Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Miseryside

How do. Been a couple of weeks and more and I can only apologise, unless you're among the ones who feel that the break has been quite a relief.

It's probably taken me that long to get over Middlesbrough's penalty shoot-out loss at the home of the honeymoon blues, Merseyside. Some of you might think it's exciting to be involved in such a major piece of football history. Bugger that. We lost. Folks used to say the same about Malcolm Nash (Glamorgan bowler hit for 6 sixes by Gary Sobers). It's the kind of recognition you don't want.

Still Merseyside is an eerily edgy location if you're a football fan right ow. On the one hand, there's Brendan Rogers, a man who looked for all the while like some kind of footballing saviour last season.

There he was galloping off with the Premier League title, a string of English steeds trotting in his wake, a bite-less bandito taking lumps out of the opposition in respectable ways (that was before the Spaghetti Chiellini of course). It was 25 years since Hillsborough too. There was a neatness, a poetry, a romance about the whole thing that most of us thought football had long since lost.

All of us, even me, were swept along in the wake of this inevitable outcome. And then came three goals in fifteen minutes at Selhurst Park and the whole edifice crumbled like so much team spirit in an English cricket team's dressing room.

Now the gaucho is grazing pastures new, and Brendan has armed himself with questionable replacements. Gerrard looks more and more like that other Scouse hero Red Rum. Soon there'll be the Anfield statue to welcome you and the real Gerrard will be moving slightly more slowly during the game.

I'm not having a pop, it's just the old fella's last hurrah isn't far off. Injuries haven't helped and you can tell how worried Rodgers is cos he won't allow Sturridge to have some shooting practice against San Marino - which is a bit like not letting your toddler play on the lawn cos of the sharpness of the blades of grass.

That rallying cry from last season 'We Go Again!'? It's been replaced by a somewhat crestfallen 'Here We Go Again...' Still at least they can beat Boro. After thirty bloody penalties.

Meanwhile the blue half are undergoing a transformation from swaggering speedy top-four fanciers to relegation dog-fighters. Those that worried that Martinez had arrived from a demoted club may about to be vindicated. There is something remarkably Wiganesque about Everton's defending at the moment.

Baines and Jagielka look a little scarred from being, well, a bit shit for England over the summer, and there seems little prospect of it getting better when Roberto is intent on keeping his better players on the pitch for the endless unappetising finger buffet that is the Europa League.

Indeed both clubs have not found the transition from  domestic competition to Europe and back again very easy at all. All right they're doing better than Man Citeh, but the list of crocks grows longer by the week and neither of them look like they have the energy to prosper in the League this season.

The sooner both leave the European adventure behind and get back to having a rest in the week the better.

Of course Chelsea don't seem to be too bothered by such distractions. But then they have a squad that's deeper than a Siberian lake and Mourinho's found a centre-forward. Frankly if they'd have had a number nine last year who could get on the pitch without trying his shoelaces together they'd be champions now.

Diego Costa is the difference, and one wonders how crocked he was for Spain during the World Cup for all the difference he made. Mind you he was feeding off tippy-tappy scraps there, whereas, with Fabregas and Hazard moving the ball much more quickly, here he's got time and space to pick his moment and when the chance arrives he finishes like Danny Welbeck... has done... once. Or maybe twice.

Chelsea look like they could be champs by Christmas, although there's always Man United. They're positively buzzing now they've got away with an offside and their keeper's diverted bullets like Wonderwoman used to.

(And let's pause there and think about Lynda Carter). 



What's certain about United, with Di Maria showboating like he's wandered out of the circus, Rooney hacking away at knees like his kicking the heads of dandelions, and the defenders looking like the're trying to find their way out of a maze, they ain't going to be dull.

And to be fair, entertainment allied to failure is a winning combination in this country. Look at Keegan's Newcastle. Redknapp's Spurs, Rodgers' Liverpool.  Barely won a thing between 'em. And we love 'em. Hell if Van Gaal can keep this up we might even warm to United a little.

And I guess we should spare a little thought here for Kevin Pietersen, a man who still clearly has no idea how he comes across. Here's a clue KP - when someone so ridiculously blessed with talent becomes dispensable, it's cos you're one heck of a knob. The fact that there are other pillocks in that dressing-room who aren't much better doesn't in any way validate your point-of-view.

By the way, Middlesbrough are a point off top-spot. Just saying.





47 comments:

  1. and I read it first too!

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  2. Blessed is the photo of Lynda Carter,for she adorned many a shrine.

    (teenagers bedroom)

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    1. I had one! Broke it though

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    2. Broke? Or stained?


      Jedi

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  3. Like music to my... eyes? Brain? Maybe I should save the words for Robbo. Me no use word good. American!

    Are you implying that Gerrard should be put out to stud now so he isn't shot if he gets injured? Of course, the great JT hasn't waited to retire for stud services...

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    1. Red rum was gelded - do you think if we did the same to Stevie (or Sterling maybe) they would last longer at the top?

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  4. Good stuff Robbo. From Spartans to spent. I especially liked the memories evoked by the skin-slashing blades of grass, they don't grow 'em like that anymore.

    Red Rum was gelded long before he won anything Stephen and he still got a statue and made a second career out of supermarket openings.

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    1. when i were a lad we played football with t'cannonball on a greensward of scimitars...

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  5. And d'ye know? Lynda Carter did it all without boob jobs and botox and photoshop 'n' all that other bollocks these modern lasses rely on! (Have you seen unretouched photos of Katy Perry? Pretty plain...) She was genuinely that beautiful - still quite easy on the eyes today! 'Course, in that outfit, me dad used to inquire, "Isn't Tinsel Tits on tonight?" when he got home from work...

    Oh! Er, ah...football? Um, yeah, it's...really good. Robbo is very, ah, insightful. Ah...good blog, Lynda...

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  6. Robbo! Linda Carter, happy days...great post, and re your comment on the Boro being a point of the top (where Wolves shoulda bin if they'd not tripped up two games on the bounce, grrr!) how's about you waxing lyrical a bit more on the 'ship, as well as the International and PL tosh? Plenty of fans of the lower divisions read your pears I'll wager...

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  7. for pears read pearls, oopsey!

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    1. You were still looking at that pic of Linda Cater!

      Spider

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  8. Rodgers went out and replaced quality with quantity. Lovren looks decent.
    Balotelli is a genius. Needs to sit on the bench more tho!

    Everton spent £28m on Lukaku, Chelsea spent £32m on Costa. Chelsea bought Costa for £4m!

    Utd bought Mata for £37m, Chelsea bought Fabregas for £27m.

    Someone somewhere should be FIRED!!!

    Btw Beautiful pic of Wonderwoman Robbo. Made the read all the more delightful.

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  9. Keane and kp slashing off everyone they ever played with i.e. for it's a depressing spectacle but Keane gets his here....http://www.eadt.co.uk/mobile/sport/ipswich-town/roy_keane_s_a_coward_pablo_counago_hits_back_at_former_ipswich_town_boss_s_book_criticism_1_3799523

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    1. This explains a lot for me:

      http://babb.telegraph.co.uk/2014/10/roy-keane-gets-animated-the-truth-behind-the-anger/

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  11. Boro, Chelsea team B

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  12. Speaking of misery. Roy keane. I'm starting to feel sorry for him. He has the mental age of a 7 year old. he wants to fight. He didnt like Ipswich because, no kidding, they play in blue and it reminded him of Rangers and Man City....

    I rang him up to ask where I could buy his book but I didnt like his ansaphone message so decided I wasnt going to buy it

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    1. In fairness to Roy,we weren't too keen either.

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  13. ...on a greensward of scimitars with poisoned edges and we were bare foot and the chell heathers were shooting at us with air guns...

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    1. and instead of a booking did you get a broken dandelion and burdock bottle rammed in yer throat like in the Lancashire League?

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  14. Whoa... Slovakia overturn Spain. Fair result in the end. Spain weren't at their best. The first Slovakian goal was a bit fortunate, the Spanish goal was offside, and the winner came on the counter attack.

    Well done on the 55-0 victory. Oh, wait... 5? Close enough.

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  15. On BBC website one of headlines is

    Where is North Koreas leader Kim Jong-un

    sounds like a slightly more sinister version of Where's Wally?

    Anyway am very disappointed Robbo you feel it appropriate to pander to the men on here and put up a photo of Wonder Woman yet despite my (occasional) hints, no picture of Mourinho

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    1. that's rubbish Bells, over the years Robbo has included at least two pictures of Maureen and as far as I can recall this is the first ever of Wonderwoman.

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    2. I always talk rubbish Trotts :)

      And yes Robbo did very kindly put a photo up of the Yummy One for me but that was some time ago now and it seems to be a distant memory now ... Or maybe that is just my age

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  16. Horay! He FINALLY blogged! Cheered me up here in Oman:)

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  17. oh when the Saints go marching in!

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  18. Make it through the classic American commentary at the outset and you will be richly rewarded.

    http://www.mlssoccer.com/video/2014/10/11/goal-lee-nguyen-pulls-incredible-chip

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    1. More impressive was him not getting distracted by the giant seagull's attempted tackle at 1:00. :) No, that was a legitimately nifty first touch and bit of skill! Can't help but point out it was the English-sounding commentator that used the phrase, "the old scooperoo..."

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  19. Headline on Beeb Footy website:

    "Rooney a father figure - Wilshere"

    Not going to link it, as you won't be that richly rewarded. Just wanted to light that particular fuse in everyone's head and run away...

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  20. See that Bolton have gone for quality in their new appointment. I wonder if this will be the start of an exodus from Celtic to Bolton. Good luck to Lennon.

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    1. good choice I reckon! Then again, I've said that about the last 5.

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    2. I agree. He will ensure there is passion and his tactical awareness improved via the champions league experiences.

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    3. Bolton need a little Help to escape the Helter-skelter and I Imagine it won't be Instant Kharma or Bolton had better hope not otherwise it's Meat City.

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  21. Btw brilliant blog as always Robbo. You set the standard others dream of reaching.

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  22. Managed to beat 10 man Estonia by a solitary set piece goal. Euro 16 definitely in the bag.

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    1. We did better than the German ubermenschen though.

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  23. It is quite scary that England seem now to be becoming reliant on sterling to perform. They will need to give him an earlier bed time I think so he is not too tired to play a second match in a week ????????

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    1. Well to be fair to him I feel a bit tired today n'all. I'm off for a lie down.

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  24. 4-1 victory over the mighty Yeovil.

    Top scorer Tom Pope told by Smurf he's paid too much so expect a pay cut. This is the clearest sign yet that Austerity is getting out of hand.

    Violence is the midwife of a society pregnant with the new. Trouble is the midwives are on strike.

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  25. Sepp had detained robbo an after severe torture (watching highlights of posh this season) he has broken.
    "its a fair cop, it was me what dunnit" said our fave blogger when asked who fixed the world cup.

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