Monday, 10 June 2013

Feats of Clay

There was a time when I found the French Open tennis tournament a really dull spectacle. Lots of Southern Europeans (or Swedes) pattering around through the dirt and looping enormously high shots back and forth at each other so that the net became an irrelevance. Points that lasted millennia. Whole days lost to it monotonous routines. Occasionally you'd almost believe that the volley had been outlawed from the game. What with that and French television's relentless search for an artsy-fartsy cut-away of a ball bouncing on a surface the colour of an Geordie lass's Saturday-night skin, or a sweat-band brushed across a lank-haired pate, and the whole thing made me yearn for the football season to hurtle back into view as soon as possible.

Of course nowadays a serve-and-volleyer on any surface is eyed with suspicion, as if the poor thing has been swept up in a trawler-net like one of them fishes we thought were extinct. But baseline rallies have also become much more compulsive - extraordinary slugfests punctuated by startling angles and brutal hitting.

There's no doubt that they wouldn't have managed this sort of stuff in the days of wooden racquets and no sitting down between points. With these new bats I swear you could hit a serve around a street corner with no great difficulty.

Nevertheless it's hard to believe that we have ever witnessed tennis of the sort of standard offered up by the likes of Nadal, Djokovic and, increasingly rarely, Federer. Of course clay is as natural a playground for Nadal as it was for Demi Moore in Ghost. There is something about that topspin forehand of his that makes you wonder whether it could remove your head with one swipe, like a grizzly bear's forepaw.

After outlasting Jockey-Itch in the latest chapter of a series of quite ludicrously long matches between the big four (yes, Murray does count), he then took on Ferrer in the final. Ferrer has lots of qualities  to admire: speed, stamina, fitness. But not power. Like Dido's voice, the harder he pushed it, the weedier he looked. It began to look like Nadal was playing against a child-sized version of himself.  Rafa Max v Rafa Lite.

Ferrer talked afterwards about how he needed to be more aggressive on court when he played the Majorcan marvel but frankly it wouldn't have made much of a difference had he secreted a Kalashnikov down his pants, Rara would still have been pleased to see him. This latest triumph, achieved after eight months out with a very nasty injury, is enough to officially crown Nadal as not so much the King of Clay as its Eternal Emperor.

There's a facile argument going round that Rafa can now claim to be better than Federer. On clay, yes. But not everywhere, and to be fair Federer is not the power he was. But he is utterly phenomenal - and a nice man too, bless 'im.

The day before, a woman who can fairly lay claim to be the finest sportswoman in the world right now won her second French Open title. Serena Williams is a curious cove, isn't she? No matter how complimentary and polite she is in post-match interviews there's a radiant arrogance to her that underpins everything.

I don't know about you but I don't consider that a bad thing. She's won 16 titles now and she too has overcome injury and personal sadness to get there. You might say there's a lack of subtlety to her game. There's often the insinuation that she lacks femininity - you know, like that lezza Navratilova did. Take Sharapova's comment on the Serena serve: "I think if I was built like Serena, I hope I'd be able to hit a big serve like that, too." Hard not to hear a 'miaow' in there, eh?

I'd simply respond by saying that if Maria could actually get here second serves in occasionally it might just even things up a little. (Nails in, girlfriend!)

The fact is that Serena Williams, like Navratilova before her, is an utterly fantastic tennis player. Really bloody wonderful. I'm aghast that she doesn't quite get the credit it deserves, except from John McEnroe who is relentlessly positive about her.

It all sets up Wimbledon rather nicely. No one's going to beat Serena there either, but in the men's... well you know the lad Muzza. Remember him? Well, he's got a chance this year. A big chance. Just hope and pray he's not in the same half as Nadal. Or Djokovic. Or both.

On a different note, Stuart Pearce has been lamenting the absentees from his labouring England Under-21 squad and you can't help but sympathise. England have always treated the under-21's as a stepping stone to the full squad. It's not the real thing. Never mind that you'll have young lads playing tournament football - probably against players that they'll be playing at senior level for years to come.

Pearce is right to be frustrated. He's wrong to persist with tired old methods of playing football that make Hodgson's Dark Ages look like a halcyon day of summer. But, just for once, it'd be nice if we tried to win one of these gongs. Like Germany did, when that Meszut Ozil ran the show. Mind you, look what happened to him, eh?

137 comments:

  1. Well saw your tweet "The final was R*f* Max v R*f* Lite" Robbo's new blog ...... and thought NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    he can't possibly have done a whole blog on Chelseas departed Interim manager and STILL no photo of the Special One but 'relieved' to see it was on tennis

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure you can find pix of JM if you need your fix, Bells.


      Jedi

      Delete
  2. good stuff Robbo, ain't no sportswoman that drops F bombs on the line judge! She's a fuckin good tennis player but not best sportswoman in the world by any stretch.

    I'm sick of tennis already, I saw at least 4 minutes on Saturday! I'd rather watch re-runs of England U21 games!

    ReplyDelete
  3. if andy murray wants to win anything, he needs to take a leaf out of seren's book and dress up as if he's a girl

    can anyone explain (to someone else, im not interested) how come nadal is unbeatable on clay but couldnt beat tim henman on grass. if the balls slower on clay, then its slower for everyone. does he get hayfever, or do performance enhancing drugs not work in the viscinity of the colour green? (now theres a miaow)

    finally. stuart pearce was right to moan about missing the talented players. he was dead wrong to do it before the match which was tantamount to lining them up pointing at them one by one and doing a david brent...youre good enough to play for england.... youre good enough to play for england... you, er...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks to blog, I now I have the rather amusing vision of Stuart Pearce doing the David Brent dance..."der-de-duh-duh-duh-der".

      Delete
  4. I, too, was confused. I never realized the Napoli man played tennis.

    I'd like to see mixed tournaments in tennis. Methinks Serena, on her best could work her way through a chunk of the ranked men. Not the top tier, I suppose, but quite a few below it. Then again, I care less about tennis than cricket, which puts it in perspective.

    I'm such a terrible American.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...on the other hand, Stephen has given me the less than pleasant vision of "Serena,...working her way through a chunk of the ranked men". Yeeewwww...

      Delete
  5. Nice one RR.

    Tennis, not really my thing, I mean it just isn't cricket is it? Not that that would matter as I'm not really fond of cricket either. Anyhow, once a year I can tolerate the game, but that's when Wimbledon comes around and as rain stops play more often then not, I usually quickly lose the little interest I could muster up.

    Stuart Pearce, meh!!, U21 competitie, double meh!! Who really gives a rat arse? It's just a regurgated version of the U20's, U19's or U18"s that Fifa/Uefa puke up every year or so, farcical. Physco moaning about missing talent? Pah, it's his job to find more, that's all he has to do, find players under 21 and get them ready to play in a no mark tournament once every so often, what's there to moan about?

    He's moaning about losing his best eligible players to the senior team, duhhh, isn't that kind of the whole point, they are in essence the B Team, if the players are good enough for the A Team then that's where they should be, not fannying around at a lesser level.

    Stuart Pearce is only concerned about Stuart Pearce and nothing else, otherwise he'd get off his arse, stop bitching and do his job. It all goes back to grass roots and devolpment which in the U.K even though it may have improved is still miles behind it's counterparts here in Europe. But hey, why look for answers when it's much easier to blame the evils of the Premier League and all those foriegners coming over and taking all the chances that should be given to the young English lads?

    I mean all the English lads that don't make it at home can always go play abroad, eh? You only have to look at all the English lads plying their trade in the Bundesliga, Serie A, La Liga, De Ere Divisie or Ligue 1............. What, Oh there aren't hardly any there either.

    Well that tells you all you need to know, Mr Physco.

    Stop fucking crying and do something about it, as an England coach you surely have the ears of the decision makers at the F.A. use that power for the good of the game rather then your own personal agenda, otherwise shut the fuck up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes of course our best U21 players should be playing in/sat watching a meaningless friendly in Brazil rather than playing in tournament football and trying to win a trophy, that is what the best teams do... Oh wait! No it isn't, try telling countries like Germany, Spain, Italy & Russia that if an U21 player is good enough for the senior team they shouldn't be fannying about with the U21s. A couple of the Russian team actually played for the senior team and then immediately rushed to Israel to join up with the U21s and I believe a number of the senior Spanish side who won the Euros (or the World Cup, one or other) then played in the U21 tournament that followed. Who has had more recent success at senior level - Spain, Germany & Italy or England? So who does it suggest has a better development programme for their young players?

      It would be good to see more young players going abroad to find their opportunity at senior level, but then I don't think as many foreign countries are quite so keen to bring in foreigners at the expense of local talent. Holland may be a good bet as they have a history of developing good foreign talent alongside their own but English footballers at all ages don't appear to settle well on the continent and too many appear to have already settled on earning stupid money for sitting on the bench at a mid level English club over earning less for playing and learning abroad.

      Delete
  6. Gareth Southgate is tipped to take over the role of England Under-21 coach if Stuart Pearce is sacked.

    Full story: The Sun


    Yeah, that will solve all their problems.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I too let out a silent groan on reading that.

      Delete
    2. Was it as silent as the one when he stepped up to take penalty number 6 in Euro'96

      I'd never heard so much disappointment before a penalty kick never mind after

      Delete
    3. Was it as silent as the one when he stepped up to take penalty number 6 in Euro'96

      I'd never heard so much disappointment before a penalty kick never mind after

      Delete
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  8. cacklechortlecrowexultguffawhee-hawlaughsmilesnickersniggersniggleteeheetitter

    ReplyDelete
  9. he's no longer the Special One Bells, he's the "Happy One". He'll be the Grumpy One soon enough! Hi ho, hi ho.

    ReplyDelete
  10. What do we want?
    Hearing aids!
    When do we want them?
    Hearing aids!

    ReplyDelete
  11. What do we want?
    Hearing aids.
    When do we want them?
    I said HEARING AIDS!

    ReplyDelete
  12. ohhh, cheering maids are always welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Fearing Blades? Is that what the youngsters are saying about their loan options?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Great blog Robbo.

    G'day everyone.

    Whatever happened to Dido?

    Tennis is an irrelevance to me.

    Bloody spambots.

    That concludes my comment.

    ReplyDelete
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  16. "Damp cigaret" is:

    a) The name of a 1980s satirical Czech folk band
    b) The next foreign youngster to sign for Arsenal
    c) A damp squib that eventually causes cancer
    d) A post you optimistically thought would add to the conversation but was in reality spambot droppings.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Fuck this Robbo!!! A blog on tennis???? Has the world gone CRAZY???? Surely a blog on mourinho, moyes, city even a one on djibouti's national football team would suffice??? It's just not football ROBBO!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Tennis is for ageing middle class ladies with social pretentions but tiny minds.

    football on the other hands is for interlektchewalls like me

    what does the panel think of this latest installment in the on going self-flagellating jeremiad which is the selfpitying lament over the state of englands young footballers. poor old rodwell he's a case in point of the wasteage of talent amongst young english players..

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/england/10111688/Jack-Rodwells-England-handling-shames-Roy-Hodgson-Stuart-Pearce-and-the-Football-Association.html

    thats right because he had to go to man city and sit on the bench for big money didnt he. every rich society and lets face it we're rich, we just like to cultivate a large impoverished under class as a ongoing christian project to outsource the sins of the world

    the logical conclusion of course is to beat this soft sense of indolent entitlement out of our young footballers, keep them half starved like the Spartans did and then dress them in a loincloth send them out into the wilderness armed only with a knife to kill Anne Widdecombe

    then and only then will we win the world cup

    ReplyDelete
  19. every rich society and lets face it we're rich....

    meant to say... every rich society throughout history has become soft lazy corrupt and complacent

    ReplyDelete
  20. Does the choice of captain affect a team's ability to win ?

    England seniors - Stevie G (LFC)
    England U21s - Jordan Henderson (LFC)
    England U20s - Connor Coady (LFC)

    Nah..can't be the choice of captain then. Must be something else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha...Henderson benched for this one as Pearce gives a chance for youngsters to play this dead rubber. Captain's armband passes on to......... Andre Wisdom (LFC). Result - Israel 1 - 0 England

      Delete
  21. Blog
    think you're right, young players(or more precisely their thieving grabbing greedy agents)seek to earn loadsodosh by going to a big club too early just to sit on a plank

    ReplyDelete
  22. I love the BBC Sport main page's link for the England U21 story:

    England U21s finish pointless

    Looks like they're ready to join the full squad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Pointless"

      Dictionary says: having little or no sense, use, or purpose:

      Thesaurus says: senseless, futile, hopeless, fruitless, useless, needless, wasted, in vain, unavailing, aimless, idle, to no purpose, purposeless, worthless, valueless, unproductive, unprofitable; absurd, insane, nonsensical, stupid, silly, irrelevant, footling, fatuous, foolish, hollow, inane, ridiculous.

      Nothing about ending up without points, so wonder if all of the above apply?

      Delete
    2. isn't pointless having any LFC player as captain at international level.

      They're all crap at it -

      Robson, Shearer, Adams and Beckham always got us to tournaments (and generally past the group stage) whereas Terry and Stevie G have bene hopeless and Rio has been either injured, "unavailable" or "left out cos the other blokes a racist"

      Make Phil Jagielka captain and we may get somewhere

      Delete
    3. Yes, 'cos Jageilka's accustomed to winning stuff...........

      Oh wait!?

      Wouldn't matter anyway, whoever would be caprain, even if we won the WC in 2042, John Terry would still appear in his hoverwheelchair, throw off his breathing apparatus to show he had his England kit and shin pads on, to lift the trophy.

      Delete
    4. he's not but as we have LFC captains and lose all the time gettimg an Everton captain may have the opposite result

      Delete
  23. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/soccer/news/20130611/player-mistreats-dog-argentina.ap/?eref=sircrc

    No, Super Mario has not moved to Argentina. But although I think he should have handled it differently, I didn't realize one could be red carded for this.

    Calls to mind this, which I believe I posted quite a ways back.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C23hJ7rDW50

    ReplyDelete
  24. The one member of Man City worth supporting has passed on.

    http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/cat-astrophic-news-wimblydon-manchester-city-4302557

    RIP, friend. Though Mancini wasn't shy of having kittens, so I imagine they have another cat about. Or perhaps they'll bring in a furrener. I hear el Gato is being lined up in a $40m move.

    ReplyDelete
  25. i have to take issue with that report, Minnie Caldwell's cat, Bobby, was far more famous in Manchester than Wimbly.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Yes I know I should've done a blog on Mourinho but I've had a bellyful of the charm-oozing smarmer already so I'll let the regular boys show you how well they can stroke him under the chin. Jeez, you'd think Michael Palin had jut turned up to oversee a football club.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I for one thank you.

      Why the meedja fawn all over the bloke is beyond me, yes he has an extreamly good trophy winning record, 14 in 13 years in different countries is pretty amazing, even when you take into account the available budgets at the teams he has been were far greater then any other teams in their respected leagues, but the way they jizz all over him you'd think he was the second coming.

      "I am the Happy one......., I am where I want to be"

      Pass me a fucking bucket, what an utter prick. He's nowhere near where he wanted to be an he is not the manager Abromovich wanted, sweet justice really, they deserve each other.

      Roman made no secret of his desire to bring in Guardiola, offered him millions, but Pep shunned him for the team they beat in last years CL final, that must have hurt like a good swift kick in the nuts from a steelcapped boot.

      Let's be honest now, Maureen has been flashing his knickers towards Man U for as long as I can remember, his sycophantic infatuation over them during the CL tie against Real was nauceating , he thought himself a shoo in to take over from SAF, however the board and custodians at Old Trafford had way too much class to appoint an utter Chav like him as boss and went for the less experienced but more stable choice of Moyes. Mouriniho is about Mouriniho, he's more like a managerial consultant then a manager, he comes in, shakes things up, pisses people off and then rides off into the sunset when the going gets tough or a better deal comes along.

      Let's not forget his teams are dire to watch too, Chelsea and Inter won stuff, but they were not easy on the eye, His general behaviour had always been questionable, but never more so than at Madrid, where his infantile kicking and screaming at imagined conspiracies was truly painful to behold. His response to Barcelona was similarly so, he clearly instructed his players to kick them all over the field during various encounters between the clubs. Couple that with the tendency of the Barca players to dive, those games became nearly unwatchable, El Classico turned into El Classless brawl. Anyone who repeatedly sends an animal like Pepe out to kick a player like Messi should not be praised but slated. Add to that his poke in the eye to Vilanova and his numerous personal insults directed at Guardiola and it's not difficult to see why many in La Liga will be glad to see the back of him.

      I can't wait to see what happens if he doesn't hit the ground running, Abramovich must of had to swallow a whole chunk of pride to bring him back, he'll be waiting to pounce at the first wobble. Unfortunatly (for the rest of us) I feel that Chelsea have one of the, if not the, strongest squads in the league, an absolutly amazing midfield, a little bit of work needed on the frontline though. Plus all the old guard love him, he'll have no trouble exerting his dominance over them as he was the one who made them in the first place, they are all little spawn of Maureen basterds.

      Whatever happens, you can be sure that he'll have the vultures from Fleet Street eating out of his hands while he spoon feds them priceless soundbytes, like "I am a da dogs bolloxs" and "they no likey me because I am a so handsome", so prepare yourself for a Special One season long love in.

      Sorry 'Bells.

      Delete
    2. Absolutely, H. If Maureen had been offered both jobs this summer at OT and Chelsea, then he'd be straight up the M6 (or whichever road goes to Manchester. M6 is Birmingham ain't it?).

      Delete
  27. Careful, Robbo. You'll have bells chasing you with her truncheon out.


    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
  28. Silly season is truly upon us H2. Apparently, its AVB to PSG now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I saw that, AH.

      Another one of those baseless "rumours", a name picked out of a hat and coupled to an available position.

      Tomorrow they'll probably still be linking him, but only if Bale comes too.

      The Daily Fail out did themselves yesterday by having a story saying that Fabregas would welcome a move to Old Trafford (no quotes or calaberation ofcourse) on the same page as an article in which he said he had absolutly no intention of leaving unless they wanted him to go.

      Go figure.

      Delete
  29. Bells.

    Whatever you do, do NOT read H's post, above.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh fuck, I read your blog H, good stuff but Blog's right Bells, don't read it, it won't hurt much now but you could be scarred for life if (when) it all unravels.

      Delete
    2. Cheers Trot.

      I shall try to be more careful in the future.

      With great power comes great responsibility or some garbage like that. ;p

      Delete
  30. Spiderman's uncle was right, H. And as the Human Torch's auntie said 'Jesus fucking Christ someone call the fucking fire brigade'

    ReplyDelete
  31. Great power..great responsibility...

    Javier Mascherano sent off for Argentina after kicking medic in World Cup qualifier against Ecuador

    Classy.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Speaking of superheroes. I heard there was a bit of a hoo-ha about the new suit of the man of steel in the new Superman film.

    Purists are angry that the new suit is all blue and doesn't have the red underpants bit that all it's predecessors had.

    When asked why this was a guy from production said they wanted to get away from the comic book image and present "a more realistic Superman".

    Good luck with that mate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. stupid, they've missed the chance to sell millions of pairs of red underpants.

      Delete
    2. Indeed, even worse, they got a British bloke playing Superman, wow, a Brit playing an all American folk hero!!

      Can you imagine the indignity??


      That would be like us having to watch a yank portray Robin Hood.........

      OH!

      Delete
    3. so a "more realistic" superman doesn't wear red underpants outside?

      wellll ... kind of make sense ... i mean, who wear underpants outside?

      Delete
  33. Tax forms may be messi's kryptonite.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kevin Costner will play Messi in the movie.

      Delete
    2. Kevin Costner makes a mess of most movies.

      Delete
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  35. Mourinho is like Redknapp,loved by the meeja for his willingness to give them stories.

    He's a nasty piece of work though.

    Wenger the voyeur,Anders Frisk,assaulting a Barcelona coach.

    I do hope that one day a little boy will tell the world Maureen is wearing no clothes (put that in for Bells really,seeing as we're all picking on her beloved)

    As for Messi,he just needs to give 'arry a ring,couple of brown envelopes and it'll all go away.

    ReplyDelete
  36. they seem to like him at chelsea, jacks. says it all.

    BELLS DONT READ ANY OF THE ABOVE.

    on the debacle of the u21s characteristic failure, zaha highlights the essential problem with english players...stupidity >>>>>

    “We didn’t expect all that quality,” Zaha concluded.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Predo for next season

    Premiership
    1. Chelsea
    2. Man Utd
    3. Arsenal
    4. Man City

    FA Cup winners : Port Vale

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. or some permutation of that order. can only see utd or chelsea winning it tho.

      it#s a separate mini-super-league aint it? twice as big as the other leagues' own mini super-leagues. four times bigger than the scottish mini-super league (Celtic)

      Delete
    2. City 4th would be funny

      Delete
  38. I should have listened to the warnings, I feel physically sick now .......





    I went out with my friends last night and may possibly have had one too many



    I think it is fair to say that my view of the Yummy One compares somewhat favourably to that of H2's and, indeed,that of rather a lot of people on here.

    But just you wait til next May when we have won every trophy going - even in competitions we are not even in,like FA Vase,and when we have been voted the team-who-plays-the-most-beautiful-football-in-the-whole-wide-word-ever - you will all just have to eat your words ........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You had one too many friends, 'Bells?

      Two's company three's a crowd?

      AAAaaaawwwh, drinkies?

      Yeah, yeah, I always blame the last one too....

      I mean the other twenty three before that were fine. :)

      Delete
    2. Not so sure what a 'hangover-face' is but according to Mr BHB I currently have one and 'look shit'

      Delete
  39. Wenger to be certified insane in September, dressing room walls get padded. Gooners win the league. Moyes and Mancs happy with Champs league success. City win FA Cup which is good enough considering they're rebuilding. Mourinho mysteriously disappears while vacationing in Cornwall. His shoes and socks are found on the beach.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd hide his pants too Trotts

      Delete
    2. They are probably made from chocolate and he'd probably eat them as well.

      Carly Simon anyone?

      Delete
    3. He'd probably think this song was about him?

      Delete
    4. He does tend to walk into a party,like he was walking onto a yacht.

      Delete
    5. he walks into the yacht party like he was a texas riverboat gambler, looking for a notorious woman, played by ingrid bergman or Bells in the re-make

      his chocolate pants are actually Saratoga Trunks

      Ba-doom tsss

      Delete
    6. 'Bells as Ingrid Bergman

      Jose Mourinihio as Gary Cooper

      Rafa Benitez as Tommy Cooper

      Delete
    7. and Serena Williams as the stranger on the train.

      Delete
    8. david Warner and Joe Root as the unconvincing punch-up in the bar

      Delete
    9. suarez as lee van cleef as the bad guy

      rebecca adlington as a passing dolphin

      Delete
    10. a passing dolphin as Paul Scholes.

      Delete
    11. Lionel Messi as Lester Piggott.

      Delete
    12. Princess Anne as Shergar ridden by Lionel Messi as Lester Piggot

      Delete
  40. Arsene Wenger as a cranky old prospector who's found fools gold

    Gervinho, bendtner, squillaci as Fools Gold, a shit boy band

    pellegrini as mad Mexican bandit who listen s to a chills tune on a musical pocket watch and when the music stops, he loses his job

    Mourinho as ruined gunfighter reduced to retrieving rubles from spitoons in a rich mans saloon

    D. Moyes as Man in Crowd.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Bells as Woman in Crowd with Hangover Face

    ReplyDelete
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  46. fuck the tennis watch john cooper-clarke's poem about pies

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vc4JJ8C4N0

    ReplyDelete
  47. Bells - to answer your question about where everypne is this pm...

    we've all gon home early

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well how dare they when this is my daytime entertainment - make them come back at ONCE Bloggy

      Delete
    2. and you're not let off the hook either

      Delete
    3. I'm here...

      *tries desperatly to remove hook*

      Delete
    4. Pleased to hear it H2 - what time are you heading down to the bar today?

      This amused story amused me yesterday

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2340978/Nuisance-999-caller-phoned-police-complain-prostitutes-looks-meeting-flesh.html


      Delete
    5. Afternoon 'Bells.

      I've been in the bar since 10 a.m.

      I've learned (the hard way) over the last year that it's not mandatory to always have an alcoholic beverage in my hand while working.....

      Sometimes I put it down.

      Delete
  48. Looks like Wigan are stuffed either way

    Wigan chairman Dave Whelan will decide on his new manager on Friday, with former England boss Steve McClaren and ex-Burnley manager Owen Coyle understood to be the leading contenders.

    Full story: Daily Telegraph



    And on another footballing note, we have signed Shurrle -good signing in theory or not. To be honest don't really know him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22902197

      Coyle's got the nod according to the Beeb.

      I can't help you much with your new guy, I don't know much about him either.

      Delete
    2. Shurrle he'll be a great signing.

      Delete
  49. now back to 'When Animals attack Magicians' ..

    "pick a card Aaaaaaggggghhhhhh"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do seriously worry about you sometimes Bloggy :)

      Delete
    2. me too,bells, i went to the doctors yesterday he said youve got bronchitis and early-onset alzheimers i said look on the bright side at least i havent got bronchitis

      Delete
    3. So Debbie McGee what first attracted you to millionaire Paul Daniels

      Delete
    4. I couldn't work out what on earth Claudia Schiffer saw in David Copperfield.

      I know it was Dickens' favourite book,but even so.....

      Delete
    5. I urge you to lay off Deb, Bells. Old (and i mean really old) childhood flame.

      Delete
    6. I once met Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee. They were in the Falklands doing some Forces Entertainment stuff, and they were on the same plane as me when they left. Paul was a twat, and Debbie was covered in animal fur, just smiling and looking pretty.

      Delete
  50. AH,

    Debbie McGee?

    Lesley Judd and Isla St Clair for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you're a bit young for them Jacks aren't you?

      Delete
    2. Bet none of you can guess who my crush is

      Delete
    3. Nope,remember them well Bells.

      I was a bit too young for them at the time mind you.

      Is your crush Avram Grant Bells?

      Delete
    4. An eye for the older lady then Jacks in your yoof!

      Close with Avram but not quite (excuse me while I throw up violently)

      Delete
  51. Blogidy,

    https://twitter.com/CHAIRCOVERSTOKE/status/345559535043362816/photo/1

    ReplyDelete
  52. well its very nearly wine time on a Friday afternoon,so have good weekend everyone

    see you next week unless I win the obscene amount of money that is the Euromillion jackpot in which case me and Mr BHB will battle it out as to who has the best hangover-face

    ReplyDelete
  53. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22910579

    For a moment I thought the New England Revolution signed a couple Koreans.

    ReplyDelete
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  55. ejakulacja? doesn't quite sound as if it'd be about running a blog!

    ReplyDelete
  56. well done Justin Rose. US Open trophy is going back where it belongs, Florida.

    ReplyDelete
  57. AnfieldHopeful12 June 2013 16:56
    Silly season is truly upon us H2. Apparently, its AVB to PSG now.


    Holloway2Holland12 June 2013 18:05
    Yeah I saw that, AH.

    Another one of those baseless "rumours", a name picked out of a hat and coupled to an available position.

    Tomorrow they'll probably still be linking him, but only if Bale comes too.


    Paris St-Germain will attempt to convince Tottenham manager Andre Villas-Boas to become their new boss by making an £85m bid for 23-year-old Spurs star Gareth Bale and also trying to sign Chelsea defender David Luiz, 26.
    Full story: Daily Mirror

    and

    Paris St-Germain hope Andre Villas-Boas will convince Gareth Bale, 23, to join him in the French capital.
    Full story: Le Figaro (French)

    Okay, so I was a week off.

    ReplyDelete
  58. What are Newcastle playing at again?

    They do love stirring the pot don't they? Appointing Joe "I've never been a manager of a club that's been relegated" Kinnear (Luton obviously doesn't count) as Director of Football really seems just like a petty way of pissing off Pardew.

    It will be interesting to see how he takes Joe "intefering" with his squad, I can't imagine for a second that it was his idea to have someone brought in above him. It may be just a ploy for him to walk away of own accord so that Ashley won't have to sack him andstump up on his (ridiculous) 8 year contract.

    ReplyDelete
  59. http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/the-30-most-hilarious-autocorrect-struggles-ever

    Tremendously funny.

    ReplyDelete
  60. that's a cracker Jacks. best laugh for eons.

    ReplyDelete
  61. http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/autocorrect-fails-that-will-get-you-on-the-government-watch

    ReplyDelete
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