, the fire service left me.

    20 years before I can retire, though. SAF can't really say the same, Stephen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. no probably 30 and by then they'll have invented cloning so he'll just download himself and Giggsy into clones and keep going

      Delete
    2. Fergie'll get sacked when they suffer their 40 year relegation, it's due in 2014.

      Delete
  48. id rather chop my arm off than take up golf, trot. and id rather chop my head off than take up self mutilation as a hobby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's ok, you can change your mind, you don't have to make a decision now!

      Delete
  49. I'm going to miss squirting water and smashing things up but I've seen enough death and destruction to last me a millennium

    ReplyDelete
  50. He'll be a frozen head plugged into a comouter like Albert Finney in Cold Lazarus

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. or his head'll explode as soon as goal line technology disallows a Man U equaliser.

      Delete
  51. 7a...

    "As I don't see your point, I ask, "Why are you saying this?" A desire to display your intellectual or religious superiority?" (and so on...)

    Firstly, I call Tottenham fans 'brethren' knowing that some of you are Jewish, too. I'd be happy to join your minyan if I ever make it from the States to a match, as I believe religious fellowship trumps sporting rivalries. I didn't need a translator for my comment, and I won't need one to pray with you in Hebrew before said match, if you're so inclined. Admittedly, my conversational Hebrew is a wee bit rusty--okay, nonexistent--so English will have to do.

    I don't claim to be superior to anyone. However, I don't appreciate those who don't understand Jewish culture appropriating it for their own purposes. The same would go for any other aspect of anyone's culture, but I don't claim to be as familiar with cultures not my own. When you are part of a minority group whose ancestors were subjected to hate, persecution, and extermination based on a shared aspect of their identity, you don't really enjoy when others--even those who also share that identity--use derogatory terms like those, even as if to 'reclaim' them. The hate hasn't ended, and shouting about it at matches isn't helping.

    Even if we can feed the Three Lions to the lions or literally crucify you after a loss, I'm still not up for it.

    Your humble opinion about remembering David Rocastle was spot on and well said. What preceded it was not.

    ReplyDelete
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